# So Cool! Look what I just got?



## Ian Richard Markham (Jan 13, 2019)

Even though they're way late with this because I am at 300+ trips without a cancellation right now.


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## 1.5xorbust (Nov 22, 2017)

Yeah. That is cool.


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## Pax Collector (Feb 18, 2018)

Yay, worthless points! Because you know, decent pay is overrated.


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## mellorock (Sep 16, 2018)

Maybe they could send out little boxes of gold stars instead. (In school supplies)☺


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## Ian Richard Markham (Jan 13, 2019)

It’s just that I feel anointed any time I receive direct communication from the Mother Company. It means I’m still relevant!


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## Sid hartha (Jun 15, 2019)

Lol you're an enslaved ant working for an increasingly desperate company looking to cut costs/increase revenues without really paying drivers more.


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## Ian Richard Markham (Jan 13, 2019)

Sid hartha said:


> Lol you're an enslaved ant working for an increasingly desperate company looking to cut costs/increase revenues without really paying drivers more.


While that may be true I know that they give me expensive ass tools to use that work better than the tools I've had at any other company I've worked for. Uber is not desperate though until we see them cutback on their expenses which there's no sign of. Their owners are allowing them to spend money like crazy. The Uber Driver Partner App is beautiful and the map on there Kicks Ass! Seriously the colors and smooth rendering takes pros I tell you. Have you ever used the map in the Uber Driver Partner App to like zoom in on a random town in the country of Zimbabwe? The streets and turns and one ways are there like it's just down the street. But it's all at your fingertips. The other day I took a stroll down the Avenue des Champs-Élysées just for fun via the Uber Driver Partner App. I am going to film a screen recording of the map on the Uber Driver Partner App and fly around to my favorite cities in the world. The video will be entitled "Magic Carpet Ride"


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## New2This (Dec 27, 2015)

Take your 50 Uber Pro points to a Starbuck's or Chipotle and use them to pay for something. 

You will be a tired hungry jabroni.


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## kc ub'ing! (May 27, 2016)

You da man IRM!


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## Soldiering (Jan 21, 2019)

Ian you are on a level I cannot ever possibly achieve. Good for you bro.


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## Ian Richard Markham (Jan 13, 2019)

Yea i’m all about new levels


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## Invisible (Jun 15, 2018)

Go, Ian! Go, Ian! 
You pickup pax never stoppin’ for a peein’.
We, at Uber, love you the most today.
But tomorrow we may just part ways.
You’re our happiest ant.
So that’s why we made you this chant.
Keep spreading the word how great we are.
And we may just send you a shiny, new star. 
Thank you for being a pro.
But we’re too cheap to send you extra dough.

❤ From Rohit, aka support that’s full of s h I t.


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## CT1 (Aug 23, 2019)

If you installed a urinary catheter you'd be an unstoppable force in r/s. I'd put my money on IRM+catheter vs SDC. Maybe they can use you to train the customer service AI portion of the SDCs


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## DexNex (Apr 18, 2015)

Cool. Maybe you have enough for a finger puppet.


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## Mista T (Aug 16, 2017)

It's so cool when they recognize the individual, right?

A couple weeks ago I got a major bonus - they upgraded me to Diamond status. Just for ME!!

Not sure why, cuz my AR is around 30%. But it was a nice gesture I suppose.

Now if they would only do something for the masses...


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## CT1 (Aug 23, 2019)

I thought you lost use of any benefits if levels fall below threshold, something like 75% ar etc


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## CDP (Nov 11, 2018)

Are those like skeeball tickets?


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## CT1 (Aug 23, 2019)

Need IRM cyborg pic ASAP


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## Uber's Guber (Oct 22, 2017)

Ian Richard Markham said:


> So Cool! Look what I just got?


A new toupée?


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## tohunt4me (Nov 23, 2015)

Pax Collector said:


> Yay, worthless points! Because you know, decent pay is overrated.


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## Cdub2k (Nov 22, 2017)

Ian Richard Markham said:


> *Uber is not desperate though until we see them cutback on their expenses which there's no sign of.*


You must not be keeping track of how poorly their stock is doing and how much money they are losing. The signs are there but the question is do you want to see them or do you just wish to ignore them.


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## JaredJ (Aug 7, 2015)

Uber Pro is a quest system meant to bait drivers. It became popular after Starbucks's CIO created a similar system based on his experience as a Guild Master in World of Warcraft.

Uber Pro is a glaring example of how far Uber will go to incentivize drivers rather than pay them a fare rate.

source:
http://money.cnn.com/2014/06/19/technology/world-of-warcraft-resume/index.html


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## Illini (Mar 14, 2019)

Sell the points on eBay.


