# Ticked Off. Seeking Revenge. (Delivery)



## Ms. Mercenary (Jul 24, 2020)

I need to mess with a low tipper. Been out since 10:03, only made a smidge over $15. That’s ONE trip. ONE. 

Out of dozens.

The pings that get to me the most are those super-wealthy buttholes on the beachfront who want me to bring them a light snack 12 miles for $5.

So I want to accept it. And then play phone games for 30 minutes before I cancel it.

Should I?

I really REALLY want to!


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## jaxbeachrides (May 27, 2015)

If you're multiapping, wait until you get a good one in the car and you're already enroute.

Then start accepting bad orders on the other apps.

Once you complete the good order, you can cancel the rest if they haven't already.

The key is to not tie your apps up with bad orders when you're actually in a position to take a good order.


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## Hexonxonx (Dec 11, 2019)

I’m doing this right now on a $2.50 McDonald’s trip on UberEats.


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## Hexonxonx (Dec 11, 2019)




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## Mad_Jack_Flint (Nov 19, 2020)

Best way to do it is take one from a fancy place that you would eat and then notify Uber the food spilled on the ground from poor packaging and have a free lunch while getting somewhat paid…


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## Alltel77 (Mar 3, 2019)

Mad_Jack_Flint said:


> Best way to do it is take one from a fancy place that you would eat and then notify Uber the food spilled on the ground from poor packaging and have a free lunch while getting somewhat paid…


If I was feeling malicious that is the route I'd go. The no tip customers don't care about waiting probably half of them get the order refunded after delivery anyways even if it is on time. The no tip no trip stuff is stupid because those orders are still picked up eventually many after just one decline and either stacked or with maybe another $1 added on as a single.


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## Invisible (Jun 15, 2018)

Nah, just decline the order or cancel if you already accepted it.


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## Emptynesst (6 mo ago)

Ms. Mercenary said:


> I need to mess with a low tipper. Been out since 10:03, only made a smidge over $15. That’s ONE trip. ONE.
> 
> Out of dozens.
> 
> ...


Revenge is not worth slashing their tires , well almost never worth it 😁


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## WI_Hedgehog (Aug 16, 2021)

Ms. Mercenary said:


> I need to mess with a low tipper. Been out since 10:03, only made a smidge over $15. That’s ONE trip. ONE. Out of dozens.
> 
> The pings that get to me the most are those super-wealthy buttholes on the beachfront who want me to bring them a light snack 12 miles for $5.


So UberEats typically marks up the price by 15%-25%. Out of that they have to pay their Internet fees, other operating costs, make a profit (ha ha ha), and pay drivers. The restaurant may have already marked up the menu items by 10% or 15% to cover the "hassle factor." So, given the price of the items, customers often figure drivers are paid pretty well, when in reality drivers are an afterthought.

Customers sometimes also figure with all this "computer optimization" and "mass strategy planning" that deliveries are stacked from multiple orders, like pizza delivery (5 to 15 orders per run). Add to that orders can be stacked from multiple places, and a lot of orders can fit in even a small car, so the driver is making some serious income! 

Therefore some people, instead of going to the kitchen and cooking their own quina, will "do you a favor" and add a small to-go order to your list of deliveries and you'll make almost pure profit on it. You're welcome.

In reality that's not at all the way it works, the system is really inefficient, and drivers' time is....face it, in today's society almost nobody cares about the driver. Seriously, you might as well be the sound guy in a movie production.



Spoiler: Audio Technition Joke



There's a brunette, redhead, and a blonde all trying out for a Broadway musical. The brunette says she's going to f**k the director to get the part because the director has all the power and will make her famous. The redhead says she's going to f**k the lighting guy because he is going to make her look amazing. The blonde says she is going to f**k the sound guy because everyone says, "F**k the sound guy!"


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## Ms. Mercenary (Jul 24, 2020)

Invisible said:


> Nah, just decline the order or cancel if you already accepted it.


But I wanna be petty!!! I’m actually asking for some future a-hole. Never did this, just really want to sometimes. Plus I have a few addresses I remember.


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## Rickos69 (Nov 8, 2018)

Ms. Mercenary said:


> But I wanna be petty!!! I’m actually asking for some future a-hole. Never did this, just really want to sometimes. Plus I have a few addresses I remember.


