# Proper driver hygiene



## ftupelo (Mar 18, 2018)

On this episode of Frank talk with Frank Tupelo I'd like to discuss proper driver hygiene. Having used Uber services as a rider myself, I know for a fact that many of you ants have hygiene just as bad as our pax. I challenge you to be better. Our pax should never be more dapper than us operators. I would suggest you take some tips from yours truly to help you reach the pinnacle of purveyors of livery services. Below is just a taste of my routine prior to leaving my manor to beginning serving my clients:

Bathe and exfoliate: it goes without saying that all ants should bathe prior to hitting that online button. While bathing, I suggest exfoliating your facial pores so as not have other cars headlights gleaming off your oily skin.
Moisturize: "but Frank how do I maintain soft supple skin after exfoliating with with my Aveda face wash?" I suggest buying a high quality moisturizer similar to oil of olay's regeneriste and using that along with a moisturizer that includes at least a 15spf sunblock. UV rays are an ants worst enemy when it comes to maintaining a youthful glow.
Coif your hair: Franky always perfectly coifs his hair with crew pomade or similar such products
Cologne: if you ants insist on wearing some eau de toilette please keep in mind that less is more and a bespoke fragrance to accent one's naturally occurring pheromones is essential. Please put down the old spice, cool water, drakkar noir, and god forbid axe body spray or aqua velva.
Brush your damn teeth: Franky-boy likes to use an oral-b electronic brush with a rotating head for a superior cleaning. Also, please invest in a quality toothpaste-I prefer Toms of Maine.
Wipe your ass clean: I swear I've been in Ubercabs and the driver smells like his ass is chalk full of shit. Since you heathens refuse to take after myself and our refined friends across the pond and install a bidet in your restroom at least purchase pre-moisturized personal wipes.
Shave: finally it is imperative to shave immediately before you go online so as not to have to visible stubble. I prefer the art of shaving Burban Kingsman limited addition cream found at Neiman Marcus. Apply liberally with a genuine badger hair brush. Also lose your cheapskate dollar shave club crap and buy a straight edge for God's sake - you are no longer a prepubescent boy learning to shave for the first time - time to shave like a man.
Remember ants these are just of a few steps I take prior to leaving the house. It is up to us to elevate the profession. We all want to receive the respect from our friends and family that we know we deserve. Do these simple things and we will bring honour to this profession soon enough.

Toodles,

Franky


----------



## Cableguynoe (Feb 14, 2017)

Welcome back lilCindy!


----------



## Fuzzyelvis (Dec 7, 2014)

ftupelo said:


> On this episode of _Frank talk with Frank Tupelo* I'd like to discuss proper driver hygiene. Having used Uber services as a rider myself, I know for a fact that many of you ants have hygiene just as bad as our pax. I challenge you to be better. Our pax should never be more dapper than us operators. I would suggest you take some tips from yours truly to help you reach the pinnacle of purveyors of livery services. Below is just a taste of my routine prior to leaving my manor to beginning serving my clients:*_
> 
> *Bathe and exfoliate: it goes without saying that all ants should bathe prior to hitting that online button. While bathing, I suggest exfoliating your facial pores so as not have other cars headlights gleaming off your oily skin.*
> *Moisturize: "but Frank how do I maintain soft supple skin after exfoliating with with my Aveda face wash?" I suggest buying a high quality moisturizer similar to oil of olay's regeneriste and using that along with a moisturizer that includes at least a 15spf sunblock. UV rays are an ants worst enemy when it comes to maintaining a youthful glow.*
> ...


The pax are lucky if they get drivers who can afford toilet paper.

Is wiping included at these rates?


----------



## Cableguynoe (Feb 14, 2017)

Fuzzyelvis said:


> The pax are lucky if they get drivers who can afford toilet paper.
> 
> Is wiping included at these rates?


Of course wiping is included.

2 wipes are included.

If 2 is not enough then that's going to explain your BO problems.


----------



## Uber's Guber (Oct 22, 2017)

ftupelo said:


> On this episode of Frank talk with Frank Tupelo I'd like to discuss proper driver hygiene.


I think I know who you are..... you're that guy who survives on a heavy rich diet of cumin and curry.


----------



## jgiun1 (Oct 16, 2017)

You forgot to clean your flip flops regularly on summer months..... Mine are always spotless and naked feet and toes happy to be in em


----------



## JMlyftuber (Feb 24, 2018)

jgiun1 said:


> You forgot to clean your flip flops regularly on summer months..... Mine are always spotless and naked feet and toes happy to be in em


I don't even wear shoes. You'll know why once one of your flip-flops gets wrapped around the pedals and suddenly you're accelerating uncontrollably. And Frank, the word you're looking for is chock, not chalk. My hygiene routine: shower, brush teeth, re-do my ponytail. No cologne, no deodorant, if my mustache is getting in my teeth I clip it, but leave my beard growing wild as Sasquatch. Ladies love my rugged manliness and witty banter.


