# What's your craziest PEE story



## kingUber

So being in NYC, naturally parking is your worst nightmare. This minute detail makes peeing become a potential nightmare. I know it's my fault for accepting pings whilst on a ride, the Uber gods always seem to 'knows this', if I'm pressed to the point I will explode I always get pings before rides are over. Yesterday I did the unthinkable. Parked at An ER ramp at St Lukes Hosp and went in to relieve myself. Luckily got no ticket. What are some of your crazy stories.


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## Firstime

Well, I'm female and don't have that option. I never let myself get to the point I feel like I'm going to explode. I will find a restroom the minute I feel the slightest pressure. When I was 19 I was drinking with my bf at the time. We had a long ride home and I had to go really bad and he would not stop anywhere or pull over bc he thought my squirming was so "cute". Well eventually it all came out bc I could no longer hold it,and was humiliated. That experience has caused me to never want to get to the point of no return ever again. I go even if I don't have to!


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## lyft_audi

I actually had to pull over and piss in a cup last night. I don't think I had more than 25 seconds between pings all night.

Not an easy task when I'm 6' 5" in a bucket seat... Worked tho

I had just dropped off a pax, turned off driver mode, drove to a dark part of the street and did it...


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## kingUber

Firstime said:


> Well, I'm female and don't have that option. I never let myself get to the point I feel like I'm going to explode. I will find a restroom the minute I feel the slightest pressure. When I was 19 I was drinking with my bf at the time. We had a long ride home and I had to go really bad and he would not stop anywhere or pull over bc he thought my squirming was so "cute". Well eventually it all came out bc I could no longer hold it,and was humiliated. That experience has caused me to never want to get to the point of no return ever again. I go even if I don't have to!


Good reason not to. It's so tough though. The cycle of hydrating with water, coffee for the kick here and there before you know it bladder is full. NYC has gas stations all the way uptown or all the way on the Far East or far west. Maybe someone should open a relief station, watch your car while you pee for an hour.


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## kingUber

lyft_audi said:


> I actually had to pull over and piss in a cup last night. I don't think I had more than 25 seconds between pings all night.
> 
> Not an easy task when I'm 6' 5" in a bucket seat... Worked tho
> 
> I had just dropped off a pax, turned off driver mode, drove to a dark part of the street and did it...


Lol. Let's just say I almost did that too. Very close until hospital popped up. Who tickets at the ER entrance, so took the chance.


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## Bill Collector

Nothing like underestimating the quantity of the P. One time even one more drop would have brokne the levee and caused flooding. I carry the compact version for emergency purposes.


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## RightTurnClyde

I find it crazy that I haven't yet been caught peeing all over my particular city. Maybe it's because I've perfected the art over countless gallons of coffee or possibly the stealthiness of my technique. There's just something about relieving oneself in the open air next to some bushes that no sleazy gas station bathroom can match...


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## Coachman

I try to make a point of stopping at 7-Eleven after every second ride. That usually keeps things at bay. I've had three rides I can remember where I had to stop with the passenger in the car. Twice as a precautionary measure while I was just getting underway on 30-40 mile trips. The third time was in the middle of an hour-plus long ride to the airport. The guys were already late for their flight and were not at all happy that I had to stop. But I wasn't about to drive an hour home with wet pants. I do have an empty Gatorade bottle I keep in the back just in case. I've had to use it several times.


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## wk1102

Not an Uber story but... 

One time a sports bar owner charted a bus to a football game, I was a manager at a grocery store close to his place and often helped him out with change and bulk orders so I got an invite and two tickets to the game. There were multiple bottles of liquor on the bus and two kegs of beer however the bus did not have a bathroom. It is about a 2 hour drive to the stadium without traffic, game day adds a half hour easy. Well a keg plus and over an hour into the trip more than half of us had to pee. The driver would not get off the I-95 but said he'd pull over on the shoulder. I think he was bluffing, I'm not sure but we agreed and he did. 30 plus people including 4 woman all got off the bus and relieved themselves right there on the grass next to I 95. 

What a sight it must have been.


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## Santa

Depends is your best friend.