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## lyft_rat (Jul 1, 2019)

CT1 said:


> I thought you lost use of any benefits if levels fall below threshold, something like 75% ar etc


Indeed, for resons not understood I got some elite "pro status", gold I think, but it does me no good because I wear my low numbers proudly.


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## tohunt4me (Nov 23, 2015)

Pax Collector said:


> Yay, worthless points! Because you know, decent pay is overrated.


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## welikecamping (Nov 27, 2018)

Ian Richard Markham said:


> It's just that I feel anointed any time I receive direct communication from the Mother Company. It means I'm still relevant!


Super-Cool! Can you make a car payment with those points?

Nah, seriously, congratulations. I was once just like that, but then reality hit me. Points, stars, compliments are all very nice to get, but none of them equals revenue.


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## Coastal_Cruiser (Oct 1, 2018)

Na na na na na.

♫
My bonus is better than your bonus
My bonus is better than yours
My bonus is better
But it don't mean a thing
My bonus is better than yours
♫


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## Uberdriver914 (Jun 15, 2019)

Ian Richard Markham said:


> View attachment 349967
> 
> 
> Even though they're way late with this because I am at 300+ trips without a cancellation right now.


I got 692 points and I think to myself everyday okay? It'd be nice if I could have the option to convert those points into a Coca Cola bc than at least it'd be worth it. To me having almost 700 points is the equivalent to 0 points. Uber if your listening why don't you grab those points and send me a check for $700 that'd be nice.


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## IR12 (Nov 11, 2017)

Ian Richard Markham said:


> While that may be true I know that they give me expensive ass tools to use that work better than the tools I've had at any other company I've worked for. Uber is not desperate though until we see them cutback on their expenses which there's no sign of. Their owners are allowing them to spend money like crazy. The Uber Driver Partner App is beautiful and the map on there Kicks Ass! Seriously the colors and smooth rendering takes pros I tell you. Have you ever used the map in the Uber Driver Partner App to like zoom in on a random town in the country of Zimbabwe? The streets and turns and one ways are there like it's just down the street. But it's all at your fingertips. The other day I took a stroll down the Avenue des Champs-Élysées just for fun via the Uber Driver Partner App. I am going to film a screen recording of the map on the Uber Driver Partner App and fly around to my favorite cities in the world. The video will be entitled "Magic Carpet Ride"


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## TPAMB (Feb 13, 2019)

Ooooooh boy!


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## Uberisfuninlv (Mar 22, 2017)

Dara thanks you for your contributions to the community


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## nouberipo (Jul 24, 2018)

Ian Richard Markham said:


> View attachment 349967
> 
> 
> Even though they're way late with this because I am at 300+ trips without a cancellation right now.


wtf.........you got excited about this? I am not sure about you but when I was in nursery school and kindergarten I used to get little star stickers when I did something good.....then I would be proud and show it to everyone so I could get validation as a person... even though it was meaningless. I am glad you felt the need to share this infantile screenshot and that you somehow see it as a badge of honor to promote this millennial-derived points system as if it is going to pay the bills. You are part of the problem with Uber mate as this is exactly what they want.......keep dropping the pay but keep making up games to keep drivers from seeing the real problems with driving for below minimum wage while taking on tons of risk.


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## JaredJ (Aug 7, 2015)

I had an employer ask me after having been with the same company for 7 years what motivates me? I said, "money." The occasional attaboy is nice, but I know I do good work and get things done.

*Show me you appreciate me by paying me what I'm worth.

Dont patronize me with digital stickers, faux trophies, and arbitrary milestones.

When a company will do absolutely everything but pay you what you're worth, they don't need you or value you. They'll spend a million to avoid paying you a million and one.*


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## Uber Crack (Jul 19, 2017)

Ian Richard Markham said:


> It's just that I feel anointed any time I receive direct communication from the Mother Company. It means I'm still relevant!


Mother effin Company
FIFY ?


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## rkozy (Apr 5, 2019)

JaredJ said:


> Uber Pro is a glaring example of how far Uber will go to incentivize drivers rather than pay them a fare rate.
> [/URL]


I'm still trying to figure out how Uber Pro is an actual incentive. The one "incentive" I keep hearing about is the destination distance given on all incoming pings. You have to maintain an 85% acceptance rating to keep that feature active. How many worthless pings will you need to accept? Simple math says that's 17 out of every 20 Uber throws at you.

