# Top 10 signs you need to stop being an Uber driver



## Uber Crack

Top 10 signs you need to STOP BEING AN UBER DRIVER... 

10. You stop accepting every ping you get, or canceling the ride if its "too far" for your whiney little butt to drive to. 
9. You stop keeping your car perfectly clean, looking at it and saying, "eh, it can go another day before washing". 
8. You start eating and drinking excessively whilst online to cope with your depression of having whiney Pax who don't rate you 5 stars when it's not even your fault! 
7. You no longer bother to hold your farts in or brush your hair/teeth. 
6. You start making up bullshit stories to tell Pax, like when you were shot in 'Nam, because you're tired of telling them the same story about your life. 
5. You go from wearing nice clothes, to eh these are clean, to clothes off your floor and no undies because well who has time for laundry? Ubering is exhausting man! 
4. You start creeping Pax out for fun, like the huge eyeball mirror stare, telling them you haven't slept for 32 hours solid, you have two prosthetic limbs that sometimes act up.... 
3. You start engaging in risky behavior, going into known gang 'hoods playing your rap CD loudly throwing white chick gang signs, with "blow me" written with your finger on your dusty back window. 
2. You start believing the Pax like you. Huge red flag. They don't, they're drunk. You're NOT the best driver they have ever had. Also they don't think you're hot. Only your mom thinks that. 
1. The number one reason to stop being an uber driver... You have to use coins to put gas in enough to get one ride so you can cash out and put gas in for your next ride so you can cash out to get Mc Donald's!


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## Johnydoo

The story of 99% of uber drivers. You forgot the most important sign:

11: Sleeping in your car! Heck it is not even your car, aka xchange leasing.


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## Cableguynoe

Damn. That's 10 solid reasons for me to quit ubering including johnydoo's

I say only 10 because the first one you listed I did even as a rookie that loved this gig. 
Nice try Lilcindy


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## Mars Troll Number 4

number 10 is just simple common knowledge.

The truth is going 30+ for a ping is pure insanity.

going 15+ is bad

going 10+ is ill advised


This is something THEY TOLD US NOT TO DO at the cab company.

the truth is the customer probably will get PICKED UP FASTER waiting for a closer driver.


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## Uber Crack

Mears Troll Number 4 said:


> number 10 is just simple common knowledge.
> 
> The truth is going 30+ for a ping is pure insanity.
> 
> going 15+ is bad
> 
> going 10+ is ill advised
> 
> This is something THEY TOLD US NOT TO DO at the cab company.
> 
> the truth is the customer probably will get PICKED UP FASTER waiting for a closer driver.


I accept all rides. If I don't want to, I complete my last ride and turn off the app.


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## Cableguynoe

Uber Crack said:


> I accept all rides. If I don't want to, I complete my last ride and turn off the app.


Thank you for taking one for the team


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## Trafficat

Uber Crack said:


> I accept all rides. If I don't want to, I complete my last ride and turn off the app.


You can literally lose money on some pings if you estimate your vehicle costs at 20-30 cents a mile


Johnydoo said:


> You forgot the most important sign:
> 
> 11: Sleeping in your car! Heck it is not even your car, aka xchange leasing.


Hey it is MY car. Not a lease!


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## Uber Crack

Trafficat... You don't lose money if you do your taxes right. Also some areas of urban sprawl you have no choice but to accept long distance pick ups or you won't get any rides at all. Sacramento CA is like that. 3 million people with about 6 cities in a Metroplex. You can drive downtown but those rides are $3. Maybe you work in a different area, not sure.



Cableguynoe said:


> Thank you for taking one for the team


Not sure if that's sarcasm or not hahaha


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## Lowestformofwit

Trafficat said:


> Hey it is MY car. Not a lease!


Nice.
Nothing beats the feeling of sleeping in "your own bed".
"Home at last"!


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## Mars Troll Number 4

Uber Crack said:


> Trafficat... You don't lose money if you do your taxes right. Also some areas of urban sprawl you have no choice but to accept long distance pick ups or you won't get any rides at all. Sacramento CA is like that. 3 million people with about 6 cities in a Metroplex. You can drive downtown but those rides are $3. Maybe you work in a different area, not sure.
> 
> Not sure if that's sarcasm or not hahaha





Uber Crack said:


> I accept all rides. If I don't want to, I complete my last ride and turn off the app.


So you would accept 45 minute + pings when your in an area you know if you wait 10 minutes you'll get one?


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## Uber Crack

Mears Troll Number 4 said:


> So you would accept 45 minute + pings when your in an area you know if you wait 10 minutes you'll get one?


I've never had a ping more than 25 minutes and yes I did take it. Sometimes pings for me can be 15 to 20 ... It's the times that I'm available to work. I just deal with it and accept them.


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## Rakos

Uber Crack said:


> Top 10 signs you need to STOP BEING AN UBER DRIVER...
> 
> 10. You stop accepting every ping you get, or canceling the ride if its "too far" for your whiney little butt to drive to.
> 9. You stop keeping your car perfectly clean, looking at it and saying, "eh, it can go another day before washing".
> 8. You start eating and drinking excessively whilst online to cope with your depression of having whiney Pax who don't rate you 5 stars when it's not even your fault!
> 7. You no longer bother to hold your farts in or brush your hair/teeth.
> 6. You start making up bullshit stories to tell Pax, like when you were shot in 'Nam, because you're tired of telling them the same story about your life.
> 5. You go from wearing nice clothes, to eh these are clean, to clothes off your floor and no undies because well who has time for laundry? Ubering is exhausting man!
> 4. You start creeping Pax out for fun, like the huge eyeball mirror stare, telling them you haven't slept for 32 hours solid, you have two prosthetic limbs that sometimes act up....
> 3. You start engaging in risky behavior, going into known gang 'hoods playing your rap CD loudly throwing white chick gang signs, with "blow me" written with your finger on your dusty back window.
> 2. You start believing the Pax like you. Huge red flag. They don't, they're drunk. You're NOT the best driver they have ever had. Also they don't think you're hot. Only your mom thinks that.
> 1. The number one reason to stop being an uber driver... You have to use coins to put gas in enough to get one ride so you can cash out and put gas in for your next ride so you can cash out to get Mc Donald's!


Ok...now that you've described...

What it's like to be married...

How about the reasoning of some...

That they just Uber to get out of the house...

And give their spouse some space...8O

Does anyone REALLY do that?...

You better believe it....8)

Rakos


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## Uber Crack

Omg we are twins


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## Tr4vis Ka1anick

Uber Crack said:


> 7. You no longer bother to hold your farts in or brush your hair/teeth.


What if you brush your farts and hold your hair and teeth?

I can tell when my farts are relatively benign. Depending on my diet I can gauge the bouquet potency.

Besides, holding them in can be a safety issue.

For example behold the church house creeper.


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## Drivincrazy

In heavy traffic, I don't accept 8 minute pings, if ever.


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## dirtylee

10: we do this for profit, GTFO if you aren't
9: raise rates. 
8: idgaf about ratings anymore
7: lack of tips & surge will do this
6: not everyone can be a unique snowflake
5: conserving water
4: adding a little spice to their dull little lives 
3: nope
2: they do like me, the uber driver, who else would drive their ass at these rates
1: damn if you aren't 100% on that one.


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## Spotscat

Is driving around while whistling the theme song from "M*A*S*H" a good reason to stop being an Uber driver?


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## Cableguynoe

Spotscat said:


> Is driving around while whistling the theme song from "M*A*S*H" a good reason to stop being an Uber driver?


No. But if you ever start whistling "it's a small world", then you know it's time to walk away.


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## Rakos

Cableguynoe said:


> No. But if you ever start whistling "it's a small world", then you know it's time to walk away.


OR...

You been to Uncle Donald's...

One too many times...8)

Rakos


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## Uber Crack

Or playing Lynyrd Skynyrd, "that smell" when a smelly Pax gets in and not giving a single shit! 


Spotscat said:


> Is driving around while whistling the theme song from "M*A*S*H" a good reason to stop being an Uber driver?


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## ABC123DEF

Rakos said:


> Ok...now that you've described...
> 
> What it's like to be married...
> 
> How about the reasoning of some...
> 
> That they just Uber to get out of the house...
> 
> And give their spouse some space...8O
> 
> Does anyone REALLY do that?...
> 
> You better believe it....8)
> 
> Rakos


Can't these people that just want to get out of the house take a hour walk around the neighborhood? Why risk life, limb, and property when it's not necessary?


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## Lowestformofwit

ABC123DEF said:


> Can't these people that just want to get out of the house take a hour walk around the neighborhood?


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## Tihstae

Uber Crack said:


> Or playing Lynyrd Skynyrd, "that smell" when a smelly Pax gets in and not giving a single shit!


Hell, I'd give two shits. It might improve the aroma of some pax.


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## Uber Crack

Lowestformofwit said:


>


Hahahahahaha


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## Uber Crack

ABC123DEF said:


> Can't these people that just want to get out of the house take a hour walk around the neighborhood? Why risk life, limb, and property when it's not necessary?





ABC123DEF said:


> Can't these people that just want to get out of the house take a hour walk around the neighborhood? Why risk life, limb, and property when it's not necessary?


But, I like risking life, limb and property. It's more exciting than walking. Who walks these days?


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## kdyrpr

Uber Crack said:


> Top 10 signs you need to STOP BEING AN UBER DRIVER...
> 
> 10. You stop accepting every ping you get, or canceling the ride if its "too far" for your whiney little butt to drive to.
> 9. You stop keeping your car perfectly clean, looking at it and saying, "eh, it can go another day before washing".
> 8. You start eating and drinking excessively whilst online to cope with your depression of having whiney Pax who don't rate you 5 stars when it's not even your fault!
> 7. You no longer bother to hold your farts in or brush your hair/teeth.
> 6. You start making up bullshit stories to tell Pax, like when you were shot in 'Nam, because you're tired of telling them the same story about your life.
> 5. You go from wearing nice clothes, to eh these are clean, to clothes off your floor and no undies because well who has time for laundry? Ubering is exhausting man!
> 4. You start creeping Pax out for fun, like the huge eyeball mirror stare, telling them you haven't slept for 32 hours solid, you have two prosthetic limbs that sometimes act up....
> 3. You start engaging in risky behavior, going into known gang 'hoods playing your rap CD loudly throwing white chick gang signs, with "blow me" written with your finger on your dusty back window.
> 2. You start believing the Pax like you. Huge red flag. They don't, they're drunk. You're NOT the best driver they have ever had. Also they don't think you're hot. Only your mom thinks that.
> 1. The number one reason to stop being an uber driver... You have to use coins to put gas in enough to get one ride so you can cash out and put gas in for your next ride so you can cash out to get Mc Donald's!


Dave Letterman show ended too early....


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## Lowestformofwit

kdyrpr said:


> Dave Letterman show ended too early....


OR:
James Corden show started too early.
As in: why did it start at all?


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## Another Uber Driver

1. Look at Orginal Poster's ID.

2. Look at Original Poster's avatar.

3. Read Original Post and subsequent posts by same poster.

4. Make the deduction that Numbers One, Two and Three demand.

Thank you and have a nice day.


