# Ants Anonymous (Delivery)



## Ms. Mercenary (Jul 24, 2020)

This thread is for the newbies. You make a mistake and then feel bad about yourself. Well, _everyone_ makes mistakes.

I just delivered 2 Starbucks for 3.7 miles for $2.89 and $2 cash. I fell prey to the sneaky UE pop-up while you’re typing a message, and as it was quick, I thought I saw $12.85

Ordinarily, I would still cancel, but decided to go through with it.

Sitting here on the dock off the bay (literally) contemplating my life…


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## Heisenburger (Sep 19, 2016)

Ms. Mercenary said:


> Sitting here on the dock off the bay (literally) contemplating my life…


Don't drive into it! 😱


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## Ms. Mercenary (Jul 24, 2020)

Heisenburger said:


> Don't drive into it! 😱


If I didn’t hit $1/mile, I might have…


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## Ms. Mercenary (Jul 24, 2020)

There is a moral to this story though. When people say “I tip generously upon delivery in cash!” They mean exactly those stinking $2. This is why we don’t take no-tip orders and hold our breath.

The previous delivery was a coffee and an espresso shot from Dunkin going less than a mile. The ping promised $5 tip and I got a $5 ($7 total).

NO TIPPY-NO GOEY!


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## Mcwharthog (Oct 10, 2020)

Cash tips on top of app pre tips are pretty rare for me. I only accept deliveries with decent pre tips. Yesterday I had a Bob Evans delivery for 10.50$ for 4 miles. Ok, I’ll take it. I deliver to a shady, “low income neighborhood”. Before I could verify the house number a dude walks up and reaches for the food. I just hand it to him. He holds out his other hand like he wants to shake hands and when I do he puts a ten dollar bill in my hand. You just never know.


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## Trafficat (Dec 19, 2016)

I don't understand why folks complain or cherry pick. There is serious money to be made on every UberEats offer. Look at this gem I did last night... over $1 / mile, unlike DoorDash which will send me five times the distance for 14 cents less!











No cash tip on delivery either, but who needs tips when you are making over $1/mile!










Uber generously shared some extra earnings with me in the form of a 10 cent "Trip Supplement". That should help with gas!

I only had to drive 3 miles to get to the restaurant to begin, so all in all I am looking at only 4.6 miles total for these earnings.


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## MontcoUberDriver (Aug 14, 2018)

Trafficat said:


> I don't understand why folks complain or cherry pick. There is serious money to be made on every UberEats offer. Look at this gem I did last night... over $1 / mile, unlike DoorDash which will send me five times the distance for 14 cents less!
> 
> 
> View attachment 670717
> ...


Congrats on earning roughly $2.35/hour or a full dollar less than minimum wage in the 1990's


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## Ms. Mercenary (Jul 24, 2020)

Trafficat said:


> I don't understand why folks complain or cherry pick. There is serious money to be made on every UberEats offer. Look at this gem I did last night... over $1 / mile, unlike DoorDash which will send me five times the distance for 14 cents less!
> 
> 
> View attachment 670717
> ...


Why was it 46 minutes?!?!?! 😳


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## Ms. Mercenary (Jul 24, 2020)

Trafficat said:


> I don't understand why folks complain or cherry pick. There is serious money to be made on every UberEats offer. Look at this gem I did last night... over $1 / mile, unlike DoorDash which will send me five times the distance for 14 cents less!
> 
> 
> View attachment 670717
> ...


The minute you walked in the joint
I could tell you were a man of distinction
A real big spender!
😂


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## W00dbutcher (Jan 14, 2019)

Trafficat said:


> I don't understand why folks complain or cherry pick. There is serious money to be made on every UberEats offer. Look at this gem I did last night... over $1 / mile, unlike DoorDash which will send me five times the distance for 14 cents less!
> 
> 
> View attachment 670717
> ...


@Trafficat, don't take this the wrong way.

Might want to seek counseling.


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## Emptynesst (6 mo ago)

Trafficat said:


> I don't understand why folks complain or cherry pick. There is serious money to be made on every UberEats offer. Look at this gem I did last night... over $1 / mile, unlike DoorDash which will send me five times the distance for 14 cents less!
> 
> 
> View attachment 670717
> ...


I’m gonna take an Uber eats order today and not even deliver it . Smfh , gonna give it to a homeless person


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## Timlee252525 (Apr 14, 2020)

I am only take over $5/mile


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## Heisenburger (Sep 19, 2016)

Trafficat said:


> I don't understand why folks complain or cherry pick.


Well I sure do! Just look at this garbage!









$14.30 per mile?!


Can this be right? I thought there was a maximum tip as a percentage (like 50%-70%) of the total original charge?




www.uberpeople.net


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## Trafficat (Dec 19, 2016)

Ms. Mercenary said:


> Why was it 46 minutes?!?!?! 😳


It was Hong Kong Diner.

