# Just Had To Call The Cops On A Rider’s Abusive Boyfriend



## RDWRER (May 24, 2018)

So hopefully I can keep this story short.

Basically I pulled up to a gated apartment complex on an address, something like 1234 Budweiser Lane (neither the actual address nor street), and I see a guy standing outside that at first I think might be my passenger but he doesn't come anywhere near the car and the name is a girl's so I figure he's just waiting to get inside the gate. Then I get a text pleading me not to leave and to just wait and I'm thinking it's only been a few seconds but she's probably packing a bag or something for a Christmas trip.

Then out a back alley a girl comes running to the car but she sees the guy and runs around to the driver's side of the car to get in. The guy sees her too and he bolts for my passenger side. I can immediately tell what's going on and unlock the doors as the girl reaches the car but she's too slow to get in and although I try to lock it as the guy is reaching for my rear passenger door my car doesn't lock. Unfortunately my car is keyless so it has a safety feature to not allow the doors to lock while any door is open in order to prevent someone accidentally leaving the key in the car and getting out and closing the door, thus locking the key inside.

Now I know some people might've just not unlocked the doors and let them fight it out amongst themselves but I recognized a girl literally running for her life away from an abusive relationship so I wasn't going to leave her stranded and planned on bolting the second she got in the car before even starting the trip, but unfortunately he got in too and things changed immediately.

Before she even said anything I was already yelling at him to get the hell out of the car but he wasn't even going to talk to me. Fortunately she started yelling at him to get out of the car too. Finally he started telling me that it was "cool" and that he was her boyfriend and just wanted to talk to her and I wasn't having it. I cut him off and told him point blank that she was my passenger, not him, and that she _clearly _didn't want him in the car so if he didn't get out I was going to call the cops and have him arrested for trespassing.

Now remarkably she then begged me not to call the cops and so I hesitated and he actually seemed for a second like he might get out but then I got the feeling that he thought I was kidding and he literally folded his arms like a child and said go ahead and call them. So I did.

Now while I was on the phone with the police dispatcher I think he really thought I was faking at first because I wasn't sure exactly where I was, what with the address replaced onscreen with the rider's name and the wait time. So I was fumbling with the zoom on Google Maps to get the street name to appear and I told the dispatcher that I was on "1-2-3-4... Budwin... I think?" Funnily enough _he_ corrected me and said "1234 Budweiser Lane" and so I relayed that to the dispatcher while double checking that it was in fact correct.

Then I started describing his appearance and that's when it dawned on him that I wasn't pretending. Then he started complaining to his girlfriend that _*she *was going to get *him *arrested because *she *refused to get out of the car!!!_ He really was blaming her for his actions, or inactions in not getting out of the damn car!

Finally he realized that he'd rather not be in the car when the cops arrived so he got out and ran inside the complex... But he took her purse with him. I was still on the phone with the dispatcher and relayed the whole thing and the girl unfortunately got out and followed him in screaming and drowning in tears the whole time.

As I described that the dispatcher assured me that police was still on their way to see if they could help her but she also said that it was in my best interest to leave the area now that both had exited so that if it escalated further I wouldn't be in harms way, and frankly she was right. I had no real obligation to this woman, I hadn't even started the trip and she was gone and probably not coming back. Even after cancelling she wouldn't be able to call another ride if the police couldn't find her as he had her phone in her purse, along with probably all her money, ID, and all of her belongings.

So I begrudgingly cancelled and started to pull out when I got completely boxed it by police.  I explained to them exactly what happened and they too told me that I should go and I did.

From that point on I have no real idea what happened. Did they go inside or just wait for me to leave before booking it themselves? Did they find her? Did they arrest him after all for anything? I don't know. And I probably never will know.

But I do know one thing: At least for one second she felt safe. Because I opened up the door.


----------



## Danny3xd (Nov 7, 2016)

Man. Rough one.


----------



## RDWRER (May 24, 2018)

Danny3xd said:


> Man. Rough one.


Yup. Never had one like it before.

Also I just realized that story was nowhere near short!


----------



## Danny3xd (Nov 7, 2016)

Not at all TLDR. Really RD.


----------



## ANT 7 (Oct 14, 2018)

I leave my shining armor at home when doing Uber.


----------



## Disgusted Driver (Jan 9, 2015)

You did right unfortunately she is still under his abusive power. Hopefully the cops for her out, you can only do so much as uber driver to the stars.


----------



## 1.5xorbust (Nov 22, 2017)

Yeah we don’t get paid enough for that kind of shit.


----------



## RDWRER (May 24, 2018)

ANT 7 said:


> I leave my shining armor at home when doing Uber.


But you're Bond! Your shining armor is always active.


----------



## Merc7186 (Jul 8, 2017)

That sucks that you have to go through that and especially for a cancellation fee.

On the other hand, the moment she started to plead with you to not call the cops, I would have bounced her to the curb then too. You cant help those who wont help themselves.


----------



## RDWRER (May 24, 2018)

Merc7186 said:


> That sucks that you have to go through that and especially for a cancellation fee.
> 
> On the other hand, the moment she started to plead with you to not call the cops, I would have bounced her to the curb then too. You cant help those who wont help themselves.


Well I got the feeling that she was implying "he would be getting out so please don't make it a big deal", but instead it just turned into "Get the #%^* out before it becomes a big deal!"


----------



## mrpjfresh (Aug 16, 2016)

Merc7186 said:


> You cant help those who wont help themselves.


