# creepiest rides....



## Optimus Uber (Oct 7, 2014)

I had this one last week. Kind of stuck with me, just weirded me out.

Go pick up this girl in north Santa Monica going to lax. She puts her luggage in the back. She jumps in the front. I start driving, she keeps staring at me the entire trip. Making small talk about anything and everything possible, most not making sense.

What really started it was when I turned onto ocean and the sun was setting and she started to comment on the sunset and how its so beautiful and romantic, all the time staring at me. Just giving me the creeps.

To try to lighten the mood, I made a smart ass comment saying, take a picture and post it on face book, let your friends know your sharing a sunset with the uber driver. I laughed trying to lighten the mood, she just smiled a bit and kept staring.

The rest of the ride wasn't much more comfortable. She even told me where she works. Like if I wanted to stop by and say hello sometime. I had sat radio on the 80's. She even commented on how great the radio station was. Its 80's music , you're like 24. What the hell would you know about 80's music? Then she let me know when she was coming back.

I even told her, I have a girl friend and three kids my oldest is 19, right around your age. Still wouldn't stop staring. Just really weird and creepy. Can't everyone just sit in the back and stare at my bald spot. So much more comfortable of a ride. Or just day dream out the window. This is uber, not e-harmony.

I would like to hear other creepy stories, I know you all have them.


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## CaptainJackLA (Dec 4, 2014)

Didnt you kiss her goodbye at the airport? I would have asked what the [email protected] is wrong with you?


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## Optimus Uber (Oct 7, 2014)

CaptainJackLA said:


> Didnt you kiss her goodbye at the airport? I would have asked what the [email protected] is wrong with you?


No kiss, but she said she was flying Alaska. Brought her to Alaska, then she told me she's at terminal 4, which is American. Guess Alaska is not just at terminal 6, but can be at terminal 4 at times. Oh well. No kiss, just have a safe flight, happy holidays, goodbye.

Didnt want to say anything more than I had too.

The issue is some of these girls get in the car and they are living from paycheck to paycheck. They jump into a $60k car and they're thinking security. They figure you can afford this car, you must be well off, then they see if there is a connection. Looking for someone that maybe give them direction in life, or help them get ahead in life, or just want to latch on like a leech.

I have heard so much crap, like how horny they are, touching, rubbing my shoulders, what do you think of my ****, etc.

You know, I should be able to drink and drive so I can cope with some of this crap. I tell you this, there is nothing sexy about being hit on by a girl that's your daughters age. Nor do I need to know how many sexual positions you have done and if there are any i know of that they haven't stated. Nor do I want to grab a drink with you and I dont care if your buzzed and you pretend to pass out in the back of my seat. Coz I'm not touching you. I am going to yell at you that you're at your destination and if you don't wake up, I'm calling the cops to have you removed from my car.

I really think girls are worse than guys. My GF gets hit on allot, but guys wont cross the line. They dont touch and they are very careful in their wording of what they speak. They won't say they're horny. They'll compliment, with you're so beautiful, general convo to see if there is a chance for more. Just what I've experienced.


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## UberOne (Oct 31, 2014)

Optimus.. I just can't stop looking at your.. avatar...


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## UberDude2 (Nov 19, 2014)

Optimus Uber said:


> I had this one last week. Kind of stuck with me, just weirded me out.
> 
> Go pick up this girl in north Santa Monica going to lax. She puts her luggage in the back. She jumps in the front. I start driving, she keeps staring at me the entire trip. Making small talk about anything and everything possible, most not making sense.
> 
> ...


First of all it's U-Harmony and second I would question her taste if she wasn't an 80's music fan. She gave you all of her attention and she was eager to please. If you didn't have a girl friend i'd say she was a keeper!


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## Lidman (Nov 13, 2014)

I thought there was perhaps "wedding bells" at the end of this ride.


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## UberDude2 (Nov 19, 2014)

I have an awkward ride story from last night. So I picked up this couple from the Culver City area heading to a club in Hollywood. The female was a beautiful blonde which I found out later, was born in Sweden but raised in France so she had a very sexy French accent. Well, the whole time i'm trying to make small talk with the female, she's all over the dude kissing on him hugging him etc.. so her answers to me were short. The guy however gave me lots of attention. He asked several questions and continued to make small talk with me while this girl was draped all over him. The uncomfortable part is during the conversation the guy must have said that I was good looking at least 3 maybe 4 times. He was like Uberdude, (yes he called me uberdude, not sure how he knew) we are two good looking guys if we had money...blah blah blah. But initially he said you're a good looking guy what do you think about the color blue (or something like that) my point is he made sure to mention my looks a few times while ignoring this beautiful woman who was trying to get his attention. I was about to tell him to shut up and tend to her needs (before I do) but the ride ended too soon (you can probably tell I have no back seat sex rules). Needless to say, it was an awkward attention triangle.