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## Mole

But I was shot in Vietnam.


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## ABC123DEF

Uber Crack said:


> But, I like risking life, limb and property. It's more exciting than walking. Who walks these days?


People walk, run, bike where I live all the time. You must live under a rock.


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## Uber Crack

ABC123DEF said:


> People walk, run, bike where I live all the time. You must live under a rock.


No need to take this app so seriously bro. It's a community to have some fun.


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## ABC123DEF

Uber Crack said:


> No need to take this app so seriously bro. It's a community to have some fun.


Um...OK? WEEEEEE!!!!


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## Uber Crack

ABC123DEF said:


> Um...OK? WEEEEEE!!!!


Much better


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## Uberingdude

Uber Crack said:


> Top 10 signs you need to STOP BEING AN UBER DRIVER...
> 
> 10. You stop accepting every ping you get, or canceling the ride if its "too far" for your whiney little butt to drive to.
> 9. You stop keeping your car perfectly clean, looking at it and saying, "eh, it can go another day before washing".
> 8. You start eating and drinking excessively whilst online to cope with your depression of having whiney Pax who don't rate you 5 stars when it's not even your fault!
> 7. You no longer bother to hold your farts in or brush your hair/teeth.
> 6. You start making up bullshit stories to tell Pax, like when you were shot in 'Nam, because you're tired of telling them the same story about your life.
> 5. You go from wearing nice clothes, to eh these are clean, to clothes off your floor and no undies because well who has time for laundry? Ubering is exhausting man!
> 4. You start creeping Pax out for fun, like the huge eyeball mirror stare, telling them you haven't slept for 32 hours solid, you have two prosthetic limbs that sometimes act up....
> 3. You start engaging in risky behavior, going into known gang 'hoods playing your rap CD loudly throwing white chick gang signs, with "blow me" written with your finger on your dusty back window.
> 2. You start believing the Pax like you. Huge red flag. They don't, they're drunk. You're NOT the best driver they have ever had. Also they don't think you're hot. Only your mom thinks that.
> 1. The number one reason to stop being an uber driver... You have to use coins to put gas in enough to get one ride so you can cash out and put gas in for your next ride so you can cash out to get Mc Donald's!


Hey, I don't whine. If it's over 10 minutes I ignore with a smile!


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## Uber Crack

Whatever blows your hair back


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## GT500KR

Uber Crack said:


> Top 10 signs you need to STOP BEING AN UBER DRIVER...
> 
> 10. You stop accepting every ping you get, or canceling the ride if its "too far" for your whiney little butt to drive to.
> 9. You stop keeping your car perfectly clean, looking at it and saying, "eh, it can go another day before washing".
> 8. You start eating and drinking excessively whilst online to cope with your depression of having whiney Pax who don't rate you 5 stars when it's not even your fault!
> 7. You no longer bother to hold your farts in or brush your hair/teeth.
> 6. You start making up bullshit stories to tell Pax, like when you were shot in 'Nam, because you're tired of telling them the same story about your life.
> 5. You go from wearing nice clothes, to eh these are clean, to clothes off your floor and no undies because well who has time for laundry? Ubering is exhausting man!
> 4. You start creeping Pax out for fun, like the huge eyeball mirror stare, telling them you haven't slept for 32 hours solid, you have two prosthetic limbs that sometimes act up....
> 3. You start engaging in risky behavior, going into known gang 'hoods playing your rap CD loudly throwing white chick gang signs, with "blow me" written with your finger on your dusty back window.
> 2. You start believing the Pax like you. Huge red flag. They don't, they're drunk. You're NOT the best driver they have ever had. Also they don't think you're hot. Only your mom thinks that.
> 1. The number one reason to stop being an uber driver... You have to use coins to put gas in enough to get one ride so you can cash out and put gas in for your next ride so you can cash out to get Mc Donald's!


You've done 3000 X rides at base rate and 2000 of them pail less than 6 Dollars/ No Tip!! You play Tool/Bush/ Beastie Boys loud whether they like it or not!



Tihstae said:


> Hell, I'd give two shits. It might improve the aroma of some pax.


You play "Insane in the Brain" when weird Pax are riding in car!



Mole said:


> But I was shot in Vietnam.


I shot Forrest Gump!. I used a captured A/K, so I didn't get caught!



Lowestformofwit said:


> OR:
> James Corden show started too early.
> As in: why did it start at all?


Nobody misses Jay Leno.

Sad/Uber was my Commanding officer in Nam, and lilCindy is my Ex Wife!


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## TNCMinWage

Mears Troll Number 4 said:


> number 10 is just simple common knowledge.
> 
> The truth is going 30+ for a ping is pure insanity.
> 
> going 15+ is bad
> 
> going 10+ is ill advised
> 
> This is something THEY TOLD US NOT TO DO at the cab company.
> 
> the truth is the customer probably will get PICKED UP FASTER waiting for a closer driver.


That all depends on where you drive. I'm out in the far suburbs so the majority of my rides are 8-15 minutes away. But, they tend to be longer rides and I get larger tips, so that makes up for it somewhat. I prefer to drive less but longer rides - that way I don't have 5x as many pax taking 5 minutes to get their butts in car or not sending me apartment complex gate codes or apt #s.


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## BlastedChango

shit, i can agree with all the points on the list, it's a good thing that i quit working this sunday


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## Cableguynoe

BlastedChango said:


> shit, i can agree with all the points on the list, it's a good thing that i quit working this sunday


you'll be back.
They always come back


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## Uber Crack

Cableguynoe said:


> you'll be back.
> They always come back


Lol  hence, my name haha


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## Uberk5487

Uber Crack said:


> Top 10 signs you need to STOP BEING AN UBER DRIVER...
> 
> 10. You stop accepting every ping you get, or canceling the ride if its "too far" for your whiney little butt to drive to.
> 9. You stop keeping your car perfectly clean, looking at it and saying, "eh, it can go another day before washing".
> 8. You start eating and drinking excessively whilst online to cope with your depression of having whiney Pax who don't rate you 5 stars when it's not even your fault!
> 7. You no longer bother to hold your farts in or brush your hair/teeth.
> 6. You start making up bullshit stories to tell Pax, like when you were shot in 'Nam, because you're tired of telling them the same story about your life.
> 5. You go from wearing nice clothes, to eh these are clean, to clothes off your floor and no undies because well who has time for laundry? Ubering is exhausting man!
> 4. You start creeping Pax out for fun, like the huge eyeball mirror stare, telling them you haven't slept for 32 hours solid, you have two prosthetic limbs that sometimes act up....
> 3. You start engaging in risky behavior, going into known gang 'hoods playing your rap CD loudly throwing white chick gang signs, with "blow me" written with your finger on your dusty back window.
> 2. You start believing the Pax like you. Huge red flag. They don't, they're drunk. You're NOT the best driver they have ever had. Also they don't think you're hot. Only your mom thinks that.
> 1. The number one reason to stop being an uber driver... You have to use coins to put gas in enough to get one ride so you can cash out and put gas in for your next ride so you can cash out to get Mc Donald's!


Lol...I gave up under ware 8 months ago and wash clothes.....you can work miracles with wet wipes.... And rubbing alcohol


Uber Crack said:


> Top 10 signs you need to STOP BEING AN UBER DRIVER...
> 
> 10. You stop accepting every ping you get, or canceling the ride if its "too far" for your whiney little butt to drive to.
> 9. You stop keeping your car perfectly clean, looking at it and saying, "eh, it can go another day before washing".
> 8. You start eating and drinking excessively whilst online to cope with your depression of having whiney Pax who don't rate you 5 stars when it's not even your fault!
> 7. You no longer bother to hold your farts in or brush your hair/teeth.
> 6. You start making up bullshit stories to tell Pax, like when you were shot in 'Nam, because you're tired of telling them the same story about your life.
> 5. You go from wearing nice clothes, to eh these are clean, to clothes off your floor and no undies because well who has time for laundry? Ubering is exhausting man!
> 4. You start creeping Pax out for fun, like the huge eyeball mirror stare, telling them you haven't slept for 32 hours solid, you have two prosthetic limbs that sometimes act up....
> 3. You start engaging in risky behavior, going into known gang 'hoods playing your rap CD loudly throwing white chick gang signs, with "blow me" written with your finger on your dusty back window.
> 2. You start believing the Pax like you. Huge red flag. They don't, they're drunk. You're NOT the best driver they have ever had. Also they don't think you're hot. Only your mom thinks that.
> 1. The number one reason to stop being an uber driver... You have to use coins to put gas in enough to get one ride so you can cash out and put gas in for your next ride so you can cash out to get Mc Donald's!


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## elelegido

11. You ride deny your kids and report them to Uber for being under 18

12. After dropping your wife off you find yourself reaching for your phone to onestar her for talking too much during the ride.


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## Uber Crack

elelegido said:


> 11. You ride deny your kids and report them to Uber for being under 18


I really should start doing this


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## tohunt4me

Uber Crack said:


> I accept all rides. If I don't want to, I complete my last ride and turn off the app.


Good for you.
Now other people will RUN THEIR BUSINESS THE WAY THEY SEE FIT AS INDEPENDENT CONTRACTORS.

SERIOUSLY . . .WE PAY UBER ALL THIS MONEY TO PERFORM A SERVICE.

TO DISPATCH. NOT SEND US ON 30 MINUTE GOOSE CHASES !

Another Uber failure !
WHY CANT UBER JUST DO WHAT WE PAY THEM TO DO ?


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## Uber Crack

I forgot to add.... Your uber sticker starts looking like shit 
And you're no longer fussy about where you do a number 2.


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## tohunt4me

Cableguynoe said:


> Thank you for taking one for the team


She has no hands. . .just circles.



Uber Crack said:


> I forgot to add.... Your uber sticker starts looking like shit
> And you're no longer fussy about where you do a number 2.


What Uber sticker. Oh the one i finally had to go get after doing uber 1 1/2 years ? The one uber was supposed to mail to me in the uber " welcome" packet a few rate cuts ago ?
It is in brand new shape gathering dust at bottom of glove compartment.

It has seen light of day twice when i got pings a mile from airport for pickups.
It came out for 15 seconds to wave at security.
( the Lyft sticker never made it to the car, Uber is privileged)
The Lyft sticker is for standby income in the case that i am ever falsely unjustly accused by lying stinking pax and cut off from income for a week illegaly by uber while being " investigated" due to false accusations.
What a system huh ?
Lies can cost you but not the accuser.


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## Uber Crack

tohunt4me said:


> Good for you.
> Now other people will RUN THEIR BUSINESS THE WAY THEY SEE FIT AS INDEPENDENT CONTRACTORS.
> 
> SERIOUSLY . . .WE PAY UBER ALL THIS MONEY TO PERFORM A SERVICE.
> 
> TO DISPATCH. NOT SEND US ON 30 MINUTE GOOSE CHASES !
> 
> Another Uber failure !
> WHY CANT UBER JUST DO WHAT WE PAY THEM TO DO ?


Did you just go caps-locks on my ass? Bro!

