# My Car, My Rules



## UberCemetery (Sep 4, 2014)

What are some of the rules you have set with your car and picking up riders? Do you let riders get away with whatever they want?


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## uberlady (Jun 22, 2014)

NO TOUCHING your uber driver! I am an attractive female and you wouldn't believe the shit I have to endure sometimes from drunk men. One kept trying to tickle me. He thought it was so fun. I'm trying to get his hands off of me and not swerve all over the road. Also, men love to turn the conversation sexual. If they're speaking to me, I ask them to please change the subject. I will not even get into the things that I'm asked............ After several months, the number one thing I've learned when dealing with drunks, is you have to be completely stern and serious.


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## uberlady (Jun 22, 2014)

The problem with UberX is how casual it is. Passengers think we are their friend, like we go way back. They forget that we are complete strangers.


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## UberCemetery (Sep 4, 2014)

uberlady said:


> NO TOUCHING your uber driver! I am an attractive female and you wouldn't believe the shit I have to endure sometimes from drunk men. One kept trying to tickle me. He thought it was so fun. I'm trying to get his hands off of me and not swerve all over the road. Also, men love to turn the conversation sexual. If they're speaking to me, I ask them to please change the subject. I will not even get into the things that I'm asked............ After several months, the number one thing I've learned when dealing with drunks, is you have to be completely stern and serious.


The drunks are grabbing you from the back seat?


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## Sydney Uber (Apr 15, 2014)

uberlady said:


> NO TOUCHING your uber driver! I am an attractive female and you wouldn't believe the shit I have to endure sometimes from drunk men. One kept trying to tickle me. He thought it was so fun. I'm trying to get his hands off of me and not swerve all over the road. Also, men love to turn the conversation sexual. If they're speaking to me, I ask them to please change the subject. I will not even get into the things that I'm asked............ After several months, the number one thing I've learned when dealing with drunks, is you have to be completely stern and serious.


They're not Drunk! They're just intoxicated by you!!


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## uberlady (Jun 22, 2014)

UberCemetery said:


> The drunks are grabbing you from the back seat?


Yes, he was the worst. I emailed Uber about him. He continuously asked if he could kiss me and at the end of the ride asked me if I wanted to go have sex. I said no. I stopped the car at one point and told him if I had to, I would call the cops. I've had females put their hand on my leg in a friendly way? I think some just get touchy feely happy with booze in them. I never feel offended by that. Just interesting when you're sober. I should probably start a blog about all the stuff that I encounter. It's quite interesting!


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## duggles (Aug 25, 2014)

uberlady said:


> NO TOUCHING your uber driver! I am an attractive female and you wouldn't believe the shit I have to endure sometimes from drunk men. One kept trying to tickle me. He thought it was so fun. I'm trying to get his hands off of me and not swerve all over the road. Also, men love to turn the conversation sexual. If they're speaking to me, I ask them to please change the subject. I will not even get into the things that I'm asked............ After several months, the number one thing I've learned when dealing with drunks, is you have to be completely stern and serious.


That's absolutely disgusting and people need to be more respectful.

On the other hand, I have no problem if pretty ladies touch me during my ride. In fact, as long as the person is good looking, I'm going to be pretty receptive. My first uber night driving some drunk girl started massaging my arm from the back seat, while sitting next to either her boyfriend, or the guy she was going home with that evening. I said, "oh my, well, hellooooo!" He said, "Don't worry, she's touchy-feely."


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## Emmes (Aug 27, 2014)

I'd be slamming on the brakes and tossing their asses out, but leaving the meter running.


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## duggles (Aug 25, 2014)

uberlady said:


> Yes, he was the worst. I emailed Uber about him. He continuously asked if he could kiss me and at the end of the ride asked me if I wanted to go have sex. I said no. I stopped the car at one point and told him if I had to, I would call the cops. I've had females put their hand on my leg in a friendly way? I think some just get touchy feely happy with booze in them. I never feel offended by that. Just interesting when you're sober. I should probably start a blog about all the stuff that I encounter. It's quite interesting!


