# Does anyone feel a bit like a barbarian if they now have to sometimes use the alleyway?



## Young Kim (Jan 28, 2015)

I will confess something here... I am a bit embarrassed to admit it. But indeed I have resorted to a few alleyways to alleviate the burden on my bladder during my overnight shift in Chicago. I would never imagine doing such a thing pre-pandemic. But now, almost all the places are closed late at night for patrons to use their bathrooms (which I am certain everyone in my working shift period also sees). I am quite careful to monitor my fluid intake and plan out bathroom breaks (usually at the UberEats delivery restaurants). Driving all night in Chicago I had all the bathroom friendly restaurants in my mind. But lately, yes, I have had to engage in behavior I would admit that makes me feel uncivilized...

Of course I have water and soap to clean my hands after going number one in an alleyway (never got close to having to do a number two). But does anyone else share feeling a bit like a barbarian in engaging in such behavior? Sounds odd and many may not share my misgivings. But I never thought I'd find myself in a situation where I'd have to resort to such actions which I imagined I'd see only in drunk pax I'd pick up from bars at 3:30 am.

I feel a bit ashamed in sharing this. I dunno know why. But what I don't feel comfortable about is how such actions are now starting to feel "comfortable". When you do something you don't like to do, you don't want such an action to start becoming acceptable to you. ... But it is late, and my shift is drawing to a close, and I have 25 minutes to my house. And I have to pee... But I will maintain my dignity at least this time and make it home. At least tonight...


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## MikhailCA (Dec 8, 2019)

Young Kim said:


> I will confess something here... I am a bit embarrassed to admit it. But indeed I have resorted to a few alleyways to alleviate the burden on my bladder during my overnight shift in Chicago. I would never imagine doing such a thing pre-pandemic. But now, almost all the places are closed late at night for patrons to use their bathrooms (which I am certain everyone in my working shift period also sees). I am quite careful to monitor my fluid intake and plan out bathroom breaks (usually at the UberEats delivery restaurants). Driving all night in Chicago I had all the bathroom friendly restaurants in my mind. But lately, yes, I have had to engage in behavior I would admit that makes me feel uncivilized...
> 
> Of course I have water and soap to clean my hands after going number one in an alleyway (never got close to having to do a number two). But does anyone else share feeling a bit like a barbarian in engaging in such behavior? Sounds odd and many may not share my misgivings. But I never thought I'd find myself in a situation where I'd have to resort to such actions which I imagined I'd see only in drunk pax I'd pick up from bars at 3:30 am.
> 
> I feel a bit ashamed in sharing this. I dunno know why. But what I don't feel comfortable about is how such actions are now starting to feel "comfortable". When you do something you don't like to do, you don't want such an action to start becoming acceptable to you. ... But it is late, and my shift is drawing to a close, and I have 25 minutes to my house. And I have to pee... But I will maintain my dignity at least this time and make it home. At least tonight...


I'm not sure why do you need to wash your hands so badly.


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## Young Kim (Jan 28, 2015)

MikhailCA said:


> I'm not sure why do you need to wash your hands so badly.


Well my friend I don't really need I guess to wash my hands that badly but since I do Uber Eats I feel like it would be the civilized thing to do. Even though I'm holding things outside on the bag. Don't you wash your hands yourself after you go number one? No judgment for me though if you don't..


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## MikhailCA (Dec 8, 2019)

Young Kim said:


> Well my friend I don't really need I guess to wash my hands that badly but since I do Uber Eats I feel like it would be the civilized thing to do. Even though I'm holding things outside on the bag. Don't you wash your hands yourself after you go number one? No judgment for me though if you don't..


Well, at 3 in the morning(on the street) it's a least important thing I care about.


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## Trafficat (Dec 19, 2016)

If you get caught peeing in the ally it could be a crime, possibly even a sex offense.

You can probably find a way to do this discreetly without leaving your vehicle to avoid the possibility of legal repercussions.

I keep an empty bottle, either 750 mL or 1 liter I think, as well as harbor freight funnels. The human bladder usually maxes out around 700 mL and generally not more than 1 Liter unless you have a medical issue, so it is a good volume. Normally ~400 mL is more typical. Make sure not to block the bottom of hole in the bottom of the funnel with your appendage or it will back up and overflow. The bottle can then be emptied later in a more appropriate location. Seal the lid tight and store it in a bag with a puppy pad around it. Works for me.

Use hand sanitizer afterwards if you choose to, but urine is generally more sterile than tap water and chances are you are more infecting your member with your hand cooties than infecting your hand with your member cooties.


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## MikhailCA (Dec 8, 2019)

Trafficat said:


> If you get caught peeing in the ally it could be a crime, possibly even a sex offense.
> 
> You can probably find a way to do this discretely without leaving your vehicle to avoid the possibility of legal repercussions.
> 
> ...


At what time peeing on the street become a crime?


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## Trafficat (Dec 19, 2016)

MikhailCA said:


> At what time peeing on the street become a crime?


Most places have laws against public urination, and if anyone sees your member, it is also indecent exposure.


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## Young Kim (Jan 28, 2015)

Trafficat said:


> If you get caught peeing in the ally it could be a crime, possibly even a sex offense.
> 
> You can probably find a way to do this discretely without leaving your vehicle to avoid the possibility of legal repercussions.
> 
> ...


Yeah I have to try that again thanks for the tip. But my car is pretty small it's a Toyota Prius. before when I drove part-time for a taxi there was so much space for that. A large bottle. But in my car it's very hard. But I'm going to try your suggestion. I don't have to use the alleyway too often. But when I do I feel quite ashamed.



Trafficat said:


> Most places have laws against public urination, and if anyone sees your member, it is also indecent exposure.


I will say though that if I use an alleyway I go to the most remote part in the back of a building.. if I absolutely have to go I look for some kind of business industrial park.


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## Trafficat (Dec 19, 2016)

Young Kim said:


> Yeah I have to try that again thanks for the tip. But my car is pretty small it's a Toyota Prius. before when I drove part-time for a taxi there was so much space for that. A large bottle. But in my car it's very hard. But I'm going to try your suggestion. I don't have to use the alleyway too often. But when I do I feel quite ashamed.


In my SUV it is trivial to do in the backseat if I push the front seats forward. Windows are tinted and I can be low relative to the windows.

For a smaller vehicle, I have found it is still possible but may require more creativity.


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## MikhailCA (Dec 8, 2019)

Trafficat said:


> Most places have laws against public urination, and if anyone sees your member, it is also indecent exposure.


If you urinated in your pants on the street does it count as a public urination?


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## Trafficat (Dec 19, 2016)

MikhailCA said:


> If you urinated in your pants on the street does it count as a public urination?


Technically, maybe, depending on how the specific local rule is worded... but one element of crime is generally mens rea, which means you have to have a guilty mind. In common law tradition this was necessary for all crimes but today there are many so-called "strict liability offenses" like speeding or possessing illegal drugs. I'm kind of thinking an offense like this is not a strict liability offense since prosecutors have very little trouble finding intent in most circumstances. Pulling down your pants demonstrates intent, versus doing something accidentally, which is generally not punishable except in cases of negligence. Plus, as a matter of enforcement, I just don't think most cops will even bother with trying to enforce public urination outside of when people whip their member out to do it. I've never heard of anyone being cited for peeing their pants.

In any case, public urination, unless if it is somehow a sex offense on its own (in which case it probably explicitly requires the exposure of the member to qualify as an offense to begin with), is a much lesser charge to indecent exposure, which is almost always going to be a sex offense that will follow you for life. No member visible means no indecent exposure charge.


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## Youburr (Aug 22, 2019)

People also drive crazy fast wherever and whenever they want right now. The cat is not willing to play all mouse games in a pandemic. U. P. Freely, but mind the curfew.


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## Young Kim (Jan 28, 2015)

Youburr said:


> People also drive crazy fast wherever and whenever they want right now. The cat is not willing to play all mouse games in a pandemic. U. P. Freely, but mind the curfew.