That's a ton of 15-minute drives to pick up Section 8 tenants who are going nine blocks to Family Dollar. But, if you play ball, Uber will let you know exactly how worthless that ride you just accepted will be...long before you even pull up to the complex.



nouberipo said:


> wtf.........you got excited about this?


Ian has to be some kind of internet performance artist who is doing an online character skit for his own amusement.

That, or he has some severe mental illness. Or, it could be both. The concepts aren't mutually exclusive.


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## Uberyouber (Jan 16, 2017)

You should use those 50 points to buy yourself a new mirror...


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## Cassiopeia (Sep 2, 2019)

Cdub2k said:


> You must not be keeping track of how poorly their stock is doing and how much money they are losing. The signs are there but the question is do you want to see them or do you just wish to ignore them.


Expenses are lawsuits, marketing, and post offices?


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## Uberyouber (Jan 16, 2017)

New2This said:


> Take your 50 Uber Pro points to a Starbuck's or Chipotle and use them to pay for something.
> 
> You will be a tired hungry jabroni.





rkozy said:


> I'm still trying to figure out how Uber Pro is an actual incentive. The one "incentive" I keep hearing about is the destination distance given on all incoming pings. You have to maintain an 85% acceptance rating to keep that feature active. How many worthless pings will you need to accept? Simple math says that's 17 out of every 20 Uber throws at you.
> 
> That's a ton of 15-minute drives to pick up Section 8 tenants who are going nine blocks to Family Dollar. But, if you play ball, Uber will let you know exactly how worthless that ride you just accepted will be...long before you even pull up to the complex.
> 
> ...


Sir IAN is a Dallas local legend. I will have you know..


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## NauticalWheeler (Jun 15, 2019)

Uberyouber said:


> Sir IAN is a Dallas local legend. I will have you know..


He is and we always take him back even after he cheats on us over here in the nationwide forums. We know he'll change as he ages.


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## Invisible (Jun 15, 2018)

rkozy said:


> I'm still trying to figure out how Uber Pro is an actual incentive. The one "incentive" I keep hearing about is the destination distance given on all incoming pings. You have to maintain an 85% acceptance rating to keep that feature active. How many worthless pings will you need to accept? Simple math says that's 17 out of every 20 Uber throws at you.
> 
> That's a ton of 15-minute drives to pick up Section 8 tenants who are going nine blocks to Family Dollar. But, if you play ball, Uber will let you know exactly how worthless that ride you just accepted will be...long before you even pull up to the complex.
> 
> ...


I agree with you on Pro. The only reason I like it is getting the destination diffence and direction.

I don't think Ian is s performance artist. I think he strives to be an infamous R/S driver with his videos about R/S. By having his name on here, all future employers will see his unique posts and the kissing scene.



Coastal_Cruiser said:


> Na na na na na.
> 
> ♫
> My bonus is better than your bonus
> ...


I keep singing Journey now with your Na na na's.


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## welikecamping (Nov 27, 2018)

The "Kissing scene"? um, yeah, I'll pass.


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## Mole (Mar 9, 2017)

Ian Richard Markham said:


> View attachment 349967
> 
> 
> Even though they're way late with this because I am at 300+ trips without a cancellation right now.


How much $$$$$ is that worth?


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## Matt Uterak (Jul 28, 2015)

That is pretty cool, but have you ever had Doritos Locos tacos at Taco Bell?


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## Disgusted38 (Dec 18, 2018)

Ian Richard Markham said:


> View attachment 349967
> 
> 
> Even though they're way late with this because I am at 300+ trips without a cancellation right now.


What I don't get is how can you have zero cancellations? You don't get people that will make you wait 10 minutes if you let them? Or the ones that order an Uber but they got a friend that gave them a ride and they didn't cancel you? Or friends that think you're going to sit and wait for them while they have happy hour while you wait? Etc.. etc...


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## mellorock (Sep 16, 2018)

Ian Richard Markham said:


> While that may be true I know that they give me expensive ass tools to use that work better than the tools I've had at any other company I've worked for. Uber is not desperate though until we see them cutback on their expenses which there's no sign of. Their owners are allowing them to spend money like crazy. The Uber Driver Partner App is beautiful and the map on there Kicks Ass! Seriously the colors and smooth rendering takes pros I tell you. Have you ever used the map in the Uber Driver Partner App to like zoom in on a random town in the country of Zimbabwe? The streets and turns and one ways are there like it's just down the street. But it's all at your fingertips. The other day I took a stroll down the Avenue des Champs-Élysées just for fun via the Uber Driver Partner App. I am going to film a screen recording of the map on the Uber Driver Partner App and fly around to my favorite cities in the world. The video will be entitled "Magic Carpet Ride"


Koolaid. ☺


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## Galveston (Aug 16, 2019)

JaredJ said:


> Uber Pro is a quest system meant to bait drivers. It became popular after Starbucks's CIO created a similar system based on his experience as a Guild Master in World of Warcraft.
> 
> Uber Pro is a glaring example of how far Uber will go to incentivize drivers rather than pay them a fare rate.
> 
> ...