----------



## Dropking (Aug 18, 2017)

ftupelo said:


> On this episode of Frank talk with Frank Tupelo I'd like to discuss proper driver hygiene. Having used Uber services as a rider myself, I know for a fact that many of you ants have hygiene just as bad as our pax. I challenge you to be better. Our pax should never be more dapper than us operators. I would suggest you take some tips from yours truly to help you reach the pinnacle of purveyors of livery services. Below is just a taste of my routine prior to leaving my manor to beginning serving my clients:
> 
> Bathe and exfoliate: it goes without saying that all ants should bathe prior to hitting that online button. While bathing, I suggest exfoliating your facial pores so as not have other cars headlights gleaming off your oily skin.
> Moisturize: "but Frank how do I maintain soft supple skin after exfoliating with with my Aveda face wash?" I suggest buying a high quality moisturizer similar to oil of olay's regeneriste and using that along with a moisturizer that includes at least a 15spf sunblock. UV rays are an ants worst enemy when it comes to maintaining a youthful glow.
> ...


You are doing everything correct except forgetting to pull the lemon-scented cattle prod out of your ass each morning.


----------



## upyouruber (Jul 24, 2017)

ftupelo said:


> On this episode of Frank talk with Frank Tupelo I'd like to discuss proper driver hygiene. Having used Uber services as a rider myself, I know for a fact that many of you ants have hygiene just as bad as our pax. I challenge you to be better. Our pax should never be more dapper than us operators. I would suggest you take some tips from yours truly to help you reach the pinnacle of purveyors of livery services. Below is just a taste of my routine prior to leaving my manor to beginning serving my clients:
> 
> Bathe and exfoliate: it goes without saying that all ants should bathe prior to hitting that online button. While bathing, I suggest exfoliating your facial pores so as not have other cars headlights gleaming off your oily skin.
> Moisturize: "but Frank how do I maintain soft supple skin after exfoliating with with my Aveda face wash?" I suggest buying a high quality moisturizer similar to oil of olay's regeneriste and using that along with a moisturizer that includes at least a 15spf sunblock. UV rays are an ants worst enemy when it comes to maintaining a youthful glow.
> ...


I do all of the above before starting a shift including braiding my nose hair!


----------



## 1.5xorbust (Nov 22, 2017)

ftupelo said:


> On this episode of Frank talk with Frank Tupelo I'd like to discuss proper driver hygiene. Having used Uber services as a rider myself, I know for a fact that many of you ants have hygiene just as bad as our pax. I challenge you to be better. Our pax should never be more dapper than us operators. I would suggest you take some tips from yours truly to help you reach the pinnacle of purveyors of livery services. Below is just a taste of my routine prior to leaving my manor to beginning serving my clients:
> 
> Bathe and exfoliate: it goes without saying that all ants should bathe prior to hitting that online button. While bathing, I suggest exfoliating your facial pores so as not have other cars headlights gleaming off your oily skin.
> Moisturize: "but Frank how do I maintain soft supple skin after exfoliating with with my Aveda face wash?" I suggest buying a high quality moisturizer similar to oil of olay's regeneriste and using that along with a moisturizer that includes at least a 15spf sunblock. UV rays are an ants worst enemy when it comes to maintaining a youthful glow.
> ...


You are a funny dude. I don't care what others say. I assume you forego the use of mouthwash since you didn't mention it in your instructions. Perhaps the exorbitant expense precludes your usage.


----------



## dctcmn (Sep 21, 2017)

ftupelo said:


> _* Our pax should never be more dapper than us operators. *_


So I need to dress in a tuxedo just in case I pick up someone from a wedding?


----------



## June132017 (Jun 13, 2017)

I got some pretty nice colognes from JC Penny website. I never got a complaint.


----------



## Cklw (Mar 18, 2017)

Axe body spray, and I spilled some tide clean breeze detergent under the driver seat a few weeks ago, still smells clean breeze fresh


----------



## ftupelo (Mar 18, 2018)

JMlyftuber said:


> I don't even wear shoes. You'll know why once one of your flip-flops gets wrapped around the pedals and suddenly you're accelerating uncontrollably. And Frank, the word you're looking for is chock, not chalk. My hygiene routine: shower, brush teeth, re-do my ponytail. No cologne, no deodorant, if my mustache is getting in my teeth I clip it, but leave my beard growing wild as Sasquatch. Ladies love my rugged manliness and witty banter.





JMlyftuber said:


> I don't even wear shoes. You'll know why once one of your flip-flops gets wrapped around the pedals and suddenly you're accelerating uncontrollably. And Frank, the word you're looking for is chock, not chalk. My hygiene routine: shower, brush teeth, re-do my ponytail. No cologne, no deodorant, if my mustache is getting in my teeth I clip it, but leave my beard growing wild as Sasquatch. Ladies love my rugged manliness and witty banter.


It sounds like a review of high performance driving shoes is in order. I will keep that in mind for future episodes.


----------



## Uber Crack (Jul 19, 2017)

￼￼￼   
What an effin LOL!!!!!!


----------



## Adieu (Feb 21, 2016)

UberX rates??

You pay for freeballin, barefoot, in a bandana, showered sometime this week.... and you GET what you PAID for.


