# Aspergers Driver



## CStarzzSelect (Jul 20, 2017)

How do I let people know that I have Aspergers without scaring them?
Sometimes pax make jokes I font understand, and they get upset when I don’t laugh thinking I’m being rude. When they through sarcasm my way I never see it coming, so I answer them and they get upset. I can’t tell the difference between someone who is being serious and someone who is joking. Should I make a sign for the back seat that states that I have Aspergers and what it is? It gets frustrating after a few rides and I became stressed out easily.


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## Uber's Guber (Oct 22, 2017)

CStarzzSelect said:


> Should I make a sign for the back seat that states that I have Aspergers and what it is?


Maybe try using the "I Am Deaf" feature that is available through the app? Might be more convenient way of shutting down pax.


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## CStarzzSelect (Jul 20, 2017)

Uber's Guber said:


> Maybe try using the "I Am Deaf" feature that is available through the app.


but I'm not Deaf.


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## Uber's Guber (Oct 22, 2017)

CStarzzSelect said:


> but I'm not Deaf.


And you didn't hear me say you were deaf. 
If pax are notified through the app that you are deaf, they won't waste time bothering you when you start the ride.
Or, you can go through the whole hassle of hanging signs and explaining to everybody what Aspergers is and why you don't laugh at their jokes. Most rides don't last long enough to explain everything.
Me, I prefer the shortcut approach when dealing with pax.


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## CStarzzSelect (Jul 20, 2017)

I only work the airport, usually rides from the airport are an hour long.


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## Uber's Guber (Oct 22, 2017)

CStarzzSelect said:


> I only work the airport, usually rides from the airport are an hour long.


Okay..... just never mind then.


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## CStarzzSelect (Jul 20, 2017)

Uber's Guber said:


> Okay..... just never mind then.


See how you feel right now, this is why I need to let them know. I'm very literal, and it frustrates people.


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## Uber's Guber (Oct 22, 2017)

CStarzzSelect said:


> See how you feel right now, this is why I need to let them know. I'm very literal, and it frustrates people.


I can't hear you. I'm deaf. :thumbup:


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## CStarzzSelect (Jul 20, 2017)

Uber's Guber said:


> I can't hear you. I'm deaf. :thumbup:


:cryin:


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## Wolfgang Faust (Aug 2, 2018)

CStarzzSelect said:


> See how you feel right now, this is why I need to let them know. I'm very literal, and it frustrates people.


Do not tell them you have Asperger's.
People are stupid and will then assume something worse.

Saying you have bad hearing is better.


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## GreatWhiteHope (Sep 18, 2018)

CStarzzSelect said:


> How do I let people know that I have Aspergers without scaring them?
> Sometimes pax make jokes I font understand, and they get upset when I don't laugh thinking I'm being rude. When they through sarcasm my way I never see it coming, so I answer them and they get upset. I can't tell the difference between someone who is being serious and someone who is joking. Should I make a sign for the back seat that states that I have Aspergers and what it is? It gets frustrating after a few rides and I became stressed out easily.


Put it in your profile like the interesting things about you ?


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## CStarzzSelect (Jul 20, 2017)

Wolfgang Faust said:


> Do not tell them you have Asperger's.
> People are stupid and will then assume something worse.
> 
> Saying you have bad hearing is better.


Knowing people in this area they will start yelling, and ppl with Aspergers are sensitive to load noises. Sometimes i jump when its quiet and they start talking loud out of the blue.



GreatWhiteHope said:


> Put it in your profile like the interesting things about you ?


 You are brilliant!









How does this sound? Does it sound right? Not mean? Welcoming? Just informative?


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## Wolfgang Faust (Aug 2, 2018)

CStarzzSelect said:


> Knowing people in this area they will start yelling, and ppl with Aspergers are sensitive to load noises. Sometimes i jump when its quiet and they start talking loud out of the blue.
> 
> 
> You are brilliant!
> ...


That is good.


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## Mkang14 (Jun 29, 2019)

CStarzzSelect said:


> Knowing people in this area they will start yelling, and ppl with Aspergers are sensitive to load noises. Sometimes i jump when its quiet and they start talking loud out of the blue.
> 
> 
> You are brilliant!
> ...


Love it❣


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## GreatWhiteHope (Sep 18, 2018)

CStarzzSelect said:


> Knowing people in this area they will start yelling, and ppl with Aspergers are sensitive to load noises. Sometimes i jump when its quiet and they start talking loud out of the blue.
> 
> 
> You are brilliant!
> ...


Perfect imo


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## doyousensehumor (Apr 13, 2015)

CStarzzSelect said:


> How do I let people know that I have Aspergers without scaring them?
> Sometimes pax make jokes I font understand, and they get upset when I don't laugh thinking I'm being rude. When they through sarcasm my way I never see it coming, so I answer them and they get upset. I can't tell the difference between someone who is being serious and someone who is joking. Should I make a sign for the back seat that states that I have Aspergers and what it is? It gets frustrating after a few rides and I became stressed out easily.


I apologise in advance for any of my posts you may read :redface:&#128521;


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## MasterAbsher (Oct 16, 2019)

Not sure I'd bring it up. People who dont understand it may use it against you. Some might even be uncomfortable with you as a driver and give you low ratings. . One of my best employees had same. He didnt go around saying Hi, my name is Mike and I have Aspergers


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## doyousensehumor (Apr 13, 2015)

CStarzzSelect said:


> Knowing people in this area they will start yelling, and ppl with Aspergers are sensitive to load noises. Sometimes i jump when its quiet and they start talking loud out of the blue.
> 
> 
> You are brilliant!
> ...


Perfect, that looks like a good way to put it.
That may work, and may help.
But, be warned, most pax don't read profiles.


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## Mkang14 (Jun 29, 2019)

MasterAbsher said:


> Not sure I'd bring it up. People who dont understand it may use it against you. Some might even be uncomfortable with you as a driver and give you low ratings. . One of my best employees had same. He didnt go around saying Hi, my name is Mike and I have Aspergers


Maybe this is a chance for him to teach people about it.

He shouldnt be ashamed of having a higher then average IQ &#128521;


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## CStarzzSelect (Jul 20, 2017)

MasterAbsher said:


> Not sure I'd bring it up. People who dont understand it may use it against you. Some might even be uncomfortable with you as a driver and give you low ratings. . One of my best employees had same. He didnt go around saying Hi, my name is Mike and I have Aspergers


I get what you're saying, but its become so frustrating when they get upset for something, i don't mean to have.


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## MasterAbsher (Oct 16, 2019)

Mkang14 said:


> Maybe this is a chance for him to teach people about it.
> 
> He shouldnt be ashamed of having a higher then average IQ &#128521;


No one ever said he should be ashamed.


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## Mkang14 (Jun 29, 2019)

MasterAbsher said:


> No one ever said he should be ashamed.


Telling someone to hide a part of his identity, implied that.

Why not tell others? Especially if it will help him feel more comfortable that people are aware.


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## MasterAbsher (Oct 16, 2019)

Mkang14 said:


> Telling someone to hide a part of his identity, implied that.
> 
> Why not tell others? Especially if it will help him feel more comfortable that people are aware.


Wow, are you really that stupid?


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## CStarzzSelect (Jul 20, 2017)

MasterAbsher said:


> Wow, are you really that stupid?


That was uncalled for, why would you respond in this manner.
It would make me feel way more comfortable if my pax knew, that way its isn't a surprise later.


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## Willwilldriveyouinsane (Jun 25, 2019)

CStarzzSelect said:


> How do I let people know that I have Aspergers without scaring them?
> Sometimes pax make jokes I font understand, and they get upset when I don't laugh thinking I'm being rude. When they through sarcasm my way I never see it coming, so I answer them and they get upset. I can't tell the difference between someone who is being serious and someone who is joking. Should I make a sign for the back seat that states that I have Aspergers and what it is? It gets frustrating after a few rides and I became stressed out easily.


It's really not their business but if you insist on sharing I think you can be straight up with them.


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## Invisible (Jun 15, 2018)

CStarzzSelect said:


> That was uncalled for, why would you respond in this manner.
> It would make me feel way more comfortable if my pax knew, that way its isn't a surprise later.


If it would make you feel more comfortable, try it out. It's a good note in your profile. You explained it well.


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## oldfart (Dec 22, 2017)

Instead of saying “please be polite”, I might say something like “please understand”


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## waldowainthrop (Oct 25, 2019)

One thing to remember is that very few passengers read the driver profile. In my experience, the passengers who read driver profiles are already much more likely to be empathetic and decent people. They read the profile because they want to connect with others and understand them.

I think learning the sorts of jokes that people make may help you. Although some people engage in absurdist, dry, or referential humor that you might find hard to read, seeing if there are patterns and certain common phrases that people use may be a tactic you can use.

Another thing to remember is that you can’t please everyone and you don’t have to please everyone. Many people will surprise you with their understanding if you make it clear to them where you are coming from. However, I wouldn’t recommend talking about the autism spectrum immediately with complete strangers as people have misconceptions about it. A lot of people use humor as a way to break down social barriers with strangers so if you find another way to do that (ask an interesting question, tell a good story), some people may react positively. If Aspergers comes up in conversation, by all means talk about it.


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## Asificarewhatyoudontthink (Jul 6, 2017)

Uber's Guber said:


> I can't hear you. I'm deaf. :thumbup:


Nope you are just not that bright and don't get the concept.