1. Uber will rematch you with a closer rider if one comes available
2. Uber algorithm will give you something good to compensate for your loss later... You have to believe in the system! 
3. Sometimes you're the closest driver - do you think Uber is God or something? It is what it is... 
4. If you don't want a long pick up distance... Go to where it's busy or work during busy times! (I figured that out myself with no help!) 
5. No one has a gun to your head. Don't accept a trip if you don't want to... Just know this - they take data on your behavior - big UBER daddy is watching you. What you put in, you get out... Like Idk... Karma?


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## tohunt4me

Uberk5487 said:


> Lol...I have up under ware 8 months and wash clothes.....you can work miracles with wet wipes.... And rubbing alcohol
> 
> I gave up underwear 8 months ago... And wash clothes.... You can work miracles with wet wipes and Rubbing alcohol...


Just buy another pair of pants at salvation army for $2.00 in a few weeks.
Cheaper than Laundry.
Quicker too . . .



Uber Crack said:


> Did you just go caps-locks on my ass? Bro!
> 
> 1. Uber will rematch you with a closer rider if one comes available
> 2. Uber algorithm will give you something good to compensate for your loss later... You have to believe in the system!
> 3. Sometimes you're the closest driver - do you think Uber is God or something? It is what it is...
> 4. If you don't want a long pick up distance... Go to where it's busy or work during busy times! (I figured that out myself with no help!)
> 5. No one has a gun to your head. Don't accept a trip if you don't want to... Just know this - they take data on your behavior - big UBER daddy is watching you. What you put in, you get out... Like Idk... Karma?


You have NO HANDS!
Probably no Posterior also !

CAP LOCKS ALERT !!!****

If you have to drive 30 minutes to them
IT DAMN WELL SHOULD BE SURGE !
A BIG SURGE.
OTHERWISE, let them Rot !
( the city will scrape them from the sidewalk when they see the flies)


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## Uber Crack

tohunt4me said:


> She has no hands. . .just circles.
> 
> What Uber sticker. Oh the one i finally had to go get after doing uber 1 1/2 years ? The one uber was supposed to mail to me in the uber " welcome" packet a few rate cuts ago ?
> It is in brand new shape gathering dust at bottom of glove compartment.
> 
> It has seen light of day twice when i got pings a mile from airport for pickups.
> It came out for 15 seconds to wave at security.


I think you need uber counseling. Is there such a thing? That should be a thing. I'm going to suggest it to uber. Keep your sense of humor. 



tohunt4me said:


> Just buy another pair of pants at salvation army for $2.00 in a few weeks.
> Cheaper than Laundry.
> Quicker too . . .
> 
> You have NO HANDS!
> Probably no Posterior also !
> 
> CAP LOCKS ALERT !!!****
> 
> If you have to drive 30 minutes to them
> IT DAMN WELL SHOULD BE SURGE !
> A BIG SURGE.
> OTHERWISE, let them Rot !


I fee like I should bring you a cup of tea. You have low blood sugars


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## tohunt4me

Uber Crack said:


> I think you need uber counseling. Is there such a thing? That should be a thing. I'm going to suggest it to uber. Keep your sense of humor.
> 
> I fee like I should bring you a cup of tea. You have low blood sugars


How you going to carry it with circles instead of hands ?
What kind of stick figure are you ?


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## Uber Crack

tohunt4me said:


> Just buy another pair of pants at salvation army for $2.00 in a few weeks.
> Cheaper than Laundry.
> Quicker too . . .
> 
> You have NO HANDS!
> Probably no Posterior also !
> 
> CAP LOCKS ALERT !!!****
> 
> If you have to drive 30 minutes to them
> IT DAMN WELL SHOULD BE SURGE !
> A BIG SURGE.
> OTHERWISE, let them Rot !
> ( the city will scrape them from the sidewalk when they see the flies)


I have bandages on my hands from calluses from gripping the steering wheel.


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## tohunt4me

Uber counciling. . .type to an outscource in India . . .get cookie cutter reply rubber stamped RESOLVED .


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## Uber Crack

tohunt4me said:


> How you going to carry it with circles instead of hands ?
> What lind of stick figure are you ?


I was going to get uber eats to bring you a cup. Maybe an oatmeal raisin cookie too.


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## tohunt4me

Uber Crack said:


> I have bandages on my hands from calluses from gripping the steering wheel.


Well if you got 4 hours rest from driving every 24 hours, tissue could regenerate.

Lower Rates Mean Less Sleep !


----------



## Uber Crack

tohunt4me said:


> Uber counciling. . .type to an outscource in India . . .get cookie cutter reply rubber stamped RESOLVED .


There's s no UNLIKE button


----------



## tohunt4me

Uber Crack said:


> I was going to get uber eats to bring you a cup. Maybe an oatmeal raisin cookie too.


Better with Dates instead of raisins


----------



## tohunt4me

Spotscat said:


> Is driving around while whistling the theme song from "M*A*S*H" a good reason to stop being an Uber driver?


The theme song from the t.v. series M.A.S.H. was taken from the song Suicide Is Painless featured in M.A.S.H
Movie.
Sooooo . . .
Subliminally. . . .perhaps this is a subconscious warning of sorts regarding driving for Uber.

You should examine it further . . .

But
Marilyn Manson also likes this song
If that makes you feel any better.
( painless was the nickname of the M.A.S.H. dental surgeon who thought he suffered from latent homosexual tendencies due to performance issues that were actually stress related)

There may be more to this than you realize. The mind weaves intricate patterns.

My bill for $300.00 an hour plus research fees will be in your e mail tommorrow.
We can investigate this further if you have insurance.

Let me know if you would like any prescriptions.
My pharmacists in Canada, Mexico , and India will be more than happy to provide you with the latest generics at substantial savings with No sales tax.
( copies of post dated prescriptions from licensed nurse practitioner are available for extra fee upon request)


----------



## Strange Fruit

Uber Crack said:


> I've never had a ping more than 25 minutes and yes I did take it. Sometimes pings for me can be 15 to 20 ... It's the times that I'm available to work. I just deal with it and accept them.


Me too. I'd drive any distance for the privilege of driving some more and getting $3 at the end. So worth it.


----------



## tohunt4me

Strange Fruit said:


> Me too. I'd drive any distance for the privilege of driving some more and getting $3 at the end. So worth it.


We have a collar and a leash for you . . .
But first, you must cut the knees out of your pants before you crawl to accept it . . .
It will be as rewarding as Uber.

I promise . . . . .


----------



## BlastedChango

Cableguynoe said:


> you'll be back.
> They always come back


i hope that i can be free of this slavery


----------



## wb6vpm

elelegido said:


> 11. You ride deny your kids and report them to Uber for being under 18


I was eating when I read this, now I have to buy a new monitor!  LOL, j/k but that was funny!


----------



## Uber Crack

wb6vpm said:


> I was eating when I read this, now I have to buy a new monitor!  LOL, j/k but that was funny!


Your monitor?! Get this app on your phone!  for between rides


----------



## UberLaLa

Uber Crack said:


> There's s no UNLIKE button


There is no Uber counseling @ Uber.

But there is Uber driver counseling here @ UP. Give it a month or two (heck you been here just a couple minutes and already have a pretty bad case of _NLR_).

And yes, there is an _Unlike Button_.


----------



## Uber Crack

UberLaLa said:


> There is no Uber counseling @ Uber.
> 
> But there is Uber driver counseling here @ UP. Give it a month or two (heck you been here just a couple minutes and already have a pretty bad case of _NLR_).
> 
> And yes, there is an _Unlike Button_.
> 
> View attachment 145452


Hahaha  but seriously I don't have an unlike button!



tohunt4me said:


> Good for you.
> Now other people will RUN THEIR BUSINESS THE WAY THEY SEE FIT AS INDEPENDENT CONTRACTORS.
> 
> SERIOUSLY . . .WE PAY UBER ALL THIS MONEY TO PERFORM A SERVICE.
> 
> TO DISPATCH. NOT SEND US ON 30 MINUTE GOOSE CHASES !
> 
> Another Uber failure !
> WHY CANT UBER JUST DO WHAT WE PAY THEM TO DO ?


Here's an idea.... You do you. And I do me. 
Different areas and different times and different availability and different priorities are very real. 
Also honestly most of my posts are just for humor and entertainment. That's all.


----------



## tohunt4me

UberLaLa said:


> There is no Uber counseling @ Uber.
> 
> But there is Uber driver counseling here @ UP. Give it a month or two (heck you been here just a couple minutes and already have a pretty bad case of _NLR_).
> 
> And yes, there is an _Unlike Button_.
> 
> View attachment 145452


We can do Better than Uber consuling . . .
Stare at each of these images for a minute . . .
And repeat after me. . .
UBER IS LIFE

UBER LOVES YOU

UBER IS LOVE

THERE IS JOY IN SERVING PASSENGERS

UBER IS JOY

YOU NEED JOY

JOY IS YOU

You are the chosen

UBER IS PRIVILEGE

UBER IS LOVE

LOWER RATES MEAN MORE MONEY . . .


----------



## UberLaLa

Uber Crack said:


> Hahaha  but seriously I don't have an unlike button!
> 
> Here's an idea.... You do you. And I do me.
> Different areas and different times and different availability and different priorities are very real.
> Also honestly most of my posts are just for humor and entertainment. That's all.


----------



## uber fool

Uber Crack said:


> Top 10 signs you need to STOP BEING AN UBER DRIVER...
> 
> 10. You stop accepting every ping you get, or canceling the ride if its "too far" for your whiney little butt to drive to.
> 9. You stop keeping your car perfectly clean, looking at it and saying, "eh, it can go another day before washing".
> 8. You start eating and drinking excessively whilst online to cope with your depression of having whiney Pax who don't rate you 5 stars when it's not even your fault!
> 7. You no longer bother to hold your farts in or brush your hair/teeth.
> 6. You start making up bullshit stories to tell Pax, like when you were shot in 'Nam, because you're tired of telling them the same story about your life.
> 5. You go from wearing nice clothes, to eh these are clean, to clothes off your floor and no undies because well who has time for laundry? Ubering is exhausting man!
> 4. You start creeping Pax out for fun, like the huge eyeball mirror stare, telling them you haven't slept for 32 hours solid, you have two prosthetic limbs that sometimes act up....
> 3. You start engaging in risky behavior, going into known gang 'hoods playing your rap CD loudly throwing white chick gang signs, with "blow me" written with your finger on your dusty back window.
> 2. You start believing the Pax like you. Huge red flag. They don't, they're drunk. You're NOT the best driver they have ever had. Also they don't think you're hot. Only your mom thinks that.
> 1. The number one reason to stop being an uber driver... You have to use coins to put gas in enough to get one ride so you can cash out and put gas in for your next ride so you can cash out to get Mc Donald's!


Or your reading b.s threads from uneducated person with too much time on there hands and no life


----------



## Uber Crack

UberLaLa said:


> View attachment 145457


My version doesn't have the dislike feature. Maybe I have to be here a while to earn it? Not sure.


----------



## uber fool

Another Uber Driver said:


> 1. Look at Orginal Poster's ID.
> 
> 2. Look at Original Poster's avatar.
> 
> 3. Read Original Post and subsequent posts by same poster.
> 
> 4. Make the deduction that Numbers One, Two and Three demand.
> 
> Thank you and have a nice day.


