# Whats the wierdest encounter you have had with a PAX



## uberXGuy727

So for me the weirdest thing that happened was, I pulled up to the location and a guy in a cape roller bladed up to my car and hopped in. I turned around once he was into greet him and realized, the cape, roller blades, and speedos was all that he had on, he wanted to go to the gas station 2 minutes from his house and back home. Whats your weirdest story?


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## BDAWG

I went to pick up a pax ended up dude called it for his date (escort) they started arguing about money and him not being able to cuz of all the blow they did she was mad chill I took her to her hotel where her pimp wasn't at yet so the dude tipped me 100 to take her back and she tipped me 20....she was only 20 years old poor thing


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## elelegido

An Uber pax once gave me some cash just before he got out of the car at the end of the trip. Folded up in his hand; he passed it right over the center armrest and gave it to me.

Other than that, I had a pax tell me he was a "cleaning man" for the NSA, recently returned from a trip down to Mexico to take out some garbage apparently. Then he said he was looking for a "mayordomo" (butler?) and asked if I wanted a job.


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## Teksaz

Not weird but a first for me, I believe.

Picked up a cute little thang yesterday. Said she was late for work. Got on our way and man, was she a chatter box. 8.5 miles/19 minutes of non stop convo. About half way through the trip it came out that she was an employee of Uber Technology in downtown Phoenix. lol

Oh, almost forgot. No tip. lol


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## MyLeft

elelegido said:


> An Uber pax once gave me some cash just before he got out of the car at the end of the trip. Folded up in his hand; he passed it right over the center armrest and gave it to me.
> 
> Other than that, I had a pax tell me he was a "cleaning man" for the NSA, recently returned from a trip down to Mexico to take out some garbage apparently. Then he said he was looking for a "mayordomo" (butler?) and asked if I wanted a job.


Doubt an "NSA" cleaning man would tell someone what he does.


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## SibeRescueBrian

About 2 months ago, I dropped a pax off in Ewing, NJ. I immediately got pinged from an address that was only 5 houses away from there. As I pulled forward, I saw a young lady climbing out what I assume to be a bedroom window. Someone from inside the house was holding her arms to help lower her safely to the ground. Still carrying her shoes, she ran over to my car and started pulling on my locked door. As I rolled down my passenger side window, she said "I'm (account name). Please unlock the door and let's go. I already put the destination in." Since those were the magic words, I did. Once we turned the corner, she breathed a sigh of relief and seemed to relax. I didn't ask any questions other than to verify her destination and what route she wanted me to take. She didn't volunteer any information about what went down at the house. I can only assume that someone, either a parent or wife, woke up or arrived on the scene early, creating the need for a hasty exit. The ride was only about 5 1/2 miles, but she gave me a sincere thank you along with a $10 tip. 5 Stars.


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## elelegido

MyLeft said:


> Doubt an "NSA" cleaning man would tell someone what he does.


Could be perfect cover for the independent contractor. Tell everyone you meet... everyone thinks you are a fruitcake; nobody suspects.


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## UberBeemer

SibeRescueBrian said:


> About 2 months ago, I dropped a pax off in Ewing, NJ. I immediately got pinged from an address that was only 5 houses away from there. As I pulled forward, I saw a young lady climbing out what I assume to be a bedroom window. Someone from inside the house was holding her arms to help lower her safely to the ground. Still carrying her shoes, she ran over to my car and started pulling on my locked door. As I rolled down my passenger side window, she said "I'm (account name). Please unlock the door and let's go. I already put the destination in." Since those were the magic words, I did. Once we turned the corner, she breathed a sigh of relief and seemed to relax. I didn't ask any questions other than to verify her destination and what route she wanted me to take. She didn't volunteer any information about what went down at the house. I can only assume that someone, either a parent or wife, woke up or arrived on the scene early, creating the need for a hasty exit. The ride was only about 5 1/2 miles, but she gave me a sincere thank you along with a $10 tip. 5 Stars.


That would make a fun dashcam video...


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## D Town

elelegido said:


> Could be perfect cover for the independent contractor. Tell everyone you meet... everyone thinks you are a fruitcake; nobody suspects.


A better cover would be ANYTHING ELSE. A plumber, an accountant, a banker. More than likely anyone who tells you that is a wanna be who is full of crap. I've known too many guys like that...


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## AtlCruizin

Any trip where the rider sits in the front seat, yet doesn't seek conversation is weird


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## Dan Dixon

MyLeft said:


> Doubt an "NSA" cleaning man would tell someone what he does.


Until shortly after 9/11 NSA unofficially stood for "No Such Agency". It really should have stayed that way.


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## DieselkW

Sunday morning in August, dawn - ping to an address where, of course, the mailboxes are on the house with numbers about the size of purely theoretical particles 100 feet from the street. 

I call her and ask "what color is the house, I'm in the middle of the block, is it the blue one or the green one?"

She says: "I don't know what color the house is."

She comes out of the green one, shoes in her hand wearing last night's evening dress. She is spectacularly pretty without makeup, the kind of pretty that will likely be with her for a long time to come. Gratefully accepts the mint I offer, I know she woke up miles from her toothbrush.

No conversation at all. Stares out the window. Misty eyes. I tell her I like her neighborhood as we approach destination - ... she says: "it's my parents house".

I hope her dad wasn't awake to see that... I was haunted by that ride for days.


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## iheartuber

Sun Morn 8am, I pick up a pax outside the Hospital. He looks a little dazed. I ask him, "Are you alright?" he says yeah. We drive a little and I ask him, "So, did you go out last night?" and he goes "Yeah, kinda. Sorta. I was at a party and I drank so much I blacked out. Someone got me here. I had alcohol poisoning." I was like, "Wow, ok, well take it easy bother. So.. where you off to now?" He goes, "Oh, I'm going to work." I was like "Damn, son.. you are a warrior!"


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## UberMeansSuper

Teksaz said:


> Picked up a cute little thang yesterday


[anticipating great story!



Teksaz said:


> .5 miles/19 minutes of non stop convo


[Maybe he asked for her number? Still some potential here!]



Teksaz said:


> she was an employee of Uber Technology


[OH GOD NO! Stop the ride!!]



Teksaz said:


> No tip.


[Figures. Heartbreak but not really]


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## heynow321

I had a funny experience with a woman on Lyft a few months ago. 

I picked her up in front of a local wine bar (basically a place for milfs to get wasted and call their alcoholism classy b/c it's wine). She was blonde (fake), fake boobs, expensive clothes, looks like she may have had a facelift or something, etc. She could have been right out of a Real Housewives show...

She gets in and, of course, hadn't put a destination in so I ask her where she would like to go. She says "to get another drink with you!" to which I laugh. She wanted to go somewhere that was about 20 minutes away so we start the trip. Immediately she starts giving me her drunken life story which is mostly complaining about her husband. It was a pretty classic case of marrying the older rich guy but as older rich guy gets older, he doesn't want to do the same dumb stuff that blonde bimbo is into. 

At one point, she started tearing up while saying "I'm going to have to get a divorce again, I can't believe it!". Anyway, so we pull up to her house which is a beautiful mansion way up on a hill with one hell of a view. I end the trip etc. but now she wants to show me pictures of her kids on her phone (much to my annoyance). After a few minutes of me faking sincerity about interest in her kids, she finally leaves. 

Fast forward 2 weeks later or so and I get her again! This time she wants to be picked up at her house. I arrive and...shockingly....she's not ready to go. She screams down to the road from the deck of the mansion saying she just has to take care of a few things and will be right out. More than 10 minutes later, she finally comes out (normally I'd cancel and move on but I was curious to see what kind of craziness was happening in her life now and if she'd remember me). 

She finally comes out and gets in. We exchange pleasantries etc. but she clearly does not remember me. At some point, she mentioned something about marital difficulties so I thought it an opportune time to jog her memory. She remembers me now and starts saying how she knows all the local Lyft in the area etc. Now that she remembers me, she starts getting into more details. She took so long to "get ready" b/c she had to finish smoking weed lol. She then tells me she's going to a restaurant in the area to meet a guy she had met earlier at Costco and basically admits that she's probably going to have an affair. This was all justified b/c she had convinced herself that her husband "was probably cheating too" on extended business trips he takes. She was a bit of a mess but made for a very entertaining passenger!


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## Aztek98

I picked up a college student at an apartment and was taking her to her dorm.

She was cute but a mess. I asked her if she had a rough night. Her reply was she was on " the drive of shame"

We both laughed.


