# ISIS cuts its fighters' salaries by 50%



## ShiftySheik (May 21, 2015)

ISIS cuts its fighters' salaries by 50%
http://money.cnn.com/2016/01/19/news/world/isis-salary-cuts/index.html


----------



## TwoFiddyMile (Mar 13, 2015)

Does ISIS have surge zones?


----------



## UberXTampa (Nov 20, 2014)

Does TK run ISIS too? I will not be surprised.


----------



## SECOTIME (Sep 18, 2015)

So the white house releases footage of bombs hitting cash stockpiles then isis drops salaries.. 

Lol salary


----------



## ABC123DEF (Jun 9, 2015)

I don't think we can exactly call what Big Fuber pays us a salary...salad maybe...celery possibly...but not salary.


----------



## TwoFiddyMile (Mar 13, 2015)

Uber could destroy ISIS, just like they steamroll every other government.


----------



## SibeRescueBrian (May 10, 2015)

TwoFiddyMile said:


> Uber could destroy ISIS, just like they steamroll every other government.


It would be pretty easy, too. All they'd have to do is onboard ISIS members as drivers, then lock them into a Santander-type leasing arrangement. Within weeks, they wouldn't have time to be terrorists because they'd have to drive 23 hours a day to keep up with the payments. Problem solved. Nobel prize please.


----------



## ABC123DEF (Jun 9, 2015)

Fuber is a big waste of your life and is valuable time that could be spent doing ANYTHING else...now that you mention it.


----------



## zandor (Mar 6, 2015)

SibeRescueBrian said:


> It would be pretty easy, too. All they'd have to do is onboard ISIS members as drivers, then lock them into a Santander-type leasing arrangement. Within weeks, they wouldn't have time to be terrorists because they'd have to drive 23 hours a day to keep up with the payments. Problem solved. Nobel prize please.


Uber would have to change the rules so they could use Toyota Hilux pickups though. They don't have enough Land Cruisers to go around. Would it be ok for pax to ride in the bed? I'm thinking that's probably allowed in ISIS territory. Then the next question is do they have to take the machine gun off the pickup while they're working?


----------



## SibeRescueBrian (May 10, 2015)

zandor said:


> Uber would have to change the rules so they could use Toyota Hilux pickups though. They don't have enough Land Cruisers to go around. Would it be ok for pax to ride in the bed? I'm thinking that's probably allowed in ISIS territory. Then the next question is do they have to take the machine gun off the pickup while they're working?


And if they detonate the suicide vest after 5 minutes, will they still get the cancellation fee?


----------



## D Town (Apr 8, 2015)

Umm...Good...? Is this rideshare news? Is Uber going to start advertising in ISIS controlled areas for drivers who want to make up the income loss?


----------



## nickd8775 (Jul 12, 2015)

The pay cut might turn some people against Isis. I'm sure there are quite a few informants working with the US government.


----------



## D Town (Apr 8, 2015)

nickd8775 said:


> The pay cut might turn some people against Isis. I'm sure there are quite a few informants working with the US government.


Not likely. Even with a pay cut in a lot of the areas they control they make sure to shut down ANY business that doesn't cater to them so there is little other way to make money. Half of some money is still better than none. That's actually how Uber operates and keeps drivers driving at these rates.


----------



## rosskelly (Jan 22, 2016)

nickd8775 said:


> The pay cut might turn some people against Isis. I'm sure there are quite a few informants working with the US government.


I hope you are right!


----------



## UberXTampa (Nov 20, 2014)

ShiftySheik said:


> ISIS cuts its fighters' salaries by 50%
> http://money.cnn.com/2016/01/19/news/world/isis-salary-cuts/index.html
> View attachment 24655


36 virgins!

Still very good!


----------



## D Town (Apr 8, 2015)

UberXTampa said:


> 36 virgins!
> 
> Still very good!


----------



## X ryder (Jan 11, 2016)

zandor said:


> Uber would have to change the rules so they could use Toyota Hilux pickups though. They don't have enough Land Cruisers to go around. Would it be ok for pax to ride in the bed? I'm thinking that's probably allowed in ISIS territory. Then the next question is do they have to take the machine gun off the pickup while they're working?


Well, because the headquarters cut the wages of the ISIS fighters by 50% - the fighters put a ban on beheading .........


----------



## TwoFiddyMile (Mar 13, 2015)

ISIS freedom fighters are an underclass, Uber should announce a program to put them to work any second.


----------



## SibeRescueBrian (May 10, 2015)

I wonder if they charge an SEF (Safe Explosives Fee)


----------



## BurgerTiime (Jun 22, 2015)

Times are tough. Next step lower is becoming an Uber driver. Might as well hang yourself.


----------



## OrlUberOffDriver (Oct 27, 2014)

Great post! Now you have the NSA reading this forum AND, ISIL gonna come on here to recruit, they may even pay more even at the 50% wage cut. 
Where are the Mods on this nonsense.


----------



## SibeRescueBrian (May 10, 2015)

OrlUberOffDriver said:


> Great post! Now you have the NSA reading this forum AND, ISIL gonna come on here to recruit, they may even pay more even at the 50% wage cut.
> Where are the Mods on this nonsense.


They may pay more initially, but once they oversaturate the market, they'll be cut and you'll be told that lower rates will increase your income.


----------



## twinwillow (Oct 9, 2015)

SibeRescueBrian said:


> And if they detonate the suicide vest after 5 minutes, will they still get the cancellation fee?


LMFAO!!!!!!!!


----------



## SECOTIME (Sep 18, 2015)

BurgerTiime said:


> Times are tough. Next step lower is becoming an Uber driver. Might as well hang yourself.


Step below an Uber driver is a residential newspaper deliverer , step above is pizza delivery

So yea, somewhere between rolled up bags of paper and discs of bread topped with cheese


----------



## Uber-Doober (Dec 16, 2014)

Everybody is forgetting that Uber doesn't allow firearms in the vehicle.


----------



## D Town (Apr 8, 2015)

Uber-Doober said:


> Everybody is forgetting that Uber doesn't allow firearms in the vehicle.


Regional rules differ.


----------



## wethepeople (Oct 10, 2015)

hahaha.. the uber App in Syria shows that suicide bombers are surging at x1.8
I clicked notify me when surge ends..

I contacted Uber support:

Hello dear Uber Support Team,
I need a fare estimate from my secret suicide bomber hideout to the U.S. embassy in Bagdad.
I also like to ask if it's possible to rate my driver before we start the trip because after the trip I might be not able to give any ratings no more.

Also, I heard UberPool is currently not available at Bagdat International Airport?
Can I still request a regular Uber Xplode directly from the terminal?
also does your App calculate the shortest route to the british embassy ?
Or would you suggest us using Waze? I like it because it shows the infidel Americans checkpoints on our way.

lol.. Yeah that would be funny


----------



## HOUTXRon (Aug 23, 2015)

D Town said:


>


That would be a raw deal!


----------

