# The Secret to 5 stars every time



## Uber Amway (Aug 19, 2014)

If you're like me, you probably signed up for Uber thinking that to get five stars consistently, you needed to do the following: Keep a clear car, free of any offensive odors. Drive safely and efficiently to the drop off point as well as a reasonably quick pick up of the pax. Be conversational when the pax is chatty, and be quiet when they are not in the mood.

WRONG. 

To get five stars every time, you must WOW them. And by wow them, I mean, they need to have a cathartic experience in your car by the end of the ride. If they were in a bad mood due to personal matters (financial, relationship, etc), or if the weather made them grumpy, or if they are just typically dicks, you need to completely change their attitude. 

You must be like a therapist, concierge, magician, motivational speaker, guru of all things...

For this you will need to get plenty of sleep so that your brain is full of energy and ready to assess the pax at each pickup. 

Be sure to have snacks, water, sodas, multiple phone chargers, magazines, dvd player, WiFi hotspot, mini fridge, first aid kit, allergy pen, gum, mints, and moist towelettes to accompany the sea food dinner you have already prepared. Also, have a second entree choice in case your pax is allergic to seafood, possibly a vegan choice as well. 

If you can prepare your passengers' taxes while driving, it would go well in obtaining that coveted five star. 

When the pax exits your Nissan Sentra, be sure to go ahead and grovel some. Offer them five dollars in cash just to let them know that you do not, in any way, consider yourself to be on the same level as them and the rest of mankind. Let them know, in no uncertain terms, that you are sub-human. 

Remember: It is all about the wow factor. Think of American Idol and how some singers come out and impress the judges and get the good reviews. This is what our pax want. We must make them laugh, cry, feel good, whatever it takes. When they get out of your car, they have had an epiphany and they are ready to conquer the world for they truly are masters of the universe... and we must recognize this.


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## DC_Uber_Lyft_Driver (Sep 2, 2014)

lol

Good post.


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## DC_Uber_Lyft_Driver (Sep 2, 2014)

I was thinking of playing this during the rides. Might bring in some extra tips too.

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B004U5E0JS/?tag=ubne0c-20


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## puber (Aug 31, 2014)

Alternatively, you can buy "Hacker's guide for Dummies", hack into uber database and install a programm that changes all your ratings to five. 
Pay attention to mundane details.


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## scrurbscrud (Sep 11, 2014)

why in the hell does Uber even take chances allowing paying passengers to be rated anyway. just take their damn $$$ and move on. 

Shitty $$$ and friendly $$$ all counts the same in the end


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## Tommyo (Aug 18, 2014)

no kidding...


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## Greg (Sep 30, 2014)

most low star retings comes from lowlife demandind to be treated like kings. I don't treat my pasengers diferently.


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## uberfool (Sep 1, 2014)

I wear a low cut top when driving. 5 stars from men all the time.


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## Greg (Sep 30, 2014)

low cut on my chest won't do much


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## Emmes (Aug 27, 2014)

Then you are an "uber fool". lol


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## UL Driver SF (Aug 29, 2014)

It will never work. He forgot a well stocked selection of opiates and oxy.


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## Greg (Sep 30, 2014)

yes i'm not


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## uberfool (Sep 1, 2014)

Emmes said:


> Then you are an "uber fool". lol


Gotta do something since the rate cuts. Gets me some tips and 5 stars. I would sing for people, but then I might get too many 1 stars and be deactivated.


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## Emmes (Aug 27, 2014)

It might get you more than tips and stars ... js


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## Greg (Sep 30, 2014)

that will be a loss


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## Manja42 (Sep 29, 2014)

One of the funniest things I've read in a long time. Must have also read my mind. Well done.


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## UL Driver SF (Aug 29, 2014)

uberfool said:


> I wear a low cut top when driving. 5 stars from men all the time.


In SF you would be over dressed.


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## DriverJ (Sep 1, 2014)

Greg said:


> low cut on my chest won't do much


Same here. I do wear a very tight shirt that rides up and lets my beer gut show. When I know they're really grossed out, I tell them I'll cover it up for 5 stars.


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## cybertec69 (Jul 23, 2014)

The secret is to be me, sorry guys that is not possible, there is only one me 5****.


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## Mika (Apr 23, 2014)

Uber Amway said:


> If you're like me, you probably signed up for Uber thinking that to get five stars consistently, you needed to do the following: Keep a clear car, free of any offensive odors. Drive safely and efficiently to the drop off point as well as a reasonably quick pick up of the pax. Be conversational when the pax is chatty, and be quiet when they are not in the mood.
> 
> WRONG.
> 
> ...


This was hilarious! You should be a writer if you're not already. It really made my day.