If my parents knew I did that even once, I think they would be mortified. I was raised as one of those that always follows societies rules and laws. Even to a fault. I don't really have a trunk, but I am going to be double my efforts and maybe pulling down my back seats.


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## Who is John Galt? (Sep 28, 2016)

Young Kim said:


> Well my friend I don't really need I guess to wash my hands that badly but since I do Uber Eats I feel like it would be the civilized thing to do. Even though I'm holding things outside on the bag. Don't you wash your hands yourself after you go number one? No judgment for me though if you don't..


In going to the bathroom there is no way I'm going to touch Junior and contaminate myself with unknown bacteria BEFORE washing my hands.

Priorities gentlemen, please!

.


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## waldowainthrop (Oct 25, 2019)

Young Kim said:


> Don't you wash your hands yourself after you go number one? No judgment for me though if you don't..


There is plenty of judgment to go around for people who don't wash their hands after pee pee. The world is glaring at the perpetrators, hoping that they can feel the burn of shame for what they have done. Or more accurately: for what they refuse to do.


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## Young Kim (Jan 28, 2015)

waldowainthrop said:


> There is plenty of judgment to go around for people who don't wash their hands after pee pee. The world is glaring at the perpetrators, hoping that they can feel the burn of shame for what they have done. Or more accurately: for what they refuse to do.


I agree that hand washing after pee pee is probably not that important, because urine is mostly sterile (low bacterial load), unless you have a urinary tract infection or maybe an STD. And if you shower and keep yourself clean down there, it is probably not necessary. But I worked and volunteered a lot before in a hospital, and it was just a rule, so I make a subconscious habit of it. You are right though that there is a lot of judgment going around. If you are in a public bathroom with others then everyone expects everyone else to wash.


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## waldowainthrop (Oct 25, 2019)

Young Kim said:


> I agree that hand washing after pee pee is probably not that important, because urine is mostly sterile (low bacterial load), unless you have a urinary tract infection or maybe an STD. And if you shower and keep yourself clean down there, it is probably not necessary. But I worked and volunteered a lot before in a hospital, and it was just a rule, so I make a subconscious habit of it. You are right though that there is a lot of judgment going around. If you are in a public bathroom with others then everyone expects everyone else to wash.


I agree it's not _that_ important every single time we urinate, but you are correct about the other reasons we wash our hands. I'd rather live in the world where everyone washes every time than the piss-stained reality we live in. Hand-washing is one of the few signs of civilization we can cling to. (Also: not having to piss in public is pretty civilized so hopefully we can collectively hang onto that.)

Anyone who disagrees can feel the silent, crushing, anonymous disapprobation of half of the rest of the world. May your piss-soaked hands never touch anything until your next shower, if you even take them, you vile cretins.


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## Seamus (Jun 21, 2018)

Young Kim said:


> Don't you wash your hands yourself after you go number one?


Why are you "holding it" while going number 1? Do you hold your cheeks while going number 2? You may want to ponder that and alter your technique.


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## waldowainthrop (Oct 25, 2019)

Seamus said:


> Why are you "holding it" while going number 1? Do you hold your cheeks while going number 2? You may want to ponder that and alter your technique.


I came to this forum for advice and stayed for whatever this is. &#128517;


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## W00dbutcher (Jan 14, 2019)

Free willy and be clean and don't play with the willy.....


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## Monkeyman4394 (Jun 27, 2020)

Kim, I’d avoid alleys for this purpose; cops love peering down alleys because all sorts of nefarious shit happens in alleys. Also, you may happen upon people doing nefarious shit (or people shitting nefariously) in your piss alley. I know, I know. I may be besmirching the good name and squeaky clean image of the American metropolitan alley. Find a nice bush to piss behind, or if you happen to wind up in Gary, the front yard of Michael Jackson’s childhood home, where I once pissed after a late night trip to the all-night fried fish and chicken place nearby.


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## Christinebitg (Jun 29, 2018)

Young Kim said:


> But now, almost all the places are closed late at night for patrons to use their bathrooms (which I am certain everyone in my working shift period also sees). I am quite careful to monitor my fluid intake and plan out bathroom breaks (usually at the UberEats delivery restaurants).


Walmart is your friend! But even they have shortened hours now. :frown:

Be careful with minimizing your fluid intake. Dehydration is real, and it's dangerous. Been there, done that, and I most certainly never want to do it again. It'll kick your butt big time.

I know you live up north. That means your heater is on. Heated air has a lower relative humidity, which means you'll breathe out moisture more quickly.


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## waldowainthrop (Oct 25, 2019)

Christinebitg said:


> But from personal experience, I assure you that for most guys


"I'm not like the other guys &#8230;"


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## ABQuber (Jan 30, 2019)

Damn. And this whole time, I just been jumping out and doing my biz, waving at people with my free hand.

This is illegal?! Not in my ‘Murica. ✊


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## dmoney155 (Jun 12, 2017)

Young Kim said:


> I will confess something here... I am a bit embarrassed to admit it. But indeed I have resorted to a few alleyways to alleviate the burden on my bladder during my overnight shift in Chicago. I would never imagine doing such a thing pre-pandemic. But now, almost all the places are closed late at night for patrons to use their bathrooms (which I am certain everyone in my working shift period also sees). I am quite careful to monitor my fluid intake and plan out bathroom breaks (usually at the UberEats delivery restaurants). Driving all night in Chicago I had all the bathroom friendly restaurants in my mind. But lately, yes, I have had to engage in behavior I would admit that makes me feel uncivilized...
> 
> Of course I have water and soap to clean my hands after going number one in an alleyway (never got close to having to do a number two). But does anyone else share feeling a bit like a barbarian in engaging in such behavior? Sounds odd and many may not share my misgivings. But I never thought I'd find myself in a situation where I'd have to resort to such actions which I imagined I'd see only in drunk pax I'd pick up from bars at 3:30 am.
> 
> I feel a bit ashamed in sharing this. I dunno know why. But what I don't feel comfortable about is how such actions are now starting to feel "comfortable". When you do something you don't like to do, you don't want such an action to start becoming acceptable to you. ... But it is late, and my shift is drawing to a close, and I have 25 minutes to my house. And I have to pee... But I will maintain my dignity at least this time and make it home. At least tonight...


I mark my territory anywhere, anytime. Proud of of it!, #savagelife


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## DudeUbering (Sep 21, 2017)

In 4 1/2 years I have never used a restroom. There is so much desert in my town, I just pull over and walk maybe 20-30 feet and take care of business. In the city, I go behind Apt complex dumpsters. If the porty pattys' smell to bad and the airport, I walk 50 feet to a line of oleanders... Guys have been taking a leak wherever they can since the beginning of time, nothing to be ashamed of. I learned to write my name in cursive peeing in the snow back in Phila.... FYI, and I only work days


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## _Tron_ (Feb 9, 2020)

Trafficat said:


> Most places have laws against public urination, and if anyone sees your member, it is also indecent exposure.


Hotels are open around the clock. Never been barred from using their facilities. Better than this happening...


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## wallae (Jun 11, 2018)

Haha


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## Cvillegordo (Oct 30, 2019)

I help my wife out with her work travel several days a week, her company has restricted hotels during Covid and she has to travel throughout her region which includes DC. I have found that in many areas there is NOWHERE to go; it is super annoying. Georgetown is the worst; most places have barricaded their rest rooms. Chipotle is an option if you buy something, your receipt has the bathroom code. Starbucks is hit or miss; it is sometimes locked, and they won't open it unless you buy something. Since my wife has a company car and company gas, (and I'm an authorized driver) I can leave the area and find a grocery store (parking and bathroom) but many of the garages are underground - like Trader Joe's at her Capitol Hill store - and there is no network signal. Not spending 4-6 hours without internet or phone and I can only handle wandering aimlessly on the streets for a short while. Also, in DC I try to stay close so I don't leave the immediate area. I can't imagine Ubering in DC!


