# Is an out gay man going to be safe while driving for Uber or Lyft ?



## Ride-Share-Risk-Manager (Mar 16, 2017)

We have a friend of ours who approached our driver group and wanted advice on driving Uber and Lyft part time. Rick is a great guy, very friendly, good driving record and has already been accepted by Uber and Lyft. The challenge that other drivers and I see is that Rick is a very out and somewhat flamboyant gay man. He works as a hairdresser and waxologist. He thought that driving for Uber and Lyft might help him drum up some new customers for his salon and help him make some short term cash. Our concern is that Rick can be very flirtatious with other straight men in our driver group and we are worried that he might do that while driving. We just don't think that he will be safe driving in Northern NJ with some of the hoodlums that get in our cars. But also, with drunk frat boys and guys coming out of bars that will not take kindly to a gay man flirting with them or just being himself. I think he will be a big hit with women passengers, but we are concerned about his safety out there on the road especially as he plans to drive nights and weekends.

I just thought I would put it out there to see what other drivers think and I am asking Rick to read this site and the feedback from UP posters. Thoughtful and insightful responses and questions based on experiences of other gay male drivers would be most appreciated.


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## LA Husky (Jun 28, 2018)

So is this the "coming out" thread?


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## Ride-Share-Risk-Manager (Mar 16, 2017)

LA Husky said:


> So is this the "coming out" thread?


No, its a serious question about the safety of a gay man who is part of our driver community and a good friend who we don't want to see being hurt or injured or killed because he is an out gay man and he picks up the wrong people.


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## 25rides7daysaweek (Nov 20, 2017)

No thongs or glitter and don't hit on paxes.. he will be fine..


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## Merc7186 (Jul 8, 2017)

If he can keep his personality in check, he could be fine. Hitting on pax is going to lead to a quick road to deactivation. He should be prepared for bad ratings from homophobic people but otherwise should be fine


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## Texie Driver (Sep 5, 2018)

Ride-Share-Risk-Manager said:


> Thank you for the juvenile response to a serious question that we put out there looking for a thoughtful or real world experience response.
> 
> No, its a serious question about the safety of a gay man who is part of our driver community and a good friend who we don't want to see being hurt or injured or killed because he is an out gay man and he picks up the wrong people.


the "wrong people"
smh
so if a female rejects the flirtations and advances of a man in whom she is in no way interested
she is the "wrong person"
it isn't the driver engaging in
wrong behavior.

?



Merc7186 said:


> If he can keep his personality in check, he could be fine. Hitting on pax is going to lead to a quick road to deactivation. He should be prepared for bad ratings from homophobic people but otherwise should be fine


sorry but downrating a driver for being inappropriate makes the pax a "homophobe"?
how?


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## Ride-Share-Risk-Manager (Mar 16, 2017)

By wrong people I mean violent, abusive men who are passengers in his car and who could react badly to having a gay man driving them. If Rick's friendliness or appears flirtatious to them we are concerned what some passengers could do, especially when they have been drinking. I have heard quite a few men as passengers go off on homophobic rants in my car. I typically tell them that two of my kids are gay, which normally shuts them up.


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## SoFlaDriver (Aug 11, 2018)

I can't speak for the North Jersey culture and whether some homophobic macho dudes might create problems just because of his personality or lisp or whatever it is that makes it obvious he's gay, but seriously, if he can't keep himself from flirting or trying to arrange hookups with pax, he shouldn't be in this biz. It's a serious violation of policy for both Lyft and Uber, and that goes for straights or gays or furries or whatever.

I think as long as he conducts himself professionally, treats passengers as customers, and focuses on getting them from point A to B, he'll probably be fine. Maybe I'd counsel him to be a little less chatty with those who seem the type to possibly have something against gays, but as an out gay man who has spent his entire life dealing with this issue on a daily basis, he probably already knows how to handle himself and manage his behavior in such encounters.

But as for flirting, no. If he can't restrain himself from that, then this probably isn't the business for him.


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## Steve_TX (Feb 2, 2016)

It's just as safe for gay men, straight men, gay women, or straight women to be ride share drivers. If a driver gets too flirtatious, or insists on taking a conversation too personal, they'll upset, offend, or anger pax on occasion, they get a deserved 1*, and possibly reported for improper conduct. All drivers are in danger of that, regardless of sexual preference.

Ride share drivers are better served with having the expectation of being *just* the driver for their pax, nothing more, nothing less. Use common sense and social skills to determine if a pax wants to talk or discuss anything. If a driver does not know when to not talk, they'll not last long in the ride share game.

Read this current thread on when to talk and when to shut up:
https://uberpeople.net/threads/when-to-talk-when-to-shut-up.285024/#post-4325916


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## Texie Driver (Sep 5, 2018)

SoFlaDriver said:


> I can't speak for the North Jersey culture and whether some homophobic macho dudes might create problems just because of his personality or lisp or whatever it is that makes it obvious he's gay, but seriously, if he can't keep himself from flirting or trying to arrange hookups with pax, he shouldn't be in this biz. It's a serious violation of policy for both Lyft and Uber, and that goes for straights or gays or furries or whatever.
> 
> I think as long as he conducts himself professionally, treats passengers as customers, and focuses on getting them from point A to B, he'll probably be fine. Maybe I'd counsel him to be a little less chatty with those who seem the type to possibly have something against gays, but as an out gay man who has spent his entire life dealing with this issue on a daily basis, he probably already knows how to handle himself and manage his behavior in such encounters.
> 
> But as for flirting, no. If he can't restrain himself from that, then this probably isn't the business for him.


i agree with most of this except the continued conflation of "don't want to be hit on by my uber driver" and "homophobe".


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## Ride-Share-Risk-Manager (Mar 16, 2017)

SoFlaDriver said:


> I can't speak for the North Jersey culture and whether some homophobic macho dudes might create problems just because of his personality or lisp or whatever it is that makes it obvious he's gay, but seriously, if he can't keep himself from flirting or trying to arrange hookups with pax, he shouldn't be in this biz. It's a serious violation of policy for both Lyft and Uber, and that goes for straights or gays or furries or whatever.
> 
> I think as long as he conducts himself professionally, treats passengers as customers, and focuses on getting them from point A to B, he'll probably be fine. Maybe I'd counsel him to be a little less chatty with those who seem the type to possibly have something against gays, but as an out gay man who has spent his entire life dealing with this issue on a daily basis, he probably already knows how to handle himself and manage his behavior in such encounters.
> 
> But as for flirting, no. If he can't restrain himself from that, then this probably isn't the business for him.


Thank you for a thoughtful response. Happy to hear similar from others on UP.


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## wontgetfooledagain (Jul 3, 2018)

First, let him know that he won't make much money driving for Uber. National average is somewhere around $8 per hour after expenses.


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## SoFlaDriver (Aug 11, 2018)

Texie Driver said:


> i agree with most of this except the continued conflation of "don't want to be hit on by my uber driver" and "homophobe".


I have no clue what you're talking about. I did not by any means conflate those two things. I thought I was pretty clear about how some people might have issues with the driver's personality if he came across as obviously gay, and yes, someone who had a problem with that and that alone is clearly homophobic.

I thought I was also pretty clear about flirting and hitting on pax being a no-no, regardless of one's sexual orientation.
I do not feel it would be homophobic for a passenger to object to being hit on by someone of the same sex in a rideshare situation. It is simply wrong and unprofessional and against policy and that passenger would be completely justified in being uncomfortable and upset about it. It's not an issue of homophobia at that point, it's just a violation of expected social norms in that situation.


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## Boca Ratman (Jun 6, 2018)

That's not what he said.


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## Cableguynoe (Feb 14, 2017)

Ride-Share-Risk-Manager said:


> Our concern is that Rick can be very flirtatious with other straight men in our driver group and we are worried that he might do that while driving.


Would a flirtatious woman driver be safe driving for UBer?

The results will probably be different, but the answer is no and you know it.
If he can't be professional, then I won't feel bad for any bad results of his stupid actions.


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## emdeplam (Jan 13, 2017)

Ride-Share-Risk-Manager Rideshare welcomes all types, just be respectful and courteous!

I think you will be fine so good luck out there. No reason you can't be proud of who you are, but also remember to provide your passengers personal space.


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## jgiun1 (Oct 16, 2017)

I give him a week.....then either in a fight, deactivated or both


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## HotUberMess (Feb 25, 2018)

He's probably as safe as women drivers which is to mean _not very safe and he should arm himself. _


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## Jo3030 (Jan 2, 2016)

My rule is to not even talk to passengers and NEVER EVER EVER try to get a phone number.
I will take a phone # if a lady gives it to me but I WILL NEVER ask or imply or any of that.
So in general terms, if your friend is nice, asks the location where going and keeps to himself, that would be best overall.
This is just my prior experience, nothing to do w/ sexual orientation or anything of that sort.
I've been dinged before for seemingly innocuous conversation so I adapted to not even talking unless talked to.
Even still, I self censor and don't really say everything I am thinking. It makes for a better overall experience.

One of the biggest pet peeves for riders is a chatty driver so your friend MUST use body language cues to see if people even want to talk.


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## HotUberMess (Feb 25, 2018)

Jo3030 said:


> One of the biggest pet peeves for riders is a chatty driver so your friend MUST use body language cues to see if people even want to talk.


Every market is different but I *really* feel my audience out before launching into conversation.


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## RoWode12 (May 12, 2018)

Gay, straight, bi, or whatever—don’t hit on pax and conduct oneself in a professional and respectful manner.

It’s not okay for straight men to aggressively hit on female pax; nor is it okay for gay men to do the same with male pax.

He needs to have self control.

Otherwise, pax will appreciate a fun personality, clean car and great driving. Sex has nothing to do with any of that.

Btw: if he can’t maintain self control, a macho, insecure straight dude may rightfully kick his rear end...then have him deactivated for sexual harassment. That’s all on him.


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## Ride-Share-Risk-Manager (Mar 16, 2017)

Rick showed my wife the car he plans to use for ride share. He decked it out beautifully with a vintage Lyft sign and put some coordinated accessories and throw pillows in the car. My wife loved it when she saw it. But then she sent a few pics to us and we just put the kebosh on it. We recommended that he not drive Lyft in NNJ as there are way too many shared rides into the hood filled with thugs and we are concerned about his safety. We also told him that his car should be clean and modern and safe but if it screams gay fabulous then that could be problematic. My son (who is gay) told Rick, when it comes to driving ride share "don't ask, don't tell, don't accessorize !!"