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## noshodee

Picked up a PAX from the hospital with his arm in a sling. He broke his collar bone and his Dr. refused his insurance so he couldn't get his pain meds. As soon as he got in the car he starts cursing and saying he's going back to shoot the entire staff in the face and blow their heads off. He was out of his mind. I got him in and out as fast as possible. Very awkward and uncomfortable...so much so, that I called it a day after dropping him off.


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## FLGuy

Picked up two beautiful college gals in VERY short dresses going to a hot dance club couple weeks ago. They wouldn't shut up the whole way about this guy and that guy. When we got there, the gal sitting behind me said here's your tip, laughed and got out. No $$ handed over so I figured it was just a bad joke. The next rider when he got in the back seat said there was a thong panty lieing on the back seat floor. Guess that was supposed to be my tip.


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## Nick3946

noshodee said:


> Picked up a PAX from the hospital with his arm in a sling. He broke his collar bone and his Dr. refused his insurance so he couldn't get his pain meds. As soon as he got in the car he starts cursing and saying he's going back to shoot the entire staff in the face and blow their heads off. He was out of his mind. I got him in and out as fast as possible. Very awkward and uncomfortable...so much so, that I called it a day after dropping him off.


I'd say the Dr figured he was a druggy right away.


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## mrhits

Ride in the castro after 2am:
Drunk pax: Are you gay?
Me: Uhh...no.
Drunk pax: Not even a little curious?
Me: Naw, not event a little curious.

A different ride in the castro with a XL full of guys.
Pax(s): Are you gay?
me: No
Pax(S): (flip out cry) How do you live in San Francisco and not be gay?
me: Um.. I like **** and puxxy.
Pax(S): Ok... this is what we are going to do, come upstairs with us. We will play a beyonce CD from start to finish. By the time we get to the end of the CD you will be gay.

---------------------
So apparently there is a conversion ceremony? Or something?


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## Jacobb

Picked up a mom and here son from a gay night club. Both were gay and talking about the people they previously hooked up with. I don't have a problem with homosexuals, but something about a MOM and her SON both going out drinking and partying together, and then talking about who they had sex with, is just creepy as sh!t.


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## D Town

Jacobb said:


> Picked up a mom and here son from a gay night club. Both were gay and talking about the people they previously hooked up with. I don't have a problem with homosexuals, but something about a MOM and her SON both going out drinking and partying together, and then talking about who they had sex with, is just creepy as sh!t.


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## RamzFanz

noshodee said:


> Picked up a PAX from the hospital with his arm in a sling. He broke his collar bone and his Dr. refused his insurance so he couldn't get his pain meds. As soon as he got in the car he starts cursing and saying he's going back to shoot the entire staff in the face and blow their heads off. He was out of his mind. I got him in and out as fast as possible. Very awkward and uncomfortable...so much so, that I called it a day after dropping him off.


Please tell me you called the police, the hospital, and reported to Uber. You can't ignore that stuff in today's world.


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## Oscar Levant

uberXGuy727 said:


> So for me the weirdest thing that happened was, I pulled up to the location and a guy in a cape roller bladed up to my car and hopped in. I turned around once he was into greet him and realized, the cape, roller blades, and speedos was all that he had on, he wanted to go to the gas station 2 minutes from his house and back home. Whats your weirdest story?


Warning, this is a tad X rated, and no one is going to believe this, but I swear this happened. Back in my cabbie days, long time ago, I picked up a lesbian from a woman's bar, or any woman coming out of a girl's bar I would be safe to assume she was a lesbian, or bi. She sat in the back seat. She tossed something into the front sit that landed on the floor, it was her panties. I glanced back to see what she was doing and said "WTF?" and she was masturbating and started bragging about her anatomy. She did, I admit, have a lot to brag about, I'd say she was one of the "libstick lesbian types" and she was pretty nice about it, but apparently she didn't realize that such a thing might make a driver uncomfortable as well as the fact that another driver might not be the nice guy that I was. What really got weird is that she wanted me to perform cunning linguistics on her at a location where others were watching. Sorry, that's way over the top for a guy like me. I noticed she was wearing a tiny coke spoon on a necklace, maybe that had something to do with her condition. Needless to say, that's one I'll never forget.

I guess she didn't get lucky at the bar, go figure, but modest she was not.


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## Fuzzyelvis

Oscar Levant said:


> Warning, this is a tad X rated, and no one is going to believe this, but I swear this happened. Back in my cabbie days, long time ago, I picked up a lesbian from a woman's bar, or any woman coming out of a girl's bar I would be safe to assume she was a lesbian, or bi. She sat in the back seat. She tossed something into the front sit that landed on the floor, it was her panties. I glanced back to see what she was doing and said "WTF?" and she was masturbating and started bragging about her anatomy. She did, I admit, have a lot to brag about, I'd say she was one of the "libstick lesbian types" and she was pretty nice about it, but apparently she didn't realize that such a thing might make a driver uncomfortable as well as the fact that another driver might not be the nice guy that I was. What really got weird is that she wanted me to perform cunning linguistics on her at a location where others were watching. Sorry, that's way over the top for a guy like me. I noticed she was wearing a tiny coke spoon on a necklace, maybe that had something to do with her condition. Needless to say, that's one I'll never forget.
> 
> I guess she didn't get lucky at the bar, go figure, but modest she was not.


"Cunning linguistics" lol.

I love auto correct sometimes.


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## LadyDi

#1 - First night out was Thanksgiving eve and I had one drunken female and a very nice friend of hers, a male, to get her home. Long story short, she was the best drunk so far as I never knew she was in the car. She was out cold. But as I pulled a U-turn on the one way street and reparked for her male friend to get back in the car... I crushed his iPhone that HAD been on the top of my car. Oooooooooooooooops. And yes I reported it JUST IN CASE.

#2 - Thanksgiving night, last right of the night was a certified crack head. Needed to go 40 miles away for both his fixes. So he gets both in a rough area of town and we skidaddle out of there. About 10 mins from his house (BTW - this ended up being a round trip fare to and from home mind you but I restarted the fare because of the wait for Fix #2 - 2 legged), I smell metal burning and hear the discussion including "bong", "screen" and "rock". I am petrified but they are the calmest CH's I've ever seen. And the entire trip also included argument over her "costs". He was dumbing her down to $40, she was arguing for $100 because of the distance of travel. Talk about awkward. I peeled off so fast from his house I couldn't get away fast enough. And she needed to get back to her original location, I turned my app of promptly.

#3 - This past Saturday night I pick up a rider and his date of the night I guess and I am asked several times "do you want a goat" throughout the over 30 min ride. I am laughing it off as he tells me I MUST see his goats. He has a "Goatel" and yada yada. Sure enough we get to this million dollar mansion and 6 goats are screamed for at 3am. They come out like "WTF did you wake us up for now".

I need a DashCam and fast.


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## Ssjoe11nc

Picked up a girl from a hotel. She was on the phone with some guy. i started to follow her directions on how to get to her house and I over here the conversation she is having. It seems like her bf was trying to figure out were she was and what time she was coming home. She kept responding that she was in a meeting with her co-workers. Little did her bf know that she was at the hotel screwing some dude. Oh and she lived like 2 houses away from my parents house lol


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## D Town

LadyDi said:


> I need a DashCam and fast.


Yes...you do. No one should Uber without one.


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## Oscar Levant

Fuzzyelvis said:


> "Cunning linguistics" lol.
> 
> I love auto correct sometimes.


No, that was intentional. Some say I'm a funny guy


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## LadyDi

D Town said:


> Yes...you do. No one should Uber without one.


Can you recommend one D Town??


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## D Town

LadyDi said:


> Can you recommend one D Town??


I have this one: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00E56WY18/?tag=ubne0c-20

From personal experience, it usually goes unnoticed, doesn't interfere with driving, and records good quality video during the day. The audio it picks up from the the front seat is ok. You get almost no audio from the back seat if the car is in motion. At night, the interior view is about useless unless you turn on the overhead light but for the price I'm good with it. If I still Uber'd - and if they ever allow us to make any decent money I will again - I'd invest in something a little more high end. They have a version of this camera that SEEMS to take care of the issues I listed here: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B01509B9OG/?tag=ubne0c-20

As you can see, the price goes WAY up. These are the cameras I have personal experience with though. Some other folks around here have experience with others. https://uberpeople.net/threads/falcon-zero-dash-cam.47023/


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## Justin Krauss

I had a drunk college student who told me they were not throwing up in my car WHILE they were throwing up in my car lol.