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## Volvonaut (May 1, 2016)

Hey is this a thread about PEEING? Before the pandemic I always hit the cleanest restrooms in true George Costanza fashion. Now though man, why touch a handle or accumulate the weird stares everyone's giving everyone 

No my friend, Texas is a sprawling place. The streets are kino, they're the emptiest they've been in like 7 months. No cops (they literally can't stop testing positive) no people, quiet as Christmas Eve every night. I'm aware urine smells and hate when the homeless do that on some trail, so I got principles man. Ironically churches are great, always saving on their power bill, the only place brazen enough to turn off their parking lot lights and always next to some empty field reserved for God knows what. I always look for a field, perhaps some of our famous bustling development around the outskirts of the city. Here, have a picture I took after I was done.


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## islanddriver (Apr 6, 2018)

Young Kim said:


> I will confess something here... I am a bit embarrassed to admit it. But indeed I have resorted to a few alleyways to alleviate the burden on my bladder during my overnight shift in Chicago. I would never imagine doing such a thing pre-pandemic. But now, almost all the places are closed late at night for patrons to use their bathrooms (which I am certain everyone in my working shift period also sees). I am quite careful to monitor my fluid intake and plan out bathroom breaks (usually at the UberEats delivery restaurants). Driving all night in Chicago I had all the bathroom friendly restaurants in my mind. But lately, yes, I have had to engage in behavior I would admit that makes me feel uncivilized...
> 
> Of course I have water and soap to clean my hands after going number one in an alleyway (never got close to having to do a number two). But does anyone else share feeling a bit like a barbarian in engaging in such behavior? Sounds odd and many may not share my misgivings. But I never thought I'd find myself in a situation where I'd have to resort to such actions which I imagined I'd see only in drunk pax I'd pick up from bars at 3:30 am.
> 
> I feel a bit ashamed in sharing this. I dunno know why. But what I don't feel comfortable about is how such actions are now starting to feel "comfortable". When you do something you don't like to do, you don't want such an action to start becoming acceptable to you. ... But it is late, and my shift is drawing to a close, and I have 25 minutes to my house. And I have to pee... But I will maintain my dignity at least this time and make it home. At least tonight...


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## Wildgoose (Feb 11, 2019)

Young Kim said:


> Yeah I have to try that again thanks for the tip. But my car is pretty small it's a Toyota Prius. before when I drove part-time for a taxi there was so much space for that. A large bottle. But in my car it's very hard. But I'm going to try your suggestion. I don't have to use the alleyway too often. But when I do I feel quite ashamed.


I usually stop at supermarket ( grocery store ) whenever I was nearby even if my body hasn't asked for it yet.
Pretty rare but sometime I had no choice, I had to get it done in street usually after dropping off the food where residence area are pretty dark and clear.
Couldn't solve the problem in front driver seat so I went to backseat (driver side) and try to answer my body's request.
*9.5 fl oz of Starbucks coffee bottle* is perfect bottle to be used. :biggrin: :biggrin:

Or wear an adult diaper, problem will be solved quietly. &#128514; &#128514; &#128514;
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## Nightrider82 (Apr 29, 2019)

Keep water bottles and a pocket knife in your car at all times for those type of emergencies. If I don’t have a water bottle I always have shopping bags which I’ll turn off all interior lights, open the back door pee in the bag so that it doesn’t splash and is not visible and doesn’t get on me if there is a hole in the bag. I will always do this close to trash can so I can dispose of and be on my way.


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## New2This (Dec 27, 2015)

Young Kim said:


> I will confess something here... I am a bit embarrassed to admit it. But indeed I have resorted to a few alleyways to alleviate the burden on my bladder during my overnight shift in Chicago. I would never imagine doing such a thing pre-pandemic. But now, almost all the places are closed late at night for patrons to use their bathrooms (which I am certain everyone in my working shift period also sees). I am quite careful to monitor my fluid intake and plan out bathroom breaks (usually at the UberEats delivery restaurants). Driving all night in Chicago I had all the bathroom friendly restaurants in my mind. But lately, yes, I have had to engage in behavior I would admit that makes me feel uncivilized...
> 
> Of course I have water and soap to clean my hands after going number one in an alleyway (never got close to having to do a number two). But does anyone else share feeling a bit like a barbarian in engaging in such behavior? Sounds odd and many may not share my misgivings. But I never thought I'd find myself in a situation where I'd have to resort to such actions which I imagined I'd see only in drunk pax I'd pick up from bars at 3:30 am.
> 
> I feel a bit ashamed in sharing this. I dunno know why. But what I don't feel comfortable about is how such actions are now starting to feel "comfortable". When you do something you don't like to do, you don't want such an action to start becoming acceptable to you. ... But it is late, and my shift is drawing to a close, and I have 25 minutes to my house. And I have to pee... But I will maintain my dignity at least this time and make it home. At least tonight...


There's a reason I always wore sweatpants when I drove. Easy access.

I haven't pissed outside since I stopped Ubering but when I drove I had certain spots I pissed at regularly. I had a spot on the National Mall within sight of the Washington Monument that I used so often I nicknamed it the New2This Memorial Urinal (N2TMU for short), not to be confused with the New2This Memorial Highway (N2TMH).

Higher-income area side streets were actually the best areas to piss in. Just pull over, kill the lights, pop the trunk (make it like you're getting something out of the trunk if someone drives by) and do what you need to do. I fertilized the lawns of many multi-million dollar Mcmansions.

When you drive at night the world is your urinal. &#129335;‍♂


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## M62 (Sep 6, 2019)

If there's no bathroom available, I would use an empty bottle before an alleyway.


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## ABQuber (Jan 30, 2019)

Well, since we’re sharing pee stories.

I love the rain. Except in a truck stop. See, most truckers have pee bottles. Well when they get to a stop, usually a truck stop, time to empty said bottle. Lazy jerks just dump it on the ground where it dries. Next guy comes along, another and so on, so you have layers of dried pee.

Well, then it rains and “activates” all that pee at once and woooooo, worst place to be.

I swear there was a point to this thread once. 🤔


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## Amsoil Uber Connect (Jan 14, 2015)

You could Go Green and fertilize the bushes or grass. Instead of it getting washed out to the Ocean or local lakes when the rains comes or snow melt.


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## Young Kim (Jan 28, 2015)

ABQuber said:


> when they get to a stop, usually a truck stop, time to empty said bottle. Lazy jerks just dump it on the ground where it dries. Next guy comes along, another and so on, so you have layers of dried pee.


At O'Hare airport in Chicago, around the bend when you come off the exit you can see water bottles full of yellow ish liquid littering the shoulders sometimes. Gross...


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## BostonTaxiDriver (Nov 23, 2014)

Young Kim said:


> At O'Hare airport in Chicago, around the bend when you come off the exit you can see water bottles full of yellow ish liquid littering the shoulders sometimes. Gross...


And what do females think of these certain males who tarnish our landscape like this? It's exclusively a male issue, obviously. And, yuck, they wind up dating some of these slobs.

I never dump my pee bottle in a public place. Who needs to see that!!! I take it home in my tote bag (gross, I know) and flush it once at home.


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## Wildgoose (Feb 11, 2019)

Wildgoose said:


> *9.5 fl oz of Starbucks coffee bottle* is perfect bottle to be used. :biggrin: :biggrin:


Sorry 13.7 FL OZ BOTTLE.


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## Monkeyman4394 (Jun 27, 2020)

I piss from my back porch probably twice a day. It saves water. It also gets my 110 lb dog to piss when it’s raining. He hides like a coward when he gets a couple of raindrops on him.


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## 34-Methoxyzacko (May 9, 2020)

Trafficat said:


> Most places have laws against public urination, and if anyone sees your member, it is also indecent exposure.


Indeed. 
And if aroused, it becomes public lewdness. At least in some places; find yourself within 500ft. of a school- boom. Done. 
I know someone (a kid I grew up with) whose life was (quite literally) ruined as a result of this. And no, he wasn't aroused, yet somehow it was deemed a sex crime. He lived across the street from the school. 
...should've just gone inside. Then again, hindsight is 20/20.


