# I accept alternate forms of tips



## ThugNi99a

Customers often ask me if they can tip thru the app. When I say no the only way to tip is with cash a lot of customers claim that they do not have cash on them. As a result, I have started to accept other forms of tip. First I made a sign which said "I accept various forms of tip," and I stuck it behind the headrests and on my center console. When customers ask me what forms I accept, I explain that I prefer cash, but in the absence of cash I also accept the following (listed in order of most preferred first):

1. Blowjobs - I am always up for a good sloppy BJ from my female customers (females only)

2. Alcohol - any form of alcohol will suffice

3. Cocaine - I don't usually do coke but its great on nights when I pull 16 hour shifts. It helps me stay awake.

4. Weed - I don't smoke that much but I share with customers and they love it. Gets me 5 stars, especially with the under 30 crowd.

5. Ecstasy or Mollies - I take this and I resell to passengers I am dropping off to the clubs or after hours.

6. Handjobs - I accept hand jobs from female customers (female only)

7. Water and Candy - I tell them they can buy water and candy which I can give to other passengers. Helps me get 5 stars from the cheapskates who think my car is a convenience store.

So far I have received at least one of everything I have listed above. I also noticed that I am getting tipped more often. What are your thoughts? Has anyone else received any other forms of tip not listed above? Please share.


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## grUBBER

Describe that uber hand job. 
Was it as gross as it sounds?


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## chi1cabby

First, I don't believe that you in fact have such a sign in your car.
Secondly, If you do in fact have such a sign, you are on your way to a quick summary deactivation.
And lastly, Ever hear of this thing called Square Resister?


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## JeffD1964

What is Square register?


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## JeffD1964

And I wouldn't accept any of that.


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## chi1cabby

JeffD1964 said:


> What is Square register?


App to process CC Transactions.


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## johnny danger

I like his name, thug ni99a... too funny.. It's a great idea about the blow jobs...


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## ThugNi99a

grUBBER said:


> Describe that uber hand job.
> Was it as gross as it sounds?


The hand job I received was from a girl I picked up from her friend's bachelorette party. She was super drunk and I helped her connect her Bluetooth to my sound system so she can play her tunes. When we got to her house she said she wished she had something to tip me. I didn't have the sign up at the time but I explained. Long story short she gave me a hand job but she insisted I wear a condom because she didn't want to get semen on her hands. Yeah pretty nasty stuff basically.


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## getemtheresafely

chi1cabby said:


> App to process CC Transactions.


I haven't used it in awhile but have been a square user for about 2 years now.....do they still charge 2.7% for the transaction?


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## ThugNi99a

chi1cabby said:


> First, I don't believe that you in fact have such a sign in your car.
> Secondly, If you do in fact have such a sign, you are on your way to a quick summary deactivation.
> And lastly, Ever hear of this thing called Square Resister?


I do have a sign like that. A lot of people think its funny and very clever. I honestly don't care if I get deactived because I have a job main job that pays well and good benefits. I do Uber on the side for extra income and also to make a killing on days like Halloween. Also I have heard of Square but customers probably will not like to tip in that manner. Do you personally use it?


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## ThugNi99a

johnny danger said:


> I like his name, thug ni99a... too funny.. It's a great idea about the blow jobs...


Thanks buddy. And the blowjobs are a wonderful form of tip. Especially the type that has you wiping drool of your balls for hours.


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## chi1cabby

ThugNi99a said:


> Do you personally use it?


Yes. I drive a cab in Chicago. About 60% of my fares are CC transactions that I run on Square.


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## ThugNi99a

chi1cabby said:


> Yes. I drive a cab in Chicago. About 60% of my fares are CC transactions that I run on Square.


Do you do Uber too? Also I'm curious to know if you have received any non-cash "tips"


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## chi1cabby

ThugNi99a said:


> Do you do Uber too? Also I'm curious to know if you have received any non-cash "tips"


We have UberTaxi in Chicago. It's a service on the Uber platform that dispatches regular cabs.
Many years ago, I would sometimes receive "non cash" tips in the form of mushrooms from Deadhead girls. The Grateful Dead would set up camp at Soldiers Field to play 3 concerts over a summer weekend.


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## johnny danger

chi1cabby said:


> We have UberTaxi in Chicago. It's a service on the Uber platform that dispatches regular cabs.
> Many years ago, I would sometimes receive "non cash" tips in the form of mushrooms from Deadhead girls. The Grateful Dead would set up camp at Soldiers Field to play 3 concerts over a summer weekend.


