# Things we love to hear........... NOT!



## UberLou (May 5, 2015)

What are some of the things you hate to hear from a rider when you first arrive and/or they enter your vehicle?

Mime: Oh, I'll direct you.....


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## Emp9 (Apr 9, 2015)

"we have 3 stops all close by" "im running late " "its cold turn that ac off" 84 degrees outside.


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## MW415 (Feb 18, 2015)

I have to be somewhere in 20 minutes for something very important............ Knowing it takes 30+ minutes where there coming from in rush hour.


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## UberLou (May 5, 2015)

(UberX) Can we get 7 in there?


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## JaguaGirl (May 17, 2015)

The car wasn't moving on the GPS. Thought you were lost!


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## TREVORNATION (Apr 29, 2015)

"are you familiar with Clarendon?"

(neighborhood in Arlington VA, end up there a lot, I know we all do if you drive in VA)

"is this the fastest way"

(stuck in traffic on GW Parkway going to Reagan)
no, I always go the slowest way, do you have a plane to catch or something?


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## TREVORNATION (Apr 29, 2015)

JaguaGirl said:


> The car wasn't moving on the GPS. Thought you were lost!


Actually received a call on something just like this. PAX noticed I had stopped. I was at a backed up traffic light. They told me of a new road that had opened up that would take me out of the traffic so I learn't something new that day !


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## uberpilot (Jun 15, 2015)

" Can i get the Aux cord?"
" Hey go this way it's faster"
"I just need to run by the store can you wait?"
"Can you start the trip after we pick my friend up?"
"Do you have any snacks?"
"Do you think will be the traffic?" ( Any business person at 3PM going to the airport)


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## uberpilot (Jun 15, 2015)

" Can i get the Aux cord?"
" Hey go this way it's faster"
"I just need to run by the store can you wait?"
"Can you start the trip after we pick my friend up?"
"Do you have any snacks?"
"Do you think will be the traffic?" ( Any business person at 3PM going to the airport)


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## JaguaGirl (May 17, 2015)

TREVORNATION said:


> Actually received a call on something just like this. PAX noticed I had stopped. I was at a backed up traffic light. They told me of a new road that had opened up that would take me out of the traffic so I learn't something new that day !


Love & appreciate pax like that. Unfortunately, that's not the masses....


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## Oh My (Dec 26, 2014)

UberLou said:


> (UberX) Can we get 7 in there?


Wow, they actually ASK? Where are you from?


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## Oh My (Dec 26, 2014)

Just go turn RIGHT, up there!


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## ReviTULize (Sep 29, 2014)

Oh My said:


> Just go turn RIGHT, up there!


I've never understood why this is a big deal for some drivers. They know where they're going...what's wrong with it? Some of my pax will give me the cross streets and I just get there. As we get close, they tell me where to go. What's the issue?


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## Kingo9 (May 20, 2015)

"Can we fit 9?"


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## ReviTULize (Sep 29, 2014)

"Surge is bull$hit!!"


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## Actionjax (Oct 6, 2014)

May favorite

"You must be making a ton of money doing this!"

"Do you mind waiting for my friend she is just on her way down" (8 min later)


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## Oh My (Dec 26, 2014)

ReviTULize said:


> I've never understood why this is a big deal for some drivers. They know where they're going...what's wrong with it? Some of my pax will give me the cross streets and I just get there. As we get close, they tell me where to go. What's the issue?


Uh, maybe because they didn't STATE a destination address or intersection before COMMANDING "Just turn right at the next corner!!!!!" the second they close the door? Like you're thier *****?

And you obviously don't drive in a major city downtown in extremely dense/chaotic traffic where "I'll just direct you" while they're talking on the phone or playing Candy Crush DOESN'T work.

Yeah, THEY might know where they're going but "I" don't! And there's a high probability we might have to make 3 detours on a 2 mile jaunt because of trucks unloading, gas company workers just tore up the road, ambulances, bum lying in the street, dead bicyclist.......MY car doesn't budge until I have a destination address or intersection. And in the city, if just an intersection is stated and the answer to my question of "You just want the corner?" is "Yeah, that's fine" - then just the corner it is! I'm not making my car do a cartwheel and backflip once there because, most likely, I can't now.

Happy Ubering in Appalachia.


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## Oh My (Dec 26, 2014)

And the most common question riders immediately ask in Chicago now is "Are you familiar with the city?" because the latest round of Uber drivers aren't. They're from Indiana or some far suburb. They exhausted all the drivers that live in or are familiar with the city.

I already have enough Iowa transplants as neighbors and I'm sure there will be more.


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## UberLou (May 5, 2015)

I wish Uber took EBT.....


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## Emp9 (Apr 9, 2015)

"take a right here"
yes that is why my blinker is on.


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## UberLou (May 5, 2015)

Emp9 said:


> "take a right here"
> yes that is why my blinker is on.


That happened last night as I was turning right.


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## UberLou (May 5, 2015)

Wooo weeee, I just crop dusted! Rider actually said that getting into my car.


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## UberXTampa (Nov 20, 2014)

Where are you originally from?

That's the most annoying question of all. Why people ask this? I never do. I am more interested in what people do and not where they are from.


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## Fuzzyelvis (Dec 7, 2014)

but the other drivers tell me they're making lots of money


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## RockinEZ (Apr 29, 2015)

JaguaGirl said:


> The car wasn't moving on the GPS. Thought you were lost!


I dislike app watching PAX. When one tells me my icon was spinning on the app, and they almost canceled, I want to hit the PAX ejection seat... in a tunnel.

I explain that the PAX app is only a graphic representation of the general location and direction of the UberX car. It is by no means accurate.

When a car icon spins, it means the car is stopped at an intersection. If it is Downtown San Diego or Balboa park, it is most likely the police diverting traffic and controlling traffic manually resulting in longer than normal stops at intersections... (Then I smile real big) The app only had to be good enough for Uber software to sell the app to Uber management as a finished software project.