You are doing to them exactly what they are trying to avoid on a daily basis.

Worst thing that happens, OP, if you hang signs you will get people thinking you should be all "Rainman" or "The Good Doctor" with some savant talent.


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## jlong105 (Sep 15, 2017)

CStarzzSelect said:


> Knowing people in this area they will start yelling, and ppl with Aspergers are sensitive to load noises. Sometimes i jump when its quiet and they start talking loud out of the blue.
> 
> 
> You are brilliant!
> ...


It sounds polite and straight forward.


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## Tarvus (Oct 3, 2018)

oldfart said:


> Instead of saying "please be polite", I might say something like "please understand"


I would change it to "Thank you for understanding". I would also have signs made to hang on the back of the front head rests and on the dash on the passenger side.



MasterAbsher said:


> Wow, are you really that stupid?


Wow! Are you really that obnoxious?


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## waldowainthrop (Oct 25, 2019)

Tarvus said:


> I would change it to "Thank you for understanding". I would also have signs made to hang on the back of the front head rests and on the dash on the passenger side.


A note about signs. Some people find signs to be passive aggressive and impersonal, especially when the message is strong or if it is too wordy.










If you make a sign, make sure it doesn't have a "tone" or an explicit request like this one above does, otherwise it may do more harm than good.

I am not saying don't make a sign - but do tread lightly.


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## UbaBrah (Oct 25, 2019)

A short profile note is good, but I probably wouldn't make a sign in all honesty. Nodding and smiling through your trips is always recommended, and truth be told, even people with good social skills like myself can't understand half the garbled bs pax dish out or think is hilarious. We're all in that position to some degree.


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## LetsGoUber (Aug 7, 2017)

Earplugs to drown out the music you're going to crank up to discourage conversation


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## DudeUbering (Sep 21, 2017)

waldowainthrop said:


> A note about signs. Some people find signs to be passive aggressive and impersonal, especially when the message is strong or if it is too wordy.
> 
> View attachment 401479
> 
> ...


The idiot that stapled this sign to to back of the seat has more issues being a driver then anybody with Aspergers...


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## waldowainthrop (Oct 25, 2019)

DudeUbering said:


> The idiot that stapled this sign to to back of the seat has more issues being a driver then anybody with Aspergers...


Yep. Or he has a mental condition that we aren't being sensitive to. Bad sign either way.


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## FormerTaxiDriver♧ (Apr 5, 2018)

CStarzzSelect said:


> How do I let people know that I have Aspergers without scaring them?
> Sometimes pax make jokes I font understand, and they get upset when I don't laugh thinking I'm being rude. When they through sarcasm my way I never see it coming, so I answer them and they get upset. I can't tell the difference between someone who is being serious and someone who is joking. Should I make a sign for the back seat that states that I have Aspergers and what it is? It gets frustrating after a few rides and I became stressed out easily.


Start getting stoned before you drive. Try CBD stuff.


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## DudeUbering (Sep 21, 2017)

On a serious note, both my step sons have Aspergers, but they refer to themselves as 'high functioning autistic". Sitting here at my desk just thinking about either one of them driving Uber is hard.. For example ___ Hey driver, what time is it ... it's 1:27 and 34 seconds ..


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## waldowainthrop (Oct 25, 2019)

DudeUbering said:


> On a serious note, both my step sons have Aspergers, but they refer to themselves as 'high functioning autistic". Sitting here at my desk just thinking about either one of them driving Uber is hard.. For example ___ *Hey driver, what time is it ... it's 1:27 and 34 seconds ..*


If a driver said this it would be pretty harmless even if some people think it's "weird". I am not autistic and against cultural norms I read off the time in 24-hour time to the minute and read the temperature in Celsius. I also translate into 12-hour time and Fahrenheit. Being weird is OK as long as you get the basics of human interaction right, while providing appropriate service for the price (which is pretty much A to B).

I think many autistic people could do the gig if they want to and as long as realize that driving people around is fraught with compromise. Most people are fundamentally agreeable and willing to meet you halfway if you are willing to meet them halfway. As for the rest, forget em.


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## mch (Nov 22, 2018)

CStarzzSelect said:


> Knowing people in this area they will start yelling, and ppl with Aspergers are sensitive to load noises. Sometimes i jump when its quiet and they start talking loud out of the blue.
> 
> 
> You are brilliant!
> ...


This is great! I know if I was your pax Id be accommodating to your request.

If they can't respect it, screw em!

By screw em I don't literally mean have sex with them&#128514;. I mean don't let them bother you and move on.


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## AnointedOne (Apr 11, 2018)

CStarzzSelect said:


> Knowing people in this area they will start yelling, and ppl with Aspergers are sensitive to load noises. Sometimes i jump when its quiet and they start talking loud out of the blue.
> 
> 
> You are brilliant!
> ...


It sounds great, but only 5% to 10% of paxs bother to read our driver profiles. Just to give you an idea, 95% of my paxs start the conversation like so how long have you been driving for uber? How many trips have you done so far? and I am thinking dude it clearly says on my profile how long I have been driving and how many trips I have done so far -o:.

I agree with @Uber's Guber just turn on "I am Deaf" feature, I understand you are not deaf but it would avoid unnecessary discomfort.

Good luck!


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## MHR (Jul 23, 2017)

DudeUbering said:


> On a serious note, both my step sons have Aspergers, but they refer to themselves as 'high functioning autistic". Sitting here at my desk just thinking about either one of them driving Uber is hard.. For example ___ Hey driver, what time is it ... it's 1:27 and 34 seconds ..


I laughed at your post because this is my "high functioning autistic" son to a tee.



AnointedOne said:


> I agree with @Uber's Guber just turn on "I am Deaf" feature, I understand you are not deaf but it would avoid unnecessary discomfort.


The post I quoted above yours shows why (more than likely) he won't try the "I am deaf" feature.

In my son's world there is no gray area. His world is black and white, there's no fibbing, stretching or massaging the truth. Our OP is not deaf therefore turning on that feature is not okay.

I don't speak for OP but I know that's how it works in my son's world.


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## AnointedOne (Apr 11, 2018)

MHR said:


> I laughed at your post because this is my "high functioning autistic" son to a tee.
> 
> The post I quoted above yours shows why (more than likely) he won't try the "I am deaf" feature.
> 
> ...


I have worked with several autistic people in the past and I understand what you are saying. I was just trying to help my fellow uber driver with a simple trick to avoid those dumb questions from some paxs who don't know what Asperger is and can't even spell it.


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## Cubs44 (Jul 12, 2019)

Just make 3 signs explaining, 2 signs in the back, and 1 for up front passenger seat.


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## waldowainthrop (Oct 25, 2019)

I also want to add about signs and talking with people about autism or any other issue. "Educating" people in a rideshare context is nearly impossible. Act like a decent person and do what you can to do the gig and that's almost always enough.

You don't need to advocate for yourself and your own identity and life experience. A lot of passengers have their own deal and don't care about any of this stuff as long as the ride is safe and convenient. Meet people halfway and a lot of them will meet you halfway. If people don't get you, forget them, or as @mch put it less delicately "screw em".


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## Trafficat (Dec 19, 2016)

I'm not so good with social communication. A lot of people, one of my closest friends, and multiple pax have told me they think I might be "on the spectrum" but I don't know and I don't really care. I think it would upset people to tell them you think you have some disorder, and it might even scare them into thinking it is unsafe to ride with you. I think it is probably best to try and pretend as much as possible that you are normal. So you upset some people when you don't understand them, but what is your driver rating? As long as it is good enough maybe what you are doing right now is okay. I quite often do not find jokes funny. If I *think* a person is trying to make a joke, I try to make a chuckling noise.

The good thing with Uber is you don't have to see any of these passengers ever again. When I worked at hotels and casinos, for the most part I could just stay in one place so anyone coming to talk to me had to come to me. But at my last job I was a mechanic at a large factory. I loved the work, but I hated how you had to walk around the building and you would walk past coworkers. I liked these guys and gals who were my coworkers. At first I liked walking past them, I'd just wave and smile. But for some reason something changed. All of the sudden nobody was waving back or smiling back. Even people who I had talked to a lot in the past and thought of as friends and not just coworkers. It's like I had overdone it. I was afraid I was going to get sexual harassment complaints so I began to make wide paths to avoid walking near anyone I knew and avoid eye contact if I did walk near, which seemed to at least make people less bothered. Company meetings were terrible. We'd sit or stand waiting 15 minutes for the speaker to show up. Everyone was drinking coffee and talking to each other. What was I doing? I was struggling through 15 minutes of torture. I can't talk to them without bothering them. Do I stare at a fixed point? I'd do that and people wouldn't think I was bothering them but then people would ask me, disingenuously, if something is wrong. Do I pretend to fall asleep somewhere? That was my favorite choice, but only worked if I was sitting at a table.


