# Uber Jokes



## yojimboguy (Mar 2, 2016)

Travis says to a scientist, "Everybody knows the world stands on the backs of Uber drivers."
Scientist, "But then what do the Uber drivers stand on?"
Travis, "Nice try, but it's Uber drivers all the way down."

Uber passenger, "Do you smoke after Ubering?"
Uber driver, "I don't know. I've never looked."

What do you call a dead Uber driver floating in a pool?
"Bob"

Knock. Knock.
Uber driver, "Who's there?"
Pax, "Uber."
Uber driver, "Uber gruppenfuhrer?"
Pax, "Ja. Update your app. Next week we take over the world. Surges for everyone!"


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## KingTravisHasNoClothes (Jun 11, 2015)

two words ?
Uber Support!
Bahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

whats extremely long and green and has an A-hole at each end ?
Kalanick and Trump in a st Patrick's day parade!

What do you call two uber corp exec's in a shoebox ?
A pair of loafers !

Thank you Thank you and remember to tip your driver


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## Marshall Mathers (Dec 29, 2016)

I don't get it


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## entrep1776 (Nov 3, 2016)

your mama so fat she won't fit in an Uber


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## freddieman (Oct 24, 2016)

Yo mamma so stupid she drives for uber...........thank u, thank u.


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## entrep1776 (Nov 3, 2016)

Why did the Uber cross the road?



To get $3.
.......... 

How many Uber Drivers does it take to screw in a light bulb? 


impossible! they can't afford a light bulb (or electricity!)


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## PepeLePiu (Feb 3, 2017)

A hint of a joke is embedded here somewhere...


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## wk1102 (Dec 25, 2015)

yojimboguy said:


> Travis says to a scientist, "Everybody knows the world stands on the backs of Uber drivers."
> Scientist, "But then what do the Uber drivers stand on?"
> Travis, "Nice try, but it's Uber drivers all the way down."
> 
> ...


Ouch...


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## entrep1776 (Nov 3, 2016)

*Making Amends With The IRS*

After hearing a sermon on Psalm 52:3-4 (lies and deceit), a man wrote the IRS, "I can't sleep knowing that I have cheated on reporting my Uber tips. Enclosed is a check for $1.50. If  I still can't sleep, I'll send the other $2."

adapted from Reader Digest joke


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## dirtylee (Sep 2, 2015)

Who was my best pax? This chick.


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## Newwber (Dec 11, 2015)

D - R - I - V - I - N - G


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## entrep1776 (Nov 3, 2016)

I hear in 2018 an Uber swimsuit calendar is coming out. Uber girls Gone wild. Mainly gonna feature women from IT department. I'm gonna put calendar up in my Uber so clients will give me 5 stars for having calendar so convenient.


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## jonhjax (Jun 24, 2016)

Driver : knock knock
Travis : who's there
Driver : ulga
Travis : ulga who?
Driver : ul go f--k yourself, Travis!!!
And the winner is?


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## BoboBig (Mar 1, 2017)

Knock knock...

Who's there?

Uber...

Uber who?

Uber Pool....

Hahhahahahahhahah


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## DocT (Jul 16, 2015)

BoboBig said:


> Knock knock...
> 
> Who's there?
> 
> ...


Now that is truly a, JOKE.


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## AdamS.UBER17 (Dec 30, 2016)

yojimboguy said:


> Travis says to a scientist, "Everybody knows the world stands on the backs of Uber drivers."
> Scientist, "But then what do the Uber drivers stand on?"
> Travis, "Nice try, but it's Uber drivers all the way down."
> 
> ...


Wanna hear a joke? ....

Uber.


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## prsvshine (Mar 2, 2017)

PepeLePiu said:


> A hint of a joke is embedded here somewhere...
> 
> View attachment 104389
> View attachment 104390


lol awesome


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## BoboBig (Mar 1, 2017)

DocT said:


> Now that is truly a, JOKE.


Thank you thank you..lol you know it took me two days to leave a post for this thread everything else I was thinking of sounded corny as hell..until I thought of this ish...yes pool is a joke man. It's like government assisted ubering they should allow EBT cards for adding funds to ride pool only...

FYI: nothing wrong with gov. Assistance or EBT..


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## Uber/Lyft Concierge (Nov 28, 2017)

entrep1776 said:


> Why did the Uber cross the road?
> 
> To get $3.
> ..........
> ...


Why did the Uber driver drive half an hour? To get $3.


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## JTTwentySeven (Jul 13, 2017)

When pax try to be funny... "I'll tip you in the app" and gets out.

I crack up every time!


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## Over/Uber (Jan 2, 2017)

Yo mamma so fat, when she slides into an Uber car, the radio skips.

Yo mamma so fat, when the Uber driver pulls up, he tells her she’s gonna need two cars.


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## mikes424 (May 22, 2016)

Want some good jokes.
Check this out.

https://uberpeople.net/threads/lighten-up-chicago-lets-tell-jokes.94632/


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## uberRog (Jul 1, 2017)

Knock knock

Who’s there?

Tip

Tip who?

Exactly.


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