I tweet! @DenverUberTales


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## Emmes (Aug 27, 2014)

duggles said:


> That's absolutely disgusting and people need to be more respectful.
> 
> On the other hand, I have no problem if pretty ladies touch me during my ride. In fact, as long as the person is good looking, I'm going to be pretty receptive. My first uber night driving some drunk girl started massaging my arm from the back seat, while sitting next to either her boyfriend, or the guy she was going home with that evening. I said, "oh my, well, hellooooo!" He said, "Don't worry, she's touchy-feely."


Ugh. If that's not wrong, I don't know what is. If you're attractive, you can touch me .. but if you're ugly, I'm offended?


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## Former Yellow Driver (Sep 5, 2014)

1. No eating in my car. If you bring food in the car it goes in the front seat or trunk until we arrive at our destination. You can NOT trust people to hold food in their laps and not eat it....especially those that have been drinking or are high.
2. If you can not enter the vehicle and put on your seat belt by yourself.....you are too drunk to ride in my car. Do not carry a drunk person to my car and think that I'm their ride....I'm not.
3. 1 passenger per seat belt. No exceptions...I'm not interesting in a few bucks more or how the previous driver allowed it.
4. No smoking....period.
5. No insulting the driver.
6. Bad attitudes BEFORE the trip begins.....I cancel the trip immediately.
7. No touching the driver. Friendly or otherwise. 1st time you get a warning. 2nd time I put you out on the street....wherever we happen to be at that moment.
8. No damaging the car intentionally. Writing on the ceiling, trying to break something....I'll call the cops and take pictures.....right then on the side of the road.
9. Passengers do not hang out the windows or scream at people walking down the street.
10. No firearms or visible knives. I see any of those....I'll drive to the nearest police station and end the trip in the parking lot.
11. No physical fighting in the car.
12. Max 10 minute wait for a customer
13. After cancelling NEVER go back....regardless of what the customer tells you. You will almost ALWAYS regret it.
14. Absolutely NO drinking of alcohol in the car or open containers
15. All children must be properly restrained either in car seats or seat belts ...based on their size, weight and legal requirements.


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## UberCemetery (Sep 4, 2014)

Former Yellow Driver said:


> 1. No eating in my car. If you bring food in the car it goes in the front seat or trunk until we arrive at our destination. You can NOT trust people to hold food in their laps and not eat it....especially those that have been drinking or are high.
> 2. If you can not enter the vehicle and put on your seat belt by yourself.....you are too drunk to ride in my car. Do not carry a drunk person to my car and think that I'm their ride....I'm not.
> 3. 1 passenger per seat belt. No exceptions...I'm not interesting in a few bucks more or how the previous driver allowed it.
> 4. No smoking....period.
> ...


Great rules. We Gotta be tough. I really like #6


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## UberRey (Sep 1, 2014)

Man... I have never really thought about it. My rules are so basic they hardly bear repeating.... Don't drink. Don't trash my car... However after one of my last Lyft rides, I am banning personal music. You don't Backstreet Boys me and expect no consequences. Oh, yeah...these were DUDES that were playing Backstreet Boys. Seriously, WTF?!


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## UberCemetery (Sep 4, 2014)

Several years ago I had this reservation, the lady calls about 10:00 pm asks if I was available for a 5:30 am pickup about 20 miles out. I take the order. I get there a few minutes early - No sign of the client I am sitting in her driveway. Then I decide to go to the door to make sure I am at the right place etc. She answers and says I will be out in a minute. After another 20 minutes still no client, I drove away - I am sure she missed her flight. She called about ten minutes later and said she was in the bathroom. I did not turn around and get her.


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## Former Yellow Driver (Sep 5, 2014)

UberCemetery said:


> I drove away - I am sure missed her flight. She called about ten minutes later and said she was in the bathroom.


Excellent! Forgot these on my list.Will add.


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## UberCemetery (Sep 4, 2014)

UberCemetery said:


> Several years ago I had this reservation, the lady calls about 10:00 pm asks if I was available for a 5:30 am pickup about 20 miles out. I take the order. I get there a few minutes early - No sign of the client I am sitting in her driveway. Then I decide to go to the door to make sure I am at the right place etc. She answers and says I will be out in a minute. After another 20 minutes still no client, I drove away - I am sure she missed her flight. She called about ten minutes later and said she was in the bathroom. I did not turn around and get her.