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## RoWode12 (May 12, 2018)

Ride-Share-Risk-Manager said:


> Rick showed my wife the car he plans to use for ride share. He decked it out beautifully with a vintage Lyft sign and put some coordinated accessories and throw pillows in the car. My wife loved it when she saw it. But then she sent a few pics to us and we just put the kebosh on it. We recommended that he not drive Lyft in NNJ as there are way too many shared rides into the hood filled with thugs and we are concerned about his safety. We also told him that his car should be clean and modern and safe but if it screams gay fabulous then that could be problematic. My son (who is gay) told Rick, when it comes to driving ride share "don't ask, don't tell, don't accessorize !!"


He needs to know his area and keep it simple. Any 'accessorizing' will quickly be ruined by paxholes. Any extra money spent will destroy his tiny profits.

He needs to find another job/hobby/career/volunteer gig, where his talents and personality shines. This will not be it.


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## MHR (Jul 23, 2017)

Ride-Share-Risk-Manager said:


> My son (who is gay) told Rick, when it comes to driving ride share "don't ask, don't tell, don't accessorize !!"


Probably the soundest advice Rick will get.


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## Jo3030 (Jan 2, 2016)

HotUberMess said:


> Every market is different but I *really* feel my audience out before launching into conversation.
> 
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Exactly!


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## Kodyhead (May 26, 2015)

I personally dont have issues and LGBT is one of the better categories of people for me for tips as I joke around a lot and they tend to have a great sense of humor.

I dont see the majority having an issue with it, if kept professional but in think it might depend on the market. I live and work in south florida which is like the Jerusalem of LGBT lol. 

Dont know how they measure it but someone have claimed that we have the largest city with LGBT in Wilton manors, fl as well.


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## SEAL Team 5 (Dec 19, 2015)

Ride-Share-Risk-Manager said:


> Our concern is that Rick can be very flirtatious with other straight men.


That's a great concern to have. I'm betting within a week, your friend Rick will either be deactivated for sexual harassment or pummeled by someone that has had enough of his "very flirtatious with other straight men" attitude. Don't forget that just as Rick has the right to be who he wants to be others have that same exact right to be free from same sex sexual harassment.

Question for you. Why is your username Risk Manager?


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## Cableguynoe (Feb 14, 2017)

HotUberMess said:


> Every market is different but I *really* feel my audience out before launching into conversation.
> 
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Very impressive Patty!


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## Ezridax (Aug 3, 2017)

If he’s able to not flirt, I doubt he’d have a problem.


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## Cableguynoe (Feb 14, 2017)

Ezridax said:


> If he's able to not flirt, I doubt he'd have a problem.


If I was able to not flirt, I would have less problems


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## Christinebitg (Jun 29, 2018)

"sorry but downrating a driver for being inappropriate makes the pax a "homophobe"?
how"

It doesn't make the rider a homophobic person.

HOWEVER, what the comment really was about was something else. Listen to me for a minute, and then go back and read it again if you want to.

The issue is: There are people who are homophobic. Worse yet, some men are intensely and violently hostile to gays. You can call them whatever you want. The terminology doesn't concern me.

The problem is what happens when this inexperienced driver flirts with one of them. I think getting 1* may be the least of his worries.

To the Original Poster, I would say to tell your friend to only pick up riders in the "gay-bor-hood" until he's sure he can restrain his outgoing and impulsive behaviors. (He'll know what the term that's in quotes means.)

Besides, gay men tip other gay men _really_ well.

Christine


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## Getmeoutofhere (Aug 8, 2018)

I drive in north jersey it isnt as bad as all that people are decent enough. And by in large it is NOT the hoodlums (as you put it) ,who are the biggest issue but wall street wannabes and euro soccer hooligans, i pick up pax in some of the worst places and they are fine often they get screwed into paying more because of surge but they are just as likely to be old ladies going to dialysis, or people headed to work as anywhere else. HE SHOULD NOT FLIRT WITH PAX. This is not that hard. Avoid driving very early on the weekends if he is really concerned that tends to be the dodgiest time.


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## emdeplam (Jan 13, 2017)

Shame Christinebitg / no partner should feel they can't realize their potential and dreams as a driver because of their gender, race or sexual orientation. 
Driving for Uber if far far safer than being a police officer, deep sea fisherman, roadie for a hip hop group or choir boy in the Catholic Church. Fact is rideshare with the number of drivers in the USA and the level of churn, most Americans will hold 3 rideshare gigs by age 30- and the vast majority will do so safely in all the diversity they bring


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## Christinebitg (Jun 29, 2018)

emdeplam said:


> Driving for Uber if far far safer than being a police officer, deep sea fisherman, roadie for a hip hop group or choir boy in the Catholic Church.


I'm sure that's basically true.

I can't speak to the altar boy / choir boy issue, because I wasn't raised Catholic. That organization has certainly been getting some bad press lately, though.

C


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## Wonkytonk (Jan 28, 2018)

Ride-Share-Risk-Manager said:


> Thank you for a thoughtful response. Happy to hear similar from others on UP.


I'm going to assume that you're getting genuinely well meaning responses from people who think as long as he doesn't flirt he'll be ok.

Truth is your concern is merited. He's not going to be safe as an effeminate gay man working the bar scene, and the odds are he's going to have a lot of trouble with uptight male passengers not comfortable with their own sexuality enough not to be creeped out by just his being.

If he's going to do it he should stick to days, and probably avoid bar pickups.



HotUberMess said:


> Every market is different but I *really* feel my audience out before launching into conversation.
> 
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> ...


Same. I ask a few questions before we even get started not because I need the answers to the questions, but because rider responses to them help inform me of what kind of rider I'm dealing with.


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## Coachman (Sep 22, 2015)

Gay man here and never had a problem. But I'm not a flamer.


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## Pulledclear (Oct 31, 2017)

Steve_TX said:


> It's just as safe for gay men, straight men, gay women, or straight women to be ride share drivers. If a driver gets too flirtatious, or insists on taking a conversation too personal, they'll upset, offend, or anger pax on occasion, they get a deserved 1*, and possibly reported for improper conduct. All drivers are in danger of that, regardless of sexual preference.
> 
> Ride share drivers are better served with having the expectation of being *just* the driver for their pax, nothing more, nothing less. Use common sense and social skills to determine if a pax wants to talk or discuss anything. If a driver does not know when to not talk, they'll not last long in the ride share game.
> 
> ...


Now there's a realistic outlook on the hateful shortcomings (no pun intended) of segments of humanity. How are things going in la la land?


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## Cableguynoe (Feb 14, 2017)

Coachman said:


> Gay man here and never had a problem. But I'm not a flamer.


Problem obviously wouldn't be with being gay. 
Problem is with being stupid.


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## Wonkytonk (Jan 28, 2018)

Cableguynoe said:


> Problem obviously wouldn't be with being gay.
> Problem is with being stupid.


Your response is at best overly optimistic.

Effeminate gay men go through hell and back at the hands of men who have no confidence or comfort level in their own sexuality all.the.time.

It's not a matter of stupidity when just the fact of their being frequently results in them being physically assaulted.


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## Cableguynoe (Feb 14, 2017)

Wonkytonk said:


> Your response is at best overly optimistic.
> 
> Effeminate gay men go through hell and back at the hands of men who have no confidence or comfort level in their own sexuality all.the.time.
> 
> It's not a matter of stupidity when just the fact of their being frequently results in them being physically assaulted.


I'm basing my comment on OP's description of this gay dude. 
He's worried about him because her flirts with everyone and is afraid he'll flirt with pax.

Being unprofessional and flirting with customers is not a result of being gay. 
It's being stupid.


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## Getmeoutofhere (Aug 8, 2018)

Wonkytonk said:


> Your response is at best overly optimistic.
> 
> Effeminate gay men go through hell and back at the hands of men who have no confidence or comfort level in their own sexuality all.the.time.
> 
> It's not a matter of stupidity when just the fact of their being frequently results in them being physically assaulted.


Im not disagreeing but sexual harassment doesn't cease to be so because a man is gay and not wanting to be sexually harassed doesnt mean someone is insecure in their sexuality.


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## Coachman (Sep 22, 2015)

Ride-Share-Risk-Manager said:


> Rick showed my wife the car he plans to use for ride share. He decked it out beautifully with a vintage Lyft sign and put some coordinated accessories and throw pillows in the car. My wife loved it when she saw it. But then she sent a few pics to us and we just put the kebosh on it. We recommended that he not drive Lyft in NNJ as there are way too many shared rides into the hood filled with thugs and we are concerned about his safety. We also told him that his car should be clean and modern and safe but if it screams gay fabulous then that could be problematic. My son (who is gay) told Rick, when it comes to driving ride share "don't ask, don't tell, don't accessorize !!"


Are you sure you're not trolling us?


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## Cableguynoe (Feb 14, 2017)

Coachman said:


> Are you sure you're not trolling us?


If he is, he got you to come out


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## Wonkytonk (Jan 28, 2018)

Cableguynoe said:


> Being unprofessional and flirting with customers is not a result of being gay.
> It's being stupid.


I've got no argument with that.



Getmeoutofhere said:


> Im not disagreeing but sexual harassment doesn't cease to be so because a man is gay and not wanting to be sexually harassed doesnt mean someone is insecure in their sexuality.


The premise of my statements to date on this subject have been that there doesn't need to be any sexual harassment, or even the perception of sexual harassment from an effeminate gay man for physical assault to occur against that man.

Sexual harassment from an effeminate gay male driver is irrelevant to the point I've been trying to make.


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## Texie Driver (Sep 5, 2018)

fact: shouldn't flirt with passengers, regardless of orientation

opinion: if an ostensibly straight man is getting riled up because someone is minding their own homosexual bidness, bless his repressed latently homosexual little heart. peace is only found in living our own authentic lives. and yes, *that* i would call homophobic.


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## 1.5xorbust (Nov 22, 2017)

If he is effusively gay he should probably drive anytime other than late nights.


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## LAbDog65 (Nov 29, 2016)

As long as he doesn’t dress as a female he should be fine. Just don’t broadcast it.