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## Monkeyman4394 (Jun 27, 2020)

34-Methoxyzacko said:


> Indeed.
> And if aroused, it becomes public lewdness. At least in some places; find yourself within 500ft. of a school- boom. Done.
> I know someone (a kid I grew up with) whose life was (quite literally) ruined as a result of this. And no, he wasn't aroused, yet somehow it was deemed a sex crime. He lived across the street from the school.
> ...should've just gone inside. Then again, hindsight is 20/20.


Jesus. I've heard of that happening, but I figured it was always just a cautionary exaggeration.


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## UberBastid (Oct 1, 2016)

Young Kim said:


> I will confess something here... I am a bit embarrassed to admit it. But indeed I have resorted to a few alleyways to alleviate the burden on my bladder during my overnight shift in Chicago. I would never imagine doing such a thing pre-pandemic. But now, almost all the places are closed late at night for patrons to use their bathrooms (which I am certain everyone in my working shift period also sees). I am quite careful to monitor my fluid intake and plan out bathroom breaks (usually at the UberEats delivery restaurants). Driving all night in Chicago I had all the bathroom friendly restaurants in my mind. But lately, yes, I have had to engage in behavior I would admit that makes me feel uncivilized...
> 
> Of course I have water and soap to clean my hands after going number one in an alleyway (never got close to having to do a number two). But does anyone else share feeling a bit like a barbarian in engaging in such behavior? Sounds odd and many may not share my misgivings. But I never thought I'd find myself in a situation where I'd have to resort to such actions which I imagined I'd see only in drunk pax I'd pick up from bars at 3:30 am.
> 
> I feel a bit ashamed in sharing this. I dunno know why. But what I don't feel comfortable about is how such actions are now starting to feel "comfortable". When you do something you don't like to do, you don't want such an action to start becoming acceptable to you. ... But it is late, and my shift is drawing to a close, and I have 25 minutes to my house. And I have to pee... But I will maintain my dignity at least this time and make it home. At least tonight...


I'm old.
That means that when I have to go, I am _going_ to go.
It's either gonna be where I'm sitting - or I can stand up and pick a spot _real_ close.

When I'm told that there is no place for me to pee ... I just ask, "So, where do your homeless people piss?"

***

I used to be a single parent.
When my lil girl was about four, we were in the grocery store.
Now, for some reason, little girls hold it too long, until it becomes an emergency.
She was going thru that phase.

"Daddy I gotta pee." Wide eyed, Doing a little dance.
"Right now!"
I turned to a clerk stocking the shelves and said, "Where's your rest room?"
"Oh, we don't have a public rest room."
Lil girls eyes are round and wide, and she's doing a jig.
I say, "If we can't find a place for this kid to piss - I'm going to tell her to do it right here in the middle of the isle .. and believe this ... she'll do it."

Clerk says, "Thru those double doors, first door on the right."


----------



## dnlbaboof (Nov 13, 2015)

The closing of mcdonalds, chipotle dining rooms and restrooms is a crime.....nothing beat taking a break and grabbing a bite, but now thats illegal....


----------



## Another Uber Driver (May 27, 2015)

Washington is a city full of parkland and woods. Now that you carry sani-wipes and hand santiser in your car, you can wipe down or spray down when you have finished your business.


----------



## Christinebitg (Jun 29, 2018)

34-Methoxyzacko said:


> And if aroused, it becomes public lewdness


Arousal (that is, erection) is not required for a charge of lewdness.

Unfortunately the current situation is a result of people trying to outlaw normal human behavior.


----------



## Coachman (Sep 22, 2015)

I'm one of those who keeps a gatorade bottle in the car. It's the quickest, safest way to take care of business. I just dump it right there on the parking lot or street. It saves so much time.


----------



## Soldiering (Jan 21, 2019)

MikhailCA said:


> At what time peeing on the street become a crime?


Its been a crime for awhile bro.


----------



## cumonohito (Feb 13, 2018)

Kim, interesting topic. Prior covid, it was always an experience when nature called, but at least we had numerous places to go without a problem no matter what time. This was actually one of my biggest problems when I started R/S and would do a long shift or work through the AM hours. Eventually I managed to control myself, and certainly took my bathroom break when the opportunity came. Now, most fast food are closed for take out, only drive thru, and the few that are open for take out will immediately know that you are not a customer. Hours are shortened, and you can't blend in with the local clientele since there's not many. 

Being older, I tend to go more, but I've always managed. My simple trick at nighttime, when you where away from a public restroom is to just park the car in a way that is not facing oncoming traffic, building, etc. open the door and pretend to be looking at your tire/car while peeing, you can also use your phone & pretend to have a conversation. No need for alleyways, bottles etc. Another option is going to a parking lot, staged yourself in a remote area, maybe towards the side of a building and let it flow.


----------



## tohunt4me (Nov 23, 2015)

Young Kim said:


> I will confess something here... I am a bit embarrassed to admit it. But indeed I have resorted to a few alleyways to alleviate the burden on my bladder during my overnight shift in Chicago. I would never imagine doing such a thing pre-pandemic. But now, almost all the places are closed late at night for patrons to use their bathrooms (which I am certain everyone in my working shift period also sees). I am quite careful to monitor my fluid intake and plan out bathroom breaks (usually at the UberEats delivery restaurants). Driving all night in Chicago I had all the bathroom friendly restaurants in my mind. But lately, yes, I have had to engage in behavior I would admit that makes me feel uncivilized...
> 
> Of course I have water and soap to clean my hands after going number one in an alleyway (never got close to having to do a number two). But does anyone else share feeling a bit like a barbarian in engaging in such behavior? Sounds odd and many may not share my misgivings. But I never thought I'd find myself in a situation where I'd have to resort to such actions which I imagined I'd see only in drunk pax I'd pick up from bars at 3:30 am.
> 
> I feel a bit ashamed in sharing this. I dunno know why. But what I don't feel comfortable about is how such actions are now starting to feel "comfortable". When you do something you don't like to do, you don't want such an action to start becoming acceptable to you. ... But it is late, and my shift is drawing to a close, and I have 25 minutes to my house. And I have to pee... But I will maintain my dignity at least this time and make it home. At least tonight...


As long as i dont get a ticket
All i feel
Is RELIEF !


----------



## hooj (Aug 18, 2018)

Young Kim said:


> I will confess something here... I am a bit embarrassed to admit it. But indeed I have resorted to a few alleyways to alleviate the burden on my bladder during my overnight shift in Chicago. I would never imagine doing such a thing pre-pandemic. But now, almost all the places are closed late at night for patrons to use their bathrooms (which I am certain everyone in my working shift period also sees). I am quite careful to monitor my fluid intake and plan out bathroom breaks (usually at the UberEats delivery restaurants). Driving all night in Chicago I had all the bathroom friendly restaurants in my mind. But lately, yes, I have had to engage in behavior I would admit that makes me feel uncivilized...
> 
> Of course I have water and soap to clean my hands after going number one in an alleyway (never got close to having to do a number two). But does anyone else share feeling a bit like a barbarian in engaging in such behavior? Sounds odd and many may not share my misgivings. But I never thought I'd find myself in a situation where I'd have to resort to such actions which I imagined I'd see only in drunk pax I'd pick up from bars at 3:30 am.
> 
> I feel a bit ashamed in sharing this. I dunno know why. But what I don't feel comfortable about is how such actions are now starting to feel "comfortable". When you do something you don't like to do, you don't want such an action to start becoming acceptable to you. ... But it is late, and my shift is drawing to a close, and I have 25 minutes to my house. And I have to pee... But I will maintain my dignity at least this time and make it home. At least tonight...


Go to Paris. You'll feel like an outsider if you don't piss on the streets! In broad daylight too!


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## Trafficat (Dec 19, 2016)

hooj said:


> Go to Paris. You'll feel like an outsider if you don't piss on the streets! In broad daylight too!