It felt so good to leave her constipated ass there.


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## Emmes (Aug 27, 2014)

Former Yellow Driver said:


> 1. No eating in my car. If you bring food in the car it goes in the front seat or trunk until we arrive at our destination. You can NOT trust people to hold food in their laps and not eat it....especially those that have been drinking or are high.
> 2. If you can not enter the vehicle and put on your seat belt by yourself.....you are too drunk to ride in my car. Do not carry a drunk person to my car and think that I'm their ride....I'm not.
> 3. 1 passenger per seat belt. No exceptions...I'm not interesting in a few bucks more or how the previous driver allowed it.
> 4. No smoking....period.
> ...


These are perfect. I will be copying them to put against the back seat. Great reading material!!


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## Emmes (Aug 27, 2014)

Former Yellow Driver said:


> 1. No eating in my car. If you bring food in the car it goes in the front seat or trunk until we arrive at our destination. You can NOT trust people to hold food in their laps and not eat it....especially those that have been drinking or are high.
> 2. If you can not enter the vehicle and put on your seat belt by yourself.....you are too drunk to ride in my car. Do not carry a drunk person to my car and think that I'm their ride....I'm not.
> 3. 1 passenger per seat belt. No exceptions...I'm not interesting in a few bucks more or how the previous driver allowed it.
> 4. No smoking....period.
> ...


Did I miss the "drinking in the car" or "open containers"????


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## Former Yellow Driver (Sep 5, 2014)

Emmes said:


> Did I miss the "drinking in the car" or "open containers"????


Nope. I should have listed that....must have missed it while I was on a "roll". Will add...Thanks!


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## UberCemetery (Sep 4, 2014)

Former Yellow Driver said:


> 13. After cancelling never go back....regardless of what the customer tells you. You will almost ALWAYS regret it.


Love it


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## duggles (Aug 25, 2014)

Emmes said:


> Ugh. If that's not wrong, I don't know what is. If you're attractive, you can touch me .. but if you're ugly, I'm offended?


I never said I was offended. But if I don't find you attractive, I'm not gonna allow touching. I'm pretty sure that's fairly common.


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## painfreepc (Jul 17, 2014)

Former Yellow Driver said:


> 2. If you can not enter the vehicle and put on your seat belt by yourself.....you are too drunk to ride in my car. Do not carry a drunk person to my car and think that I'm their ride....I'm not.


As an 11 year taxi driver, i am telling you, DO NOT ALLOW THIS, it almost always ends bad.


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## SgtMurphy (Apr 28, 2014)

uberlady said:


> Yes, he was the worst. I emailed Uber about him. He continuously asked if he could kiss me and at the end of the ride asked me if I wanted to go have sex. I said no. I stopped the car at one point and told him if I had to, I would call the cops. I've had females put their hand on my leg in a friendly way? I think some just get touchy feely happy with booze in them. I never feel offended by that. Just interesting when you're sober. I should probably start a blog about all the stuff that I encounter. It's quite interesting!


That's totally ****ed. I had a drunk girl rubbing my shoulders from the back all ready to go, but declined the invite upstairs at her destination. Nothing but trouble in those type of scenarios.
But if a guy touches a girl, shit, OR another guy....well honestly I wish you had a nice little 
.38 Special +Power Airweight Smith & Wesson like "my friend" always carries,
Give them type of a-holes a scare or a whack. 
Hope that doesn't happen again though seriously


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## Former Yellow Driver (Sep 5, 2014)

painfreepc said:


> As an 11 year taxi driver, i am telling you, DO NOT ALLOW THIS, it almost always ends bad.


True....that experience is where I learned the necessity for this "rule".


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## LAuberX (Jun 3, 2014)

I won't pick up people at the beach wearing swim trunks with a towel over their shoulder. 

I have had wet seats twice, puts you out of business until it dries.