Indeed. We have a name for people who drag other innocent bystanders needlessly into their drama: a-holes. And, I absolutely _guarantee_ you, had you (the OP) not controlled yourself in a calm manner, you would have created a unit of 2 against _you_. If it comes down to telling the cops what happened (for drivers reading and operating without a dash cam), who do you think she is going to side with and possibly lie for?

I would probably have taken things one step further and called the response line or at least sent a "rider unsafe" ticket in. It was fortunate this guy was not a violent drunk or had a weapon. I still consider it driver endangerment though and think this should be reported for the safety of other drivers.

By the way, I did laugh hysterically picturing this loser first pouting like a 5 year old refusing dinner then snatching her purse and running away into the darkness like a little street urchin.


----------



## IthurstwhenIP (Jan 12, 2018)

Yeah. My doors remain locked. Trying to play get away driver just puts you in the game to run over a foot or something. In the end she will go back to him and they will both testify against you


----------



## tohunt4me (Nov 23, 2015)

RDWRER said:


> So hopefully I can keep this story short.
> 
> Basically I pulled up to a gated apartment complex on an address, something like 1234 Budweiser Lane (neither the actual address nor street), and I see a guy standing outside that at first I think might be my passenger but he doesn't come anywhere near the car and the name is a girl's so I figure he's just waiting to get inside the gate. Then I get a text pleading me not to leave and to just wait and I'm thinking it's only been a few seconds but she's probably packing a bag or something for a Christmas trip.
> 
> ...


Cops HATE DOMESTIC CALLS.

THEY MAY BE KILLING EACH OTHER
WHEN YOU DRIVE UP.

YET THE WILL BOTH TURN ON YOU !



Merc7186 said:


> That sucks that you have to go through that and especially for a cancellation fee.
> 
> On the other hand, the moment she started to plead with you to not call the cops, I would have bounced her to the curb then too. You cant help those who wont help themselves.


AMEN !



RDWRER said:


> But you're Bond! Your shining armor is always active.


Real KNIGHTS have rusty armor
Full of dents
And blood stains.


----------



## UberBastid (Oct 1, 2016)

ANT 7 said:


> I leave my shining armor at home when doing Uber.


Amen brother ant.
Do you know the most hated (and dangerous) call a cop can get?
Yup, domestic abuse.

Cop rolls up, asks the woman with the fat lip what happened ... she points to the old man, "He hit me."
Cop says "Put your hands behind your back, you're under arrest" to the guy.
She says, "Don't touch my husband." Pulls a gun out and shoots the cop.
Happens a _lot_.

I don't get involved in a disagreement between two adults. She is there getting her ass beat because she likes it that way - or she'd be gone. He's there beating her ass because he likes it that way - or he'd be gone. It is mutually agreed upon combat. Women want equality - fine hunny, you _got _it.

I don't judge other people's relationships. And, I don't get involved in them.


----------



## SEAL Team 5 (Dec 19, 2015)

So, besides being visually upset was the girl displaying any evidence of physical abuse? When the guy was in the back of your car did he physically threaten or physically harm her in anyway? Or was this just your typical white trash apartment boyfriend/girlfriend drunken hateful argument that I see on Live PD every week?


----------



## LAbDog65 (Nov 29, 2016)

Merc7186 said:


> That sucks that you have to go through that and especially for a cancellation fee.
> 
> On the other hand, the moment she started to plead with you to not call the cops, I would have bounced her to the curb then too. You cant help those who wont help themselves.


Yes, as soon as she said no cops, it was almost a sure bet she would be back with him very shortly and she would have been tossed. As a female, I have no sympathy for those who continually go back and "forgive" their abusers.


----------



## SEAL Team 5 (Dec 19, 2015)

UberBastid said:


> She is there getting her ass beat because she likes it that way - or she'd be gone. He's there beating her ass because he likes it that way - or he'd be gone. It is mutually agreed upon combat. Women want equality - fine hunny, you _got _it.


Thats the kick me dog syndrome. One of your relatives has a little piece of crap dog that attacks you when you go over their home. Every time you kick that mutt and it goes sliding across the kitchen floor the damn dog runs back to you wagging its tail.


----------



## JimKE (Oct 28, 2016)

You handled a touchy and potentially dangerous situation just fine. Any of us can second-guess from the comfort and safety of a computer keyboard, but nobody got hurt and you did the right thing.


----------



## jgiun1 (Oct 16, 2017)

ANT 7 said:


> I leave my shining armor at home when doing Uber.


I leave my pride

Hate to say this, but some women deserve what they get for not moving on from these dudes.!!


----------



## Alexxx_Uber (Sep 3, 2018)

Our task is to take pax from A to B points. 
Nothing else is needed. As soon as you see weird things, just cancel and leave. Period.


----------



## crowuber (Feb 16, 2018)

I would have just displayed the electricity from my stun gun and told both losers to leave immediately. Works everytime with the angry drunks..... zero patience anymore along with zero ****s given anymore


----------



## Danny3xd (Nov 7, 2016)

JimKE said:


> You handled a touchy and potentially dangerous situation just fine. Any of us can second-guess from the comfort and safety of a computer keyboard, but nobody got hurt and you did the right thing.


I agree, Jim.

+1


----------



## steveK2016 (Jul 31, 2016)

SEAL Team 5 said:


> So, besides being visually upset was the girl displaying any evidence of physical abuse? When the guy was in the back of your car did he physically threaten or physically harm her in anyway? Or was this just your typical white trash apartment boyfriend/girlfriend drunken hateful argument that I see on Live PD every week?