----------



## Just Another Uber Drive (Jul 15, 2015)

ftupelo said:


> On this episode of Frank talk with Frank Tupelo I'd like to discuss proper driver hygiene. Having used Uber services as a rider myself, I know for a fact that many of you ants have hygiene just as bad as our pax. I challenge you to be better. Our pax should never be more dapper than us operators. I would suggest you take some tips from yours truly to help you reach the pinnacle of purveyors of livery services. Below is just a taste of my routine prior to leaving my manor to beginning serving my clients:
> 
> Bathe and exfoliate: it goes without saying that all ants should bathe prior to hitting that online button. While bathing, I suggest exfoliating your facial pores so as not have other cars headlights gleaming off your oily skin.
> Moisturize: "but Frank how do I maintain soft supple skin after exfoliating with with my Aveda face wash?" I suggest buying a high quality moisturizer similar to oil of olay's regeneriste and using that along with a moisturizer that includes at least a 15spf sunblock. UV rays are an ants worst enemy when it comes to maintaining a youthful glow.
> ...


And if I may add:

Pay attention to your hands. Keep your nails clean and trimmed properly. Women do look at such things. If you have dirty nails or gnarly chewed on nails you need to take care of that. Get a bar of Lava and a nail brush and get to scrubbing.


----------



## ARTENNZ1967 (Dec 27, 2017)

That’s hilarious . You expect me to brush my teeth, AND wipe my ass on the same day. One thing at a time buddy.


----------



## Adieu (Feb 21, 2016)

ARTENNZ1967 said:


> That's hilarious . You expect me to brush my teeth, AND wipe my ass on the same day. One thing at a time buddy.


And this from a company that pretty much requires sobriety and straight-up demands virtuous abstitent monk-like interactions..... LOOOOL


----------



## MadTownUberD (Mar 11, 2017)

Just Another Uber Drive said:


> And if I may add:
> 
> Pay attention to your hands. Keep your nails clean and trimmed properly. Women do look at such things. If you have dirty nails or gnarly chewed on nails you need to take care of that. Get a bar of Lava and a nail brush and get to scrubbing.


Not necessary. Wear driving gloves.


----------



## ftupelo (Mar 18, 2018)

MadTownUberD said:


> Not necessary. Wear driving gloves.


 I agree, I will also be doing an episode on some of the best driving gloves the market has to offer. We must not skimp when it comes to procuring the best equipment for the job. Our riders deserve only the best and for us to have the equipment necessary to harness our horseless carriages.


----------



## MadTownUberD (Mar 11, 2017)

ftupelo said:


> I agree, I will also be doing an episode on some of the best driving gloves the market has to offer. We must not skimp when it comes to procuring the best equipment for the job. Our riders deserve only the best and for us to have the equipment necessary to harness our horseless carriages.


I was being serious. I like driving gloves. They feel nice and they grip the steering wheel better than bare hands, so when people ask I tell them "they're for your safety".

My gloves have the little ///M logo in my avatar.


----------



## Notch Johnson (Dec 17, 2016)

I saw an uber driver yesterday in a dress shirt and tie, laughed my ass off. I have a shorter list:
1. Clean clothes
2. No odor


----------



## MadTownUberD (Mar 11, 2017)

Notch Johnson said:


> I saw an uber driver yesterday in a dress shirt and tie, laughed my ass off. I have a shorter list:
> 1. Clean clothes
> 2. No odor


I've driven Uber in a dress shirt and tie plenty of times. Usually because I was going to or from church.

Full timers sure, they really don't need anything but undies.


----------



## Ubersinger (Dec 15, 2017)

MadTownUberD said:


> I've driven Uber in a dress shirt and tie plenty of times. Usually because I was going to or from church.
> 
> Full timers sure, they really don't need anything but undies.


This. Plus, I drive after my full time job.


----------



## MadTownUberD (Mar 11, 2017)

I'd even go so far as to say that a person who is able to dress respectably is by definition not driving Uber full time because he or she should be able to get a full time job in an office etc. But I risk pissing people off again.


----------



## ftupelo (Mar 18, 2018)

Ubersinger said:


> This. Plus, I drive after my full time job.


Do you notice any difference in tips depending on how nattily you are dressed?


----------



## Ubersinger (Dec 15, 2017)

ftupelo said:


> Do you notice any difference in tips depending on how nattily you are dressed?


Nope. Not really. I get comments sometimes. That's it. And badges! Whoo!


----------



## Cdub2k (Nov 22, 2017)

ftupelo said:


> On this episode of Frank talk with Frank Tupelo I'd like to discuss proper driver hygiene. Having used Uber services as a rider myself, I know for a fact that many of you ants have hygiene just as bad as our pax. I challenge you to be better. Our pax should never be more dapper than us operators. I would suggest you take some tips from yours truly to help you reach the pinnacle of purveyors of livery services. Below is just a taste of my routine prior to leaving my manor to beginning serving my clients:
> 
> Bathe and exfoliate: it goes without saying that all ants should bathe prior to hitting that online button. While bathing, I suggest exfoliating your facial pores so as not have other cars headlights gleaming off your oily skin.
> Moisturize: "but Frank how do I maintain soft supple skin after exfoliating with with my Aveda face wash?" I suggest buying a high quality moisturizer similar to oil of olay's regeneriste and using that along with a moisturizer that includes at least a 15spf sunblock. UV rays are an ants worst enemy when it comes to maintaining a youthful glow.
> ...


 that seems to be a lot for 72 cents a mile and 12 cents minute with no tip 9/10 times. Should I wear my tuxedo and bow tie too?