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## Former Yellow Driver (Sep 5, 2014)

LAuberX said:


> I won't pick up people at the beach wearing swim trunks with a towel over their shoulder.


I agree. If they are unwilling to take off their wet swim suits and ride naked on their towels....they can just wait for the next ride or until they're dry.


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## cheerose (Aug 29, 2014)

uberlady said:


> I should probably start a blog about all the stuff that I encounter. It's quite interesting!


Theres a cab driver in Vegas who used to have a blog for stories like this. Now he just tweets every now and then.


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## Sydney Uber (Apr 15, 2014)

uberlady said:


> Yes, he was the worst. I emailed Uber about him. He continuously asked if he could kiss me and at the end of the ride asked me if I wanted to go have sex. I said no. I stopped the car at one point and told him if I had to, I would call the cops. I've had females put their hand on my leg in a friendly way? I think some just get touchy feely happy with booze in them. I never feel offended by that. Just interesting when you're sober. I should probably start a blog about all the stuff that I encounter. It's quite interesting!


What an opportunity! There's another thread that's been started for new "Reality Show" themes.

This could be "The best Drunk Feel-ups in Philly".

If the show doesn't take off then I'll handle the video distribution rights - first copy goes to the rider's Missus.!


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## UberCemetery (Sep 4, 2014)

Sydney Uber said:


> The best Drunk Feel-ups in Philly


Between this reality show title and Lyft setting up a table in front of the Uber office, with the cops being called we will have a hit. Sunday night prime time. Bravo channel. Nobody will work need to stay home to watch the show. We will get the driver's not logging in one way or another.


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## TheDude (Aug 20, 2014)

UberCemetery said:


> Between this reality show title and Lyft setting up a table in front of the Uber office, with the cops being called we will have a hit. Sunday night prime time. Bravo channel. Nobody will work need to stay home to watch the show. We will get the driver's not logging in one way or another.


So would this time slot be called "Prime Time" or "The Surge"?


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## Mad Max (Jul 30, 2014)

uberlady said:


> Yes, he was the worst. I emailed Uber about him. He continuously asked if he could kiss me and at the end of the ride asked me if I wanted to go have sex. I said no. I stopped the car at one point and told him if I had to, I would call the cops. I've had females put their hand on my leg in a friendly way? I think some just get touchy feely happy with booze in them. I never feel offended by that. Just interesting when you're sober. I should probably start a blog about all the stuff that I encounter. It's quite interesting!


So you get offended when guys are touching you, but not when women do? That's sexists! (Yes, I am being sarcastic)


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## Emmes (Aug 27, 2014)

duggles said:


> I never said I was offended. But if I don't find you attractive, I'm not gonna allow touching. I'm pretty sure that's fairly common.


So you aren't touched much, I gather. Self-touch doesn't count. lol


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## Sydney Uber (Apr 15, 2014)

Emmes said:


> So you aren't touched much, I gather. Self-touch doesn't count. lol


Indy Freeway Feelies!


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## duggles (Aug 25, 2014)

Emmes said:


> So you aren't touched much, I gather. Self-touch doesn't count. lol


I don't want anybody else.
When I think about you I touch myself.
Ooh I don't want anybody else.


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## uberlady (Jun 22, 2014)

Oh my fellow Uber drivers... I have stories for days! Married, older men (late 30s+) are the worst. Requests for blow jobs, anal talk, young lady coming out to my car wearing only a towel, a guy giving me his keys to his Mercedes clk to drive for the day (off the clock), same guy making it rain money at me.... it's all so insane. This is all within 3 mos. I've been told numerous times to carry a gun. I think people in Philly are just batshit crazy.


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## uberlady (Jun 22, 2014)

When I pick up business people from out of town, I breathe a sigh of relief. They are all so normal. Plus when I see a female's name pop up, another refreshing sight!


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## SgtMurphy (Apr 28, 2014)

uberlady said:


> When I pick up business people from out of town, I breathe a sigh of relief. They are all so normal. Plus when I see a female's name pop up, another refreshing sight!


