# Scaredy Cat ? and the Big Bad Uber ?



## Mkang14 (Jun 29, 2019)

As drivers, we need to be smart and strong when it comes to facing potential dangers. I respect and strive to be like those who know how to handle situations. No one should be okay being a scaredy cat and helpless. It's weakness of the mind, a flaw.

Now the question is how? How can a person that freezes up, fight back. Not just physicalling but overcome that mental block which takes away confidence and replaces it with fear. When the mind isn't right how can you react properly to save your life?


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## percy_ardmore (Jun 4, 2019)

We all react to major, sudden stress differently, potential for physical harm inflicted on you, fight or flight. When someone is intent on hurting you, your adrenaline will determine if you fight back. You don't know if that person is just a bully and bent on intimidation. Your hear/see women take self-defense classes. Does it help them gain confidence to confront someone when threatened? Perhaps you can answer. As to how someone can go from having sand kicked in their face by the local beach bully to throwing that guy to the sharks next time, hard to answer. Try to keep yourself in top physical condition, always be aware of your surroundings, and if something seems fishy, it probably is.


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## TwoFiddyMile (Mar 13, 2015)

I'm a champion of this. I get up into the person's head who's trying to get up into my head. I've been in many mentally and physically intimidating situations, both inside and outside of a taxi and an Uber. When they want to know where I live, I say where do you live? When they want to know what kind of weapon I carry, I say what what kind of weapon do you think I carry? I can give many examples is this but the bottom line in the trick is when people try and get up in your head, just turn it around on them.


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## OMG GO! (Jul 11, 2017)

Practice. Watch FULL METAL JACKET a bunch of times and learn to channel your inner drill instructor. Dont let asshole pax push you around.


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## 2kwik4u (Aug 27, 2019)

Confidence that comes from knowing your capabilities and limits well is the best defense IMO. If you know yourself, your capabilities, and your equipment, you have far more "ammunition" to make a fast, rational, and most importantly good decision on how to proceed.


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## Leea (Dec 18, 2017)

Start a daily breathing practice. Take ten minutes a day to practice deep breathing, conjure up all the scary encounters you have had in the past that caused a freeze response and breathe through it. This will potentially train your brain to initiate deep controlled breathing when your body begins to feel intense stress; reducing cortisol levels and allowing you to think clearly.


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## Mkang14 (Jun 29, 2019)

TwoFiddyMile said:


> I'm a champion of this. I get up into the person's head who's trying to get up into my head. I've been in many mentally and physically intimidating situations, both inside and outside of a taxi and an Uber. When they want to know where I live, I say where do you live? When they want to know what kind of weapon I carry, I say what what kind of weapon do you think I carry? I can give many examples is this but the bottom line in the trick is when people try and get up in your head, just turn it around on them.


See this one is tough. If they ask a question I'll answer nicely and honestly. I assume they are just being friendly. I dont think I can ever throw it back at them like that. What purpose does it serve to play mind games. Serious question.


2kwik4u said:


> Confidence that comes from knowing your capabilities and limits well is the best defense IMO. If you know yourself, your capabilities, and your equipment, you have far more "ammunition" to make a fast, rational, and most importantly good decision on how to proceed.


In daily life I walk around like the HBIC ?. If i go into a meeting I will get my point across and I sit in the seat where everyone can see me.

I have it but in dangerous situations I lose it. The confidence is gone and the mind goes blank


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## 2kwik4u (Aug 27, 2019)

Mkang14 said:


> In daily life I walk around like the HBIC ?. If i go into a meeting I will get my point across and I sit in the seat where everyone can see me.
> 
> I have it but in dangerous situations I lose it. The confidence is gone and the mind goes blank


In your car, you are the HBIC. Just gotta keep that mindset if the fit hits the shan.

You got this. Don't anyone act or tell you differently.


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## Trafficat (Dec 19, 2016)

The key is to plan ahead for possible eventualities, and to rehearse what you plan to do. Failure to plan is planning to fail. When you encounter a situation so foreign from anything you've planned to do, or where your plans are so abstract that they appear foreign when you encounter reality, you will freeze or otherwise act innapropriately, such as by responding in a way contrary to your moral beliefs due to lack of processing time. It doesn't matter if it is self-defense, or anything else that could be perilous or that is time sensitive. You don't have time to think things through when seconds count. You only have time to act. You can make a split second choice or two only.

Many times I encounter a situation and realize I handled it badly, and usually what it comes down to is incorrect planning or the situation came down a little bit different than expected. I write in my journal what happened, what I did wrong, and why I did it wrong. Then I usually think about it for days, or weeks, or years until the situation or a similar enough one happens and then I usually act a lot better. 

A lot of times, the first time I encounter a person or animal in distress, I am unable to get myself to help them... but then when I think about it, the next time I find myself in a similar situation, I'm less likely to freeze or leave the person or animal to fate.

Even when I encounter a situation that I mostly handled okay, I think about how I could have done it better. I tried to save multiple dogs from a house fire one time. The result of my actions was that one dog lived, and the other dogs all died. One escaped the fire and ran away, a second I got out but somehow it became so injured that it died at the vet. I think he ran back towards the fire and got hurt. I know I could have saved 2 if I put the second dog in my car instead of putting it down outside and running back in. And I could have saved 3 if I would have driven faster and spent less time hesitating. But I'm glad I saved one. 

I recommend watching videos of situations you predict could happen, and create a response that you are confident will work well.


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## Mkang14 (Jun 29, 2019)

Leea said:


> Start a daily breathing practice. Take ten minutes a day to practice deep breathing, conjure up all the scary encounters you have had in the past that caused a freeze response and breathe through it. This will potentially train your brain to initiate deep controlled breathing when your body begins to feel intense stress; reducing cortisol levels and allowing you to think clearly.


Great advice.


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## TwoFiddyMile (Mar 13, 2015)

Mkang14 said:


> See this one is tough. If they ask a question I'll answer nicely and honestly. I assume they are just being friendly. I dont think I can ever throw it back at them like that. What purpose does it serve to play mind games. Serious question.
> 
> In daily life I walk around like the HBIC ?. If i go into a meeting I will get my point across and I sit in the seat where everyone can see me.
> 
> I have it but in dangerous situations I lose it. The confidence is gone and the mind goes blank


Okay, let's go back to the beginning of this. I only play mind games with people that play mind games with me. That's a serious answer! So if I know I'm out on night shift and the person looks spurious to me to begin with like they won't say hi or won't make eye contact and now they're asking questions that are invasive and or personal, and sometimes even dangerous.
I think this applies more to taxi then to Uber, cuz in a taxi I had cash in my pocket and people knew it. So I'm going to be more on my guard.

But keep this in mind, young lady..
you can be honest without being open! My late great mentor (may God Rest his soul) taught me this very very well. He looked right at me, all four foot three of him, and he would say "2:50, you can never be too honest, but you can often be to open. You don't need to tell strangers everything!" Thank you M, rest in peace...


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## mch (Nov 22, 2018)

Not a direct answer to your question and may sound a little counter intuitive but one saftey measure is to keep $40 -$60 or so in cash in your console. If you get robbed you just say “I keep a couple $20s in the console for tolls, take them they’re yours” most would be robbers are probably hard up junkies and having something to hand over will get them out of your car quicker


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## IMMA DRIVER (Jul 6, 2017)

Mkang14 said:


> As drivers, we need to be smart and strong when it comes to facing potential dangers. I respect and strive to be like those who know how to handle situations. No one should be okay being a scaredy cat and helpless. It's weakness of the mind, a flaw.
> 
> Now the question is how? How can a person that freezes up, fight back. Not just physicalling but overcome that mental block which takes away confidence and replaces it with fear. When the mind isn't right how can you react properly to save your life?


A lot of the comments above are very general in nature, so I wanted to be a little more situation specific.
Training is the key. Train yourself in many different ways and it doesn't have to be physical, with a trainer, teacher, instructor or cost any money.
Here's a few examples;

some consider driving in snowy conditions to be a stressful situation where in deep snow could cause a driver to freeze up. Well every winter I YouTube "how to drive in Alaska" where they have the harshest conditions with 60 below temps.
Road rage situations: Watch videos of what happens when road rage goes wrong, then think of what you could have done to deescalate the situation. By replaying the images will teach you to calm down if the situation arises because you've "seen it before."
Passenger confrontations: teach yourself to listen to what the person is saying before speaking. Many times someone is just looking for you to say something that puts them over the edge. Stay calm, relax and speak only on the topic at hand.
Physical altercations and how to avoid them. You may never encounter one but it may help you to simply understand what can take a larger person than you down. Like a chop to the throat, kicking a man in the nads, rotating someone's wrist to get their hands off of you. Simple but very effective techniques. By learning, then practicing you won't freeze up when confronted it will be a more natural response.
If someone is probing info from you that you'd rather not give out or discuss. Learn how to deflect like your president and most politicians. I have nothing against any of them but they are all very smart and make a living deflecting many tough situations. It takes skill but it's a very effective deescalating tool to have. Learn it and instead of freezing up you'll know how to change course in an instant.
I think if you spend just a little time practicing, teaching and training yourself then when situations arise you'll feel more comfortable instead of frozen and lost.



mch said:


> Not a direct answer to your question and may sound a little counter intuitive but one saftey measure is to keep $40 -$60 or so in cash in your console. If you get robbed you just say "I keep a couple $20s in the console for tolls, take them they're yours" most would be robbers are probably hard up junkies and having something to hand over will get them out of your car quicker


No..... no..... no...... Never keep cash on you. Don't listen to this.


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## mch (Nov 22, 2018)

IMMA DRIVER said:


> A lot of the comments above are very general in nature, so I wanted to be a little more situation specific.
> Training is the key. Train yourself in many different ways and it doesn't have to be physical, with a trainer, teacher, instructor or cost any money.
> Here's a few examples;
> 
> ...


Why not? Have you ever been robbed? I have. It wasnt while driving Uber but when I gave the cash I had in my pocket, they went away.


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## TwoFiddyMile (Mar 13, 2015)

mch said:


> [No..... no..... no...... Never keep cash on you. Don't listen to this.