----------



## Soulless_senpai (Mar 10, 2018)

morning routine ...


----------



## ftupelo (Mar 18, 2018)

Soulless_senpai said:


> morning routine ...
> View attachment 225236


I believe this is more or less a good morning routine to aspire to. I would also suggest that the ants stay in peak physical condition as well as maintaining a proper hygiene regimen. However, most on here seem to think not looking like a slob is already too much to ask, so I wasn't going to push my luck by recommending maintaining, at most, a low-double-digit body fat percentage.


----------



## CYP (May 2, 2017)

Though I take this as a completely sarcastic post, thumbs up on the crew pomade and oral-b toothbrush


----------



## ftupelo (Mar 18, 2018)

CYP said:


> Though I take this as a completely sarcastic post, thumbs up on the crew pomade and oral-b toothbrush


Not sarcastic at all. My goal is to elevate this profession to the status we all know it should have. I want us all to be able to garner the respect we deserve from friends and family. I want my mom to be able to proudly proclaim at her bunco parties that her baby is a proud Uber driver and make the rest of the women jealous with envy.


----------



## MadTownUberD (Mar 11, 2017)

Bunco rofl!!!!!


----------



## Dammit Mazzacane (Dec 31, 2015)

Surely you're kidding with this condescending post?


----------



## JMlyftuber (Feb 24, 2018)

ftupelo said:


> It sounds like a review of high performance driving shoes is in order. I will keep that in mind for future episodes.


They make driving shoes now? How do they see over the dashboard? Or do they just work the pedals while a human steers? At any rate they probably do better than Uber's driving cars.



ftupelo said:


> I believe this is more or less a good morning routine to aspire to. I would also suggest that the ants stay in peak physical condition as well as maintaining a proper hygiene regimen. However, most on here seem to think not looking like a slob is already too much to ask, so I wasn't going to push my luck by recommending maintaining, at most, a low-double-digit body fat percentage.


Low meaning less than 50%? My body closely resembles Fat B-tard's. I'm going to try driving shirtless one day and see what happens! You've inspired me Frank!


----------



## ftupelo (Mar 18, 2018)

You can now access my Frank Talk Episode on driving shoes, as promised.

https://uberpeople.net/threads/proper-driver-equipment.259745/


----------



## Fuzzyelvis (Dec 7, 2014)

ARTENNZ1967 said:


> That's hilarious . You expect me to brush my teeth, AND wipe my ass on the same day. One thing at a time buddy.


But if you do both, brush first.


----------



## ftupelo (Mar 18, 2018)

It should never be an if you do both. It’s a must do both multiple times a day.


----------



## Another Uber Driver (May 27, 2015)

ftupelo said:


> On this episode of Frank talk with Frank Tupelo I'd like to discuss proper driver hygiene.
> 
> Bathe and exfoliate:
> Moisturize: "but Frank how do I maintain soft supple skin after exfoliating with with my Aveda face wash?" I suggest buying a high quality moisturizer similar to oil of olay's regeneriste and using that along with a moisturizer that includes at least a 15spf sunblock.
> ...


1.and 2.-Ivory soap does the job just fine, ANNNNNNNND, it is 99 44/100% Pure and IT FLOATS! Do not buy the CVS or some other trailer park brand. Buy the real thing!

3. Greasy kid's stuff is bad news. Do, however, wash your hair with a decent brand of shampoo and not the CVS brand.

4. How about Hai Karate? In reality, there are some people who wear certain scents well. One of my favourites on women are two obscure Nina Ricci brands: *deci, dela* and *Nina*. There are, however, some women who do not wear either of those well. Some of the Burberrys are similar. There are, also, some who do wear drug store scents well. You may disparage *Old Spice* all that you will, but I, for one, wear that one well. I do, however, prefer *Royall Lime*.

5. According to my dentist, sixty-five per-cent of Americans do not brush their teeth even once daily. My dentist told me that any toothbrush and Pepsodent will do just fine. She also reminded me, and, you should remind your audience, to FLOSS daily! My dentist has informed me that while unwaxed is optimal, waxed IS better than not doing it at all.

6. Decidedly do that. TP is not all that expensive.......and do not forget to wash your hands afterward.

7. They call it "Needless Markup" for a reason. You can get the same thing at Jean-Claude Penée for much less.



June132017 said:


> I got some pretty nice colognes from JC Penny website.


What you buy from Jean-Claude Penée is the same thing that you buy from Needless Markup. The only difference is the price. Purchasing a Toyota or a Lexus is not that much different. The latter is nothing but the former. The only difference is that the latter has a fancy price tag.