I don't give a f about Uber pro I'm here to make money


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## Ian Richard Markham (Jan 13, 2019)

Ian Richard Markham said:


> The revolution may or may not be televised.
> 
> Just a few more minutes folkes... (2:06am)


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## Ian Richard Markham (Jan 13, 2019)

Disgusted38 said:


> What I don't get is how can you have zero cancellations? You don't get people that will make you wait 10 minutes if you let them? Or the ones that order an Uber but they got a friend that gave them a ride and they didn't cancel you? Or friends that think you're going to sit and wait for them while they have happy hour while you wait? Etc.. etc...


I'm really good at getting people motivated to get in the car. After we talk on the phone or text they are actually just excited to meet me!



Matt Uterak said:


> That is pretty cool, but have you ever had Doritos Locos tacos at Taco Bell?


PS I've always said that they should make the shell of the Mexican Pizza entrée with a Doritos Locos shell, like basically two flat wafer style Doritos chips about five inches in diameter. That's all we need right there.


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## charmer37 (Nov 18, 2016)

Uber Pro...Lol


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## unPat (Jul 20, 2016)

Ian Richard Markham said:


> View attachment 349967
> 
> 
> Even though they're way late with this because I am at 300+ trips without a cancellation right now.


You are a wasted talent if you keep driving Uber . You should enroll in UBERS ASU , became a Doctor and go save some African Kids.


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## Sid hartha (Jun 15, 2019)

Ian Richard Markham said:


> While that may be true I know that they give me expensive ass tools to use that work better than the tools I've had at any other company I've worked for. Uber is not desperate though until we see them cutback on their expenses....


Sorry to break your bubble kid but uber/lyft is going to be a company that will face increasing stress to try to raise rates if they can and cut costs where they can. Wall street is not buying into their story at the price uber/left think they are worth. Unless uber or lyft can show increasing revenue/lower costs to make a profit - a cascade of events will happen before they close their doors for good. As the stock price goes down, it becomes harder to sell stock to raise money, employees who can leave start leaving because after they have cashed out their good stock options, they are given worthless options now. When they are left with ~9 months of cash, you will hear about more layoffs, abandoning some businesses. As a last gasp, you will see uber/lyft try to pay drivers net 15/hr gross 21/hr (I think lyft is at or close to this now). My advice - work on getting out asap


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## Ian Richard Markham (Jan 13, 2019)

Sid hartha said:


> Sorry to break your bubble kid but uber/lyft is going to be a company that will face increasing stress to try to raise rates if they can and cut costs where they can. Wall street is not buying into their story at the price uber/left think they are worth. Unless uber or lyft can show increasing revenue/lower costs to make a profit - a cascade of events will happen before they close their doors for good. As the stock price goes down, it becomes harder to sell stock to raise money, employees who can leave start leaving because after they have cashed out their good stock options, they are given worthless options now. When they are left with ~9 months of cash, you will hear about more layoffs, abandoning some businesses. As a last gasp, you will see uber/lyft try to pay drivers net 15/hr gross 21/hr (I think lyft is at or close to this now). My advice - work on getting out asap


They have and are loosing money, agreed. There's just tons and tons more money out there that will be given to them and the well is far from running dry.


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## lyft_rat (Jul 1, 2019)

Ian Richard Markham said:


> They have and are loosing money, agreed. There's just tons and tons more money out there that will be given to them and the well is far from running dry.


This is a true statement (even being "loose" with money). At the same time, things can still get worse for drivers.


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## Ian Richard Markham (Jan 13, 2019)

lyft_rat said:


> This is a true statement. At the same time, things can still get worse for drivers.


And drivers can get more creative. For example, I make a huge impression on anyone I meet and Uber would not like it if I lobbied Dallas City Government Officials to do something like making rider spoofing illegal.


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## Ian Richard Markham (Jan 13, 2019)

Uber Crack said:


> Mother effin Company
> FIFY ?


@Uber Crack I don't remember seeing the Author designation beneath your avatar! Is that new! Geez to me that designation would be like carrying an Amex Black card or an American Airlines Million Miler Card.