Shill


----------



## Grahamcracker

Uber Crack said:


> Top 10 signs you need to STOP BEING AN UBER DRIVER...
> 
> 10. You stop accepting every ping you get, or canceling the ride if its "too far" for your whiney little butt to drive to.
> 9. You stop keeping your car perfectly clean, looking at it and saying, "eh, it can go another day before washing".
> 8. You start eating and drinking excessively whilst online to cope with your depression of having whiney Pax who don't rate you 5 stars when it's not even your fault!
> 7. You no longer bother to hold your farts in or brush your hair/teeth.
> 6. You start making up bullshit stories to tell Pax, like when you were shot in 'Nam, because you're tired of telling them the same story about your life.
> 5. You go from wearing nice clothes, to eh these are clean, to clothes off your floor and no undies because well who has time for laundry? Ubering is exhausting man!
> 4. You start creeping Pax out for fun, like the huge eyeball mirror stare, telling them you haven't slept for 32 hours solid, you have two prosthetic limbs that sometimes act up....
> 3. You start engaging in risky behavior, going into known gang 'hoods playing your rap CD loudly throwing white chick gang signs, with "blow me" written with your finger on your dusty back window.
> 2. You start believing the Pax like you. Huge red flag. They don't, they're drunk. You're NOT the best driver they have ever had. Also they don't think you're hot. Only your mom thinks that.
> 1. The number one reason to stop being an uber driver... You have to use coins to put gas in enough to get one ride so you can cash out and put gas in for your next ride so you can cash out to get Mc Donald's!


I agree with everything except 10. I do my taxes correctly and I still don't pick 10+ minutes away. Never have, never will.


----------



## Uber Crack

tohunt4me said:


> We can do Better than Uber consuling . . .
> Stare at each of these images for a minute . . .
> And repeat after me. . .
> UBER IS LIFE
> 
> UBER LOVES YOU
> 
> UBER IS LOVE
> 
> THERE IS JOY IN SERVING PASSENGERS
> 
> UBER IS JOY
> 
> YOU NEED JOY
> 
> JOY IS YOU
> 
> You are the chosen
> 
> UBER IS PRIVILEGE
> 
> UBER IS LOVE
> 
> LOWER RATES MEAN MORE MONEY . . .


Hahahaha  that's beautiful... Screenshots and frames to hang in my bathroom to look at when I'm doing a number 2.



Grahamcracker said:


> I agree with everything except 10. I do my taxes correctly and I still don't pick 10+ minutes away. Never have, never will.


Alright. That's cool for you.. Some of us live in different less congested areas and suffer from insanity. Don't judge haha


----------



## tohunt4me

Stare at the pictures in your bathroom while gently rubbing your eyelids.

This will help stimulate your Vargus nerve, the Longest nerve branch in the human body. It will aid in your retention of the UBER MANTRA.
The Vargus nerve extends from your eyelids to your anus.

To Master Uber, first one must Master ones self.
It will soothe and relax you alleviating all stress and negative vibrations.

( Try to listen to music tuned to 432Hz.)

This is your Uber improvement lesson for the day.

LIVE LONG AND UBER ON.


----------



## Nomad

Uber Crack said:


> Top 10 signs you need to STOP BEING AN UBER DRIVER...
> 
> 10. You stop accepting every ping you get, or canceling the ride if its "too far" for your whiney little butt to drive to.
> 9. You stop keeping your car perfectly clean, looking at it and saying, "eh, it can go another day before washing".
> 8. You start eating and drinking excessively whilst online to cope with your depression of having whiney Pax who don't rate you 5 stars when it's not even your fault!
> 7. You no longer bother to hold your farts in or brush your hair/teeth.
> 6. You start making up bullshit stories to tell Pax, like when you were shot in 'Nam, because you're tired of telling them the same story about your life.
> 5. You go from wearing nice clothes, to eh these are clean, to clothes off your floor and no undies because well who has time for laundry? Ubering is exhausting man!
> 4. You start creeping Pax out for fun, like the huge eyeball mirror stare, telling them you haven't slept for 32 hours solid, you have two prosthetic limbs that sometimes act up....
> 3. You start engaging in risky behavior, going into known gang 'hoods playing your rap CD loudly throwing white chick gang signs, with "blow me" written with your finger on your dusty back window.
> 2. You start believing the Pax like you. Huge red flag. They don't, they're drunk. You're NOT the best driver they have ever had. Also they don't think you're hot. Only your mom thinks that.
> 1. The number one reason to stop being an uber driver... You have to use coins to put gas in enough to get one ride so you can cash out and put gas in for your next ride so you can cash out to get Mc Donald's!


#'s 9 & 10 usually set in the first month, so technically you're not wrong in the idea that it's time to stop being an Uber driver within the first month. 

#5 - as an X driver, if you're wearing nice clothes, you're trying too hard

The rest of the list was enjoyable, though... good job *golf clap* 



Uber Crack said:


> Trafficat... You don't lose money if you do your taxes right.


Taxes have very little impact on a per ride basis and it is very easy to lose money on any given ride.



Uber Crack said:


> Did you just go caps-locks on my ass? Bro!


LOL... nice



Uber Crack said:


> 1. Uber will rematch you with a closer rider if one comes available
> 2. Uber algorithm will give you something good to compensate for your loss later... You have to believe in the system!
> 3. Sometimes you're the closest driver - do you think Uber is God or something? It is what it is...
> 4. If you don't want a long pick up distance... Go to where it's busy or work during busy times! (I figured that out myself with no help!)
> 5. No one has a gun to your head. Don't accept a trip if you don't want to... Just know this - they take data on your behavior - big UBER daddy is watching you. What you put in, you get out... Like Idk... Karma?


#1 - only if they can simultaneously match that original pax with a closer driver
#2 - Uber has never suggested this and they have no motivation to compensate drivers for earlier losses - in fact, I'm pretty sure they've spent millions in lawyer fees to avoid doing just that
#3 - Actually, I rarely am... but this is situational and probably varies a lot on market
#4 - That's where I am when I get those long-distance pings where I know I am not the closest driver
#5 - While I do believe "big Uber daddy" is watching, I don't believe that they are rewarding anyone for anything; however, they probably are designating drivers as "willing to drive 30+ minutes" and "calls & cancels frequently"



tohunt4me said:


> If you have to drive 30 minutes to them
> IT DAMN WELL SHOULD BE SURGE !
> A BIG SURGE.


^^^ This ^^^

Especially when that same request comes through three straight times. Clearly, demand is higher than supply. This is the main reason I don't "believe in the system."


----------



## UberLaLa

Uber Crack said:


> My version doesn't have the dislike feature. Maybe I have to be here a while to earn it? Not sure.


You have to Like something before you can 'Unlike' it, which is what you originally wrote. 'Dislike' that is a different story...


----------



## Uber Crack

tohunt4me said:


> Stare at the pictures in your bathroom while gently rubbing your eyelids.
> 
> This will help stimulate your Vargus nerve, the Longest nerve branch in the human body. It will aid in your retention of the UBER MANTRA.
> The Vargus nerve extends from your eyelids to your anus.
> 
> To Master Uber, first one must Master ones self.
> It will soothe and relax you alleviating all stress and negative vibrations.
> 
> ( Try to listen to music tuned to 432Hz.)
> 
> This is your Uber improvement lesson for the day.
> 
> LIVE LONG AND UBER ON.


You really have this down. You seem too smart to be an uber driver. Go and invent something or help stop terrorism.


----------



## UberLaLa

Uber Crack said:


> You really have this down. You seem too smart to be an uber driver. Go and invent something or help stop terrorism.


Boy ain't #1 this for nothing~


----------



## RipCityWezay

I accept all rides all the time. My wife seems to care more about actual rides than dollar amounts so meh, come one come all


----------



## tohunt4me

Uber Crack said:


> You really have this down. You seem too smart to be an uber driver. Go and invent something or help stop terrorism.


When you elevate the spiritual above the ego life is enjoyed for the journey and not a destination.
A destination, which in these times, may not even exist any longer by the time that you arrive.

Quit playing by the rules of others.
Your life.
Your rules.

FREE WILL.

Consult the 7 universal laws of Toth
Aka.Hermes Tresmegistis.

All of the teachings of science and medicine descend from this root.

" As above, so below.
As within, so without
As the Universe, so the Soul".

C.E.R.N. is busily breaking down the Apothocary codes proving the " Alpha & Omega"
The Universe is but a part of a Larger body. As above . . .

When you gaze into telescopes or microscope
NOTICE
the same patterns repeat.

Everything on this earth , can be manufactured from or dissolved into atoms floating in the air . . .



Uber Crack said:


> You really have this down. You seem too smart to be an uber driver. Go and invent something or help stop terrorism.


You must first realize WHO the Terrorists are.
The Global manipulators who claim Government OWNS the rain.
Those who wish to enslave and turn the Garden of Eden into a slum.
Those who wish to trick you into Assignment of your Creator given FREE WILL.
Man.
The ONLY animal that must Pay to live.


----------



## Uber Crack

tohunt4me said:


> When you elevate the spiritual above the ego life is enjoyed for the journey and not a destination.
> A destination, which in these times, may not even exist any longer by the time that you arrive.
> 
> Quit playing by the rules of others.
> Your life.
> Your rules.
> 
> FREE WILL.
> 
> Consult the 7 universal laws of Toth
> Aka.Hermes Tresmegistis.
> 
> All of the teachings of science and medicine descend from this root.
> 
> " As above, so below.
> As within, so without
> As the Universe, so the Soul".
> 
> C.E.R.N. is busily breaking down the Apothocary codes proving the " Alpha & Omega"
> The Universe is but a part of a Larger body. As above . . .
> 
> When you gaze into telescopes or microscope
> NOTICE
> the same patterns repeat.
> 
> Everything on this earth , can be manufactured from or dissolved into atoms floating in the air . . .


Wow. You must drive your Pax nuts.


----------



## tohunt4me

Uber Crack said:


> Wow. You must drive your Pax nuts.


There are many roads in life.
You should travel a while on each.
Can relate from the highest to the lowest.


----------



## New Member 0001365427

Uber Crack said:


> Top 10 signs you need to STOP BEING AN UBER DRIVER...
> 
> 10. You stop accepting every ping you get, or canceling the ride if its "too far" for your whiney little butt to drive to.
> 9. You stop keeping your car perfectly clean, looking at it and saying, "eh, it can go another day before washing".
> 8. You start eating and drinking excessively whilst online to cope with your depression of having whiney Pax who don't rate you 5 stars when it's not even your fault!
> 7. You no longer bother to hold your farts in or brush your hair/teeth.
> 6. You start making up bullshit stories to tell Pax, like when you were shot in 'Nam, because you're tired of telling them the same story about your life.
> 5. You go from wearing nice clothes, to eh these are clean, to clothes off your floor and no undies because well who has time for laundry? Ubering is exhausting man!
> 4. You start creeping Pax out for fun, like the huge eyeball mirror stare, telling them you haven't slept for 32 hours solid, you have two prosthetic limbs that sometimes act up....
> 3. You start engaging in risky behavior, going into known gang 'hoods playing your rap CD loudly throwing white chick gang signs, with "blow me" written with your finger on your dusty back window.
> 2. You start believing the Pax like you. Huge red flag. They don't, they're drunk. You're NOT the best driver they have ever had. Also they don't think you're hot. Only your mom thinks that.
> 1. The number one reason to stop being an uber driver... You have to use coins to put gas in enough to get one ride so you can cash out and put gas in for your next ride so you can cash out to get Mc Donald's!