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## Ride-Share-Risk-Manager (Mar 16, 2017)

Coachman said:


> Are you sure you're not trolling us?


No my friend, I have been on UP for two years. I am not a troll.


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## Cableguynoe (Feb 14, 2017)

Looks like a bunch of this guy's male passengers are about to join the #metoo movement


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## Ride-Share-Risk-Manager (Mar 16, 2017)

My concern for Rick is that he lives and works in a world of women and gay men in his salon. ( He does my wife's hair and most of the waxing of her lady bits ! ) But when he steps into the world of driving people in NNJ he is going to get exposed to some great passengers and also some mindless thugs and drunk frat boys who could beat him senseless because of their inherent homophobia. My driver group and I don't think he is safe but we put this out there so Rick could read the comments from other UP drivers who might feel different or agree with us.


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## 404NofFound (Jun 13, 2018)

It's a dangerous and fragile job for anyone,
White
Black
Female
Religious
Atheist
Mexican
Middle Eastern
Gay
Old
Fat
Educated
Ignorant
Ugly
Weird
Quiet 
Talkative
And combinations of these!


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## Fuzzyelvis (Dec 7, 2014)

Ride-Share-Risk-Manager said:


> No, its a serious question about the safety of a gay man who is part of our driver community and a good friend who we don't want to see being hurt or injured or killed because he is an out gay man and he picks up the wrong people.


If he's hitting on and flirting with pax, that's inappropriate regardless of the sex or sexual orientation of either. So the issue is more that he needs to suck it up and stop being an idiot when dealing with customers rather than the fact he's gay.

And yes, many straight men are homophobic and won't appreciate it.

Can't he just STFU and drive? His flirting with men is no different than the creepy driver who flirts with every woman who gets in his car. Most women are sick of that crap too, but they're less dangerous, which is why men get away with it. He may not get away with it doing it to men, especially at night with drunken guys.

You're basically saying he's an idiot with no self control and if he reads the comments he needs to know that.


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## Wonkytonk (Jan 28, 2018)

404NofFound said:


> It's a dangerous and fragile job for anyone,
> White
> Black
> Female
> ...


I'm going to go ahead and call that false equivalence. One can say that the job is dangerous for anyone, and that's more or less true I suppose, but it's far more dangerous for some than others, and effeminate gay men are at the top of the list for far more dangerous for than most of the others on your list.


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## Kodyhead (May 26, 2015)

Christinebitg said:


> "sorry but downrating a driver for being inappropriate makes the pax a "homophobe"?
> how"
> 
> It doesn't make the rider a homophobic person.
> ...


Some people think just being gay is inappropriate


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## Cableguynoe (Feb 14, 2017)

Kodyhead said:


> Some people think just being gay is inappropriate


Yeah, let's talk about that


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## Wonkytonk (Jan 28, 2018)

Fuzzyelvis said:


> If he's hitting on and flirting with pax, that's inappropriate regardless of the sex or sexual orientation of either. So the issue is more that he needs to suck it up and stop being an idiot when dealing with customers rather than the fact he's gay.


Since you stated if he were hitting on, and flirting with pax then I'm sure you meant to state that "So then the issue would be more..."

Seems like everyone who's expressed the opinion you're expressing here has already convicted the kid of flirting with, hitting on, and in some cases sexual harassment of pax and as far as I know the kid hasn't even driven yet.

So I guess you can say "if" the kid flirts, makes passes, sexually harasses he'll stand a chance of having a rough time, and perhaps being assaulted. But the truth is his just being an effeminate gay male already runs him the risk of being assaulted anyway. Probably a very high risk at that in some situations while driving, but in general I don't think it's hard to understand that he's at an increased risk over most other drivers just being who he is.

I'm fairly the sure the kid having grown up gay is already well aware of the risks of showing amorous interest in heterosexual males.


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## New2This (Dec 27, 2015)

HotUberMess said:


> Every market is different but I *really* feel my audience out before launching into conversation.
> 
> View attachment 260717
> View attachment 260718
> ...


You're female. Of COURSE you get compliments for conversation.

Guys get the 'PLEASE STFU' badge


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## Wonkytonk (Jan 28, 2018)

Kodyhead said:


> Some people think just being gay is inappropriate


Abomination wouldn't be far from the mark in a lot of instances.


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## Kodyhead (May 26, 2015)

Cableguynoe said:


> Yeah, let's talk about that


What's to talk about?


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## Texie Driver (Sep 5, 2018)

Wonkytonk said:


> Since you stated if he were hitting on, and flirting with pax then I'm sure you meant to state that "So then the issue would be more..."
> 
> Seems like everyone who's expressed the opinion you're expressing here has already convicted the kid of flirting with, hitting on, and in some cases sexual harassment of pax and as far as I know the kid hasn't even driven yet.


Not a conviction, but a concern about his potential behavior as a prospective driver that was outright stated in OP.

"Our concern is that Rick can be very flirtatious with other straight men in our driver group and we are worried that he might do that while driving."


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## Fauxknight (Aug 12, 2014)

Kodyhead said:


> Some people think just being gay is inappropriate


I think a person that has to broadcast their sexuality is inappropriate, straight or gay. I really don't care, particularly as your driver, I'm just here to get you from A to B, your sexual preferences mean nothing to me. So for the driver in question, it shouldn't matter if his pax would dislike him for his sexual preference, they shouldn't know what it is to begin with.


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## HotUberMess (Feb 25, 2018)

New2This said:


> You're female. Of COURSE you get compliments for conversation.
> 
> Guys get the 'PLEASE STFU' badge


Ah yes the little known _female_ privilege lol

Or it could be I work in a tourist market where most riders are happy and test standup material in the car.

Nah. It's the uterus.


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## Wonkytonk (Jan 28, 2018)

Texie Driver said:


> Not a conviction, but a concern about his potential behavior as a prospective driver that was outright stated in OP.
> 
> "Our concern is that Rick can be very flirtatious with other straight men in our driver group and we are worried that he might do that while driving."


Is that concern outweighed by the odds any one willing to trounce the kid for flirting with them, or hitting on them would probably do it just because he sounds and acts gay. The risks might increase but if they increase it really just means they were there all along.

I hear what you're saying about the OPs expressed concerns, but I'm fairly sure the kid isn't going to be flirting with or hitting on pax. Gay men tend to do that with heterosexual men with which they've reached a level of comfort with or in places where they feel safe. I doubt he would feel that level of comfort driving strangers.


----------



## Over/Uber (Jan 2, 2017)

Texie Driver said:


> ...she is the "wrong person"
> it isn't the driver engaging in
> wrong behavior.
> 
> ?


Yes, the flirtatious driver is wrong, hetero or otherwise.

However, the female who resists or is otherwise put off by the flirtations likely won't drag the driver out of the car and kick his ass or otherwise cause him physical harm.


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## nomad_driver (May 11, 2016)

I didn't know New York/Jersey was so homophobic.


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## Wonkytonk (Jan 28, 2018)

HotUberMess said:


> Ah yes the little known _female_ privilege lol
> 
> Or it could be I work in a tourist market where most riders are happy and test standup material in the car.
> 
> Nah. It's the uterus.


Are you sure he wasn't thinking it was more the breasteses that give you ladies a ... leg(?) up? haha.


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## Texie Driver (Sep 5, 2018)

Over/Uber said:


> Yes, the flirtatious driver is wrong, hetero or otherwise.
> 
> However, the female who resists or is otherwise put off by the flirtations likely won't drag the driver out of the car and kick his ass or otherwise cause him physical harm.


she might ought to though


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## New2This (Dec 27, 2015)

HotUberMess said:


> Ah yes the little known _female_ privilege lol
> 
> Or it could be I work in a tourist market where most riders are happy and test standup material in the car.
> 
> Nah. It's the uterus.


Don't forget the rack


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## Wonkytonk (Jan 28, 2018)

Fauxknight said:


> So for the driver in question, it shouldn't matter if his pax would dislike him for his sexual preference, they shouldn't know what it is to begin with.


The OP made it pretty clear the driver in question isn't a gay that can go unnoticed as a gay man. That isn't a function of personal choice on his part either.


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## Over/Uber (Jan 2, 2017)

Texie Driver said:


> she might ought to though


I've seen some who might.


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## HotUberMess (Feb 25, 2018)

Wonkytonk said:


> Are you sure he wasn't thinking it was more the breasteses that give you ladies a ... leg(?) up? haha.


My pax have breasts of their own. Disney toyrists.. moms with kids/ families etc


New2This said:


> Don't forget the rack


The rack is wack but it sits atop a belly of fat.

Lmaooo


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## Over/Uber (Jan 2, 2017)

Wonkytonk said:


> The OP made it pretty clear the driver in question isn't a gay that can go unnoticed as a gay man. That isn't a function of personal choice on his part either.


I don't entirely buy this. Choosing to flirt or otherwise speak in ways that may be inappropriate are not a choice? I choose to act appropriately every ride, every day. I'm not referring to person's apparent flamboyance or lack thereof.


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## Ride-Share-Risk-Manager (Mar 16, 2017)

Wonkytonk said:


> The OP made it pretty clear the driver in question isn't a gay that can go unnoticed as a gay man. That isn't a function of personal choice on his part either.


Yes, if you got into a car with Rick it would be pretty clear that he is gay based on how he talks and looks. While we live in Bergen County NJ which is a bastion of liberalism, our cities are not welcoming to gay men or women and are some of the worst high crime and murder capitals in the country. All of our drivers in our group carry guns and weaponss when driving and avoid the worst neighborhoods. We just don't want Rick to end up as some hate crime statistic. We appreciate the thoughtful responses here and wish the nonsense posters would go elsewhere.


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## Wonkytonk (Jan 28, 2018)

Over/Uber said:


> I don't entirely buy this. Choosing to flirt or otherwise speak in ways that may be inappropriate are not a choice? I choose to act appropriately every ride, every day. I'm not referring to person's apparent flamboyance or lack thereof.


Again the kid hasn't driven yet so what he chooses to say isn't an issue yet. I'm getting the sense that you believe he can make himself appear heterosexual. Many gay men can not. That is not a personal choice, or an affectation that is their reality.

Also "f" that why should he have to act in a manner not consistent with who he is. Why should he feign to be something, or someone he's not? I say that without respect to any flirting or hitting on that hasn't occurred in the context of driving for this potential driver.