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## CaptJohn (Apr 27, 2016)

mellorock said:


> Koolaid. ☺


What are you talking about ???


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## mellorock (Sep 16, 2018)

unPat said:


> You are a wasted talent if you keep driving Uber . You should enroll in UBERS ASU , became a Doctor and go save some African Kids.





CaptJohn said:


> What are you talking about ???





CaptJohn said:


> What are you talking about ???


Slavish devotion to a philosophy or company policy. (Jim Jones cyanide tainted koolaid) . If people really think acceptance rates are really important,then someone somewhere has a bridge to sell them✌


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## JPaiva (Apr 21, 2019)

Ian Richard Markham said:


> View attachment 349967
> 
> 
> Even though they're way late with this because I am at 300+ trips without a cancellation right now.


Don't feel too special, no extra effort to get mine, AND they gave me more than you. HaHaHa.


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## Dekero (Sep 24, 2019)

Ian Richard Markham said:


> View attachment 349967
> 
> 
> Even though they're way late with this because I am at 300+ trips without a cancellation right now.


You should be super proud!!!

Another 10 or so of those and they will still be worth jack @@@@, and serve to prove you took every crap ping sent your way...

If I could only... Never achieve this ... I would be a very happy ant...


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## Ian Richard Markham (Jan 13, 2019)

Here we are with 15 days left in the measurement period and looking back it doesn't seem like I ever really needed the extra points but it was nice of Uber to think of me anyways.


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## Dekero (Sep 24, 2019)

Ian Richard Markham said:


> Here we are with 15 days left in the measurement period and looking back it doesn't seem like I ever really needed the extra points but it was nice of Uber to think of me anyways.
> 
> View attachment 367721


Good ANT.... WELL DONE...


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## Ian Richard Markham (Jan 13, 2019)

Dekero said:


> Good ANT.... WELL DONE...


I'm a good ant and I'm small and good


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## Negg (Jun 26, 2019)

Cool. Guess my 30% cancellation rate won’t get me a bonus. Then again uber pro is a joke


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## RideshareUSA (Feb 7, 2019)

Ian Richard Markham said:


> View attachment 349967
> 
> 
> Even though they're way late with this because I am at 300+ trips without a cancellation right now.


?


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## Who is John Galt? (Sep 28, 2016)

Ian Richard Markham said:


> Here we are with 15 days left in the measurement period and looking back it doesn't seem like I ever really needed the extra points but it was nice of Uber to think of me anyways.
> 
> View attachment 367721


Good work IRMie, let's have a pissing competition. Check out mine. :smiles:


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## Dekero (Sep 24, 2019)

Who is John Galt? said:


> Good work IRMie, let's have a pissing competition. Check out mine. :smiles:
> 
> View attachment 368064


Wooooaaahhh the ants are lining up!! Good company men you guys are....


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## JPaiva (Apr 21, 2019)

Ian Richard Markham said:


> View attachment 349967
> 
> 
> Even though they're way late with this because I am at 300+ trips without a cancellation right now.


yea congrats- you were just awarded yhe equivalent of $1 on a 5$ scratch off lottery ticket.


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## peteyvavs (Nov 18, 2015)

Ian Richard Markham said:


> It's just that I feel anointed any time I receive direct communication from the Mother Company. It means I'm still relevant!


No you're not relevant, just gullible ?


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## Ian Richard Markham (Jan 13, 2019)

Who is John Galt? said:


> Good work IRMie, let's have a pissing competition. Check out mine. :smiles:
> View attachment 368064
> View attachment 368065


You are a bad ass sum B my friend and I got mad respect for that. Hats off bro. That must have been the ultimate grind. I could have done that well but my peeps in the Dallas forum have me all jazzed up about declining and cancelling and going off line more. I get so jaded always feeling like I'm fighting the system that I've tried a few things but I think I'm going back to anting asap after seeing this.


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## songoku (Nov 27, 2016)

Who is John Galt? said:


> Good work IRMie, let's have a pissing competition. Check out mine. :smiles:
> 
> View attachment 368064
> View attachment 368065


Holy F. Superant right here.



Ian Richard Markham said:


> You are a bad ass sum B my friend and I got mad respect for that. Hats off bro. That must have been the ultimate grind. I could have done that well but my peeps in the Dallas forum have me all jazzed up about declining and cancelling and going off line more. I get so jaded always feeling like I'm fighting the system that I've tried a few things but I think I'm going back to anting asap after seeing this.


No Sir Ian. You are on the right track.

Keep practicing your fishing skill.


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