Oh my god. I didn't even notice you were from Philly. You know what unconventional trick might actually work wonders? Order and wear a hijab, or similar headscarf. How often do rapey-type dudes EVER **** with,
Or even converse with
A female with her hair covered up? 
I'd also act foreign...if that shit doesn't work to at least a great degree nothing will.


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## cybertec69 (Jul 23, 2014)

uberlady said:


> NO TOUCHING your uber driver! I am an attractive female and you wouldn't believe the shit I have to endure sometimes from drunk men. One kept trying to tickle me. He thought it was so fun. I'm trying to get his hands off of me and not swerve all over the road. Also, men love to turn the conversation sexual. If they're speaking to me, I ask them to please change the subject. I will not even get into the things that I'm asked............ After several months, the number one thing I've learned when dealing with drunks, is you have to be completely stern and serious.


How about plastering about 5 pictures of kids on your dashboard, telling them they are all yours, thats should help. Men, shame on them, nothing but one thing on their mind


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## uberlady (Jun 22, 2014)

Some people are lame. 98% of the rides are easy and smooth. They can't all be winners. I do take this job seriously, and I report all harassment. Overall, I really enjoy driving for Uber and love meeting so many new people.


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## Emmes (Aug 27, 2014)

cybertec69 said:


> How about plastering about 5 pictures of kids on your dashboard, telling them they are all yours, thats should help. Men, shame on them, nothing but one thing on their mind


Don't forget to tell them you're pregnant AGAIN and start coming on to THEM .. you need a baby-daddy, after all. lol


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## uberlady (Jun 22, 2014)

Emmes said:


> Don't forget to tell them you're pregnant AGAIN and start coming on to THEM .. you need a baby-daddy, after all. lol


I like how you think!


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## UberCemetery (Sep 4, 2014)

This is a good thread. Or should I say great thread  thanks for all your input everybody.


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## UberCemetery (Sep 4, 2014)

uberlady said:


> Oh my fellow Uber drivers... I have stories for days! Married, older men (late 30s+) are the worst. Requests for blow jobs, anal talk, young lady coming out to my car wearing only a towel, a guy giving me his keys to his Mercedes clk to drive for the day (off the clock), same guy making it rain money at me.... it's all so insane. This is all within 3 mos. I've been told numerous times to carry a gun. I think people in Philly are just batshit crazy.


Hey Uberlady how has the Uber office been when you report these incidents? What do they tell you?


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## UberCemetery (Sep 4, 2014)

ANOTHER SIGN IN YOUR CAR IDEA


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## UberCemetery (Sep 4, 2014)

Any new rules these days forum members?


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## PTUber (Sep 16, 2015)

Destination must be entered if not by the PAX by me. I don't care if it is close or I know exactly how to get there.


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## wk1102 (Dec 25, 2015)

UberRey said:


> Man... I have never really thought about it. My rules are so basic they hardly bear repeating.... Don't drink. Don't trash my car... However after one of my last Lyft rides, I am banning personal music. You don't Backstreet Boys me and expect no consequences. Oh, yeah...these were DUDES that were playing Backstreet Boys. Seriously, WTF?!


I suppose, they want it their way...


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## wk1102 (Dec 25, 2015)

uberlady said:


> I think people in Philly are just batshit crazy.


You live in Philly and are just now starting to figure this out?

I've never lived there and have only been there once when I was 8 years old. I've know this whole life!


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## porcelian doll (Feb 8, 2016)

UberRey said:


> Man... I have never really thought about it. My rules are so basic they hardly bear repeating.... Don't drink. Don't trash my car... However after one of my last Lyft rides, I am banning personal music. You don't Backstreet Boys me and expect no consequences. Oh, yeah...these were DUDES that were playing Backstreet Boys. Seriously, WTF?!


Lol


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## Clifford Chong (May 3, 2015)

Alot of pax have touched me in the 'safe zone'. That I have no problem with. I don't know why so many people have issues with being touched or felt as long as it wasn't inappropriate.

If they want to listen to their radio station, again, I see no problem with it. Tolerating someone elses music shouldn't really reflect how good or bad you'll drive anyways unless you're an idiot.