Or go to San Francisco, where it is also the norm to poop on the sidewalk.


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## tohunt4me (Nov 23, 2015)

Trafficat said:


> Or go to San Francisco, where it is also the norm to poop on the sidewalk.


got to " pick up" after your pets.
But not after your junkies & crazies.


----------



## Terri Lee (Jun 23, 2016)

Young Kim said:


> I have resorted to a few alleyways to alleviate the burden on my bladder.


Yes, often.

What I find weird is all the people who refer to using bottle. That's just gross.


----------



## Selector19 (Mar 15, 2019)

Young Kim said:


> I will confess something here... I am a bit embarrassed to admit it. But indeed I have resorted to a few alleyways to alleviate the burden on my bladder during my overnight shift in Chicago. I would never imagine doing such a thing pre-pandemic. But now, almost all the places are closed late at night for patrons to use their bathrooms (which I am certain everyone in my working shift period also sees). I am quite careful to monitor my fluid intake and plan out bathroom breaks (usually at the UberEats delivery restaurants). Driving all night in Chicago I had all the bathroom friendly restaurants in my mind. But lately, yes, I have had to engage in behavior I would admit that makes me feel uncivilized...
> 
> Of course I have water and soap to clean my hands after going number one in an alleyway (never got close to having to do a number two). But does anyone else share feeling a bit like a barbarian in engaging in such behavior? Sounds odd and many may not share my misgivings. But I never thought I'd find myself in a situation where I'd have to resort to such actions which I imagined I'd see only in drunk pax I'd pick up from bars at 3:30 am.
> 
> I feel a bit ashamed in sharing this. I dunno know why. But what I don't feel comfortable about is how such actions are now starting to feel "comfortable". When you do something you don't like to do, you don't want such an action to start becoming acceptable to you. ... But it is late, and my shift is drawing to a close, and I have 25 minutes to my house. And I have to pee... But I will maintain my dignity at least this time and make it home. At least tonight...


Get a Gatorade or similar bottle and carry it with you all the time. Alleyways aren't safe, especially at night..



Terri Lee said:


> Yes, often.
> 
> What I find weird is all the people who refer to using bottle. That's just gross.


Gross to do it in an alleyway when someone can see you or cops can wait there for bad guys and get you instead... :biggrin:



MikhailCA said:


> At what time peeing on the street become a crime?


Once you take your penis out... :laugh:


----------



## Trafficat (Dec 19, 2016)

Terri Lee said:


> Yes, often.
> 
> What I find weird is all the people who refer to using bottle. That's just gross.


Not as gross as peeing in the alley.


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## UberBastid (Oct 1, 2016)

Selector19 said:


> Get a Gatorade or similar bottle and carry it with you all the time.


The opening is too small for my ... um .. appendage.
And, I'm not that good of a shot.

I have a rusted out hole in the floorboard of my uber car, and I just 'do it' while rolling down the road.

AND, I can write my name in the snow.


----------



## DudeUbering (Sep 21, 2017)

Somebody explain the bottle thing to me... You get out of your car, walk somewhere discreet and pee in a bottle?? Just pee where you walked to...


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## TCar (Aug 4, 2019)

Spent all summer scoping out the best places in my area (woods or otherwise hidden nuggets.) Now, I know the best places. 
No peeing in bottles, I just do it like an animal.


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## Monkeyman4394 (Jun 27, 2020)

Wait. What’s wrong with barbarians?! Kim?!


----------



## Young Kim (Jan 28, 2015)

Monkeyman4394 said:


> Wait. What's wrong with barbarians?! Kim?!


@moneyman4394, indeed that may have been unfair. :roflmao:


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## Amos69 (May 17, 2019)

Nope. Hell I'd whip it out and piss in the middle of the street.

I don't care.


----------



## hooj (Aug 18, 2018)

Trafficat said:


> Or go to San Francisco, where it is also the norm to poop on the sidewalk.


I've been to SF and LOVE that city. After day 2 my lady and I dubbed them "San Francisco Pee Streams" any time we saw a stream of piss flowing downwards.

Still call them that anywhere we go ..


----------



## cumonohito (Feb 13, 2018)

hooj said:


> I've been to SF and LOVE that city. After day 2 my lady and I dubbed them "San Francisco Pee Streams" any time we saw a stream of piss flowing downwards.
> 
> Still call them that anywhere we go ..


When visiting SFO we usually stay by the Wharf area, or by Napa/Sonoma and have a rental. One particular trip we stayed by Union Square and did public transportation/rideshare only. While walking towards hotel we noticed the numerous needles, feces, and pee streams. On our morning walks, you will see all the merchants hosing the sidewalk entrance to their storefronts.


----------



## hooj (Aug 18, 2018)

cumonohito said:


> When visiting SFO we usually stay by the Wharf area, or by Napa/Sonoma and have a rental. One particular trip we stayed by Union Square and did public transportation/rideshare only. While walking towards hotel we noticed the numerous needles, feces, and pee streams. On our morning walks, you will see all the merchants hosing the sidewalk entrance to their storefronts.


It happens. Every nice city has its blights... some you see some you don't.


----------



## Uber1954 (Dec 4, 2020)

MikhailCA said:


> At what time peeing on the street become a crime?


My son was in an accident and had to pee. The cops would not let him leave, so he hid in some bushes. The cop charged him with "urinating/defecating in public." The judge dismissed the misdemeanor charge. I've had to pee a few times. It's easy in Tucson to find a dark street. No shame. If I am near a QuikTrip I go there. If not, I water a plant!


----------



## phreeradical (Jan 6, 2017)




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## New2This (Dec 27, 2015)

phreeradical said:


> View attachment 531575


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## Young Kim (Jan 28, 2015)

phreeradical said:


> View attachment 531575


That is so hilarious that he's holding the bag while peeing! that is one big rule that he broke is bringing food into the restroom...



New2This said:


> View attachment 531583


My God I just stopped my car cuz I was laughing so hard! To go number two with the Uber Eats bag! That is legendary. I never even think to ever bring one of the customers bags into the restroom. Imagine the bottom of that bag and how many things of bacteria that it is contact with.!


----------



## Valar Dohaeris (May 25, 2019)

Urinating outdoors makes me feel alive. It makes me feel more connected with my ancestors, the hearty the souls that they were.


----------



## cumonohito (Feb 13, 2018)

Young Kim said:


> That is so hilarious that he's holding the bag while peeing! that is one big rule that he broke is bringing food into the restroom...
> 
> 
> My God I just stopped my car cuz I was laughing so hard! To go number two with the Uber Eats bag! That is legendary. I never even think to ever bring one of the customers bags into the restroom. Imagine the bottom of that bag and how many things of bacteria that it is contact with.!


I recall a Mythbuster episode where they checked the bacteria level on public restroom and it wasn't any different than a regular private restroom or other locations.


----------



## DudeUbering (Sep 21, 2017)

Uber1954 said:


> My son was in an accident and had to pee. The cops would not let him leave, so he hid in some bushes. The cop charged him with "urinating/defecating in public." The judge dismissed the misdemeanor charge. I've had to pee a few times. It's easy in Tucson to find a dark street. No shame. If I am near a QuikTrip I go there. If not, I water a plant!


I'm in Tucson also, I have never used a restroom. I guess I have taken a leak 12-15 times a week for 4 1/2 years off the road, in the desert or behind a dumpster...


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## Monkeyman4394 (Jun 27, 2020)

cumonohito said:


> I recall a Mythbuster episode where they checked the bacteria level on public restroom and it wasn't any different than a regular private restroom or other locations.


We did a culture project with some high school students. We used their phones, water fountains, keyboards, and my nose. My nose was easily the filthiest thing we cultured. It grew a huge variety of specimens. Phones were a close and easy second.