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## LadyDi

D Town said:


> I have this one: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00E56WY18/?tag=ubne0c-20
> 
> From personal experience, it usually goes unnoticed, doesn't interfere with driving, and records good quality video during the day. The audio it picks up from the the front seat is ok. You get almost no audio from the back seat if the car is in motion. At night, the interior view is about useless unless you turn on the overhead light but for the price I'm good with it. If I still Uber'd - and if they ever allow us to make any decent money I will again - I'd invest in something a little more high end. They have a version of this camera that SEEMS to take care of the issues I listed here: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B01509B9OG/?tag=ubne0c-20
> 
> As you can see, the price goes WAY up. These are the cameras I have personal experience with though. Some other folks around here have experience with others. https://uberpeople.net/threads/falcon-zero-dash-cam.47023/


Thank you D Town. Will look at everything you've linked.


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## RamzFanz

So, I am cruising through a rich neighborhood on my way to my honey holes knowing half the time I'm getting paid a solid fare to get where I want to go if I'm feeling patient. I get a ping.

It's 12 minutes away but I know ALL pings here are usually big fares headed downtown. Dude texts me his gate code, that's a double win, he has a gate AND thought to send me the code.

I get there and a man in a scarf on a warm night is frantically waving at me as if I wasn't already at his house. He rushes out, shakes my hand and introduces himself, and says "time is money, I know that, but the woman isn't ready, can you wait a few." Sure, I say.

He keeps checking on me every few minutes, obviously taxi trained, and offers water and apologies.

So she arrives and he opens the sliding door for her and she spills in. Wasted. Definitely downers while he is coked out it seems. She looks exactly like Juliette Lewis, except with long sparkly fake eyelashes.










He keeps going in and out of the house, opening and closing the garage, fetching things and whatnot.

She's in the back seat and out of nowhere says, "I got my wallet back." I ask how she lost it. "I lost it in Memphis when my car broke down, but here it is." I'm silent. She says "My 2 year old daughter was being babysat and the babysitter had a boy over who had a gun and she shot herself and my car broke down on the way to the funeral and I lost my wallet, but here it is."

She says "That was two months ago and people tell me I need to get over it but I cry. I might cry now."

Holy shit. I'm talking to her, listening, offer condolences.

The dude finally gets in. She has given me a destination which is a very nice fare. We pull out, drive two houses down, and he says "damn, my friends aren't ready, can you take me back and I'll have a beer, make some calls, and wait, and I'll give you $20 to wait for 10 minutes."

Sure. I'm really wanting to see what happens next.

He hands me $100. I say I can't break that but he wants me to hold it and stay. No problem.

He gently pulls her out of the car and they both go inside. He comes out five minutes later and says, "I'll give you the whole $50 to come back in forty minutes." I remind him he gave me $100. He's like, whatever, just come back. OK.

So I am sitting thinking I'll just be a few blocks away. Then I get a ping. I'll grab it, make a few bucks, get change, and come back.

I arrive at new ping and it's all Asian people going to a university and none speak english. They want to go on a huge fare that will make me late in my return. Screw it, I waited on him and I know he won't be ready, I'll be back within 10-15 minutes of my return time. Picture a van full of Asians discussing my speed in Chinese as I rush them to their conference hotel or whatever.

I drop them, rush back 15 miles, get there and ring bell. Dude answers and has no idea why I'm there. Come on in he says. They have a table and some moving boxes. She is sitting at the table looking at me like she can't see anything. He says, come back in thirty minutes, take the $50 for your trouble. I tell him he gave me $100. He asks, do you have change? I tell him I have $40. Deal is struck, I'm off, no way I'm going back.


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## LadyDi

RamzFanz - that is THE craziest night. Glad you made it out better than it could have been.


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## RockinEZ

SibeRescueBrian said:


> About 2 months ago, I dropped a pax off in Ewing, NJ. I immediately got pinged from an address that was only 5 houses away from there. As I pulled forward, I saw a young lady climbing out what I assume to be a bedroom window. Someone from inside the house was holding her arms to help lower her safely to the ground. Still carrying her shoes, she ran over to my car and started pulling on my locked door. As I rolled down my passenger side window, she said "I'm (account name). Please unlock the door and let's go. I already put the destination in." Since those were the magic words, I did. Once we turned the corner, she breathed a sigh of relief and seemed to relax. I didn't ask any questions other than to verify her destination and what route she wanted me to take. She didn't volunteer any information about what went down at the house. I can only assume that someone, either a parent or wife, woke up or arrived on the scene early, creating the need for a hasty exit. The ride was only about 5 1/2 miles, but she gave me a sincere thank you along with a $10 tip. 5 Stars.


Walk of Shame..... When I first started I did 12 hour shifts from 8pm to 8am. I made a lot of $$, but the pax were drunk, stoned and often mentally ill.

I did enjoy the Walk of Shame starting about 6:00 am. Smeared make up. Bra and panties sticking out of the top of her purse...... Walking like a bow legged West Texas cowboy.


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## Duststarr

1. A couple weeks after I started driving I picked up a couple. The woman was smashed. I watched them go up to the uber car ahead of me. While the guy is at the window checking if it's his car the woman opens the door and falls into the back seat. 

Guy upfront tells them they are not his ride so the guy spends like 5 minutes dragging the woman back out of that car and come to me. This time he keep ahold of her while confirming I am his ride. At which point he opens the back door, let's her fall into the backseat and gets in the front seat. 

All is peaceful for a moment while we confirm the drop off and get underway. After about a block, she starts kick my door, the front seat and throwing a full blow 2 year olds temper tantrum. This whole time she is screaming and crying. Yelling that she does not want to be in a uber, she wants to be home. He tells her that they are going home at which time she starts trying to kick him in the head. She even kicks my gear shift into nutral 3 times before he is able to get a grip on her leg and keep her relatively still.

10 minutes later we get to their drop off and she has passed out cold. Problem is that while she is not a fat chick she is tall and bigger than the guy. Took him 15 minutes to drag her out of the car and far enough away from the car that I could pull away. I did offer to help carry her, but he kept refusing. 

Then to top it off, I get a call the next day. She had kicked her purse up under the seat so neither of us saw it while getting her out. He did at least tip me $30 for returning it. 


#2. Second weirdest ride was a dude and two milfs in their upper 40's at one of our higher end bars in Dallas. One woman is at the obnoxious drunk stage. She spends the 30 minute ride physically wrestling the girl in the back seat and trying to put the guy up front in a choke hold. 

Problem was when she figured out how to pull the seat back so she could get a good grip on him. He starts flailing and kicks the car into neutral while doing 75 on the highway. 

This kind of behavior continues most of the trip, though I held onto the gear shift the rest of the ride. Finally get to the destination and do a quick scan of the back seat only to see a lovely large wet spot were the nut was sitting. She had PEED in the seat. Nasty!!!!!


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## D Town

Duststarr said:


> 1. A couple weeks after I started driving I picked up a couple. The woman was smashed. I watched them go up to the uber car ahead of me. While the guy is at the window checking if it's his car the woman opens the door and falls into the back seat.
> 
> Guy upfront tells them they are not his ride so the guy spends like 5 minutes dragging the woman back out of that car and come to me. This time he keep ahold of her while confirming I am his ride. At which point he opens the back door, let's her fall into the backseat and gets in the front seat.
> 
> All is peaceful for a moment while we confirm the drop off and get underway. After about a block, she starts kick my door, the front seat and throwing a full blow 2 year olds temper tantrum. This whole time she is screaming and crying. Yelling that she does not want to be in a uber, she wants to be home. He tells her that they are going home at which time she starts trying to kick him in the head. She even kicks my gear shift into nutral 3 times before he is able to get a grip on her leg and keep her relatively still.
> 
> 10 minutes later we get to their drop off and she has passed out cold. Problem is that while she is not a fat chick she is tall and bigger than the guy. Took him 15 minutes to drag her out of the car and far enough away from the car that I could pull away. I did offer to help carry her, but he kept refusing.
> 
> Then to top it off, I get a call the next day. She had kicked her purse up under the seat so neither of us saw it while getting her out. He did at least tip me $30 for returning it.
> 
> #2. Second weirdest ride was a dude and two milfs in their upper 40's at one of our higher end bars in Dallas. One woman is at the obnoxious drunk stage. She spends the 30 minute ride physically wrestling the girl in the back seat and trying to put the guy up front in a choke hold.
> 
> Problem was when she figured out how to pull the seat back so she could get a good grip on him. He starts flailing and kicks the car into neutral while doing 75 on the highway.
> 
> This kind of behavior continues most of the trip, though I held onto the gear shift the rest of the ride. Finally get to the destination and do a quick scan of the back seat only to see a lovely large wet spot were the nut was sitting. She had PEED in the seat. Nasty!!!!!