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## CStarzzSelect (Jul 20, 2017)

Trafficat said:


> I'm not so good with social communication. A lot of people, one of my closest friends, and multiple pax have told me they think I might be "on the spectrum" but I don't know and I don't really care. I think it would upset people to tell them you think you have some disorder, and it might even scare them into thinking it is unsafe to ride with you. I think it is probably best to try and pretend as much as possible that you are normal. So you upset some people when you don't understand them, but what is your driver rating? As long as it is good enough maybe what you are doing right now is okay. I quite often do not find jokes funny. If I *think* a person is trying to make a joke, I try to make a chuckling noise.
> 
> The good thing with Uber is you don't have to see any of these passengers ever again. When I worked at hotels and casinos, for the most part I could just stay in one place so anyone coming to talk to me had to come to me. But at my last job I was a mechanic at a large factory. I loved the work, but I hated how you had to walk around the building and you would walk past coworkers. I liked these guys and gals who were my coworkers. At first I liked walking past them, I'd just wave and smile. But for some reason something changed. All of the sudden nobody was waving back or smiling back. Even people who I had talked to a lot in the past and thought of as friends and not just coworkers. It's like I had overdone it. I was afraid I was going to get sexual harassment complaints so I began to make wide paths to avoid walking near anyone I knew and avoid eye contact if I did walk near, which seemed to at least make people less bothered. Company meetings were terrible. We'd sit or stand waiting 15 minutes for the speaker to show up. Everyone was drinking coffee and talking to each other. What was I doing? I was struggling through 15 minutes of torture. I can't talk to them without bothering them. Do I stare at a fixed point? I'd do that and people wouldn't think I was bothering them but then people would ask me, disingenuously, if something is wrong. Do I pretend to fall asleep somewhere? That was my favorite choice, but only worked if I was sitting at a table.


I think my rating is pretty good, I just get frustrated.


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## waldowainthrop (Oct 25, 2019)

CStarzzSelect said:


> I think my rating is pretty good, I just get frustrated.


With a 4.95 you are one of the best drivers in your market as far as ratings go. Probably top 2-5% by rating. Don't worry about it. You are probably exceeding expectations of your typical passenger. You don't need signs and you don't need to explain yourself to people.


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## tohunt4me (Nov 23, 2015)

CStarzzSelect said:


> but I'm not Deaf.


YOU STATED YOU ARE DEAF TO SARCASM & INUENDO.



CStarzzSelect said:


> Knowing people in this area they will start yelling, and ppl with Aspergers are sensitive to load noises. Sometimes i jump when its quiet and they start talking loud out of the blue.
> 
> 
> You are brilliant!
> ...


O NO !

THEY WOULD TAKE TURNS TESTING YOUR SYMPTOMS.

THE LESS YOU GIVE PAX TO USE AGAINST YOU
THE BETTER !


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## CStarzzSelect (Jul 20, 2017)

tohunt4me said:


> YOU STATED YOU ARE DEAF TO SARCASM & INUENDO.
> 
> 
> O NO !
> ...


Are pax really that rude and mean to test me.....like that sounds like I'd be a zoo for fun, so people could poke at me, and make me cry on purpose.


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## tohunt4me (Nov 23, 2015)

CStarzzSelect said:


> Are pax really that rude and mean to test me.....like that sounds like I'd be a zoo for fun, so people could poke at me, and make me cry on purpose.


DONT DRIVE COLLEGE BAR CROWDS !

THE YOUNG ELITE INTOXICATED.

WHO KNOW NOTHING OF THE REAL WORLD.

THEY WILL SHRED YOUR ENTRAILS FOR SPORT.


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## CStarzzSelect (Jul 20, 2017)

tohunt4me said:


> DONT DRIVE COLLEGE BAR CROWDS !


I don't drive anywhere but the airport arrivals. Folks are usually in the car with me for an hour. 
No uber here does the college crowd, because that crowd is known to try and get a free ride, so hey call uber and get us deactivated just to get their money back.


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## Trafficat (Dec 19, 2016)

CStarzzSelect said:


> Are pax really that rude and mean to test me.....like that sounds like I'd be a zoo for fun, so people could poke at me, and make me cry on purpose.


I think most likely. Why not give it a try for a week and see what responses you get? Maybe it could be good, I personally think it won't be received well. Most pax probably do not realize there is anything wrong with you if you are rated 4.95.

I removed all "interesting facts" from my profile because it seems like everything I post there, no matter how innocuous, leads to resentment by certain paxholes. For the longest time I had it written in my profile that I was "from mars" but I got tired of paxholes lecturing me about not taking my job seriously.

But what do I know, my rating fluctuates between 4.89 and 4.90. I should be taking advice from you, not the other way around.


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## tohunt4me (Nov 23, 2015)

Trafficat said:


> I think most likely. Why not give it a try for a week and see what responses you get? Maybe it could be good, I personally think it won't be received well. Most pax probably do not realize there is anything wrong with you if you are rated 4.95.
> 
> I removed all "interesting facts" from my profile because it seems like everything I post there, no matter how innocuous, leads to resentment by certain paxholes. For the longest time I had it written in my profile that I was "from mars" but I got tired of paxholes lecturing me about not taking my job seriously.
> 
> But what do I know, my rating fluctuates between 4.89 and 4.90. I should be taking advice from you, not the other way around.


You got " Professionalism" marks for being from Mars ?

I got " Professionalism" for bragging about how Pizza was Better due to tips.
Also got more tips.

They should not ask
If they fault you for Honest Answers !


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## peteyvavs (Nov 18, 2015)

CStarzzSelect said:


> I don't drive anywhere but the airport arrivals. Folks are usually in the car with me for an hour.
> No uber here does the college crowd, because that crowd is known to try and get a free ride, so hey call uber and get us deactivated just to get their money back.


I've had college students when I drove and they were the worst pax's, the self absorbed little bastards would expect you to drive them through drive through McD and get pissed if you told them no. I wouldn't recommend driving anywhere near a college.


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## Wolfgang Faust (Aug 2, 2018)

Trafficat said:


> I'm not so good with social communication. A lot of people, one of my closest friends, and multiple pax have told me they think I might be "on the spectrum" but I don't know and I don't really care. I think it would upset people to tell them you think you have some disorder, and it might even scare them into thinking it is unsafe to ride with you. I think it is probably best to try and pretend as much as possible that you are normal. So you upset some people when you don't understand them, but what is your driver rating? As long as it is good enough maybe what you are doing right now is okay. I quite often do not find jokes funny. If I *think* a person is trying to make a joke, I try to make a chuckling noise.
> 
> The good thing with Uber is you don't have to see any of these passengers ever again. When I worked at hotels and casinos, for the most part I could just stay in one place so anyone coming to talk to me had to come to me. But at my last job I was a mechanic at a large factory. I loved the work, but I hated how you had to walk around the building and you would walk past coworkers. I liked these guys and gals who were my coworkers. At first I liked walking past them, I'd just wave and smile. But for some reason something changed. All of the sudden nobody was waving back or smiling back. Even people who I had talked to a lot in the past and thought of as friends and not just coworkers. It's like I had overdone it. I was afraid I was going to get sexual harassment complaints so I began to make wide paths to avoid walking near anyone I knew and avoid eye contact if I did walk near, which seemed to at least make people less bothered. Company meetings were terrible. We'd sit or stand waiting 15 minutes for the speaker to show up. Everyone was drinking coffee and talking to each other. What was I doing? I was struggling through 15 minutes of torture. I can't talk to them without bothering them. Do I stare at a fixed point? I'd do that and people wouldn't think I was bothering them but then people would ask me, disingenuously, if something is wrong. Do I pretend to fall asleep somewhere? That was my favorite choice, but only worked if I was sitting at a table.


Great post.
When in doubt, nod your head and grin.

Friend of mine has Asperger's.
Says totally inappropriate stuff in response to questions. Fascinating condition, he is also brilliant, a patented inventor- multimillionaire.

Nobody ever says anything because he is wealthy.


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## Cold Fusion (Aug 28, 2019)

Trafficat said:


> *A. it would upset people to tell them you think you have some disorder
> B. and it might even scare them into thinking it is unsafe to ride with you*


completely agree.

similar to telling your passenger
"_Have U ever wanted_ to _turn into oncoming traffic"








_


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## Dammit Mazzacane (Dec 31, 2015)

Do not tell passengers you have Asperger's.

I suggest not bringing this up at all to passengers. One reason is because some passengers will not know what Asperger's is, and because of this they may feel uncomfortable. It is socially uncomfortable for both driver and passenger to try to explain it. 

People assume many things about autism. Some associate autism with mental deficiencies.

If there is a social faux pas, possibly consider apologizing and saying you didn't pick up on the information. They may presume you lack common sense, but that comes with the territory.

If a passenger gets upset with you because of a social faux pas or mistake, you could inform them you have Asperger's to defuse the situation. Only do so if an error occurs, though.


----------



## Wolfgang Faust (Aug 2, 2018)

Dammit Mazzacane said:


> Do not tell passengers you have Asperger's.
> 
> I suggest not bringing this up at all to passengers. One reason is because some passengers will not know what Asperger's is, and because of this they may feel uncomfortable. It is socially uncomfortable for both driver and passenger to try to explain it.
> 
> ...


Yes.
Idiots may think it is a communicable disease.


----------



## Dammit Mazzacane (Dec 31, 2015)

Wolfgang Faust said:


> Saying you have bad hearing is better.


People with Asperger's generally are terrible liars. Suggest not suggesting the driver to concoct a lie.

The mindset is a very linear, very literal mindset. Disorder causes distress.

Jim Parsons' character Sheldon Cooper might represent someone with Asperger's. Or Moss from IT Crowd.



CStarzzSelect said:


> View attachment 401396
> 
> How does this sound? Does it sound right? Not mean? Welcoming? Just informative?


Good idea. Recommend copyedit: I have Aspergers. This is when you can't see ............ things you say may be misinterpreted to someone....... hard time expressing ......