Why not?
[/QUOTE]
I would amend that to saying never admit to having cash on you, and don't put it in your front pockets. Just cuz people are in an Uber or a lift doesn't mean that they won't try and rob you!


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## IMMA DRIVER (Jul 6, 2017)

mch said:


> Why not? Have you ever been robbed?


1 Right now robbers know Uber driver's deal with an app only, so as of now they feel robbing Uber drivers isn't worth the effort. If that philosophy changes there will be more theft.
2. Use that $60 on a dash cam. That is the #1 deterrent for robbers. Simply point to that dashcam and they'll exit immediately.
3. We open up our "secret console's" all the time for pax whether it's to get a cleaning cloth, napkins, cell phone car charger, water, gum, aux cord etc.. If you have cash laying around hidden somewhere it can easily be seen when you least expect it. Potentially causing a non-robber to rob you. 
4. Junkies don't have UBER accounts, debit or credit cards.


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## mch (Nov 22, 2018)

IMMA DRIVER said:


> 1 Right now robbers know Uber driver's deal with an app only, so as of now they feel robbing Uber drivers isn't worth the effort. If that philosophy changes there will be more theft.
> 2. Use that $60 on a dash cam. That is the #1 deterrent for robbers. Simply point to that dashcam and they'll exit immediately.
> 3. We open up our "secret console's" all the time for pax whether it's to get a cleaning cloth, napkins, cell phone car charger, water, gum, aux cord etc.. If you have cash laying around hidden somewhere it can easily be seen when you least expect it. Potentially causing a non-robber to rob you.
> 4. Junkies don't have UBER accounts, debit or credit cards.


#1 is exactly the reason you should have some on you. If someone is attempting to rob an uber driver (and it does happen) they aren't your typical theives. They are probably really desperate. Most likley because they are looking to get high.

You are right, most junkies probably don't have credit cards or Uber accounts. Some might. Also you may not get robbed by an Uber account holder, maybe you're tired and leave your door unlocked and someone jumps in. Maybe you have the window rolled down and someone walks up on you and sticks a gun in your face.

Im just going by personal expirience here. When I got robbed it was over quick. He took my $$$ and immediatley got the hell out of there. No telling what would have happened if I didnt have a little cash on me. Would he have believed me and just taken my word for it?


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## IMMA DRIVER (Jul 6, 2017)

mch said:


> No telling what would have happened if I didnt have a little cash on me.


You might be $50 richer. lol


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## mch (Nov 22, 2018)

IMMA DRIVER said:


> You might be $50 richer. lol


I could also be dead or living with beating someone to death on my conscience. $50 comes and goes


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## Cold Fusion (Aug 28, 2019)

IMMA DRIVER said:


> so as of now they feel robbing Uber drivers isn't worth the effort.


unless "they" want the Car ?
brings new meaning to "grabbing an Uber" .

more cost efficient. Grab, Go and Abandon vehicle @ final destination.
passenger cost: zero
driver costs: either funeral service or long stay in ICU

"I never thought it would happen to me," uber drive said.
https://fox17.com/news/local/uber-d...vehicle-i-never-thought-it-would-happen-to-me


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## Ylinks (Apr 22, 2019)

Mkang14 said:


> As drivers, we need to be smart and strong when it comes to facing potential dangers. I respect and strive to be like those who know how to handle situations. No one should be okay being a scaredy cat and helpless. It's weakness of the mind, a flaw.
> 
> Now the question is how? How can a person that freezes up, fight back. Not just physicalling but overcome that mental block which takes away confidence and replaces it with fear. When the mind isn't right how can you react properly to save your life?


I spent two years in the military training for combat operations and two years using those skills in combat. At first we were very confident in our ability. Our unit sustained a very high level of casualties. By the end of our tours we all knew that if a helicopter dropped you of in the middle of a far superior enemy force you were in serious trouble no matter how skilled you were. We adopted the less than heroic saying: _Don't be there when it happens._

Now, retired and driving part time for Uber I use that knowledge to protect myself. I make it a rule to never accept a pick up if I'm not familiar with the neighborhood. It's certainly reduces the amount of money I make but it does eliminate the majority of risk.

You ask, "How can a person that freezes up, fight back." The answer is don't get in the fight in the first place.


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## Cold Fusion (Aug 28, 2019)

Ylinks said:


> I spent two years in the military training for combat operations and two years using those skills in combat. At first we were very confident in our ability. Our unit sustained a very high level of casualties. By the end of our tours we all knew that if a helicopter dropped you of in the middle of a far superior enemy force you were in serious trouble no matter how skilled you were. We adopted the less than heroic saying: _Don't be there when it happens._
> 
> Now, retired and driving part time for Uber I use that knowledge to protect myself. I make it a rule to never accept a pick up if I'm not familiar with the neighborhood. It's certainly reduces the amount of money I make but it does eliminate the majority of risk.
> 
> You ask, "How can a person that freezes up, fight back." The answer is don't get in the fight in the first place.


George Washington fought many battles by retreating.
he knew if he stayed and fought,
the British would decimate his Continental army.

how does a smaller army beat a larger force back in cir 1776 And today?
hook up with the enemy of your enemy.
in this instance, The French.

Trapped between American and French forces on land and the French fleet on the sea, Cornwallis surrendered on October 19, 1781. This was the last major battle of the American Revolutionary War. The Americans and the French each signed independent treaties with Britain


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## Spider-Man (Jul 7, 2017)

TwoFiddyMile said:


> I'm a champion of this. I get up into the person's head who's trying to get up into my head. I've been in many mentally and physically intimidating situations, both inside and outside of a taxi and an Uber. When they want to know where I live, I say where do you live? When they want to know what kind of weapon I carry, I say what what kind of weapon do you think I carry? I can give many examples is this but the bottom line in the trick is when people try and get up in your head, just turn it around on them.


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## zanboor (Jan 21, 2018)

Mkang14 said:


> As drivers, we need to be smart and strong when it comes to facing potential dangers. I respect and strive to be like those who know how to handle situations. No one should be okay being a scaredy cat and helpless. It's weakness of the mind, a flaw.
> 
> Now the question is how? How can a person that freezes up, fight back. Not just physicalling but overcome that mental block which takes away confidence and replaces it with fear. When the mind isn't right how can you react properly to save your life?


The quickest way to get out of being frozen is to breath in and breath out very small amount of oxygen at a time and as many times as you can before your lungs return to normal state.


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## doyousensehumor (Apr 13, 2015)

Mkang14 said:


> Now the question is how? How can a person that freezes up, fight back. Not just physicalling but overcome *that mental block which takes away confidence and replaces it with fear. When the mind isn't right how can you react properly to save your life?*


Very good topic. Uber really should provide training on this. One of the most important safety issues is how to handle a SHTF situation. A situation where the driver is out-numbered, and out-muscled.


percy_ardmore said:


> We all react to major, sudden stress differently, potential for physical harm inflicted on you, *fight or flight. *When someone is intent on hurting you, your adrenaline will determine if you fight back.


There's a time to fight. There is a time for flight. Sometimes neither is an option. What to do then is the question. Adreneline is no joke. In the moment, things happen fast.


Mkang14 said:


> See this one is tough. If they ask a question I'll answer nicely and honestly. I assume they are just being friendly. I dont think I can ever throw it back at them like that. *What purpose does it serve to play mind game*s. Serious question.


It's all mind games. 100%. You would have to outsmart the pax, to deesculate the situation. That involves more listening, and never warning them of your next move. I think military training or strategy where if the enemy can't predict your next move might be one way to describe it. More on this in a second...


IMMA DRIVER said:


> No..... no..... no...... Never keep cash on you. Don't listen to this.


For a robbery situation, having something to give them actually may save a life. I used to hide cash in the cab... but not all of it! For this reason.


IMMA DRIVER said:


> Passenger confrontations: teach yourself to listen to what the person is saying before speaking. Many times someone is just looking for you to say something that puts them over the edge. Stay calm, relax and speak only on the topic at hand


Listening is key, as well as body language, tone of voice, and choice of words.


Trafficat said:


> The key is to plan ahead for possible eventualities, and to rehearse what you plan to do. Failure to plan is planning to fail.


This is why this is a good subject!!

So let's picture a situation:

The driver has 3 unruly pax, it's 3AM, no people around, pax making threatening suggestions and/or displays anger. Pax seems unstable. Driver is scared. The adreneline is getting to him/her.
Driver is looking for a safe place (where there are other people) to kick out the pax, but finds none. Pax demands driver not touch his/her phone. Pax says, turn into this dark church parking lot, or a dark alley. Driver says no I am not doing that. Pax barks out "just do it" and places a hand on drivers arm, sending chills up the drivers spine.

*Pause.*

How many drivers have ever considered their next move at this point??? You could say coulda woulda shoulda, it doesn't matter at that point.

Oh, uber could have screened pax better.
Oh damn, I should have not let pax in the car to begin with.
Oh gezz, maybe I should work days instead.
It's too late for those questions.
Those are important questions, but knowing what to do, in the moment, if in a bad situation is critical.

More on what to do later.

Spoiler aleart: breathing can help keep your head clear, but lets not kid ourselves...


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## GreatWhiteHope (Sep 18, 2018)

Mkang14 said:


> As drivers, we need to be smart and strong when it comes to facing potential dangers. I respect and strive to be like those who know how to handle situations. No one should be okay being a scaredy cat and helpless. It's weakness of the mind, a flaw.
> 
> Now the question is how? How can a person that freezes up, fight back. Not just physicalling but overcome that mental block which takes away confidence and replaces it with fear. When the mind isn't right how can you react properly to save your life?


I guess you just have to know the consequences of non action and force yourself



TwoFiddyMile said:


> I'm a champion of this. I get up into the person's head who's trying to get up into my head. I've been in many mentally and physically intimidating situations, both inside and outside of a taxi and an Uber. When they want to know where I live, I say where do you live? When they want to know what kind of weapon I carry, I say what what kind of weapon do you think I carry? I can give many examples is this but the bottom line in the trick is when people try and get up in your head, just turn it around on them.