I was thinking the same. Sounds like just boyfriend girlfriend drama to me not abusive. Its one thing if she looked like she got punched in the face a few times and if he was grabbing for her while in the car but from the description, he might have been caught cheating and they were having a fight, which is relativrly common and not necessarily an abusive relationship.


----------



## stpetej (Jul 3, 2017)

RDWRER said:


> So hopefully I can keep this story short.
> 
> Basically I pulled up to a gated apartment complex on an address, something like 1234 Budweiser Lane (neither the actual address nor street), and I see a guy standing outside that at first I think might be my passenger but he doesn't come anywhere near the car and the name is a girl's so I figure he's just waiting to get inside the gate. Then I get a text pleading me not to leave and to just wait and I'm thinking it's only been a few seconds but she's probably packing a bag or something for a Christmas trip.
> 
> ...


Bless you. Absolutely, you did the right thing. If you'd taken no action, however, that would have been justified. It was a dangerous situation. Years ago I volunteered at an abused women's (not sure why they are tagged as such. Men are abused, too.) shelter. I taught anger-management to all-male classes. But I had to quit the teaching part as it made me too angry.

It's typical for the victim to protect the abuser - why she asked you not to call the police, followed him back in. The abused will, on average, leave seven times before it sticks. If she/he lives that long.

But my training went out the window recently when I learned someone I love is in a domestic violence situation. I got involved, "rescued, got hurt, then finally detatached. I posted about it on this forum because, unbeknownst to me, police had responded seventeen times in the past 10 months and the dispatcher told me to "call an Uber" for my friend.

Too long, I know. But you are a hero in my eyes.


----------



## Christinebitg (Jun 29, 2018)

jgiun1 said:


> Hate to say this, but some women deserve what they get for not moving on from these D-bag dudes.!!


You are not just wrong, you are very, very wrong.

Look, I get it. I helped a friend of a friend move out from an abusive relationship. Who then moved back in a week later.

But nobody deserves domestic viokence, no matter what.


----------



## I_Like_Spam (May 10, 2015)

You should really have put the man out of your car yourself, and not relied on the coppers to do your dirty work for you. The police don't want to get involved in this.

When I took my cab training, the instructor Lou was 5 foot two, and demonstrated how to bend an unwanted passenger's fingers and persuade them to leave. Even if the pax is much bigger.


----------



## RDWRER (May 24, 2018)

I_Like_Spam said:


> You should really have put the man out of your car yourself, and not relied on the coppers to do your dirty work for you. The police don't want to get involved in this.
> 
> When I took my cab training, the instructor Lou was 5 foot two, and demonstrated how to bend an unwanted passenger's fingers and persuade them to leave. Even if the pax is much bigger.


Quickest way to get deactivated, sued, and maybe even arrested... 



SEAL Team 5 said:


> So, besides being visually upset was the girl displaying any evidence of physical abuse? When the guy was in the back of your car did he physically threaten or physically harm her in anyway? Or was this just your typical white trash apartment boyfriend/girlfriend drunken hateful argument that I see on Live PD every week?


Black, as if it matters. And he harmed her by stalking her, threatening her, and not letting her leave. He also physically took her purse if you missed that part.


----------



## AnotherUberGuy (Oct 26, 2018)

Mixed feelings. Who knows how long it took for this girl to collect the courage to pack a bag and call an Uber and try to leave. Hopefully she will try again. 

OTOH, thank the Lord this guy didn't have a gun, who knows what might've happened. Good on you for doing what I consider to be the right thing.


----------



## Danny3xd (Nov 7, 2016)

stpetej said:


> Bless you. Absolutely, you did the right thing. If you'd taken no action, however, that would have been justified. It was a dangerous situation. Years ago I volunteered at an abused women's (not sure why they are tagged as such. Men are abused, too.) shelter. I taught anger-management to all-male classes. But I had to quit the teaching part as it made me too angry.
> 
> It's typical for the victim to protect the abuser - why she asked you not to call the police, followed him back in. The abused will, on average, leave seven times before it sticks. If she/he lives that long.
> 
> ...


Not at all too long, Stpe.

+1


----------



## UberBastid (Oct 1, 2016)

Christinebitg said:


> But nobody deserves domestic violence, no matter what.


What if its what she wants? Shouldn't she get what she wants? Isn't this a free country?
I know a guy that 's really into S&M. Bondage, pain, all that stuff. Should we (as a society) stop him from that behavior? He'd not hurting anyone but him. If I want to consume a fifth of Vodka a day, I'm not hurting anyone other than me - why can't I do what I want? If I want to smoke crack ... why shouldn't I be able to. I'm not hurting anyone other than me. It's my body.

Where do we draw the line?



AnotherUberGuy said:


> OTOH, thank the Lord this guy didn't have a gun, who knows what might've happened. Good on you for doing what I consider to be the right thing.


Yea, _what if_ he had a gun. Then OP would be dead, his wife and kids would be without him, and for what ...
Good on him for risking his life for someone who LIKES THE SITUATION SHE IS IN. Really?
If MY wife found out I did something like that she'd beat my ass. (But then, I like our abusive relationship, lol.)


----------



## SEAL Team 5 (Dec 19, 2015)

RDWRER said:


> Black, as if it matters.


Then you should have used 1234 Hennessy as the fictitious address.