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## Kodyhead (May 26, 2015)

Fauxknight said:


> I think a person that has to broadcast their sexuality is inappropriate, straight or gay. I really don't care, particularly as your driver, I'm just here to get you from A to B, your sexual preferences mean nothing to me. So for the driver in question, it shouldn't matter if his pax would dislike him for his sexual preference, they shouldn't know what it is to begin with.


What would your opinion be of somepne that talks with a gay accent? Just like someone you talk to on the phone let's say uber support or a DirecTV rep, you can sometimes generally assume heritage or sexual preferance, do you consider that unprofessional?

Some may consider the way a gay person talks or the way they want to dress as unprofessional, I see it as someone who is proud of who they are and expressing themselves.

I personally dont get it, but if it's what makes them happy I personally dont care and it's none of my business however it's a gray area and some are offended by it



Wonkytonk said:


> The OP made it pretty clear the driver in question isn't a gay that can go unnoticed as a gay man. That isn't a function of personal choice on his part either.


If it's his choice it's cool, but if he wants to be flaming gay he should, unfortunately some people are not tolerant of it


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## UberBeemer (Oct 23, 2015)

Ride-Share-Risk-Manager said:


> We have a friend of ours who approached our driver group and wanted advice on driving Uber and Lyft part time. Rick is a great guy, very friendly, good driving record and has already been accepted by Uber and Lyft. The challenge that other drivers and I see is that Rick is a very out and somewhat flamboyant gay man. He works as a hairdresser and waxologist. He thought that driving for Uber and Lyft might help him drum up some new customers for his salon and help him make some short term cash. Our concern is that Rick can be very flirtatious with other straight men in our driver group and we are worried that he might do that while driving. We just don't think that he will be safe driving in Northern NJ with some of the hoodlums that get in our cars. But also, with drunk frat boys and guys coming out of bars that will not take kindly to a gay man flirting with them or just being himself. I think he will be a big hit with women passengers, but we are concerned about his safety out there on the road especially as he plans to drive nights and weekends.
> 
> I just thought I would put it out there to see what other drivers think and I am asking Rick to read this site and the feedback from UP posters. Thoughtful and insightful responses and questions based on experiences of other gay male drivers would be most appreciated.


Its impossible to know. And an awkward question. My thought is, out gay people are as safe driving rideshare as most others. I doubt they will encounter any more or any fewer intolerant jerks than they will otherwise.


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## Wonkytonk (Jan 28, 2018)

Kodyhead said:


> What would your opinion be of somepne that talks with a gay accent? Just like someone you talk to on the phone let's say uber support or a DirecTV rep, you can sometimes generally assume heritage or sexual preferance, do you consider that unprofessional?
> 
> Some may consider the way a gay person talks or the way they want to dress as unprofessional, I see it as someone who is proud of who they are and expressing themselves.
> 
> ...


The point I was making was that "choice" is a myth for many gays with respect to how they present. Because people think it's flamboyant, and in most cases don't like it, they attribute it to personal choice, that's not really always, or even usually the case.

There's nothing really gray about anything about it. Either we're all entitled to the pursuit of happiness or we're not, and if we are then gays, all gays, even the extravagantly fabulously flamboyant ones should be accepted the same way we accept anyone else with one's own sexual identity.

As for being able to intuit sexual orientation via a phone conversation and perceiving one to be a homosexual how that would translate into being unprofessional, the judgment call of unprofessional implies a judgment that the one you are overhearing and judging at that moment is doing something unprofessional, or acting in a way that is unprofessional, but if that person is speaking in a voice that is that is genuinely their own without respect to obvious professional breeches in etiquette how can that fact alone translate to unprofessional?


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## Ride-Share-Risk-Manager (Mar 16, 2017)

UberBeemer said:


> Its impossible to know. And an awkward question. My thought is, out gay people are as safe driving rideshare as most others. I doubt they will encounter any more or any fewer intolerant jerks than they will otherwise.


I am going to beg to differ with you on this point. I think an effeminate gay man is subject to considerable greater risk of physical harm while driving ride share than a straight man or a woman. JMO based on life experience and having two gay siblings and two gay children and dealing with their issues and situations.


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## Bbonez (Aug 10, 2018)

Christinebitg said:


> Besides, gay men tip other gay men _really_ well.


Just the tip?



Ride-Share-Risk-Manager said:


> We just don't want Rick to end up as some hate crime statistic.


So if a Male driver hits on a female PAX and she sprays pepper spray on the driver out of fear she is a hero of the #metoo. Now if the Male pax did the same thing to you, I mean your "friend", that's a hate crime?


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## Over/Uber (Jan 2, 2017)

Wonkytonk said:


> I'm getting the sense that you believe he can make himself appear heterosexual. Many gay men can not. That is not a personal choice, or an affectation that is their reality.
> 
> Also "f" that why should he have to act in a manner not consistent with who he is. Why should he feign to be something, or someone he's not?


I see how you might get that sense. But, it's not intended.

What I am intending is a person can should be/act who they are: flamboyant, friendly, talkative, extrovert, introvert, quiet, subdued, no affect. Shouldn't matter.

A gay may shouldn't try to act heterosexual.

A straight man shouldn't act a piggish, misogynistic bore.

No passenger in a rideshare car should feel unsafe because of the unwanted advances from the driver, no matter orientation on anyone's part.


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## Wonkytonk (Jan 28, 2018)

Over/Uber said:


> No passenger in a rideshare car should feel unsafe because of the unwanted advances from the driver, no matter orientation on anyone's part.


Can't say that I disagree with any of the particulars stated there. Although I would add neither should any driver feel unsafe for the same reasons.

Not that you don't feel the same way about it, but my sense of giving back urged me to make the addition.


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## UberBeemer (Oct 23, 2015)

Ride-Share-Risk-Manager said:


> I am going to beg to differ with you on this point. I think an effeminate gay man is subject to considerable greater risk of physical harm while driving ride share than a straight man or a woman. JMO based on life experience and having two gay siblings and two gay children and dealing with their issues and situations.


I won't argue, as i have no reference point. But what i can say is, most out gay people i know of don't discuss it with random people they encounter at work, and if i put every uber driver i ever met in a lineup i doubt i could tell if they were gay or not. And it wouldn't matter if it were obvious. If the car is clean and they drive safely, and i get home, it's all the same.


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## Gilby (Nov 7, 2017)

Ride-Share-Risk-Manager said:


> I think an effeminate gay man is subject to considerable greater risk of physical harm while driving ride share than a straight man or a woman.


I agree that he has a greater risk. I guess in your place I would try to make him understand that, and suggest he limit driving to daytime and avoid places where he may encounter the ruffians. If he is a bright person and has been exposed to homophobia, he will figure it out. You may be able to coach him about how to allow pax to initiate conversations... that way to avoid any misunderstanding.


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## Kodyhead (May 26, 2015)

Over/Uber said:


> I see how you might get that sense. But, it's not intended.
> 
> What I am intending is a person can should be/act who they are: flamboyant, friendly, talkative, extrovert, introvert, quiet, subdued, no affect. Shouldn't matter.
> 
> ...


My better worded point, I guess lol



Gilby said:


> I agree that he has a greater risk. I guess in your place I would try to make him understand that, and suggest he limit driving to daytime and avoid places where he may encounter the ruffians. If he is a bright person and has been exposed to homophobia, he will figure it out. You may be able to coach him about how to allow pax to initiate conversations... that way to avoid any misunderstanding.


And that's the grey area for me, he shouldnt have to act differently, someone dude that wants to wear womens clothing or someone with face tattoos shouldnt be treated differently but the truth is sometimes they are treated differently

Regardless I am always on stage in front of riders compared to what I really am and the way I talk and act in free time. I generally curse a lot but on front of the customer I dont curse unless the riders are cursing a lot like me, I will as well.

Either way it will be a ride by ride basis and over time and experience a gay driver should know when to be flamboyant and not

Maybe it's because of where I grew up went to school and even where I live now, and all the LGBT I am desensitized to the whole thing but I guess some are still not exposed enough to the whole lgbt community.


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## Wonkytonk (Jan 28, 2018)

Kodyhead said:


> My better worded point, I guess lol
> And that's the grey area for me, he shouldnt have to act differently, someone dude that wants to wear womens clothing or someone with face tattoos shouldnt be treated differently but the truth is sometimes they are treated differently
> 
> Regardless I am always on stage in front of riders compared to what I really am and the way I talk and act in free time. I generally curse a lot but on front of the customer I dont curse unless the riders are cursing a lot like me, I will as well.
> ...


The problem I'm having when I'm reading of what you're posting here is you're saying on the one hand that this gay driver shouldn't have to act differently then, presumably their nature is what you're referring to there, but then you go on to list things that are choices as opposed to inherent qualities. Choices like wearing women's clothing, or choosing to get face tattoos. Those two are personal choices. And then when you discuss yourself you discuss how you choose to act differently when with riders. That is a personal choice you make, and affectation you don for a given purpose, that you can turn off and on when you see fit, but it's not who you really are.

That's not to what's being referred here the potential driver in question would not be making a choice they would be being themselves the person you presumably are when you're not on display for riders. A large aspect of this rider's being is effeminate what many would consider flamboyant. In order to try to be perceived as not that he would have to do what you do when you're on stage and pretending to be something you're not.


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## Texie Driver (Sep 5, 2018)

i am not going to lie, face tattoo increases the chance i am going to drive right past that pax and cancel. increases the chance by a lot, exponents with zeroes and commas. call me a facetatophobe i own it


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## Wonkytonk (Jan 28, 2018)

Texie Driver said:


> i am not going to lie, face tattoo increases the chance i am going to drive right past that pax and cancel. increases the chance by a lot, exponents with zeroes and commas. call me a facetatophobe i own it


Tat Tater gonna tate.


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## HotUberMess (Feb 25, 2018)

I guess I give off a gay vibe but if the pax are gay I go with it for the tips

Lol. #noShameInTheGame


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## AuxCordTherapy (Jul 14, 2018)

Depends where he drives. Tell him to come to West Hollywood (L.A.) and he’ll be right at home. The passengers will absolutely adore him, men and women.