Bro we need stories from you

thankfully I have zero but this sounds juicy



Mkang14 said:


> See this one is tough. If they ask a question I'll answer nicely and honestly. I assume they are just being friendly. I dont think I can ever throw it back at them like that. What purpose does it serve to play mind games. Serious question.
> 
> In daily life I walk around like the HBIC ?. If i go into a meeting I will get my point across and I sit in the seat where everyone can see me.
> 
> I have it but in dangerous situations I lose it. The confidence is gone and the mind goes blank


Nice and honest is good in theory

In reality some ppl will do bad things and you have to know when to have your guard up 
I'm bad at this too but better now.

ive been physically attacked twice in my life and both times I should have had my guard up

this is a learned thing not a natural thing


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## Mkang14 (Jun 29, 2019)

GreatWhiteHope said:


> In reality some ppl will do bad things and you have to know when to have your guard up
> I'm bad at this too but better now.
> 
> ive been physically attacked twice in my life and both times I should have had my guard up
> ...


Anymore on this?

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Hi all just want to say you guys are really going beyond what I expected. Extremely good advice. I think this is very helpful to all


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## Dammit Mazzacane (Dec 31, 2015)

Mkang14 said:


> How can a person that freezes up, fight back. Not just physicalling but overcome that mental block which takes away confidence and replaces it with fear. When the mind isn't right how can you react properly to save your life?


Control. If you feel in control of the situation on a mutually even keel with your passengers, it's helpful.

De-escalation techniques, if possible.


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## Coastal_Cruiser (Oct 1, 2018)

Great thread with some great advice! Here's my 2...

#1 bestest most effective way for a lady to have confidence in all situations:






and perhaps more practical...

#2 Everything prior said about breathing. Especially when in that tense moment.

#3 An author by the name of Lynne McTaggart wrote a book called 'The Intention Experiment: Using Your Thoughts to Change Your Life and the World'. She interviewed many highly successful athletes, such as Muhammad Ali, all who had the commonality that they pre-envisioned the contest and what they needed to do in order to win (in the vein of what others have mentioned on the topic).

#4 Take a look at your Boys vs Girls thread where Honey Badger indicated what she carries in her left door pocket.

Finally, at a personal level... I'm a firm believer that everyone is "magnetized" in some way. We draw certain things. We don't draw other things. The longer you live the more you become aware of what you attract. For example I don't have a dashcam (although YOU should) because I never have _that_ kind of trouble get in the car. And if a potentially harmful person _does_ make it in I am careful to not act like I know they are dangerous. I react as though they are normal people. Such people love that, because they are used to people recoiling at their appearance or mannerisms. Point being, the situation never escalates.

Think about what you draw. You mentioned dangerous situations. Did they escalate out of control? Or did they just provide a fright but passed. What do you draw> Form your action plan around that.

Finally finally, You Ms. M may also want to look at why your are not more assertive in the car when the need arise. Not escalatory.... assertive. Setting boundaries. This will sound arrogant but I have a good idea why you shy from that. But it is pointless for me to tell you. You must unravel that for yourself. One technique is to picture yourself being assertive in a past situation where you were not. Now stop, and ask yourself what you gain by not asserting. What's the payoff? Take note of the first answer that comes to mind. But keep listening. Keep taking it apart. Layer by layer. Every time a reason comes up keep drilling down by asking what you gain for having that thought/belief.


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## doyousensehumor (Apr 13, 2015)

Part 2:

I see some of these other posts as "Just breath, you'll be fine!"

Give me a break. If you really want to help people who may find themselves in a bad situation, they are going to need a lot more than that.

Breathing is all fine and dandy. It's not going to save you though.

I think women would more likely freeze up. But, I've been frozen myself. More than once. When being frozen think of how you got friends, family, kids. Not going to let some punk control you. That snaps me out of it. Turn fear into anger. Anger that some little shit is not going to push you around. Instead of them being unpredictable to you, become unpredictable to them! Instead of you reacting to them, they have to react to you!

Once you been through it once and overcome being frozen once, it is so liberating.

Think of what tools you have. What your next move is. If that doesnt work, what's the move after that. Sit up straight. Stern facial expression. My focus is the surrounding area. Is this a dead end street? Are there businesses a half mile ahead? Pax, which one is the problem one? what does he want? How can I pretend to go with it, but suddenly turn the tables on him? If I have a strong belief they don't have weapons, that gives more options. The car it's self can be a weapon for the driver. What else can be improvised? If you have self defence weapons, think of where it is, IF you have to use it. The timing. Too soon and the driver can get in trouble for that, if LE thinks self-defence wasn't necessary.

Let them run their mouth. If the driver is talkative, he/she may be helping the pax have an advantage.

The situations I am thinking of the pax is playing the dominate card. He feeds of someone who he can control. "Sir" and "please" only feeds that disire. Unless you are setting a trap for him. Then seduce him into that trap.

Sometimes the pax hands you an opportunity. One time I picked up pax who was halfway through the front seat waving his had in front of my face? He was being aggressive. Talking of kicking someone's ass. I knew I was kicking him out, but I was looking for the best time to do it. He never saw it coming. He made a stop to look for his buddy. He got out, leaving the door open. Golden opportunity! Once he was 2 steps away I punched the gas, I knew that would shut the door.

Another time was a pax I kicked out who was threatening to stab me over a drive thru issue. I used little words, what little I did say, was in a tone that was matter of fact. Not to be negotiated with. The time and place I decided to make my move was in front of 6 cars in a drive thru, and a short sprint to a bar. The best possible time and place, because I knew the route ahead was dark and rural. I stated firmly, this ride is over, you need to remove yourself from this vehicle. When that didn't work, it was GTFOOMC the meanest, nastiest way possible.

There are others alot worse, involving police, but that's all I'm talking about here.

This is all strategy. This is not about getting revenge on pax. When the driver is being fully aware, he/she should be weighing risks. Looking for the safest way out. 
Sometimes that involves a short term risk, to avoid a long term one. 
Sometimes that means completing the trip.


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## TemptingFate (May 2, 2019)

Channel your inner Bruce, as in Bruce Lee and Bruce Willis.


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## Mkang14 (Jun 29, 2019)

TemptingFate said:


> Channel your inner Bruce, as in Bruce Lee and Bruce Willis.


Dont say Bruce or you'll stir up the 3rd gender topic again. Let them be.


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## mch (Nov 22, 2018)

Another thing to remember is try to get a good look at your pax before they get in your car. If they look inebriated, really pissed off, or especially both, roll away and cancel. End that bad ride before it starts!

I had some old dude once who decided to let me know he thought I was a homosexual because he didn’t like the music I was playing?. I handled the situation. It’s actually kindof a funny story that I may post later but that’s beside the point. I could have avoided the whole thing if I woulda just rolled. I thought about it too, while I was watching him stumble to my car, but I was still pretty green at the time.


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## GoldenGoji (Apr 30, 2018)

I think it's hard to give advice on this sort of topic since people are different, we all have different ways of thinking and abilities, as well as different threshold for stress levels, where when crossed, would send one to a panic and inability to think and act. For example, someone might say you need to fight back against a guy who is attacking you. This might work for a man who can match the attackers power, but what if you're a granny who never even lifted a dumbell in her life?? Different strategies, different people.

Anyway, I'll just share my personal opinion on the matter, but please don't take it too seriously.

Our job as drivers places as at a very huge disadvantage already when it comes to defending ourselves. First, we are seated in front, strapped down by a seatbelt. Any criminal behind us can easily point a gun or knife to our head. If they have a gun, they don't even need a clear shot to your head as they can just shoot through your chair and hit your head and other vital organs. It's so easy to get killed as a driver. Second, even weaponless criminals can try to choke us or just continuously hit our head and we won't be able to do a thing about it. Third, taking off the seatbelt would take at least 2 or 3 seconds, and that's enough time to get shot, stabbed, or distracted that you'd end up crashing the car. Honestly, I think we need some kind of cage or protective barrier just like what real taxi drivers have to at least stand a chance of not getting murdered or hurt. Is this possible for normal people who drive normal vehicles living normal lives? I'm not really sure about that, but maybe someone knows.

Since we are in this defenseless position as drivers, I do agree with what others have already said. You should not panic. It's very easy to say, but not panicking is actually very hard. Normal people don't get yelled at or threatened every day, so being suddenly faced with a life threatening danger is surely going to shock you and trap you in a state of panic.

Try to de-escalate any issue if you notice something dangerous that is already happening, even if it means swallowing your pride. For example, if a passenger starts getting pissed off about something, then sometimes it's best to just be quiet because if you talk, you might risk saying something that would just add to their anger, leading to violent actions.

Also, it is ok to judge a book by its cover. There's usually a reason people look the way they look. Before allowing a passenger into the car, try to watch their body language. Do they appear jittery, as in making weird sudden twitch-like movements? They're probably high or maybe they have a mental problem. I'd skip them. Are they pretty shifty, as in do they look like they're uncomfortable and trying to get into your car as quick as possible? Dude's probably planning something bad or got into trouble somehow. I'd skip this person as well. If you ever let someone into your car, what kind of language do they use? Are they respectful, or do they curse a lot right away? Even if swear words are casually thrown in our day to day interactions with people, there's a way to say these bad words with enough weight as if there's craziness and intent to harm. It sounds like someone's agitated. What kind of tone do they use when speaking to you? Are they very commanding and authoritative? "Just drive. Do it. Make a right turn. Go into that alley." Those kinds of words, very short but commanding phrases, they sound like trouble already.

But what if the situation is that the criminal is already in the car? This is the dangerous part, there's no one way of dealing with this situation. I think though, that as a general rule, is that you shouldn't allow yourself to be commanded to drive to a place where you are alone, isolated. You don't want to be in an open field with tall grass. You don't want to be in a tight alley with a dead end. You don't want to go into someone's garage. Those are perfect spots for rape and murder. Nobody will hear you scream. Even if you get out of your car, you're trapped. If you go to where the criminal wants you to go, there might be more criminals waiting to feast on you there. This reminds me of the story of a female driver who was held hostage by a passenger, but instead of following the criminal's orders to drive into a field, she drove to a busy part of the city, took her seatbelt off, and then jump out of the car while it was still moving. Instead of getting raped and murdered, she just risked getting injured jumping out of a moving car where many people can see them. I think this was a very smart move. It's better to be injured than raped and murdered, in my opinion.

