# What do you do when a passenger farts in your car?



## Tenzo (Jan 25, 2016)

What do you do when a passenger passes gas in your car?


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## tohunt4me (Nov 23, 2015)

Tenzo said:


> What do you do when a passenger passes gas in your car?


My passengers don't fart .

( secret,if you scare them just enough the rectum tightens up)

( secret,scare them too much there will be cleaning)


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## ND379 (Mar 29, 2016)

I almost always have my window rolled down and I use febreeze clean linen air vent things. I've probably had lots of farts in my car and not even noticed it.


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## easteuropeboy (Apr 9, 2016)

Numero 5 yes yes


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## Fauxknight (Aug 12, 2014)

Farts happen, you probably don't notice when most of them occur so why freak out over the few you do notice. Roll the window if it's a bad one, or do whatever you need to do.


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## lyft_audi (Mar 3, 2016)

Normally if it gags one or more people in the car, I roll the windows up and lock them... 

Oh wait, I misread that... I thought you were asking what I do when I fart in the car... My bad.


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## TomInVegas (Apr 18, 2016)

Tenzo said:


> What do you do when a passenger passes gas in your car?


Use it as a prime opportunity to vent your own pent-up SBD from your large intestine into the common space so as to mix it in with theirs and accordingly lay the blame squarely at their feet (or buttocks, in this case), setting the stage for your rightful and justified demand for a hardship tip and other treble damages.
;-)


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## Another Uber Driver (May 27, 2015)

lyft_audi said:


> I thought you were asking what I do when I fart in the car...


_*IMMEDIATELY*_ accuse the passenger. If the passenger accuses you first, remind him that "He who smelt it, dealt it".


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## UberXTampa (Nov 20, 2014)

Sometimes the smell comes from outside in certain streets when you are around some sewage vents. it is not always the pax. But if they do, just air the car for a moment


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## Another Uber Driver (May 27, 2015)

UberXTampa said:


> Sometimes the smell comes from outside in certain streets when you are around some sewage vents.


Try driving by a sewage treatment plant.

Then there is the Trash Transfer Station that is in the Ward in which I live. On a typical Washington summer day (not dissimilar to summer days in Florida), if what there is for wind is in the wrong direction, my neighbourhood becomes quite pungent.


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## MikesUber (Oct 23, 2015)

Fart back in response as is customary..

Wait no that's definitely wrong I think


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## Tedgey (Jan 29, 2016)

I clear the air with a simple two word statement:

"One of us farted and it wasn't me."


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## lyft_audi (Mar 3, 2016)

Tedgey said:


> I clear the air with a simple two word statement:
> 
> "One of us farted and it wasn't me."


That's more than two words...


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## RIUber (Feb 9, 2016)

Take a big whiff and say "bet I can guess what you had for dinner"


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## RHutch187 (Mar 8, 2016)

1.. 2... 3... 4... I declare a fart war!


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## Tedgey (Jan 29, 2016)

lyft_audi said:


> That's more than two words...


No. That's only one


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## UberXTampa (Nov 20, 2014)

I didn't know the new iPhone can make iFart smell! Wow!!!


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## oscardelta (Sep 30, 2015)

Beat the shit out of them.


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## UberXTampa (Nov 20, 2014)

Was it this guy:


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## UTX1 (Dec 7, 2015)

UberXTampa said:


> Was it this guy:


UberXTampa, I'm ashamed to admit it, but that was funny. hallelujah !

Thinking back to when we were kids, there really wasn't anything funnier
than the sound of someone passing gas, the louder and longer all the better.

From the bottom of my heart (or where ever), I thank you.

oh, I almost forgot....The topic was pax farts in the car, what to do ?

I just ignore it.

Now, if the pax queefs, that's altogether different. Now we got ourselves a rodeo !


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## RHutch187 (Mar 8, 2016)

UTX1 said:


> UberXTampa, I'm ashamed to admit it, but that was funny. hallelujah !
> 
> Thinking back to when we were kids, there really wasn't anything funnier
> than the sound of someone passing gas, the louder and longer all the better.
> ...


hell I'm 34 and still laugh my @$$ off at fart jokes... Pun intended.


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## TomInVegas (Apr 18, 2016)

RHutch187 said:


> 1.. 2... 3... 4... I declare a fart war!


A "fartwa", no doubt.


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## shiftydrake (Dec 12, 2015)

When you hear it..........be quiet.........then ask were you talking out of your ass ?


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## TomInVegas (Apr 18, 2016)

Since intestinal gas has a composition of being lighter than air, it will lift the car a bit and add to good gas mileage. So maybe a blessing in disguise, hmmmm!!??


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## KGB7 (Apr 23, 2015)

Fart back, lock the windows and play this tune.


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## Squirming Like A Toad (Apr 7, 2016)

I've never been aware of anyone passing gas in my car. I'd probably just not react to it, being they might be doing it just to shock me or something so if I don't react there is no rewards.

The grossest bodily thing I ever encountered in the back of my van when driving is fingering. Guy fingering a girl in a skirt, and I could hear all the gory details. These were mature adults too. I was a little concerned I would have to clean, and how am I to explain to Uber what I was cleaning? What word would I use for that? Fortunately there was nothing left behind.


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## SeeTeeDee (May 10, 2016)

Squirming Like A Toad said:


> The grossest bodily thing I ever encountered in the back of my van when driving is fingering. Guy fingering a girl in a skirt, and I could hear all the gory details. These were mature adults too. I was a little concerned I would have to clean, and how am I to explain to Uber what I was cleaning? What word would I use for that? Fortunately there was nothing left behind.


Oh it's there alright. Gross.


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## ChortlingCrison (Mar 30, 2016)

Tenzo said:


> What do you do when a passenger passes gas in your car?


Yell "fire in the hole".


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## Fireguy50 (Nov 23, 2015)

My sunroof is popped for every trip, only close it occasionally on the interstate at high speeds. Smells and temperature are easier to control


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## Fireguy50 (Nov 23, 2015)

Squirming Like A Toad said:


> The grossest bodily thing I ever encountered in the back of my van when driving is fingering. Guy fingering a girl in a skirt, and I could hear all the gory details. These were mature adults too. I was a little concerned I would have to clean, and how am I to explain to Uber what I was cleaning? What word would I use for that? Fortunately there was nothing left behind.


Happened to me Friday night, I got it on dash cam video. She kept reaching up trying to turn off my new "mood lighting" which is really only to improve video quality. I didn't hear any squishy thrusting noise, I had the radio on.

There was a small piece of tissue left behind. Not sure if he grabbed one, if it was left from a prior PAX, or some toilet paper fell out of her panties!

And don't worry "pictures or it didn't happen" haters. I'll find the right moment when her head is covering his.


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## Fireguy50 (Nov 23, 2015)

Squirming Like A Toad said:


> I've never been aware of anyone passing gas in my car. I'd probably just not react to it, being they might be doing it just to shock me or something so if I don't react there is no rewards.
> 
> The grossest bodily thing I ever encountered in the back of my van when driving is fingering. Guy fingering a girl in a skirt, and I could hear all the gory details. These were mature adults too. I was a little concerned I would have to clean, and how am I to explain to Uber what I was cleaning? What word would I use for that? Fortunately there was nothing left behind.


Lovers caught on dash cam


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