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## Wonkytonk (Jan 28, 2018)

HotUberMess said:


> I guess I give off a gay vibe but if the pax are gay I go with it for the tips
> 
> Lol. #noShameInTheGame


Work.IT! Kind of like Kodyhead said you're sort of on stage, well at least I think good drivers look at it that way if they want to make decent tip money anyway so I commend you on your obvious good driver habits young lady, and I'm not just saying that as a backhanded compliment to myself and Kodyhead either....mostly.


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## Texie Driver (Sep 5, 2018)

HotUberMess said:


> I guess I give off a gay vibe but if the pax are gay I go with it for the tips
> 
> Lol. #noShameInTheGame


so I need to find the lesbian bars? because the guys who hit on me never tip, like their attention was a gift! because i ain't never heared that i were purdy wow so magnaminous of you to notice a lowly rideshare driver i am gonna be somebody some day now for sure what with all that generosity huh mister? jacka... lope.


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## Kodyhead (May 26, 2015)

They shouldnt have to but I dont blame anyone for changing or acting differently if they choose to In a different enviornment. And its certainly not my business to tell anyone else to tell them what to do. Its their choice 

The reality is I dont know what it's like to be gay in this world. Even if it's not right I dont blame anyone who feels they have to change appearance or pretend to be someone else and swallow their pride as it's easier than arguing or fighting when they have done nothing wrong. 

As a full time driver I am a chameleon and and adapt to whatever discussions in my car even if I agree or disagree with them with riders who enjoy talking during a ride. However I know there are people out there that probably gave me 1 star for simply disagreeing with me or found my humor offensive. I imagine it's the same with LGBT if not worse


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## mbd (Aug 27, 2018)

Ride-Share-Risk-Manager said:


> We have a friend of ours who approached our driver group and wanted advice on driving Uber and Lyft part time. Rick is a great guy, very friendly, good driving record and has already been accepted by Uber and Lyft. The challenge that other drivers and I see is that Rick is a very out and somewhat flamboyant gay man. He works as a hairdresser and waxologist. He thought that driving for Uber and Lyft might help him drum up some new customers for his salon and help him make some short term cash. Our concern is that Rick can be very flirtatious with other straight men in our driver group and we are worried that he might do that while driving. We just don't think that he will be safe driving in Northern NJ with some of the hoodlums that get in our cars. But also, with drunk frat boys and guys coming out of bars that will not take kindly to a gay man flirting with them or just being himself. I think he will be a big hit with women passengers, but we are concerned about his safety out there on the road especially as he plans to drive nights and weekends.
> 
> I just thought I would put it out there to see what other drivers think and I am asking Rick to read this site and the feedback from UP posters. Thoughtful and insightful responses and questions based on experiences of other gay male drivers would be most appreciated.


Lots of gay drivers.... maybe do more gay areas
Dropped 4 or 5 gay/ lesbians over the week end , got tipped every time


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## SuzeCB (Oct 30, 2016)

Cableguynoe said:


> If I was able to not flirt, I would have less problems


But we love you for it! LOL


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## EdOz (Sep 6, 2018)

I am an out gay man driving in an area not necessarily known for its acceptance of the culture. Thing is I’m not very effeminate, but it’s not hard to tell. Have I had my share of people who have given me an awfully uncomfortable vibe? Yes. But I can handle myself, and I think if anyone would even try something I’d definitely defend myself.

I’ve put a few pax in their place. But I have also had some interesting “straight” pax lol.. that story is for another day tho 

I’d tell him to just watch it ... and that most women pax will absolutely love him —- my biggest tippers are women lol.. I can gossip with the best of them lol

PS I’d actually tell him to NOT drive gay areas.. too many uppity gays who think they’re better than you. I actually stay away from the gayborhoods because the bar crowd is actually worse than the straight crowd


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## Fuzzyelvis (Dec 7, 2014)

Wonkytonk said:


> The problem I'm having when I'm reading of what you're posting here is you're saying on the one hand that this gay driver shouldn't have to act differently then, presumably their nature is what you're referring to there, but then you go on to list things that are choices as opposed to inherent qualities. Choices like wearing women's clothing, or choosing to get face tattoos. Those two are personal choices. And then when you discuss yourself you discuss how you choose to act differently when with riders. That is a personal choice you make, and affectation you don for a given purpose, that you can turn off and on when you see fit, but it's not who you really are.
> 
> That's not to what's being referred here the potential driver in question would not be making a choice they would be being themselves the person you presumably are when you're not on display for riders. A large aspect of this rider's being is effeminate what many would consider flamboyant. In order to try to be perceived as not that he would have to do what you do when you're on stage and pretending to be something you're not.


I am normally very outspoken and call people on the bullshit they spew. With pax I don't put up with as much as many drivers, but I do refrain from being "myself" in that I don't bother arguing with them about the things they say which I disagree with, etc.

If I can refrain from telling someone I think they're an idiot when they tell me how great Trump is, I think a grown man should be able to tone down some of his flamboyance, especially when it might get his ass kicked.

Not doing so reminds me of a boyfriend I had who liked taking chances walking across the road. He told me if he was hit it was the drivers fault. Most of the time he was technically right. But being a bloody, brain damaged, paralyzed person who was "in the right" is stupid.

When we drive we ARE on stage to a certain extent. How many of you drive exactly the same way with and without a pax? (I don't get myself in trouble because the other driver can't hear me), but I regularly say things out loud like "Move, you ****ing idiot!" Or, "Use your ****ing turn signal you ****ing moron!" While driving. Not with pax...

Most people can change their behavior quite easily. They just don't want to. It IS a choice. Being gay isn't a choice, but making sure everyone knows it isn't.

I've been around gay men who make a comment about every decent looking guy who walks by. Straight guys who do that about women are considered boorish and its offensive (and, hey, they don't do it around their female boss or coworkers unless they like being fired). No reason being gay gives men a pass on that IMO. I don't care who you like to ****, but I don't want to hear about it every 10 seconds.

As far as the safety issue, yes, being gay, if folks can tell, is probably another risk factor doing rideshare. But so is being female. So depending on your comfort level you have to make a judgement call as to when to drive. BUT being gay and flaunting it is akin to a woman doing rideshare in skimpy clothing. She should still not have to worry about a pax groping her or worse, but she'd be pretty stupid to think some drunk men wouldn't be more likely to.

This "I must be myself" BS is BS. Some people need to grow the hell up and realize no one is the same all the time unless they don't care about keeping their job.


----------



## tohunt4me (Nov 23, 2015)

Ride-Share-Risk-Manager said:


> We have a friend of ours who approached our driver group and wanted advice on driving Uber and Lyft part time. Rick is a great guy, very friendly, good driving record and has already been accepted by Uber and Lyft. The challenge that other drivers and I see is that Rick is a very out and somewhat flamboyant gay man. He works as a hairdresser and waxologist. He thought that driving for Uber and Lyft might help him drum up some new customers for his salon and help him make some short term cash. Our concern is that Rick can be very flirtatious with other straight men in our driver group and we are worried that he might do that while driving. We just don't think that he will be safe driving in Northern NJ with some of the hoodlums that get in our cars. But also, with drunk frat boys and guys coming out of bars that will not take kindly to a gay man flirting with them or just being himself. I think he will be a big hit with women passengers, but we are concerned about his safety out there on the road especially as he plans to drive nights and weekends.
> 
> I just thought I would put it out there to see what other drivers think and I am asking Rick to read this site and the feedback from UP posters. Thoughtful and insightful responses and questions based on experiences of other gay male drivers would be most appreciated.


Tell Rick to come to Bourbon Street.

He will have more work than he can handle.

( no Gay Mafia for protection where Rick works ?)


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## Fuzzyelvis (Dec 7, 2014)

EdOz said:


> I am an out gay man driving in an area not necessarily known for its acceptance of the culture. Thing is I'm not very effeminate, but it's not hard to tell. Have I had my share of people who have given me an awfully uncomfortable vibe? Yes. But I can handle myself, and I think if anyone would even try something I'd definitely defend myself.
> 
> I've put a few pax in their place. But I have also had some interesting "straight" pax lol.. that story is for another day tho
> 
> ...


My experience as a straight woman is the older gay male couples (45+) are the best pax. Great tippers and not afraid to pay a surge without complaining. They also are just happily drunk, not wasted. In the Houston area I like to get trips from certain gay bars at 2am with the hope of those pax. I've had several $100 trips that way.

The younger ones are just the same as straight young pax. Annoying and crappy tippers mostly. Short trips. They tend to screech in your ear a lot. Get VERY drunk. More of a puke risk than the young straight guys. Few tips when it's a group, but a bit better when it's a couple or one.

Lesbians are a bit all over the place. No typical behavior that I've seen. I don't get many older couples though. I don't think they go out late that much. Tipping is so so across the board. Some assume I'm a lesbian and then they tip better so I don't correct them. My best friend of 30 years is a lesbian and we've been mistaken for a couple many times so I'm pretty used to that.


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## Trafficat (Dec 19, 2016)

#1 - No one is safe while driving Uber. Anyone can be murdered.

#2 - Flirting with passengers is a bad idea regardless of your gender preferences.

Now, will being gay cause it to be more dangerous? Probably. After all there are haters out there. But it was never safe to begin with.


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## Wonkytonk (Jan 28, 2018)

Fuzzyelvis said:


> This "I must be myself" BS is BS. Some people need to grow the hell up and realize no one is the same all the time unless they don't care about keeping their job.


Real easy attitude to take when you don't have to pretend to be someone you're not to make people think you're who they would prefer you were.

This attitude of insisting others not be themselves to appease the intolerant even as one demands the right to be who and what one is themselves because they fit in is at best problematic.

If you don't want to be constantly told by the others to morph into what you're not stop telling others to do exactly that.

Way too many people with the belief that everything surrounding being gay is a choice.



Trafficat said:


> Now, will being gay cause it to be more dangerous? Probably. After all there are haters out there. But it was never safe to begin with.


It's like false equivalence followed by a correction of it, followed by the false equivalece again.

Sure it's dangerous for everyone.

Let's just keep it real simple; it's more dangerous for effiminate gay drivers.

No need to the muddy the water.


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## Trafficat (Dec 19, 2016)

Wonkytonk said:


> It's like false equivalence followed by a correction of it, followed by the false equivalece again.
> 
> Sure it's dangerous for everyone.
> 
> ...


Yes, exactly... more dangerous. No false equivalence about it, unless you are trying to claim Uber drivers are never attacked except because of their sexuality.