I don't think any martial art or self-defense can help us when we're strapped down to our seats though, but let's say we can get out of the car. I think the first thing we should grab is the cellphone, especially if the only phone you're using is the one you are using as a GPS. The moment we get out of the car, we should also contact 911 while running away. The idea is to establish a connection with the police even if you can't talk. I'm pretty sure that with today's technology, they can probably pinpoint exactly where we are. If they can track down criminals as long as they have their phone numbers, then they can most likely track us down especially since we actually contacted them ourselves.

Anyway that's really just my idea on how to save myself as a driver trapped on his seat with a criminal in the car.

Life isn't like in the movies where you can be this badass martial arts hero who can fight even while sitting down. In real life, even champion martial artists get beaten up or killed by random drunkards or criminals. Why is that? These people are strong, they have trained for so many years in their sport, they're even champions! The problem is, sports is different from real life fights. In sports, you are limited to certain moves that you can use to attack. You cannot hit people at certain body parts. In real life, anyone can grab whatever weapons they want. Stones, sticks, pencils, stop signs, thumbtacks, keys, anything! Also in real life, people can aim for any body part they want, there's no referee to stop them from poking your eyes, stabbing your throat, crushing your balls, pulling your hair, and more. Also unlike sports, in real life, you can kill people. There's no 10 second countdown rule. There are no winners by unanimous or split decisions. It's either you live or you die.

Please don't fall victim to fake martial arts or self-defense lessons. There are many of these available but they do not work in real life.











Anyway, in my personal opinion, if it comes to a point where it's kill or be killed because for some reason you're trapped or you know for sure there's no getting out of the situation alive, it's better to fight back and become the killer. Most normal people wouldn't want to hurt another human being even if they're being attacked, but there are times when you have to kill in order to live.

Some people also mentioned here about imagining dangerous scenarios like that to mentally prepare yourself. I agree with that. I would like to add that if possible, try to watch real life attack or murder videos that you can find on the darker side of the net. Those videos are raw, unedited, and they show what really happens during muggings, random attacks, and even mass shootings. You see what happens when somebody gets shot in the head or body. It's not like in movies where there's a dramatic pause or dramatic fall. Even shows like Walking Dead where headshots are very common fail to show how people just limply fall after being shot in the head. Shoot the brain, person goes limp all over no matter what they're doing. No drama, no theatrics. Knife attacks, they don't happen like in the movies. Attacks in real life are fast and random. Multiple stabs happen fast even while you're still busy realizing that you're being stabbed. A lot of people die because they end up cowering in a corner while some criminal shoots people or stabs everyone. In that New Zealand mass shooting of a mosque from a months ago, a lot of people just cowered in a corner and only one man tried to tackle the shooter. The shooter went down but managed to regain his gun and shoot the heroic man. Nobody else tried to help keep the shooter down. In the end, the shooter went inside the room and just shot all the cowering folks in the corner, around 30 or more of them. That's how panic and fear can get you killed. Aside from the gore and violence, you also get to see how real criminals act and how they talk, how they bully their victims, how they threaten you, or how they sometimes panic and just kill their victims when they get spooked. You can see them from sites like Watch People Die and Best Gore.

Anyway here's something to lighten the mood a bit lol!


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## ZenUber (Feb 11, 2019)

Practice.
And driving uber is great practice at dealing with people. 
Everyone has to find their own way. Obviously you're not going to deal with it the same way a "Bruce Lee" would. 
When I have a bad experience with a pax, I review the dashcam video, and get my wife's opinion. Then I use visualization to imagine and rehearse how I might have handled it better. And I _have_ gotten better at it.

For physical confrontations, you might consider a self defense class.


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## doyousensehumor (Apr 13, 2015)

Coastal_Cruiser said:


> You Ms. M may also want to look at why your are not more assertive in the car when the need arise. Not escalatory.... assertive. Setting boundaries. This will sound arrogant but I have a good idea why you shy from that. But it is pointless for me to tell you. You must unravel that for yourself. One technique is to picture yourself being assertive in a past situation where you were not. Now stop, and ask yourself what you gain by not asserting. What's the payoff? Take note of the first answer that comes to mind. But keep listening. Keep taking it apart. Layer by layer. Every time a reason comes up keep drilling down by asking what you gain for having that thought/belief.


I am having a hard time understanding what you meant, by a past situation she was not assertive. You say you have a good idea why she shys away from that? One could assume almost anything from your post. Please clarify.


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## Seamus (Jun 21, 2018)

Experience is the best teacher.


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## ariel5466 (May 16, 2019)

Awesome thread, @Mkang14. Generating some really good advice here. Thanks, and thank you to everyone contributing.


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## Mkang14 (Jun 29, 2019)

GoldenGoji said:


> if a passenger starts getting pissed off about something, then sometimes it's best to just be quiet because if you talk, you might risk saying something that would just add to their anger, leading to violent actions.


My first 1 star about 2 years ago I confronted a guy for smoking weed and he got upset. At first I was talking back and then he got louder. That's when I lowered my tone and just said okay. When I got a chance to say something I told him hes scarying me and to his credit he immediately stopped. No shame in swallowing pride to deescalate



GoldenGoji said:


> Please don't fall victim to fake martial arts or self-defense lessons. There are many of these available but they do not work in real life.


This was shocking! I was going to ask my senior director about setting up a self defense class. He had talked about it in the past. Is there any type of defense class that would be more beneficial?



GoldenGoji said:


> Nobody else tried to help keep the shooter down. In the end, the shooter went inside the room and just shot all the cowering folks in the corner,


Our company had a active shooter training. It was pretty empowering and it basically confirmed what you said about sitting ducks and cowering.

The trainer mentioned if you find yourself in a room. The shooter comes through the door then everyone start throwing things at him as a group and then jump him. It seemed very possible ?.

Very informative.


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## GoldenGoji (Apr 30, 2018)

Mkang14 said:


> This was shocking! I was going to ask my senior director about setting up a self defense class. He had talked about it in the past. Is there any type of defense class that would be more beneficial?


Honestly I do not know of any actual martial art that is 100% effective in real life, but I have to say that MMA or Mixed Martial Arts is what you can consider "realistic" when it comes to practical application in real encounters. Different people, different body types, different abilities, different stamina, endurance, power. For example, a lot of self defense that are marketed to people, both men and women, involve grappling moves (usually Brazillian Jiu Jitsu like the ones used by the Gracie family who are very well known in the Ultimate Fighting Championship and Mixed Martial Arts in general). In grappling, it usually involves the person grabbing someone's joint and locking it so that the target won't be able to move. In other words, you need to be in shape to actually pull this off. If you're a woman who weighs 120lbs and the bad guy is an obese 250lbs person, your technique won't work and you'll be overpowered. This is also the reason why in sports, you often hear about "Weight Classes" where people of similar weights, usually 6lbs apart, can fight each other. It's true for MMA, it's true for boxing, it's true for kickboxing/muai thai and other modern day sports. The reason for this is that the weight difference can play a huge role in determining who gets beaten up. The heavier a person is, the harder they can hit you (even if they have no fighting experience) and if they somehow get on top of you, you won't be able to move. Now let's take into consideration the average person who drives Uber (or simply just the normal person). The average person isn't athletic. The average person doesn't train like a fighter. Even people who exercise still are not on the same level as people who specifically train for fighting sports. So in a fight between two untrained people, an untrained victim and an untrained attacker, the heavier the attacker, the more advantage he has over you.






The problem with a lot of self defense techniques that rely on locking the attackers joints or choking them, is that you'll have to be able to maintain that hold for long periods of time. If you're someone who doesn't train and you don't have great stamina, you'll eventually get tired and you're gonna be the one at a disadvantage. Then of course no attacker would just let you choke or hold them down. They're gonna hit you hard to get free and they'll never stop hitting until you've been subdued. Also, a lot of these involve "going to the ground" with your attacker. In real life, falling to the ground is dangerous. You're falling on cement/asphalt/whatever and those are hard. If you do one of those "armbar" moves from one of the videos I showed above, you're gonna hurt your back you might be put in a state of shock and the attacker would just do his thing with you.

There's also the fact that you don't always have one attacker. You might have two or more and that's definitely unfair. A lot of modern day self defense techniques focus on dealing with one attacker only. What do you do if there's two or more? You definitely can't perform choke moves because the other bad guys will just grab and hit you. You don't want to be on the ground because they can just stomp on you and do their thing while you're helpless.

A lot of martial arts these days are meant for sports. This is why they can do roundhouse kicks, flying kicks, and all sorts of flashy moves in the ring, cage, or the mat. Everyone involved follows a set of rules. It's like a video game where they're only limited to certain moves. If you notice in a lot of fighting sports like MMA or Kickboxers, you'll see that some fighters are not allowed to use their knees or elbows to attack, while others are allowed to do so. Again in real life, there are no rules. Elbows, knees, there's nobody stopping the bad guys from using these to hit you. If anyone tries to do a roundhouse kick or any flashy move in real life, that person will be put at a great disadvantage, especially if they miss.

Personally, I think that the striking (punching/kicking) part of MMA, specifically boxing or kickboxing style, are effective. The reason is that they are not flashy. They are meant for efficiency, not showmanship. These punches and kicks don't look impressive, but they are fast and if they hit you, you're gonna get hurt. Here's an example of how MMA's striking techniques are used against the more showy Chinese Kung Fu that you see in movies. Notice how the Kung Fu master isn't really able to do any flashy moves because the MMA fighter simply lets out rapid punches and kicks.






And of course, real life attacks aren't like sports. For us, it can happen while we're driving or just minding our business in general. It's usually some kind of surprise ambush attack. It's really important to be aware of our surroundings, as in not get lost staring at the phone or listening to some ipod music or whatever.











Personally, I've never been ambushed, although I've only been to one real life fight, but that was a long time ago during my teenage years. Just like what the guy in the video said above, it's a different situation when you know you are about to get into a fight (you can prepare, brace for impact and things like that) and when you are being ambushed with some kind of surprise attack where your first reaction is to freeze. I used to do boxing back then, but I don't think that alone is enough to prepare one for such surprise attacks. But anyway, just to gain some confidence and experience on how to hurt someone, I think at least learning how to box
or do some MMA attacks would do good.