----------



## DudeUbering (Sep 21, 2017)

Monkeyman4394 said:


> We did a culture project with some high school students. We used their phones, water fountains, keyboards, and my nose. My nose was easily the filthiest thing we cultured. It grew a huge variety of specimens. Phones were a close and easy second.


where has your nose been?


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## Monkeyman4394 (Jun 27, 2020)

DudeUbering said:


> where has your nose been?


I live in the East Tennessee Valley and my nasal passages, according to an ENT, are weird. I basically always have a sinus infection.

@Young Kim this is for you. Freshly pissed on pissing stump (complete with mushrooms) with my dog milling about.


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## Blatherskite (Nov 30, 2016)

Little known fact: Gatoraid bottle openings were deliberately schlong gauged by an eminent urologist in pursuit of eradicating the scourge of uromysitisis.


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## UberBastid (Oct 1, 2016)

DudeUbering said:


> I'm in Tucson also, I have never used a restroom. I guess I have taken a leak 12-15 times a week for 4 1/2 years off the road, in the desert or behind a dumpster...


Are you also known as .............. The Camel Man ?????


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## Schmanthony (Nov 18, 2017)

(For the guys...) get yourself a pee bottle. I prefer those tall plastic peanut bottles. Do this, and now your pee options have gone up 100-fold.

Find a spot on the side of the road where you can legally park even if it's one of those green pay to park spots. Go into the back seat. Put one knee on the floorboard. Put your back to the sidewalk and face the street. Do your business, then afterwards discretely dump it somewhere, preferably at the base of a tree where it will fertilize it.

I've done this in broad daylight downtown during morning rush hour while en route to picking up a passenger. Never any problems.


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## Amos69 (May 17, 2019)

Schmanthony said:


> *(For the guys...) get yourself a pee bottle. I prefer those tall plastic peanut bottles.* Do this, and now your pee options have gone up 100-fold.
> 
> Find a spot on the side of the road where you can legally park even if it's one of those green pay to park spots. Go into the back seat. Put one knee on the floorboard. Put your back to the sidewalk and face the street. Do your business, then afterwards discretely dump it somewhere, preferably at the base of a tree where it will fertilize it.
> 
> I've done this in broad daylight downtown during morning rush hour while en route to picking up a passenger. Never any problems.


*WHAT THE F????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????*

Why on earth would you pee in a bottle?

Period no stipulations.


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## Young Kim (Jan 28, 2015)

Amos69 said:


> *WHAT THE F????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????*
> 
> Why on earth would you pee in a bottle?
> 
> Period no stipulations.


@Amos69 my brother. Please please never leave this forum! If you did there would be a big black hole of lost humor...



cumonohito said:


> I recall a Mythbuster episode where they checked the bacteria level on public restroom and it wasn't any different than a regular private restroom or other locations.


It's probably true actually. I just think that it is a common thought that public bathrooms are nastier...but yeah probably people don't even clean their private bathrooms at all... at least in the public bathrooms a janitor comes by once in awhile.


----------



## Amos69 (May 17, 2019)

Young Kim said:


> @Amos69 my brother. Please please never leave this forum! If you did there would be a big black hole of lost humor...
> 
> 
> It's probably true actually. I just think that it is a common thought that public bathrooms are nastier...but yeah probably people don't even clean their private bathrooms at all... at least in the public bathrooms a janitor comes by once in awhile.


OMG!!!!!! You should see what I just had to do in the half bath here at Coconut Grove!

Hint: Collapsed sewer main.

Kind of a shitty day.


----------



## Young Kim (Jan 28, 2015)

Amos69 said:


> OMG!!!!!! You should see what I just had to do in the half bath here at Coconut Grove!
> 
> Hint: Collapsed sewer main.
> 
> Kind of a shitty day.


Definitely a "sh*tty" day for you bro! Sorry!


----------



## Halfmybrain (Mar 3, 2018)

Young Kim said:


> I will confess something here... I am a bit embarrassed to admit it. But indeed I have resorted to a few alleyways to alleviate the burden on my bladder during my overnight shift in Chicago. I would never imagine doing such a thing pre-pandemic. But now, almost all the places are closed late at night for patrons to use their bathrooms (which I am certain everyone in my working shift period also sees). I am quite careful to monitor my fluid intake and plan out bathroom breaks (usually at the UberEats delivery restaurants). Driving all night in Chicago I had all the bathroom friendly restaurants in my mind. But lately, yes, I have had to engage in behavior I would admit that makes me feel uncivilized...
> 
> Of course I have water and soap to clean my hands after going number one in an alleyway (never got close to having to do a number two). But does anyone else share feeling a bit like a barbarian in engaging in such behavior? Sounds odd and many may not share my misgivings. But I never thought I'd find myself in a situation where I'd have to resort to such actions which I imagined I'd see only in drunk pax I'd pick up from bars at 3:30 am.
> 
> I feel a bit ashamed in sharing this. I dunno know why. But what I don't feel comfortable about is how such actions are now starting to feel "comfortable". When you do something you don't like to do, you don't want such an action to start becoming acceptable to you. ... But it is late, and my shift is drawing to a close, and I have 25 minutes to my house. And I have to pee... But I will maintain my dignity at least this time and make it home. At least tonight...


I don't have to read any responses to know that a lot of guys are saying "Don't be a prude, it's no problem, what do you thing alleys are for?"

I never used alleys, for sanitary and other reasons. I sure the F don't want to be mid-whiz and have a rat scurry across the alley, or a dog 20 feet away suddenly bark and scare the urine backwards up to my eyeballs.

As a new city resident, whose car is parked in a garage and who has to put his trash in containers IN THE ALLEY, and as a resident of the only ward (from what I hear) that actually has street sweepers come through its alleyways--please do not use alleys to piss.

I'm a night driver also and agree, it's a lot rougher to find a place now--even porta potties are scarce. Use a bottle. Dump it immediately in a dirt area or a sewer drain. Never toss a full bottle on a highway or dumpster...there's a reason that stuff is normally FLUSHED and not bottled up.



Seamus said:


> Why are you "holding it" while going number 1? Do you hold your cheeks while going number 2? You may want to ponder that and alter your technique.


How else are we Chicagoans going to write Lori Lightfoot's name in the snow?


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## waldowainthrop (Oct 25, 2019)

Schmanthony said:


> then afterwards discretely dump it somewhere, preferably at the base of a tree where it will fertilize it.


This is not good advice. Urinating on a tree does not fertilize it. Urine has too much nitrogen and will harm plants if not diluted.


----------



## Terri Lee (Jun 23, 2016)

Trafficat said:


> If you get caught peeing in the ally it could be a crime, possibly even a sex offense.


Some of these comments are too funny. How long does it take you to whizz? Please don't answer. You go to a remote area, you open your front and back door and stand between them. If you think you're too near people hold your phone in front of you and stare at it.
Mostly, no one cares what you're doing. 
I often see people on the highway pulled over with both their right hand doors open; and I think some of them may be relieving themselves. But you can't see anything so who cares?
Oh, and BTW, men of a certain age get a legal pass due to "medical condition emergency".


----------



## waldowainthrop (Oct 25, 2019)

Terri Lee said:


> Mostly, no one cares what you're doing.


my wife cares. she makes me sit down when i pee qnd i have to leave the bathroom door open.


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## Terri Lee (Jun 23, 2016)

waldowainthrop said:


> my wife cares. she makes me sit down when i pee qnd i have to leave the bathroom door open.


If you clean a bathroom you'd see the wisdom of sitting down.

Living in the country I have the great luxury of stepping outside.


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## waldowainthrop (Oct 25, 2019)

Terri Lee said:


> If you clean a bathroom you'd see the wisdom of sitting down.


my wife says the same thing but sarcastically, and then insults me. im the one who cleans the bathrooms anyway.


----------



## New2This (Dec 27, 2015)

waldowainthrop said:


> my wife says the same thing but sarcastically, and then insults me. im the one who cleans the bathrooms anyway.


