# Shit Uber passengers say



## JaxBeachDriver (Nov 27, 2014)

"It's been like 12 hours already. I put in the wrong address. Can you come get me, or do you want me to cancel?"

"So, we're good right?"

"How much is my fare up to now?"

"Like, did my promo code work? Is this gonna be free?"

"It's ok if I spill this, you've got leather seats."

"Nobody cares about open containers anymore."

"We have 7 people, but we're not going far."

"Can we make a quick pit stop?"

"Can you take me to my drug dealer's house? Hahahah."

"Do you ever feel threatened? Do you get annoyed with people? Do you hate it when people ask you questions?"

"Ooh, let's snapchat this! Caption: Uber ride!"

"Uber selfies!"

"I read that Uber drivers make $90,000 a year!"


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## CowboyMC (Aug 26, 2014)

"The tip is included in the fare, right?"
"Do you have change for a hundred dollar bill?"
"Sorry, I don't have any change."


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## UberHustla (Dec 2, 2014)

You guys must drive Bentleys as your second car, considering you guys make 90k per week

Do you think your son will go to Harvard or Yale? Since you guys make 90k per week

Have you considered purchasing a sports franchise since you make 90k per week?


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## just drive (Oct 29, 2014)

For us foreigners:
Where are you from?
What is like like there?..me: we have weather and roads 

How long have you been here?
Do you like it here?
Why did you come? (I should start saying I came just to drive uber x and become rich j

I like messing with people bad in geography. 
Where are you from?
Xxxx country
Oh that's nice!
Small pause.... Do you know where it is?
Yeah...Yeah.....
Another small pause....so where is it?......
That's the best part


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## JaxBeachDriver (Nov 27, 2014)

I'm terrible with geography.

Latvia? Um, is that like the Netherlands? Or is that Lithuania? Or are they close? I'm so bad!


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## UberHustla (Dec 2, 2014)

Usually if you say "oh, they have a good soccer team, right?" you have a 30% chance of sounding like you know what you're talking about


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## DjTim (Oct 18, 2014)

just drive said:


> For us foreigners:
> Where are you from?
> What is like like there?..me: we have weather and roads
> 
> ...


LOL! I'll admit that my world geography isn't that great. I use to understand polish due to my great grandmother, grandmother & mother teaching works and phrases to me, but never spoke it. Many of the languages like Russian, Ukrainian, Czech have words and phrases that cross languages. I had 3 riders on Halloween and they were conversing in what I thought was Czech. I was wrong, it was Serbian, and then they started testing me on eastern bloc countries and I failed miserably LOL. They were good riders, and we talked a bit, but that was the last time that I've stated I know a bit about a foreign language.


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## UberJames (Dec 13, 2014)

I don't have to tip you right? (Said with a lisp)

That one actually made me kick the passenger out of my car as I had not said on my phone that I arrived. 

I just said - "get out"!

I chuckled to myself then I said seriously....

"I mean it. Get the **** out of my car!"


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## Elite Uber Driver (Nov 15, 2014)

Uber gave you a really nice car. 

Me: Yeah I really lucked out.


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## JaxBeachDriver (Nov 27, 2014)

Elite Uber Driver said:


> Uber gave you a really nice car.
> 
> Me: Yeah I really lucked out.


What do you drive?


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## JaxBeachDriver (Nov 27, 2014)

Passenger: "I'm sorry we're so obnoxious."
Me: "You guys are fine."
Other passenger: "We're not ****ing obnoxious! I'm sorry I annoyed you with my friendship! Look! Look!" She holds up her phone so I can see it in my rear view mirror displaying a meme that said, "I'm sorry I annoyed you with my friendship."
(Then says something along the lines of "So **** you.")

They were obnoxious -- wrong pickup address (called to make sure I "wasn't lost"), in a hurry, open container, 5 passengers on UberX (they were lucky I could accommodate), loud as hell, more important than anyone else, left trash in the car, slammed the door.