Well I guess I'm still good to Uber on !


----------



## tohunt4me

Awareness needs to be elevated to certain issues in the world which can potentially affect the world as a whole.

A group of sheep in a pasture standing together is " Unification".

A group of sheep herded into a pen is lambs led to slaughter.

Even if they are told it is for " "Unification".

Some fail to see the difference.

There is still time to see.


----------



## Adieu

Uber Crack said:


> I accept all rides. If I don't want to, I complete my last ride and turn off the app.


I accept 2-10% of Lyft DF rides & "30-50%" of UberXL (but Im only EVER in for surge & I cancel ~25% of those and mess with another 50% or so)

...but I make $50 - 100 / uber ride depending on how bad the week. And $40-65 per Lyft ride.

Try completing less than 10% of pings and watch your income skyrocket.



Uber Crack said:


> You really have this down. You seem too smart to be an uber driver. Go and invent something or help stop terrorism.


Terrorism is good for business and great for politicians

Don't dare hope that anyone will EVER be *allowed* to entirely defeat something so...crucially useful... to our elites.

Inventions are AWFUL for the unemployment situation in the country.

...please please please refrain from ever inventing anything.


----------



## tohunt4me

You going to make me dig out the Dwight D. Eisenhower " Military Industrial Complex Speech" , the Maj.Gen. Smedly Butler U.S.M.C.
" War is a Racket " speech and the John F. Kennedy " Secret Societies " speech !

Then we could reach back in time to Globalist Bankers financing both sides during Napoleons Campaigns . . .

" If my sons wanted no wars, there would be no wars !"- Gutle Schnaper Rothschild.


----------



## TNCMinWage

#11: You keep a list of all pax names and addresses that have cancelled on you in your "hood". When they inevitably ping you for another ride in a few weeks, you cancel back on their a** after texting them how much of a disrespectful and rude person they were for canceling on you when you had driven 5 unpaid miles to get them.


----------



## tootsie

I stopped wearing a bra while Ubering a long time go.


----------



## WMUber

Uber Crack said:


> I accept all rides. If I don't want to, I complete my last ride and turn off the app.


You are an ant!


----------



## tohunt4me

Humming 


BlastedChango said:


> i hope that i can be free of this slavery


" Let My People Go"-Louis Armstrong . . .
Go down Moses . . .oppressed so hard they could not stand . . .


----------



## workmak15295




----------



## B - uberlyftdriver

UBER HERO?


----------



## Chuque77

Spotscat said:


> Is driving around while whistling the theme song from "M*A*S*H" a good reason to stop being an Uber driver?


It's when you sing the lyrics to it that there's a real problem.


----------



## SuzeCB

tohunt4me said:


> We have a collar and a leash for you . . .
> But first, you must cut the knees out of your pants before you crawl to accept it . . .
> It will be as rewarding as Uber.
> 
> I promise . . . . .


UberFetish?



tootsie said:


> I stopped wearing a bra while Ubering a long time go.


How did it affect tips? LMAO


----------



## tootsie

SuzeCB said:


> UberFetish?
> 
> How did it affect tips? LMAO[/QUOTE. It hasn't they probably think it's a stomach roll!


----------



## melusine3

Cableguynoe said:


> Thank you for taking one for the team


She/he/it must either be new, or absolutely financially illiterate. Or both. At first I like the post because I thought there was a sense of irony to it, but now I know it's serious.



Mears Troll Number 4 said:


> number 10 is just simple common knowledge.
> 
> The truth is going 30+ for a ping is pure insanity.
> 
> going 15+ is bad
> 
> going 10+ is ill advised
> 
> This is something THEY TOLD US NOT TO DO at the cab company.
> 
> the truth is the customer probably will get PICKED UP FASTER waiting for a closer driver.


That's because cab companies know full well how to make a profit and taking the long rides isn't one of them. At least they can know if the rides will be more than the minimum.



elelegido said:


> 11. You ride deny your kids and report them to Uber for being under 18
> 
> 12. After dropping your wife off you find yourself reaching for your phone to onestar her for talking too much during the ride.


Speaking of denying kids rides, I finally reported one to Uber recently because he kept requesting rides (I was still in the area) after I left him (and his 2 friends, all with syruppy coffee drinks I don't think so) and their response is they can and will cancel YOUR account if you're found giving children rides. I know, not in what - 3 cities - that they're doing the pilot program - but for real. I told them they need to make it easier to report these cases, because as it is, you have to go hither and yonder to the point you can then text the reason for concern. There needs to be an underage unaccompanied minor button.


----------



## Uber Crack

melusine3 said:


> She/he/it must either be new, or absolutely financially illiterate. Or both. At first I like the post because I thought there was a sense of irony to it, but now I know it's serious.
> 
> That's because cab companies know full well how to make a profit and taking the long rides isn't one of them. At least they can know if the rides will be more than the minimum.
> 
> Speaking of denying kids rides, I finally reported one to Uber recently because he kept requesting rides (I was still in the area) after I left him (and his 2 friends, all with syruppy coffee drinks I don't think so) and their response is they can and will cancel YOUR account if you're found giving children rides. I know, not in what - 3 cities - that they're doing the pilot program - but for real. I told them they need to make it easier to report these cases, because as it is, you have to go hither and yonder to the point you can then text the reason for concern. There needs to be an underage unaccompanied minor button.


The post was intended to be a humorous exaggeration


----------



## Uberdriverlasvegas

Mears Troll Number 4 said:


> number 10 is just simple common knowledge.
> 
> The truth is going 30+ for a ping is pure insanity.
> 
> going 15+ is bad
> 
> going 10+ is ill advised
> 
> This is something THEY TOLD US NOT TO DO at the cab company.
> 
> the truth is the customer probably will get PICKED UP FASTER waiting for a closer driver.


Yesterday I accepted a Lyft ping 11 mins away, of course hoping it would be long ride. I picked up a nice young man and drove him to his girlfriend's house 7 minutes away [sigh]. After dropping off the pax, I sent Lyft a message, which went something like this...

"Dear Lyft, I just drove 11 minutes for a 7 minute ride. Surely, there was a closer driver."

Lyft responded with an apology and applied an additional $5 to my account.


----------



## UberHammer

tootsie said:


> I stopped wearing a bra while Ubering a long time go.


I started wearing a bra while Ubering last week.... 'cause I was bored.


----------



## sellkatsell44

tootsie said:


> stomach roll


Tbh wearing a padless bra gives the same affect and having some sort of support is nice imho. The only time I ever had to go braless on months end was with a port installed in my chest...even a sports bra was comfortable.

Appearances to me doesn't matter so much as personal hygiene aka smell.


----------



## wk1102

tohunt4me said:


> To Master Uber, first one must Master ones self.





tohunt4me said:


> Stare at the pictures in your bathroom while gently rubbing


I've had this down pat since 6th grade!


----------



## Uber Crack

wk1102 said:


> I've had this down pat since 6th grade!


Lmao


----------



## Nick781

OMG so me but number 3 hit me the hardesterest


----------



## Uber Crack

Nick781 said:


> OMG so me but number 3 hit me the hardesterest


Number 3 is an issue for me too


----------



## wk1102

Uber Crack said:


> Number 3 is an issue for me too


#1 is easy.... # 2 on the road is an issue for me. I like my own potty. For #3 see my previous post.


----------



## Nick781

Uber Crack said:


> Number 3 is an issue for me too


I'm not even kidding though lol I do some crazy shit in the hood and I dont even live near it only when ubering


----------



## GT500KR

Uber Crack said:


> I have bandages on my hands from calluses from gripping the steering wheel.


I wore out my power steering hose.



Grahamcracker said:


> I agree with everything except 10. I do my taxes correctly and I still don't pick 10+ minutes away. Never have, never will.


I multiply all my deductions by 20.2 per cent so the IRS can be just as screwed as I am!


----------



## Trebor

Uber Crack said:


> Top 10 signs you need to STOP BEING AN UBER DRIVER...
> 
> 10. You stop accepting every ping you get, or canceling the ride if its "too far" for your whiney little butt to drive to.
> 9. You stop keeping your car perfectly clean, looking at it and saying, "eh, it can go another day before washing".
> 8. You start eating and drinking excessively whilst online to cope with your depression of having whiney Pax who don't rate you 5 stars when it's not even your fault!
> 7. You no longer bother to hold your farts in or brush your hair/teeth.
> 6. You start making up bullshit stories to tell Pax, like when you were shot in 'Nam, because you're tired of telling them the same story about your life.
> 5. You go from wearing nice clothes, to eh these are clean, to clothes off your floor and no undies because well who has time for laundry? Ubering is exhausting man!
> 4. You start creeping Pax out for fun, like the huge eyeball mirror stare, telling them you haven't slept for 32 hours solid, you have two prosthetic limbs that sometimes act up....
> 3. You start engaging in risky behavior, going into known gang 'hoods playing your rap CD loudly throwing white chick gang signs, with "blow me" written with your finger on your dusty back window.
> 2. You start believing the Pax like you. Huge red flag. They don't, they're drunk. You're NOT the best driver they have ever had. Also they don't think you're hot. Only your mom thinks that.
> 1. The number one reason to stop being an uber driver... You have to use coins to put gas in enough to get one ride so you can cash out and put gas in for your next ride so you can cash out to get Mc Donald's!


You mean only YOUR mom thinks that..


----------



## TNCMinWage

Uberdriverlasvegas said:


> Yesterday I accepted a Lyft ping 11 mins away, of course hoping it would be long ride. I picked up a nice young man and drove him to his girlfriend's house 7 minutes away [sigh]. After dropping off the pax, I sent Lyft a message, which went something like this...
> 
> "Dear Lyft, I just drove 11 minutes for a 7 minute ride. Surely, there was a closer driver."
> 
> Lyft responded with an apology and applied an additional $5 to my account.


Seriously? I get stuck doing that ALL the time in the suburbs. Maybe I'll start writing them each time and see what I get.


----------



## Rat

Uber Crack said:


> Trafficat... You don't lose money if you do your taxes right. Also some areas of urban sprawl you have no choice but to accept long distance pick ups or you won't get any rides at all. Sacramento CA is like that. 3 million people with about 6 cities in a Metroplex. You can drive downtown but those rides are $3. Maybe you work in a different area, not sure.
> 
> Not sure if that's sarcasm or not hahaha


Even if you "do your taxes right", you aren't making crap.