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## elelegido (Sep 24, 2014)

scrurbscrud said:


> why in the hell does Uber even take chances allowing paying passengers to be rated anyway. just take their damn $$$ and move on.
> 
> Shitty $$$ and friendly $$$ all counts the same in the end


Because it helps us avoid the turds at 2am. I got a ping last night from a pax with a 3 rating. "Surely you jest", I thought, chuckling to myself as the little circle completed its lap on the screen before disappearing.


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## Realityshark (Sep 22, 2014)

scrurbscrud said:


> why in the hell does Uber even take chances allowing paying passengers to be rated anyway. just take their damn $$$ and move on.
> 
> Shitty $$$ and friendly $$$ all counts the same in the end


 Uber is not taking any chances with rating of their passengers. They will remain passengers no matter what they are rated. Uber does not dump bad passengers because of their ratings.


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## scrurbscrud (Sep 11, 2014)

Realityshark said:


> Uber is not taking any chances with rating of their passengers. They will remain passengers no matter what they are rated. Uber does not dump bad passengers because of their ratings.


You miss the angle of the psychopathic minds who run Uber. Drivers who consistently rate customers low have bad attitudes toward them.

Get it? It's a tool designed to weed out drivers. Has very little to do with the consumers.


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## Realityshark (Sep 22, 2014)

scrurbscrud said:


> You miss the angle of the psychopathic minds who run Uber. Drivers who consistently rate customers low have bad attitudes toward them.
> 
> Get it? It's a tool designed to weed out drivers. Has very little to do with the consumers.


 That wouldn't surprise me at all. You may be on to something.


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## scrurbscrud (Sep 11, 2014)

elelegido said:


> Because it helps us avoid the turds at 2am. I got a ping last night from a pax with a 3 rating. "Surely you jest", I thought, chuckling to myself as the little circle completed its lap on the screen before disappearing.


I am empathetic toward those who have little respect for rules and pseudo overlords.

Rulz are made for slaves.

Most low rated customers are just not that bad when standing next to some dollar bills.


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## Courageous (Sep 18, 2014)

Uber Amway said:


> If you're like me, you probably signed up for Uber thinking that to get five stars consistently, you needed to do the following: Keep a clear car, free of any offensive odors. Drive safely and efficiently to the drop off point as well as a reasonably quick pick up of the pax. Be conversational when the pax is chatty, and be quiet when they are not in the mood.
> 
> WRONG.
> 
> ...


LMAO!


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## AlongForTheRide (Oct 13, 2014)

i feel like i need all the help i can get. I've been driving only for a month. i started at 5 stars like everyone else and i dropped down to 3.87 and i don't even know why. uber even emailed me to tell me they are going to monitor me....i have managed to get my rating back up to a 4.27....i do every uber says to do: keep the car clean and odor free. offer water and mints. i ask them if the a/c is ok. i drive safe and get them to there destination in a timely manner. i have conversations with the riders. I've been there tour guide and bell hop....and i still haven't been able to get back to 5 stars.

i haven't tried the magazines and dvd player yet. i do have both of those, i can try that out.


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## Optimus Uber (Oct 7, 2014)

AlongForTheRide said:


> i feel like i need all the help i can get. I've been driving only for a month. i started at 5 stars like everyone else and i dropped down to 3.87 and i don't even know why. uber even emailed me to tell me they are going to monitor me....i have managed to get my rating back up to a 4.27....i do every uber says to do: keep the car clean and odor free. offer water and mints. i ask them if the a/c is ok. i drive safe and get them to there destination in a timely manner. i have conversations with the riders. I've been there tour guide and bell hop....and i still haven't been able to get back to 5 stars.
> 
> i haven't tried the magazines and dvd player yet. i do have both of those, i can try that out.


post your picture, there has to be something more to it.


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## LAuberX (Jun 3, 2014)

It is impossible to get "back to 5 stars" shoot for 4.8, that is above average and shows you are doing it right.


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## Realityshark (Sep 22, 2014)

AlongForTheRide said:


> i feel like i need all the help i can get. I've been driving only for a month. i started at 5 stars like everyone else and i dropped down to 3.87 and i don't even know why. uber even emailed me to tell me they are going to monitor me....i have managed to get my rating back up to a 4.27....i do every uber says to do: keep the car clean and odor free. offer water and mints. i ask them if the a/c is ok. i drive safe and get them to there destination in a timely manner. i have conversations with the riders. I've been there tour guide and bell hop....and i still haven't been able to get back to 5 stars.
> 
> i haven't tried the magazines and dvd player yet. i do have both of those, i can try that out.


 Please cut and paste the e-mail Uber sent to you.


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## AlongForTheRide (Oct 13, 2014)

sorry but it is not allowing me to paste the email...I guess it's to long I don't know.

but basically Uber was telling me how to probably use there app. they were telling to watch the training videos again to better my services.