Then, they had the nerve to ask, as they're getting out, if they'll have any luck getting home from that remote location later. I told them they'd probably be fine. Yeah, like I'm gonna put up with their shit, and go way the **** out of my way for people who don't even tip.

I submitted for fare review and didn't get a chance to rate them! Ugh!


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## SgtMurphy (Apr 28, 2014)

"You're the first white Uber I've ever seen."

"This is the best uber I've ever been in." (No Tip despite sign explaining the tip thing including Chicago style footnotes)

"You're definitely getting 5 stars!" (No Tip despite sign explaining the tip thing including Chicago style footnotes)

"I wish I could give you 6 stars."(No Tip despite sign explaining the tip thing including Chicago style footnotes)

"I will definitely have a water. And mints? Oh my god you're amazing." (No Tip despite sign explaining the tip thing including Chicago style footnotes)

*At least the saints on other trips walk the walk, and hooked it up with $45 in tips last night.

2014: year one of uber slowly becoming a technocratic neo libertarian nightmare with shit drivers.

Murph:
Struggling and surviving.

"MERRY CHRISTMAS!----HOLY SHIT!"
-Clark W. Griswold*


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## timmyolo (Sep 5, 2014)

murph no longer MIA

I thought I was the only white uber driver, damn
and merry christmas to you too


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## Lee56 (Dec 14, 2014)

JaxBeachDriver said:


> "It's been like 12 hours already. I put in the wrong address. Can you come get me, or do you want me to cancel?"
> 
> "So, we're good right?"
> 
> ...


I hate it when they ask the same question, just reword it because there shit faced. Chick asked same question 3 different ways. It was annoying.


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## JaxBeachDriver (Nov 27, 2014)

Lee56 said:


> I hate it when they ask the same question, just reword it because there shit faced. Chick asked same question 3 different ways. It was annoying.


What was the question?


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## UberHustla (Dec 2, 2014)

Had a rider tell me last night that she heard Uber drivers in SF make 100k per year. Almost drove off the road into a ditch


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## Lee56 (Dec 14, 2014)

JaxBeachDriver said:


> What was the question?


This drunk women was wasted beyond all belief.

-"So what's it like driving for uber"?

- "what is it like driving for uber"?

-" Do you like driving for uber, what's it like"?

She sat up front, and had that funky drunk dragon breath. It was awfull. She got right next to memy face when asking


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## just drive (Oct 29, 2014)

UberHustla said:


> Had a rider tell me last night that she heard Uber drivers in SF make 100k per year. Almost drove off the road into a ditch


You should have replied, oh that's for part timers


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## UberHustla (Dec 2, 2014)

just drive said:


> You should have replied, oh that's for part timers


LOL true. That's for the weekend warriors


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## prdelnik666 (Sep 17, 2014)

"Ill give you 5stars!"
Me: "thanks, those are hard to deposit at the bank"
Or me again: "gee thanks, too bad I can't buy anything with them. Oh well, Im just going to sell my kidneys on EBay later today"


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## timmyolo (Sep 5, 2014)

Lee56 said:


> I hate it when they ask the same question, just reword it because there shit faced. Chick asked same question 3 different ways. It was annoying.





JaxBeachDriver said:


> What was the question?


what question is it they ask in different ways?

And what question is that?


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## uberAdam78 (Nov 8, 2014)

one pax asked me...
I have a dui and a device that i have to blow into to start my car, do you think I could still drive?


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## Hi_Ko (Sep 22, 2014)

just drive said:


> For us foreigners:
> Where are you from?
> What is like like there?..me: we have weather and roads
> 
> ...


Everyday!!!!))))))


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## RideshareGuru (Nov 17, 2014)

JaxBeachDriver said:


> "It's been like 12 hours already. I put in the wrong address. Can you come get me, or do you want me to cancel?"
> 
> "So, we're good right?"
> 
> ...