----------



## george manousaridis

Uber Crack said:


> Top 10 signs you need to STOP BEING AN UBER DRIVER...
> 
> 10. You stop accepting every ping you get, or canceling the ride if its "too far" for your whiney little butt to drive to.
> 9. You stop keeping your car perfectly clean, looking at it and saying, "eh, it can go another day before washing".
> 8. You start eating and drinking excessively whilst online to cope with your depression of having whiney Pax who don't rate you 5 stars when it's not even your fault!
> 7. You no longer bother to hold your farts in or brush your hair/teeth.
> 6. You start making up bullshit stories to tell Pax, like when you were shot in 'Nam, because you're tired of telling them the same story about your life.
> 5. You go from wearing nice clothes, to eh these are clean, to clothes off your floor and no undies because well who has time for laundry? Ubering is exhausting man!
> 4. You start creeping Pax out for fun, like the huge eyeball mirror stare, telling them you haven't slept for 32 hours solid, you have two prosthetic limbs that sometimes act up....
> 3. You start engaging in risky behavior, going into known gang 'hoods playing your rap CD loudly throwing white chick gang signs, with "blow me" written with your finger on your dusty back window.
> 2. You start believing the Pax like you. Huge red flag. They don't, they're drunk. You're NOT the best driver they have ever had. Also they don't think you're hot. Only your mom thinks that.
> 1. The number one reason to stop being an uber driver... You have to use coins to put gas in enough to get one ride so you can cash out and put gas in for your next ride so you can cash out to get Mc Donald's!


Lol,good points but not every one point is applicable .Keep trying


----------



## Uber Crack

Rat said:


> Even if you "do your taxes right", you aren't making crap.


I think that depends on the area and when you work and how many hours perhaps. I've learned this - you can't work where and when you want to make money... You have to work where it's busy and when it's busy.


----------



## Rat

Uber Crack said:


> I think that depends on the area and when you work and how many hours perhaps. I've learned this - you can't work where and when you want to make money... You have to work where it's busy and when it's busy.


That's three weeks away here.


----------



## WellX

Uber Crack said:


> Trafficat... You don't lose money if you do your taxes right. Also some areas of urban sprawl you have no choice but to accept long distance pick ups or you won't get any rides at all. Sacramento CA is like that. 3 million people with about 6 cities in a Metroplex. You can drive downtown but those rides are $3. Maybe you work in a different area, not sure.
> 
> Not sure if that's sarcasm or not hahaha


doest metter, your or lease accepting all rides will kill it easy. 1 year work with Uber i know my motto is Work less get more.


----------



## Brian G.

I'm 6 out of 10 of these. I better quit at once!!


----------



## Michael - Cleveland

Cableguynoe said:


> No. But if you ever start whistling "it's a small world", then you know it's time to walk away.


uh-oh


----------



## SurgeSurferSD

When I'm dropping off my wife for a meeting or appointment I sometimes tell her she was a one star passenger. It might be time to quit...


----------



## Trump Economics

Trafficat said:


> You can literally lose money on some pings if you estimate your vehicle costs at 20-30 cents a mile
> 
> Hey it is MY car. Not a lease!


Does sleeping count as "living in?"


----------



## KenJ

Uber Crack said:


> Top 10 signs you need to STOP BEING AN UBER DRIVER...
> 
> 2. You start believing the Pax like you. Huge red flag. They don't, they're drunk. You're NOT the best driver they have ever had. Also they don't think you're hot. Only your mom thinks that.
> 1. The number one reason to stop being an uber driver... You have to use coins to put gas in enough to get one ride so you can cash out and put gas in for your next ride so you can cash out to get Mc Donald's!


I've long reached and passed #2 and am almost there at #1, hilarious but very true list! You're spot on Uber Crack!!

Beyond #1, should I say there's a point you'd call:

#0 (AKA - That's it, Iv'e had enough!). You start feeling you're a "hamster" person driving around town in a four-wheel vehicle - which is my avatar on this forum!


----------



## Uber Crack

KenJ said:


> I've long reached and passed #2 and am almost there at #1, hilarious but very true list! You're spot on Uber Crack!! I've a descriptive imagination for #1 and it's, "You start feeling you're a "hamster" person driving around town in a four wheel vehicle - which is my avatar on this forum!


Lol  at your avitar!


----------



## KenJ

Uber Crack said:


> Lol  at your avitar!


Lol... I don't know about you and other fella drivers, but it's true; I feel I'm a hamster-man when driving Rideshare!


----------



## Jerseygirl86

Cableguynoe said:


> Thank you for taking one for the team


Yea, seriously.



Uber Crack said:


> Trafficat... You don't lose money if you do your taxes right. Also some areas of urban sprawl you have no choice but to accept long distance pick ups or you won't get any rides at all. Sacramento CA is like that. 3 million people with about 6 cities in a Metroplex. You can drive downtown but those rides are $3. Maybe you work in a different area, not sure.
> 
> Not sure if that's sarcasm or not hahaha


It was sarcasm. 
Some people do this for additional income not full time work and in that case, yes, you can lose money on far pickups with far destinations in NJ. For example, NJ drivers are sent to drive from NJ to JFK airport in Queens, NY. Its a 41 mile drive, at BEST, takes 1 1/2hrs one way. It honestly can take up to 3 hours depending on the traffic conditions around Manhattan and other boroughs. Remember, we make only $0.08 per minute of time and the cost is basically set around the miles yourd driving. Once in Queens, we are not permitted to pick up riders anywhere in New York even if they`re traveling back to NJ just as we have to. 
So you potentially can spend an entire morning or afternoon on this one ride and earn $50 from Uber, have to replace $15 worth of gas for the mileage and typical stop-and-go traffic that is unavoidable. AND pay your $15 in tolls to get back to NJ from Queens. So how much did you make in 3 hrs? $20. 
Yes you are losing money- putting city miles on your car, driving for a long period of time in an area where you cannot pick up riders going back to your home or wherever- all the meanwhile, the area in which you live, is surging and youre a driver sent to a place for dropoff where you cannot "drive".


----------



## 45821

Uber Crack said:


> I accept all rides. If I don't want to, I complete my last ride and turn off the app.


Kudos. Because of drivers like you I do not feel bad about not accepting or cancelling rides, not that I ever felt bad.


----------



## Kembolicous

Gee, sounds like someone that is still excited, and hasn't been Sodomized by Uber/Lyft enough yet.


----------



## tohunt4me

Kembolicous said:


> Gee, sounds like someone that is still excited, and hasn't been Sodomized by Uber/Lyft enough yet.


Some enjoy sodomy and sadism.


----------



## Uber_Yota_916

Uber Crack said:


> Top 10 signs you need to STOP BEING AN UBER DRIVER...
> 
> 10. You stop accepting every ping you get, or canceling the ride if its "too far" for your whiney little butt to drive to.
> 9. You stop keeping your car perfectly clean, looking at it and saying, "eh, it can go another day before washing".
> 8. You start eating and drinking excessively whilst online to cope with your depression of having whiney Pax who don't rate you 5 stars when it's not even your fault!
> 7. You no longer bother to hold your farts in or brush your hair/teeth.
> 6. You start making up bullshit stories to tell Pax, like when you were shot in 'Nam, because you're tired of telling them the same story about your life.
> 5. You go from wearing nice clothes, to eh these are clean, to clothes off your floor and no undies because well who has time for laundry? Ubering is exhausting man!
> 4. You start creeping Pax out for fun, like the huge eyeball mirror stare, telling them you haven't slept for 32 hours solid, you have two prosthetic limbs that sometimes act up....
> 3. You start engaging in risky behavior, going into known gang 'hoods playing your rap CD loudly throwing white chick gang signs, with "blow me" written with your finger on your dusty back window.
> 2. You start believing the Pax like you. Huge red flag. They don't, they're drunk. You're NOT the best driver they have ever had. Also they don't think you're hot. Only your mom thinks that.
> 1. The number one reason to stop being an uber driver... You have to use coins to put gas in enough to get one ride so you can cash out and put gas in for your next ride so you can cash out to get Mc Donald's!


Number one is my favorite. Except I am taking in my recyclables to get cash for mcd's and a lil gas for my next ride. Lol that shit is making me laugh.


----------



## melusine3

I've been recently wonde


tohunt4me said:


> She has no hands. . .just circles.
> 
> What Uber sticker. Oh the one i finally had to go get after doing uber 1 1/2 years ? The one uber was supposed to mail to me in the uber " welcome" packet a few rate cuts ago ?
> It is in brand new shape gathering dust at bottom of glove compartment.
> 
> It has seen light of day twice when i got pings a mile from airport for pickups.
> It came out for 15 seconds to wave at security.
> ( the Lyft sticker never made it to the car, Uber is privileged)
> The Lyft sticker is for standby income in the case that i am ever falsely unjustly accused by lying stinking pax and cut off from income for a week illegaly by uber while being " investigated" due to false accusations.
> What a system huh ?
> Lies can cost you but not the accuser.


I've been recently wondering why Uber is the one to set the fee for driving, when it should be completely up to the driver.


----------



## ABC123DEF

melusine3 said:


> I've been recently wonde
> 
> I've been recently wondering why Uber is the one to set the fee for driving, when it should be completely up to the driver.


Because Uber is the ultimate control freak run by tech geeks who don't want ants/drivers thinking for themselves.


----------



## tomatopaste

Uber Crack said:


> Trafficat... You don't lose money if you do your taxes right. Also some areas of urban sprawl you have no choice but to accept long distance pick ups or you won't get any rides at all. Sacramento CA is like that. 3 million people with about 6 cities in a Metroplex. You can drive downtown but those rides are $3. Maybe you work in a different area, not sure.
> 
> Not sure if that's sarcasm or not hahaha


When drivers accept long pings it allows Uber to keep fares where they are


----------



## ShinyAndChrome

tomatopaste said:


> When drivers accept long pings it allows Uber to keep fares where they are


Absolutely right. If people would stop taking these absurd fares with no recompense uber would stop treating people like the indentured servants many people willingly behave as.


----------



## Uber Crack

Thank you for recent feedback comments about long pings and sodomy and sadism.
I have also felt the disappointment of earnings I've felt are lower than they should be. We all have. I challenge ONE person on here to say they think they're paid enough. *crickets chirp*

People of this forum are from very different markets and therefore have very different experiences, also drive for different reasons, have different financial obligations to meet.

On one hand drivers complaining about not earning enough. On the other, saying, Omg it's so dead. You can't have it both ways. Would you like Uber to pay us drivers more? Then accept that Pax will choose lyft and you'll sit there whining that it's dead. Uber didn't create this problem. It's supply and demand. I'm tired of being ostracized on this app for doing what I have to do to make money in MY market and on MY schedule where I'm available to work. Every uber driver has their own personal reasons for choosing to drive. Being rude to other drivers isn't constructive. 

Finally, regarding ping distances. I no longer take ALL pings. But that is my personal choice. A few I can say NO THANKS just like all the rest of you can. And if it's a few it doesn't affect your percentage that much. Also, more than 50% of the time I get an update... "we have matched you to a closer rider" and finally if I do accept the ping it is because I would like to and its my prerogative to. If I don't like it, I should work when it's more busy or in a more densely populated area. That's just the way it is. 

