# The 15 Stages of the New Driver



## Backdash (Jan 28, 2015)

1- Ready the car.
Excited and optimistic! Clean car (some will detail), bottled water, mints/gum, phone chargers, tissues, etc..

2- Honeymoon
This is fun! Passengers are cool, I'm making money! Ubering is awesome!

3- No tips?!?
Passengers are cheap!

4- Ratings anxiety
OMG! Why are my ratings tanking?!?! Who rated me so low? I'm nice to everybody and haven't had any problems!

5- Cancellation frustration
Why would they cancel? I was almost there! This is bullshit!

6- Waiting irritation
Who do these people think they are? Wasting my time and costing me money!

7- Drunks
ARGHHH!

8- Payday!
Hmm, this isn't what I was expecting. what are all these numbers?

9- Earnings reality check
umm, errr, uhhh, expenses/hours worked?

10- Insurance
WAIT! Explain that to me again please.

11- Uber support disappointment
Are they serious with the email replies for assistance?

12- SRF confusion
WAIT! Explain that to me again please

13- This kinda sucks...
Ubering is not so awesome

14- Oh well I'll do the best I can
Lets see what happens going forward

15- Screw this crap
I'll just chalk the whole thing up as a learning experience....

(yea, I am bored)


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## SECOTIME (Sep 18, 2015)

basically all true. throw in some puke and the occasional flat tire and you're set

#1 is very LoLworthy


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## Fuzzyelvis (Dec 7, 2014)

Missed the part where you try to figure out why there are so many scratches the inside of your doors now -- oh and what is that smell?

Oh yeah. Eau De Taxi.


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## Skinny1 (Sep 24, 2015)

3 weeks in and man you nailed it. I'm on that tipping stage.


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## RachelD (Sep 13, 2015)

lol. I'm at stage 4. However, I only EVER have drunk passengers since day 1 because I drive on game days, so I'll probably skip that stage. I've been lucky about the tips. Out of 83 rides I've had $2, $6, $100, $100, $5, and $20. . . So, overall as a percentage of my total fare worth, it's reasonable, but it's declining and it's annoying that so many don't even consider a tip. . .


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## Coachman (Sep 22, 2015)

I'm in the ratings anxiety stage. For the first two weeks I had a nice 4.89 stars. Over the past two days my rating plunged to 4.71. I started using Waze and suddenly passengers are complaining about the driving directions.


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## Txponygirl (Oct 4, 2015)

#1 - 5 Check #8 Check, the rest TBD...


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## HOUTXRon (Aug 23, 2015)

Good compilation!

Drunk *****y *****es wearing hooker perfume, people sharing their sob stories, and you trying to play the unlicensed shrink all could fit somewhere under #7.


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## PhoenicianBlind (Aug 31, 2015)

Hit stage 15 on Sep 11 here in Phoenix when rate cuts became real instead of something happening to other cities.

Now I'm trying to hold on to Lyft but my grip is waning and my resume is getting fired off like the Hershey squirts from a tijuana tourist.


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## Allybizzle (Oct 4, 2015)

So true! Sooo true!! And Uber support? I'm better off asking a monkey!!


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## Wil_Iam_Fuber'd (Aug 17, 2015)

Hit Stage 15 a few weeks ago. 10/16 I sign off for the final time! I have a special T shirt I'll be wearing at the Chi rally. Maybe some of you will see it on TV. If they have the balls to show it! Anyone care to guess the "theme".


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## William1964 (Jul 28, 2015)

Tipping never bothered me not getting tips still don't bother me

1 8 5 4 7 11.

I like the job and I can afford another 5% as long as over is fined 10%.


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## SECOTIME (Sep 18, 2015)

Skinny1 said:


> 3 weeks in and man you nailed it. I'm on that tipping stage.


im on #13 this week


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## haji (Jul 17, 2014)

I well beyond stage 15 try to educate new drivers after 3 years driving.


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## Desert Driver (Nov 9, 2014)

Backdash said:


> 1- Ready the car.
> Excited and optimistic! Clean car (some will detail), bottled water, mints/gum, phone chargers, tissues, etc..
> 
> 2- Honeymoon
> ...


I am a malnourished coyote and I approve this message.


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## Old Rocker (Aug 20, 2015)

5 weeks on, #14.

Kid in college...


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## Sacto Burbs (Dec 28, 2014)

Old Rocker said:


> 5 weeks on, #14.
> 
> Kid in college...


Kid driving for UBer/LYft too I hope.


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## jrboy (Sep 14, 2015)

William1964 said:


> Tipping never bothered me not getting tips still don't bother me
> 
> 1 8 5 4 7 11.
> 
> I like the job and I can afford another 5% as long as over is fined 10%.


not getting tips doesn't bother me either, but what does bother me is that uber actually tells pax not to tip us for our service. that should be reason enough for the strike on the 16th.