----------



## Boca Ratman (Jun 6, 2018)

CStarzzSelect said:


> Knowing people in this area they will start yelling, and ppl with Aspergers are sensitive to load noises. Sometimes i jump when its quiet and they start talking loud out of the blue.
> 
> 
> You are brilliant!
> ...


Excellent. Please let is know how it works for you .


----------



## Irish (Nov 27, 2019)




----------



## percy_ardmore (Jun 4, 2019)

CStarzzSelect said:


> Knowing people in this area they will start yelling, and ppl with Aspergers are sensitive to load noises. Sometimes i jump when its quiet and they start talking loud out of the blue.
> 
> 
> You are brilliant!
> ...


I think 'other experience' is meant to convey what other things have you done in your life, not describe a medical condition. I would not say anything like you suggest.


----------



## South Shore Driver (Jan 17, 2017)

As a rule I just shut up and drive. When the conversations start, the passenger asks how long you've been driving for Uber and there's a script for that. This takes care of 99 percent of the trips.


----------



## zephyr43 (Apr 13, 2019)

I'm pretty sure blind people arent tour guides in the Grand Canyon and dead people dont lead the tours of the Country Music Hall of Fame. Instead of guilting people into accommodating your disability you should get a job where you dont deal with people.


----------



## Mista T (Aug 16, 2017)

Since the occasional pax issue does provide anxiety, I would suggest making up a speech to use when you feel insecure. Something very simple, with a few key bullet points. Maybe like this:

"Just so you guys know, I have Aspergers. So, if I dont get a joke or understand something sarcastic, please dont be offended. Also, loud noises are very bothersome. Thank you for understanding." and then follow it immediately with a completely unrelated question, which will allow them to continue communication with it being too awkward.

I wouldn't tell anyone unless the ride was going to be longer than, say, 10 minutes (or whatever you can tolerate). Also, I wouldn't tell anyone who doesn't appear to be mature.


----------



## waldowainthrop (Oct 25, 2019)

zephyr43 said:


> I'm pretty sure blind people arent tour guides in the Grand Canyon and dead people dont lead the tours of the Country Music Hall of Fame. Instead of guilting people into accommodating your disability you should get a job where you dont deal with people.


Aspergers isn't a disqualifier for driving people around. Have any ageist or sexist stuff to go along with the ableism? I can take it.


----------



## zephyr43 (Apr 13, 2019)

waldowainthrop said:


> Aspergers isn't a disqualifier for driving people around. Have any ageist or sexist stuff to go along with the ableism? I can take it.


Being afraid of guns isn't a disqualifier for joining the army either. Just dont expect the army to accommodate your fear of guns. Or better yet, dont join the army. Too many people broadcasting their "victim of this or that" status and expecting society to adjust to them rather than requiring them to adjust to reality. I, for one, refuse to be whatever the political correctness of the day requires me to be. Get Over. It.


----------



## Mkang14 (Jun 29, 2019)

zephyr43 said:


> I'm pretty sure blind people arent tour guides in the Grand Canyon and dead people dont lead the tours of the Country Music Hall of Fame. Instead of guilting people into accommodating your disability you should get a job where you dont deal with people.


Being around people will help his social skills and this goes for anyone else who may have issues in that area.

Basically saying hide from people is the worst advice.


----------



## nonononodrivethru (Mar 25, 2019)

CStarzzSelect said:


> How do I let people know that I have Aspergers without scaring them?
> Sometimes pax make jokes I font understand, and they get upset when I don't laugh thinking I'm being rude. When they through sarcasm my way I never see it coming, so I answer them and they get upset. I can't tell the difference between someone who is being serious and someone who is joking. Should I make a sign for the back seat that states that I have Aspergers and what it is? It gets frustrating after a few rides and I became stressed out easily.


You shouldn't be doing rideshare. Truly.



Mkang14 said:


> Being around people will help his social skills and this goes for anyone else who may have issues in that area.
> 
> Basically saying hide from people is the worst advice.


The dangers of addressing these "social skills problems" in a moving vehicle with drunk passengers with a rideshare app running and navigation running is lost on you, I see.


----------



## O-Side Uber (Jul 26, 2017)

CStarzzSelect said:


> How do I let people know that I have Aspergers without scaring them?
> Sometimes pax make jokes I font understand, and they get upset when I don't laugh thinking I'm being rude. When they through sarcasm my way I never see it coming, so I answer them and they get upset. I can't tell the difference between someone who is being serious and someone who is joking. Should I make a sign for the back seat that states that I have Aspergers and what it is? It gets frustrating after a few rides and I became stressed out easily.


Hand them a note that explains it like Joaquin Phoenix did in the Joker movie &#127871;


----------



## nonononodrivethru (Mar 25, 2019)

waldowainthrop said:


> Aspergers isn't a disqualifier for driving people around. Have any ageist or sexist stuff to go along with the ableism? I can take it.


I think you missed the able part in cap-able.


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## Mkang14 (Jun 29, 2019)

nonononodrivethru said:


> The dangers of addressing these "social skills problems" in a moving vehicle with drunk passengers with a rideshare app running and navigation running is last on you, I see.


Just stop. &#129318;‍♀

You wrote out a example to purposefully make anything look dangerous &#129318;‍♀. My turn.....

"The dangers of addressing these "*alien abductions*" in a moving vehicle with drunk passengers with a rideshare app running and navigation running is lost on you, I see."


----------



## nonononodrivethru (Mar 25, 2019)

CStarzzSelect said:


> I don't drive anywhere but the airport arrivals. Folks are usually in the car with me for an hour.
> No uber here does the college crowd, because that crowd is known to try and get a free ride, so hey call uber and get us deactivated just to get their money back.


I've read through everything you have posted. You don't have Asperger's, dude. You're just anti-social.

I know it's cool to be "aspy" these days, but, even if a doctor diagnosed you, I wouldn't believe you have Asperger's. I've dealt with a number of people with Asperger's, many on a painful, hyper-intelligent level. They would resent you for trivializing their condition.



Trafficat said:


> I'm not so good with social communication. A lot of people, one of my closest friends, and multiple pax have told me they think I might be "on the spectrum" but I don't know and I don't really care. I think it would upset people to tell them you think you have some disorder, and it might even scare them into thinking it is unsafe to ride with you. I think it is probably best to try and pretend as much as possible that you are normal. So you upset some people when you don't understand them, but what is your driver rating? As long as it is good enough maybe what you are doing right now is okay. I quite often do not find jokes funny. If I *think* a person is trying to make a joke, I try to make a chuckling noise.
> 
> The good thing with Uber is you don't have to see any of these passengers ever again. When I worked at hotels and casinos, for the most part I could just stay in one place so anyone coming to talk to me had to come to me. But at my last job I was a mechanic at a large factory. I loved the work, but I hated how you had to walk around the building and you would walk past coworkers. I liked these guys and gals who were my coworkers. At first I liked walking past them, I'd just wave and smile. But for some reason something changed. All of the sudden nobody was waving back or smiling back. Even people who I had talked to a lot in the past and thought of as friends and not just coworkers. It's like I had overdone it. I was afraid I was going to get sexual harassment complaints so I began to make wide paths to avoid walking near anyone I knew and avoid eye contact if I did walk near, which seemed to at least make people less bothered. Company meetings were terrible. We'd sit or stand waiting 15 minutes for the speaker to show up. Everyone was drinking coffee and talking to each other. What was I doing? I was struggling through 15 minutes of torture. I can't talk to them without bothering them. Do I stare at a fixed point? I'd do that and people wouldn't think I was bothering them but then people would ask me, disingenuously, if something is wrong. Do I pretend to fall asleep somewhere? That was my favorite choice, but only worked if I was sitting at a table.


This rings truer to people with difficult cases of Asperger's, especially with the unaware overcompensation of extreme friendliness in the workplace. It's a constant rollercoaster of fearing the pack mentality from a combination of inability to read social queues or an extreme disdain of social queues.

We live in a strange time where it is fashionable to have certain psychological diagnosis. People who truly suffer from these conditions wouldn't even dream of driving rideshare. If they were highly functioning, they would keep it to themselves or play music on their headphones and not give two shits.



Mkang14 said:


> Just stop. &#129318;‍♀
> 
> You wrote out a example to purposefully make anything look dangerous &#129318;‍♀. My turn.....
> 
> "The dangers of addressing these "*alien abductions*" in a moving vehicle with drunk passengers with a rideshare app running and navigation running is lost on you, I see."


I've read through all of his posts. He has inflated his social anxiety into Asperger's. Probably because it's cool on Reddit.


----------



## waldowainthrop (Oct 25, 2019)

zephyr43 said:


> I, for one, refuse to be whatever the *political correctness* of the day requires me to be. Get Over. It.


I don't believe in being politically correct. If someone has an excellent driving record (3000+ rides, 4.95 rating) and expresses about the same amount of frustration that any other member of this forum does, people telling them to quit driving because of some social discomfort they express is frankly ridiculous.

I don't give a shit about political correctness. I do care about having a community that wants to gatekeep or give uninformed advice over literally nothing.



nonononodrivethru said:


> I've read through all of his posts. He has inflated his social anxiety into Asperger's. Probably because it's cool on Reddit.


This is the most uncharitable read of this thread. Social anxiety is tied to autism (and depression and a ton of other things that drivers routinely complain about on this forum). Social anxiety is fair game for someone to have issues with in this or any other job. It is up to them whether that keeps them from continuing with doing the work or switching to something less stressful.