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## RockinEZ (Apr 29, 2015)

ReviTULize said:


> I've never understood why this is a big deal for some drivers. They know where they're going...what's wrong with it? Some of my pax will give me the cross streets and I just get there. As we get close, they tell me where to go. What's the issue?


So someone will know where to start looking for your body.......


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## Oh My (Dec 26, 2014)

Emp9 said:


> "take a right here"
> yes that is why my blinker is on.


Don't ya love that too? Let's see, you obviously made all the right turns for the first 3.99 miles of the 4.0 mile trip without a peep out of them but suddenly they have to step in and direct you those last 2 turns like you're stoopid and might get lost at this point.


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## UberFodder (Jun 11, 2015)

UberXTampa said:


> Where are you originally from?
> 
> That's the most annoying question of all. Why people ask this? I never do. I am more interested in what people do and not where they are from.


It's a topic of conversation, I don't understand why it upsets you. My guess is Russia, or some other Eastern European country.


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## RockinEZ (Apr 29, 2015)

UberFodder said:


> It's a topic of conversation, I don't understand why it upsets you. My guess is Russia, or some other Eastern European country.


I get the "where are you originally from" question all the time. I was born 100 miles from here. 
I am obviously a ****** with a West Coast accent. I generally answer "Up the road a bit".


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## Oh My (Dec 26, 2014)

UberFodder said:


> It's a topic of conversation, I don't understand why it upsets you. My guess is Russia, or some other Eastern European country.


I agree. Some of the questions are simpleton conversation starters if they want to talk like the "How long have you been driving for Uber?". However I, anyway, have the instinct to know when the questions cross a line, become condescending or flat-out rude.

"How much money do you make?"

"Where are you from? Because, ya know, some people just come to Chicago on a bus and look for a job when they get here". (I'm "White" btw and people have commented on my "Chicago accent" even though I'm not from here. Get over the ethnic intimidation shit).

"What did you do before Uber?"

"What neighborhood do you live in? Do you own or rent there?"

Can I ask

"Are you going to this club to get laid or just to dance tonight?".

"Does your daddy rent that apartment for you?".

"Why don't you have a car?".

"Do you kiss your Mom with that mouth?"

"How's that bubble gum tonight? It sure sounds good. Watermelon/Green Apple Fusion kinda clashes with the Dolce & Gabana "The One" unisex fragrance".

"Did you eat a whole bulb of garlic with that craft beer and hot dog?" (head hanging out of window while trying to steer).


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## YouWishYouKnewMe (May 26, 2015)

I thought you were on the other side
At least stay put
As terrible as your spot of choice is or tell me somehow beforehand


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## Oh My (Dec 26, 2014)

YouWishYouKnewMe said:


> I thought you were on the other side
> At least stay put
> As terrible as your spot of choice is or tell me somehow beforehand


Aieght.


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## Fuzzyelvis (Dec 7, 2014)

Oh My said:


> Don't ya love that too? Let's see, you obviously made all the right turns for the first 3.99 miles of the 4.0 mile trip without a peep out of them but suddenly they have to step in and direct you those last 2 turns like you're stoopid and might get lost at this point.


I had someone do that the ENTIRE trip. Eventually I turned up the volume on the GPS so it would say it first (because they were always too late for it to have been useful anyway). They STILL did it. Right after the GPS. I just started saying every single time: "Yes, that's EXACTLY what the GPS just said. "

But they kept it up anyway. Right to the bitter end. Way to get a crappy rating ******bag!


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## Fuzzyelvis (Dec 7, 2014)

ReviTULize said:


> I've never understood why this is a big deal for some drivers. They know where they're going...what's wrong with it? Some of my pax will give me the cross streets and I just get there. As we get close, they tell me where to go. What's the issue?


Are all of your pax wonderful at giving directions ahead of the turn and letting you know what lane to be in? Because I learned my first week I get the drunks who fall asleep on the freeway and the girls who point left while saying turn right. Usually as I'm halfway through the intersection and on the third lane over from where I need to be.

But maybe I'm just unlucky....


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## Fuzzyelvis (Dec 7, 2014)

After they tell me they would tip but don't have cash and I tell them I have a square reader:


.....


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## Guber (Aug 29, 2014)

Oh My said:


> Wow, they actually ASK? Where are you from?


Ss


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## YouWishYouKnewMe (May 26, 2015)

Enough with the chit chat akhmed


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## Fuzzyelvis (Dec 7, 2014)

I just LOVE Uber!


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## Fuzzyelvis (Dec 7, 2014)

You don't mind going through Taco Bell do you?


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## Sydney Uber (Apr 15, 2014)

"I don't feel so good".......


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## Fuzzyelvis (Dec 7, 2014)

You are the best Uber driver ever! 

(Unless you tip. Then you're allowed to say that).


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## ReviTULize (Sep 29, 2014)

Fuzzyelvis said:


> Are all of your pax wonderful at giving directions ahead of the turn and letting you know what lane to be in? Because I learned my first week I get the drunks who fall asleep on the freeway and the girls who point left while saying turn right. Usually as I'm halfway through the intersection and on the third lane over from where I need to be.
> 
> But maybe I'm just unlucky....


No...I get that too, although rarely. I just don't sweat it. I guess since I'm in my early 40's I don't let that stuff get to me. GPS at your fingertips hasn't been around forever, ya know.


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## Fuzzyelvis (Dec 7, 2014)

Travis is SO hot!

Actually no one has ever said that. But if they do that's a body that will never be found.


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## GooberX (May 13, 2015)

UberLou said:


> (UberX) Can we get 7 in there?


YOU: "Only if she (point to one you like) sits on my lap."


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## Fuzzyelvis (Dec 7, 2014)

ReviTULize said:


> No...I get that too, although rarely. I just don't sweat it. I guess since I'm in my early 40's I don't let that stuff get to me. GPS at your fingertips hasn't been around forever, ya know.


I'm 50 and I've been driving for pay one way or another in my town since 1991. GPS has nothing to do with it.

I also deliver pizza. You know what happens when someone tries to order pizza without an address?

Nothing.