Here's a free tip:* kicking and fighting = get the fu*k out of my car.
*
The fare for those is NOT worth that. Seriously, WHY did you tolerate people who through their own drunken stupidity could have killed everyone in the car? Nope. Their done. They can walk themselves sober trying to get home.


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## Neil Yaremchuk

Picked up a girl at a house. She gets in and proceeds to tell me she that she just had sex with some guy who was a two-pump-chump and that she was still incredibly horny and then stops talking. Great right? I hear a scream from the back seat after three blocks of silence. I asked her if she was ok and her response was, "I'm fine. Just had to finish some business."


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## RockinEZ

Neil Yaremchuk said:


> Picked up a girl at a house. She gets in and proceeds to tell me she that she just had sex with some guy who was a two-pump-chump and that she was still incredibly horny and then stops talking. Great right? I hear a scream from the back seat after three blocks of silence. I asked her if she was ok and her response was, "I'm fine. Just had to finish some business."


Does Fabreeze get tuna smell out of the seats?


----------



## Coffeekeepsmedriving

uberXGuy727 said:


> So for me the weirdest thing that happened was, I pulled up to the location and a guy in a cape roller bladed up to my car and hopped in. I turned around once he was into greet him and realized, the cape, roller blades, and speedos was all that he had on, he wanted to go to the gas station 2 minutes from his house and back home. Whats your weirdest story?


I guess I would have to say a tip..


----------



## LadyDi

I'm with D Town, people like that have to go and quick. Those were two scary rides for sure Duststarr.


----------



## FLGuy

Picked up two gals Saturday morning stumbling out of a house and they ask to be taken to a downtown hotel. They were at a wedding the night before and ended up "at some guys house". I had bottles of water in the back arm rest which they loved me for. The one gal downed the bottle in about 10 seconds and asked if I had another bottle. Sure, no problem. She says "Maybe that'll get his taste out of my mouth". Love weddings with open bars *L*


----------



## Danz Haagen

uberXGuy727 said:


> So for me the weirdest thing that happened was, I pulled up to the location and a guy in a cape roller bladed up to my car and hopped in. I turned around once he was into greet him and realized, the cape, roller blades, and speedos was all that he had on, he wanted to go to the gas station 2 minutes from his house and back home. Whats your weirdest story?


It is always weird for me when I take the pax to a strip club, with their pockets full of cash, and they never tip you. ..


----------



## Danz Haagen

mrhits said:


> Ride in the castro after 2am:
> Drunk pax: Are you gay?
> Me: Uhh...no.
> Drunk pax: Not even a little curious?
> Me: Naw, not event a little curious.
> 
> A different ride in the castro with a XL full of guys.
> Pax(s): Are you gay?
> me: No
> Pax(S): (flip out cry) How do you live in San Francisco and not be gay?
> me: Um.. I like **** and puxxy.
> Pax(S): Ok... this is what we are going to do, come upstairs with us. We will play a beyonce CD from start to finish. By the time we get to the end of the CD you will be gay.
> 
> ---------------------
> So apparently there is a conversion ceremony? Or something?


LOL yeah:
PAX: Are you gay?
Me: In the country I was born, if you ask this question you can get stabbed...
PAX: (silence)


----------



## RockinEZ

Duststarr said:


> 1. A couple weeks after I started driving I picked up a couple. The woman was smashed. I watched them go up to the uber car ahead of me. While the guy is at the window checking if it's his car the woman opens the door and falls into the back seat.
> 
> Guy upfront tells them they are not his ride so the guy spends like 5 minutes dragging the woman back out of that car and come to me. This time he keep ahold of her while confirming I am his ride. At which point he opens the back door, let's her fall into the backseat and gets in the front seat.
> 
> All is peaceful for a moment while we confirm the drop off and get underway. After about a block, she starts kick my door, the front seat and throwing a full blow 2 year olds temper tantrum. This whole time she is screaming and crying. Yelling that she does not want to be in a uber, she wants to be home. He tells her that they are going home at which time she starts trying to kick him in the head. She even kicks my gear shift into nutral 3 times before he is able to get a grip on her leg and keep her relatively still.
> 
> 10 minutes later we get to their drop off and she has passed out cold. Problem is that while she is not a fat chick she is tall and bigger than the guy. Took him 15 minutes to drag her out of the car and far enough away from the car that I could pull away. I did offer to help carry her, but he kept refusing.
> 
> Then to top it off, I get a call the next day. She had kicked her purse up under the seat so neither of us saw it while getting her out. He did at least tip me $30 for returning it.
> 
> #2. Second weirdest ride was a dude and two milfs in their upper 40's at one of our higher end bars in Dallas. One woman is at the obnoxious drunk stage. She spends the 30 minute ride physically wrestling the girl in the back seat and trying to put the guy up front in a choke hold.
> 
> Problem was when she figured out how to pull the seat back so she could get a good grip on him. He starts flailing and kicks the car into neutral while doing 75 on the highway.
> 
> This kind of behavior continues most of the trip, though I held onto the gear shift the rest of the ride. Finally get to the destination and do a quick scan of the back seat only to see a lovely large wet spot were the nut was sitting. She had PEED in the seat. Nasty!!!!!


Did you take photos and contact support?
I received $200 damage payment for the same thing.


----------



## Duststarr

RockinEZ said:


> Did you take photos and contact support?
> I received $200 damage payment for the same thing.


Oh Ya. I certainly did.


----------



## D Town

Danz Haagen said:


> It is always weird for me when I take the pax to a strip club, with their pockets full of cash, and they never tip you. ..


Unless you have and are willing to do for them what the girls at the club their headed to have and are willing to do for them you have no chance of getting into that wallet.


----------



## Duststarr

Danz Haagen said:


> It is always weird for me when I take the pax to a strip club, with their pockets full of cash, and they never tip you. ..


I love the strip clubs here in Dallas. Many of them pay $5 to $20 cash per passanger you drop off. You just have to ask the valet. And remember to tip them too.


----------



## D Town

Duststarr said:


> I love the strip clubs here in Dallas. Many of them pay $5 to $20 cash per passanger you drop off. You just have to ask the valet. And remember to tip them too.


This is true. The club I worked did have deals with cab drivers who brought them customers. Its a great arraignment.


----------



## LadyDi

Duststarr said:


> I love the strip clubs here in Dallas. Many of them pay $5 to $20 cash per passanger you drop off. You just have to ask the valet. And remember to tip them too.


Tip the valet? Who tips you?? Interesting...


----------



## nighthawk398

LadyDi said:


> Tip the valet? Who tips you?? Interesting...


the club is tipping you


----------



## D Town

nighthawk398 said:


> the club is tipping you


Yup. Either the manager or the door girls. Drop the pax off in front of the clubs doors.


----------



## select_this

Not weird, but interesting. I was about to call it a night but I decided I would take one more ride, had just dropped someone off in Studio City and 2 minutes later I get a ping. Arrived at hotel at 3am and comes this smoking hot woman dressed very sexy and looked like she could be a stripper or ? 

She gets in greeted her and I could tell she wasnt a talker. Checked the address, shes going all the way to Oxnard which is about an hour away with no traffic. During the ride shes getting dolled up in the back seat not saying a whole lot so Im not either. Get to Oxnard to another hotel and huge signs everywhere with "Welcome Dallas Cowboys" So I watch the girl as she greets some dude well dressed and obvious had money, the greeting was not of hey how you been, but hey good to meet you. Not saying she was a hooker, but she was definately high dollar one.


----------



## D Town

select_this said:


> Get to Oxnard to another hotel and huge signs everywhere with "Welcome Dallas Cowboys" So I watch the girl as she greets some dude well dressed and obvious had money, the greeting was not of hey how you been, but hey good to meet you. Not saying she was a hooker, but she was definately high dollar one.


More likely it was any number of executives or cheerleaders like Jennifer Surgalski, Blair Lynch, Paige Cavalieri, or Staci Good McNicholas - look up the names - or even someone's wife...