"Uber is so expensive!"

"I never use Uber during surge"

"I would drive for Uber, but I've got 2 DUIs"

"I shouldn't have gotten that 2nd one, I wasn't even drunk, I was doing pot and cocaine!"

"Do you have a real job too?"

"My friend drives for Uber, he loves it."

"Can I tip through the app?"

"I'm going 50 miles, is it going to be more than $30?"


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## duggles (Aug 25, 2014)

I actually had a great Lyft ride this past weekend. 

The guy gets in and says, "Hope you don't mind, this one is going to be a round tripper." Meh, slow out, don't mind the extra miles, but not excited about a stop and ask where we're going. He gives me cross streets in a meh part of town and says we're just going to pick something up. Great, drug deal, I'm thinking. Then he gets in the car and tries to call someone. "Voicemail, it's not supposed to go to voicemail right now." Definitely a drug deal, I think. Dealers never pick up when you need them to. Then he calls back and this time he says, "I need two pounds of crawfish, two pounds of snow crag legs, both spicy hot cajun."

I'm like, "Yeah buddy! Are we going to the Crawling Crab?" 

"Even better," he says, "Asian Cajun!" So I call in my own order of calamari. He explains that he's getting drunk later and doesn't want late night shitty drunk food, so he's picking up his munchies in advance from somewhere great. We go and pick it up. He gets back in and we joke about drivers that change music to suit passengers. And he tells me about how it's funny being black on these car rides sometimes. Tells me about a driver that had Rush Limbaugh playing when he got in the car, he didn't really care but when Rush started going off about black people the guy turned down the radio and apologized to him. I tell him at this point that he's one of my favorite riders, that I have a lot of respect for his drunk munchie preparation. 

While on our way back he asks if I wouldn't mind stopping at a grocery store. Not only is this his drunk munchies but he wants to get a few ingredients to make a gumbo during the snow storm forecasted for the next day. He says he knows right where they are and will be out in 5. At this point, I have too much respect for his food taste to say no, so we stop. He's a quick five minutes. We get to his home base and he tells me he never rates drivers a 5 but with my knowledge of the city and appreciation for good food, I'd be his first 5 star. I wanted to explain to him the problem with that, but didn't want to sour our good ride. Guy ended up tipping $5 on a $21 fare. Not bad. And I was thrilled that my car smelled like crawfish boil for another hour afterwards, except that it kept me hungry, despite my calamari. Anyway, this ride was up my alley, definitely one of the better ones I've had.


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## RideshareGuru (Nov 17, 2014)

JaxBeachDriver said:


> Passenger: "I'm sorry we're so obnoxious."
> Me: "You guys are fine."
> Other passenger: "We're not ****ing obnoxious! I'm sorry I annoyed you with my friendship! Look! Look!" She holds up her phone so I can see it in my rear view mirror displaying a meme that said, "I'm sorry I annoyed you with my friendship."
> (Then says something along the lines of "So **** you.")
> ...


I always get the rating in, you can always email support with the trip ID for the fare review, they just send you an email asking what the problem was anyway.


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## LookyLou (Apr 28, 2014)

duggles said:


> I actually had a great Lyft ride this past weekend.
> 
> The guy gets in and says, "Hope you don't mind, this one is going to be a round tripper." Meh, slow out, don't mind the extra miles, but not excited about a stop and ask where we're going. He gives me cross streets in a meh part of town and says we're just going to pick something up. Great, drug deal, I'm thinking. Then he gets in the car and tries to call someone. "Voicemail, it's not supposed to go to voicemail right now." Definitely a drug deal, I think. Dealers never pick up when you need them to. Then he calls back and this time he says, "I need two pounds of crawfish, two pounds of snow crag legs, both spicy hot cajun."
> 
> ...


These are the kind of rides I will miss.