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## Kodyhead (May 26, 2015)

Fuzzyelvis said:


> Lesbians are a bit all over the place. No typical behavior that I've seen. I don't get many older couples though. I don't think they go out late that much. Tipping is so so across the board. Some assume I'm a lesbian and then they tip better so I don't correct them. My best friend of 30 years is a lesbian and we've been mistaken for a couple many times so I'm pretty used to that.


Unless they are flaming I have terrible gaydar and I am terrible with some lesbians lol. I used to work as a paramedic which has a lot of lesbians in general and also hospitals as well and half of them I had no idea unless they were super butch lol. And even they were fun to hang out with cause some of them were alpha ***** and we would just talk about girls lol


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## Wonkytonk (Jan 28, 2018)

Trafficat said:


> Yes, exactly... more dangerous. No false equivalence about it, unless you are trying to claim Uber drivers are never attacked except because of their sexuality.


The false equivalence comes into play when people start with the premise it's dangerous for everyone. Well, yeah, but that doesn't mean the danger level is the same for all drivers. There are groups of drivers that are more at risk and gay and female drivers rank right up there.

So when someone says it's dangerous for everyone, then corrects it acknowledges the increased risk for gays then closes it out with another false equivalence we that deserves a response.


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## tohunt4me (Nov 23, 2015)

Kodyhead said:


> Unless they are flaming I have terrible gaydar and I am terrible with some lesbians lol. I used to work as a paramedic which has a lot of lesbians in general and also hospitals as well and half of them I had no idea unless they were super butch lol. And even they were fun to hang out with cause some of them were alpha ***** and we would just talk about girls lol


Lesbians have told me
" The only difference between a Straight woman and a Lesbian is about 3 shots" . . .


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## Texie Driver (Sep 5, 2018)

Wonkytonk said:


> There are groups of drivers that are more at risk and gay and female drivers rank right up there.


I have pondered this, if I am really more vulnerable than a man as a driver. I mean, there is still kind of a code among most men that you don't hit girls, even if you are a juiced up hotheaded nasty drunk looking for a fight. Seems a lot of dudes just go around looking for other dudes to fight. As a woman, I look to deescalate and flee as the first option, I have wondered if maybe a male driver is more prone to get drawn into random conflict in the first place. idk just thoughts I've had, e.g. when watching that driver incident in Florida... I thouht would "goofball" have even threatened a female driver in that way? Idk. I guess I don't really feel more vulnerable because I am female, people are crazy, sure... I am vigilant... always... but not driving or living in fear.


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## Kodyhead (May 26, 2015)

Texie Driver said:


> , e.g. when watching that driver incident in Florida... I thouht would "goofball" have even threatened a female driver in that way? Idk. I guess I don't really feel more vulnerable because I am female, people are crazy, sure... I am vigilant... always... but not driving or living in fear.


Never thought about that scenario, others questioned how the victim would of reacted if he realized it wasnt his alledged girlfriend in the car that he might have calm down and walked away still with his life but a clear example of the macho man you are describing.

Speculating in would imagine as it was dark the guy was looking for trouble and would of at least tried to get into the car to at least fight with his girlfriend at least jmo


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## Trafficat (Dec 19, 2016)

Wonkytonk said:


> The false equivalence comes into play when people start with the premise it's dangerous for everyone. Well, yeah, but that doesn't mean the danger level is the same for all drivers. There are groups of drivers that are more at risk and gay and female drivers rank right up there.
> 
> So when someone says it's dangerous for everyone, then corrects it acknowledges the increased risk for gays then closes it out with another false equivalence we that deserves a response.


I personally feel a female driver is a much more at risk category than a gay driver. How many gay male drivers get raped each year compared to female drivers? Unless you have some stats to back up your claim, it seems *you* are potentially making a false equivalence.

According to the federal government ride for hire is #1 on the list of jobs where you are likely to be murdered. Can you show that gay men were disproportionately represented among those victims?


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## Uberlife2 (Sep 20, 2016)

Its more difficult be a gay uber driver then a female one. The best thing to do. Don't get too comfortable with the passengers.
Just be straight forward.


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## SEAL Team 5 (Dec 19, 2015)

Trafficat said:


> How many gay male drivers get raped each year compared to female drivers?


Probably the same ratio of female drivers that get assaulted (other then sexual) each year compared to gay male drivers.*

* Disclaimer; I do not have any reports or studies that back my comparison.


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## Tr4vis Ka1anick (Oct 2, 2016)

tohunt4me said:


> Lesbians have told me
> " The only difference between a Straight woman and a Lesbian is about 3 shots" . . .


Lesbian pick up line: Spaghetti is straight till it gets wet.



Uberlife2 said:


> Just be straight forward.


But the dude is...*gay.*


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## Julescase (Mar 29, 2017)

Ride-Share-Risk-Manager said:


> We have a friend of ours who approached our driver group and wanted advice on driving Uber and Lyft part time. Rick is a great guy, very friendly, good driving record and has already been accepted by Uber and Lyft. The challenge that other drivers and I see is that Rick is a very out and somewhat flamboyant gay man. He works as a hairdresser and waxologist. He thought that driving for Uber and Lyft might help him drum up some new customers for his salon and help him make some short term cash. Our concern is that Rick can be very flirtatious with other straight men in our driver group and we are worried that he might do that while driving. We just don't think that he will be safe driving in Northern NJ with some of the hoodlums that get in our cars. But also, with drunk frat boys and guys coming out of bars that will not take kindly to a gay man flirting with them or just being himself. I think he will be a big hit with women passengers, but we are concerned about his safety out there on the road especially as he plans to drive nights and weekends.
> 
> I just thought I would put it out there to see what other drivers think and I am asking Rick to read this site and the feedback from UP posters. Thoughtful and insightful responses and questions based on experiences of other gay male drivers would be most appreciated.


As long as he follows the same rules _all_ drivers should go by:

- Be respectful, kind and friendly (but not overly friendly)
- Keep a clean car and shower daily 
- Drive safely and with caution

he should be fine.

Obviously,

- NO pushy or obnoxious flirting
- Make sure all pax are made to feel comfortable (basically, just be polite and have manners. Everyone should be following these rules already.)

Doesn't matter if a person is gay, straight, bi, white, brown, purple, pink, trans, etc etc etc. Treat pax with respect, drive safely, and do your job to the best of your ability. Follow the basics and most, if not all, will go smoothly. There will be the occasional obnoxious pax of course - we all deal with that - it's part of the gig for every single driver out there.

Good luck to your friend if he ends up driving!


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## Gtown Driver (Aug 26, 2018)

If he works in any liberal city area he should be fine. Dupont Circle it's regular to pick men kissing their spouses before they hop in the ride. Not to mention I occasionally pick up the flamboyant gay guy in a pool that usually does a good job entertaining the other pax.

Just avoid picking people up in the sticks if you get driven to the sticks and should be good.


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## Christinebitg (Jun 29, 2018)

Trafficat said:


> How many gay male drivers get raped each year compared to female drivers?


You're comparing the wrong issues.

Gay men don't get raped by straight guys. They get beat up and sometimes killed.

C


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## Wonkytonk (Jan 28, 2018)

Trafficat said:


> I personally feel a female driver is a much more at risk category than a gay driver. How many gay male drivers get raped each year compared to female drivers? Unless you have some stats to back up your claim, it seems *you* are potentially making a false equivalence.
> 
> According to the federal government ride for hire is #1 on the list of jobs where you are likely to be murdered. Can you show that gay men were disproportionately represented among those victims?


That would be an erroneous claim not a false equivalence. That would be if I had made the claim in the first place there which I did not. I stated that both were at higher risk.

I've shown an equivalent set of supporting criteria here as has everyone else including you which is to say none.

As far as I know no studies have been done to make the claim one way or another but since I never made the claim that women were less at risk as drivers I really don't feel the need to defend it. Since you're making the affirmation e claim that women are more at risk then gay men may I ask to see your proof. Not corroborating evidence mind you but proof. Because I mean we could both link incidents all over the place in support of one or the other.



Tr4vis Ka1anick said:


> But the dude is...*gay.*


It's funny because one of my friends substitutes gaily forward for the word straight every time. So when giving directions he might say take a right at the corner then a left at oak street then go gaily forward for about a mile.


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## backcountryrez (Aug 24, 2017)

LAbDog65 said:


> As long as he doesn't dress as a female he should be fine. Just don't broadcast it.


I don't see what dressing as a female has to do with anyone's sexual orientation.

I agree with most of the comments here, particularly by Cableguynoe. Maintain professionalism, a clean car (doesn't need accoutrements), and know where you're going. The thread really shouldn't have gotten that far down the slippery slope about perceptions of homosexuals by non-homosexuals.


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## Bbonez (Aug 10, 2018)

Wonkytonk said:


> Let's just keep it real simple; it's more dangerous for effiminate ga


Let's keep it real simple; stick to the facts. You make these claims with no data.



Christinebitg said:


> Gay men don't get raped by straight guys.


They do in prison.


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## Wonkytonk (Jan 28, 2018)

Bbonez said:


> Let's keep it real simple; stick to the facts. You make these claims with no data.


To which specific claims are you referring?

Also please point me to all of the data shared by everyone else in this topic with respect to the claims they've made.

Thanks in advance.


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## Lunger (Sep 13, 2017)

Tell him to keep his mouth shut and his perversions to himself and he will be fine.

Just like everybody else.


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## Wonkytonk (Jan 28, 2018)

backcountryrez said:


> The thread really shouldn't have gotten that far down the slippery slope about perceptions of homosexuals by non-homosexuals.


But it's those perceptions that frequently lead to violence against gays which I think is the point the OP was trying to convey to the potential rider of which he spoke.


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## Bbonez (Aug 10, 2018)

Wonkytonk said:


> To which specific claims are you referring?
> 
> Also please point me to all of the data shared by everyone else in this topic with respect to the claims they've made.
> 
> Thanks in advance.


You are absolutely correct. Everyone has been making bogus unsubstantiated statements and I took it out on you because you have been the loudest. I apologize.


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## Wonkytonk (Jan 28, 2018)

Bbonez said:


> You are absolutely correct. Everyone has been making bogus unsubstantiated statements and I took it out on you because you have been the loudest. I apologize.


Most prolific perhaps, I'm a giver that way. For example at the moment I give unto you a thanks.