Shroomz are really good.... from back in the day... grateful dead, not my thing,,,, but the shroomz were really good,,, haha


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## UberRey

No BJs, but I have been given a bunch of bananas and a nice suitcase...


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## JeffD1964

chi1cabby said:


> Yes. I drive a cab in Chicago. About 60% of my fares are CC transactions that I run on Square.


Gotcha. I don't know if that would work for UberX drivers. How would a customer feel about using their phone to order UberX and then being asked to put a tip on a cc? I suppose if they were insistent that they give you a tip, it would be a good solution, but I don't know if it would be worth buying the setup in order to collect them. Thank you Chi1cabby. Any feeling on that from Uber only folks?


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## chi1cabby

JeffD1964 said:


> I don't know if it would be worth buying the setup in order to collect them.


Square Resister is Free! 
It's convenient and easy to use!
Many UberX Drivers have it just for the purpose of accepting tips. It literally takes 15 seconds to run a tip transaction through Square, and the money is deposited in your Bank Acc the business day. And the transaction processing fee is 2.75%.


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## JeffD1964

chi1cabby said:


> Square Resister is Free!
> It's convenient and easy to use!
> Many UberX Drivers have it just for the purpose of accepting tips. It literally takes 15 seconds to run a tip transaction through Square, and the money is deposited in your Bank Acc the business day. And the transaction processing fee is 2.75%.


I'm down. I have the iphone. 2.75 on transaction processing is way high, by market standards, but they're little transactions, so I get it. Thanks Chi1cabby!


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## UberDC

chi1cabby said:


> App to process CC Transactions.
> View attachment 2736


Also known as a quick way to get deactivated, sooner or later.


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## UberDC

I've been tipped several times with alcohol. I've gotten a bottle of wine, beers, and pints of alcohol.


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## johnny danger

I have a feeling we are all going to be deactivated sooner or later,,, mostly due to the rating system,,,,, so you should get! before you get got! The more I read and hear it seems like the uber system is designed that way,, so make the best of it....


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## DjTim

UberDC said:


> Also known as a quick way to get deactivated, sooner or later.


Yep. I know Square and GoPayment are quite extensively by businesses, all it takes is one person to say "Hey, my credit card number was stolen" and then the shit hits the fan.

If Uber were to add a clause to allow tips via other methods, then we are sort of in the clear. By just putting that statement into their contract, it pushes the liability down to the drivers if something gets compromised. If you thought driving regulations were tough, I wouldn't want to be on the otherside of having PCI compliance shoved down my throat.


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## billybengal

JeffD1964 said:


> I'm down. I have the iphone. 2.75 on transaction processing is way high, by market standards, but they're little transactions, so I get it. Thanks Chi1cabby!


2.75 is high? Please! Maybe it's high if you're running a convenience store and pay for the actual terminal. With square you get the "terminal" for free as well as the convenience of being able to accept cards anywhere. If you rack up $1,000 in tips then the last time I checked 2.75% would be $27.50. Is $27.50 really so much to pay to get $1,000 that otherwise you wouldn't get because you didn't accept cards?


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## Older Chauffeur

What a disgusting thread, beginning with the OP's avatar/name /location.


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## Sydney Uber

JeffD1964 said:


> I'm down. I have the iphone. 2.75 on transaction processing is way high, by market standards, but they're little transactions, so I get it. Thanks Chi1cabby!


2.75% is not high. American Express are up to 4.75% for Taxi/Hire Cars charged to Merchant (which is passed on).

Dont be too upset about handing over less than 30 cents to an organisation that puts $9.70 or more in your pocket on a $10.00 tip.

Compare what Uber takes from you on a $10.00 trip then add the costs, then the time you spent.

Seriously!


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## DjTim

Sydney Uber said:


> 2.75% is not high. American Express are up to 4.75% for Taxi/Hire Cars charged to Merchant (which is passed on).
> 
> Dont be too upset about handing over less than 30 cents to an organisation that puts $9.70 or more in your pocket on a $10.00 tip.
> 
> Compare what Uber takes from you on a $10.00 trip then add the costs, then the time you spent.
> 
> Seriously!