----------



## Disgusted Driver (Jan 9, 2015)

UberBastid said:


> What if its what she wants? Shouldn't she get what she wants? Isn't this a free country?
> I know a guy that 's really into S&M. Bondage, pain, all that stuff. Should we (as a society) stop him from that behavior? He'd not hurting anyone but him. If I want to consume a fifth of Vodka a day, I'm not hurting anyone other than me - why can't I do what I want? If I want to smoke crack ... why shouldn't I be able to. I'm not hurting anyone other than me. It's my body.
> 
> Where do we draw the line?


I'm only able to surmise what I can from the evidence given. With that said there's a big difference between a bdsm relationship and domestic abuse. I assume this is domestic abuse because someone else was involved in her asking for help and attempting to get away. in abdsm relationship they aren't going to involve strangers to try to get away, maybe to help discipline but not to get away.


----------



## Danny3xd (Nov 7, 2016)

Disgusted Driver said:


> I'm only able to surmise what I can from the evidence given. With that said there's a big difference between a bdsm relationship and domestic abuse. I assume this is domestic abuse because someone else was involved in her asking for help and attempting to get away. in abdsm relationship they aren't going to involve strangers to try to get away, maybe to help discipline but not to get away.


Yes. I was gonna say you could tell by the crying and asking for help.

I know an abusive relationship is really hard for the victims to get away from. So it's easy to say it's the victim's fault. But that's part of the party. The victim gets to the point that feel they are as lowly and unwanted as the abuser trys to make them feel.

They, the abuser disarms the victim. They, the victim then is truly unable to revolt for long.

Trapped. Just what the low life wants.

Blaming the victim helps with the way the abuser gets over and makes the victim even more unable to keep courage enough to escape.

Words have power. I greatly enjoy any time someone uses them to be of help to others.


----------



## stpetej (Jul 3, 2017)

Danny3xd said:


> Yes. I was gonna say you could tell by the crying and asking for help.
> 
> I know an abusive relationship is really hard for the victims to get away from. So it's easy to say it's the victim's fault. But that's part of the party. The victim gets to the point that feel they are as lowly and unwanted as the abuser trys to make them feel.
> 
> ...


You get it. Thank you for the post!


----------



## goneubering (Aug 17, 2017)

RDWRER said:


> So hopefully I can keep this story short.
> 
> Basically I pulled up to a gated apartment complex on an address, something like 1234 Budweiser Lane (neither the actual address nor street), and I see a guy standing outside that at first I think might be my passenger but he doesn't come anywhere near the car and the name is a girl's so I figure he's just waiting to get inside the gate. Then I get a text pleading me not to leave and to just wait and I'm thinking it's only been a few seconds but she's probably packing a bag or something for a Christmas trip.
> 
> ...


That's one of the wildest stories I've ever read on UP. I hope she's now free from the crazy guy.


----------



## Red Leader (Sep 4, 2016)

I_Like_Spam said:


> You should really have put the man out of your car yourself, and not relied on the coppers to do your dirty work for you. The police don't want to get involved in this.
> 
> When I took my cab training, the instructor Lou was 5 foot two, and demonstrated how to bend an unwanted passenger's fingers and persuade them to leave. Even if the pax is much bigger.


this is exactly what the police are for.


----------



## UberBastid (Oct 1, 2016)

Red Leader said:


> this is exactly what the police are for.


What part of the Bay Area do _you _live in that the cops will arrive in time to take care of that for you? Lafayette? Walnut Creek? Black Hawk?
NOT East Oakland, Palo Alto, Richmond, Vallejo.

It all depends.
Some of us live and work in an area where the cops respond to a shooting ... in fifteen minutes. An Uber driver with a complaint? LoL. Won't get past the 911 dispatch. She has an armed robbery in progress, a felony hit run, two bar brawls and a man with a gun and a medical call where a female is having a baby on a park bench ... and a cop is asking for back up.

It's all about perspective, isn't it?


----------



## Christinebitg (Jun 29, 2018)

UberBastid said:


> What part of the Bay Area do _you _live in that the cops will arrive in time to take care of that for you?


If the alternative is trying to eject a hostile and abusive man from my car, I'll wait for those guys in uniforms to show up.

I know that has risks too. We don't live in a perfect world.


----------



## bostonwolf (Mar 25, 2016)

1.5xorbust said:


> Yeah we don't get paid enough for that kind of shit.


Sometimes life is about doing the right thing, not getting paid.


----------



## 1.5xorbust (Nov 22, 2017)

bostonwolf said:


> Sometimes life is about doing the right thing, not getting paid.


Yeah sometimes it is.


----------



## chitownXdriver (Dec 24, 2014)

I've had a couple of these situations, the first time she gets in and says just drive! So I took off then I saw the drunk guy trying to run after the car. The second time they both got in under her account, (bf was unsurprisingly visiting from Florida, land of the crazies) they were fine but starting arguing in the car, he started hitting her! I had to kick his ass to the curb and dropped her to her mom's house, she told me on the way that he knows she's going to her mom's and where she lives so after the trip I called the cops and told them what I experienced.


----------



## hogan1974 (Jul 30, 2015)

And I bet no tip


----------



## Crosbyandstarsky (Feb 4, 2018)

RDWRER said:


> So hopefully I can keep this story short.
> 
> Basically I pulled up to a gated apartment complex on an address, something like 1234 Budweiser Lane (neither the actual address nor street), and I see a guy standing outside that at first I think might be my passenger but he doesn't come anywhere near the car and the name is a girl's so I figure he's just waiting to get inside the gate. Then I get a text pleading me not to leave and to just wait and I'm thinking it's only been a few seconds but she's probably packing a bag or something for a Christmas trip.
> 
> ...