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## Orlando_Driver (Jul 14, 2014)

Damn, you were fixing to get laid !


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## ElectroFuzz (Jun 10, 2014)

Nah.... how bad can it be...... this is just fun.
On the other hand when the drunk 60 year old hits on me....... very uncomfortable.


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## UL Driver SF (Aug 29, 2014)

I once had a drunk chick hike up her skirt and ask me if her cooch looked infected.

I replied....yes.

She looked so sad after that so I added....what do I know about *****. I'm gay.

I had the seat steam cleaned just in case.


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## Optimus Uber (Oct 7, 2014)

UberOne said:


> Optimus.. I just can't stop looking at your.. avatar...


I get that allot, hahaha!!! Coz its such a big avatar ;-)


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## Optimus Uber (Oct 7, 2014)

UberDude2 said:


> I have an awkward ride story from last night. So I picked up this couple from the Culver City area heading to a club in Hollywood. The female was a beautiful blonde which I found out later, was born in Sweden but raised in France so she had a very sexy French accent. Well, the whole time i'm trying to make small talk with the female, she's all over the dude kissing on him hugging him etc.. so her answers to me were short. The guy however gave me lots of attention. He asked several questions and continued to make small talk with me while this girl was draped all over him. The uncomfortable part is during the conversation the guy must have said that I was good looking at least 3 maybe 4 times. He was like Uberdude, (yes he called me uberdude, not sure how he knew) we are two good looking guys if we had money...blah blah blah. But initially he said you're a good looking guy what do you think about the color blue (or something like that) my point is he made sure to mention my looks a few times while ignoring this beautiful woman who was trying to get his attention. I was about to tell him to shut up and tend to her needs (before I do) but the ride ended too soon (you can probably tell I have no back seat sex rules). Needless to say, it was an awkward attention triangle.


Wow, that's the first menage-a-uber I have heard of, good for you!!


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## Optimus Uber (Oct 7, 2014)

Orlando_Driver said:


> Damn, you were fixing to get laid !


Yeah, it happens allot. Just not my thing, I'm happy with what I have at home. Just try to divert the conversation to something else


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## Optimus Uber (Oct 7, 2014)

Lidman said:


> I thought there was perhaps "wedding bells" at the end of this ride.


Been married once, that's enough. No more wedding bells for me. Happy with the way things are.


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## Optimus Uber (Oct 7, 2014)

She was too young. I'm 43, she was like 24.



UberDude2 said:


> First of all it's U-Harmony and second I would question her taste if she wasn't an 80's music fan. She gave you all of her attention and she was eager to please. If you didn't have a girl friend i'd say she was a keeper!


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## Optimus Uber (Oct 7, 2014)

ElectroFuzz said:


> Nah.... how bad can it be...... this is just fun.
> On the other hand when the drunk 60 year old hits on me....... very uncomfortable.


How about a 50 year old? But she doesn't look 50. Its like the crying game. Haha


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## NickNolte (Dec 12, 2014)

I just started putting a picture of my girlfriend and kid near the dash and it stops 90% of the girl and gay ****s dead in their tracks.


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## Optimus Uber (Oct 7, 2014)

UL Driver SF said:


> I once had a drunk chick hike up her skirt and ask me if her cooch looked infected.
> 
> I replied....yes.
> 
> ...


Had two gay guys and two lesbians I picked up in west Hollywood. The gay guy up front told me how coked up he was and how he liked to bend dudes over and **** them so hard he would make them squeal like a pig. Then proceeded to ask me if I was gay or straight. I told him my asshole is sutured shut and I have a colostomy bag. The girl in the back informed me her crotch was sweaty as she reached up her skirt to wipe her crotch dry with her panties then turned to the other girl and,asked her to smell her hand if there was an odor. Yep, gots lots of stories. These were the sweaty days of summer. Ahhh such fond memories..... Hahaha, to say the least, I try my best to stay out of that area now.


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## Optimus Uber (Oct 7, 2014)

UberDude2 said:


> I have an awkward ride story from last night. So I picked up this couple from the Culver City area heading to a club in Hollywood. The female was a beautiful blonde which I found out later, was born in Sweden but raised in France so she had a very sexy French accent. Well, the whole time i'm trying to make small talk with the female, she's all over the dude kissing on him hugging him etc.. so her answers to me were short. The guy however gave me lots of attention. He asked several questions and continued to make small talk with me while this girl was draped all over him. The uncomfortable part is during the conversation the guy must have said that I was good looking at least 3 maybe 4 times. He was like Uberdude, (yes he called me uberdude, not sure how he knew) we are two good looking guys if we had money...blah blah blah. But initially he said you're a good looking guy what do you think about the color blue (or something like that) my point is he made sure to mention my looks a few times while ignoring this beautiful woman who was trying to get his attention. I was about to tell him to shut up and tend to her needs (before I do) but the ride ended too soon (you can probably tell I have no back seat sex rules). Needless to say, it was an awkward attention triangle.