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## MiddleClassedOut (Jun 11, 2015)

Don't forget to add a line for that lucky surge fare you always get in your first week or so.

I'm pretty sure Uber programs their request routing the same way slot machines are programmed - ie., in the first 10 minutes you'll probably win something, and that will keep you playing. Same for new Uber drivers, in the first two weeks you will hit a small jackpot to hook you in.

I remember in my first month the lucky surge fares were just enough to make me think this was worth doing, when even after three weeks I was doing my math and seeing the reality for what it is. Now the only time I can bank on a surge fare is during a major event that clogs the city for half a day or a thunderstorm at rush hour. Oh, and 15 minutes during the bar closings, but good luck with hitting more than one.


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## Dementedhumor (Nov 8, 2015)

I haven't started Uber yet but having been a cab driver in St. Charles for two years and now driving for a car service I can relate. My plan is to do Uber on the side while I do my regular gig (since I only work about 30hrs a week for the car service).

This list is pretty much how it goes for cabbies as well. The only part I didn't like about it were the hours. The company I worked for required you to work from 5:00 till 5:00 and I did the PM till AM. I liked working nights but not when we were slow and not such long hours. I never stopped having fun with it when I drove a cab at nights though. I always had stuff to give out to people when it was their birthday and I never tired of hearing the phrase, "Best cab driver ever!" even though I new for a fact I wasn't the only one receiving that praise. I loved decorating my cab for holidays and wearing a Santa hat in December with little Christmas lights on it. I did this for me though, not for tips. The trick is the same with any occupation. Have fun. Do what you love. People who have been drinking let their BS masks go. If you don't judge, you can usually find the part of them that resonates with you, even if it's just sharing a chorus of an old 80's tune as loud as you can belt it out. Amazing things can happen when you take this attitude. I got to meet a radio personality who's career I followed for years before he became famous at a vip lounge in Sauget. The guys who brought me there had no idea who they were meeting. They just knew they liked me and it was important for them that I have a good time so they basically paid me to hang out with them. The one guy kept pressing me to find out if I was having a good time. I said yes but I remember thinking, you have no idea.


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## JimS (Aug 18, 2015)

#16 - Wow! Hot girl (or guy) in my car. Mmmm! Wait a min..no..don't.... Argh! PUKED in my CAR! Cleaned it up, and 10 minutes later, the 2nd surge of the night. This time she got the window open and got it all over the outside, too!

#17 - OK. Rate cuts. Guarantees! I can do this. What the... What do you mean I missed getting the guarantee? Or I'm supposed to be happy you paid up $0.78? What? It's based on GROSS fares? How do these damn guarantees work anyway? Why do I now have to go 15 minutes behind me just because I can't turn any pings away?


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## MikesUber (Oct 23, 2015)

Dementedhumor said:


> I haven't started Uber yet but having been a cab driver in St. Charles for two years and now driving for a car service I can relate. My plan is to do Uber on the side while I do my regular gig (since I only work about 30hrs a week for the car service).
> 
> This list is pretty much how it goes for cabbies as well. The only part I didn't like about it were the hours. The company I worked for required you to work from 5:00 till 5:00 and I did the PM till AM. I liked working nights but not when we were slow and not such long hours. I never stopped having fun with it when I drove a cab at nights though. I always had stuff to give out to people when it was their birthday and I never tired of hearing the phrase, "Best cab driver ever!" even though I new for a fact I wasn't the only one receiving that praise. I loved decorating my cab for holidays and wearing a Santa hat in December with little Christmas lights on it. I did this for me though, not for tips. The trick is the same with any occupation. Have fun. Do what you love. People who have been drinking let their BS masks go. If you don't judge, you can usually find the part of them that resonates with you, even if it's just sharing a chorus of an old 80's tune as loud as you can belt it out. Amazing things can happen when you take this attitude. I got to meet a radio personality who's career I followed for years before he became famous at a vip lounge in Sauget. The guys who brought me there had no idea who they were meeting. They just knew they liked me and it was important for them that I have a good time so they basically paid me to hang out with them. The one guy kept pressing me to find out if I was having a good time. I said yes but I remember thinking, you have no idea.


Just came across your comment, very refreshing to see your attitude. If you've started with Uber I hope it's going well.

I absolutely love driving, yes even at .90/mile *tear* I mean heck yeah I want more money but this is just a part time gig in addition to my F/T work. Like you said I always have fun with my pax and being an open, positive optimistic person will take you far! So many funny crazy stories driving but I've been open and welcoming to everyone. I've had everything from drunk students to aerospace engineers, Uber employees to guys in drag lol


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