Is this about you?


----------



## Danny3xd (Nov 7, 2016)

bostonwolf said:


> Sometimes life is about doing the right thing, not getting paid.


+1, 100%

Ayup



chitownXdriver said:


> I've had a couple of these situations, the first time she gets in and says just drive! So I took off then I saw the drunk guy trying to run after the car. The second time they both got in under her account, (bf was unsurprisingly visiting from Florida, land of the crazies) they were fine but starting arguing in the car, he started hitting her! I had to kick his ass to the curb and dropped her to her mom's house, she told me on the way that he knows she's going to her mom's and where she lives so after the trip I called the cops and told them what I experienced.


You rock CTown!


----------



## Immoralized (Nov 7, 2017)

Don't get paid enough to deal with domestic BS. Kick both out and let friends/family deal with it. I'm just out to drive for a few bucks. I'm not a relationship councilor and if that what they want they can go and pay for one.  No way am I going to deal with two people having a punch on in the back of the car doesn't matter if it the guy or in some cases the girl hitting the guy.


----------



## Slim Pete (Nov 21, 2014)

RDWRER said:


> So hopefully I can keep this story short.
> 
> Basically I pulled up to a gated apartment complex on an address, something like 1234 Budweiser Lane (neither the actual address nor street), and I see a guy standing outside that at first I think might be my passenger but he doesn't come anywhere near the car and the name is a girl's so I figure he's just waiting to get inside the gate. Then I get a text pleading me not to leave and to just wait and I'm thinking it's only been a few seconds but she's probably packing a bag or something for a Christmas trip.
> 
> ...


I didn't even bother reading the entire story, but if it was me, I would just cancel the ride and get the F out.

We aren't compensated enough to deal with this BS.

What if her boyfriend pulled a gun on you? You think the girl would care, she wouldn't give two hoots.


----------



## Immoralized (Nov 7, 2017)

Slim Pete said:


> I didn't even bother reading the entire story, but if it was me, I would just cancel the ride and get the F out.
> 
> We aren't compensated enough to deal with this BS.
> 
> What if her boyfriend pulled a gun on you? You think the girl would care, she wouldn't give two hoots.


Gun, knife or the old fashion fist. It always best to leave private matters private. Nothing good ever comes out of sticking ones head into someone else personnel affairs.

If she wanted to call the police she could of called the police instead of ordering Uber  The fact is she was just having a lover quarrel and it usually happens 4-7 days of every month like clockwork at least in my house hold on that time of the month.


----------



## Slim Pete (Nov 21, 2014)

bostonwolf said:


> Sometimes life is about doing the right thing, not getting paid.


A very stoopid thing to say. Why would you give a rat's ass about sumbitch who probably enjoys being in an abusive relationship? If it's a child victim, then yes I agree, we should intervene, but if it's a grown ass woman, who the hell cares? Let her deal with her own problems.


----------



## Immoralized (Nov 7, 2017)

Slim Pete said:


> A very stoopid thing to say. Why would you give a rat's ass about sumbitch who probably enjoys being in an abusive relationship? If it's a child victim, then yes I agree, we should intervene, but if it's a grown ass woman, who the hell cares? Let her deal with her own problems.


Maybe a lot of these drivers are working on becoming social service workers and been Uber/Lyft drivers during their study period 

More seriously though... Rideshare drivers are not equipped or insured to deal with these kind of situation as it opens up the driver to possible charges. $5 fare isn't worth going to court either as a defendant or witness or even getting into a violent alteration. Were not security guards.

You can bet ur bottom dollar if the boyfriend is going to lay assault charges on you she is going to be witness against you and holding hands with her lover. Even if he throws the first punch it 2 people word against 1 and the judge will most likely ask why you the driver getting involved in someone else private life? Either way it just looks like the driver becomes the ultimate aggressor 

Deactivation comes swiftly and charges quite possibly laid just as quickly just because the driver wanted to look good in front of someone else's woman. In just a couple of minutes someone life could be turn upside down. Worst come to worst she may even say the driver was provoking him. No good deed goes unpunished?  That should be every rideshare driver dashboard sticker.


----------



## Christinebitg (Jun 29, 2018)

Slim Pete said:


> Why would you give a rat's ass about sumbitch who probably enjoys being in an abusive relationship? If it's a child victim, then yes I agree, we should intervene, but if it's a grown ass woman, who the hell cares?


Let me see if I have this right.

You think that women enjoy being in abusive relationships, right?

And that because she's an adult, she should have to deal with this on her own, right?

Have I summarized your positions correctly?


----------



## Slim Pete (Nov 21, 2014)

Christinebitg said:


> Let me see if I have this right.
> 
> You think that women enjoy being in abusive relationships, right?
> 
> ...


If she wasn't okay with it, she could have left him.
She's an adult, she can fend for herself. An ordinary Uber driver who makes less than minimum wage doesn't have to risk his life trying to save her.

Cops risk their lives trying to save people every day, but they are paid handsomely for it. Cops in my area easily make $120,000 a year when you include OT. Plus they have very decent life insurance policies should anything go wrong. What do we have?

What if her boyfriend really was crazy, and he pulled out a knife, Oregon? Or even if he punched the driver in the head with his fists? Do you know, that one really hard blow to the temple area can cause internal bleeding and result in death? A single blow?