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## timmyolo (Sep 5, 2014)

damn duggles, that is NOT the sort of story we are looking for on this thread!

but so glad you had a good ride...


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## duggles (Aug 25, 2014)

Ok... how about... 

Rider: "You're going the wrong way." 
Driver: "XX E Xing St?"
Rider: "It's WEST."
Driver: "Well, unfortunately, you didn't specify E or W when you gave the address and this is what Uber's GPS directed based on the info you provided." 
Rider: mutters "1 star."


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## RideshareGuru (Nov 17, 2014)

duggles said:


> Ok... how about...
> 
> Rider: "You're going the wrong way."
> Driver: "XX E Xing St?"
> ...


Driver response: "Get the **** out and shove your star up your ass".


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## Frank Martin (Nov 12, 2014)

"How much are the free drinks?"


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## UL Driver SF (Aug 29, 2014)

Passenger....you're going the wrong way.

Me...24 hr Starbucks on California right?

Passenger...Yea but it back the other way? We are going the wrong way.

Me...(pulls up to the Starbucks in question) we're here.

Passenger...What? Uh...oh...hmmm....do you want some coffee?

LOL....we drove 2 blocks. Seems he was kinda turned around.


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## santa claus (Dec 21, 2014)

" do you ever get any weird passengers?" followed by, " did you ever get a rider that asked you to take them somewhere?"


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## Subauber14 (Nov 14, 2014)

"Can I **** some girl in your car bro"
" So how does this Uber thing work"
"What's some crazy stories" 
" How much is this ride going to cost"


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## Casuale Haberdasher (Dec 7, 2014)

RideshareGuru said:


> Driver response: "Get the **** out and shove your star up your ass".


THREAD # 30/ RSGURU: Best laugh of the day!
Thank you.


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## Dennis cubas (Sep 6, 2014)

It's true.. a looooot of stories like that happen here.. but the worst thing is when something happen with a customer and actually isn't your fault and you're deactivated because of that and the stupid people from uber they don't listen to your story... this sucks.


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## DriverJ (Sep 1, 2014)

Frank Martin said:


> "How much are the free drinks?"


$0.90/mile, the other half of the fare, as we drivers call it.


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## OCLove (Dec 5, 2014)

"The other Uber driver had snacks"
"Do I call you when I need to be pick-up?"
When asked what music they'd like to listen to "Gangsta Rap lol" 
"You don't have XM Radio?"
"Taxi drivers hate Uber"


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## newsboy559 (Oct 14, 2014)

duggles said:


> Ok... how about...
> 
> Rider: "You're going the wrong way."
> Driver: "XX E Xing St?"
> ...


At that point, I would have stated the ride is over, get out. LOL If you're going to get 1 star, you might as well earn it, I say.


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## duggles (Aug 25, 2014)

"Don't worry. I've known this guy all my life and he's never puked." About 10 minutes before that other guy puked in my car.


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## RideshareGuru (Nov 17, 2014)

duggles said:


> "Don't worry. I've known this guy all my life and he's never puked." About 10 minutes before that other guy puked in my car.


Hope you got the $250


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## duggles (Aug 25, 2014)

Got $200. Was my first and only puker in 560 rides.


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## RideshareGuru (Nov 17, 2014)

duggles said:


> Got $200. Was my first and only puker in 560 rides.


I'm at 2400 rides and 3 pukers, all on Lyft. I also have 3 ejections, all on Uber.


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## UL Driver SF (Aug 29, 2014)

Dennis cubas said:


> It's true.. a looooot of stories like that happen here.. but the worst thing is when something happen with a customer and actually isn't your fault and you're deactivated because of that and the stupid people from uber they don't listen to your story... this sucks.


I would love to know how often this actually happens.

This is where video evidence would make a huge impact. It might also support a civil suit against the passenger.