But that's because you're a SoyBoy cuck &#129335;‍♂


----------



## Amos69 (May 17, 2019)

waldowainthrop said:


> my wife says the same thing but sarcastically, and then insults me. im the one who cleans the bathrooms anyway.


I have two wives

They hire a housekeeper.

You should try it.


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## UberBastid (Oct 1, 2016)

Terri Lee said:


> Oh, and BTW, men of a certain age get a legal pass due to "medical condition emergency".


Oh no ... no.

Old white guys don't get a pass on ANYTHING.
Hell I can't even look at a nice rack any more.

Old white guys are: racist, cho-mo, gun toting, angry, misogynistic fascists.
Legal Pass .. *snort*

Hunting season has _just_ begun.


----------



## Schmanthony (Nov 18, 2017)

waldowainthrop said:


> This is not good advice. Urinating on a tree does not fertilize it. Urine has too much nitrogen and will harm plants if not diluted.


Urine is an excellent fertilizer for most plants. You're right that undiluted it may be too strong for some plants, such as grass, and cause burn as any fertilizer can when applied too strong. But for most mature trees and shrubs it can be used full strength no problem. I've researched this.


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## Monkeyman4394 (Jun 27, 2020)

I think the takeaway here is: stop pissing in bottles, you feckless heathens (not even the good sort of heathens). Either find a spot to piss outdoors without getting busted or find a bathroom.


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## Schmanthony (Nov 18, 2017)

Monkeyman4394 said:


> I think the takeaway here is: stop pissing in bottles, you feckless heathens (not even the good sort of heathens). Either find a spot to piss outdoors without getting busted or find a bathroom.


You'll have to pry my pee bottle out of my cold dead unsanitary hands!


----------



## Monkeyman4394 (Jun 27, 2020)

Schmanthony said:


> You'll have to pry my pee bottle out of my cold dead unsanitary hands!


Worth it!


----------



## Christinebitg (Jun 29, 2018)

UberBastid said:


> Old white guys don't get a pass on ANYTHING.
> Hell I can't even look at a nice rack any more.


That really is the truth. Men aren't even allowed to stare any more, even the woman has obviously dressed to attract their attention.

ESPECIALLY if it's an older guy. The only guys those women welcome it from are guys they're interested it. And even then they'll b*tch.

Am I bitter? Maybe a little. I've always been small "up top," so I don't get that kind of attention from guys.


----------



## Another Uber Driver (May 27, 2015)

Schmanthony said:


> unsanitary hands!


You do not use the "free" sani-wipes and hand sanitiser that F*ub*a*r* provides?


----------



## UberBastid (Oct 1, 2016)

Christinebitg said:


> That really is the truth. Men aren't even allowed to stare any more, even the woman has obviously dressed to attract their attention.
> 
> ESPECIALLY if it's an older guy. The only guys those women welcome it from are guys they're interested it. And even then they'll b*tch.
> 
> Am I bitter? Maybe a little. I've always been small "up top," so I don't get that kind of attention from guys.


My wife claims, "Closer to the bone, the sweeter the meat."


----------



## Young Kim (Jan 28, 2015)

UberBastid said:


> My wife claims, "Closer to the bone, the sweeter the meat."


I concur, Maybe because I am Asian? I dunno. I always preferred smaller breasts. I personally do not find large breasts attractive.



Christinebitg said:


> That really is the truth. Men aren't even allowed to stare any more, even the woman has obviously dressed to attract their attention.
> 
> ESPECIALLY if it's an older guy. The only guys those women welcome it from are guys they're interested it. And even then they'll b*tch.
> 
> Am I bitter? Maybe a little. I've always been small "up top," so I don't get that kind of attention from guys.


I have had that same convo with some older male pax. They complain about that these days. I remember a saying going around these days... If the girl thinks the guy is cute, then the attention is called "flirting". But if the guy is not attractive to the girl, then the attention is called "harrassment".


----------



## Another Uber Driver (May 27, 2015)

UberBastid said:


> My wife claims, "Closer to the bone, the sweeter the meat."


My little brother always used to say that anything more than a mouthful was wasted. He married a small breasted woman. He always did favour small breasted women. He used to fight off the women with a proverbial stick, but he almost always chose those who had less up top.


----------



## Valar Dohaeris (May 25, 2019)

Young Kim said:


> If the girl thinks the guy is cute, then the attention is called "flirting". But if the guy is not attractive to the girl, then the attention is called "harrassment".


This is so, so true.


----------



## Christinebitg (Jun 29, 2018)

Young Kim said:


> I always preferred smaller breasts.


And thank goodness there are guys like you!


----------



## Amos69 (May 17, 2019)

Christinebitg said:


> That really is the truth. Men aren't even allowed to stare any more, even the woman has obviously dressed to attract their attention.
> 
> ESPECIALLY if it's an older guy. The only guys those women welcome it from are guys they're interested it. And even then they'll b*tch.
> 
> Am I bitter? Maybe a little. I've always been small "up top," so I don't get that kind of attention from guys.


Don't know, those are not my experiences.

I do know I am different


----------



## UberBastid (Oct 1, 2016)

Amos69 said:


> Don't know, those are not my experiences.
> 
> I do know I am different


Or, you are not a part of the new minority: old, white, male.


----------



## Halfmybrain (Mar 3, 2018)

waldowainthrop said:


> This is not good advice. Urinating on a tree does not fertilize it. Urine has too much nitrogen and will harm plants if not diluted.


Mammals have been pissing on trees for millenia. The word fertilize was not accurate, but if we're talking about trees that are exposed to rain and the elements, a bit of uric acid, ammonia, etc. won't do anything but alert olfactory based critters that another creature was in the area.


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## Disgusted Driver (Jan 9, 2015)

Nightrider82 said:


> Keep water bottles and a pocket knife in your car at all times for those type of emergencies. If I don't have a water bottle I always have shopping bags which I'll turn off all interior lights, open the back door pee in the bag so that it doesn't splash and is not visible and doesn't get on me if there is a hole in the bag. I will always do this close to trash can so I can dispose of and be on my way.


I'm afraid to ask what the pocket knife is for!


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## Halfmybrain (Mar 3, 2018)

Disgusted Driver said:


> I'm afraid to ask what the pocket knife is for!


I tried your method and it got really sloppy, the whole bag got damp and dripped from all four corners. I bet it would work even better with a plastic bag.


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## UberBastid (Oct 1, 2016)

Disgusted Driver said:


> I'm afraid to ask what the pocket knife is for!


Well, that's easy.
To cut the seatbelt; or do an emergency tracheotomy if needed.


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## The super uber (May 23, 2020)

Young Kim said:


> I will confess something here... I am a bit embarrassed to admit it. But indeed I have resorted to a few alleyways to alleviate the burden on my bladder during my overnight shift in Chicago. I would never imagine doing such a thing pre-pandemic. But now, almost all the places are closed late at night for patrons to use their bathrooms (which I am certain everyone in my working shift period also sees). I am quite careful to monitor my fluid intake and plan out bathroom breaks (usually at the UberEats delivery restaurants). Driving all night in Chicago I had all the bathroom friendly restaurants in my mind. But lately, yes, I have had to engage in behavior I would admit that makes me feel uncivilized...
> 
> Of course I have water and soap to clean my hands after going number one in an alleyway (never got close to having to do a number two). But does anyone else share feeling a bit like a barbarian in engaging in such behavior? Sounds odd and many may not share my misgivings. But I never thought I'd find myself in a situation where I'd have to resort to such actions which I imagined I'd see only in drunk pax I'd pick up from bars at 3:30 am.
> 
> I feel a bit ashamed in sharing this. I dunno know why. But what I don't feel comfortable about is how such actions are now starting to feel "comfortable". When you do something you don't like to do, you don't want such an action to start becoming acceptable to you. ... But it is late, and my shift is drawing to a close, and I have 25 minutes to my house. And I have to pee... But I will maintain my dignity at least this time and make it home. At least tonight...