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## Halfmybrain (Mar 3, 2018)

Ride-Share-Risk-Manager said:


> The challenge that other drivers and I see is that Rick is a very out and somewhat flamboyant gay man. He works as a hairdresser and waxologist. He thought that driving for Uber and Lyft might help him drum up some new customers for his salon . . .


Without reading all the posts, I bet 99% of them are responding to the wrong thing.

Your friend needs to get this straight: Hair dressers dress hair. Waxologists remove hair. Rideshare drivers transport passengers from Point A to Point B . "Drumming up customers" is what a salesperson or marketer does.



HotUberMess said:


> Every market is different but I *really* feel my audience out . . .


Do you ever get slapped?


----------



## Ride-Share-Risk-Manager (Mar 16, 2017)

A few of us spoke with Rick this morning, he read this thread and your respective comments. For those it kept comments focused, compassionate, humorous and polite but firm advice, we thank you. I think that the input from drivers here confirmed my belief that an out gay man driving Uber is at significantly higher risk of assault and violence versus a straight man. Rick said that he is going to give driving ride share a shot and do the following based on your collective input:

1. Keep conversation with male passengers to a minimum.
2. Remove all accessories from his car and just keep it clean, efficient and smelling good.
3. Avoid all Pool Rides.
4. Only drive Uber as Lyft has too many shared rides that all end in the hood.
5. Drive mornings and early evenings only and avoid night rides.
6. Keep pepper spray and a small baseball bat in the car to defend himself.
7. Maintain dashcam at all times.


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## Cableguynoe (Feb 14, 2017)

backcountryrez said:


> I agree with most of the comments here, particularly by Cableguynoe.


I knew I liked you


----------



## Steve_TX (Feb 2, 2016)

Pulledclear said:


> Now there's a realistic outlook on the hateful shortcomings (no pun intended) of segments of humanity. How are things going in la la land?


WTF? What is hateful about what I wrote? I wrote nothing hateful towards any segment and wrote nothing hateful coming from any segment. Are you trolling, dealing with comprehension problems, or just seeing things that aren't there?


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## Texie Driver (Sep 5, 2018)

Steve_TX said:


> WTF? What is hateful about what I wrote? I wrote nothing hateful towards any segment and wrote nothing hateful coming from any segment. Are you trolling, dealing with comprehension problems, or just seeing things that aren't there?


you misread that?

i read

your outlook = realistic

on segments of society that have hateful shortcomings


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## Steve_TX (Feb 2, 2016)

Texie Driver said:


> you misread that?
> 
> i read
> 
> ...


Upon second read of that, yes I agree. I guess I'm the one with comprehension problems


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## Tysmith95 (Jan 30, 2017)

I don't know why being gay is an issue. Doesn't matter if you're gay or straight, it might be construed as harassment if you hit on passengers.


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## bobbbobbobb (Apr 12, 2018)

They'd be generally pretty popular here in Minneapolis/St. Paul.

It seems that you're attributing a complete lack of sensibility to your friend, as if he can't tell the difference between bros and everyone else. Maybe give him more credit than that?



Halfmybrain said:


> Without reading all the posts, I bet 99% of them are responding to the wrong thing.
> 
> Your friend needs to get this straight: Hair dressers dress hair. Waxologists remove hair. Rideshare drivers transport passengers from Point A to Point B . "Drumming up customers" is what a salesperson or marketer does.
> 
> Do you ever get slapped?


Exactly what I was thinking. Who says you can't do two kinds of interactionsint once? Have you ever notice that people in business almost always do this? Most commonly, they work on the business transaction and they network at the same time. So Halfmybrain, your
righteousness is really dishonest because I'll bet you're aware of this.


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## Pulledclear (Oct 31, 2017)

Steve_TX said:


> WTF? What is hateful about what I wrote? I wrote nothing hateful towards any segment and wrote nothing hateful coming from any segment. Are you trolling, dealing with comprehension problems, or just seeing things that aren't there?


I was not implying that you are hateful but that others can be. I do however feel the statement "It's just as safe for gay men, straight men, gay women, or straight women to be ride share drivers" Is naive and flawed. I'm only speaking in relation the market I drive in. Gay men and Women face far more challenges on this job especially when dealing with drunk males.


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## Steve_TX (Feb 2, 2016)

Got it on the ‘hateful’ part. We’re cool.

However , I fail to believe that gay men and women are not as safe as others being rideshare drivers. Gender and/or sexual orientation has little to do with protecting oneself in this job. What does matter is confidence and competency. I know gay and/or female police officers, EMTs, convenience/liquor store clerks, truck drivers, etc. who have no problems with their safety on the job. Rideshare driving is a similar deal.

If *any* driver feels unsafe driving, perhaps consider driving in safer areas, drive only during daylight hours, or consider another gig.


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## Christinebitg (Jun 29, 2018)

Bbonez said:


> They do in prison.


Straight guys get raped in prison too.

Just sayin'.

Christine



Ride-Share-Risk-Manager said:


> A few of us spoke with Rick this morning, he read this thread and your respective comments. For those it kept comments focused, compassionate, humorous and polite but firm advice, we thank you. I think that the input from drivers here confirmed my belief that an out gay man driving Uber is at significantly higher risk of assault and violence versus a straight man. Rick said that he is going to give driving ride share a shot and do the following based on your collective input:
> 
> 1. Keep conversation with male passengers to a minimum.
> 2. Remove all accessories from his car and just keep it clean, efficient and smelling good.
> ...


Thank you for a well thought out response. I appreciate it.

Reading the replies here has been interesting, even eye-opening in some ways. Plenty of stuff to think about.

I wish your friend Rick good fortune and safe travels.

Christine


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## FXService (Oct 8, 2017)

As a gay driver myself I have never had an issue. But I'm also not as flamboyant as you describe your friend. That aside he shouldn't be flirting with pax at all. It's completely unprofessional regardless of sexuality. Other than that he should do fine. Especially if he drives midmorning week days in affluent areas where he can target his business to housewives.


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## Ribak (Jun 30, 2017)

Ride-Share-Risk-Manager said:


> We have a friend of ours who approached our driver group and wanted advice on driving Uber and Lyft part time. Rick is a great guy, very friendly, good driving record and has already been accepted by Uber and Lyft. The challenge that other drivers and I see is that Rick is a very out and somewhat flamboyant gay man. He works as a hairdresser and waxologist. He thought that driving for Uber and Lyft might help him drum up some new customers for his salon and help him make some short term cash. Our concern is that Rick can be very flirtatious with other straight men in our driver group and we are worried that he might do that while driving. We just don't think that he will be safe driving in Northern NJ with some of the hoodlums that get in our cars. But also, with drunk frat boys and guys coming out of bars that will not take kindly to a gay man flirting with them or just being himself. I think he will be a big hit with women passengers, but we are concerned about his safety out there on the road especially as he plans to drive nights and weekends.
> 
> I just thought I would put it out there to see what other drivers think and I am asking Rick to read this site and the feedback from UP posters. Thoughtful and insightful responses and questions based on experiences of other gay male drivers would be most appreciated.


Great way for some pax to be introduced to the diversity of our world. Sounds like Rick will have a blast at this gig and will most likely earn some big tips. As with all drivers, be aware of the environment and view each ride/rider with proper due care. Yes, unfortunately, Rick may encounter some unfortunate backlash. However, that is no different than a Muslim/Jew driver wearing a prayer cap or a female driver dressing provocatively. I wish Rick the best of luck and safe driving. This will most likely result in new clients for his salon (gay, straight, male, female, young, old, etc...)


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## RynoHawk (Mar 15, 2017)

Does he not interact with the straight male public in any other circumstance? However his interaction and perception is in those instances will likely be the same driving rideshare. The only difference being that he'll likely increase his exposure to straight people, in which it would be no different than any other activity that would do same.


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## Scott.Sul (Sep 9, 2015)

Didn't read pages 2-6 so not sure what was said but in my opinion, I'm sure he'll do a fabulous job.


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## Fauxknight (Aug 12, 2014)

Wonkytonk said:


> The OP made it pretty clear the driver in question isn't a gay that can go unnoticed as a gay man. That isn't a function of personal choice on his part either.


It might not be a choice to be gay, but there is some amount of conscious choice in being flamingly gay. Just like I don't go out and try to be as super hetero male masculine as I can, I don't randomly yell common bro phrases or hoot and hooting and holler at any woman that crosses my path. I've made a conscious choice to be more respectful of other people and I appreciate it when others act the same.

That being said I drive the super macho bros and the flamingly gay all the same. They don't get any trouble from me, but I still wish they would respect me and others by keeping it to themselves. Straight or gay, I don't think people need to broadcast their sexuality, thus the less I know the better.


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## Dammit Mazzacane (Dec 31, 2015)

SoFlaDriver said:


> I have no clue what you're talking about. I did not by any means conflate those two things. I thought I was pretty clear about how some people might have issues with the driver's personality if he came across as obviously gay, and yes, someone who had a problem with that and that alone is clearly homophobic.


NO.
This is not.
Personality and sexual identity are two very different items.
You are conflating.

I have a dislike to dealing with overly effeminate, sensitive women who can't be bothered to lift a finger and rely on makeup/body appearance/etc/blah blah and focus on vapid crap and don't put effort into things. Does that make me a something-phobe? Either heterophobe or homophobe in this binary presumption?


----------



## Wonkytonk (Jan 28, 2018)

Fauxknight said:


> Just like I don't go out and try to be as super hetero male masculine as I can, I don't randomly yell common bro phrases or hoot and hooting and holler at any woman that crosses my path. I've made a conscious choice to be more respectful of other people and I appreciate it when others act the same.


You may have a point there brah, but at the end of the day an effeminate gay man is still going to sound like an effeminate gay man, and no matter where he's at in this country he's pretty much going to be accused of doing it on purpose, aka choosing it.


----------



## Dammit Mazzacane (Dec 31, 2015)

Over/Uber said:


> A gay may shouldn't try to act heterosexual.


I'd contend that there is no such thing as "acting" heterosexual or homosexual. Personality differs from identity or orientation. That was my beef on the other post.


----------



## Over/Uber (Jan 2, 2017)

Dammit Mazzacane said:


> I'd contend that there is no such thing as "acting" heterosexual or homosexual. Personality differs from identity or orientation. That was my beef on the other post.