I had a couple I picked up at 2:20 am one Sunday morning. They invited me in to have a drink up on the roof then take a shower with them. Told them, I'm a bit tired. I've been working 12 hours and am about to pass out. I should go home.

They were either on coke or meth. Coz peeps on those drugs have heightened senses. She kept going on how great the car smelled. Its,coz their senses are so heightened by the drugs it magnifies the intensity of everything.

Oh yeah, the guy is a cfo of a law firm in century city. He has a place on the beach in Venice.


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## UL Driver SF (Aug 29, 2014)

Optimus Uber said:


> Had two gay guys and two lesbians I picked up in west Hollywood. The gay guy up front told me how coked up he was and how he liked to bend dudes over and **** them so hard he would make them squeal like a pig. Then proceeded to ask me if I was gay or straight. I told him my asshole is sutured shut and I have a colostomy bag. The girl in the back informed me her crotch was sweaty as she reached up her skirt to wipe her crotch dry with her panties then turned to the other girl and,asked her to smell her hand if there was an odor. Yep, gots lots of stories. These were the sweaty days of summer. Ahhh such fond memories..... Hahaha, to say the least, I try my best to stay out of that area now.


You got the trifecta and didn't capitalize on it?

You could have gotten your whole wardrobe professionally picked out. Had your house decorated. And shot lesbian porn all in one ride.

Pfft.


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## Optimus Uber (Oct 7, 2014)

UL Driver SF said:


> You got the trifecta and didn't capitalize on it?
> 
> You could have gotten your whole wardrobe professionally picked out. Had your house decorated. And shot lesbian porn all in one ride.
> 
> Pfft.


Yeah I dropped them off and let them know, Andrew Christian should run for president. I bet he would win. Yeah, I can play the game too. He said I was yummy and he's giving me 10*'s. Lucky me, I guess....


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## Elmoooy (Sep 3, 2014)

I think.. I had an a passenger who might have been masturbating in back seat, i didn't really want to know or look! I just hurriedly took him to a to b. The way he was sitting and the car was shaking, like repetitive motion. I was nervous...


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## NYCDaFuture (Sep 16, 2014)

Optimus and others, im guessing these crazy stories are happening on weekends and night time? I mainly do during the week and during the early morning/afternoons. Have not seen any of these things happen at that time of the hours lol.


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## Chicago-uber (Jun 18, 2014)

NYCDaFuture said:


> Optimus and others, im guessing these crazy stories are happening on weekends and night time? I mainly do during the week and during the early morning/afternoons. Have not seen any of these things happen at that time of the hours lol.


Most of those weirdos live in California...


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## Optimus Uber (Oct 7, 2014)

Elmoooy said:


> I think.. I had an a passenger who might have been masturbating in back seat, i didn't really want to know or look! I just hurriedly took him to a to b. The way he was sitting and the car was shaking, like repetitive motion. I was nervous...


That's so gross!!!


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## Optimus Uber (Oct 7, 2014)

NYCDaFuture said:


> Optimus and others, im guessing these crazy stories are happening on weekends and night time? I mainly do during the week and during the early morning/afternoons. Have not seen any of these things happen at that time of the hours lol.


Yep, late night after midnight.


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## Optimus Uber (Oct 7, 2014)

Chicago-uber said:


> Most of those weirdos live in California...


Thanks, love you too. Dont get me started on Chicago and the reason that bean shines so bright, must be in the polishing compound, haha!!


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## UL Driver SF (Aug 29, 2014)

NYCDaFuture said:


> Optimus and others, im guessing these crazy stories are happening on weekends and night time? I mainly do during the week and during the early morning/afternoons. Have not seen any of these things happen at that time of the hours lol.


Some in the morning. Some during the day. Mostly weekend nights.


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## NYCDaFuture (Sep 16, 2014)

Come to think about it I remember picking up a lady rider 2 weeks ago in the morning. Going to the airport and in the back I can tell she was doing something with her legs like dressing up and changing panties Im guesssing lol. I did not look back there but I can tell lol.


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## MikeB (Dec 2, 2014)

Elmoooy said:


> I think.. I had an a passenger who might have been masturbating in back seat, i didn't really want to know or look! I just hurriedly took him to a to b. The way he was sitting and the car was shaking, like repetitive motion. I was nervous...


I had this guy who sat behind my back where it's pretty tight space and he kept doing something I couldn't see. I kept glancing, saw his leg stretched to the center floor and him bending low to tend to the leg. It smelled like medicine. I thought he was shooting drugs and felt really uncomfortable. He got out at North Beach bars looking very different and ... bizarre. I guess he was changing clothes during the ride. Felt really weird.