Why should we sub minimum wage slaves, foolishly risk our lives, trying to save some "damsel in distress"? This ain't Titanic. This is the real world.

If the crazy boyfriend gets into a fight with the driver, and blows are exchanged, and both end up arrested, whose side do you think the girlfriend will take? The boyfriends side or the driver side?

Common Sense will tell you she will take her boyfriend's side, no matter how much he abuses her, simply because once she sniffs the $$$$ that will come from Uber corporate, as compensation for being "assaulted".

The driver ends up getting banned for life, and possibly a criminal record, while the girl and her boyfriend make some quick easy cash.


----------



## cdm813 (Jan 9, 2017)

Alexxx_Uber said:


> Our task is to take pax from A to B points.
> Nothing else is needed. As soon as you see weird things, just cancel and leave. Period.


There becomes a moral dilemma though, right? If you aren't an Uber/Lyft driver and you saw a girl in physical trouble, don't you have some sort of moral obligation to help?


----------



## RDWRER (May 24, 2018)

Immoralized said:


> Were not security guards.


I am actually, just not when I'm doing Uber.


----------



## Slim Pete (Nov 21, 2014)

cdm813 said:


> There becomes a moral dilemma though, right? If you aren't an Uber/Lyft driver and you saw a girl in physical trouble, don't you have some sort of moral obligation to help?


If you're willing to die, then sure, go ahead. Nobody's stopping you.

https://www.nj.com/hudson/index.ssf...th_early_morning_murder_at_downtown_deli.html

Just be sure you know the risks.


----------



## cdm813 (Jan 9, 2017)

Slim Pete said:


> If you're willing to die, then sure, go ahead. Nobody's stopping you.
> 
> https://www.nj.com/hudson/index.ssf...th_early_morning_murder_at_downtown_deli.html
> 
> Just be sure you know the risks.


We ****ing drive rideshare - of course we know risk.


----------



## Alexxx_Uber (Sep 3, 2018)

cdm813 said:


> There becomes a moral dilemma though, right? If you aren't an Uber/Lyft driver and you saw a girl in physical trouble, don't you have some sort of moral obligation to help?


Who would feed your family if anything happened to you?


----------



## cdm813 (Jan 9, 2017)

Alexxx_Uber said:


> Who would feed your family if anything happened to you?


My wife and my life insurance policy.


----------



## Alexxx_Uber (Sep 3, 2018)

cdm813 said:


> My wife and my life insurance policy.


Sure ... I don't know what else to say. But I think of it as difference in people regarding taking risks. There are people who risk their lives for others. Well, I'm not one of them. Call me coward or whatever, I don't really care...


----------



## welikecamping (Nov 27, 2018)

wow. Being a rideshare driver does not exclude one from being a gentleman. Or a lady. Or just a human being. You don't get a free pass. Ever.


----------



## Another Uber Driver (May 27, 2015)

Merc7186 said:


> That sucks that you have to go through that and especially for a cancellation fee.
> On the other hand, the moment she started to plead with you to not call the cops, I would have bounced her to the curb then too. You cant help those who wont help themselves.


This is not uncommon in abusive relationships. The abused wants the police to pull the abuser off the abused, but, when the abused realises the consequences, said abused does not want them.



stpetej said:


> It's typical for the victim to protect the abuser - why she asked you not to call the police, followed him back in. The abused will, on average, leave seven times before it sticks. *If she/he lives that long*..


(emphasis added)

It is sad, but it happens all the time. You can not understand why the abused goes back to the abuser. You can advance any theory that you will, but, it will not make the abuser see the proper course of action: GET AWAY! As you correctly observe, it takes several tries before the escape is complete, and, even then, half the time, the escape is not complete. The abused must get STAY AWAY orders, which, of course, the abuser does not respect. Even if the abuser posts a Peace Bond, half the time that is no deterrence, even if it is substantial. The results of that are disastrous; hence my emphasis.

Even in jail,many abusers are heroes. It is not often that Bubba tells the abuser "You hit girls? Let's see how you like it when I make a girl out of you and hit you."



I_Like_Spam said:


> You should really have put the man out of your car yourself, and not relied on the coppers to do your dirty work for you. The police don't want to get involved in this..


I do not know about Pittsburgh, but, if you lay a hand on a passenger in the Capital of Your Nation, you are looking at civil and criminal proceedings. In fact, half the time when you try to defend yourself, here, they let walk the guy who attacked you and pack you off to the hoosegow.



RDWRER said:


> Quickest way to get deactivated, sued, and maybe even *arrested*


(emphasis added)

FIFY


----------



## rob glen (Aug 11, 2015)

Red Leader said:


> this is exactly what the police are for.


Agreed! they get paid to deal with this stuff. But good call trying to lock the doors.


----------



## goneubering (Aug 17, 2017)

RDWRER said:


> So hopefully I can keep this story short.
> 
> Basically I pulled up to a gated apartment complex on an address, something like 1234 Budweiser Lane (neither the actual address nor street), and I see a guy standing outside that at first I think might be my passenger but he doesn't come anywhere near the car and the name is a girl's so I figure he's just waiting to get inside the gate. Then I get a text pleading me not to leave and to just wait and I'm thinking it's only been a few seconds but she's probably packing a bag or something for a Christmas trip.
> 
> ...


How long have you been Ubering?