----------



## select_this

read my post again, the greeting was an obvious good to meet you, they did not know each other from before. And it was 3am driving from one hotel to another


----------



## D Town

select_this said:


> read my post again, the greeting was an obvious good to meet you, they did not know each other from before. And it was 3am driving from one hotel to another


Don't let me stand in the way of your fantasy.


----------



## select_this

ok, but why are you so against it? lol


----------



## Pugs

D Town said:


> More likely it was any number of executives or cheerleaders like Jennifer Surgalski, Blair Lynch, Paige Cavalieri, or Staci Good McNicholas - look up the names - or even someone's wife...


Lol why is that more likely ? I'd say it's more likely a hooker. It's common knowledge athletes set these kinds of things up all the time


----------



## select_this

3am, hotel to another hotel an hour away, dressed the way she was and greeted the way they did doesnt point to executive, cheerleader or wife for some reason lol


----------



## john djjjoe

Danz Haagen said:


> It is always weird for me when I take the pax to a strip club, with their pockets full of cash, and they never tip you. ..


You're not supposed to be tipped. Stop it.


----------



## 138girl

Duststarr said:


> This kind of behavior continues most of the trip, though I held onto the gear shift the rest of the ride. Finally get to the destination and do a quick scan of the back seat only to see a lovely large wet spot were the nut was sitting. She had PEED in the seat. Nasty!!!!!


Ok that's got to be worth a $200 cleaning fee. Right? Please tell me you got the cleaning fee


----------



## D Town

138girl said:


> Ok that's got to be worth a $200 cleaning fee. Right? Please tell me you got the cleaning fee


He would have mentioned it if he had...


----------



## LadyDi

nighthawk398 said:


> the club is tipping you


Wow, nice I guess. Thank you


----------



## Curmudg

Got pinged to a downtown hotel - there's a dude in a front in a PERFECT Frankenstein getup ( a few weeks before Halloween), so I pull up 20 yards ahead of him - start texting the pax, "In white Minivan, 20 yards in front of the Frankenstein" - at the same time, he's texting me, "I'm in a Frankenstein suit". (He was headed to a young Frankenstein choral performance for charity.. Nice guy..)


----------



## D Town

Curmudg said:


> Got pinged to a downtown hotel - there's a dude in a front in a PERFECT Frankenstein getup ( a few weeks before Halloween), so I pull up 20 yards ahead of him - start texting the pax, "In white Minivan, 20 yards in front of the Frankenstein" - at the same time, he's texting me, "I'm in a Frankenstein suit". (He was headed to a young Frankenstein choral performance for charity.. Nice guy..)


Please tell me you have dash camera video of this.


----------



## Curmudg

D Town said:


> Please tell me you have dash camera video of this.


Sorry, no dash cam - yet - taking a month or two off to recover from hip surgery - gonna buy one as soon as I'm back... but Frankenstein, will just have to live in my memory...


----------



## valdez

Until tonight my weirdest pax story was the one about the lady in labor going to the hospital. Not really weird, but, hey, that was all I had...until tonight.
It's about midnight in a suburb of Atlanta and I get a ping from a nearby hotel. His name was Ryan. He was drunk. Tall, well dressed white guy who I'll bet has a job somewhere being responsible for important stuff. He gets in my car, front seat. I start the trip. His destination is an address in CHICAGO, ILLINOIS.
I say, "Chicago?"
He says, "yeah."
I say, "I ain't going to Chicago."
He says, "what are you talking about? Lets go. _ Drive."
_"I ain't going to Chicago."
"It's just up the street."
"No it ain't. It's in another state. About five states up."
"What are you talking about? Where are we?"
"Georgia."
"No we're not. Are you high?"
"We're in Georgia," I tell him again. He pulls out his cell phone and, I assume, checks his GPS, or whatever, then he opens his door and leaves. Before cancelling the trip I thought about giving him the pleasure of paying for my trip home (about 20 miles), but I ended the trip, gave him one star, and called it a night.

Special thanks to Ryan...where ever you may be...or_ think _you may be.​









_would have been a nice fare

_​


----------



## Duststarr

138girl said:


> Ok that's got to be worth a $200 cleaning fee. Right? Please tell me you got the cleaning fee


Yes. I certainly did get the cleaning fee.


----------



## devilmountain

I picked up two people this morning, back seat passenger was normal and the front seat was not. He started flipping out on me because I followed the GPS (since I didn't know exactly how to get to the destination). I nearly booted them out but I thought it would cause more issues since he was unstable. It was only a short trip down the street probably 3-4 minute drive. He proceeds to get on the phone and calls the "CIA" uses an agent code word and starts talking gibberish. Things about ISIS, Secretary Rice, President Carter, and much much more. Fortunately the ride was only 4-5 blocks down the road. The ride seemed like it lasted an eternity but it only lasted 5 minutes. I contact support and reported the issue. Don't know if they will do anything.


----------



## D Town

devilmountain said:


> I picked up two people this morning, back seat passenger was normal and the front seat was not. He started flipping out on me because I followed the GPS (since I didn't know exactly how to get to the destination). I nearly booted them out but I thought it would cause more issues since he was unstable. It was only a short trip down the street probably 3-4 minute drive. He proceeds to get on the phone and calls the "CIA" uses an agent code word and starts talking gibberish. Things about ISIS, Secretary Rice, President Carter, and much much more. Fortunately the ride was only 4-5 blocks down the road. The ride seemed like it lasted an eternity but it only lasted 5 minutes. I contact support and reported the issue. Don't know if they will do anything.


No they won't. Sorry you had to deal with that craziness. Sounds like some of the old people I deal with from time to time now except theirs is dementia and his sounds like either drugs or some other mental illness. Was he the account holder? If so what was his rating? You 1 stared them, right?


----------



## devilmountain

D Town said:


> No they won't. Sorry you had to deal with that craziness. Sounds like some of the old people I deal with from time to time now except theirs is dementia and his sounds like either drugs or some other mental illness. Was he the account holder? If so what was his rating? You 1 stared them, right?


The account holder had a rating of 4.8 and the account holder was in the car. The second passenger was a guest of the account holder and was the one giving the problems. I heard back from a CSR and they said I will not be paired up with this person again. I did 1* the account holder only because of the actions of the passenger.


----------



## RamzFanz

Curmudg said:


> Got pinged to a downtown hotel - there's a dude in a front in a PERFECT Frankenstein getup ( a few weeks before Halloween), so I pull up 20 yards ahead of him - start texting the pax, "In white Minivan, 20 yards in front of the Frankenstein" - at the same time, he's texting me, "I'm in a Frankenstein suit". (He was headed to a young Frankenstein choral performance for charity.. Nice guy..)


I once got pinged and out from a bar walks a his and her Uncle Sam. It's not halloween or anything. They argued about her behavior with other men at the bar the entire 15 minute ride. Who the hell flirts with Uncle Sam?


----------



## D Town

RamzFanz said:


> Who the hell flirts with Uncle Sam?


There isn't anything you could possibly think of that isn't SOMEONES fetish...


----------



## AFLORIDA

I picked up an old rough looking biker guy with a parrot on his shoulder and his lady friend doused in perfume wearing a too short dress and fur shawl on Thanksgiving going to a party. I asked him is that bird going to poop in my car because I will give you a towel. He said no he poops every 2 hours and he just went. (I'm thinking ummm yeah right its a freaking bird they poop all the time) Thankfully the bird did not poop in my car and I got a nice tip!


----------



## Cruisinelli

uberXGuy727 said:


> So for me the weirdest thing that happened was, I pulled up to the location and a guy in a cape roller bladed up to my car and hopped in. I turned around once he was into greet him and realized, the cape, roller blades, and speedos was all that he had on, he wanted to go to the gas station 2 minutes from his house and back home. Whats your weirdest story?


Almost spit my drink out! This is great! Extremely comical, but I'm sure it was also a pain in the *** at the same time.


----------



## chels

PAX: Single white female late 20's or 30's...obvious bad botox injectections...drunk
She took a really long time coming out. I called twice and almost cancelled. She got into the backseat of my car... 
"OMG Hi hunny-bunny...it's so warm. I love you!"
ME: *awkward chuckle* Thanks...how are you doing? Where are we headed?
PAX: *random pub*
(Taylor Swift- Wildest Dreams plays on radio)
"OMG Thank you so much for playing this music!"
ME: Yeah I love this song too...
PAX: "And that's no disrespect to other artists...I like Nicki Minaj too"
ME: Yeah she's cool too.
Thinking to myself...is pax feeling some type a way because I'm a Black woman listening to Taylor Swift? 
PAX: "Do you have siblings?"
ME: Yeah lots of half siblings and one full
Thinking to myself...that's so ****ing random dude we don't even have to talk
PAX: "And that's ok, there's nothing wrong with that. There is nothing wrong with having a lot...it's ok"
ME: (OK???) What about you?
PAX: "I have 3 brothers...older...and they just have to learn to give me space"
ME: Well here we are (mentally thanking the universe this was only a 6 min ride) I hope you enjoy the rest of your night =)
PAX: "OMG hunny-bunny it's so warm I don't want to get out (opens door) You were amazing! (stops) And I just want you to know that your society is embraced!"
ME: *awkward chuckle* Thank you...