As a guy they say "The world is our toilet". As a Deer & Bear Hunter relieving myself outside is very common. As an Uber I carry a roll of paper towels...sometimes for crying women, but more often to wipe my ###. Gas stations are few and far between and since I drive through the night, nature calls frequently. It is sort of a thrill, an accomplishment ..sort of like making love in a daytime elevator. Nuf Said


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## Eco-Charles (Jul 18, 2020)

I just pull over in a corner of a parking lot and wash my windows, not sure any mall security guard is going to watch me long enough to figure that I pee' d at some point. I use to travel a bunch in third world countries so peeing/pooping without the rule of "don't look at people while you you pee and it's okay" work for me.


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## forqalso (Jun 1, 2015)

MikhailCA said:


> At what time peeing on the street become a crime?


Around 3:30 pm, if there's an elementary school across the street


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## Young Kim (Jan 28, 2015)

forqalso said:


> Around 3:30 pm, if there's an elementary school across the street


Good one


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## JuanMoreTime (Jan 25, 2015)

When I was driving in LA, I almost made a sport of seeing which exclusive neighborhoods I could sully. I've peed on the street in Beverly Hills, Bel Air, Hollywood, West Hollywood, Malibu, Calabasas, and more! There are very few places to pee in Los Angeles, and oddly very few alleys even. Many restaurants don't have restrooms that are available to the public to begin with, and most of the ones that do require you to go to the counter and get buzzed in. Grocery stores can be a good option, but few were 24 hours then, and I'd imagine that virtually none are right now.


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## Another Uber Driver (May 27, 2015)

If you are in SF you are fortunate. As you are allowed to poo in the street, there should not be a problem with peeing in it.


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## Alemus (Jul 25, 2017)

Young Kim said:


> I will confess something here... I am a bit embarrassed to admit it. But indeed I have resorted to a few alleyways to alleviate the burden on my bladder during my overnight shift in Chicago. I would never imagine doing such a thing pre-pandemic. But now, almost all the places are closed late at night for patrons to use their bathrooms (which I am certain everyone in my working shift period also sees). I am quite careful to monitor my fluid intake and plan out bathroom breaks (usually at the UberEats delivery restaurants). Driving all night in Chicago I had all the bathroom friendly restaurants in my mind. But lately, yes, I have had to engage in behavior I would admit that makes me feel uncivilized...
> 
> Of course I have water and soap to clean my hands after going number one in an alleyway (never got close to having to do a number two). But does anyone else share feeling a bit like a barbarian in engaging in such behavior? Sounds odd and many may not share my misgivings. But I never thought I'd find myself in a situation where I'd have to resort to such actions which I imagined I'd see only in drunk pax I'd pick up from bars at 3:30 am.
> 
> I feel a bit ashamed in sharing this. I dunno know why. But what I don't feel comfortable about is how such actions are now starting to feel "comfortable". When you do something you don't like to do, you don't want such an action to start becoming acceptable to you. ... But it is late, and my shift is drawing to a close, and I have 25 minutes to my house. And I have to pee... But I will maintain my dignity at least this time and make it home. At least tonight...





W00dbutcher said:


> Free willy and be clean and don't play with the willy.....


I can assure you many drivers partake in this


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## W00dbutcher (Jan 14, 2019)

Alemus said:


> I can assure you many drivers partake in this


Sounds like a Saturday night and everybody's doing drugs with the word partake.


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## Uber's Guber (Oct 22, 2017)

Young Kim said:


> Does anyone feel a bit like a barbarian if they now have to sometimes use the alleyway?


I feel more like a barbarian when I shit my trousers.


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## Halfmybrain (Mar 3, 2018)

Eco-Charles said:


> I just pull over in a corner of a parking lot and wash my windows, not sure any mall security guard is going to watch me long enough to figure that I pee' d at some point. I use to travel a bunch in third world countries so peeing/pooping without the rule of "don't look at people while you you pee and it's okay" work for me.


Eww and then you drive with that yellow tinge on your windshield?


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## cumonohito (Feb 13, 2018)

Halfmybrain said:


> Eww and then you drive with that yellow tinge on your windshield?


That's how Rain-X is made.


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## Halfmybrain (Mar 3, 2018)

cumonohito said:


> That's how Rain-X is made.


I think Rain-X takes a little longer and you better have some good window washer solvent.

Hypothetically speaking.


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## sumidaj (Nov 2, 2020)

I make a mental note of all the bathrooms / parks / closing times in the areas I am in. No issues yet!


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## Halfmybrain (Mar 3, 2018)

sumidaj said:


> I make a mental note of all the bathrooms / parks / closing times in the areas I am in. No issues yet!


Not so easy for night drivers. Before Covid, SOME gas stations would not allow use of bathrooms after hours. Now, MANY don't.


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## cumonohito (Feb 13, 2018)

Halfmybrain said:


> Not so easy for night drivers. Before Covid, SOME gas stations would not allow use of bathrooms after hours. Now, MANY don't.


This is so true. Before covid it was so simple going to any fast food place or gas station to use the restroom, now a days, you really need to time yourself, many business are closed, fast food joints have shortened their hours, or they only do drive thru. Gas station are limiting restroom usage, they don't people lingering around.


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## sumidaj (Nov 2, 2020)

Halfmybrain said:


> Not so easy for night drivers. Before Covid, SOME gas stations would not allow use of bathrooms after hours. Now, MANY don't.


I'm a night driver!

Granted, I did think of the following just now....Im on an Island so distances aren't like huge here...in theory, I could drive 20 - 25 min from most areas and be home to use the bathroom

I also have to say that I have pretty good bladder control so that a plus! lol

But I make note of the places / fast food establishments that remain open late and more importantly keep their restrooms open....theres like 2 McDonald's in Mililani that the dine in / in store pick up stay open till midnight so thats a plus! That or I have till 9 pm to use the facilities at the on base Popeyes / BK if im in the area. I order a drink in most cases though so im not just using their place lol That and a few park restrooms that aren't gated and open 24 ours luckily.


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## UberBastid (Oct 1, 2016)

sumidaj said:


> I also have to say that I have pretty good bladder control so that a plus!


You must be young.
Time will solve that ...


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## sumidaj (Nov 2, 2020)

UberBastid said:


> You must be young.
> Time will solve that ...


Im pretty old lol time has solved a lot of my other "younger problems" though.


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## tohunt4me (Nov 23, 2015)

Monkeyman4394 said:


> Wait. What's wrong with barbarians?! Kim?!


Nothing.
Alleys are fine too.


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## Halfmybrain (Mar 3, 2018)

tohunt4me said:


> Nothing.
> Alleys are fine too.
> View attachment 540007


ALLEYS ARE NOT YOUR URINAL. I park my car back there (garage), put my recycling and trash there. Neighbors and myself walk down alley(s) to the pharmacy, chiropractor, pizza place, etc. I get some deliveries and guests through the alley.

I noticed alleys in my ward (Chicago) are among the cleanest in the city because when I first moved in, I scanned the alley for a 3 foot stick or bar to prop a window open--and realized how little scraps or debris of any kind there was. When I mentioned this and other "first impressions" to my new Alderman, he told me something that sets our area apart from others--but swore me to secrecy since people in other wards would be jealous. NO, ALLEYS AREN'T FINE.


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## UberBastid (Oct 1, 2016)

Halfmybrain said:


> ALLEYS ARE NOT YOUR URINAL. I park my car back there (garage), put my recycling and trash there. Neighbors and myself walk down alley(s) to the pharmacy, chiropractor, pizza place, etc. I get some deliveries and guests through the alley.
> 
> I noticed alleys in my ward (Chicago) are among the cleanest in the city because when I first moved in, I scanned the alley for a 3 foot stick or bar to prop a window open--and realized how little scraps or debris of any kind there was. When I mentioned this and other "first impressions" to my new Alderman, he told me something that sets our area apart from others--but swore me to secrecy since people in other wards would be jealous. NO, ALLEYS AREN'T FINE.


Ugh.
Gawd.
It must be awful to have to live there.
I'm sorry.


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