----------



## ftupelo (Mar 18, 2018)

Thank you for the comment. How would you rate my grammar in this post?


----------



## wk1102 (Dec 25, 2015)

Fuzzyelvis said:


> But if you do both, brush first.


Haha.. first the sock it your shorts now this...

Oh geez...

Thanks you have no idea how badly I needed a laugh right now!


----------



## Another Uber Driver (May 27, 2015)

ftupelo said:


> Our pax should never be more dapper than us *we* operators.
> 
> I would suggest *that* you take some tips from yours truly to help you reach the pinnacle of purveyors of livery services.
> 
> ...


Please note corrections, Reasons are available upon request and at my convenience.


----------



## Rakos (Sep 2, 2014)

They must love...

Bringing their new bots online...

And using them to educate us...8>O

This monkey can outsmart them...

Any day of the week...

Note the OPs use of the word ants...

We may flippantly refer to drivers as ants...butt...

We would never address drivers...

As ants...come on bot...

Get it together...

You're seriously getting boring...8>)

Next...!?

Rakos


----------



## ftupelo (Mar 18, 2018)

I have no idea what any of these ape posts actually say. I get it's your schtick and you think it's clever or cute or whatever. However, they are unintelligible and therefore add no value as a means of commuicating. What's the point with wasting everyone's time with them?


----------



## Rakos (Sep 2, 2014)

ftupelo said:


> I have no idea what any of these ape posts actually say. I get it's your schtick and you think it's clever or cute or whatever. However, they are unintelligible and therefore add no value as a means of commuicating. What's the point with wasting everyone's time with them?


One word...BOT...

(mic drop)

Rakos


----------



## ÜberKraut (Jan 12, 2018)

Rakos said:


> One word...BOT...
> 
> (mic drop)
> 
> ...


YES!!!! Essential.


----------



## ftupelo (Mar 18, 2018)

Does the anti-monkey butt work similar to medicated gold bond? What type of application do you use it for?


----------



## ÜberKraut (Jan 12, 2018)

ftupelo said:


> Does the anti-monkey butt work similar to medicated gold bond? What type of application do you use it for?


_High Performance Body Powder with Calamine_
_Fights Friction + Absorbs Sweat_
_Formulated For Those Who Work Hard & Play Hard_

At least according to their Web Site.

You might also want to invest in some of these?


----------



## Rakos (Sep 2, 2014)

ftupelo said:


> Does the anti-monkey butt work similar to medicated gold bond? What type of application do you use it for?


When you use monkey butt...

Your butt stays nice and dry...

Butt...being a BOT...

means you NEVER get monkey butt...

Butt...you wouldn't know this...8>O

I'll bet he's a lonely BOT...8>)

Rakos


----------



## ftupelo (Mar 18, 2018)

In re Dude Wipes, please see suggestion number six. For those who refuse to install a bidet I suggested at a minimum buying personal wipes such as these. Please do not think that these wipes are a suitable or sufficient replacement for a nice thorough bidet douching.


----------



## ÜberKraut (Jan 12, 2018)

ftupelo said:


> In re Dude Wipes, please see suggestion number six. For those who refuse to install a bidet I suggested at a minimum buying personal wipes such as these. Please do not think that these wipes are a suitable or sufficient replacement for a nice thorough bidet douching.


I did NOT BATH today...
Drove in Mule Slip-ons...
Used NO driving gloves AND
Only used ONE Dude Wipe.
Yet I present my numbers:










If I recall correctly, my % of trips tipping (81.82%/9 of 11) and Dollar Tip Percentage of Earnings (34.23%) both exceed your personal projections.
Do you think I could improve these numbers through better hygiene?


----------



## ftupelo (Mar 18, 2018)

ÜberKraut said:


> I did NOT BATH today...
> Drove in Mule Slip-ons...
> Used NO driving gloves AND
> Only used ONE Dude Wipe.
> ...


I doubt that you increase those numbers through simple hygiene changes. However, we are having a fascinating discussion on another of my threads regarding how really good looks affect tips. I would suggest you pop over their and check out the lively debate. I have posted some scholarly journal work as well to support my theory. If you do believe improving you looks could help, I just recently posted some ideas of ways to beautify.


----------



## Rakos (Sep 2, 2014)

BOT...BOT...BOT...BOT...BOT...BOT...8>)

Rakos


----------



## ftupelo (Mar 18, 2018)

It's cool knowing that whenever you post, your secret admirer will show up right after wards. However it is a little childish to still play the game where you pretend you don't like someone by calling then silly names to get their attention because you actually do really like them.


----------



## New2This (Dec 27, 2015)

ftupelo said:


> Do you notice any difference in tips depending on how nattily you are dressed?


I generally drive in sweat pants and a t-shirt, sometimes just from a workout. I'll give myself a Febreze spraydown and app on.

Tips are just fine thankyouverymuch...