ONE STAR


----------



## scrurbscrud

I hesitate to tell too many stories, but have a lot of them.

One of the more off the wall ones was a pickup to hot spot, bout a 20 min. fare. One guy, 2 women. All in their mid to late 20's maybe.

So, the guy is sitting between them, and he and one of the women are casual chatting. The other woman quiet for a couple min. Then she starts in. She was married to the guy, and the other woman was her "supposed" best friend, who happened to be in on the couples sex life as in frequent threesomes. And the wife was extremely upset because the hubby and the bff had apparently done the deal without her a few times and she just found out about it, apparently that night. He'd been sacking the bff at their apartment when the wife wasn't home. So, as we were driving she was just fuming and crying and carrying on about it, saying how they wanted to start a family and have children, but now since hubby was privately shagging the bff, in their own bed no less, (where they probably did it together times prior,) the wife didn't know what to do and felt threatened and yada yada yada. And back and forth the women were going, the bff trying to assuage her. The woman just breaking down and sobbing uncontrollably. The guy pretty well kept his mouth shut. He apologized to me after he got out for the incident. I said, sure, no problem.

I thought man, what a bunch of screwed up people. And to talk about this stuff in front of a complete stranger no less. It kinda made me sick just having to listen to it.

I get stuff like this just about every week. Just smh and wonder. Part entertainment. Part pity. Part wonder how people's lives can go off the rails like that.


----------



## scrurbscrud

chels said:


> And I just want you to know that your society is embraced!"


What an ahole pax.


----------



## scrurbscrud

I just LOVE conspiracy theories. Sometimes I'll run into somebody else's who are really into them and if I happen to "accidently" trigger their particular hot buttons, I can really fire them up. Not that I believe 3/4ths of what all that brings, but it's just good clean speculative FUN with the like minded.

Usually results in a HUGE tip. Which makes it even funner. And of course if they are anti or pro whatever, SO AM I! Imagine that?


----------



## day tripper yeah...

AtlCruizin said:


> Any trip where the rider sits in the front seat, yet doesn't seek conversation is weird


had one of those today......weird,,,


----------



## Laureis41

Drunk boy: If I give you $10 can I show you my D$&@
Me: No
Drunk boy: how about if I gave you $ 20?
Me : This is Uber, not hookers on wheels
Drunk boy: what would you do if I took care of myself right here
Me: Charge you $200 to clean it up, and leave you in the middle of the road
Drunk boy: will you take me to Mcdonalds?
As the drunk boy got out of my car
Drunk boy: how about a $1000?
Me: I will pepper spray you.


----------



## LadyDi

Laureis41 said:


> Me: I will pepper spray you.


YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!


----------



## UPModerator

Now now fellas. This isn't a locker room, it's a public forum. Let's not be so crude please. Posts deleted. Hoping to issue no formal warnings in holiday spirit.


----------



## D Town

UPModerator said:


> Now now fellas. This isn't a locker room, it's a public forum. Let's not be so crude please. Posts deleted. Hoping to issue no formal warnings in holiday spirit.


It's going to take more than holiday spirit to get that image out of my head...


----------



## bluewarrior7

my 2nd to last trip tonight around 6:30 i picked up a spanish dude at summit and congress (west palm beach florida) i hit pickup and start trip. says take him sanford florida just north of orlando. i said oh your going pretty far. he says "oh no you talk to my wife" so he calls her. its already sounding sketchy but gets better lol

so she asks me if i can drop him off at an exit on I95 like a gas station or walmart. so i say sure how about palm beach gardens at the doubletree hotel. she say ok she coming from vero beach florida.

so heres the lowdown on the pax. so he's from brazil and married his wife 9 months ago. apparently he was with a friend who go into an accident earlier today. i guess he ran because he was afraid and only has a passport and didnt want to get in trouble. in his broken accent he's like you can go further. he calls his wife again. so im like how about jupiter at the shell. shes like ok. i get there and pull into the mcdonalds instead. he calls and i almost get her to tell me to drive to either Stuart florida or fort pierce florida. but she decided against it and i left. damn that would have been atleast all together a 40-50mile trip


----------



## Charlie_Hustle206

picked up guy at hospital and he tells me he was shot 5 times in another state and had to visit the ER due to surgery complications. tells me the whole story about the shooting. wrong place wrong time. real nice guy, older 45, living with mom so he can recover.


----------



## LadyDi

This past weekend a white male who was a little on the drunk side gets in the front seat and his pals in the back. We go about 6 blocks and the back set people exit. Front seat guys goes into a "I bet you've seen a lot of racism in your lifetime right? I know, the eyes don't lie". And this is repeated with some other lines about racism. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOW.

I'm honey cocoa brown and that made me feel just weirded out.


----------



## Dhus

Mine would definitely be the 200 + yr old Vampire guy i picked up. I was in a cab line at greyhound in jax fla and we were all standing by the first cab talking when this man bum's a cigarette, he asked if any of us had ever seen a vampire before ect. he shows his teeth, his fangs were just as yellow as the rest of his teeth, up till then i had no idea you could get work like that done on your teeth btw, so we are all talking with him and his story was he was born in the 1700's and fought in virtually every war the U.S. has been in, he had on a really old jacket with ton's of medals on them, some really old looking and some modern, Idk if this man was crazy or not but he completely believed his own BS, as he is talking to us the greyhound security walks over and ask's for his bus ticket. he did not have one so the guard search's him. at which point one of my buddy's said * why don't he just turn into a Bat ? .. and fly away.
Any whoo i end up taking this Vampire man home but decide to work my way there, he said one of the things that was not BS about vampire's is their power of persuasion, i told him nah i dont care to know whatever. I pick up a fare and he talk's with the pax's and never asked for anything but they handed him a wad of money. same thing with the next fare. I am thinking ok that is weird time to drop off batman. i get him way back in the woods where his house is which of course looked like it was abandoned so now i am feeling really stupid and just a little spooked lol , he hands me some money for the trip and thanks me. I leave but the whole time i am looking in my mirrors hoping like hell this guy wasnt running like 50 miles an hour behind my veh.


----------



## UberBeemer

Last Saturday, picked up mom and three older kids and mom is in midle back seat, working at her ring finger, crying. She pulls off a ring and flings it forward. She said, "that's for you, i don't want it anymore." Convo turns to her kids telling her "Ted" is a racist pig and they hate him and how could she think of getting engaged to him... 
Unfortunately, son in front seat caught the ring. All i could think was, WTF, bratty older kids should be happy mom found someone she digs and is willing to marry.


----------



## RHutch187

One weekend around 2:00am I picket up this massively tall guy from a bar who was clearly drunk off his @$$. As I was driving him home he was referring to himself as "Poobear", saying things like Poobear likes weed and Poobear likes to hang out with the girls and give them kisses/treats. He kept asking if I wanted to hang out at his house. When I finally got him home he got out and said "I love you" to me.


----------



## D Town

RHutch187 said:


> One weekend around 2:00am I picket up this massively tall guy from a bar who was clearly drunk off his @$$. As I was driving him home he was referring to himself as "Poobear", saying things like Poobear likes weed and Poobear likes to hang out with the girls and give them kisses/treats. He kept asking if I wanted to hang out at his house. When I finally got him home he got out and said "I love you" to me.


...Not creepy at all...

Sounds like you narrowly avoided rape.