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## JaguaGirl (May 17, 2015)

RockinEZ said:


> I dislike app watching PAX. When one tells me my icon was spinning on the app, and they almost canceled, I want to hit the PAX ejection seat... in a tunnel.
> 
> I explain that the PAX app is only a graphic representation of the general location and direction of the UberX car. It is by no means accurate.
> 
> When a car icon spins, it means the car is stopped at an intersection. If it is Downtown San Diego or Balboa park, it is most likely the police diverting traffic and controlling traffic manually resulting in longer than normal stops at intersections... (Then I smile real big) The app only had to be good enough for Uber software to sell the app to Uber management as a finished software project.


It's even more annoying when they sit behind you with the app GPS set, checking your route against the app as you drive. You can see them looking @ it the whole time & can hear the turn by turn ping alert.... Makes me wanna go postal & throw a damn phone.

Trying to remain calm but it's quickly becoming a nails screeching on the chalkboard pet peeve.


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## ReviTULize (Sep 29, 2014)

Fuzzyelvis said:


> I'm 50 and I've been driving for pay one way or another in my town since 1991. GPS has nothing to do with it.
> 
> I also deliver pizza. You know what happens when someone tries to order pizza without an address?
> 
> Nothing.


GPS has everything to do with it. Ubers whole business model is based around it. I need to know how to get to you...same as pizza...one way(from the restaurant).


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## ReviTULize (Sep 29, 2014)

JaguaGirl said:


> It's even more annoying when they sit behind you with the app GPS set, checking your route against the app as you drive. You can see them looking @ it the whole time & can hear the turn by turn ping alert.... Makes me wanna go postal & throw a damn phone.
> 
> Trying to remain calm but it's quickly becoming a nails screeching on the chalkboard pet peeve.


Does this happen all the time? DC has a lot of tourists...I'm sure you would see that occasionally. I would just ask them to turn the volume down...but I understand them doing it, a little. Some people are just uncomfortable in another city/country. They may be looking at their ETA, or something.
I had a guy doing it to me in the front seat once and come to find out, he was just using it to see how much further. He had motion sickness and paired with alcohol he thought he could make it and was just watching the eta. He asked me to pull over 1/4 mile from his destination, but he didn't get sick in my car. He wasn't drunk either. Kudos to him.


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## JaguaGirl (May 17, 2015)

ReviTULize said:


> Does this happen all the time? DC has a lot of tourists...I'm sure you would see that occasionally. I would just ask them to turn the volume down...but I understand them doing it, a little. Some people are just uncomfortable in another city/country. They may be looking at their ETA, or something.
> I had a guy doing it to me in the front seat once and come to find out, he was just using it to see how much further. He had motion sickness and paired with alcohol he thought he could make it and was just watching the eta. He asked me to pull over 1/4 mile from his destination, but he didn't get sick in my car. He wasn't drunk either. Kudos to him.


Lol. I could understand if it was tourists. Nope!!! It happens ALL the time w/ locals. I rarely have tourists in my car. Tourists probably use taxis more b/c they can street hail them. Also, DC is not that big. No need for them to look @ turn by turn GPS. They're usually only going a few blocks. Way to be positive though.... Thanks!


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## ReviTULize (Sep 29, 2014)

JaguaGirl said:


> Lol. I could understand if it was tourists. Nope!!! It happens ALL the time w/ locals. I rarely have tourists in my car. Tourists probably use taxis more b/c they can street hail them. Also, DC is not that big. No need for them to look @ turn by turn GPS. They're usually only going a few blocks. Way to be positive though.... Thanks!


It's so wild how different it can be from market to market.


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## JaguaGirl (May 17, 2015)

ReviTULize said:


> It's so wild how different it can be from market to market.


Yep! Actually, I welcome tourists b/c they're grateful & not so judgmental, looking for minute reasons to ding your rating. Tourist tend to trust you to take them where they want to go & are more likely to tip. In my DC experience. I don't know how the other DC drivers feel about this.


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## Sherif Elkattawy (May 25, 2015)

UberLou said:


> I wish Uber took EBT.....


LOL ah the wishes!!


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## Fuzzyelvis (Dec 7, 2014)

ReviTULize said:


> GPS has everything to do with it. Ubers whole business model is based around it. I need to know how to get to you...same as pizza...one way(from the restaurant).


How does GPS have anything to do with the pax feeling it necessary to give me turn by turn directions rather than just tell me their destination?

I don't even use GPS a lot of the time. And when I do its the car GPS and they can clearly see the screen (its bigger than most I've been told).

The point is I don't deliver pizza by someone telling me each turn. They HAVE to give me an address. Why do pax act like it's so much better to tell me turn by turn where to go?


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## ReviTULize (Sep 29, 2014)

Fuzzyelvis said:


> (its bigger than most I've been told).


Well, we've all been told that...I hope.

You're missing my point. Who really cares? Sure, the destination is nice...but why does it have to be so necessary that a driver gets ticked off about it? Miss a turn...big deal! Their fault


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## UBERxGc (Feb 8, 2015)

You don't have any water?!


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## Oh My (Dec 26, 2014)

Fuzzyelvis said:


> Are all of your pax wonderful at giving directions ahead of the turn and letting you know what lane to be in? Because I learned my first week I get the drunks who fall asleep on the freeway and the girls who point left while saying turn right. Usually as I'm halfway through the intersection and on the third lane over from where I need to be.
> 
> But maybe I'm just unlucky....


Yes, I've flat out told them sternly "If you want to direct me, let me know well ahead of time before the turn". I no longer let them "direct" me though. If there's a preferred route, let it be known ahead of time. And this will not include alleys, unsafe u-turns and cutting through parking lots.

Yesterday.......guy has destination entered in app. It's 5pm. I ask/confirm "You don't want the highway at this time of day do you?". (GPS always leads you on the highway even if for 1/2 mile). "No" he says. All is well until........I'm passing an intersection "OMG, you can turn right here on Kinzie!". "WHAT?!", I ask. His response? "Oh, I forgot I'm not going home, going to SoHo house".