Respectfully to you guys who complain... I don't need to hear how I'm being sodomized by Uber OR how I'm affecting YOU. Those who spew hate here and make rude personal remarks or attacks, fix your lives/get a life. 

Franky none of us should be driving for Uber at these rates and we all know it. If we chose to, remember, that it IS a choice. Thank you.


----------



## freddieman

Uber Crack said:


> I accept all rides. If I don't want to, I complete my last ride and turn off the app.


Uber promotion is in ur future. Keep up the good work.


----------



## Uber Crack

freddieman said:


> Uber promotion is in ur future. Keep up the good work.


That's hilarious


----------



## tomatopaste

Uber Crack said:


> Thank you for recent feedback comments about long pings and sodomy and sadism.
> I have also felt the disappointment of earnings I've felt are lower than they should be. We all have. I challenge ONE person on here to say they think they're paid enough. *crickets chirp*
> 
> People of this forum are from very different markets and therefore have very different experiences, also drive for different reasons, have different financial obligations to meet.
> 
> On one hand drivers complaining about not earning enough. On the other, saying, Omg it's so dead. You can't have it both ways. Would you like Uber to pay us drivers more? Then accept that Pax will choose lyft and you'll sit there whining that it's dead. Uber didn't create this problem. It's supply and demand. I'm tired of being ostracized on this app for doing what I have to do to make money in MY market and on MY schedule where I'm available to work. Every uber driver has their own personal reasons for choosing to drive. Being rude to other drivers isn't constructive.
> 
> Finally, regarding ping distances. I no longer take ALL pings. But that is my personal choice. A few I can say NO THANKS just like all the rest of you can. And if it's a few it doesn't affect your percentage that much. Also, more than 50% of the time I get an update... "we have matched you to a closer rider" and finally if I do accept the ping it is because I would like to and its my prerogative to. If I don't like it, I should work when it's more busy or in a more densely populated area. That's just the way it is.
> 
> Respectfully to you guys who complain... I don't need to hear how I'm being sodomized by Uber OR how I'm affecting YOU. Those who spew hate here and make rude personal remarks or attacks, fix your lives/get a life.
> 
> Franky none of us should be driving for Uber at these rates and we all know it. If we chose to, remember, that it IS a choice. Thank you.


The reason it's dead is because of the over-saturation of drivers. It's not supply and demand when you're operating at a 3 billion dollar annual loss, it's an unethical and probably illegal business practice.


----------



## Uber Crack

tomatopaste said:


> The reason it's dead is because of the over-saturation of drivers. It's not supply and demand when you're operating at a 3 billion dollar annual loss, it's an unethical and probably illegal business practice.


OK... Tell me why there's an over saturation of drivers then? If it's so bad, why are people driving? So that they can come here and complain about how horrible it is? Wait! I know, because ride share is convenient to their schedule (caring for a disabled person or other circumstances) Whining about over saturation isn't going to help you. In fact, if uber paid more, what do YOU think would happen to the over saturation? Would it become over over over saturation? How will that help you?


----------



## ShinyAndChrome

Uber Crack said:


> OK... Tell me why there's an over saturation of drivers then? If it's so bad, why are people driving? So that they can come here and complain about how horrible it is? Wait! I know, because ride share is convenient to their schedule (caring for a disabled person or other circumstances) Whining about over saturation isn't going to help you. In fact, if uber paid more, what do YOU think would happen to the over saturation? Would it become over over over saturation? How will that help you?


Mainly the myth it is lucrative, or some fool pays $10 for a 10 min drive and thinks wow I should do that I could make $60/hour!

Turnover rate is abominable as people figure it out....


----------



## tomatopaste

Uber Crack said:


> OK... Tell me why there's an over saturation of drivers then? If it's so bad, why are people driving? So that they can come here and complain about how horrible it is? Wait! I know, because ride share is convenient to their schedule (caring for a disabled person or other circumstances) Whining about over saturation isn't going to help you. In fact, if uber paid more, what do YOU think would happen to the over saturation? Would it become over over over saturation? How will that help you?


Partly due to unethical dishonest ads like this:

https://cdn.vox-cdn.com/thumbor/LXv...74/Screen_Shot_2014-12-16_at_2.02.44_PM.0.png

I read a post on here a week or so ago from someone saying he was hoping his bankruptcy would go through in a few days. How many others have been forced into bankruptcy by these unethical companies? Yes, no one is forcing anyone to drive, but potential drivers are being misled about what they are getting into.

These companies are preying on the very vulnerable and should be held accountable. If you can do math you'll never be taken advantage of by Uber or Lyft, however Uber and Lyft count on being able to hire a lot of people that are not good at math.


----------



## wk1102

tomatopaste said:


> I read a post on here a week or so ago from someone saying he was hoping his bankruptcy would go through in a few days. How many others have been forced into bankruptcy by these unethical companies?


I don't remember treading anything in that thread that blamed uber or lyft for the guys financial problem.



Uber Crack said:


> Thank you for recent feedback comments about long pings and sodomy and sadism.
> I have also felt the disappointment....


Its okay, I'm back now, you need a hug!


----------



## Uber Crack

tomatopaste said:


> Partly due to unethical dishonest ads like this:
> 
> https://cdn.vox-cdn.com/thumbor/LXv...74/Screen_Shot_2014-12-16_at_2.02.44_PM.0.png
> 
> I read a post on here a week or so ago from someone saying he was hoping his bankruptcy would go through in a few days. How many others have been forced into bankruptcy by these unethical companies? Yes, no one is forcing anyone to drive, but potential drivers are being misled about what they are getting into.
> 
> These companies are preying on the very vulnerable and should be held accountable. If you can do math you'll never be taken advantage of by Uber or Lyft, however Uber and Lyft count on being able to hire a lot of people that are not good at math.


That IS sad. I don't know what to say about that. Has uber done that? I haven't seen it if they have.



wk1102 said:


> I don't remember treading anything in that thread that blamed uber or lyft for the guys financial problem.
> 
> Its okay, I'm back now, you need a hug!


Hug


----------



## tomatopaste

Uber Crack said:


> That IS sad. I don't know what to say about that. Has uber done that? I haven't seen it if they have.


This is Uber:






This is Uber to drivers: You effed up, you trusted us.


----------



## Julescase

Uber Crack said:


> Top 10 signs you need to STOP BEING AN UBER DRIVER...
> 
> 10. You stop accepting every ping you get, or canceling the ride if its "too far" for your whiney little butt to drive to.
> 9. You stop keeping your car perfectly clean, looking at it and saying, "eh, it can go another day before washing".
> 8. You start eating and drinking excessively whilst online to cope with your depression of having whiney Pax who don't rate you 5 stars when it's not even your fault!
> 7. You no longer bother to hold your farts in or brush your hair/teeth.
> 6. You start making up bullshit stories to tell Pax, like when you were shot in 'Nam, because you're tired of telling them the same story about your life.
> 5. You go from wearing nice clothes, to eh these are clean, to clothes off your floor and no undies because well who has time for laundry? Ubering is exhausting man!
> 4. You start creeping Pax out for fun, like the huge eyeball mirror stare, telling them you haven't slept for 32 hours solid, you have two prosthetic limbs that sometimes act up....
> 3. You start engaging in risky behavior, going into known gang 'hoods playing your rap CD loudly throwing white chick gang signs, with "blow me" written with your finger on your dusty back window.
> 2. You start believing the Pax like you. Huge red flag. They don't, they're drunk. You're NOT the best driver they have ever had. Also they don't think you're hot. Only your mom thinks that.
> 1. The number one reason to stop being an uber driver... You have to use coins to put gas in enough to get one ride so you can cash out and put gas in for your next ride so you can cash out to get Mc Donald's!


Lololololol amazing!!

I'm guilty of # 10, 9, 6, 5 & 2.....EVERY DAY!


----------



## melusine3

Uber Crack said:


> OK... Tell me why there's an over saturation of drivers then? If it's so bad, why are people driving? So that they can come here and complain about how horrible it is? Wait! I know, because ride share is convenient to their schedule (caring for a disabled person or other circumstances) Whining about over saturation isn't going to help you. In fact, if uber paid more, what do YOU think would happen to the over saturation? Would it become over over over saturation? How will that help you?


People sign up because they're told they can "Make up to $1,500 PER WEEK" and no other reason. I suspect new drivers are given the more profitable rides to give them a false sense of security about the gig. Eventually, they are turfed out to the experienced driver pasture to sit around waiting for the ever elusive ping. Then they look for forums like this and express their frustration at having purchased a new (or relatively new) car for this scam.


----------



## Uber Crack

melusine3 said:


> People sign up because they're told they can "Make up to $1,500 PER WEEK" and no other reason. I suspect new drivers are given the more profitable rides to give them a false sense of security about the gig. Eventually, they are turfed out to the experienced driver pasture to sit around waiting for the ever elusive ping. Then they look for forums like this and express their frustration at having purchased a new (or relatively new) car for this scam.


I agree that's sad. I wonder why they didn't research it better? It didn't take me long to know what earnings were. Maybe one week? Acc to my earnings statistics I get the same now than when I was new 13 months ago. Maybe people are just looking for something to blame for their lack of research. I think other drivers are the the ones who said they could earn a lot, because they wanted the sign up bonus. There was shady stuff going on but it clearly takes one week to figure out what the pay is. Denial and wishful thinking doesn't pay bills.


----------



## wk1102

Uber Crack said:


> I agree that's sad. I wonder why they didn't research it better? It didn't take me long to know what earnings were. Maybe one week? Acc to my earnings statistics I get the same now than when I was new 13 months ago. Maybe people are just looking for something to blame for their lack of research. I think other drivers are the the ones who said they could earn a lot, because they wanted the sign up bonus. There was shady stuff going on but it clearly takes one week to figure out what the pay is. Denial and wishful thinking doesn't pay bills.


People, men specifically will almpst always lie about 2 things, 1)their sex life and 2) their income.

I had a guy 2 weeks ago telling me he makes 12-1500/wk with U/L. I didn't tell him I was a driver, nor did I call him out but no way is he making 1200 wk. He is am x/xl guy. I drive x xl, i know what hes making.


----------



## Tars Tarkas

Uber Crack said:


> I forgot to add.... Your uber sticker starts looking like shit
> And you're no longer fussy about where you do a number 2.


Good one. I now pee in the damnedest places.


----------



## Uber Crack

Tars Tarkas said:


> Good one. I now pee in the damnedest places.


That avi though! Scary!


----------



## tomatopaste

Uber Crack said:


> That IS sad. I don't know what to say about that. Has uber done that? I haven't seen it if they have.
> 
> Hug





wk1102 said:


> I don't remember treading anything in that thread that blamed uber or lyft for the guys financial problem.


Yeah, he kinda did.

"He also said he's worked with a ton of uber drivers, lmao! I can only imagine!"​https://uberpeople.net/threads/filing-bankruptcy-tomorrow-hopefully.201692/


----------



## melusine3

Uber Crack said:


> I agree that's sad. I wonder why they didn't research it better? It didn't take me long to know what earnings were. Maybe one week? Acc to my earnings statistics I get the same now than when I was new 13 months ago. Maybe people are just looking for something to blame for their lack of research. I think other drivers are the the ones who said they could earn a lot, because they wanted the sign up bonus. There was shady stuff going on but it clearly takes one week to figure out what the pay is. Denial and wishful thinking doesn't pay bills.