----------



## RHutch187

L


Dhus said:


> Mine would definitely be the 200 + yr old Vampire guy i picked up. I was in a cab line at greyhound in jax fla and we were all standing by the first cab talking when this man bum's a cigarette, he asked if any of us had ever seen a vampire before ect. he shows his teeth, his fangs were just as yellow as the rest of his teeth, up till then i had no idea you could get work like that done on your teeth btw, so we are all talking with him and his story was he was born in the 1700's and fought in virtually every war the U.S. has been in, he had on a really old jacket with ton's of medals on them, some really old looking and some modern, Idk if this man was crazy or not but he completely believed his own BS, as he is talking to us the greyhound security walks over and ask's for his bus ticket. he did not have one so the guard search's him. at which point one of my buddy's said * why don't he just turn into a Bat ? .. and fly away.
> Any whoo i end up taking this Vampire man home but decide to work my way there, he said one of the things that was not BS about vampire's is their power of persuasion, i told him nah i dont care to know whatever. I pick up a fare and he talk's with the pax's and never asked for anything but they handed him a wad of money. same thing with the next fare. I am thinking ok that is weird time to drop off batman. i get him way back in the woods where his house is which of course looked like it was abandoned so now i am feeling really stupid and just a little spooked lol , he hands me some money for the trip and thanks me. I leave but the whole time i am looking in my mirrors hoping like hell this guy wasnt running like 50 miles an hour behind my veh.


lol, if he was you wouldn't be able to see him coming in the mirro. Vampires don't cast reflections after all


----------



## CorollaS

D Town said:


> ...Not creepy at all...
> 
> Sounds like you narrowly avoided rape.


Or an even WORSE fate! After all, the guy was calling himself "Poo Bear"...


----------



## Dhus

RHutch187 said:


> lol, if he was you wouldn't be able to see him coming in the mirro. Vampires don't cast reflections after all


 That was not the last i seen of that guy and it got weirder, i just chose to end it there.


----------



## D Town

Dhus said:


> That was not the last i seen of that guy and it got weirder, i just chose to end it there.


You find him hanging upside down in your closet the next day?


----------



## tohunt4me

Laureis41 said:


> Drunk boy: If I give you $10 can I show you my D$&@
> Me: No
> Drunk boy: how about if I gave you $ 20?
> Me : This is Uber, not hookers on wheels
> Drunk boy: what would you do if I took care of myself right here
> Me: Charge you $200 to clean it up, and leave you in the middle of the road
> Drunk boy: will you take me to Mcdonalds?
> As the drunk boy got out of my car
> Drunk boy: how about a $1000?
> Me: I will pepper spray you.


For $1,000.00 I would have watched,maybe brought him to MC Donald's too.


----------



## Dhus

D Town said:


> You find him hanging upside down in your closet the next day?


I have to go pick someone up. i will post the 2nd half when i get back, for now i will leave you with this, I can not say with certainty he was not what he said he was.


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## D Town

tohunt4me said:


> For $1,000.00 I would have watched,maybe brought him to MC Donald's too.


Some things I just won't do for any amount of money...long after the cash is gone that image of locking eyes with some random weirdo while he does that in my car would haunt me until I erased the image with a bullet. No thanks.


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## tohunt4me

RHutch187 said:


> L
> 
> lol, if he was you wouldn't be able to see him coming in the mirro. Vampires don't cast reflections after all


More than one type of vampire.
One type feeds off of human energy,crowds etc.( Psychic)

Ever been around someone who leaves you feeling drained of energy ?

You can meet all 3 types in New Orleans.
Some women like to bight your neck and drink blood during sex . . .
(Sanguinarian)

Some just drain your wallet Financial Vampire.

A relative of mine was a Dr. In the study of blood,in Transylvania.

There is a blood disorder with my family name.

The ones that eat your soul are the most dangerous.
Uber management is composed mainly of these.


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## Dhus

tohunt4me said:


> For $1,000.00 I would have watched,maybe brought him to MC Donald's too.


Lmbo !


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## tohunt4me

elelegido said:


> An Uber pax once gave me some cash just before he got out of the car at the end of the trip. Folded up in his hand; he passed it right over the center armrest and gave it to me.
> 
> Other than that, I had a pax tell me he was a "cleaning man" for the NSA, recently returned from a trip down to Mexico to take out some garbage apparently. Then he said he was looking for a "mayordomo" (butler?) and asked if I wanted a job.


Did you ask what happened to the LAST Butler ?


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## tohunt4me

MyLeft said:


> Doubt an "NSA" cleaning man would tell someone what he does.


Unless it was a driver,who he was sure he would never see again . . .


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## tohunt4me

Dhus said:


> Mine would definitely be the 200 + yr old Vampire guy i picked up. I was in a cab line at greyhound in jax fla and we were all standing by the first cab talking when this man bum's a cigarette, he asked if any of us had ever seen a vampire before ect. he shows his teeth, his fangs were just as yellow as the rest of his teeth, up till then i had no idea you could get work like that done on your teeth btw, so we are all talking with him and his story was he was born in the 1700's and fought in virtually every war the U.S. has been in, he had on a really old jacket with ton's of medals on them, some really old looking and some modern, Idk if this man was crazy or not but he completely believed his own BS, as he is talking to us the greyhound security walks over and ask's for his bus ticket. he did not have one so the guard search's him. at which point one of my buddy's said * why don't he just turn into a Bat ? .. and fly away.
> Any whoo i end up taking this Vampire man home but decide to work my way there, he said one of the things that was not BS about vampire's is their power of persuasion, i told him nah i dont care to know whatever. I pick up a fare and he talk's with the pax's and never asked for anything but they handed him a wad of money. same thing with the next fare. I am thinking ok that is weird time to drop off batman. i get him way back in the woods where his house is which of course looked like it was abandoned so now i am feeling really stupid and just a little spooked lol , he hands me some money for the trip and thanks me. I leave but the whole time i am looking in my mirrors hoping like hell this guy wasnt running like 50 miles an hour behind my veh.


Just in case you thought I was joking . . . I have seen a dating add in P.O.F. for a local sanginous female wishing for " donors" . . .
They even have an association.
Come on down,I will take you to a club they party at,one hell of a Halloween party . . .
You can see the voodoo drum circle at Congo square . . . .


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## Dhus

Ok so the next day after dropping off vampire guy we are all at greyhound around noon waiting for the bus to roll in and Vampire guy walks around the corner and head's over to us. I said A~HA ! Its noon and your outside, you should be a burning cinder right about now, we all laughed so hard it hurt, couldnt breath, it was hysterical. He just rolled his eyes and said "that is hollywood and their lies, not being able to be in the light is metaphoric, Vampires have always had to hide and conceal the fact they are vampires because we get hunted and killed if anyone find's out the truth until now that is, we are finally accepted . About a dozen or so of us are getting a good laugh of this guy and we were all like wolves throwing questions at him ect. trying to throw him off his act and pull his mask off, but he had his character down to a science, he never had to pause and think to keep his story straight, he must have had a lot of practice at this is all i can think. One cab driver asked if he was down at greyhound looking for his next meal. he said no, the government supplies all vampires these days with synthetic blood so no need to feed off humans or livestock anymore. and someone asked if he was immortal, he said no we live a lot longer than humans, about 1k yrs.
Everyone liked him, he seemed harmless, just a guy with a good BS story, very likeable otherwise. He took turns riding shotgun with the other drivers and they shared stories about how good he was with the customers and they would just give him things, one cabbie said this chick just gave him an ounce of weed for no reason, I laughed and said well everybody must get stoned including vampires i guess.

A few days had gone by our celebrity vampire asked if he could ride shotgun with me, i said yeah sure come on, we didnt go far and my phone ring's, its the mother of this hottie i been trying to date for a while. She said her and her daughter had been stranded could i swing by and take them home. I tell chompers about her and that her mom's likes me and keeps blocking me and her daughter. We get them home and go inside, to make a long story short he told her to sleep with me, and she grab's me by the hand and walks me back to bedroom and proceeds to get undressed and ask's why i am not doing the same. At this point i am real puzzled because after several years i know this girl and this was just weird, i am wondering wtf is going on here and then we hear her mom scream, i run out into the living room and theres the mom on the coffee table acting like she had seen a mouse. she points and chompers and says *he has no heart beat* EEEEEEK ! by this time my would be booty call comes out and her mom says stick your head to his chest and listen, he has no heart beat ! she does and join's her mom screaming he has no heart beat! At this point i am in disbelief and to be honest a little disgusted by all this. No check him you will see, i said No ! i am not placing my head on another mans chest, just No, But they insisted so i did the next best thing and checked his wrist for a pulse, then his neck, Now i am not a trained paramedic but i couldnt find a pulse on this guy at all. I said ok it is time to go, i have to get back to work. All i wanted to do was get out of there and drop off Chompers, i felt he had gone to far, i dont know why these women were acting like this, i knew both of them and they never acted like this before and That was it i was pissed with vampire now messing with the girl i liked and all. As we drive back to greyhound neither of us spoke, I am pretty sure he felt the rejection coming from me.