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## Oh My (Dec 26, 2014)

ReviTULize said:


> Does this happen all the time? DC has a lot of tourists...I'm sure you would see that occasionally. I would just ask them to turn the volume down...but I understand them doing it, a little. Some people are just uncomfortable in another city/country. They may be looking at their ETA, or something.
> I had a guy doing it to me in the front seat once and come to find out, he was just using it to see how much further. He had motion sickness and paired with alcohol he thought he could make it and was just watching the eta. He asked me to pull over 1/4 mile from his destination, but he didn't get sick in my car. He wasn't drunk either. Kudos to him.


No, the natives do it too. One girl wants to go to Wrigleyville from downtown. We're right at Lake Shore Drive entrance. No brainer. Heading that way she's tinkering with her phone and wants to take the highway (other side of downtown). Makes no sense to me but whatever she wants. Snake back through downtown traffic the other way. Plays with phone. "Oh yeah, Lake Shore Drive, let's take Lake Shore!". Ride over. Find another driver. Not causing me to get in a wreck.

Do your route research with your toy beforehand. NOT in the back seat of my car.

The only option at this point is to wear a Bluetooth like the cab drivers and ignore them.


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## limepro (Mar 7, 2015)

I always get asked for crazy Uber stories and sadly/luckily I don't have any.


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## JaguaGirl (May 17, 2015)

Oh My said:


> Yes, I've flat out told them sternly "If you want to direct me, let me know well ahead of time before the turn". I no longer let them "direct" me though. If there's a preferred route, let it be known ahead of time. And this will not include alleys, unsafe u-turns and cutting through parking lots.
> 
> Yesterday.......guy has destination entered in app. It's 5pm. I ask/confirm "You don't want the highway at this time of day do you?". (GPS always leads you on the highway even if for 1/2 mile). "No" he says. All is well until........I'm passing an intersection "OMG, you can turn right here on Kinzie!". "WHAT?!", I ask. His response? "Oh, I forgot I'm not going home, going to SoHo house".


Equally irritating is when they huff & puff, like we should know the route they have in their head but don't speak up when you ask their preferred route & say, "I don't know. What does GPS say?"  Then when you pass the street they have in their head, they do the above.... Makes me wanna holla. Lol

& then understar you b/c of a perceived inefficient route. Sorry, people....I only grew up here, live here, am a Realtor here & learned to drive on these streets @ 15yrs old but nope....I have no IDEA where I'm going. GPS is god


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## Uber-Doober (Dec 16, 2014)

On the 405 South to LAX, bumper to bumper, stop and go. 
85 year old woman in the back says: We always take Sepulveda... it's faster. 
I move from the HOV lane all the way over to the right lane (sick of her historical chatter from when L.A. was a stage coach stop) and tell her... "Mam, take a look at the traffic on Sepulveda. We're moving, they aren't.


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## OCBob (Jan 20, 2015)

1) Last Uber driver let us do it
2) I would tip you but I don't have cash (my response is "I have a square reader" which might mean I caught them in a lie and no tip coming)
3) Can we stop to get something to eat before my stop? (drive thru has 5 cars deep)


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## UberLou (May 5, 2015)

Lou, why are you not a famous Model? You are to Studley to be an Uber driver.

I'm so sick of that question........


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## Emp9 (Apr 9, 2015)

Oh My said:


> Don't ya love that too? Let's see, you obviously made all the right turns for the first 3.99 miles of the 4.0 mile trip without a peep out of them but suddenly they have to step in and direct you those last 2 turns like you're stoopid and might get lost at this point.


lol, oh yeah i love the last few turn directions after a 20min ride weaving in and out of narrow streets and one ways, shows me who is boss.

also this .
me- oh you are going to fairfax great i live there too i can go home.
pax-turn left.
me- yes i know the route well
pax- turn here on 66 west.
me- yep thats the way i normally go.
pax- take this exit
me-***** I TOLD YOU I LIVE HERE!!!!!


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## ARIV005 (Mar 4, 2015)

When they first jump in, the ask "How much will the fare be"? 

I tell em as much as a pack of gum. Fkn loser.


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## Oh My (Dec 26, 2014)

ARIV005 said:


> When they first jump in, the ask "How much will the fare be"?
> 
> I tell em as much as a pack of gum. Fkn loser.


Yeah, one asked me mid-trip "How much are we up to now?". I wanted to tell her we're at about 98 cents now and I receive an alert when your credit card reaches it's limit and the car automatically shuts off within 90 seconds so we can pull over and put the hood up.

I like the Englishwoman in my backseat doing the hipster neighborhood here calling me "Cabbie, oh cabbie, where is.....". She thought I was a cab driver too and STILL didn't tip. I wanted to tell her they really need to watch their back dressed like that around there. You'd have thought they were going to meet the Queen. They really needed to be wearing ripped jeans highlighting their muffin top, flip-flops and have a tatoo on their face.


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## Oh My (Dec 26, 2014)

Emp9 said:


> lol, oh yeah i love the last few turn directions after a 20min ride weaving in and out of narrow streets and one ways, shows me who is boss.
> 
> also this .
> me- oh you are going to fairfax great i live there too i can go home.
> ...


I think some of them are shocked you can afford to live in the same place they do. I want to ask them if they heard the latest Uber ad on the radio "I'm a school teacher and love the extra cash for the Summer" then the other one says something like "I'm a brain surgeon and Uber helps me stay busy when business is slow to pay off my student loans" the last one has a very obvious former cab driver African accent "I work less hours and make more money".


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## corey389 (Jan 8, 2015)

uberpilot said:


> " Can i get the Aux cord?"
> " Hey go this way it's faster"
> "I just need to run by the store can you wait?"
> "Can you start the trip after we pick my friend up?"
> ...


NO
NO
NO
NO
NO
YES


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## Gemgirlla (Oct 16, 2014)

ReviTULize said:


> I've never understood why this is a big deal for some drivers. They know where they're going...what's wrong with it? Some of my pax will give me the cross streets and I just get there. As we get close, they tell me where to go. What's the issue?