I saw customers and other drivers come in, get food, and leave while I was waiting, but I guess my order was significantly complex, being 4 different boxes.

Thankfully, due to the rapid pace of the cook, quick feet of the diner and maybe a little bit of speeding on my part, we were able to keep the delivery under 1 hour. I found the apartment building despite the complete lack of lighting by and the awnings blocking the apartment complex numbers. I just had to park near each one and get out and use my flashlight to read each number. I got lucky and found it quickly, but delivery was to the third floor. I walked through the first floor and found the stairs, but sadly, the door up to the 2nd floor stairs of the apartment building was locked. Fortunately after I called the diner, he came down in just under 8 minutes to grab his grub which I kept piping hot in my PostMates insulated bag.


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## Ms. Mercenary (Jul 24, 2020)

Trafficat said:


> It was Hong Kong Diner.
> 
> I saw customers and other drivers come in, get food, and leave while I was waiting, but I guess my order was significantly complex, being 4 different boxes.
> 
> Thankfully, due to the rapid pace of the cook, quick feet of the diner and maybe a little bit of speeding on my part, we were able to keep the delivery under 1 hour. I found the apartment building despite the complete lack of lighting by and the awnings blocking the apartment complex numbers. I just had to park near each one and get out and use my flashlight to read each number. I got lucky and found it quickly, but delivery was to the third floor. I walked through the first floor and found the stairs, but sadly, the door up to the 2nd floor stairs of the apartment building was locked. Fortunately after I called the diner, he came down in just under 8 minutes to grab his grub which I kept piping hot in my PostMates insulated bag.


I know I’m repeating myself, but you have honestly earned this. So proud of you!


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## Nats121 (Jul 19, 2017)

Trafficat said:


> I don't understand why folks complain or cherry pick. There is serious money to be made on every UberEats offer. Look at this gem I did last night... over $1 / mile, unlike DoorDash which will send me five times the distance for 14 cents less!
> 
> 
> View attachment 670717
> ...


Was that part of a double order? Because I've never seen Eats pay less than $2.00 for a single order.

I'd be surprised if that was a single order because as greedy as Uber is they're not stupid or reckless, and paying less than $2.00 is risky, given the increasing calls for govt regulation.


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## Be Right There (9 mo ago)

Ms. Mercenary said:


> I know I’m repeating myself, but you have honestly earned this. So proud of you!


"....and he has $1.57 with your name on it"

"....oh mercenary of the mandarin chicken" 

  

Those commericals rarely fail to crack me up!


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## Ms. Mercenary (Jul 24, 2020)

Be Right There said:


> "....and he has $1.57 with your name on it"
> 
> "....oh mercenary of the mandarin chicken"
> 
> ...


I know. They’re all brilliant. Best campaign Bud ever had.


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## Trafficat (Dec 19, 2016)

Nats121 said:


> Was that part of a double order? Because I've never seen Eats pay less than $2.00 for a single order.
> 
> I'd be surprised if that was a single order because as greedy as Uber is they're not stupid or reckless, and paying less than $2.00 is risky, given the increasing calls for govt regulation.


This was in a sense. It started out with a McDonalds order. I had just arrived at the McDonald's and walked into the lobby to pick it up when I got this as the second trip added on. Then the staff at McDonald's told me that they were closing early and could not make the order, so I cancelled the first order as "Restaurant Closed". Only 1 delivery shows up in my trip history, and it is this one.

However, I see many offers from Uber for a single order for right around $2. I'm not sure if the extra 34 cents would really make this deal that much more amazing.

Here is another single order from the same Hong Kong Diner a few days ago. Pay is $3.78 but notice that the trip is 6.4 miles instead of 1.6. I bet it would be $2 or less if it was 1.6 miles.

3 points tho! That makes it tote worth it.


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## Uberdriver2710 (Jul 15, 2015)

Heisenburger said:


> Don't drive into it! 😱


It's a car, not a boat! 🙂


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## Ms. Mercenary (Jul 24, 2020)

When your Regular pops up to save the day. I see those street names and..










🎶🎶_You’re heeeeere
There’s nothing I feeeeeeear🎶🎶_


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## FL_Steve (Dec 17, 2021)

Use the CANCEL button and terminate those accidental accepts with extreme prejudice!


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## Boca Ratman (Jun 6, 2018)

Trafficat said:


> I don't understand why folks complain or cherry pick. There is serious money to be made on every UberEats offer. Look at this gem I did last night... over $1 / mile, unlike DoorDash which will send me five times the distance for 14 cents less!
> 
> 
> View attachment 670717
> ...


Man, that's ALMOST 4 cents per minute. Sweet.