You verify my point: no one should have to consciously try to be someone or something they're not or something others might expect.


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## Shakur (Jan 8, 2017)

lol id be weirded out if i get in a uber and a dude hits on me

had gay driver before and i didnt even realize he was gay until i started talkin about some chicks and i felt the energy change like he was disappointed

i tried to keep somewhat of a convo to not be a butthole.....

as a rider i flirted with female drivers before...rememeber i got this one number where she was baaaad, but she had kids..... and she wanted too much lol...

got hit on as a driver before too....3 girls going out and one of them was trying to get me "away" for the night lmao....told her i had plans and she kept insisting we exchange numbers and was trying to get me to comeback later on...

before hitting on a driver i always gauged the situation, if her body language and all context clues say no then i dont because its a respect thing...i imagine they have quite a few trying to hit on them and not just me lol. im pretty concise and to the point.

passenger is a different ball game though...pretty much let them come on to me or they need to show those context clues....not shooting my shot unless im sure she wants me to...


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## Texie Driver (Sep 5, 2018)

Wonkytonk said:


> You may have a point there brah, but at the end of the day an effeminate gay man is still going to sound like an effeminate gay man, and no matter where he's at in this country he's pretty much going to be accused of doing it on purpose, aka choosing it.


In the same way no amount of shaming, badgering, and correcting succeeded to make me "act ladylike".


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## Dammit Mazzacane (Dec 31, 2015)

Shakur said:


> lol id be weirded out if i get in a uber and a dude hits on me


Wait 'til your passenger tries to feel you up and invites you to his place. True story. 
"Sorry man, not interested!" "Oh yeah, well I'll give you one star!" "Get out."


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## freeFromUber (Mar 1, 2016)

Ride-Share-Risk-Manager said:


> We have a friend of ours who approached our driver group and wanted advice on driving Uber and Lyft part time. Rick is a great guy, very friendly, good driving record and has already been accepted by Uber and Lyft. The challenge that other drivers and I see is that Rick is a very out and somewhat flamboyant gay man. He works as a hairdresser and waxologist. He thought that driving for Uber and Lyft might help him drum up some new customers for his salon and help him make some short term cash. Our concern is that Rick can be very flirtatious with other straight men in our driver group and we are worried that he might do that while driving. We just don't think that he will be safe driving in Northern NJ with some of the hoodlums that get in our cars. But also, with drunk frat boys and guys coming out of bars that will not take kindly to a gay man flirting with them or just being himself. I think he will be a big hit with women passengers, but we are concerned about his safety out there on the road especially as he plans to drive nights and weekends.
> 
> I just thought I would put it out there to see what other drivers think and I am asking Rick to read this site and the feedback from UP posters. Thoughtful and insightful responses and questions based on experiences of other gay male drivers would be most appreciated.


I had a pax once who said he insulted a gay driver once. I said, "what happened?"
He said..."he hit me with his purse."
C'est la vie!


----------



## Kodyhead (May 26, 2015)

Dammit Mazzacane said:


> I'd contend that there is no such thing as "acting" heterosexual or homosexual. Personality differs from identity or orientation. That was my beef on the other post.


There is someone I used go work with that sounds like a flaming gay guy but English isn't his first language but easily interpreted as gay but he is actually married to a woman lol. He might be bi


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## freeFromUber (Mar 1, 2016)

Ride-Share-Risk-Manager said:


> No, its a serious question about the safety of a gay man who is part of our driver community and a good friend who we don't want to see being hurt or injured or killed because he is an out gay man and he picks up the wrong people.


Look...he could be in the produce section of shop rite and meet "the wrong people", just tell him to stay in his room and never leave his house for the rest of his life. Come on man, you're smarter than this...(I thought).



emdeplam said:


> Ride-Share-Risk-Manager Rideshare welcomes all types, just be respectful and courteous!
> 
> I think you will be fine so good luck out there. No reason you can't be proud of who you are, but also remember to provide your passengers personal space.


You're from California, right?


----------



## Curt Ericson (Mar 10, 2018)

Ride-Share-Risk-Manager said:


> We have a friend of ours who approached our driver group and wanted advice on driving Uber and Lyft part time. Rick is a great guy, very friendly, good driving record and has already been accepted by Uber and Lyft. The challenge that other drivers and I see is that Rick is a very out and somewhat flamboyant gay man. He works as a hairdresser and waxologist. He thought that driving for Uber and Lyft might help him drum up some new customers for his salon and help him make some short term cash. Our concern is that Rick can be very flirtatious with other straight men in our driver group and we are worried that he might do that while driving. We just don't think that he will be safe driving in Northern NJ with some of the hoodlums that get in our cars. But also, with drunk frat boys and guys coming out of bars that will not take kindly to a gay man flirting with them or just being himself. I think he will be a big hit with women passengers, but we are concerned about his safety out there on the road especially as he plans to drive nights and weekends.
> 
> I just thought I would put it out there to see what other drivers think and I am asking Rick to read this site and the feedback from UP posters. Thoughtful and insightful responses and questions based on experiences of other gay male drivers would be most appreciated.


I'm gay and don't encounter any issues-but I don't hit on customers. It's not legal to do so. Every customer, male or female, has a right to pay for a ride and not be made to feel uncomfortable. No more discussion needed on the subject of hitting on customers.


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## Shakur (Jan 8, 2017)

Dammit Mazzacane said:


> Wait 'til your passenger tries to feel you up and invites you to his place. True story.
> "Sorry man, not interested!" "Oh yeah, well I'll give you one star!" "Get out."


Lol thats ground to report for sexual assault

Even better if you have dash cam


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## bobby747 (Dec 29, 2015)

just dont talk. work tough guy bar crowds..sports events like pro football. I get some tough guys sometimes...if flirty gay... not good with losing teams 4 Male angry pass....even reg. non gay drivers.
these are bad customers. drunk too


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## Michael1230nj (Jun 23, 2017)

Hmmm he might be of service to some hairy riders being a Waxoligist.


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## Ride-Share-Risk-Manager (Mar 16, 2017)

freeFromUber said:


> I had a pax once who said he insulted a gay driver once. I said, "what happened?"
> He said..."he hit me with his purse."
> C'est la vie!


Thanks for the juvenile response.


----------



## RaleighUber (Dec 4, 2016)

Ride-Share-Risk-Manager said:


> Rick is a great guy, very friendly, good driving record and has already been accepted by Uber and Lyft. The challenge that other drivers and I see is that Rick is a very out and somewhat flamboyant gay man. He works as a hairdresser and waxologist. He thought that driving for Uber and Lyft might help him drum up some new customers for his salon and help him make some short term cash. Our concern is that Rick can be very flirtatious with other straight men in our driver group and we are worried that he might do that while driving.


If he's successful cutting men's hair and waxing men, then he *can* keep the flirtatious behavior in check at least for the first few appointments. Tell him that if he can treat every pax like he treats his first appointment with a new male client, he'll be fine. If he has no male clients, or he can't control his behavior, he should cancel all rides with men and only drive women.


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## Clarity (Sep 20, 2018)

Ride-Share-Risk-Manager said:


> ...but also, with drunk frat boys and guys coming out of bars that will not take kindly to a gay man flirting with them or just being himself.


Those were the exact people I thought of as I read this post. I hear the kind of things these kinda guys talk about when there is more than one in my car. Some of them have big egos. I can only imagine what would happen if he were to flirt with these kinda guys. I don't blame you for being concerned. He'd have to really hold his composure and keep it professional. Especially if he wants to keep his rating high.


----------



## Slim Pete (Nov 21, 2014)

Ride-Share-Risk-Manager said:


> Thanks for the juvenile response.
> 
> Thanks for the juvenile response.


Your posts are mostly hard to believe. From the fact that you claim to have lawsuits against more passengers than I can count, to your claim about your nephew who beds multiple women in Bergen County, to that the actor you picked up in Alpine or somewhere who tried to molest you, I don't take any of your stuff seriously. However I love reading your posts, purely for the entertainment value. Hence the juvenile response. I feel sorry for the fools who try to give painstaking replies to your posts most of which are figments of your imagination.


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## Clarity (Sep 20, 2018)

Jo3030 said:


> ...I've been dinged before for seemingly innocuous conversation so I adapted to not even talking unless talked to.
> Even still, I self censor and don't really say everything I am thinking. It makes for a better overall experience.
> 
> One of the biggest pet peeves for riders is a chatty driver so your friend MUST use body language cues to see if people even want to talk.


I agree. When I first started I used to try to converse with most of the passengers. I eventually realized that it wasn't necessary to do that. I stopped doing that and only speak when spoken to 98% of the time. I'm an introverted extrovert. I can hold a conversation but when better when it's not forced and the other person initiates.


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## Shakur (Jan 8, 2017)

OP you have a strange imagination going through some post history of yours

Lets Try to keep your sexual fantasy and innuendos to yourself

This is not the appropriate forum to solicit/share those desires


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## Ride-Share-Risk-Manager (Mar 16, 2017)

Shakur said:


> OP you have a strange imagination going through some post history of yours
> 
> Lets Try to keep your sexual fantasy and innuendos to yourself
> 
> This is not the appropriate forum to solicit/share those desires


Don't know what you are talking about but this is an open forum where posters can share what they want. If you don't like what I share, just put me on your ignore list.



Slim Pete said:


> Your posts are mostly hard to believe. From the fact that you claim to have lawsuits against more passengers than I can count, to your claim about your nephew who beds multiple women in Bergen County, to that the actor you picked up in Alpine or somewhere who tried to molest you, I don't take any of your stuff seriously. However I love reading your posts, purely for the entertainment value. Hence the juvenile response. I feel sorry for the fools who try to give painstaking replies to your posts most of which are figments of your imagination.


As I have suggested to your many times, just put me on your ignore list. I will continue sharing on UP as I see fit and within the rules.


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## Mista T (Aug 16, 2017)

Glad to hear that Rick has recognized the dangers of over-flamboyance in Jersey.

In an ideal world, we should all be free to act and say as we please, without fear for personal safety. No concerns for gang violence, homophobia, rape, theft, drunk driving, or anything else.

Then again, in an ideal world we should be able to work for a company that didnt lie to us and change the "rules of the game" on a whim.


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## Paul Vincent (Jan 15, 2016)

Brett Kavanaugh says no


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