My experience is that sometimes they forget I don't know where we are going and forget to continue giving me directions


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## Oh My (Dec 26, 2014)

Gemgirlla said:


> My experience is that sometimes they forget I don't know where we are going and forget to continue giving me directions


They got caught up in the heat of the moment of rating their driver and forgot where they were going themselves.


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## RockinEZ (Apr 29, 2015)

limepro said:


> I always get asked for crazy Uber stories and sadly/luckily I don't have any.


I say "I take normal people to normal places". I do meet a lot of nice folks, and do have a lot of interesting conversations. Sometimes I mention that.
When asked if I meet a lot of women, or asked inside after a trip, I reply "I have no intention of being in tomorrow's paper."


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## elelegido (Sep 24, 2014)

"Do you have any water/snacks?"

"No... I was kind of hoping you'd have some for me."


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## Gemgirlla (Oct 16, 2014)

elelegido said:


> "Do you have any water/snacks?"
> 
> "No... I was kind of hoping you'd have some for me."


LOL that's a good response. WE should start telling paxs when they ask things like this that we were told that the paxs provide this for the driver. That's why the rates are so low. We work for food


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## JaguaGirl (May 17, 2015)

Gemgirlla said:


> LOL that's a good response. WE should start telling paxs when they ask things like this that we were told that the paxs provide this for the driver. That's why the rates are so low. We work for food


I just poured out a sweet tea from McAdies that a rider bought me. I felt bad but I couldn't drink it. Hmmm, I didn't have eyes on him making it. Trust no one.....lololololol


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## Gemgirlla (Oct 16, 2014)

Oh My said:


> They got caught up in the heat of the moment of rating their driver and forgot where they were going themselves.


Usually they are texting or on the phone.... or taking selfies LOL


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## Uber-licious (May 22, 2015)

"Can I finish my beer while we drive ?"


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## limepro (Mar 7, 2015)

I actually had someone ask if I had an aux cable...the ride was 4 minutes long. And another guy same day ask if he could connect his phone to my cars blue tooth...it was a 3 minute ride and I would have to stop and put the car in park to do it.


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## Emp9 (Apr 9, 2015)

"what country are you from? "

ummm i was born here i am half italian an tan. smh


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## Showa50 (Nov 30, 2014)

'thank you very much...5 stars'


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## Oh My (Dec 26, 2014)

Gemgirlla said:


> LOL that's a good response. WE should start telling paxs when they ask things like this that we were told that the paxs provide this for the driver. That's why the rates are so low. We work for food


I picked one couple up at an auto repair shop. They wanted to return to the scene where their car was rendered undriveable because of the beat-up, pot holed road under constrction and take pictures. So we get there and I stop at the edge of the construction. She says "No, up further". I said, "Let me get this straight. You just tore up your car on this but you want me to drive MY car down it?!" so her husband walks down the block to take pictures. 5 minutes pass, I shut car off and ask "How long is he going to be, I'm trying to put food on the table!". She handed me two $5 bills and called him.


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## UberLou (May 5, 2015)

Oh My said:


> I picked one couple up at an auto repair shop. They wanted to return to the scene where their car was rendered undriveable because of the beat-up, pot holed road under constrction and take pictures. So we get there and I stop at the edge of the construction. She says "No, up further". I said, "Let me get this straight. You just tore up your car on this but you want me to drive MY car down it?!" so her husband walks down the block to take pictures. 5 minutes pass, I shut car off and ask "How long is he going to be, I'm trying to put food on the table!". She handed me two $5 bills and called him.


Did you take a ratings hit to your knowledge?


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## Emp9 (Apr 9, 2015)

"no i will not do you any sexual favors for a reduced fare"

i hate that one.


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## Oh My (Dec 26, 2014)

limepro said:


> I actually had someone ask if I had an aux cable...the ride was 4 minutes long. And another guy same day ask if he could connect his phone to my cars blue tooth...it was a 3 minute ride and I would have to stop and put the car in park to do it.


One asked me if I had Bluetooth and I said NO. Whatever he wanted to do I'm not doing it. Moments later a call came in on my cars Bluetooth. I didn't say a word, just hit "Ignore" on the touch screen.


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## Oh My (Dec 26, 2014)

Sydney Uber said:


> "I don't feel so good".......


Yeah. I picked up this guy and his obese wife from a work Christmas party. It's freezing out and she immediately rolls down the window and starts breathing heavy talking about how she doesn't feel good and "always gets sick in cabs flinging all over". We're going all but 2 miles on side streets with a max speed of 30 (which you won't hit anyway). I wanted to ask, "Maybe it was the 3 cocktails followed by 2 lbs. of shrimp, 2 lbs of cheese whiz and crackers, followed by 3 glasses of champagne, the cookies, more shrimp, some wine, 4 lbs of chicken wings, platter of mostaccholi and the entire dessert tray".

They're from out of town and this was their first time using Uber. He's going to tell everyone about Uber as he's never heard of this and "OMG, I just pushed a button and you were right there in a minute". So, there must have been some crazy surge I didn't notice and the fare was about $20. He's gonna tell everyone about Uber and puke after his wife is done with the commode. Oh, and he tipped me too.


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## I have nuts (Mar 29, 2015)

JaguaGirl said:


> It's *even more annoying when they sit behind you with the app GPS set, checking your route against the app as you drive*. You can see them looking @ it the whole time & can hear the turn by turn ping alert.... Makes me wanna go postal & throw a damn phone.
> 
> Trying to remain calm but it's quickly becoming a nails screeching on the chalkboard pet peeve.


Lol, That has to be the most annoying or in the top three. I had a Asian chick do me like that last week. I'm using the GPS to find the address that she entered, and she's seating in the front seat(which made it even more annoying) using her own gps.


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## Oh My (Dec 26, 2014)

I have nuts said:


> Lol, That has to be the most annoying or in the top three. I had a Asian chick do me like that last week. I'm using the GPS to find the address that she entered, and she's seating in the front seat(which made it even more annoying) using her own gps.


98% of front seat riders are there for a reason. They have control issues.