----------



## merryon2nd (Aug 31, 2016)

I think you need to change the title to proper RIDER hygiene. You accidently added a D onto that. I'm always WAY better in the hygiene department tha 3/4 of my riders.
Also, this isn't a profession. This is a gig economy job, which is how it pays. Limo Drivers have a career. Cab Drivers have a career. Truck Drivers have a career. We merely transport people, mostly under-insured and mostly under-licensed, from point A to point B for what usually amounts to barely enough to buy this week's beer for some people. STOP referring to it as a career. Its tiring. You bloody troll of a shill.


----------



## Koolbreze (Feb 13, 2017)

ftupelo said:


> On this episode of Frank talk with Frank Tupelo I'd like to discuss proper driver hygiene. Having used Uber services as a rider myself, I know for a fact that many of you ants have hygiene just as bad as our pax. I challenge you to be better. Our pax should never be more dapper than us operators. I would suggest you take some tips from yours truly to help you reach the pinnacle of purveyors of livery services. Below is just a taste of my routine prior to leaving my manor to beginning serving my clients:
> 
> Bathe and exfoliate: it goes without saying that all ants should bathe prior to hitting that online button. While bathing, I suggest exfoliating your facial pores so as not have other cars headlights gleaming off your oily skin.
> Moisturize: "but Frank how do I maintain soft supple skin after exfoliating with with my Aveda face wash?" I suggest buying a high quality moisturizer similar to oil of olay's regeneriste and using that along with a moisturizer that includes at least a 15spf sunblock. UV rays are an ants worst enemy when it comes to maintaining a youthful glow.
> ...


The womanly thing to do every morning.


----------



## ftupelo (Mar 18, 2018)

merryon2nd said:


> I think you need to change the title to proper RIDER hygiene. You accidently added a D onto that. I'm always WAY better in the hygiene department tha 3/4 of my riders.
> Also, this isn't a profession. This is a gig economy job, which is how it pays. Limo Drivers have a career. Cab Drivers have a career. Truck Drivers have a career. We merely transport people, mostly under-insured and mostly under-licensed, from point A to point B for what usually amounts to barely enough to buy this week's beer for some people. STOP referring to it as a career. Its tiring. You bloody troll of a shill.


Thank you for your opinion. I understand we would all like a rate increase from UBER. However, just because we don't agree with the current compensation structure, doesn't mean we cannot give 100% to the profession/job/whatever your preferred term for the activity we have dedicated our lives to. Because some ants are under-insured or under-licensed doesn't mean we need to stoop to the lowest common denominator. I don't understand why everyone perpetuates this fallacy that the behaviors I promote are somehow difficult and not worth the effort. Whether you plan on driving UBER that day or doing anything else really, these are basic hygiene and appearance items that should be incorporated into normal everyday practice regardless.


----------



## merryon2nd (Aug 31, 2016)

ftupelo said:


> Whether you plan on driving UBER that day or doing anything else really, these are basic hygiene and appearance items that should be incorporated into normal everyday practice regardless.


There are two terms for this. Survivability and Common Sense. If people lack these two things, and lack the sensibility to realize that they need to maintain a basic level of hygiene to stay healthy enough to survive long term, then all of the long posts in the world won't save them. Its the people that lack the skills necessary to understand that they need to do certain things to survive, that won't read long-winded posts anyway. Thus, the point of such things is lost


----------



## Rakos (Sep 2, 2014)

ftupelo said:


> Thank you for your opinion. I understand we would all like a rate increase from UBER. However, just because we don't agree with the current compensation structure, doesn't mean we cannot give 100% to the profession/job/whatever your preferred term for the activity we have dedicated our lives to. Because some ants are under-insured or under-licensed doesn't mean we need to stoop to the lowest common denominator. I don't understand why everyone perpetuates this fallacy that the behaviors I promote are somehow difficult and not worth the effort. Whether you plan on driving UBER that day or doing anything else really, these are basic hygiene and appearance items that should be incorporated into normal everyday practice regardless.


You know for a BOT...

You are pretty dumb...8>O

You think digesting words...

And then spitting out your drivel...

Will somehow add value to your posts...

That is an inane and preposterous idea...

That only a BOT would think is good...8>O

Even a monkey is smarter than that...8>)

Go back to BOT school...

And work on your empathy program...

You obviously don't give a damn...

And think you are welcome...

YOU ARE NOT WELCOME...

GO AWAY...!

Rakos








PS. If the monkey is wrong...Prove it...!!!


----------



## ftupelo (Mar 18, 2018)

merryon2nd said:


> There are two terms for this. Survivability and Common Sense. If people lack these two things, and lack the sensibility to realize that they need to maintain a basic level of hygiene to stay healthy enough to survive long term, then all of the long posts in the world won't save them. Its the people that lack the skills necessary to understand that they need to do certain things to survive, that won't read long-winded posts anyway. Thus, the point of such things is lost


This all may be true and my efforts here may be all for naught, however, I will not give up on my fellow ants so easily. Time will tell if my work here leads to the desired outcomes. Some have already praised me for my efforts. As I said, if I can positively impact just one ant's life, it will all be worth it.