I replied to them telling them I do everything they suggest and I still had a low rating at the time. they replied back telling me again to watch the training videos again to better myself. I was getting nowhere with trying to get help and better understand why I was receiving low rating.


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## Realityshark (Sep 22, 2014)

AlongForTheRide said:


> sorry but it is not allowing me to paste the email...I guess it's to long I don't know.
> 
> but basically Uber was telling me how to probably use there app. they were telling to watch the training videos again to better my services.
> 
> I replied to them telling them I do everything they suggest and I still had a low rating at the time. they replied back telling me again to watch the training videos again to better myself. I was getting nowhere with trying to get help and better understand why I was receiving low rating.


 Just do the best you can. It's a shame that Uber can't help you out with anything specific. It sounds like you're a new driver, If you are new then you should know that your rating will fluctuate a lot at the beginning. It'll level off after you get a few hundred rides under your belt.


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## KrisThuy (Aug 6, 2014)

showed my anaconda to every gay riders always worked for me


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## Former Yellow Driver (Sep 5, 2014)

AlongForTheRide said:


> i feel like i need all the help i can get.


You and I are in the same market. My rating is 4.88 after quite a few rides. Lowest it ever went was 4.7 something. I don't give out water, mints or anything else. I am clean and my car is clean. I hold doors and load/unload luggage. I talk to people who want to talk and shut up and drive the ones that don't. That's it. Clearly something is different between what we are doing. What areas are you working and when?


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## Tommyo (Aug 18, 2014)

Your car is not new and you are not 25?


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## Former Yellow Driver (Sep 5, 2014)

Tommyo said:


> Your car is not new and you are not 25?


If you are asking me....the answer is no and no.


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## Tommyo (Aug 18, 2014)

I can relate. My long term avg is 4.68, but I eeked out at a 4.75 this week. I drive an American car 7 years old and old enough to have proudly voted for Reagan. Question is open - yet I actually intended to direct it to the OP.


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## AlongForTheRide (Oct 13, 2014)

Former Yellow Driver said:


> You and I are in the same market. My rating is 4.88 after quite a few rides. Lowest it ever went was 4.7 something. I don't give out water, mints or anything else. I am clean and my car is clean. I hold doors and load/unload luggage. I talk to people who want to talk and shut up and drive the ones that don't. That's it. Clearly something is different between what we are doing. What areas are you working and when?


I've been driving for a month. my car is clean as it can get. i'm polite. I help with luggage. I offer water and mints. I do the best I can with what I got.

I have a full time job, so I work Uber on the weekends for extra cash. I mainly work the airport and the port. I've done malls a few times.


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## Former Yellow Driver (Sep 5, 2014)

AlongForTheRide said:


> I have a full time job, so I work Uber on the weekends for extra cash. I mainly work the airport and the port. I've done malls a few times.


The ports should provide a decent clientele that hasn't (usually) been drinking to the point that they are obnoxious and either purposely or accidentally low ball your rating. Are you also working the after midnight bar crowd?


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## scrurbscrud (Sep 11, 2014)

Most of the minor rating dings I've received have been the result of equally minor Uber GPS screwups. Must be a BAD BAD driver huh?


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## Courageous (Sep 18, 2014)

AlongForTheRide said:


> I've been driving for a month. my car is clean as it can get. i'm polite. I help with luggage. I offer water and mints. I do the best I can with what I got.
> 
> I have a full time job, so I work Uber on the weekends for extra cash. I mainly work the airport and the port. I've done malls a few times.


What car?


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## AlongForTheRide (Oct 13, 2014)

Courageous said:


> What car?


2008 Hyundai Santa Fe (SUV)


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## DC_Uber_Lyft_Driver (Sep 2, 2014)




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## Sharon Leigh (Aug 30, 2014)

Oh you have got to be joking, you let them eat up all the profit for stars.... just wow...


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## Dean Robinson (Oct 15, 2014)

Uber Amway said:


> If you're like me, you probably signed up for Uber thinking that to get five stars consistently, you needed to do the following: Keep a clear car, free of any offensive odors. Drive safely and efficiently to the drop off point as well as a reasonably quick pick up of the pax. Be conversational when the pax is chatty, and be quiet when they are not in the mood.
> 
> WRONG.
> 
> ...


Hilarious - 5 star post


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## UberLyftOrlando (Feb 14, 2016)

DC_Uber_Lyft_Driver said:


>


You must be joking right? First of all I can't stand to hear people eat, second of all he has more invested in that row of nonsense then he'll make all week with Uber. At $0.65 a mile there ain't no way I would offer them that shit. I offer magazines and free WiFi courtesy of OnStar.


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