I have told a lot of people on this forum to quit the gig if they don't like it and I stand by that. Someone who is obviously successful at it has no reason to quit just because some critics have some cognitive biases about mental health.


----------



## MiamiUberGuy5 (Feb 20, 2019)

Boca Ratman said:


> Excellent. Please let is know how it works for you .


Why would it work? Do you believe more than even 5% of pax read our profile? Lol


----------



## nonononodrivethru (Mar 25, 2019)

waldowainthrop said:


> I don't believe in being politically correct. If someone has an excellent driving record (3000+ rides, 4.95 rating) and expresses about the same amount of frustration that any other member of this forum does, people telling them to quit driving because of some social discomfort they express is frankly ridiculous.
> 
> I don't give a shit about political correctness. I do care about having a community that wants to gatekeep or give uninformed advice over literally nothing.
> 
> ...


The majority of those who truly live in the "spectrum" are ridiculously content keeping these things to ourselves.


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## waldowainthrop (Oct 25, 2019)

nonononodrivethru said:


> The majority of those who truly live in the "spectrum" are ridiculously content keeping these things to ourselves.


If only drive-by critics were so "ridiculously content". I don't know why you have such an axe to grind about this issue but you are way off base. Whatever criticisms you have about diagnosing autism (which you can start your own thread about if you like), this thread is otherwise run-of-the-mill "help me figure out the gig" status checking just like a thousand other threads.

Your response and a couple of others are exactly why I and a few others said "don't let the first thing you bring up about yourself involve a disclaimer about autism". You have nothing helpful to add to the thread because you decided to turn it into your own socially unaware take on autism.


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## nonononodrivethru (Mar 25, 2019)

waldowainthrop said:


> If only drive-by critics were so "ridiculously content". I don't know why you have such an axe to grind about this issue but you are way off base. Whatever criticisms you have about diagnosing autism (which you can start your own thread about if you like), this thread is otherwise run-of-the-mill "help me figure out the gig" status checking just like a thousand other threads.
> 
> Your response and a couple of others are exactly why I and a few others said "don't let the first thing you bring up about yourself involve a disclaimer about autism". You have nothing helpful to add to the thread because you decided to turn it into your own socially unaware take on autism.


If you only knew.

The ironic part is that autism is "socially unaware" as a hallmark.

However, many people mistake indifference as unawareness.

You are a 2D line attempting to explain my own 4D world to me. That's what's most entertaining.


----------



## hooj (Aug 18, 2018)

zephyr43 said:


> I'm pretty sure blind people arent tour guides in the Grand Canyon and dead people dont lead the tours of the Country Music Hall of Fame. Instead of guilting people into accommodating your disability you should get a job where you dont deal with people.


These comparisons are embarrassing.


----------



## Blatherskite (Nov 30, 2016)

hooj said:


> These comparisons are embarrassing.


That, and I am tempted to dispute the claim about the music docents.


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## Boca Ratman (Jun 6, 2018)

MiamiUberGuy5 said:


> Why would it work? Do you believe more than even 5% of pax read our profile? Lol


No, in fact I think less than 5%.

I'm still curious as to how those people react.


----------



## waldowainthrop (Oct 25, 2019)

nonononodrivethru said:


> If you only knew.
> 
> *The ironic part is that autism is "socially unaware" as a hallmark.*
> 
> ...


It's not ironic. Give me some credit. If you are autistic or something similar as you alluded to, it is still not fair to treat this guy's story as you have, or to impugn almost anyone else who is autistic who happens to read the thread.

And I happen to know something personally about social anxiety so it's not correct to dismiss that out of hand either.


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## Woohaa (Jan 15, 2017)

Many students at Caltech have that disorder.


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## Mkang14 (Jun 29, 2019)

nonononodrivethru said:


> However, many people mistake indifference as unawareness.
> 
> You are a 2D line attempting to explain my own 4D world to me. That's what's most entertaining.


People are unaware. I have a moderately autistic daughter and I've had my own family tell me they're worried about her future because shes "******ed". They weren't trying to be rude, they are really clueless. So I took the time to explain autism as a whole and specifically my daughter. I promise you she is extremely smart and now they know &#128129;‍♀


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## nonononodrivethru (Mar 25, 2019)

Mkang14 said:


> People are unaware. I have a moderately autistic daughter and I've had my own family tell me they're worried about her future because shes "@@@@@@ed". They weren't trying to be rude, they are really clueless. So I took the time to explain autism as a whole and specifically my daughter. I promise you she is extremely smart and now they know &#128129;‍♀


You misunderstand my perspective. I meant that people on the spectrum are more indifferent rather than unaware. More marching to the beat of their own drum.


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## KK2929 (Feb 9, 2017)

CStarzzSelect said:


> How do I let people know that I have Aspergers without scaring them?
> Sometimes pax make jokes I font understand, and they get upset when I don't laugh thinking I'm being rude. When they through sarcasm my way I never see it coming, so I answer them and they get upset. I can't tell the difference between someone who is being serious and someone who is joking. Should I make a sign for the back seat that states that I have Aspergers and what it is? It gets frustrating after a few rides and I became stressed out easily.


------------------------
Absolutely not --- NO SIGN ----- none of their business and very few will understand what having that condition means.
I do not listen to their conversation, so for me not to laugh or smile at the appropriate moment is not that big a deal. 
Maybe keep the conversation to a minimum. Your job is to drive them safely to their destination -- not to entertain them. 
You can tell the difference of them talking to each other or talking to you. If what they say is funny, they will laugh or smile. You just smile, don't say anything. Change the subject to something local. People are easily distracted, especially if you talk about them. Listen to them and talk as little as possible. JMO


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## PoorAssUberDriver (Jan 12, 2020)

CStarzzSelect said:


> How do I let people know that I have Aspergers without scaring them?
> Sometimes pax make jokes I font understand, and they get upset when I don't laugh thinking I'm being rude. When they through sarcasm my way I never see it coming, so I answer them and they get upset. I can't tell the difference between someone who is being serious and someone who is joking. Should I make a sign for the back seat that states that I have Aspergers and what it is? It gets frustrating after a few rides and I became stressed out easily.


Just tell them you're German then no one will expect you to laugh or understand their jokes.


----------



## KK2929 (Feb 9, 2017)

CStarzzSelect said:


> but I'm not Deaf.


---------------
Do not do anything that you are not comfortable with. Just keep the conversation to a minimum unless they ask you a question and then keep your response short.



CStarzzSelect said:


> I only work the airport, usually rides from the airport are an hour long.


-----------------------
In my experience, airport pax have been fighting airport harassment all day. They are tired and just want to get home. Talking is not wanted or necessary.



CStarzzSelect said:


> See how you feel right now, this is why I need to let them know. I'm very literal, and it frustrates people.


---------------------------
LOL -- You dealt with UbersGruber perfectly. &#128077; You have a different type of humor. Nothing wrong with that. 
You do not want to be deceptive - absolutely nothing wrong with that. And , NO, you do not have to let them know. You are taking this too seriously. If you talk to the pax little, there is less chance that you will offend them. Silence is golden.



CStarzzSelect said:


> Knowing people in this area they will start yelling, and ppl with Aspergers are sensitive to load noises. Sometimes i jump when its quiet and they start talking loud out of the blue.
> 
> 
> You are brilliant!
> ...


--------------------------------
Nope, I do not like it. You are with these people for less then an hour. None of their business. Few people read the profile info anyway, meaning that you will accomplish nothing. 
If you play your favorite music or C.D while driving, it will help to lessen the startle reaction when someone speaks to you.


----------



## Wildgoose (Feb 11, 2019)

CStarzzSelect said:


> View attachment 401396


 Can't you pretend like you were an immigrant that doesn't understand English very well? Try speak broken language as possible. It might work. As for me, I don't understand some jokes since I am an immigrant and it won't bother them. You just need to wear more smiles than I do.


----------



## John M Santana (Jan 7, 2018)

MasterAbsher said:


> Wow, are you really that stupid?


As someone who's worked in the field providing services for people with intellectual and developmental disabilities (over 15 years, plus a BA in Psychology), @Mkang14 is right on-target. Dude, don't be insensitive and dismissive (and you're obviously not the only one coming off as less-than-mature in their responses here). But, rather, use this post to learn something new! It would surprise most folks how many people are, to some degree or other, on the Autism Spectrum. Many of those on the spectrum are dismissed as "weird," "unsociable," "rude," etc., when those labels couldn't be further from the truth. Their wiring is different, they're more sensitive to certain stimuli, and have great, awkward, and frustrating times, missing and misinterpreting the verbal intonations, facial gestures and body language that others not on the spectrum understand as other tools in the regimen of human communication


----------



## MiamiUberGuy5 (Feb 20, 2019)

Boca Ratman said:


> No, in fact I think less than 5%.
> 
> I'm still curious as to how those people react.


They won't. And even if they do it's pointless because no one reads the bio, hence the issue goes unresolved.


----------



## SuzeCB (Oct 30, 2016)

Why does everyone assume people with Autism are incapable of lying or being sneaky? My high-functioning-but-far-from-Aspergers son lies, or tries to be sneaky.

He's not GREAT at it, but if it's something that doesn't require a great deal of explaining, he's almost passable. (Not to me, but that's a different story -- I'm Mama!) He's also a flagrant flirt and absolute charmer when he wants to be.