He never rode in my veh. again, never asked to either or spoke to me. i had seen him for a few days after that hanging around and riding with other drivers but the last i saw of him was leaving with an asian driver friend of mine which was weird because he hated the vampire guy. A few days later i commented on how Vampire had not been around and my asian friend said he had given him money, What ? not this guy.. he was a hard ass and never gave money to anyone, he just kinda sad about it so i figure it was a little chunk of money, he normally carried about 1k on him at all times. That was weirder almost than vampire himself. i never saw chompers again.


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## wk1102

day tripper yeah... said:


> had one of those today......weird,,,


I had one today, 23 minutes... ugh


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## Frank Martin

Ironically, I was off the clock when this happened, but it was during a weekend on the Las Vegas Strip and I'm parked by a 7-11. I was giving myself a break from driving before doing whatever I had planned that night. Some random white, young guy walks by my car, around the front, and opens the door to hop into the passenger seat.

I'm kicking myself mentally because it's the one time I didn't have my doors locked. And I'm scared shitless. I thought I was getting carjacked. He said he needed a ride and that he will give me cash after I take him to his destination. He looked sketchy so that was another red flag. I think he was going somewhere to do a drug deal. I told him I couldn't do it and that he shouldn't be getting into random people's cars like that. He respected my decision, got out, and ran past the 7-11 as fast he could.

Either I was mostly likely going to be involved in a crime because of him or there was a higher power looking over me because he didn't pull a weapon. I locked my car and hyperventilated there for awhile after my frightening encounter. Lesson learned.


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## Another Uber Driver

If we _must_ revive an old topic............................

Here is one of many:

Back in the day, it was profitable for cab drivers to do drug runs. This was before Congress passed a series of so-called "Omnibus Crime Bills" that allowed the police to snatch your cab, even if you were the "dumb cab driver" who only was "taking the customer to his requested destination". Further, it was close to the beginning of the SIDA scare.

This rather nice looking young lady hailed my cab in front of a K Street office building. She gets into the cab and announces a destination in the Logan Circle-Shaw neighbourhood that at the time, was well known for open air markets where substances that were not legal were bought and sold. She further informed me that I was to wait for her then return her to a rather nice apartment building in the DuPont Circle neighbourhood. As was usual for one of these types or trips, she threw some money on the front seat, the amount of which was enough to cover the fare, the usual waiting time plus a nice tip. I took her to the requested corner. She exited the vehicle and went somewhere. She returned after less than ten minutes. I confirmed, once more, the final destination, then proceeded. 

About halfway there, said young lady informed me that she was going to be feeling good in a few minutes. I acknowledged it. She further informed me that she liked to engage in certain activities after she had made herself "feel good". I acknowledged that. She repeated this series of remarks, using different phrases from the original remarks and more graphic descriptions. I did take note that she had the main line of the Baltimore and Ohio up one of her arms and the main line of the Pennsylvania Railroad up the other. 

Finally, she informed me that I could not possibly be gay, but, it was obvious to her that she had to hit me over the head with a "Clue-by-Four".

For the previously referenced reason, as well as others, I politely informed her that I was "happily married" (I did not even have a girlfriend at the time) to an EXTREMELY jealous woman and that I feared more for the safety of the young lady than for my own if "wife" had "learned" that I had "strayed". At this point, we had arrived at her front door. She asked me if I were sure, and informed me that she had a reserved parking spot in the garage that came with the apartment, which she did not use, as she had no car. I demurred, citing once more my "EXTREMELY jealous wife".. I did add that said "EXTREMELY jealous wife" was also borderline "insatiable", thus my performance might not be up to the young lady's expectations, as I had not had sufficient time to recover from the previous evening with my "EXTREMELY jealous wife". At that, she giggled and got out of the cab. I bid her a nice day, finished my paperwork on the job and went on to my next job.


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## CheepShot

I have near an endless supply of funny stories and if the ride is long enough ask the rider's if they want to swap a couple. Usually I will start with one to give the rider a chance to think of one. It's gotta be one of the best ways to get a tip. 

I was given an order to pickup at a police station in a small town known for being heavy handed at 2am. The guy is a Caucasian male in his 30s and disheveled. He jumps in the back and says get me out of here and I tell him I need to know where we are going and after a bit of arguing he finally says take me to Thorton Quarry! That's over an hour away. I say yeh, right.. show me the money. He shows a credit card and says there's 30k on it. I say yeh right, show me the money. Eventually I agree to take him to the closest atm and he takes out some money. The entire trip was turn it up, change the song, wait wait go back I want to hear that. He's popping pills like candy and talking like he's on speed. I ask him what they are, they must be legal since I saw him walk out of the police station. He says IDK but if you're ever hyper sensitive these things are great!. We are on the expressway now doing about 70 and he opens a window, the car is thumping from the air pressure. He sticks his head out and starts to whinny like a pig (Geico commercial) and saying he's king of the world and such. I asked what he does for a living and he said he is a Geo-physicist and I said yeh right. As we get closer to the quarry I say are you sure you want to go to the quarry, it's 3am and he mumbles seemingly arguing with himself but finally says take me to the closest hotel. I said motel? He says no, hotel. I found a Hilton not to far away. As he gets out he gives me the $150 fare and then a $150 tip and says I'm the best driver of all time. He gave me a business card and actually was a Geo-physicist. 

I told that story many times and about 6 months later a customer told me there was a small earthquake and an explosion at the quarry at that time. It's cool when you hear more about the story from other people.


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## Mole

I picked up Neil Patrick Harris.


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## Frank Martin

Mole said:


> I picked up Neil Patrick Harris.


Did he steal your car?


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## Mole

Frank Martin said:


> Did he steal your car?


How did you know?


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## Guido-TheKillerPimp

BDAWG said:


> her hotel where her pimp


"Pimp" is so impersonal. I, as do many of my colleagues, like to view ourselves as "Managers." Thank you!


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## Clarity

I asked this young man if he had a mask. He said no so I gave him one. He’s like, “sure I’ll put it on for you. I can take my shirt and pants off for you too.” I laughed it off.

A few minutes later he sings to the song on my radio. He says he can sing for me and also take his clothes off for me.

Good riddance. Ok that is one of many of my strange encounters. Maybe not my strangest.


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## Oscar Levant

Fuzzyelvis said:


> "Cunning linguistics" lol.
> 
> I love auto correct sometimes.


delete


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## Bull123

tohunt4me said:


> For $1,000.00 I would have watched,maybe brought him to MC Donald's too.


Cash first - do what you gotta do - have a nice night


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## New guy65

MyLeft said:


> Doubt an "NSA" cleaning man would tell someone what he does.


He could. But then he’d he have to kill you


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## New guy65

New guy65 said:


> He could. But then he’d he have to kill you


Don’t believe I just replied to 6+ yr old thread. How do people pull these things from the grave


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## Guido-TheKillerPimp

uberXGuy727 said:


> the cape, roller blades, and speedos was all that he had


@Seamus strikes again!


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## UL Lurker

D Town said:


> A better cover would be ANYTHING ELSE. A plumber, an accountant, a banker. More than likely anyone who tells you that is a wanna be who is full of crap. I've known too many guys like that...


Hahahahahahaha! Pick someone NOBODY will seen advice from. Many people ask questions of plumbers, accountants, random medical people, lawyers, janitors, contractors, etc. Or be vague.


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## Atavar

Picked up a gorgeous too skinny brunette wearing a short short dress over tights. We leave the club and head to her house and she says she’s bored so take her to this club 40 miles away. I whine a bit and $40 appears on the center console. Off we go to the club.
As we get to the edge of town about an hour before bar close she starts screaming "STOP THE CAR! STOP THE CAR". I pull over and put the flashers on and she jumps out rips her tights down and proceeds to pee on the side of the road.
She gets back in and giggles.
We get to the club and she says it’s only a half hour to bar close and she’s not going home with any of these guys. Can I wait with the meter running then take her home? I whine a little and another $40 appears on the center console.
I spend 45 minutes catching up on email and UP.NET when she comes back out sans tights and hops back in with her dress riding up.
The whole drive back I am worrying about what is getting on my leather seat. When we get to her house she invites me in but she is way drunk and I’m not in to sloppy 2nds so I decline.
She leaves a $20 tip and I drive about a block and stop to wipe her seat with Clorox wipes and hose the seat down with Lysol spray.


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