In the end, situational awareness is the most important in my opinion. If you know what's going on around you, then you can start thinking about an escape plan especially if you're not that confident in fighting or killing someone (let's face it, criminals don't care about our lives, they'll probably kill us, so might as well be prepared to kill them if the chance shows up). Don't focus on your phone or music when walking outside or even while you're in the car with the doors unlocked. When faced with a criminal and they really want your money or some kind of item, maybe it's better to just give those to them and avoid potential violent attacks. If you have a weapon such as a knife or gun (I know Uber prohibits lethal weapons but then again...) and some guy tries to attack you, never hesitate to kill or even attempt a warning shot/stab/slash. If this person gets your weapon, then you'll become a victim of your own weapon. Even people who get shot multiple times can still get up, as shown in the police video in this news article -> https://www.redandblack.com/athensn...cle_4792ed72-9cd9-11e9-a0c0-9bdd5a0be505.html

Anyway, I hope none of us would have to face this kind of situation. It's probably gonna be a very life changing experience if we survive it. Even experienced, tough people still get shaken by such events.


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## doyousensehumor (Apr 13, 2015)

GoldenGoji said:


> Honestly I do not know of any actual martial art that is 100% effective in real life, but I have to say that MMA or Mixed Martial Arts is what you can consider "realistic" when it comes to practical application in real encounters. Different people, different body types, different abilities, different stamina, endurance, power. For example, a lot of self defense that are marketed to people, both men and women, involve grappling moves (usually Brazillian Jiu Jitsu like the ones used by the Gracie family who are very well known in the Ultimate Fighting Championship and Mixed Martial Arts in general). In grappling, it usually involves the person grabbing someone's joint and locking it so that the target won't be able to move. In other words, you need to be in shape to actually pull this off. If you're a woman who weighs 120lbs and the bad guy is an obese 250lbs person, your technique won't work and you'll be overpowered. This is also the reason why in sports, you often hear about "Weight Classes" where people of similar weights, usually 6lbs apart, can fight each other. It's true for MMA, it's true for boxing, it's true for kickboxing/muai thai and other modern day sports. The reason for this is that the weight difference can play a huge role in determining who gets beaten up. The heavier a person is, the harder they can hit you (even if they have no fighting experience) and if they somehow get on top of you, you won't be able to move. Now let's take into consideration the average person who drives Uber (or simply just the normal person). The average person isn't athletic. The average person doesn't train like a fighter. Even people who exercise still are not on the same level as people who specifically train for fighting sports. So in a fight between two untrained people, an untrained victim and an untrained attacker, the heavier the attacker, the more advantage he has over you.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


TL;DR

Cliff notes?


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## Dropking (Aug 18, 2017)

Mkang14 said:


> As drivers, we need to be smart and strong when it comes to facing potential dangers. I respect and strive to be like those who know how to handle situations. No one should be okay being a scaredy cat and helpless. It's weakness of the mind, a flaw.
> 
> Now the question is how? How can a person that freezes up, fight back. Not just physicalling but overcome that mental block which takes away confidence and replaces it with fear. When the mind isn't right how can you react properly to save your life?


I dont agree with you that "fight" is the only antidote to "fear" and freezing up. The alternative to fear is making a considered rational choice of either fight or flight. In a dire situation, it might be best to stop the car in a well lit area and run the hell away from your car.


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## Mkang14 (Jun 29, 2019)

Dropking said:


> The solution to fear is making a considered rational choice of either fight or flight. In a dire situation, it might be best to stop the car in a well lit area and run the hell away from your car.


Any opportunity, flight is the choice ??. When I said fight I used that as the alternative to do nothing. Anyone that gets out of a situation instead of doing nothing.


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## Dropking (Aug 18, 2017)

Mkang14 said:


> Any opportunity, flight is the choice ??. When I said fight I used that as the alternative to do nothing. Anyone that gets out of a situation instead of doing nothing.


Well, thats not true either according to the experts. Sometimes "fight" is better against a sexual predator, for example. What im trying to say is fight is not the only right answer all of the time.

Whats really important from your post, i think, is for people to run scenarious thru their heads so that they dont freeze up in life saving moments. You need to have some recognition of the moment, as if you have lived it before, to make a rationale decision. This doesnt mean "fight" as much as an ability to think.

I love this post. Brava for you.


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## doyousensehumor (Apr 13, 2015)

I keep hearing people say to run away from the car. Just saying, what are you going to do when they chase after you? A vehicle is a fortress... you know even if you're trapped inside with them, you're the one who's buckled up--- they probably aren't. Some aggressive driving Maneuvers can throw them about the car and if that's what you got to do, that's alot ****ing better than getting chased in the woods by somebody. You leave all other options off the table as soon as you leave your car.

Ditching the car is appropriate when there are other people around. While we're exercising our strategies here, I would suggest to weigh your risks wisely

Plus I don't know about you other drivers, but I know that I could seriously scare the living shit out of somebody if they were passenger if I really wanted to. Just another possible way impovise the tools you have. Think before you throw that away.


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## Mkang14 (Jun 29, 2019)

There was a incident this year that spooked me and I've been feeling horrible because I thought I did all the wrong things that led into it. But I'm starting to have a new outlook on the whole thing based on some of the things I'm reading here. It could have been a lot worse. *I would like opinions on where I could have improved so please dont be shy and speak your mind. I wont be offended...*

2 young drunk/buzzed male pax, me friendly female driver. Drunk pax are very talkative. Pax tell me they are celebrating one of their b days. I say happy birthday and smile. They continue to talk, ask questions and one apologizes that they are annoying. I tell them no they are fine and just enjoying themselves, having fun.

They start talking about meeting girls, then it quickly turns to me and what I do for fun. I let them know that I work a lot, take care of my kids and have very little time to go out. They start complimenting my appearance. The more confident one in the back starts touching my arm and the one in the front shines a light on my body. This is when I start to get really worried.

The one in the back says he wants to ask me something and I say okay. He asked if we could get naked together and have sex. I tell him no and added that I'm old in my 30s and my parting is over. I told them I'm sure they will meet some girls after I drop them off. I am stating all this very politey.

The touching turned to stroking and now he was grabbing my shoulder. I stopped talking at that point. My face said it all because I couldnt even fake it anymore. They continued saying things until we reached the location. I said we're here. They stayed in my car and said they would buy me drinks if I come. I said no it's okay I have to work. They finally started exiting and as he was leaving the one in the back said to be careful there are a lot of assholes out there.


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## TemptingFate (May 2, 2019)

Mkang14 said:


> There was a incident this year that spooked me and I've been feeling horrible because I thought I did all the wrong things that led into it. But I'm starting to have a new outlook on the whole thing based on some of the things I'm reading here. It could have been a lot worse. *I would like opinions on where I could have improved so please dont be shy and speak your mind. I wont be offended...*
> 
> 2 young drunk/buzzed male pax, me friendly female driver. Drunk pax are very talkative. Pax tell me they are celebrating one of their b days. I say happy birthday and smile. They continue to talk, ask questions and one apologizes that they are annoying. I tell them no they are fine and just enjoying themselves, having fun.
> 
> ...


Why didn't you end the ride as soon as you felt uncomfortable? 
Sorry this happened to you. Surprised it doesn't happen more often.


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## ariel5466 (May 16, 2019)

Mkang14 said:


> There was a incident this year that spooked me and I've been feeling horrible because I thought I did all the wrong things that led into it. But I'm starting to have a new outlook on the whole thing based on some of the things I'm reading here. It could have been a lot worse. *I would like opinions on where I could have improved so please dont be shy and speak your mind. I wont be offended...*
> 
> 2 young drunk/buzzed male pax, me friendly female driver. Drunk pax are very talkative. Pax tell me they are celebrating one of their b days. I say happy birthday and smile. They continue to talk, ask questions and one apologizes that they are annoying. I tell them no they are fine and just enjoying themselves, having fun.
> 
> ...


I would've ended the ride and kicked them out as soon as I started to feel unsafe. Then again, I haven't experienced anything like this since I started driving, and it's a lot easier to say what you would do when you're not actually in that situation.

I understand completely why you did what you did. And I'm so sorry that happened to you.

I'm starting to think that there's something special about Richmond pax. It's so rare for me to have any problems with pax at all, even after 11pm on a Friday or Saturday night.


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## Mkang14 (Jun 29, 2019)

TemptingFate said:


> Why didn't you end the ride as soon as you felt uncomfortable?


I dont know why.



TemptingFate said:


> Sorry this happened to you. Surprised it doesn't happen more often.


I started doing friday nights more recently. For about 1.5 years before that I did commuting hours only monday through thursday, 5 to 730ish. I didnt normally deal with drunkies. I have some more minor incidents but what I described here was the worst one.



ariel5466 said:


> I'm starting to think that there's something special about Richmond pax. It's so rare for me to have any problems with pax at all, even after 11pm on a Friday or Saturday night.


I feel like I give off some vibe. Maybe in the way i talk or interact. That people think it's okay to take it further. In my mind I'm killing them with kindness. But I dont know.


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## UberBastid (Oct 1, 2016)

OMG GO! said:


> Practice. Watch FULL METAL JACKET a bunch of times and learn to channel your inner drill instructor. Dont let @@@@@@@ pax push you around.


Yes, thank you.
When you know that shit is gonna hit the fan ... be the FIRST with the MOST. Get completely psycho.
Women are _much_ better at this -- psycho comes a little more naturally to them I think.

Learn to turn fear into anger. I do it this way: I am angry that you scared me.
Now, take the anger and turn it into rage ... you can escalate yourself. 
Then, _use_ your rage.

I was in a spot once, surrounded by three that had told me that they were going to beat me. I started yelling and waving my arms around and actually hit myself in the face hard enough to make my lip split and bleed.

One of them shook his head and said to the guy next to him, "Mug is crazy. I'm not messin' with crazy."


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## Mkang14 (Jun 29, 2019)

UberBastid said:


> Yes, thank you.
> When you know that shit is gonna hit the fan ... be the FIRST with the MOST. Get completely psycho.
> Women are _much_ better at this -- psycho comes a little more naturally to them I think.
> 
> ...