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## I have nuts (Mar 29, 2015)

Sadly everything in this thread is true. The longer i do this the more I have a disdain for every Pax that gets into my car. 

Here's a few more.

1. "Can you roll down the windows?" No moron, that's why i have the window locks on.
2. "Can you turn off the AC"? No moron its 90 degrees outside.
3. "Can you wait five more minutes?" No moron I've already been waiting, I'm about to cancel.
4. "Can I smoke"? Yeah if you want to get punched in the face.
5. "Can I use your aux cord"? White boy proceeds to play rap song were every other word is the N world.
6. "This is my first Uber". Does it look like I care.


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## I have nuts (Mar 29, 2015)

Uber-licious said:


> "Can I finish my beer while we drive ?"


I let one idiot woman finish her wine in my back seat, which she proceeded to spill on my seats. Never again.


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## Oh My (Dec 26, 2014)

I have nuts said:


> I let one idiot women finish her wine in my back seat, which she proceeded to spill on my seats. Never again.


Once ***** asked if she could paint her nails. I was so surprised I just said "If you don't spill it". I must have emitted a "tone". She didn't paint them.

Another sat in the front seat, placed her paper Starbucks cup in between the tip of her knees and began to play with her phone. I told her she had to hold the cup.

Another jumps in with one of those vending machine type cups filled to the brim - with no lid - and sets it in the cup holders in the rear floor. I have an SUV and the roads here are bumpier than the jungle. Told him he had to hold it to.

I'm sure they rated me low and the latter had some smart ass comment to make when exiting. **** these people, they can take the bus.


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## Blaiser (Jun 28, 2015)

At 1 am, cute girl. She enter the car and the first thing she said:"I'm gonna puke"

Funny things, I put some garbage bag in my car that day for the first time. She ends up puking 3-4 time in the bag during the ride


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## Emp9 (Apr 9, 2015)

Blaiser said:


> At 1 am, cute girl. She enter the car and the first thing she said:"I'm gonna puke"
> 
> Funny things, I put some garbage bag in my car that day for the first time. She ends up puking 3-4 time in the bag during the ride


Pax "are you seth rogan"


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## JaguaGirl (May 17, 2015)

Last night, attempting to gain the incentive, I drove @ hours I normally don't. Bad call. It took one girl's friend 15 minutes to gather her out of my car. Wtf??? The drunk girl kept saying, give me one more minute. No....get the f**k out NOW. Next step police.


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## RockinEZ (Apr 29, 2015)

JaguaGirl said:


> Last night, attempting to gain the incentive, I drove @ hours I normally don't. Bad call. It took one firl's friend 15 minutes to gather her out of my car. Wtf??? The drunk girl kept saying, give me one more minute. No....get the f**k out NOW. Next step police.


After a couple passed out cold in my back seat, I have been considering carrying ammonia poppers. No one wants to smell an ammonia popper. If they ain't dead, they start movin' quick.


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## JaguaGirl (May 17, 2015)

RockinEZ said:


> After a couple passed out cold in my back seat, I have been considering carrying ammonia poppers. No one wants to smell an ammonia popper. If they ain't dead, they start movin' quick.


I got so disgusted, I said to HELL w/ the incentive..... Truly, you have to lose to gain w/ Uber's "incentives."


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## ARIV005 (Mar 4, 2015)

Emp9 said:


> "no i will not do you any sexual favors for a reduced fare"
> 
> i hate that one.


I'll have to handle that one on a case by case basis...


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## UberLou (May 5, 2015)

Do you have any Grey Poupon?


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## UberTaxPro (Oct 3, 2014)

"take me thru the Mcdonald's drive thru" when I hear that I know I'll finding french fries in the car for weeks


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## Emp9 (Apr 9, 2015)

"give us a few min , we have more bags"


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## ARIV005 (Mar 4, 2015)

A group of friends need to ALL be dropped off. .. they live next to eachother... Woooo hooo... another 0.08 minus 20%.


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## crazyb (Feb 16, 2015)

Emp9 said:


> "take a right here"
> yes that is why my blinker is on.


Love that one! Happens to me all the time! I once stopped at a light with my left blinker on and a girl put her finger in front on my face yelling at me to take a left turn pointing at the restaurant with the big sign which I was already turning into. I almost got into an accident because she blocked my vision.


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## UberLou (May 5, 2015)

You're not going to rape me are you?


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## Richard Cranium (Jun 25, 2015)

"Don't worry dude, I will sit on his/her lap, we aren't going that far"...When trying to stuff 5-7 people in.


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## Jeremyv81 (Jun 26, 2015)

UberLou said:


> You're not going to rape me are you?


"Not with that attitude, I'm not."


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## UberLou (May 5, 2015)

"Is this ride going to cost more than $X?"


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## PoorBasterd (Mar 6, 2015)

How about: when I reach the pickup point and the pax calls and asks: "I'm not quite ready yet. Can you wait 15 minutes?"


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## PoorBasterd (Mar 6, 2015)

JaguaGirl said:


> It's even more annoying when they sit behind you with the app GPS set, checking your route against the app as you drive. You can see them looking @ it the whole time & can hear the turn by turn ping alert.... Makes me wanna go postal & throw a damn phone.
> 
> Trying to remain calm but it's quickly becoming a nails screeching on the chalkboard pet peeve.


Any pax that does that in my car automatically get no more than three stars. If they were ******s on top of that, then two or maybe just one.


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## PoorBasterd (Mar 6, 2015)

OCBob said:


> 3) Can we stop to get something to eat before my stop? (drive thru has 5 cars deep)


Here in Toronto, Über dropped our per minute rate to 18 piddly cents. Unless they offer to buy me something descent at the drive through, forget it. No can do.


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## PoorBasterd (Mar 6, 2015)

elelegido said:


> "Do you have any water/snacks?"
> 
> "No... I was kind of hoping you'd have some for me."


To those pax that want bottled water, gum, mints and the driver to get out and open the door, that's what Über BLACK is for. If you want that level of service, you pay extra for it.