My wife said GoPayment (Square equivalent) has no monthly charge, but has a 2.7% fee per swipe. Square is the same. On a manual entry it's higher. One thing about these, you can link directly to a personal banking account. There are high limits through, they start treating you as a real merchant after $1200 in a 30 day period. After that, GoPayment wants a monthly fee if you are doing a high amount of transactions, but then your swipe fee goes down.

So - best way is to just take cash, cause otherwise you pay on each swipe no matter what service you use and no matter if you have a merchant account or not.


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## big Dave

this was a funny thread, all truth or not...


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## JeffD1964

billybengal said:


> 2.75 is high? Please! Maybe it's high if you're running a convenience store and pay for the actual terminal. With square you get the "terminal" for free as well as the convenience of being able to accept cards anywhere. If you rack up $1,000 in tips then the last time I checked 2.75% would be $27.50. Is $27.50 really so much to pay to get $1,000 that otherwise you wouldn't get because you didn't accept cards?


IS it $1000.00? Monthly? Annually? Do tell. Evidence please if possible. I'm thinking it will be rare the rider who wishes me tipped to the point that I'll be comfortable suggesting this, since it is against the terms of the contract for me to mention first. And yes, high, compared to what they charge retailers. Not high when compared with not getting tips, of course.


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## pengduck

getemtheresafely said:


> I haven't used it in awhile but have been a square user for about 2 years now.....do they still charge 2.7% for the transaction?


2.75


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## pengduck

ThugNi99a said:


> Do you do Uber too? Also I'm curious to know if you have received any non-cash "tips"


I use Square and have received 3 $20 tips using this method. Along with numerous $5 tips.


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## johnny danger

I just got a great idea,,, get a square and sell knockoff movies, watches, sports jerseys, tiffany, etc. Right out of the trunk and uber is bringing cust. right to me and Xmas right around the corner.....IT'S A HOME RUN !!!


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## DjTim

johnny danger said:


> I just got a great idea,,, get a square and sell knockoff movies, watches, sports jerseys, tiffany, etc. Right out of the trunk and uber is bringing cust. right to me and Xmas right around the corner.....IT'S A HOME RUN !!!


Shit - we can just call you a NYC Cabbie then


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## Realityshark

ThugNi99a said:


> Customers often ask me if they can tip thru the app. When I say no the only way to tip is with cash a lot of customers claim that they do not have cash on them. As a result, I have started to accept other forms of tip. First I made a sign which said "I accept various forms of tip," and I stuck it behind the headrests and on my center console. When customers ask me what forms I accept, I explain that I prefer cash, but in the absence of cash I also accept the following (listed in order of most preferred first):
> 
> 1. Blowjobs - I am always up for a good sloppy BJ from my female customers (females only)
> 
> 2. Alcohol - any form of alcohol will suffice
> 
> 3. Cocaine - I don't usually do coke but its great on nights when I pull 16 hour shifts. It helps me stay awake.
> 
> 4. Weed - I don't smoke that much but I share with customers and they love it. Gets me 5 stars, especially with the under 30 crowd.
> 
> 5. Ecstasy or Mollies - I take this and I resell to passengers I am dropping off to the clubs or after hours.
> 
> 6. Handjobs - I accept hand jobs from female customers (female only)
> 
> 7. Water and Candy - I tell them they can buy water and candy which I can give to other passengers. Helps me get 5 stars from the cheapskates who think my car is a convenience store. Awesome sign..... What a great idea. Take a pic of it in your car and post it here.


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## Realityshark

Awesome sign..... What a great idea. Take a pic of it in your car and post it here.


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## billybengal

JeffD1964 said:


> IS it $1000.00? Monthly? Annually? Do tell. Evidence please if possible. I'm thinking it will be rare the rider who wishes me tipped to the point that I'll be comfortable suggesting this, since it is against the terms of the contract for me to mention first. And yes, high, compared to what they charge retailers. Not high when compared with not getting tips, of course.


I was saying that you pay $27.50 for $1,000 charged. I don't know what they charge retailers, if you mean square by saying they but I know that most companies charge retailers less % but they also charge them a flat monthly fee. You get a free device, you get paid the next day and there is no monthly fee even though you will probably get only a few charge tips a month so I think 2.75% is not a lot. But if to you it is a lot because retailers get charge on average 1.75% then go ahead and sign up with a retail account with some other company. We'll see how much you will save when you add an average $15 flat monthly fee and device rental fee (if you get accepted at all). No offense but you sound like my uncle Ed who always drives 6 miles on Sunday in his old Chevy with a "nice" big block just to get a gallon of milk at a local store because he refuses to "overpay" for the milk when he gets the rest of his groceries at the nearby store. "Always save money when you can" he tells me. Yep, he "saves" a dollar every weekend getting his milk but somehow he doesn't get it, that he spends about $1.50 on gas going to that store for that milk.