When I sought info about driving, the website for the rideshareguy was instrumental in helping me decide to drive. What I didn't realize at the time was he was benefiting off of driver referrals, so he wasn't completely honest about the true nature of driving. Youtube videos of how to make money driving also proliferated. It is fairly recently that people have been completely honest about the real money not made doing this gig. It also didn't help that the Uber drivers that I rode with lied to me about the income from it as well, I'm sure hoping I'd sign up under their name.


----------



## Eesoso

Most drivers soon realize that this is a volume business. It takes a decent amount of expensive hours to cross breakeven for the day and only then to start making any profit. Vehicle ownership is not cheap. No sirree. If you don't realize how expensive it is to drive, you need to stop driving for Uber.


----------



## Who is John Galt?

Spotscat said:


> Is driving around while whistling the theme song from "M*A*S*H" a good reason to stop being an Uber driver?


Yes, because we all know Suicide is Dangerous 
.


----------



## goneubering

Uber Crack said:


> Top 10 signs you need to STOP BEING AN UBER DRIVER...
> 
> 10. You stop accepting every ping you get, or canceling the ride if its "too far" for your whiney little butt to drive to.
> 
> 9. You stop keeping your car perfectly clean, looking at it and saying, "eh, it can go another day before washing".
> 8. You start eating and drinking excessively whilst online to cope with your depression of having whiney Pax who don't rate you 5 stars when it's not even your fault!
> 7. You no longer bother to hold your farts in or brush your hair/teeth.
> 6. You start making up bullshit stories to tell Pax, like when you were shot in 'Nam, because you're tired of telling them the same story about your life.
> 5. You go from wearing nice clothes, to eh these are clean, to clothes off your floor and no undies because well who has time for laundry? Ubering is exhausting man!
> 4. You start creeping Pax out for fun, like the huge eyeball mirror stare, telling them you haven't slept for 32 hours solid, you have two prosthetic limbs that sometimes act up....
> 3. You start engaging in risky behavior, going into known gang 'hoods playing your rap CD loudly throwing white chick gang signs, with "blow me" written with your finger on your dusty back window.
> 2. You start believing the Pax like you. Huge red flag. They don't, they're drunk. You're NOT the best driver they have ever had. Also they don't think you're hot. Only your mom thinks that.
> 1. The number one reason to stop being an uber driver... You have to use coins to put gas in enough to get one ride so you can cash out and put gas in for your next ride so you can cash out to get Mc Donald's!


That's funny!! What I've learned on this forum is that the top drivers do NOT accept every ping that comes their way.


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## Uber Crack

goneubering said:


> That's funny!! What I've learned on this forum is that the top drivers do NOT accept every ping that comes their way.


It really depends on 
 where - the market you're in, or, were you headed in that direction anyway? 
 when - the time of day 
 how - desperate you are for the $
 why - you're driving 
These factors can change up whether a person will accept a longer distance ping or not


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## Cableguynoe

Uber Crack said:


> I accept all rides. If I don't want to, I complete my last ride and turn off the app.





Cableguynoe said:


> Thank you for taking one for the team


This thread keeps coming up for me because people keep liking my comment.

Funny thing is I thought you were a troll back then


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## tohunt4me

melusine3 said:


> When I sought info about driving, the website for the rideshareguy was instrumental in helping me decide to drive. What I didn't realize at the time was he was benefiting off of driver referrals, so he wasn't completely honest about the true nature of driving. Youtube videos of how to make money driving also proliferated. It is fairly recently that people have been completely honest about the real money not made doing this gig. It also didn't help that the Uber drivers that I rode with lied to me about the income from it as well, I'm sure hoping I'd sign up under their name.


The REAL money changes with every new FORCED contract sprung upon us WITHOUT NOTICE OR INPUT BY UBER !

What you make changes day to day on Ubers whim.

" NO NEED TO TIP "

" LOWER RATES MEAN MORE MONEY"


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## tohunt4me

SuzeCB said:


> UberFetish?
> 
> How did it affect tips? LMAO


The " tips" were instantly more visible . . .


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## SuzeCB

tohunt4me said:


> The " tips" were instantly more visible . . .


And, of course, some were bigger than others, and still others were bragged about and promised with only disappointment to follow.


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## Uber Crack

SuzeCB said:


> And, of course, some were bigger than others, and still others were bragged about and promised with only disappointment to follow.


Hahaha!!  
Well said!


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## george manousaridis

melusine3 said:


> When I sought info about driving, the website for the rideshareguy was instrumental in helping me decide to drive. What I didn't realize at the time was he was benefiting off of driver referrals, so he wasn't completely honest about the true nature of driving. Youtube videos of how to make money driving also proliferated. It is fairly recently that people have been completely honest about the real money not made doing this gig. It also didn't help that the Uber drivers that I rode with lied to me about the income from it as well, I'm sure hoping I'd sign up under their name.


It's a sad world


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## wk1102

SuzeCB said:


> And, of course, some were bigger than others, and still others were bragged about and promised with only disappointment to follow.


I follow a different strategy. Size is subjective, a big "tip" to me may be considered small or average to you.

I'll prepare you for an average to smaller "tip" and hopefully when you get around to looking at what was received.... you're pleasantly surprised.


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## Uber Crack

wk1102 said:


> I follow a different strategy. Size is subjective, a big "tip" to me may be considered small or average to you.
> 
> I'll prepare you for an average to smaller "tip" and hopefully when you get around to looking at what was received.... you're pleasantly surprised.


Hahaha  I almost spat my coffee


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## wk1102

Uber Crack said:


> Hahaha  I almost spat my coffee


 as long as you're laughing at what I wrote and not my... generosity


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## Uber Crack

wk1102 said:


> as long as you're laughing at what I wrote and not my... generosity


Is that what they're calling it these days?  I'm so out of the loop.


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## wk1102

Uber Crack said:


> Is that what they're calling it these days?  I'm so out of the loop.


Tip? Gratuity?... get your mind out of the gutter!

Wait, on second thought, don't ...


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## Tihstae

wk1102 said:


> Tip? Gratuity?... get your mind out of the gutter!
> 
> Wait, on second thought, don't ...


If you all don't get your mind out of the gutter, how is my mind going to be able to float by?


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## Saltyoldman

Trafficat said:


> You can literally lose money on some pings if you estimate your vehicle costs at 20-30 cents a mile
> 
> Hey it is MY car. Not a lease!


You can lose money doing this in a New York second if your not careful. Can't be all Willy Nilly out there, gotta play it smart and try to keep the car moving with a paying pax in the back seat. Atleast in this tiny market


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## Cableguynoe

Uber Crack said:


> I accept all rides. If I don't want to, I complete my last ride and turn off the app.


Has anything changed UC?


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## negeorgia

Uber Crack said:


> I think that depends on the area and when you work and how many hours perhaps. I've learned this - you can't work where and when you want to make money... You have to work where it's busy and when it's busy.


Yep, the pay is better when they need you instead of when they don't.


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## Uber Crack

Cableguynoe said:


> Has anything changed UC?[


Hahaha ...
Well, if I'm honest, I don't take every ping these days  (especially those 17 minute pings out into the boonies) BUT, as I repeatedly say, people have personal reasons for why they uber and when they uber and basically whatever works for people, good for them. Does it make financial sense to take every ping? No. But until I've driven in all markets and seen everyone's personal situations, I can't say jack.


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## Wonkytonk

Uber Crack said:


> 6. You start making up bullshit stories to tell Pax, like when you were shot in 'Nam, because you're tired of telling them the same story about your life.


There I was, all by myself. I was running out of ammo. Somebody stole my boots. I wondered who it was....



Uber Crack said:


> 4. You start creeping Pax out for fun, like the huge eyeball mirror stare, telling them you haven't slept for 32 hours solid, you have two prosthetic limbs that sometimes act up....


Ooopsie. What? Yeah we did almost hit that car, but in my defense my right knee always twitches when Justin Bieber comes on the radio. My VA psych doctor says it's most likely on account of how I want to kick something whenever I hear his voice, Bieber's voice, not the psych doctor's. Which is kind of weird since I lost my right leg just past my right knee. It's not really something you should worry about unless you hear Insane Clown Posse come on the radio.



Uber Crack said:


> 2. You start believing the Pax like you. Huge red flag. They don't, they're drunk. You're NOT the best driver they have ever had. Also they don't think you're hot. Only your mom thinks that.


Hey! I will have you to know that they do indeed LOVE me, and know I'm sexy, and they let me know. Also my mom doesn't think any of that, that would just be sick.



Uber Crack said:


> 1. The number one reason to stop being an uber driver... You have to use coins to put gas in enough to get one ride so you can cash out and put gas in for your next ride so you can cash out to get Mc Donald's!


I only do that because I get more points on my credit card that way. Also Mickey Dees regular hamburgers with extra onions are the universe's gift to humanity.


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## Moonrider

tohunt4me said:


> We have a collar and a leash for you . . .


My girlfriend got me a nice leather dog collar with sweet pointy *spikes*. AND a shiny chrome leash. It's luverly, and oh, so comfy.


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## Rakos

Moonrider said:


> My girlfriend got me a nice leather dog collar with sweet pointy *spikes*. AND a shiny chrome leash. It's luverly, and oh, so comfy.


Ok PePe...

The look should complete your aura...

Now you can look great...

While wafting your unique aroma...8>)

Will the girls EVER get enuff of you...???

Rakos


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## Aerodrifting

Spending more time on UP than actually driving


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## Highland Hauler

So far the characteristics of the OP don't apply to me...... 94% acceptance rate and half the 6% rejection is because of failing to realize i really should have already signed off. The other half is usually due to being tied up with a current pax or traffic situation and thinking i can't do the new pax justice.


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## CYP

Who in the hell has CD's?


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## Rakos

CYP said:


> Who in the hell has CD's?


You do mean...

*C*onstant...

*D*ancing...???

Rakos


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## CYP

Rakos said:


> You do mean...
> 
> *C*onstant...
> View attachment 228024
> 
> 
> *D*ownrating...???
> 
> Rakos


Sometimes you need to fling poop back at the monkey


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## Highland Hauler

I have a music CD but it's stuck in my CD player.


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## Uber Crack

I hate when this embarrassing thread rears its ugly head due to a random comment haha   
Don't accept all pings lol


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## Wonkytonk

Uber Crack said:


> I hate when this embarrassing thread rears its ugly head due to a random comment haha
> Don't accept all pings lol


Lol that's reason number 7 How you know you've been posting on Uberpeople too long.


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## Moonrider

Rakos said:


> Ok PePe...
> 
> Will the girls EVER get enuff of you...???
> 
> Rakos
> View attachment 227730


LOL! Non! Nevaire!


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## goneubering

Uber Crack said:


> I've never had a ping more than 25 minutes and yes I did take it. Sometimes pings for me can be 15 to 20 ... It's the times that I'm available to work. I just deal with it and accept them.


Wow.


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