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## Invisible (Jun 15, 2018)

Ms. Mercenary said:


> But I wanna be petty!!! I’m actually asking for some future a-hole. Never did this, just really want to sometimes. Plus I have a few addresses I remember.


The way it sounds customers are now, you’ll be spending more time plotting & doing revenge than delivering.


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## Judge and Jury (Oct 19, 2019)

Hexonxonx said:


> I’m doing this right now on a $2.50 McDonald’s trip on UberEats.


Is that offer part of the LOP?

Oops, UE order.

Seems you make hundreds of bucks per day on DD LOP offers but you are delivering a $2.50 McDonalds offer?

Your credibility as a poster has been destroyed by your outrageous claims.

Go in Peace.


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## Judge and Jury (Oct 19, 2019)

Ms. Mercenary said:


> But I wanna be petty!!! I’m actually asking for some future a-hole. Never did this, just really want to sometimes. Plus I have a few addresses I remember.


Revenge is best served cold, so they say.

Either, 

Deliver their food cold,

Wait twenty years and place a firey bag of ice cold poop on their doorstep, or 

Kill them all, and let God sort it out.

By the way, those expensive houses employ lots of minimum wage personnel that may be ordering for themselves.

Please refrain from killing the household staff.

Better yet, for all involved, decline unprofitable offers.


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## Nats121 (Jul 19, 2017)

WI_Hedgehog said:


> So UberEats typically marks up the price by 15%-25%. Out of that they have to pay their Internet fees, other operating costs, make a profit (ha ha ha), and pay drivers. The restaurant may have already marked up the menu items by 10% or 15% to cover the "hassle factor." So, given the price of the items, customers often figure drivers are paid pretty well, when in reality drivers are an afterthought.
> 
> Customers sometimes also figure with all this "computer optimization" and "mass strategy planning" that deliveries are stacked from multiple orders, like pizza delivery (5 to 15 orders per run). Add to that orders can be stacked from multiple places, and a lot of orders can fit in even a small car, so the driver is making some serious income!
> 
> ...


The only time Eats "marks-up" orders is for place and pay orders from restaurants they don't have accounts with. 

The restaurants are the ones that mark-up the food prices to recoup some of the 30% fee that Uber charges them.

Most customers are charged a Delivery Fee and all are charged a 15% Service Fee. Uber charges most restaurants a whopping 30% Service Fee. They pay the drivers next to nothing. Put all that together and they're making plenty of money on our deliveries.


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## Hexonxonx (Dec 11, 2019)

Judge and Jury said:


> Is that offer part of the LOP?
> 
> Oops, UE order.
> 
> ...


I think you just made all this up. I don't claim to make hundreds a day. Last Friday I made $226 and I took Yesterday and Tuesday off. I've been making $500-600 a week because that's all I want to work, 3-4 days a week. I accepted that $2.50 order on UE and then cancelled it 30 minutes later at about 4pm before I went out to dash at 5,


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## Donatello (6 mo ago)

Ms. Mercenary said:


> I need to mess with a low tipper. Been out since 10:03, only made a smidge over $15. That’s ONE trip. ONE.
> 
> Out of dozens.
> 
> ...


Those orders get piled with good tippers and delivered, yes, I would say you guys need to do something about it.

Hold the order for 30 mins and cancel if you have the spare rate.

You can also lick their food or do crap to it, they deserve it, everyone deserves it, not just the rich.


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## Invisible (Jun 15, 2018)

Judge and Jury said:


> Kill them all, and let God sort it out.
> 
> By the way, those expensive houses employ lots of minimum wage personnel that may be ordering for themselves.
> 
> Please refrain from killing the household staff.


Interesting but twisted point of view. If ya ever get banned, a new profile name for you could be the Executioner.


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## Judge and Jury (Oct 19, 2019)

Hexonxonx said:


> I think you just made all this up. I don't claim to make hundreds a day. Last Friday I made $226 and I took Yesterday and Tuesday off. I've been making $500-600 a week because that's all I want to work, 3-4 days a week. I accepted that $2.50 order on UE and then cancelled it 30 minutes later at about 4pm before I went out to dash at 5,


Suburbs of Denver?