----------



## atlas23 (Mar 16, 2018)

How bout you op and cheap riders kiss my ass first, see if it smells. Can’t afford toilet paper


----------



## ftupelo (Mar 18, 2018)

atlas23 said:


> How bout you op and cheap riders kiss my ass first, see if it smells. Can't afford toilet paper


We should take a poll. How many folks prefer a post like this to mine?


----------



## FormerTaxiDriver♧ (Apr 5, 2018)

ftupelo said:


> I agree, I will also be doing an episode on some of the best driving gloves the market has to offer. We must not skimp when it comes to procuring the best equipment for the job. Our riders deserve only the best and for us to have the equipment necessary to harness our horseless carriages.


You are insane if you really mean this. I hope your not speaking to UberX drivers


----------



## ftupelo (Mar 18, 2018)

FormerTaxiDriver♧ said:


> You are insane if you really mean this. I hope your not speaking to UberX drivers


Looks like we've found someone who thinks rider safety is some sort of joking matter. Do you know how many motor vehicular accidents happens on the streets of the US every day? I don't either but I could google it up and the google machine would tell me it's a lot. Do you want to be a statistic boy?


----------



## FormerTaxiDriver♧ (Apr 5, 2018)

atlas23 said:


> How bout you op and cheap riders kiss my ass first, see if it smells. Can't afford toilet paper


You can pull off your socks and clean up with them.


----------



## merryon2nd (Aug 31, 2016)

FormerTaxiDriver♧ said:


> You can pull off your socks and clean up with them.


But then his feet would get BO instead, because they would be barefoot in his shoes. That's GROSS man!


----------



## ftupelo (Mar 18, 2018)

FormerTaxiDriver♧ said:


> You can pull off your socks and clean up with them.


This should be an episode in itself. Some drivers wear no socks, yuck. Some drivers where socks sticking out of their shoes while wearing shorts, gross. Some probably wear black bro socks, horrendous. Is it that hard to pick the right sock for the occasion?


----------



## FormerTaxiDriver♧ (Apr 5, 2018)

merryon2nd said:


> But then his feet would get BO instead, because they would be barefoot in his shoes. That's GROSS man!


Then I suggest carrying a handkercheif, or some other form of shitrag


----------



## merryon2nd (Aug 31, 2016)

ftupelo said:


> This should be an episode in itself. Some drivers wear no socks, yuck. Some drivers where socks sticking out of their shoes while wearing shorts, gross. Some probably wear black bro socks, horrendous. Is it that hard to pick the right sock for the occasion?


It is if you're too busy driving for minimum wage to do laundry!


----------



## emdeplam (Jan 13, 2017)

ftupelo said:


> We should take a poll. How many folks prefer a post like this to mine?


Facial hair??? Hipster beards? etc... what are the rules a/o grooming standards


----------



## ftupelo (Mar 18, 2018)

merryon2nd said:


> It is if you're too busy driving for minimum wage to do laundry!


What's laundry have to do with it. It's more about understanding how to dress natty.


----------



## merryon2nd (Aug 31, 2016)

FormerTaxiDriver♧ said:


> Then I suggest carrying a handkercheif.


But then he would have to dump the crappy hankie. Or have it smell up his car. Also way gross. And hankies cost money. Which most drivers can't afford on their minimum wages.



ftupelo said:


> What's laundry have to do with it. It's more about understanding how to dress natty.


Eh, most times people are lucky some of these driver bother to get dressed at all before picking them up. lmao Much less dress nicely, or cleanly.


----------



## FormerTaxiDriver♧ (Apr 5, 2018)

emdeplam said:


> Facial hair??? Hipster beards? etc... what are the rules a/o grooming standards


CEO Dara sets the dress code. Watch his vids!


----------



## ftupelo (Mar 18, 2018)

emdeplam said:


> Facial hair??? Hipster beards? etc... what are the rules a/o grooming standards


Again, likely deserves it's own episode. Usually they are worn by unkempt men in general and it just adds to the overall sloppiness. These aren't hard and fast rules, but the problem with these ants is that they make mistakes that just compound on each other. A bunch of little mistakes makes the mess of man.


----------



## merryon2nd (Aug 31, 2016)

Dara's more of a d*ck then what he probably has attached. Grain of salt on that one.


----------



## ftupelo (Mar 18, 2018)

Eh, most times people are lucky some of these driver bother to get dressed at all before picking them up. lmao Much less dress nicely, or cleanly.[/QUOTE]
Oh you don't have to tell me. That is what I am here for. I'm like a crusader on a mission to get all ants to step their games up.


----------



## merryon2nd (Aug 31, 2016)

LMAO, Frank. I'm starting to like you. You amuse me


----------



## ftupelo (Mar 18, 2018)

merryon2nd said:


> LMAO, Frank. I'm starting to like you. You amuse me


Don't worry you aren't the only one. I've had a nice contingent of fans since I first started posting here - the rest are just pretending not to like me.



merryon2nd said:


> LMAO, Frank. I'm starting to like you. You amuse me


Merry, I would appreciate if you showed some respect for our fearless leader. It's amazing the mess he walked into when no one else would take the job. When the board came calling, he has answered in spades. If it weren't for Dara none of us might have jobs any longer. Their is no way you'd get up every morning and try to steer this titanic - but Dara selflessly does it because I assume he thinks constantly about all of us ants and what little we'd have if he had to fold up tent.