I


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## Heisenburger (Sep 19, 2016)

Ms. Mercenary said:


> You make a mistake and then feel bad about yourself. Well, _everyone_ makes mistakes.


In my defense guys, I was friggin desperate and really jonesing for some abuse! My hall of shame photographic evidence from the last weekend in July:


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## Ms. Mercenary (Jul 24, 2020)

Heisenburger said:


> In my defense guys, I was friggin desperate and really jonesing for some abuse! My hall of shame photographic evidence from the last weekend in July:


Ouchies.


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## Launchpad McQuack (Jan 8, 2019)

Ms. Mercenary said:


> When your Regular pops up to save the day. I see those street names and..


Back around the 1st of the year, I did a high-promo Shipt delivery. Small order from Target going about 7 miles. 80% of the items were out of stock, and the customer was taking her time replying about substitutions. Ended up being a real pain-in-the-butt order for only 2 or 3 items. As I was leaving the store, the customer texts me and tells me not to worry about it being a small order because she is still going to tip me based on the original order because it's not my fault that Target doesn't have the stuff. Okay, fine, I take customer promises to tip with a grain of salt to begin with and the original order was a small order, so I'm not all that excited about that. At least it was a high-promo order so that I am not taking a total bath on it.......although I doubted that it was going to meet my usual pay standards.

I get to the delivery address, and the customer meets me at the door and receives her 2 or 3 items and hands me a paper bill. I thank her, head back to my car, stow my delivery bags, and go to put the cash in my tip envelope when I realize that I'm holding a $100 bill in my hand. You guys are going to crucify me for this, but I texted the customer and asked her if she meant to give me $100 or if it was a mistake. I like big tips as much as the next person, but I don't want to take advantage of anybody. She said that it was intentional and thanked me again for delivering. I thanked her as profusely as I have ever thanked a customer, wrote her name and address on a sticky note, and that sticky note is still on the dashboard of my car.

Fast forward to yesterday afternoon, and it is really slow so I am sifting through Shipt orders seeing if there is anything worth doing. Shipt orders haven't been paying well lately, so I haven't been doing many. I open a Target order and almost immediately close it because it is going too far away for too little money........but then I see that address......that glorious address. Check the sticky note on my dashboard and yep, it is the same address. I tap "Accept Order" and then I get the popup notice. "This order has already been claimed by another driver." _sigh_ So close. I literally had it in my hand, and it figuratively slipped through my fingers.


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## Heisenburger (Sep 19, 2016)

Launchpad McQuack said:


> So close. I literally had it in my hand, and it figuratively slipped through my fingers.


The High!


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## Invisible (Jun 15, 2018)

Emptynesst said:


> I’m gonna take an Uber eats order today and not even deliver it . Smfh , gonna give it to a homeless person
> View attachment 670753


So you’re going to give it to another driver?


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## Invisible (Jun 15, 2018)

Launchpad McQuack said:


> Back around the 1st of the year, I did a high-promo Shipt delivery. Small order from Target going about 7 miles. 80% of the items were out of stock, and the customer was taking her time replying about substitutions. Ended up being a real pain-in-the-butt order for only 2 or 3 items. As I was leaving the store, the customer texts me and tells me not to worry about it being a small order because she is still going to tip me based on the original order because it's not my fault that Target doesn't have the stuff. Okay, fine, I take customer promises to tip with a grain of salt to begin with and the original order was a small order, so I'm not all that excited about that. At least it was a high-promo order so that I am not taking a total bath on it.......although I doubted that it was going to meet my usual pay standards.
> 
> I get to the delivery address, and the customer meets me at the door and receives her 2 or 3 items and hands me a paper bill. I thank her, head back to my car, stow my delivery bags, and go to put the cash in my tip envelope when I realize that I'm holding a $100 bill in my hand. You guys are going to crucify me for this, but I texted the customer and asked her if she meant to give me $100 or if it was a mistake. I like big tips as much as the next person, but I don't want to take advantage of anybody. She said that it was intentional and thanked me again for delivering. I thanked her as profusely as I have ever thanked a customer, wrote her name and address on a sticky note, and that sticky note is still on the dashboard of my car.
> 
> Fast forward to yesterday afternoon, and it is really slow so I am sifting through Shipt orders seeing if there is anything worth doing. Shipt orders haven't been paying well lately, so I haven't been doing many. I open a Target order and almost immediately close it because it is going too far away for too little money........but then I see that address......that glorious address. Check the sticky note on my dashboard and yep, it is the same address. I tap "Accept Order" and then I get the popup notice. "This order has already been claimed by another driver." _sigh_ So close. I literally had it in my hand, and it figuratively slipped through my fingers.


Sweet of you to ask her and so amazing of her to give such a generous tip!


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