# All right meow, hand over your license and registration



## lymmis (Jan 29, 2015)

Thought experiment - let's say you were planning on leaving Uber over the rate cuts and always wanted to see how much you could (benevolently) **** with the PAX before your ratings were affected to the point of getting banned. What would you do?

Benevolently = funny/weird/dadaist, *not* mean/scary/traumatic. For example: 

The prank from Super Troopers where they substitute "meow" for "now" as many times as they can.
Every time someone gets in the car, play a mixtape that plays only "What's New, Pussycat?" over and over and over, a la John Mulaney. 
Have a thermos of soup in the front seat, ask them if they want some. 
Mispronounce really obvious names ("So, how do you say that - sa-RAH?).
Have a mannequin belted into the back seat.
I'm not saying I'm going to _do_ any of your suggestions. I'm just saying I... might. (I have signed up for this forum specifically to ask this question.)


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## Lidman (Nov 13, 2014)

I think for the more pretentious pax, blast the song "Ballroom Blitz" thru the speakers, and that'll really rock their world. And for young male adults play "YMCA".


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## just drive (Oct 29, 2014)

Ask them to scratch my back. Then tell them I became itchy after the previous pax asked me to scratch their back.


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## Uber-Doober (Dec 16, 2014)

Lidman said:


> I think for the more pretentious pax, blast the song "Ballroom Blitz" thru the speakers, and that'll really rock their world. And for young male adults play "YMCA".


^^^
Or maybe Putting On The Ritz by Taco.


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## just drive (Oct 29, 2014)

Get on the cell phone with earpiece and talk loud. Like the cab driver in the zohan


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## just drive (Oct 29, 2014)

Hello pax, just wanna let you know I work for a call center while driving I hope it's ok. Hold on I have a call. Than you for calling main street sex shop how can I help you....


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## scrurbscrud (Sep 11, 2014)

lymmis said:


> Thought experiment - let's say you were planning on leaving Uber over the rate cuts and always wanted to see how much you could (benevolently) **** with the PAX before your ratings were affected to the point of getting banned. What would you do?
> 
> Benevolently = funny/weird/dadaist, *not* mean/scary/traumatic. For example:
> 
> ...


My first reactions to adversity. Have some fun with it if you want. Pax imho are there strictly for my own entertainment, because the pay is too shitty to consider it providing a service. Entertainment is the only remaining quotient, albeit a short one or in my case, past entertainment.

Tell them you're doing a story about Uber driver manipulations. Then start a little litany of what suits you.

It can be quite innocent and all done by 'third party' quotations. Like from here. Chances are it would never get back to be pinned on you. And I would never say anything unless a pax asks how you like driving, which at least 1/2 do. The others are probably just snickering at how ignorant you are for driving for shit for pay and keep their mouths shut, knowing you're an idiot as a fact, and they are abusing you for it.

When you try to cut a jugular, it's best done from angles that can't be seen.


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## UberBlackPr1nce (Dec 28, 2014)

lymmis said:


> Thought experiment - let's say you were planning on leaving Uber over the rate cuts and always wanted to see how much you could (benevolently) **** with the PAX before your ratings were affected to the point of getting banned. What would you do?
> 
> Benevolently = funny/weird/dadaist, *not* mean/scary/traumatic. For example:
> 
> ...


Man, I just visualized everything you said and I can see me doing it. The soup comment had me rolling. "Would you like some soup" ? "No? Welp! More for me? I can see the pax face in my head right now. And the whole time the mannequin is strapped in the back naked with gloves & a hat on all while what's new Pussycat cat is playing in the back ground. OMg, I should recreate a youtube skit for that.


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## Uber-Doober (Dec 16, 2014)

just drive said:


> Hello pax, just wanna let you know I work for a call center while driving I hope it's ok. Hold on I have a call. Than you for calling main street sex shop how can I help you....


^^^
Or you could start talking about the lethal doses of carbon monoxide that unfortunately the dealer can't find where it's coming from.


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## Crusty Spooge Rag (Jan 28, 2015)

I'll just do what I normally do. Rip a lot of ass, and when they complain, blame them for it.


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## Uber-Doober (Dec 16, 2014)

HAAAAH. ^^^^


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## NightRider (Jul 23, 2014)

Apologize in advance for **** **** having Tourette Syndrome


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## Goober (Oct 16, 2014)

My favorite is the late-night foreign accent.


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## WhyUberring (May 12, 2015)

just drive said:


> Hello pax, just wanna let you know I work for a call center while driving I hope it's ok. Hold on I have a call. Than you for calling main street sex shop how can I help you....


I was reading this while sipping my coffee. There is coffee all over for the uncontrollable laughing. Thank you!!


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## Emp9 (Apr 9, 2015)

take off my shirt during the ride and ask if the want to rub my hairy belly.


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## KSTEPH (May 4, 2015)




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## Amsoil Uber Connect (Jan 14, 2015)

It's MeHow !!! Get it right Damit !

I'd prefer you play this. 



Video, 




With Lyrics, 




More noteable favs, Divide, Superstition, Destroyer, The other Side, Beyond.


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