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## weidyli (Nov 23, 2014)

"how do i tip you?"
inside me "with cash of coz!!! "
outside me "its not necessary"


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## No-tippers-suck (Oct 20, 2014)

DjTim said:


> LOL! I'll admit that my world geography isn't that great. I use to understand polish due to my great grandmother, grandmother & mother teaching works and phrases to me, but never spoke it. Many of the languages like Russian, Ukrainian, Czech have words and phrases that cross languages. I had 3 riders on Halloween and they were conversing in what I thought was Czech. I was wrong, it was Serbian, and then they started testing me on eastern bloc countries and I failed miserably LOL. They were good riders, and we talked a bit, but that was the last time that I've stated I know a bit about a foreign language.


*A-HA ! DjTim again..... lol*
Polish roots? explains why Chicago already.

I do tell them that I came from Germany two years ago.. 
If they ask me if I came with my family or by my self I say *no just me and my cat.*
Then I sometimes show this picture (it's not my cat actually but most don't get the message and just say aww.. how cute..)










eventually I should show them more pics like this one :


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## UL Driver SF (Aug 29, 2014)

Bwahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!

You need to photoshop a NAZI armband on that critter.


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## JaxBeachDriver (Nov 27, 2014)

"I was expecting a well-dressed black man, not a woman."

I suppose to complete the antithesis, he was also implying that my attire was lacking.


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## UL Driver SF (Aug 29, 2014)

JaxBeachDriver said:


> "I was expecting a well-dressed black man, not a woman."
> 
> I suppose to complete the antithesis, he was also implying that my attire was lacking.


You should have said you used to be a black man but had the Michael Jackson conversion operation because you were getting pulled over to often.


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## JaxBeachDriver (Nov 27, 2014)

UL Driver SF said:


> You should have said you used to be a black man but had the Michael Jackson conversion operation because you were getting pulled over to often.


dammit! That would've been so perfect.


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## JaxBeachDriver (Nov 27, 2014)

UL Driver SF said:


> You should have said you used to be a black man but had the Michael Jackson conversion operation because you were getting pulled over to often.


Also, #YouKnowYoureInTheSouthWhen they expect their servants to be a certain color.


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## UL Driver SF (Aug 29, 2014)

JaxBeachDriver said:


> Also, #YouKnowYoureInTheSouthWhen they expect their servants to be a certain color.


Holy shit that is just too funny!!!!!


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## UberDude2 (Nov 19, 2014)

UberHustla said:


> Usually if you say "oh, they have a good soccer team, right?" you have a 30% chance of sounding like you know what you're talking about


...and if you say futbol that percentage doubles, plus you get brownie points (but sadly still no tip)


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## UberDude2 (Nov 19, 2014)

"But they (uber) pay for the gas right?"

"Doesn't it feel weird driving around strangers in your car"


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## RideshareGuru (Nov 17, 2014)

No-tippers-suck said:


> *A-HA ! DjTim again..... lol*
> Polish roots? explains why Chicago already.
> 
> I do tell them that I came from Germany two years ago..
> ...


Adolph Kittler! lol

Sieg Meow!


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## JaxBeachDriver (Nov 27, 2014)

After lighting up a cigarette: "Oh, shit. I'm sorry. I thought we were out of the car." (Wasted.)


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## Arsenalfan (Feb 21, 2016)

just drive said:


> For us foreigners:
> Where are you from?
> What is like like there?..me: we have weather and roads
> 
> ...


Bhgghhh


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## MissUberM (Jan 3, 2015)

JaxBeachDriver said:


> I'm terrible with geography.
> 
> Latvia? Um, is that like the Netherlands? Or is that Lithuania? Or are they close? I'm so bad!


Hahaha funny you should mention Latvia, that's where I'm from. At least your guesses were on the right continent, I once was asked by a passenger if it's next to Columbia... 
The most common reply I get is "Oh! So you're Russian!" Umm no, I am NOT russian... Lately I don't even bother telling them I'm from Latvia, I just say I'm from Europe, that satisfies most of them


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