----------



## Christinebitg (Jun 29, 2018)

Slim Pete said:


> If she wasn't okay with it, she could have left him.
> She's an adult, she can fend for herself.


Yes, she is.

But it's still completely and totally inappropriate for you to say she deserves it.

Nobody deserves it.


----------



## UberBastid (Oct 1, 2016)

Christinebitg said:


> Yes, she is.
> 
> But it's still completely and totally inappropriate for you to say she deserves it.
> 
> Nobody deserves it.


She deserves what she wants.
She wants it - so, she is getting what she wants.
Good for her.

_I saw her today at the reception
In her glass was a bleeding man
She was practiced at the art of deception
I could tell by her blood-stained hands

You can't always get what you want
You can't always get what you want
You can't always get what you want
But if you try sometimes you just might find
You just might find
You get what you need_


----------



## Christinebitg (Jun 29, 2018)

UberBastid said:


> She deserves what she wants.
> She wants it - so, she is getting what she wants.


And does your wife feel the same way?

That women deserve to be mistreated if they don't do what they need to do to avoid it?

Let me put this a different way. If you drive for Uber at night, there's an increased risk that you might get mugged in a bad part of town. Now let's say that happens to you. And let's take this a step further... that you keep driving, and it happens again.

Do you deserve that? Maybe you think so. I don't.


----------



## Immoralized (Nov 7, 2017)

Christinebitg said:


> And does your wife feel the same way?
> 
> That women deserve to be mistreated if they don't do what they need to do to avoid it?
> 
> ...


Rideshare drivers are not equipped to deal with domestic violence and a number exist for help. 1-800-799-7233

They neither have the training, experience or resources to do so. OP was asking what he should of done and opinion is split that he should or shouldn't of done more but drivers are just drivers and not really anything a driver can actually do but drive rider A2B. Anything more that up to the driver discretion.

Really shouldn't be any expectation that a driver putting themselves in harms way if he or she doesn't want to and just want to get on with the job of earning a few dollars. Especially when the situation can get out of hand and quite possibly deactivation when things do go bad. The victim has to want help been male or female. If they do not want help nothing you or I or that other thread member can do about that.

*https://www.thehotline.org/resources/statistics/*
*Get the Facts & Figures*
The statistics on this page have been compiled from various sources.

*GENERAL*
On average, 24 people per minute are victims of rape, physical violence or stalking by an intimate partner in the United States - more than 12 million women and men over the course of a year.
_Nearly 3 in 10 women (29%) and 1 in 10 men (10%) in the US have experienced rape, physical violence and/or stalking by a partner and report a related impact on their< functioning.[ii]
Nearly, 15% of women (14.8%) and 4% of men have been injured as a result of IPV that included rape, physical violence and/or stalking by an intimate partner in their lifetime.[iii]
1 in 4 women (24.3%) and 1 in 7 men (13.8%) aged 18 and older in the United States have been the victim of severe physical violence by an intimate partner in their lifetime.[iv]
IPV alone affects more than 12 million people each year.[v]
More than 1 in 3 women (35.6%) and more than 1 in 4 men (28.5%) in the United States have experienced rape, physical violence and/or stalking by an intimate partner in their lifetime.[vi]
Nearly half of all women and men in the United States have experienced psychological aggression by an intimate partner in their lifetime (48.4% and 48.8%, respectively).[vii]
Females ages 18 to 24 and 25 to 34 generally experienced the highest rates of intimate partner violence.[viii]
From 1994 to 2010, about 4 in 5 victims of intimate partner violence were female.[ix]
Most female victims of intimate partner violence were previously victimized by the same offender, including 77% of females ages 18 to 24, 76% of females ages 25 to 34, and 81% of females ages 35 to 49.[x]_


----------



## welikecamping (Nov 27, 2018)

The fear is great in this thread.


----------



## UberBastid (Oct 1, 2016)

Christinebitg said:


> And does your wife feel the same way?
> 
> That women deserve to be mistreated if they don't do what they need to do to avoid it?
> 
> ...


I don't drive nights because I deserve better. 
I am not willing to take the risk of being beaten for less than minimum wage.
Everybody makes their own decisions; and we _deserve _to do so., because we are free people. 
If passengers beat me once a week - I wouldn't do this job. They don't.

It's not right that people get hit by cars ... but if they play on the freeway - maybe they deserve it.
People don't deserve getting snake bit .... but if they torment the snake ... well, you get the idea...

Yes, my wife feels the same way.

She wanted a kind and gentle person who would love and cherish her.
She made it clear early in our relationship that she was not willing to settle for anything less.
She got it. She deserved it. 
JUST what she wanted.

Yes, I deserve it too.
I deserve the passionate and hard-working life-long partner that I got.
I made it clear early in our relationship that I was not willing to settle for anything else.
I worked for it - I got it.
Thanks.

We don't hit each other; well, other than that time she paddled my butt pink and called me 'Nancy', but then ... I deserved it. I was a bad boy.


----------



## Christinebitg (Jun 29, 2018)

UberBastid said:


> Everybody makes their own decisions; and we _deserve _to do so., because we are free people.


I agree that we deserve to make our own decisions on that. And to be responsible for the results of them.

Not that that answered the question, though.


----------



## goneubering (Aug 17, 2017)

I’ve had three similar situations. One time I had to call the cops. One time my threat to call the cops resolved the problem. And one time the lady who was being hit made up with the guy and they went on their way.