----------



## merryon2nd (Aug 31, 2016)

I'll think about it doll. I'll think about it. HE needs to do something to amuse me first though. Like, do better. That would be an awesome start.


----------



## ftupelo (Mar 18, 2018)

merryon2nd said:


> I'll think about it doll. I'll think about it. HE needs to do something to amuse me first though. Like, do better. That would be an awesome start.


He gets up every day to do a thankless job that nobody wants and he does it all just for us. I'm sure he'd gladly switch places with us any day of the week. You simply cannot ask more of the man. He deserves CEO of the decade honors.


----------



## merryon2nd (Aug 31, 2016)

ftupelo said:


> He gets up every day to do a thankless job


Isn't it ironic that so do we? In fact, I think we're thanked WAY less than Mr. CEO. At least no one's trying to deactivate him for trying to do his job. lol


----------



## ftupelo (Mar 18, 2018)

merryon2nd said:


> Isn't it ironic that so do we? In fact, I think we're thanked WAY less than Mr. CEO. At least no one's trying to deactivate him for trying to do his job. lol


I don't know about that. My pax thank me nearly every ride. That may be the result of my looks, of course, but it may also be how well I service them the whole ride. Point being, I get thanked all the time while performing my duties and I just kinda doubt Dara does.

I relayed this story in another thread but my neighbor is a former Fortune 500 CEO (his house is nicer than mine) and he let me in on a little secret that Dara even had to miss their annual old boys trip to Aspen this year - talk about total bummer. That's complete dedication.


----------



## merryon2nd (Aug 31, 2016)

LMAO... I've no words.


----------



## ftupelo (Mar 18, 2018)

merryon2nd said:


> LMAO... I've no words.


He is a great guy and if he says Dara's great then who are we to judge? My neighbor does have a nicer house, but I went to better schools, so you win some you lose some.


----------



## merryon2nd (Aug 31, 2016)

Eh, to each their own. I save praise till something works out in the positive or negative for me. So far, I've yet to see anything but a new app that I still don't have access to in the Philly market.


----------



## ftupelo (Mar 18, 2018)

merryon2nd said:


> Eh, to each their own. I save praise till something works out in the positive or negative for me. So far, I've yet to see anything but a new app that I still don't have access to in the Philly market.


Managing their enormous board is like a job in itself. There are many power brokers around the company and he has the manage the relationships.

His job is to get us to profitability as a first step on the path to IPO. He seems to be cutting business units with higher burn to focus on core profitability. They have more data than anyone in the world on supply and demand and how elastic the demand is to price increases. This fact alone gives me hope that they know exactly how to balance supply and demand and have fine tuned their product. We all want to earn more, but the right way to do that is not necessarily through demand killing price increases.


----------



## merryon2nd (Aug 31, 2016)

We'll see. I don't really HATE him per say. Maybe he'll manage to do some good. I know it'll be interesting to watch and see what happens


----------



## Rakos (Sep 2, 2014)

ftupelo said:


> Managing their enormous board is like a job in itself. There are many power brokers around the company and he has the manage the relationships.
> 
> His job is to get us to profitability as a first step on the path to IPO. He seems to be cutting business units with higher burn to focus on core profitability. They have more data than anyone in the world on supply and demand and how elastic the demand is to price increases. This fact alone gives me hope that they know exactly how to balance supply and demand and have fine tuned their product. We all want to earn more, but the right way to do that is not necessarily through demand killing price increases.


You know...for a BOT...

You SURE tow the company line...8>O

Rakos


----------



## ftupelo (Mar 18, 2018)

Rakos said:


> You know...for a BOT...
> 
> You SURE tow the company line...8>O
> 
> ...


I apologize for trying to understand their business model and for realizing that syncing supply and demand is the best way for all to reap the most rewards. I'm sure folks like yourself do not have the long-term perspective to understand this and would rather increase fares in the short term and drive away demand in the out years. We are still a fairly nascent industry and in price discovery mode. Believe it or not, our interests are aligned with UBER's, if they could charge more for a ride without losing more than they gain due to attrition, they would. They get a percentage of each ride, why would they not want the same percentage of a larger pie? They do, but they want to optimize the number of pies as well. Why would you rather be paid twice as much for a ride if you only received 15% of the pings?


----------



## ftupelo (Mar 18, 2018)

Rakos said:


> You know...for a BOT...
> 
> You SURE tow the company line...8>O
> 
> ...


I've already asked you what I can do to prove that I am not a bot and of course you didn't answer. If that helps me gain your acceptance, I will do whatever it takes.


----------



## ftupelo (Mar 18, 2018)

@CowboyNation214 this episode is a good start. I am an internationally recognized investment professional at white-shoe investment firm (high finance, not remotely close to the Edward Jones' of the world) and am therefore more than qualified to opine on such matters.


----------