@CStarzzSelect , your health and neurological wiring is your business, not the pax's. It shouldn't be fodder for their momentary amusement. If it's not affecting your rating, my advise is to just keep it moving the exact same way. You're doing just fine.

If you want to engage in Awareness, get some informational pamphlets and hand them out to pax that participate in Autism or Special Olympic or other similar events in your area, if you're driving them around.

You're a human being, and are due the basic human respect that *should* be afforded to everyone with that status. You're not a monkey at the zoo, for everyone to gawk at and try to provoke certain behaviors.



MasterAbsher said:


> Wow, are you really that stupid?


So maybe drivers should also share details of their latest physical? Eye exam? How about the latest breakthrough at the psychologist's office?

People's health is their own business. Not something they should feel obligated to tell perfect strangers.


----------



## CStarzzSelect (Jul 20, 2017)

PoorAssUberDriver said:


> Just tell them you're German then no one will expect you to laugh or understand their jokes.


ok so I feel like this would never work. Hispanic looking guy with Carlos as a name that kinda sounds like he just got off the raft from cuba because he lived in Miami to long.


----------



## Wolfgang Faust (Aug 2, 2018)

CStarzzSelect said:


> ok so I feel like this would never work. Hispanic looking guy with Carlos as a name that kinda sounds like he just got off the raft from cuba because he lived in Miami to long.


Brazilian, speaking Portuguese?


----------



## CStarzzSelect (Jul 20, 2017)

I've read all the posts.
Here is my take, I should keep it to myself since it's no ones business. Next time someone gets upset because I don't understand them completely I should just stay quiet, because silence is golden.
Since this is now solved, what do I do when they get so upset at me, that they wrap their hands around my throat and try to choke me. This has happened twice, and had them arrested. I'd like to avoid these outcomes and is why I wanted to tell people about it, before they got in to my car. You see I don't just have Aspergers, I was incredibly sheltered, had Christian tv growing up, I'm a pastor kid, and when people talk about the world, idk things. Basic things, like artists, movies, types of music sometimes. About 10% of my rides become odd, and ppl are frustrated by the time they leave.
I saw someone post about Calltech up there, leave Sheldon Cooper alone! He related to him so much, I'm very intelligent, I have a Associates in Arts and I do graphic design on the side. I love talking about technology, cars, travel, Disney parks, local fun facts, but this is very limited, and all I know about. This is where the problem comes in. Idk about things of the world.
I read all posts, I drive Uber 12-14 hours a day at our airport but I will reply. Thank you.



Wolfgang Faust said:


> Brazilian, speaking Portuguese?


&#129318;&#127995;‍♂ This would make it so frustrating. Plus I would be lying. I hate to lie or do something wrong. I even read the Uber community guidelines every time the update it.


----------



## Wolfgang Faust (Aug 2, 2018)

CStarzzSelect said:


> I've read all the posts.
> Here is my take, I should keep it to myself since it's no ones business. Next time someone gets upset because I don't understand them completely I should just stay quiet, because silence is golden.
> Since this is now solved, what do I do when they get so upset at me, that they wrap their hands around my throat and try to choke me. This has happened twice, and had them arrested. I'd like to avoid these outcomes and is why I wanted to tell people about it, before they got in to my car. You see I don't just have Aspergers, I was incredibly sheltered, had Christian tv growing up, I'm a pastor kid, and when people talk about the world, idk things. Basic things, like artists, movies, types of music sometimes. About 10% of my rides become odd, and ppl are frustrated by the time they leave.
> I saw someone post about Calltech up there, leave Sheldon Cooper alone! He related to him so much, I'm very intelligent, I have a Associates in Arts and I do graphic design on the side. I love talking about technology, cars, travel, Disney parks, local fun facts, but this is very limited, and all I know about. This is where the problem comes in. Idk about things of the world.
> ...


You are your own best counsel. 
Great decision


----------



## SuzeCB (Oct 30, 2016)

CStarzzSelect said:


> I've read all the posts.
> Here is my take, I should keep it to myself since it's no ones business. Next time someone gets upset because I don't understand them completely I should just stay quiet, because silence is golden.
> Since this is now solved, what do I do when they get so upset at me, that they wrap their hands around my throat and try to choke me. This has happened twice, and had them arrested. I'd like to avoid these outcomes and is why I wanted to tell people about it, before they got in to my car. You see I don't just have Aspergers, I was incredibly sheltered, had Christian tv growing up, I'm a pastor kid, and when people talk about the world, idk things. Basic things, like artists, movies, types of music sometimes. About 10% of my rides become odd, and ppl are frustrated by the time they leave.
> I saw someone post about Calltech up there, leave Sheldon Cooper alone! He related to him so much, I'm very intelligent, I have a Associates in Arts and I do graphic design on the side. I love talking about technology, cars, travel, Disney parks, local fun facts, but this is very limited, and all I know about. This is where the problem comes in. Idk about things of the world.
> ...


Unfortunately, switching to telling them vs. not telling them is an art, not a science. It relies heavily on intuition and "feels", abilities you admit are diminished in you.

Have you had Social Skills Therapy? You don't have to answer. (None of my business! LOL) If not, talk to your neurologist or primary doctor the next time you go, and ask if they know of any adult group that might help you with recognizing other people's emotions, jokes, sarcasm, etc.

It helped my son tremendously. He still doesn't always get it, but he'll sometimes ask, "Is that sarcasm?" or, "You're joking, right?" when he's not sure.

The simple fact of the matter is that people with Autism are "wired" differently. As an autism mom, I've become quite skilled at recognizing people who have it (and I'm no professional). The people that attacked you were vicious, nasty individuals. It's not on you that they did what they did. They just saw you as being a bit different, and figured you were as good a mark as any for them to get their own frustrations out on. Some people are just horrible.

I'm sorry you suffered this.


----------



## Funky Monkey (Jul 11, 2016)

CStarzzSelect said:


> See how you feel right now, this is why I need to let them know. I'm very literal, and it frustrates people.


So is my mom, and quite a few women (very literal). And the funny ones are almost always gay. I take it's probably the guys you're having trouble with. It sucks but way to put yourself out there! That takes more courage than most of us have. @Uber's Guber idea sounds like a good one within the confines of what you have to work with in the app


----------



## nonononodrivethru (Mar 25, 2019)

CStarzzSelect said:


> I've read all the posts.
> Here is my take, I should keep it to myself since it's no ones business. Next time someone gets upset because I don't understand them completely I should just stay quiet, because silence is golden.
> Since this is now solved, what do I do when they get so upset at me, that they wrap their hands around my throat and try to choke me. This has happened twice, and had them arrested. I'd like to avoid these outcomes and is why I wanted to tell people about it, before they got in to my car. You see I don't just have Aspergers, I was incredibly sheltered, had Christian tv growing up, I'm a pastor kid, and when people talk about the world, idk things. Basic things, like artists, movies, types of music sometimes. About 10% of my rides become odd, and ppl are frustrated by the time they leave.
> I saw someone post about Calltech up there, leave Sheldon Cooper alone! He related to him so much, I'm very intelligent, I have a Associates in Arts and I do graphic design on the side. I love talking about technology, cars, travel, Disney parks, local fun facts, but this is very limited, and all I know about. This is where the problem comes in. Idk about things of the world.
> ...


It sounds to me more like you are a victim of child abuse and socially awkward. I repeat, ride-sharing is truly not the job for you. If you're already experiencing physical confrontation because of this, it's simply increases the already hazardous occupation that rideshare already is. People misunderstand each other. That is life. Please understand that people also feel vulnerable as they put their lives in your hands. If a driver becomes socially awkward or doesn't respond to questions this can alarm many passengers.

I recommend that you stick to the graphic design aspect and perhaps learn to code. Many web designers would appreciate your gentle disposition.


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## LetsGoUber (Aug 7, 2017)

nonononodrivethru said:


> It sounds to me more like you are a victim of child abuse and socially awkward. I repeat, ride-sharing is truly not the job for you. If you're already experiencing physical confrontation because of this, it's simply increases the already hazardous occupation that rideshare already is. People misunderstand each other. That is life. Please understand that people also feel vulnerable as they put their lives in your hands. If a driver becomes socially awkward or doesn't respond to questions this can alarm many passengers.
> 
> I recommend that you stick to the graphic design aspect and perhaps learn to code. Many web designers would appreciate your gentle disposition.


This is just really bad advice or whatever you want to call it. Damn, dude... you're so quick to dish it out. Did you even catch the part about the driver's rating being a 4.95?

I can tell you, the OP is doing way better with ride share than you're doing with your reaction to Aspergers
.


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## Fuzzyelvis (Dec 7, 2014)

CStarzzSelect said:


> but I'm not Deaf.


I'm not either and I don't have Aspergers but I am an introvert and when I simply can't deal with another pax asking "What's your craziest story?" etc. etc. ad nauseum, I tell the app I'm deaf. Works a charm.



CStarzzSelect said:


> See how you feel right now, this is why I need to let them know. I'm very literal, and it frustrates people.


You're not being literal AT ALL. He explained why you'd put in the app you're deaf and you responded with the length of the trip. How is that relevant?

You seem to be deliberately not reading EXACTLY what is written, which is the opposite of being literal.



Mkang14 said:


> Maybe this is a chance for him to teach people about it.
> 
> He shouldnt be ashamed of having a higher then average IQ &#128521;


Where did he say he has a higher than average IQ? Did I miss that post?