I'm sure if I'm pmsing I can channel that ? .... ?‍♀ ??‍♂?‍♂


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## UberBastid (Oct 1, 2016)

Mkang14 said:


> I'm sure if I'm pmsing I can channel that ? .... ?‍♀ ??‍♂?‍♂


Use whatever you have to use to get to that RAGE STAGE.
If the rage is genuine, you'll feel no pain and have no fear.
That is a dangerous combo.


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## DoubleDee (Apr 22, 2019)

mch said:


> Not a direct answer to your question and may sound a little counter intuitive but one saftey measure is to keep $40 -$60 or so in cash in your console. If you get robbed you just say "I keep a couple $20s in the console for tolls, take them they're yours" most would be robbers are probably hard up junkies and having something to hand over will get them out of your car quicker


I keep a few hundred dollars in my console. I've happily given it to hood rats who've threatened me on more than one occasion.
I'm a proud liberal and I feel I owe it to them anyway because of my white priveledge.



mch said:


> Why not? Have you ever been robbed? I have. It wasnt while driving Uber but when I gave the cash I had in my pocket, they went away.


I was robbed and beaten in Newark for no reason by a bunch of black dudes. But I don't hold any grudges. I figure that their ancestors were probably slaves. This must be traumatizing. So I certainly could understand their actions.


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## Mkang14 (Jun 29, 2019)

mch said:


> Not a direct answer to your question and may sound a little counter intuitive but one saftey measure is to keep $40 -$60 or so in cash in your console.


I was thinking about this. I just carry 1 credit card. That way they cant take cash out. You have a point. I would think an addict wants quick cash. It makes complete sense.


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## Christinebitg (Jun 29, 2018)

Mkang14 said:


> Hi all just want to say you guys are really going beyond what I expected. Extremely good advice. I think this is very helpful to all


Thanks for starting a great thread!


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## cumonohito (Feb 13, 2018)

Wow @Mkang14, sorry to hear. drivers, specially females are certainly exposed to many things. Everyone has their own threshold as to how much they can put up with. Looks to me you have a high tolerance. You have been given many suggestions, I would have commented on personal space to the riders, jsut remind themof it. There is the safety button on the app that you can press, it is there for a reason. I wouldnt have let one of the guys sit in front if it was only the 3 of you.

Thankfully nothing happened, good luck and be safe.


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## tohunt4me (Nov 23, 2015)

Mkang14 said:


> As drivers, we need to be smart and strong when it comes to facing potential dangers. I respect and strive to be like those who know how to handle situations. No one should be okay being a scaredy cat and helpless. It's weakness of the mind, a flaw.
> 
> Now the question is how? How can a person that freezes up, fight back. Not just physicalling but overcome that mental block which takes away confidence and replaces it with fear. When the mind isn't right how can you react properly to save your life?


Training.

When you have lept through the eye of the Dragon
His gaze can not intimidate you.

Chaos can be your " Comfort Zone" .


----------



## mch (Nov 22, 2018)

DoubleDee said:


> I keep a few hundred dollars in my console. I've happily given it to hood rats who've threatened me on more than one occasion.
> I'm a proud liberal and I feel I owe it to them anyway because of my white priveledge.
> 
> 
> I was robbed and beaten in Newark for no reason by a bunch of black dudes. But I don't hold any grudges. I figure that their ancestors were probably slaves. This must be traumatizing. So I certainly could understand their actions.


Great contribution to the thread moron.


----------



## ariel5466 (May 16, 2019)

mch said:


> Great contribution to the thread moron.


Trolls are gonna troll


----------



## DoubleDee (Apr 22, 2019)

mch said:


> Great contribution to the thread moron.


Lol ... I love poking chumps like you. I win again


----------



## Mkang14 (Jun 29, 2019)

DoubleDee said:


> Lol ... I love poking idiots like you. I win again


Be nice please Mr. DoubleDee


----------



## mch (Nov 22, 2018)

DoubleDee said:


> Lol ... I love poking idiots like you. I win again


Thats because you're just as much of an idiot as I am Mr. Uber driver.


----------



## DoubleDee (Apr 22, 2019)

mch said:


> Thats because you're just as much of an idiot as I am Mr. Uber driver.


I'm pretty sure that you might be in a class by yourself.


----------



## Boca Ratman (Jun 6, 2018)

OMG GO! said:


> Practice. Watch FULL METAL JACKET a bunch of times and learn to channel your inner drill instructor. Dont let @@@@@@@ pax push you around.


It didn't end so well for Gunnery Sergeant Hartman


----------



## TwoFiddyMile (Mar 13, 2015)

Boca Ratman said:


> It didn't end so well for Gunnery Sergeant Hartman


Or Pyle.


----------



## OMG GO! (Jul 11, 2017)

Boca Ratman said:


> It didn't end so well for Gunnery Sergeant Hartman


I guess just watch out for any gomer piles and if its legal to carry where OP drives, do so! Lol


----------



## Mkang14 (Jun 29, 2019)

cumonohito said:


> Wow @Mkang14, sorry to hear. drivers, specially females are certainly exposed to many things. Everyone has their own threshold as to how much they can put up with. Looks to me you have a high tolerance. You have been given many suggestions, I would have commented on personal space to the riders, jsut remind themof it. There is the safety button on the app that you can press, it is there for a reason. I wouldnt have let one of the guys sit in front if it was only the 3 of you.
> 
> Thankfully nothing happened, good luck and be safe.


I beat myself up over these things. I wonder what's wrong with me. Because I can't just drive away from a pax or say get out. My mind thinks in extremes. I always imagine that things will get worse if I do.

I think my nice approach helps things from getting to a violent level. Which is good.

I can manage to say "can you please not do that. It makes me uncomfortable, I just need space." I think in the right tone it wont escalate.

In cases where we are now in a violent or life or death situation I'm leaning towards carrying some sort of weapon. I found my pepper spray when I was looking for my tax documents and put it in my car. I still want a stun gun. ?


----------



## Gilby (Nov 7, 2017)

Mkang14 said:


> I feel like I give off some vibe. Maybe in the way i talk or interact. That people think it's okay to take it further. In my mind I'm killing them with kindness. But I dont know.


This sounds as if you are blaming yourself for someone else's bad behaviour. Please don't. It's not you, it's them.


----------



## Mkang14 (Jun 29, 2019)

Gilby said:


> This sounds as if you are blaming yourself for someone else's bad behaviour. Please don't. It's not you, it's them.


You're right. Thank you. I didnt even pick up on the self blame until you pointed it out. No one should feel that way. I would tell someone else the same if they spoke like that.


----------



## UberBastid (Oct 1, 2016)

Mkang14 said:


> You're right. Thank you. I didnt even pick up on the self blame until you pointed it out. No one should feel that way. I would tell someone else the same if they spoke like that.


OH NO.
It IS you.
Blame YOU.

\*__*/


----------



## Mkang14 (Jun 29, 2019)

UberBastid said:


> OH NO.
> It IS you.
> Blame YOU.
> 
> \*__*/


Really? Dont start with me. Unless you have some valuable saftey advice for people who do rideshare?


----------



## UberBastid (Oct 1, 2016)

Mkang14 said:


> Really? Dont start with me. Unless you have some valuable saftey advice for people who do rideshare?


Yes dear.
Ok ... valuable safety advice?
Find a better gig.
Grow weed, its safer and pays better.


----------



## Mkang14 (Jun 29, 2019)

UberBastid said:


> Yes dear.
> Ok ... valuable safety advice?
> Find a better gig.
> Grow weed, its safer and pays better.


No. I want to do rideshare.
I dont want to grow weed.
So no suggestions. Okay.


----------



## TwoFiddyMile (Mar 13, 2015)

Idea for all women on evening/nightshift:
Get a stock picture of some big scary dude in uniform, laybe even holding a military rifle.
Once the male pax cross boundaries, tap the pic loudly at least 5 times and say "uh uh uh! Hubby is jealous and won't like that. Im meeting him a block from your drop off in 5 minutes. Hands off the merchandise!"


----------



## UberBastid (Oct 1, 2016)

Mkang14 said:


> No. I want to do rideshare.
> I dont want to grow weed.
> So no suggestions. Okay.


Are you ok?
Feel all right?
Need a snack? a Midol?


----------



## Mkang14 (Jun 29, 2019)

UberBastid said:


> Are you ok?
> Feel all right?
> Need a snack? a Midol?


Yeah I'm cool. No snacks, I try to stick to real meals. I cant take midol, I get sick.


----------



## TCar (Aug 4, 2019)

Mkang14 said:


> I beat myself up over these things. I wonder what's wrong with me. Because I can't just drive away from a pax or say get out. My mind thinks in extremes. I always imagine that things will get worse if I do.
> 
> I think my nice approach helps things from getting to a violent level. Which is good.
> 
> ...


Hey MKang, 
Sorry you were involved in a moment like that. It is easy to look back and imagine different ways of handling it, it is easy for us UP to come up with solutions to a problem which happened to someone else.

Maybe picture what happened, and practice mentally what you determine to be the best way to react. Practice often. Make it instinctual.

I am not sure exact location and what is around you, but once you see trouble ignore the map and head towards Lights (gas station, cop, subway people...)

Keep on keeping on!


----------



## Jctbay (Dec 8, 2018)

TwoFiddyMile said:


> I'm a champion of this. I get up into the person's head who's trying to get up into my head. I've been in many mentally and physically intimidating situations, both inside and outside of a taxi and an Uber. When they want to know where I live, I say where do you live? When they want to know what kind of weapon I carry, I say what what kind of weapon do you think I carry? I can give many examples is this but the bottom line in the trick is when people try and get up in your head, just turn it around on them.


Lame dude..sorry..


TwoFiddyMile said:


> I'm a champion of this. I get up into the person's head who's trying to get up into my head. I've been in many mentally and physically intimidating situations, both inside and outside of a taxi and an Uber. When they want to know where I live, I say where do you live? When they want to know what kind of weapon I carry, I say what what kind of weapon do you think I carry? I can give many examples is this but the bottom line in the trick is when people try and get up in your head, just turn it around on them.