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## UberOne (Oct 31, 2014)

I picked up a guy in Downey who told me he once got kicked out of an uber straight into the middle of a street because he had indicated he was on shrooms.

He then proceeded to tell me he was on ecstasy! I didn't panic because he somehow he seemed normal and lucid, but I kept calm and had him talking throughout the ride about how he just broke up with his gf until we got to his destination, a strip club near dtla...


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## Sydney Uber (Apr 15, 2014)

Optimus Uber said:


> I had this one last week. Kind of stuck with me, just weirded me out.
> 
> Go pick up this girl in north Santa Monica going to lax. She puts her luggage in the back. She jumps in the front. I start driving, she keeps staring at me the entire trip. Making small talk about anything and everything possible, most not making sense.
> 
> ...


And then you woke up with a wet spot between ya legs!!!


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## Herios (Dec 27, 2014)

Chicago-uber said:


> Most of those weirdos live in California...


You're right! Mostly had such creepy situations happening the nights out there.


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## contactone (Oct 28, 2014)

So optimus, was she hot?


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## Optimus Uber (Oct 7, 2014)

contactone said:


> So optimus, was she hot?


No. I dont find women that are 20 years younger than me hot. To me they're still kids. Does nothing for me. I am attracted to women my own age that grew up in my era, that can hold an intelligent conversation. Just on a different level than someone who is 20 years younger. At my age, what is hot isn't just physical, you have to be able to hold an intelligent conversation. Not just how much coke I snorted last night or how many fireballs I had. Just a turn off, intelligence is hot, being a lush is not.


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## cannonball7 (Feb 18, 2016)

Optimus,

Could this girl been high on MDMA or LSD or the likes?


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## OrlandoUberX (Feb 15, 2016)

I picked this guy up from downtown to take him to his house about 20 miles away. We had a good conversation he said he was in the Navy. I got to his drop off spot and he just sat there. He turned to me and said "this is awkward", I turned back toward him and replied "a little, is there another destination you need to go to, did I drop you off at the wrong spot?" He looked at me and said "No, I was wondering if I could touch your d!ck", I awkwardly laugh hoping he was joking with me, he did not laugh back. I turned to him in my most serious tone "Get the [email protected] out of my car now", looking defeated by life he opened the car door and got out. I drove away as fast as I could and he got one star from me, if I could I would of given him no stars.


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## Reversoul (Feb 8, 2016)

Hey it's better than having creepy old men sitting up front. Talk about awkward.


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## dirtylee (Sep 2, 2015)

Ever been offered a tip to let some1 see your junk. I was pissed because the offer was $10 & not $100.


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## wk1102 (Dec 25, 2015)

dirtylee said:


> Ever been offered a tip to let some1 see your junk. I was pissed because the offer was $10 & not $100.


I wouldn't do it, I'd be afraid he'd want 5 back. :/


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## tohunt4me (Nov 23, 2015)

Optimus Uber said:


> I had this one last week. Kind of stuck with me, just weirded me out.
> 
> Go pick up this girl in north Santa Monica going to lax. She puts her luggage in the back. She jumps in the front. I start driving, she keeps staring at me the entire trip. Making small talk about anything and everything possible, most not making sense.
> 
> ...


Friendly eye contact.


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## MulletMan (Mar 2, 2016)

tohunt4me said:


> Friendly eye contact.


Telling her that u lost your penis in a horrific motorcycle accident, but you have had a hand pump replacement attached works really good.


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## tohunt4me (Nov 23, 2015)

MulletMan said:


> Telling her that u lost your penis in a horrific motorcycle accident, but you have had a hand pump replacement attached works really good.


I had a friend with the pump years ago.
Got run over by 3 cars.poped his eye out his head,plastic plate,crushed his pelvis.
His x claimed in the divorce he " was controlling her with sex".
That he would pump it up about 8 times a day.
( used to be like a $50,000 surgery back in 70's.some kind of valve they stick in behind the testicles.)


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## vesolehome (Aug 2, 2015)

Driving through Detroit at night and having a rider flip off the cars around us using the N word and mumbling don't bring a knife to a gun fight.
We were on the expressway so I couldn't stop. I kept it light and drive fast. Got him to his drop off and reported him to Lyft. This was a Lyft ride. Lyft called me back a few days later to get more details and kicked him off their platform. He was unstable and off.

On another ride recently, I took a 10 year old home. Said their mom wasn't feeling good and they use Uber all the time. I reported that one to Uber too. I won't pick up another minor. Too many things that can go wrong and I could be accused of. I can't believe the mother has her 10 year old taking Uber rides.


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