Eating small things like chips or fruit. As long as you don't leave a mess and you picked up after yourself which is about roughly what 8/10 of pax do, then fine. I hope it was worth it for you but I will deduct a star for leaving even a crumb on the floor.


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## Schwaeky (Feb 26, 2016)

UberRey said:


> Man... I have never really thought about it. My rules are so basic they hardly bear repeating.... Don't drink. Don't trash my car... However after one of my last Lyft rides, I am banning personal music. You don't Backstreet Boys me and expect no consequences. Oh, yeah...these were DUDES that were playing Backstreet Boys. Seriously, WTF?!


Guys that like Backstreet Boys??? My wife likes BSB, Nsync and 98 deg, but a guy liking that crap. omgg barf alert, that's like the gamer cosplay middle aged people who are into My Little Pony, Friendship Is Magic.... BRONY/Pedophile ALERT....


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## Casuale Haberdasher (Dec 7, 2014)

UberCemetery said:


> What are some of the rules you have set with your car and picking up riders? Do you let riders get away with whatever they want?





porcelian doll said:


> Lol


POST#49/porcelian doll: C H O R T L E !


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## Casuale Haberdasher (Dec 7, 2014)

Schwaeky said:


> Guys that like Backstreet Boys??? My wife likes BSB, Nsync and 98 deg, but a guy liking that crap. omgg barf alert, that's like the gamer cosplay middle aged people who are into My Little Pony, Friendship Is Magic.... BRONY/Pedophile ALERT....


POST #:51/Schwaeky: Don't look now,
but isn't
NAMBLA planning its 2016 National
Convention in Bowling Green, with a
Cosplay Event at the Corvette Museum ?

Mentoring Bison: The sky is FALLING!


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## Kerplunkenstein (Sep 3, 2015)

uberlady said:


> NO TOUCHING your uber driver! I am an attractive female and you wouldn't believe the shit I have to endure sometimes from drunk men. One kept trying to tickle me. He thought it was so fun. I'm trying to get his hands off of me and not swerve all over the road. Also, men love to turn the conversation sexual. If they're speaking to me, I ask them to please change the subject. I will not even get into the things that I'm asked............ After several months, the number one thing I've learned when dealing with drunks, is you have to be completely stern and serious.


Attractive eh? Pics or it didnt happen.


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## Schwaeky (Feb 26, 2016)

Touche...


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## glados (May 23, 2015)

uberlady said:


> NO TOUCHING your uber driver! I am an attractive female and you wouldn't believe the shit I have to endure sometimes from drunk men. One kept trying to tickle me. He thought it was so fun. I'm trying to get his hands off of me and not swerve all over the road. Also, men love to turn the conversation sexual. If they're speaking to me, I ask them to please change the subject. I will not even get into the things that I'm asked............ After several months, the number one thing I've learned when dealing with drunks, is you have to be completely stern and serious.


Please do send in reports when riders behave inappropriately or attempt unwanted physical contact. These are noted on a rider's record, and riders do get deactivated for this. I'm sorry for your experiences!


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## bard1290 (Jan 3, 2016)

As Frank Martin says, respect the man's car the man will respect you


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## El Janitor (Feb 22, 2016)

* I'm the Captain of this ship obey my rules or else:
• No smoking
• No vaping
• No drug use
• No drinking in my car
• Don't make demands, I don't take orders from you er, sorry
• Ask nicely and you may be surprised at how fun our time together can be.
• Don't hit on me I am off limits to you.
• I will and can have you removed you from my car if necessary. ( let's not test me on this one)
• Make a threat, or threatening comment, to me a passenger who is with you, ( and or both) and you will be dying to get out of my car when we arrive at your destination


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## 20yearsdriving (Dec 14, 2014)

El Janitor said:


> * I'm the Captain of this ship obey my rules or else:
> • No smoking
> • No vaping
> • No drug use
> ...


Easier yet ........ Let no one in your car voilah!


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## El Janitor (Feb 22, 2016)

20yearsdriving said:


> Easier yet ........ Let no one in your car voilah!


On the last one: How to make a J turn:


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