Lame dude, sorry. Are you Michael Scott with a mix of redirection? Come on man!


----------



## Mkang14 (Jun 29, 2019)

TCar said:


> Hey MKang,
> Sorry you were involved in a moment like that. It is easy to look back and imagine different ways of handling it, it is easy for us UP to come up with solutions to a problem which happened to someone else.
> 
> Maybe picture what happened, and practice mentally what you determine to be the best way to react. Practice often. Make it instinctual.
> ...


It's okay ?... Its good to get others perspective and advice. In case there's something we miss. I think this will help all. The responses have been great


----------



## TwoFiddyMile (Mar 13, 2015)

Jctbay said:


> Lame dude..sorry..
> Lame dude, sorry. Are you Michael Scott with a mix of redirection? Come on man!


Sure!


----------



## peteyvavs (Nov 18, 2015)

A 9mm is a great equalizer.



Mkang14 said:


> I beat myself up over these things. I wonder what's wrong with me. Because I can't just drive away from a pax or say get out. My mind thinks in extremes. I always imagine that things will get worse if I do.
> 
> I think my nice approach helps things from getting to a violent level. Which is good.
> 
> ...


Check if your State has a Castle Doctrine law, here in Florida and some other States a car is considered an extension of ones home and carrying a firearm in the glove box or center console doesn't require a weapons permit.


----------



## Mkang14 (Jun 29, 2019)

peteyvavs said:


> A 9mm is a great equalizer.
> 
> 
> Check if your State has a Castle Doctrine law, here in Florida and some other States a car is considered an extension of ones home and carrying a firearm in the glove box or center console doesn't require a weapons permit.


I feel like in most situations having a gun on me is a bad idea. I cant see how to confidently shoot someone based on the position of pax and driver in the car. Possibly if they are coming towards the driver side. But in that case I can just drive off?

Also chances a bigger pax can turn the gun around on smaller driver is high I would think.

Some people are confident on their ability to use a gun but I'm not.

What about a stun gun?


----------



## peteyvavs (Nov 18, 2015)

Mkang14 said:


> I feel like in most situations having a gun on me is a bad idea. I cant see how to confidently shoot someone based on the position of pax and driver in the car. Possibly if they are coming towards the driver side. But in that case I can just drive off?
> 
> Also chances a bigger pax can turn the gun around on smaller driver is high I would think.
> 
> ...


The problem with a stun gun is if you use it on a pax that is under the influence of drugs and/or alcohol stunning them will just piss them off. I recommend taking a firearm course at a range near you and carry a 22cal handgun. A 22cal is extremely easy to use and just fire through the seat if necessary, a 22 is a great gun for you.


----------



## Christinebitg (Jun 29, 2018)

Mkang14 said:


> I feel like in most situations having a gun on me is a bad idea. I cant see how to confidently shoot someone based on the position of pax and driver in the car.


I agree with you. Personally, I think I'm better off without one. I think it would be too easy for a person to take it from me and use it against me.

I have no problem if someone else wants to carry. My belief is that law abiding, God fearing citizens should be able to own as much firepower as they want.

But that's a separate issue from whether I choose to carry or not.


----------



## UberBastid (Oct 1, 2016)

Mkang14 said:


> I feel like in most situations having a gun on me is a bad idea.


You are probably right.
Most people should not carry.

And, inside a car is a real tough spot even for highly trained people.


----------



## Mkang14 (Jun 29, 2019)

UberBastid said:


> You are probably right.
> Most people should not carry.
> 
> And, inside a car is a real tough spot even for highly trained people.


Not for ride share but for the home what do you think


----------



## UberBastid (Oct 1, 2016)

Mkang14 said:


> Not for ride share but for the home what do you think


It's what YOU think that's important.
Can you kill someone? Can you look someone in the face and squeeze the trigger? Are you _sure_?
Because if you can't, it will get taken away from you.

I have been in a situation once where I had to point a handgun at a human with every intent of killing him. I actually started squeezing the trigger and he put both hands up and started walking backward and assuring me that everything was ok - and I cancelled the shot ... but I took about half the play out of that trigger. In my head, he was already down. 
The bad guys last thought should be: "Oh shit - he has a ...." 
When you draw, the time for talking is over. Never aim and threaten. No talking. Aim and fire - one motion.

The guy that confronted me got lucky. If he'd of hesitated a split second in changing his behavior, he'd be dead right now. And my life would have changed drastically and permanently.

You don't need to answer me. It's not important that I know.
But you better know for certain that you can kill ... or don't carry the tool to do so.
The only reason for a handgun is to kill people.


----------



## observer (Dec 11, 2014)

Mkang14 said:


> There was a incident this year that spooked me and I've been feeling horrible because I thought I did all the wrong things that led into it. But I'm starting to have a new outlook on the whole thing based on some of the things I'm reading here. It could have been a lot worse. *I would like opinions on where I could have improved so please dont be shy and speak your mind. I wont be offended...*
> 
> 2 young drunk/buzzed male pax, me friendly female driver. Drunk pax are very talkative. Pax tell me they are celebrating one of their b days. I say happy birthday and smile. They continue to talk, ask questions and one apologizes that they are annoying. I tell them no they are fine and just enjoying themselves, having fun.
> 
> ...


Monday night quarterbacking doesn't help much for the previous nights game but it's good to go back so we can identify mistakes for future games.

The only thing that I would add to your story is that if I were you I would have pulled over a block away and called the cops and had them arrested for sexual assault.

These guys have probably done this before and more likely than not, will do it again.


----------



## Mkang14 (Jun 29, 2019)

observer said:


> Monday night quarterbacking doesn't help much for the previous nights game but it's good to go back so we can identify mistakes for future games.
> 
> The only thing that I would add to your story is that if I were you I would have pulled over a block away and called the cops and had them arrested for sexual assault.
> 
> These guys have probably done this before and more likely than not, will do it again.


I know. I should have.


----------



## observer (Dec 11, 2014)

Mkang14 said:


> I know. I should have.


That's why your thread is a good topic. To learn now what to do if something like this happens to any of us in the future.

My tip and story for this thread (I've told it before in the forum).

A couple years ago I was driving on a street and made a right turn almost hitting a pedestrian that was crossing between cars.

Younger guy, early 20s, kinda gangbanger looking. Headphones on completely oblivious to traffic around him. I yelled out to him, hey Idiot watch out where you are going.

He came up to my window said "what did you say?" I repeated, "I said, hey Idiot watch out where you are going".

He gets mad then starts to curse at me and reaches in the window to grab me.

What I should have done is pressed on the accelerator and gotten out of there but what did I do? Of course, I slammed the truck in to park and jumped out of the truck.

We square off in the middle of the street, blocking traffic in both directions. I repeatedly told him to back off or he was going to piss me off and I was going to hurt him.

He yells at me lifts his shirt showing off his gang tattoos on his chest and stomache, I yell back at him saying tattoos don't scare me, I've got several of my own.

I again tell him to back off or I was going to hurt him. He slowly inches his left foot towards me (that's the tip, right handers will usually stick their left foot towards you when they're going to swing at you) I keep an eye on him and when he swings I shift my head with the direction of his swing.

He still manages to hit me with enough force to knock my glasses off, cutting me slightly near my eyebrow (I now have two barely visible cuts by my eyebrows, one from this and one from an arrow).

Now, I can barely see him.

I know that he will easily win in this situation since I can't see his fists. So, I immediately grab him in a bear hug and lift him up a foot or so off the ground and body slam him on the pavement.

Then I fall on top of him, most of my body weight on top of him, my legs spread out for leverage. I take me left elbow and jam it in his neck and I whisper in his ear "OK Mfer, I told you not to piss me off, Now I'm going to hurt you".

He whimpers for his "mommy" three times.

I could have easily given him a couple elbows to the head and knocked him out but I just couldn't do it. After a few minutes, cars around us started honking at us to get out of the way. I finally let him up and he limped away, he must have hurt his hip when I body slammed him.

Would I do this again? Dunno, he could have had a knife or a gun. It just happened. But, you know what, next time he'll think twice before attacking an old fogey like me.


----------



## Mkang14 (Jun 29, 2019)

observer said:


> That's why your thread is a good topic. To learn now what to do if something like this happens to any of us in the future.
> 
> My tip and story for this thread (I've told it before in the forum).
> 
> ...


You had me on the edge of my seat with that one. Im oblivious to my surrounding. I'm just la da da in my own world ?.

I think the good thing with these experiences is it helps you prepare for the next. It also puts you on alert and to pay better attention. I feel like the next time will be different.

I actually wish more people share times they were unsure. Maybe they will get a different perspective on the situation or answers they were looking for.


----------



## observer (Dec 11, 2014)

Mkang14 said:


> You had me on the edge of my seat with that one. Im oblivious to my surrounding. I'm just la da da in my own world ?.
> 
> I think the good thing with these experiences is it helps you prepare for the next. It also puts you on alert and to pay better attention. I feel like the next time will be different.
> 
> I actually wish more people share times they were unsure. Maybe they will get a different perspective on the situation or answers they were looking for.


Although, completely factual, I have gotten better at telling the story. I actually had to cut it back a little as it was too long.

It had a happy ending but it just as easily might not have.


----------



## Mkang14 (Jun 29, 2019)

observer said:


> Although, completely factual, I have gotten better at telling the story. I actually had to cut it back a little as it was too long.
> 
> It had a happy ending but it just as easily might not have. :smiles:


Yeah I was wondering how it was headed. Glad there was a happy ending. Wannabe gangsters always try and use weapons because they cant fight. They think they're invincible ?‍♀

Best to just run them over (just kidding). Its not worth the trouble.


----------



## observer (Dec 11, 2014)

Mkang14 said:


> Yeah I was wondering how it was headed. Glad there was a happy ending. Wannabe gangsters always try and use weapons because they cant fight. They think they're invincible ?‍♀
> 
> Best to just run them over (just kidding). Its not worth the trouble.


I think we are all products of our upbringing. I grew up in an area that went from good solid middle class to bad, especially in my later teens we had a lot of gangbangers in near by neighborhoods.

Even though we ourselves weren't a gang, we neighborhood kids looked out for each other. As the oldest, I tried to keep them all out of trouble. That's where I developed my RBF.