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## LastGenerationHumanDriver

I take tips via square, have a sign indicating that they are appreciated, but not expected -- though not included in Uber pricing, and don't worry about deactivation because rates suck without the tips. The sign helps a lot.


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## JeffD1964

Older Chauffeur said:


> What a disgusting thread, beginning with the OP's avatar/name /location.


Why?


billybengal said:


> I was saying that you pay $27.50 for $1,000 charged. I don't know what they charge retailers, if you mean square by saying they but I know that most companies charge retailers less % but they also charge them a flat monthly fee. You get a free device, you get paid the next day and there is no monthly fee even though you will probably get only a few charge tips a month so I think 2.75% is not a lot. But if to you it is a lot because retailers get charge on average 1.75% then go ahead and sign up with a retail account with some other company. We'll see how much you will save when you add an average $15 flat monthly fee and device rental fee (if you get accepted at all). No offense but you sound like my uncle Ed who always drives 6 miles on Sunday in his old Chevy with a "nice" big block just to get a gallon of milk at a local store because he refuses to "overpay" for the milk when he gets the rest of his groceries at the nearby store. "Always save money when you can" he tells me. Yep, he "saves" a dollar every weekend getting his milk but somehow he doesn't get it, that he spends about $1.50 on gas going to that store for that milk.


your estimation of me is a bit off. I'm not truly that kind of miser, but I understand why you say that. My comment about how high the rates were comes from a previous business and no, it's not too much to pay to get some vs. No tips. You and I are in agreement. I was pushing you for specific data, as I haven't started driving yet and (for once in my life) am trying to understand as much as possible before proceeding. Please don't take my skeptic reply as disbelief or discounting your viewpoint. I get it. And I appreciate the well thought out replies. Thank you.


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## UberDude2

ThugNi99a said:


> Customers often ask me if they can tip thru the app. When I say no the only way to tip is with cash a lot of customers claim that they do not have cash on them. As a result, I have started to accept other forms of tip. First I made a sign which said "I accept various forms of tip," and I stuck it behind the headrests and on my center console. When customers ask me what forms I accept, I explain that I prefer cash, but in the absence of cash I also accept the following (listed in order of most preferred first):
> 
> 1. Blowjobs - I am always up for a good sloppy BJ from my female customers (females only)
> 
> 2. Alcohol - any form of alcohol will suffice
> 
> 3. Cocaine - I don't usually do coke but its great on nights when I pull 16 hour shifts. It helps me stay awake.
> 
> 4. Weed - I don't smoke that much but I share with customers and they love it. Gets me 5 stars, especially with the under 30 crowd.
> 
> 5. Ecstasy or Mollies - I take this and I resell to passengers I am dropping off to the clubs or after hours.
> 
> 6. Handjobs - I accept hand jobs from female customers (female only)
> 
> 7. Water and Candy - I tell them they can buy water and candy which I can give to other passengers. Helps me get 5 stars from the cheapskates who think my car is a convenience store.
> 
> So far I have received at least one of everything I have listed above. I also noticed that I am getting tipped more often. What are your thoughts? Has anyone else received any other forms of tip not listed above? Please share.


Thanks ThugNi99a, i'm laughing out loud in the office and it has everyone looking my way. My work is never this funny so they know i'm up to something!


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## suewho

ThugNi99a said:


> The hand job I received was from a girl I picked up from her friend's bachelorette party. She was super drunk and I helped her connect her Bluetooth to my sound system so she can play her tunes. When we got to her house she said she wished she had something to tip me. I didn't have the sign up at the time but I explained. Long story short she gave me a hand job but she insisted I wear a condom because she didn't want to get semen on her hands. Yeah pretty nasty stuff basically.


yeah, nasty all right. Cheap and nasty. Who'd give a hand job to a complete stranger, gaaahhhh... come to think of it, who'd give a ******* to a complete stranger


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## suewho

Actually it surprises me ( considering your obviously low moral standards) that you limit yourself to "females" only. Just think, if you accepted them from males as well, youd get twice as many


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## UPModerator

This thread is uhh... I dunno. But I have to close it.


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