Über X is for stingy cheapskates who are paying for safe, efficient transportation from A To Be and nothing else.


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## JaguaGirl (May 17, 2015)

Can you turn the music down....(already on low)

This a**wipe got in my car today on the phone & wanted the radio turned down. No problem. Then he proceeds to pray or read Bible or Quran out loud. I ask him, do you want me to turn the radio off. He says, no! Then then then....about a mile later, he starts making all sorts of noise, on FaceTime w/ his daughter, reading, asks to use my charger & then then then....he says, can you turn the radio off!!! Wtf??? Dude, the radio was on volume 1 & I asked you 1st. Talk about a control freak-2 stars.


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## PoorBasterd (Mar 6, 2015)

Emp9 said:


> Pax "are you seth rogan"


Answer: "If I was Seth Rogan, do you think I'd be dicking around with Über!?"


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## PoorBasterd (Mar 6, 2015)

UberLou said:


> You're not going to rape me are you?


If a pax asked me that, I'd suggest that maybe she should end the trip here and see if she can get a female Über driver.....that's not a lesbian.


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## Sydney Uber (Apr 15, 2014)

A loud wet fart.


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## LEAFdriver (Dec 28, 2014)

"*Beep, beep, beep, beep*" (After you've been sitting in your car for over an hour with NO PING (Beep) and decide to get out of your car and walk about 30 ft to stretch your legs and throw away some fast food trash in the nearest parking lot trashcan while wearing your bluetooth headset and leaving your phone in the car. Looking like a total idiot you make a mad dash back to the car only to see "Request Expired".)


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## elelegido (Sep 24, 2014)

PoorBasterd said:


> To those pax that want bottled water, gum, mints and the driver to get out and open the door, that's what Über BLACK is for. If you want that level of service, you pay extra for it.
> 
> Über X is for stingy cheapskates who are paying for safe, efficient transportation from A To Be and nothing else.


Correct on all counts.


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## Oh My (Dec 26, 2014)

elelegido said:


> Correct on all counts.


This 20-something entitled cheapskate in the luxury rental apartment tower at 400 N. LaSalle in Chicago that her hymie parents obviously pay for called me within 20 seconds of the ping with "Where are you?!". Clue #1. I was 3 blocks away. Upon arrival I noticed this was a minimum fare to just blocks away. Clue #2. I waited 4 minutes for Ariel in a hurry. Clue #3. She finally walks out with a rolling suitcase and stares at me as if I'm going to jump out and greet her and roll out the red carpet or something for $3.38. I told her "The trunk is open". She said some shit about "If this is too much for you........". I drove off.

The door man (which should have helped Miss Thang with her luggage and held his hand out for a tip) laughed too as he watched this movie. He was black too. And they used to kneel in front of these Jews to buy their dated houses for pennies on the dollar. They used to "endear" each other.

You wanted a $3.38 ride with no expectation of tipping? Even after carrying your bags? ****** got a $4.00 cancellation fee instead. Welcome to Obamanation.


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## JaguaGirl (May 17, 2015)

Oh My said:


> This 20-something entitled cheapskate in the luxury rental apartment tower at 400 N. LaSalle in Chicago that her hymie parents obviously pay for called me within 20 seconds of the ping with "Where are you?!". Clue #1. I was 3 blocks away. Upon arrival I noticed this was a minimum fare to just blocks away. Clue #2. I waited 4 minutes for Ariel in a hurry. Clue #3. She finally walks out with a rolling suitcase and stares at me as if I'm going to jump out and greet her and roll out the red carpet or something for $3.38. I told her "The trunk is open". She said some shit about "If this is too much for you........". I drove off.
> 
> The door man (which should have helped Miss Thang with her luggage and held his hand out for a tip) laughed too as he watched this movie. He was black too. And they used to kneel in front of these Jews to buy their dated houses for pennies on the dollar. They used to "endear" each other.
> 
> You wanted a $3.38 ride with no expectation of tipping? Even after carrying your bags? ****** got a $4.00 cancellation fee instead. Welcome to Obamanation.


You had me cracking up until you brought race into it. Smdh


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## UberLou (May 5, 2015)

Oh My said:


> This 20-something entitled cheapskate in the luxury rental apartment tower at 400 N. LaSalle in Chicago that her hymie parents obviously pay for called me within 20 seconds of the ping with "Where are you?!". Clue #1. I was 3 blocks away. Upon arrival I noticed this was a minimum fare to just blocks away. Clue #2. I waited 4 minutes for Ariel in a hurry. Clue #3. She finally walks out with a rolling suitcase and stares at me as if I'm going to jump out and greet her and roll out the red carpet or something for $3.38. I told her "The trunk is open". She said some shit about "If this is too much for you........". I drove off.
> 
> The door man (which should have helped Miss Thang with her luggage and held his hand out for a tip) laughed too as he watched this movie. He was black too. And they used to kneel in front of these Jews to buy their dated houses for pennies on the dollar. They used to "endear" each other.
> 
> You wanted a $3.38 ride with no expectation of tipping? Even after carrying your bags? ****** got a $4.00 cancellation fee instead. Welcome to Obamanation.


Unless you started the trip how did you know it was a minimum fare? You would not know the destination.


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## Sydney Uber (Apr 15, 2014)

Being caught by surprise and Not hearing a deadly smelly silent fart


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## LA#1x3 (Jul 9, 2015)

Lool omg how funny tell them get a bike and direct urself instead of waisting my time 


UberLou said:


> What are some of the things you hate to hear from a rider when you first arrive and/or they enter your vehicle?
> 
> Mime: Oh, I'll direct you.....


 OMG how funny


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## JLA (Mar 26, 2015)

I had the "where are you" phone call. I had to go the other way down the street because of construction and once again she's calling me. Clearly she's sitting there following me on the map. Hell no. Cancel.