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## Judge and Jury (Oct 19, 2019)

Invisible said:


> Interesting but twisted point of view. If ya ever get banned, a new profile name for you could be the Executioner.


Judge and Jury.

Executioner is implied.

I screenshot every deliver address and instructions.

Enough said.


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## Ms. Mercenary (Jul 24, 2020)

Donatello said:


> Those orders get piled with good tippers and delivered, yes, I would say you guys need to do something about it.
> 
> Hold the order for 30 mins and cancel if you have the spare rate.
> 
> You can also lick their food or do crap to it, they deserve it, everyone deserves it, not just the rich.


Nah. I would never mess with anyone’s food. That’s WAY too much.


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## ThrowInTheTowel (Apr 10, 2018)

Judge and Jury said:


> Is that offer part of the LOP?
> 
> Oops, UE order.
> 
> ...


Objection your honor. The prosecution is badgering the witness with he say she say. This is pure speculation. I ask the court to strike that comment from the record.


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## F30 LOLZ (Nov 10, 2021)

Donatello said:


> Those orders get piled with good tippers and delivered, yes, I would say you guys need to do something about it.
> 
> Hold the order for 30 mins and cancel if you have the spare rate.
> 
> You can also lick their food or do crap to it, they deserve it, everyone deserves it, not just the rich.


Back in HS/College I did pizza delivery and there were numerous non tippers but this one guy alway had an attitude problem and even shorted me a Buck here or there frequently saying he’ll make it up. We’ll that never happened so he would always be my last delivery out of 4-5 in my car. 

So one evening I dragged my balls across his pepperoni pizza and didn’t think twice about it. 

Always tip people who handle your food because they remember who doesn’t tip.

And yes, I’m an evil.


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## SinTaxERROR (Jul 23, 2019)

F30 LOLZ said:


> Back in HS/College I did pizza delivery and there were numerous non tippers but this one guy alway had an attitude problem and even shorted me a Buck here or there frequently saying he’ll make it up. We’ll that never happened so he would always be my last delivery out of 4-5 in my car.
> 
> So one evening I dragged my balls across his pepperoni pizza and didn’t think twice about it.
> 
> ...


Well that gives new meaning to cheese balls…


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## Invisible (Jun 15, 2018)

F30 LOLZ said:


> So one evening I dragged my balls across his pepperoni pizza and didn’t think twice about it.
> 
> Always tip people who handle your food because they remember who doesn’t tip.
> 
> And yes, I’m an evil


Or always have work ethnic regardless of how crappy a customer is. Integrity is doing the right thing when no ones looking. No excuse for messing with people’s food.

You probably got your karma without realizing when a waiter spit in your food.


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## jaxbeachrides (May 27, 2015)

I don't understand how it's logistically possible anyways. 

It's either a personal pizza or you're doing push-ups over the pizza box.


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## SinTaxERROR (Jul 23, 2019)

Invisible said:


> Or always have work ethnic regardless of how crappy a customer is. Integrity is doing the right thing when no ones looking. No excuse for messing with people’s food.
> 
> You probably got your karma without realizing when a waiter spit in your food.


Or worse… the waiter dragged his balls along @F30 LOLZ ’s T-bone steak…


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## jaxbeachrides (May 27, 2015)

There's actually a technical term, it's called teabagging.


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## SinTaxERROR (Jul 23, 2019)

jaxbeachrides said:


> There's actually a technical term, it's called teabagging.


No more pizza for me…


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## Invisible (Jun 15, 2018)

SinTaxERROR said:


> Or worse… the waiter dragged his balls along @F30 LOLZ ’s T-bone steak…


In my state a cook at TX Roadhouse was pissed the customer returned his steak because it was overdone. So the new steak the cook put his pubes in it. Cook was charged with a felony.



https://www.gmtoday.com/business/cook-at-west-bend-texas-roadhouse-accused-of-putting-hair-inside-steak/article_cc924b58-ea5b-55f1-afa5-6239acf9cf3b.html


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## cyberlucky88 (4 mo ago)

Hexonxonx said:


> View attachment 672303


I got one of those messages a few days ago. I accepted a delivery and fell asleep in the parking lot for about 30 minutes. After I woke up I still made that delivery and got a tip.