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## Firstime

wk1102 said:


> Not an Uber story but...
> 
> One time a sports bar owner charted a bus to a football game, I was a manager at a grocery store close to his place and often helped him out with change and bulk orders so I got an invite and two tickets to the game. There were multiple bottles of liquor on the bus and two kegs of beer however the bus did not have a bathroom. It is about a 2 hour drive to the stadium without traffic, game day adds a half hour easy. Well a keg plus and over an hour into the trip more than half of us had to pee. The driver would not get off the I-95 but said he'd pull over on the shoulder. I think he was bluffing, I'm not sure but we agreed and he did. 30 plus people including 4 woman all got off the bus and relieved themselves right there on the grass next to I 95.
> 
> What a sight it must have been.


Some people have no clue that when you say you gotta go now,that you really have to go NOW!! Not 5 min from now but now! I will loose my #!%$ if someone asks me if I can wait!


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## simpsonsverytall

7-11 , target, safeway, mcdonalds etc... I tend to memorize the best bathrooms after a while and then make sure to hit one when my route brings me close.


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## sarasota ron

My favorite dropoff is the Ritz Carlton in downtown Sarasota. They let you park right up front after you let your passengers out. All the doormen are super nice and the bathrooms are like a palace with cloth towels to dry your hands. 
My other options usually involve taking a leak in the trees somewhere, LOL.


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## RedDragonQueen

Funny you should ask. Last night I was on my way to a gas station to pee then got a ping. I accepted it because it was guaranteed hours and I needed my second ping for the hour. I was on my way and was in the middle of nowhere so I pulled off the side of the road hid behind my car and peed. I got back in my car quickly and continued to pick up my pax. She was none the wiser what happened before I picked her up haha.


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## Newwber

I only drive during the daytime.... but at the age of 54..... peeing is paramount! I'm lucky in that I'm a well dressed, average white dude with a nice car. NOBODY questions me when I stroll into a hotel, office building, grocery store or the like. I just glide to the mens room and take care of business.

Since nobody here really knows me... I don't mind sharing that I have a difficult time "completing the task" when others are around me when nature calls.... so a stall is a must! Office buildings have very clean terlits...... grocery stores are the worst..... 

Growing older bites!


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## SibeRescueBrian

One time when I was in NYC hanging out with my pal Kramer, we couldn't find my car in the parking garage after we got done doing a little shopping. After wandering around for what seemed like hours, I couldn't hold it anymore and did my thing in what I thought was a secluded area. WELL, after I zipped up and turned around, who was standing there glaring at me? Johnny Law, of course. I tried to explain my dire medical condition of uromysitisis, but he just wouldn't have any of it.


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## RockinEZ

We are lucky in San Diego. There are plenty of public and private places to take a leak. 

The real trick if you get caught in an emergency situation is to have a towel to cover your "cash and prizes". That way you don't go to jail for public exposure. 

Urinating in public is a low fine ticket. 
Public exposure is registering as a sex offender every time you move. 

I did have a pax pee in my back seat. 
I did a pick up at Sea World San Diego. Very normal family. Mom, Dad, and two kids. 
The folks next door. 

It was a 12 minute ride, and the mom took a leak in my back seat. 
I caught it immediately, took photos and Uber charged them $200 cleaning fee. 

I was out of service until the deep cleaned rear seat was dry. That took two days. 
I did the cleaning myself, but it was still a financial hit.


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## Firstime

RockinEZ said:


> We are lucky in San Diego. There are plenty of public and private places to take a leak.
> 
> The real trick if you get caught in an emergency situation is to have a towel to cover your "cash and prizes". That way you don't go to jail for public exposure.
> 
> Urinating in public is a low fine ticket.
> Public exposure is registering as a sex offender every time you move.
> 
> I did have a pax pee in my back seat.
> I did a pick up at Sea World San Diego. Very normal family. Mom, Dad, and two kids.
> The folks next door.
> 
> It was a 12 minute ride, and the mom took a leak in my back seat.
> I caught it immediately, took photos and Uber charged them $200 cleaning fee.
> 
> I was out of service until the deep cleaned rear seat was dry. That took two days.
> I did the cleaning myself, but it was still a financial hit.


Did she pull her pants down to pee on your seat?


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## RockinEZ

Firstime said:


> Did she pull her pants down to pee on your seat?