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## The Gift of Fish (Mar 17, 2017)

AnointedOne said:


> Just to give you an idea, 95% of my paxs start the conversation like so how long have you been driving for uber? How many trips have you done so far? and I am thinking dude it clearly says on my profile how long I have been driving and how many trips I have done so far -o:.


Just print out a FAQ sheet and tape it to the back of your seat.

FAQ

Q: Is it busy tonight?
A: Yes, it is busy tonight

Q: Have you made lots of money tonight?
A: Yes, thank you

Q: How long have you been driving?

etc etc


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## Fuzzyelvis (Dec 7, 2014)

CStarzzSelect said:


> I've read all the posts.
> Here is my take, I should keep it to myself since it's no ones business. Next time someone gets upset because I don't understand them completely I should just stay quiet, because silence is golden.
> Since this is now solved, what do I do when they get so upset at me, that they wrap their hands around my throat and try to choke me. This has happened twice, and had them arrested. I'd like to avoid these outcomes and is why I wanted to tell people about it, before they got in to my car. You see I don't just have Aspergers, I was incredibly sheltered, had Christian tv growing up, I'm a pastor kid, and when people talk about the world, idk things. Basic things, like artists, movies, types of music sometimes. About 10% of my rides become odd, and ppl are frustrated by the time they leave.
> I saw someone post about Calltech up there, leave Sheldon Cooper alone! He related to him so much, I'm very intelligent, I have a Associates in Arts and I do graphic design on the side. I love talking about technology, cars, travel, Disney parks, local fun facts, but this is very limited, and all I know about. This is where the problem comes in. Idk about things of the world.
> ...


I lie to pax all the time. If they think I should care about something they say (don't laugh at their stupid joke for instance) and they say something I just tell them "Sorry, was concentrating on driving. I didn't realize you were talking to me."


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## Mkang14 (Jun 29, 2019)

Fuzzyelvis said:


> Where did he say he has a higher than average IQ? Did I miss that post?


You missed it &#129335;‍♀. Dont worry happens. Have a great night. &#128515;&#128077;


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## nonononodrivethru (Mar 25, 2019)

LetsGoUber said:


> This is just really bad advice or whatever you want to call it. Damn, dude... you're so quick to dish it out. Did you even catch the part about the driver's rating being a 4.95?
> 
> I can tell you, the OP is doing way better with ride share than you're doing with your reaction to Aspergers
> .


I hover between 4.95 and 4.98.


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## Fuzzyelvis (Dec 7, 2014)

Mkang14 said:


> You missed it &#129335;‍♀. Dont worry happens. Have a great night. &#128515;&#128077;


I just searched the thread for IQ. Don't see it.


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## nonononodrivethru (Mar 25, 2019)

Regardless, I'm looking at this from a pragmatic point of view. It looks like he hasn't given a ton of rides, based on his badges. To have been assaulted by somebody choking you not only once but twice tells me that there's definitely something going on with this guy to where he shouldn't be doing rideshare. Eventually, these negative experiences are going to catch up with him in a very bad way. I know for one that if I had a driver who didn't know how to respond to difficult situations quickly and leaned on some notion of being mentally disabled to justify his erratic or untimely behavior, I would want out of the car.

I really can't imagine any airport rides resulting in somebody wanting to strangle the driver unless the driver has done something to incredibly put the passenger in distress.

I don't recommend rideshare for most people. I don't recommend that women drive after dark. I definitely do not recommend rideshare driving for people with extreme cases of sensitivity.



Fuzzyelvis said:


> I just searched the thread for IQ. Don't see it.


He never said it. she simply assumed that everybody with Asperger's has a high level of intelligence, which is not the case.

He did mention it after she brought it up, but not before.


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## CStarzzSelect (Jul 20, 2017)

Funky Monkey said:


> So is my mom, and quite a few women (very literal). And the funny ones are almost always gay. I take it's probably the guys you're having trouble with. It sucks but way to put yourself out there! That takes more courage than most of us have. @Uber's Guber idea sounds like a good one within the confines of what you have to work with in the app


Funny. I'm &#127752; too.


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## waldowainthrop (Oct 25, 2019)

CStarzzSelect said:


> Funny. I'm &#127752; too.


❤&#127987;️‍&#127752;


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## Mkang14 (Jun 29, 2019)

Fuzzyelvis said:


> I just searched the thread for IQ. Don't see it.


Search harder. Its there. Between that one dudes post and that girls. I think more in the beginning or maybe towards the end. &#128515;&#128077;


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## Dammit Mazzacane (Dec 31, 2015)

nonononodrivethru said:


> It sounds to me more like you are a victim of child abuse ---


Disagree with introducing this idea into the conversation. That's jumping to a far-fetched conclusion.


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## nonononodrivethru (Mar 25, 2019)

Dammit Mazzacane said:


> Disagree with introducing this idea into the conversation. That's jumping to a far-fetched conclusion.


Not very far fetched at all.


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## Dammit Mazzacane (Dec 31, 2015)

Awkward, sheltered, pastor's kid = child abuse victim ? .... c'mon.... I can't agree with that conclusion having merit unless it's proven or revealed.

To me you're saying it means either sheltered kids are child abuse victims, or pastor's kids are child abuse victims, or some sort of entanglement between the two.

I'd be a lot more loose if you added some wiggle room, like "maybe" he was a child abuse victim.


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## nonononodrivethru (Mar 25, 2019)

Dammit Mazzacane said:


> Awkward, sheltered, pastor's kid = child abuse victim ? .... c'mon.... I can't agree with that conclusion having merit unless it's proven or revealed.


Child abuse victims internalize a lot of things. They often become arrested in the age mentality emotionally related to the age(s) that the abuse happened. Emotional disorders are common byproducts of these negative experiences.

Mind you, I brought this up before he even mentioned his sexual orientation, but that simply adds a further wrinkle and increases the probability.

Did Michael Jackson have Asperger's? No. Did he have emotional instability? Yes.

This forum isn't really the time or place, but the overlap with a lot of these things has really answered all of my questions for me.

I sympathize with, OP. But I do not recommend rideshare driving before some intense counseling. Rideshare has made fully stable people fed up, exhausted, and sad. It is not for delicate people.


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## CStarzzSelect (Jul 20, 2017)

Guys I was never sexually abused as a child.
I've been doing UBER for 3 years, I'm just tired of having awkward moments. Lol.
You guys have taken this way out there, I just wanted to know if I should tell me pax, and if so, how. Lol.
I'm not emotionally unstable. Lol. I'm quite a happy person. Always feeling blessed. 
Thank you to those who stood up for me, I'm very appreciative. ❤&#129505;&#128155;&#128154;&#128153;&#128156;

Also for all of you who said I can't do my job! i think I do my job quite well.


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## nonononodrivethru (Mar 25, 2019)

CStarzzSelect said:


> Guys I was never sexually abused as a child.
> I've been doing UBER for 3 years, I'm just tired of having awkward moments. Lol.
> You guys have taken this way out there, I just wanted to know if I should tell me pax, and if so, how. Lol.
> I'm not emotionally unstable. Lol. I'm quite a happy person. Always feeling blessed.
> ...


Then just do your job and stop portraying yourself as a victim or impersonating someone with Asperger's.

You're gay and socially awkward. Sorry there isn't some kind of special ribbon for you to present to all of your passengers to announce to them everything about your personal life when they just want to get to their destination.

Enjoy your Disney life.


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## Mr. Yuck (Jul 31, 2017)

Some people waste lots of the finite time they have left...


nonononodrivethru said:


> Then just do your job and stop portraying yourself as a victim or impersonating someone with Asperger's.
> 
> You're gay and socially awkward. Sorry there isn't some kind of special ribbon for you to present to all of your passengers to announce to them everything about your personal life when they just want to get to their destination.
> 
> Enjoy your Disney life.


...misunderstanding other people's intent.


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## CStarzzSelect (Jul 20, 2017)

nonononodrivethru said:


> Then just do your job and stop portraying yourself as a victim or impersonating someone with Asperger's.
> 
> You're gay and socially awkward. Sorry there isn't some kind of special ribbon for you to present to all of your passengers to announce to them everything about your personal life when they just want to get to their destination.
> 
> Enjoy your Disney life.


I am not inpersonating anyone, I am myself, I do have Aspergers, and I believe it's terrible how are you dismiss me just like that. Like you know everything about me. Well you don't, so don't dust me off like this isn't important to me. It very much is important to me, I'm the one that has to deal with it daily. It's not something I can turn on and off, it's not a choice. I just wanted to know about a sign. I wasn't asking if people thought I was abused, or if I was slow, or if I was incapable of doing my job. I was looking for help from people like me, that could probably give me feedback. There was no reason to bring me down, or mistreat me. &#128532;


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## waldowainthrop (Oct 25, 2019)

Story time about people, in particular passengers and all of us who make assumptions, while not understanding the full picture about where one is coming from. 

I have been lucky in my life to have a stable, committed relationship with one person for many years. It’s an amazing relationship that has made both of us so happy. We can’t imagine being with anyone else and we are family. An Uber passenger asked how long I’ve been married and I hesitated answering for a moment (the pivotal moment) because we have technically been legally married for a significantly shorter time than we practically committed to each other for life. “Married” for life for 11 years, legally married for 3. And I don’t use the term “wife” but rather “partner” which throws more socially conservative people off since they assume I am gay (I’m not) or non-committal (very far from it).