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## Oh My (Dec 26, 2014)

Oh My said:


> This 20-something entitled cheapskate in the luxury rental apartment tower at 400 N. LaSalle in Chicago that her hymie parents obviously pay for called me within 20 seconds of the ping with "Where are you?!". Clue #1. I was 3 blocks away. Upon arrival I noticed this was a minimum fare to just blocks away. Clue #2. I waited 4 minutes for Ariel in a hurry. Clue #3. She finally walks out with a rolling suitcase and stares at me as if I'm going to jump out and greet her and roll out the red carpet or something for $3.38. I told her "The trunk is open". She said some shit about "If this is too much for you........". I drove off.
> 
> The door man (which should have helped Miss Thang with her luggage and held his hand out for a tip) laughed too as he watched this movie. He was black too. And they used to kneel in front of these Jews to buy their dated houses for pennies on the dollar. They used to "endear" each other.
> 
> You wanted a $3.38 ride with no expectation of tipping? Even after carrying your bags? ****** got a $4.00 cancellation fee instead. Welcome to Obamanation.


The doormen are ALL black at all of these buildings. Isn't this peculiar in this day and age? Yes, things need to change, it's 2015 afterall. They get tips all day/everyday plus a wage plus holiday gifts. I'm not carrying bags for free when she just passed him with them. That's his job, not covered under UberX rates. Lord knows she might have to tip him and if she doesn't, she's on "the list". I've had many bellmen at hotels load the pax baggage for them, not me.

And I KNOW why we wait at these highrises for the pax "in the elevator now" right at the 4-1/2 minute mark (or much longer if you're willing to wait but I'm not)......because they don't want to interface with that doorman if they wait in the lobby for a minute or two. He's going to want to talk to them, establish a rapport so he can get a $5 bill everytime he holds the door open for them each time thet have a bag of groceries because he's so "nice" and give in to the game. Watch these people, they walk right by that doorman without even a hello or see ya later. They avoid them for obvious reasons.

Yeah, it is rather racial. All of us "White" men are rich and have always had an advantage since the day we were born with that silver spoon in our mouth. That chick would tip a black cab driver - guaranteed.


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## JaguaGirl (May 17, 2015)

Still don't see what race has to do with your story....


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## Oh My (Dec 26, 2014)

JaguaGirl said:


> Still don't see what race has to do with your story....


You wouldn't because you're a formerly "disadvantaged" female.


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## JaguaGirl (May 17, 2015)

Oh My said:


> You wouldn't because you're a formerly "disadvantaged" female.


 Lol. Wrong....


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## Sydney Uber (Apr 15, 2014)

Oh My said:


> The doormen are ALL black at all of these buildings. Isn't this peculiar in this day and age? Yes, things need to change, it's 2015 afterall. They get tips all day/everyday plus a wage plus holiday gifts. I'm not carrying bags for free when she just passed him with them. That's his job, not covered under UberX rates. Lord knows she might have to tip him and if she doesn't, she's on "the list". I've had many bellmen at hotels load the pax baggage for them, not me.
> 
> And I KNOW why we wait at these highrises for the pax "in the elevator now" right at the 4-1/2 minute mark (or much longer if you're willing to wait but I'm not)......because they don't want to interface with that doorman if they wait in the lobby for a minute or two. He's going to want to talk to them, establish a rapport so he can get a $5 bill everytime he holds the door open for them each time thet have a bag of groceries because he's so "nice" and give in to the game. Watch these people, they walk right by that doorman without even a hello or see ya later. They avoid them for obvious reasons.
> 
> Yeah, it is rather racial. All of us "White" men are rich and have always had an advantage since the day we were born with that silver spoon in our mouth. That chick would tip a black cab driver - guaranteed.


Thanks for the insight! Reality Bites!


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## PoorBasterd (Mar 6, 2015)

Sydney Uber said:


> Being caught by surprise and Not hearing a deadly smelly silent fart


You seem to have a thing about farts. No wonder your avatar is a chimpanzee.


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## Sydney Uber (Apr 15, 2014)

PoorBasterd said:


> You seem to have a thing about farts. No wonder your avatar is a chimpanzee.


I have 3 kids under 8. I thought I had a sophisticated sense of humour until one night I was watching Jon Stewart. Little 4yr old had fallen asleep on the couch. 6 yr old evil Sister comes back down to fetch little sis to bed. She sees a great opportunity that I didn't.

Miss 6yr old Hops up onto couch, in a flash straddles slumbering baby girl and farts right in her face! Baby's face instantly grimaces and eyes fly open, she instantly works out what has woken her up.

I'm rendered useless in fits of laughter, trying to impart any form of Fatherly discipline is impossible, as all my 6 yr old can see is Daddy laughing and very happy. (She's a sweet girl, would rob a bank if she thought it would make me happy).

It doesn't end there as Baby girl finally gets a fresh gulp of air then with all the strength an aggrieved 4 yr old can muster, punches her older sister fair in the Vag!

I've seen my share of street fights, girls going at it like banshees, but I had never witnessed that before. Jon Stewart had nothing on this comic duo!

I didn't notice my Wife had walked in just in time for the upper punch to the Vag, all she sees are my laughs of encouragement (yes that's what she sees) and 6yr old going down like a bag of spuds.

So yes, from that moment, and surrounded by a young household I guess a good fart joke gets me all the time


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## ironUberman (Jul 8, 2015)

Showa50 said:


> 'thank you very much...5 stars'


I think if they tell you "five stars" they are just screwing with you.


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## LarryA (Jun 18, 2015)

Pax enters, I'm running late, my flight is at.......! My response always is; I'm not traveling more than 5miles above speed limit and getting you there safely is my priority (no ticket for a scumbag). 

Remember, pax hardly tip even though you go above and beyond


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## SpecialK (May 18, 2015)

corey389 said:


> NO
> NO
> NO
> NO
> ...


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## Emp9 (Apr 9, 2015)

"oh its not far at all, ill guide you, no need to put it in" probably the worst means they will turn by turn you and its a min fare waste of time.


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## Jam Val (May 14, 2015)

"Wow! Only $12 to the airport! When I got here, I took a cab from the airport and it was $25 plus I had to tip him cause I felt guilty" ---- passenger who didn't tip me.


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