Nope, she peed herself.
That is how I caught her. She got out of the car and her pants were wet.
Twelve minutes was too long.

They had not been drinking alcohol. 
Go figure.


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## Firstime

RockinEZ said:


> Nope, she peed herself.
> That is how I caught her. She got out of the car and her pants were wet.
> Twelve minutes was too long.
> 
> They had not been drinking alcohol.
> Go figure.


Dang that's embarrasing. Did she ask you to stop or say she had to go? I can't imagine a grown woman not at least attempting to ask you to pull over.


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## RockinEZ

Firstime said:


> Dang that's embarrasing. Did she ask you to stop or say she had to go? I can't imagine a grown woman not at least attempting to ask you to pull over.


Not a word to me. She spent a lot of time keeping the kids in line, but not a mention of having to stop.

I would have done it in a second, as I know all the good places to pee in San Diego after driving for Uber.


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## Dandelion

I remember one day. I was a kid then, going up 
To the White Mountains in New Hampshire
For a weekend with my cousins and their Kids,
My parents and I had a great weekend up there
That weekend. I remember, when the weekend
Was over, we all stopped to eat before heading
Home, when we went our seperating ways, it
Was then we headed home. I went to thec
Bathroom before heading home, however, 
Halfway home. I think it was anyway. I
Had to pee really bad. I really was really
Uncomfortable. I remember dad stopping at 
A gas station, we had to. I was going to
Burst. I made it to te bathroom. I thought 
I'd never stop peeing. God, I swear, it was 
A horrible feeling. I did feel better after I
Went, my bladder would have thanked me
For relieving all the pressure, that's how bad
It was. I have another story, will be made 
In a different reply.

Story 2: This One Is A Lulu! 

I had a kidney transplant in June of
2005. I remember for the first 6 months 
To a year after a transplant, you have
To be near a bathroom, you drink a
Lot to get the kidney going, and 
Liquids is not too welcoming.
My mother and father are divorced.
I live with my mother, and for many 
Years now we have vacationed almost 
Every year up in Maine. The first 
Vacation since my transplant. I 
Remember my mom and I being
At the Nubble Light in York,
It's a weekend, traffic is a real
*****.

I remember that mom went to the ladies
Room before leaving and heading to a 
Restaurant to eat. I wasen't thinking. 
I just had a transplant in June. I was 
Heading to the bathroom quite often 
To pee. Ok, well. I foolishly thought I 
Would make it to the restaurant, and
I would go to the bathroom when we
Get there. Big mistake, it's a Saturday 
In the late summer, traffic is a *****.
I regretted waiting. I was ok for a short
Time, then I really needed to pee. 
Remember that I had to have mom stop
Someplace. I had to pee so badly it's
Not funny. Finally, mom pulled into a 
Visitor or information building, a small
White building. I go in, went to the 
Bathroom and boy did I pee. I thought
I'd never stop, peed to beat the band.
I finally felt better and I went back to 
The car and we headed to a place to eat.

Here's a tip: if you are looking at this story and 
Are on a kidney transplant list, here's a heads 
Up, when you get your kidney, you will
Need to be by a bathroom for the first 6 months
To a year, no lie, your body is adjusting to 
Having a kidney, and you will need to drink 
A lot more that lots of people due to transplant,
That will make you pee. After a year, you 
Will start going to the bathroom normally, you
Will adjust to a normal life.


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## Ezridax

I was waiting for tickets for Star Wars outside the Senator Theatre in Baltimore for episode 3... It was after hours so everywhere was closed and the Senator hadn’t gotten a portapottie yet... next closest bathroom was about a mile walk away... I had to pee too bad so I went in the back of my explorer and peed in a large McDonald’s cup. And then overflowed the cup all over my seat. Oops.


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## SuzeCB

Firstime said:


> Well, I'm female and don't have that option. I never let myself get to the point I feel like I'm going to explode. I will find a restroom the minute I feel the slightest pressure. When I was 19 I was drinking with my bf at the time. We had a long ride home and I had to go really bad and he would not stop anywhere or pull over bc he thought my squirming was so "cute". Well eventually it all came out bc I could no longer hold it,and was humiliated. That experience has caused me to never want to get to the point of no return ever again. I go even if I don't have to!