----------



## Faretoall (Jul 5, 2016)

Don't get involved in domestic squabbles. Women are not children and can leave a POS that beats them without any white knights or do gooders.getting involved if they so desire. Women initiate more domestic assaults than men do. If the parties don't stay away from each other. I think they deserve it too.


----------



## stpetej (Jul 3, 2017)

goneubering said:


> I've had three similar situations. One time I had to call the cops. One time my threat to call the cops resolved the problem. And one time the lady who was being hit made up with the guy and they went on their way.


I'm so sorry this happened to you. Stay safe!


----------



## goneubering (Aug 17, 2017)

stpetej said:


> I'm so sorry this happened to you. Stay safe!


It's all good. I believe it's the right thing to protect those who are being abused but as several posters have warned it's also possible for the situation to explode in unexpected dangerous ways. Each of us must weigh the risks and act accordingly.

This is an important topic. It should be a Featured thread.


----------



## Christinebitg (Jun 29, 2018)

Faretoall said:


> Women initiate more domestic assaults than men do.


Source for that, please?


----------



## ECOMCON (Dec 30, 2018)

Christinebitg said:


> Source for that, please?


Penthouse Forum


----------



## RDWRER (May 24, 2018)

Immoralized said:


> Rideshare drivers are not equipped to deal with domestic violence and a number exist for help. 1-800-799-7233
> 
> They neither have the training, experience or resources to do so. OP was asking what he should of done and opinion is split that he should or shouldn't of done more but drivers are just drivers and not really anything a driver can actually do but drive rider A2B. Anything more that up to the driver discretion.
> 
> ...


I wasn't asking anything. I just posted my story. That's kinda why it's in Stories and not Advice.


----------



## Immoralized (Nov 7, 2017)

RDWRER said:


> I wasn't asking anything. I just posted my story. That's kinda why it's in Stories and not Advice.


Oh gotcha it just a "story". 
tag me on ur next story 

I had a similar story about 11 months ago only thing was she wasn't crying or making a scene and probably just a break up or something. She got in the car and about to close the door when her boyfriend grabbed the door and opened it now standing next to the passenger side of the car in such a way that I couldn't do much.

Was pretty p!ssed off that I can't drive so I got out of the car and told him you better move away from the car right now. In which case he turns around and said she my girlfriend I'm just talking to her. Good thing for her she got out and said okay you can leave as the guy clearly wasn't going to let her leave and I was about to clock the guy out because he was been a d!ck touching my car  He was clearly sh!tting his pants but I wasn't to hit him if he wasn't going to move, I was just about to tell them both to leave.

Thankfully they both left and i got my cancel fee and went off my merry way to the next trip. I never understood why girls always go for the crazy guys that don't understand the meaning of no leave me alone and always cave in to them when they force them to stay. But hey that is what they love and if that what they love then I cannot judge them for what they love. I only desire that they leave me out of that mess 

Would of been better if they both got in the car like you had in ur situation... Could of just driven both of them to the destination  I had this one idiot holding onto my door with both his hands and arms shouting don't touch me she my girlfriend and we just talking can't you see?


----------



## HotUberMess (Feb 25, 2018)

UberBastid said:


> I don't drive nights because I deserve better.
> I am not willing to take the risk of being beaten for less than minimum wage.
> Everybody makes their own decisions; and we _deserve _to do so., because we are free people.
> If passengers beat me once a week - I wouldn't do this job. They don't.
> ...


A legend in your own mind lmao


----------



## Christinebitg (Jun 29, 2018)

Immoralized said:


> I never understood why girls always go for the crazy guys that don't understand the meaning of no leave me alone and always cave in to them when they force them to stay.


Because the stable ones (male and female) don't have scenes like that.

If a person is used to having a lot of drama in his or her life, it'll feel somewhat normal. Some of us regular folks wouldn't ever get to that point. He's dumped before that scene ever has a chance to occur.

The girls' network helps too. "Stay away from that guy, he's trouble."


----------



## UberBastid (Oct 1, 2016)

HotUberMess said:


> A legend in your own mind lmao


which is where it belongs ...


----------



## KK2929 (Feb 9, 2017)

IMO, assuming that the relationship is abusive is a mistake. Unless she comes out bleeding and bruised. Some people love to add drama to a relationship. The fact that she begged you to NOT call the cops, tells me she is playing a game with the boyfriend.
I worked as a bartender for many years and the behavior of some people is just outrageous.
If I had gotten that call, I would have ask them both to leave the car.  Domestic calls for the police are the most dangerous. You as the driver could have gotten hurt or killed. She is a big girl. You are not her protector. Take care of yourself first. You had good intentions but not the training nor experience to handle the situation.
While you are talking to the cops, those two have kissed, made up and are in bed having hot sex.


----------



## RDWRER (May 24, 2018)

KK2929 said:


> IMO, assuming that the relationship is abusive is a mistake. Unless she comes out bleeding and bruised. Some people love to add drama to a relationship. The fact that she begged you to NOT call the cops, tells me she is playing a game with the boyfriend.
> I worked as a bartender for many years and the behavior of some people is just outrageous.
> If I had gotten that call, I would have ask them both to leave the car. Domestic calls for the police are the most dangerous. You as the driver could have gotten hurt or killed. She is a big girl. You are not her protector. Take care of yourself first. You had good intentions but not the training nor experience to handle the situation.
> While you are talking to the cops, those two have kissed, made up and are in bed having hot sex.


Its a game! You could've gotten killed!

One terrible game then...


----------