When I had my own kids I moved out of my old neighborhood. They grew up in a nice middle class neighborhood without any of my worries growing up.

Recently, we've moved back to my old neighborhood. It's been slowly gentrifying. In 4-5 years it will be solidly middle class here once again.


----------



## Mkang14 (Jun 29, 2019)

observer said:


> I think we are all products of our upbringing. I grew up in an area that went from good solid middle class to bad, especially in my later teens we had a lot of gangbangers in near by neighborhoods.
> 
> Even though we ourselves weren't a gang, we neighborhood kids looked out for each other. As the oldest, I tried to keep them all out of trouble. That's where I developed my RBF.
> 
> ...


Great point. 100% agree.

I grew up extremly sheltered. Took public transportation once in my life and had to be sneaky about it but still got caught by my uncle. If I go outside to get the mail my dad screams to come inside if the neighbors sons are out ?. We were middleclass but didnt get to experience that which would give us street smarts


----------



## Gtown Driver (Aug 26, 2018)

GoldenGoji said:


> I think it's hard to give advice on this sort of topic since people are different, we all have different ways of thinking and abilities, as well as different threshold for stress levels, where when crossed, would send one to a panic and inability to think and act. For example, someone might say you need to fight back against a guy who is attacking you. This might work for a man who can match the attackers power, but what if you're a granny who never even lifted a dumbell in her life?? Different strategies, different people.
> 
> Anyway, I'll just share my personal opinion on the matter, but please don't take it too seriously.
> 
> ...


The best way to fight is to not fight. That's what you learn with any martial art. The more ways you know how to not fight, the better you will be at fighting. You will have a clearer mind when you do need to fight than be overly thinking about how aggressive you need to be and what attack you need to plan.

There's no exact best one style for self defense although I do believe taking general self defense/CQC classes will help anyone be more prepared for a physical attacker or someone holding a knife rather close to them. In rideshare specifically, pulling out a gun to deal with someone within a foot or 2 of you in a compact car IMO generally has more liability than worth. If they're not afraid and pull that gun away from you or pull a gun on you first, you're not getting that gun out without getting shot yourself any way. The majority of rideshare pax attacks on video are behind the back pax attacks where a gun may not be the best option, especially since they're already behind you to watch you pull for it. If they have a gun also, they're probably pointing it at you first any way.

Luckily most of these rideshare attackers are just drunk brotatos who are pissed off after getting off work and generally don't have weapons on them. Which is why awareness and deescalation are your best shots before any self defense or a gun.

Like you said, strength/size is an issue and that's why you generally shouldn't piss off people who are way bigger than you unless you either know exactly what you can hit or twist to bring them down or have a gun on you. Which the problem with guns is if you use unnecessary force on someone who was unarmed (even if they were big and huge) you're probably going to be in as much or more trouble as the big guy who "wanted" to attack you.

The issue with America is it's a country where nearly everyone DOES have access to a gun if they need to have that type of power to beat the bad guys that bother them or threaten their lives. Well, what happens if you end up visiting or move to a country like Japan or Australia? Can't carry guns around there and you might end up dealing with someone that may still want to test you at a bar or during road rage or something of that sort. Can't just just pull out the quick equalizer anymore.

In those countries you just have to use the same stuff that will help you in any other country including America. Just don't be that guy looking to be confrontational all of the time and learn to deescalate. Preferably also learn some form of self defense or get into a martial art just so you have something more going for you than just cowering when someone approaches you or flailing your arms bad and getting taken down or punched out.

In the end, the most important thing a martial art can teach you is confidence. It shows you that you can do things that you didn't know you were capable of without having to give up your day job and such. They also improve your mindset and help show you that it starts with the mind and being aware of your surroundings to not get hurt. The life lessons and discipline you learn are even stronger than the actual fighting and self defense.


----------



## ariel5466 (May 16, 2019)

@Mkang14, do you have a dash cam?


----------



## Mkang14 (Jun 29, 2019)

ariel5466 said:


> @Mkang14, do you have a dash cam?


I dont. ?


----------



## ariel5466 (May 16, 2019)

Mkang14 said:


> I dont. ?


Get one. Seriously. I think it's why my pax almost always behave themselves.


----------



## TheDevilisaParttimer (Jan 2, 2019)

Mkang14 said:


> As drivers, we need to be smart and strong when it comes to facing potential dangers. I respect and strive to be like those who know how to handle situations. No one should be okay being a scaredy cat and helpless. It's weakness of the mind, a flaw.
> 
> Now the question is how? How can a person that freezes up, fight back. Not just physicalling but overcome that mental block which takes away confidence and replaces it with fear. When the mind isn't right how can you react properly to save your life?


Idk I'm a fairly big guy. I usually just ask them if they like having teeth. End conversation


----------



## UberBastid (Oct 1, 2016)

Mkang14 said:


> I dont. ?


I had a sign that I put up. "For our protection, this vehicle under audio/visual surveillance" 
Now, I did NOT have a cam in the car.

The rear view mirror in my car had a small hole in it, and a green light to one side. If asked I would point to it and say, "State of the art. It beams a signal right up to the cloud. Nobody can pull a chip and destroy evidence."

It worked just fine. Learn to bluff -- that is one skill that works in a confrontation.

But, Ariel is right. Just the existence of a cam makes people more likely to behave themselves. Or the _belief_ that there is the existence of a cam.

Until you can get your cam ... get a sign, and a story. Better than nothing.


----------



## VanGuy (Feb 15, 2019)

Mkang14 said:


> My first 1 star about 2 years ago I confronted a guy for smoking weed and he got upset. At first I was talking back and then he got louder. That's when I lowered my tone and just said okay. When I got a chance to say something I told him hes scarying me and to his credit he immediately stopped. No shame in swallowing pride to deescalate
> 
> This was shocking! I was going to ask my senior director about setting up a self defense class. He had talked about it in the past. Is there any type of defense class that would be more beneficial?
> 
> ...


Didn't read the 3 pages in the middle yet. I remember back in Air Cadets long ago, the boys had to line up on the wall while girls practiced. I was the only one able to keep a grip when she pinched behind my adam's apple. Worked to my benefit later. ?


----------



## observer (Dec 11, 2014)

Cold Fusion said:


> George Washington fought many battles by retreating.
> he knew if he stayed and fought,
> the British would decimate his Continental army.
> 
> ...


He who runs away lives to fight another day.



GreatWhiteHope said:


> I guess you just have to know the consequences of non action and force yourself
> 
> 
> Bro we need stories from you
> ...


Agreed, as you have experiences good or bad, you learn from them or at least you should. That is why this thread is important, to learn from others experiences before we have our own experience.


----------



## GreatWhiteHope (Sep 18, 2018)

observer said:


> He who runs away lives to fight another day.
> 
> 
> Agreed, as you have experiences good or bad, you learn from them or at least you should. That is why this thread is important, to learn from others experiences before we have our own experience.


I mean how can you tho?

there's certain signs of behavior and like a certain distance from you that you can't allow someone to get within - and not have your guard up.

How could someone learn those things without experiencing it first


----------



## UberBastid (Oct 1, 2016)

GreatWhiteHope said:


> I mean how can you tho?
> 
> there's certain signs of behavior and like a certain distance from you that you can't allow someone to get within - and not have your guard up.
> 
> How could someone learn those things without experiencing it first


Or, as my father once said as mom was patching up a 12 year old me.
"There's nothing like taking an ass-whippin to learn how to deliver an ass-whippin."


----------



## observer (Dec 11, 2014)

GreatWhiteHope said:


> I mean how can you tho?
> 
> there's certain signs of behavior and like a certain distance from you that you can't allow someone to get within - and not have your guard up.
> 
> How could someone learn those things without experiencing it first


There are many things that can be learned to anticipate something happening.

For instance in my post, the other guy kept inching closer and closer with his left foot closest to me. People are mostly right handed, in a fight they will almost never lead with their right foot because their punches will be weak.

Try it. Try throwing a punch with your left foot forward and then try it with your right foot forward. There's no comparison.

Since I knew he was leading with his left foot and inching closer, I knew he was going to take a swing. I anticipated what he was up to and swung my face with his punch to lessen the impact of his fist.

People that have never been in fights might not know about the leading left foot and get caught by surprise.


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## Mkang14 (Jun 29, 2019)

Bump. For Safety tip.


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## Lissetti (Dec 20, 2016)

Mkang14 said:


> Bump. For Safety tip.


Especially with Halloween approaching. Drivers...regardless of gender, many people are going to be getting into your cars with masks and disguises on..

*Be Aware...*


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## observer (Dec 11, 2014)

I've got a few more. This one happened a couple nights ago.

I have a habit of going to a gas station store a block away from my house at all hours of day and night, sometimes as late as 1 am.

Thursday night, I was walking there bout 9 at night, well after dark. A couple hundred feet away from the store I hear a guy on a skateboard coming up behind me.

I turn to look at him and in the darkness I can see he has a ski mask fully covering his head.

I continue walking toward the store even as he calls out to me. He catches up to me and starts mumbling something, I say what? I quickly realize that I need to get to the front of the store where there are more lights, more people and cameras.

I continue walking toward the store. When I reach the door I half open it and ask him calmly what he wants.

Turns out he was trying to deliver a warning about something a nephew was doing that he didn't like (nothing illegal or anything like that). Said he was using the ski mask to be anonymous (yea, once I realized it was my nephews friend I recognized him by his skateboard  )

If he attacked me I could step in the store and hold the door closed. I could step in and if he followed and then slam the door on him. I could have also kicked away his skateboard, reached out grabbed his ski mask and pulled it down blinding him completely.

Luckily he was just some dumb kid trying to deliver a message.

I've got a few more tips to share later.


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## AcSlater (Oct 22, 2019)

Kill em with kindness , then give a 1 Star and move on. I learned from a veteran driver that it’s best to agree with idiots and just drive a bit faster so you won’t have to deal with em.


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## ariel5466 (May 16, 2019)

Lissetti said:


> many people are going to be getting into your cars with masks and disguises on..


I decided on a hard rule - no masks on faces when getting into or inside my car. Only had to ask one person last night to remove a mask and they understood and were cool about it.


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