You immediately dumped the creep, right?


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## Uber Crack

Once a drunk woman asked me to pull over NOW! So I assumed she had to vomit. I said, "hold on" and took the next freeway exit into not a great area, a vacant lot. She opened the door and started to get out. I said, "stay in the car and just lean out to vomit. That way your legs and shoes stay clean."
She said, "but I need to pee"
So I sat facing forward. Next thing I heard a scuffle and a groan. I looked over my shoulder and all I saw were two white butt cheeks facing up. She had done a face plant into the tar with her naked butt in the air. I thought, "oh shit!"
So I jumped out and helped her back into a squat holding her arm.


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## Oliver4everYNG

Once, when I was in Wien, I went to Burger King to pee. But didn't want to buy anything (there is a code to toilette on check). I found some used check on a table and tried it. But it didn't let me went in to men toilette but was correct to lady's room. I ventured and went in. When I've finished and headed to exit, father with his small (near 8-10 year) daughter went in. I stopped. They stopped too. I was looking on father, they was looking on me. Then he looked at lady's picture on door. I said: "Other one was closed (" 
Then I tried to disappear ASAP.


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## Irishjohn831

I run a catheter along the roof of my car and down the front windshield. When I have to pee I tell the passengers it’s yellow windshield washer fluid


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## JimKE

Funny you should ask. I was talking to my wife and daughter just a few minutes ago about funny pee stories, and I told them (and I quote),_ "If I had a REALLY funny pee story, the one place I would share it first would be UP!"_

Sorry to disappoint...


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## Snowblind

> I have a difficult time "completing the task"


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## Dandelion

Here's A Shockng Story! (This Really Happened).

When I was a kid, something scary happened, one
Day, it was long after my first grandfather died.
I remember mom and dad going to open a savings
Account at a bank, that used to be around. I 
Was getting tired of standing, so mom told me to
Go to the car. I got into the car, now mind you, this 
Is in the 80s. I got into the car, played with the 
Gear shift, and the car starts rolling across a
Busy street. I tried to stop the car. I opened the 
Door, but I failed to stop it. I fell out of the car,
A tire ran oover my leg. I ran across a busy
Street, by coincidence, a friend of dad's brother 
Was at the bank, he asked who I belonged to,
Meaning who my parents are. I was scares, and
What I did was dumb. I was young, we all do
Dumb things. I had no broken bones, it was 
Minor sprain. Oh, my mother could have killed me.

Feel free to comment. I'd love roto
Hear what people think.


Love, Dandelion


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## Irishjohn831

ziploc bags and make pee pee water balloons for non tippers would not be a good idea


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## Mars Troll Number 4

So this one time...

Picked up this drunken COED *taking her from a club to UCF campus area*, she had me pull over on the highway.. thinking to myself, Great, she has enough state of mind to get out to vomit and not do it out the door...

No...she just hiked up her skirt along the side of the highway to relieve herself..


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## Zee786

Few weeks ago, I ignored desire to pee for a couple of hours as it was very busy. I was in downtown. I was planning to but got a ride and it was a long ride to a country side of 35 minute. It was about to explode but somehow controlled. Dropped passenger and stopped my car on country side road and started my task. It was night time
An over kind old lady was driving by, she saw my car on road while I am busy in my job on road
"Hey hun, are you OK, do you need help"
"Ya I am Ok"
"Is your car OK
"Yes, OK"
Still busy in my task and feeling very awkward
"Do you need help"
No, I am good"
"Are you sure"
Yes yes yes”, (f**** yes )
Then, I think she realized and left. It was too awkward for me


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## SadUber

I once went to pick up some passengers. The girl came to my car and said that she had to get a friend and I would have to wait at least five minutes more for them." Perfect," I thought, " gives me a chance to relieve myself."
I am zipped my pants, put a king sized McDonald's cup between my legs, and then covered up my lap with a jacket. I would empty the contents of the cup in the lawn next to a big tree. 30 seconds later, the girl in her friend abruptly opened my car doors and jumped in and announced they were ready to go. I kept my lap covered with a jacket, and fortunately they never suspected what I had splashing around between my legs during the trip to their home.


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