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## Ms. Mercenary (Jul 24, 2020)

F30 LOLZ said:


> Back in HS/College I did pizza delivery and there were numerous non tippers but this one guy alway had an attitude problem and even shorted me a Buck here or there frequently saying he’ll make it up. We’ll that never happened so he would always be my last delivery out of 4-5 in my car.
> 
> So one evening I dragged my balls across his pepperoni pizza and didn’t think twice about it.
> 
> ...


I’m not sure the word is “evil”. 

To each his own I guess.


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## F30 LOLZ (Nov 10, 2021)

Invisible said:


> Or always have work ethnic regardless of how crappy a customer is. Integrity is doing the right thing when no ones looking. No excuse for messing with people’s food.
> 
> You probably got your karma without realizing when a waiter spit in your food.


I treat hospitality employees with the upmost respect. 

Cheers.


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## Invisible (Jun 15, 2018)

F30 LOLZ said:


> I treat hospitality employees with the upmost respect.
> 
> Cheers.


That’s good!


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## FL_Steve (Dec 17, 2021)

F30 LOLZ said:


> So one evening I dragged my balls across his pepperoni pizza and didn’t think twice about it.
> 
> Always tip people who handle your food because they remember who doesn’t tip.
> 
> And yes, I’m an evil.


So you gave the scum bag some extra Fromunda cheese on that pie. Fromunda your balls!


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## Jumpin Jim (Mar 4, 2018)

F30 LOLZ said:


> …So one evening I dragged my balls across his pepperoni pizza…


So, a meatlover’s pizza?


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## ColonyMark (Sep 26, 2019)

Ms. Mercenary said:


> I need to mess with a low tipper. Been out since 10:03, only made a smidge over $15. That’s ONE trip. ONE.
> 
> Out of dozens.
> 
> ...


Put a bag of dog poop on their front porch and set if on fire. Then ring the doorbell and run away 😂


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## ColonyMark (Sep 26, 2019)

F30 LOLZ said:


> Back in HS/College I did pizza delivery and there were numerous non tippers but this one guy alway had an attitude problem and even shorted me a Buck here or there frequently saying he’ll make it up. We’ll that never happened so he would always be my last delivery out of 4-5 in my car.
> 
> So one evening I dragged my balls across his pepperoni pizza and didn’t think twice about it.
> 
> ...


Your baseballs?


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## Invisible (Jun 15, 2018)

ColonyMark said:


> Put a bag of dog poop on their front porch and set if on fire. Then ring the doorbell and run away 😂


Then instead of delivering food, the OP can be served 3 meals a day and snuggle all night with her jail bunk mate.


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## Launchpad McQuack (Jan 8, 2019)

Invisible said:


> Or always have work ethnic regardless of how crappy a customer is. Integrity is doing the right thing when no ones looking. No excuse for messing with people’s food.


Yes, but you shouldn't assume that all people have integrity. His advice is still good advice. Don't mess with the people that handle your food.

On the other hand......



F30 LOLZ said:


> So one evening I dragged my balls across his pepperoni pizza and didn’t think twice about it.


You didn't think twice about it, and he didn't think about it at all.........because he didn't know. So what difference did it make?



Invisible said:


> You probably got your karma without realizing when a waiter spit in your food.


Which he also didn't know about. So again, what difference did it make? Is it really karma if the person receiving the karma has no idea that anything happened?

As an experiment, I have done things that would generally be considered gross to my own food while cooking just to see if I could tell while eating it. I never could.


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## Invisible (Jun 15, 2018)

Launchpad McQuack said:


> Yes, but you shouldn't assume that all people have integrity. His advice is still good advice. Don't mess with the people that handle your food.
> 
> On the other hand......
> 
> ...


Karma isn’t punishment. It’s cause and effect. But your rationale, if someone doesn’t know about something no harm, doesn’t work.

Think of someone stealing money from the little old lady with dementia. Because she has dementia and may not realize her money was stolen, doesn’t mean the thief gets no karma.

Messing with people’s food is an intentional act of spitefulness and maliciousness. The guy in my state who confessed to messing with the customers food was charged with a felony.


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