From that moment on, the conversation became an interrogation about just how bad the relationship is, and why I moved across the country with this person who is bad for me, and how much happier I will be if I divorce. He wouldn’t let it go, and since he was my passenger I was a bit reluctant to say “start over there, buddy, you misunderstood” because he was absolutely convinced of his assertions, and I knew the ride would be over soon. He was pretty pissed off before the ride, and appeared to be depressive and in need of someone to talk to, so I just shut up and collected my tip. He was a divorced cynic who had a partner who really messed up his life, and thought he had run into someone who was also a victim of women and bad decisions, but he based it on one thing I said.

What’s my point? We get each other wrong all the time. In a brief anonymous context like Uber or an internet forum, we hear a certain detail about a person and we form a picture that may or may not be accurate. If one says “I’m an immigrant” or “I’m autistic” or “I’m not straight” or “I’m 60 years old”, we all assume we understand the implications of these things whether we really do or not. Even with further context (“I’m 60 years old, a veteran, and married for 38 years with two kids”) we are still missing so much information about where people are really coming from.


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## percy_ardmore (Jun 4, 2019)

waldowainthrop said:


> A note about signs. Some people find signs to be passive aggressive and impersonal, especially when the message is strong or if it is too wordy.
> 
> View attachment 401479
> 
> ...


What if pax gets in front?


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## waldowainthrop (Oct 25, 2019)

percy_ardmore said:


> What if pax gets in front?


What like that driver's tipping sign? I bet he has one up there too, stapled to the dash.

I have never driven with a sign before. I used spoken words and didn't disclaim anything. It went pretty well.


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## BillC (Mar 5, 2017)

CStarzzSelect said:


> Guys I was never sexually abused as a child.
> I've been doing UBER for 3 years, I'm just tired of having awkward moments. Lol.
> You guys have taken this way out there, I just wanted to know if I should tell me pax, and if so, how. Lol.
> I'm not emotionally unstable. Lol. I'm quite a happy person. Always feeling blessed.
> ...


I still think your screenshot of your "interesting fact about me" was a good idea. As the father of a high-functioning autistic son and as a good friend of someone who also has Aspergers, I totally get what you're saying and experiencing. Your driver and acceptance ratings are also both higher than mine. You got this.


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## Trafficat (Dec 19, 2016)

waldowainthrop said:


> like Uber or an internet forum, we hear a certain detail about a person and we form a picture that may or may not be accurate. If one says "I'm an immigrant" or "I'm autistic" or "I'm not straight" or "I'm 60 years old", we all assume we understand the implications of these things whether we really do or not. Even with further context ("I'm 60 years old, a veteran, and married for 38 years with two kids") we are still missing so much information about where people are really coming from.


I personally don't like labels because of the pigeonhole effect, not to mention the presumed assumptions. It is human nature to label and categorize things, but it is often cruel and unfair when used to categorize people.

Some people want to be labeled so they can find a group to fit into. My problem is I have some eccentricities but I fit in horribly with most people with the same eccentricities.

For instance, I am a gun enthusiast. People therefore assume I'm a bible thumping xenophobe. And unfortunately I don't fit into a lot of gun groups because there are so many bible thumping xenophobes.


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## SuzeCB (Oct 30, 2016)

CStarzzSelect said:


> I am not inpersonating anyone, I am myself, I do have Aspergers, and I believe it's terrible how are you dismiss me just like that. Like you know everything about me. Well you don't, so don't dust me off like this isn't important to me. It very much is important to me, I'm the one that has to deal with it daily. It's not something I can turn on and off, it's not a choice. I just wanted to know about a sign. I wasn't asking if people thought I was abused, or if I was slow, or if I was incapable of doing my job. I was looking for help from people like me, that could probably give me feedback. There was no reason to bring me down, or mistreat me. &#128532;


The post you're responding to here is exactly what I was talking about.

Not everyone is going to like you, no matter how likable you are in general. It's just a fact of life. Some people will sense your condition on some level, and it will make them uncomfortable. That's THEIR problem, but they will believe it's yours.

It's not fair.

It sucks.

It is is a fact of life.

Others will be uncomfortable because of your name, skin color, height, gender, or whatever. Not everything in life makes sense or is fair, even for people NOT on the spectrum.


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## Johnny Mnemonic (Sep 24, 2019)

It's twice as funny when you realize that this will completely go over OP's head.










For the record though, I totally respect OP for working a job and dealing with a disability as best he can. So many people use the slightest excuse to go on the dole and get special treatment or a parking placard for having Carpal Tunnel or something. Hope he keeps striving and can eventually get a better job than driving Uber.


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## Willwilldriveyouinsane (Jun 25, 2019)

Johnny Mnemonic said:


> It's twice as funny when you realize that this will completely go over OP's head.
> 
> View attachment 402676


Not cool... But being not cool doesn't mean not funny. &#129315;&#129315;&#129315;

I have a brother with Asperger's. It doesn't make you not able to understand jokes cold turkey.


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## nonononodrivethru (Mar 25, 2019)

People judge fat people. People judge pretty people. People judge tall people. People judge short people. People judge smart people. People judge stupid people. People judge black people. People judge white people. People judge baby boomers. People judge millennials.

It's f****** life. Nobody gets a ribbon. Nobody's f****** special.

If you don't have thick skin, you absolutely should not be a rideshare driver.


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## CStarzzSelect (Jul 20, 2017)

Johnny Mnemonic said:


> It's twice as funny when you realize that this will completely go over OP's head.
> 
> View attachment 402676
> 
> ...


You're right. I didn't get the picture. What does it mean?


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## Trafficat (Dec 19, 2016)

CStarzzSelect said:


> You're right. I didn't get the picture. What does it mean?


aspergers is phonetically similar to arse burgers.


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## CStarzzSelect (Jul 20, 2017)

Trafficat said:


> aspergers is phonetically similar to arse burgers.


Thats pretty funny. I see it now.


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## Musky (May 7, 2018)

CStarzzSelect said:


> Knowing people in this area they will start yelling, and ppl with Aspergers are sensitive to load noises. Sometimes i jump when its quiet and they start talking loud out of the blue.
> 
> 
> You are brilliant!
> ...


I actually think it is a great idea and think you did a really good job. I would probably start with the fact that this is something you want to share with them. I would also let them know that there is no need for them to worry about your driving. In addition, I would include something about your sensitivity to noise so they do not get startled if you do. Here is how I might word it:

*I wanted to share with you that I have Asperger's. While it does not affect my ability to drive you safely to your destination, it can affect my social interactions. For instance, I may not get a joke or I may take something you say literally. And sometimes I have a hard time finding the right words to say. People with Asperger's are also more sensitive to loud noises. I want to thank you for being understanding and hope you enjoy the ride!*

Again, I think what you wrote is absolutely fine but I just wanted to offer my suggestion as it addresses some of the areas that you said were frustrating.

I have a son who is on the autism spectrum (PDD-NOS) and he has shown me that anything is possible. He drives, goes to school full time and works. He knows that he has to work harder and he does. In fact, he will be completing his Associate's Degree soon and plans on learning how to code.

You are also doing great and just from your interactions in this post, it is clear that you are fully aware of how Asperger's impacts you and are working hard to minimize those instances in your daily life.

I hope this helps.


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## UberLaLa (Sep 6, 2015)

There is another driver on here that has something similar to Aspergers, maybe actually Aspergers, I do not recall. It's in his screen name, however. He might have some insights. Can anyone recall the member I am thinking of?


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## LADryver (Jun 6, 2017)

CStarzzSelect said:


> I only work the airport, usually rides from the airport are an hour long.


If you feel you absolutely must have conversations that you begin knowing that you lose a lot in "translation", then no amount of explaining to someone else will help you. If you can remain silent on all of your rides, that is not only an easy solution but may get you the best ratings. People assume you understand them or agree with them. You are only required to get them to their destinstination safely and comfortably. You are not required to provide social interaction. If you ask unnecessary questions you are inviting sarcasm that you know you may not be amused by. Just introduce youself by name, say nice to meet you, get their luggage well situated, check their comfort, and the beauty is, that is what most want. Chatty people may come up. Just listen. If they ask you a question just say you dont know.



Musky said:


> I actually think it is a great idea and think you did a really good job. I would probably start with the fact that this is something you want to share with them. I would also let them know that there is no need for them to worry about your driving. In addition, I would include something about your sensitivity to noise so they do not get startled if you do. Here is how I might word it:
> 
> *I wanted to share with you that I have Asperger's. While it does not affect my ability to drive you safely to your destination, it can affect my social interactions. For instance, I may not get a joke or I may take something you say literally. And sometimes I have a hard time finding the right words to say. People with Asperger's are also more sensitive to loud noises. I want to thank you for being understanding and hope you enjoy the ride!*
> 
> ...


Way to get the most 1 stars before deactivation. If you have to say dont worry, you walk into 1 star.


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## rkozy (Apr 5, 2019)

GreatWhiteHope said:


> Put it in your profile like the interesting things about you ?


My experience is that most passengers don't bother to read the driver profiles. A few might, but 85% don't.


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## GreatWhiteHope (Sep 18, 2018)

rkozy said:


> My experience is that most passengers don't bother to read the driver profiles. A few might, but 85% don't.


youre right

There's no solutions might as well do nothing


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