# A man went down on his wife in my car



## hamzawesome (Aug 4, 2015)

Yes, you read that correctly. About a year ago I picked up a drunk married couple from a bar one night in Ann Arbor, MI and drove them to Northville, which was about 25 minutes away. The husband was a little tipsy but the wife was pretty hammered. Anyway, while we were on the freeway, I heard moaning and when I looked back, I saw the husband giving his wife oral sex. It went on for a few minutes and she was very loud. I glanced back and forth from the backseat to the road probably about 13 times, but I didn't say a word to them during it. It was the most uncomfortable moment of my life. It was also only my first or second week as an Uber driver.

Did anyone have anything crazier than that happen in their car while Uber driving? Somehow I kind of doubt it but if one of your passengers did anything that can top that I'd really like to hear it.


----------



## ThatUberGuy (Sep 8, 2015)

Not sure if I can beat that but I got a 5 minute lap dance with a nice solid grind and motorboating in exchange for my glowstache.

Throughout the 15 minute ride she kept saying she really wanted the glowstache and told me she would put her boobs in my face for them. I thought about it during the ride and agreed when we got to the stop at the apartment parking lot. It was around midnight and no one else around except for her three friends 2 guys and a girl. They even provided the 5 minute timer. It was a fun time. lol


----------



## CrazyT (Jul 2, 2016)

Nope but I had it the other way around where the chick went down on him. I just as politely as I could said that I put my kids back there so I'd appreciate it if he didn't leave his there. He laughed and told the chick guess you're just gonna behave to swallow.


----------



## elelegido (Sep 24, 2014)

ThatUberGuy said:


> Not sure if I can beat that but I got a 5 minute lap dance with a nice solid grind and motorboating in exchange for my glowstache.
> 
> Throughout the 15 minute ride she kept saying she really wanted the glowstache and told me she would put her boobs in my face for them. I thought about it during the ride and agreed when we got to the stop at the apartment parking lot. It was around midnight and no one else around except for her three friends 2 guys and a girl. They even provided the 5 minute timer. It was a fun time. lol


I sold mine for 100 bucks on ebay; I think I got the better deal.


----------



## hamzawesome (Aug 4, 2015)

CrazyT said:


> Nope but I had it the other way around where the chick went down on him. I just as politely as I could said that I put my kids back there so I'd appreciate it if he didn't leave his there. He laughed and told the chick guess you're just gonna behave to swallow.


Did they give you a tip? The husband gave me $4...


----------



## Uberchampion (Oct 17, 2015)

hamzawesome said:


> Yes, you read that correctly. About a year ago I picked up a drunk married couple from a bar one night in Ann Arbor, MI and drove them to Northville, which was about 25 minutes away. The husband was a little tipsy but the wife was pretty hammered. Anyway, while we were on the freeway, I heard moaning and when I looked back, I saw the husband giving his wife oral sex. It went on for a few minutes and she was very loud. I glanced back and forth from the backseat to the road probably about 13 times, but I didn't say a word to them during it. It was the most uncomfortable moment of my life. It was also only my first or second week as an Uber driver.
> 
> Did anyone have anything crazier than that happen in their car while Uber driving? Somehow I kind of doubt it but if one of your passengers did anything that can top that I'd really like to hear it.


I had a couple going at it pretty heavily a few months ago...tapped my dashcam and asked if they minded me posting the session.

They stopped.


----------



## Shangsta (Aug 15, 2016)

Why allow people to do that in your car?


----------



## hamzawesome (Aug 4, 2015)

Shangsta said:


> Why allow people to do that in your car?


I didn't know what to say to them once I saw what they were doing. So I just said nothing.


----------



## htboston (Feb 22, 2016)

A drunk girl once flashed me last 4th of July. She wanted to show me the two blue stars she taped or glued on her nipples. Usually Friday or Saturday nights you get the crazies, but I usually don't drive those nights.


----------



## TwoFiddyMile (Mar 13, 2015)

I'm still trying to construct the perfect joke around the title.
"A man went down on his wife in my car. For 10 blocks it's 'slurp slurp slurp'.
Suddenly the guy comes up for air...
"Pal, turn into this drive through!"
I slammed on the breaks.
"We already went through Fabulous Fish Tacos. Ain't no WAY you two are going through In n Out!"


----------



## SibeRescueBrian (May 10, 2015)

A man went down on his wife in my car
Thank god he didn't have to go far
The fare was a surge
I succumbed to the urge
To go have a drink at the bar


----------



## Older Chauffeur (Oct 16, 2014)

SibeRescueBrian said:


> A man went down on his wife in my car
> Thank god he didn't have to go far
> The fare was a surge
> I succumbed to the urge
> To go have a drink at the bar


----------



## ShawnsUber (Sep 8, 2016)

Well, not very sexy, but I don't think I will EVER get this out of my memory:

https://uberpeople.net/threads/2-drivers-2-many.110269/​


----------



## Lowestformofwit (Sep 2, 2016)

That's the worst thing about those leaky blow-up spouse dolls.
No matter how often you pump them, they always end up going down on you.


----------



## CrazyT (Jul 2, 2016)

hamzawesome said:


> Did they give you a tip? The husband gave me $4...


Actually yeah. $10.


----------



## BEXi (Oct 25, 2016)

I would never allow that in my car. Disgusting.


----------



## hamzawesome (Aug 4, 2015)

SibeRescueBrian said:


> A man went down on his wife in my car
> Thank god he didn't have to go far
> The fare was a surge
> I succumbed to the urge
> To go have a drink at the bar


Unfortunately they did have to go far. The trip was 25 minutes.


----------



## Older Chauffeur (Oct 16, 2014)

hamzawesome said:


> Unfortunately they did have to go far. The trip was 25 minutes.


But it wasn't "they" it was "he" who didn't have to go far in the limerick. Maybe because he was short in stature?


----------



## Older Chauffeur (Oct 16, 2014)

ChortlingCrison said:


> How far down?


Apparently far enough. "She was very loud."


----------



## Lowestformofwit (Sep 2, 2016)

ChortlingCrison said:


> How far down?


----------



## mrPYouMan (Oct 21, 2016)

Regular Saturday night thing in the back of the mini van


----------



## tohunt4me (Nov 23, 2015)

hamzawesome said:


> Yes, you read that correctly. About a year ago I picked up a drunk married couple from a bar one night in Ann Arbor, MI and drove them to Northville, which was about 25 minutes away. The husband was a little tipsy but the wife was pretty hammered. Anyway, while we were on the freeway, I heard moaning and when I looked back, I saw the husband giving his wife oral sex. It went on for a few minutes and she was very loud. I glanced back and forth from the backseat to the road probably about 13 times, but I didn't say a word to them during it. It was the most uncomfortable moment of my life. It was also only my first or second week as an Uber driver.
> 
> Did anyone have anything crazier than that happen in their car while Uber driving? Somehow I kind of doubt it but if one of your passengers did anything that can top that I'd really like to hear it.


1.) Did you get a tip !
2.) Was it a pool ride ?


----------



## tohunt4me (Nov 23, 2015)

hung said:


> A drunk girl once flashed me last 4th of July. She wanted to show me the two blue stars she taped or glued on her nipples. Usually Friday or Saturday nights you get the crazies, but I usually don't drive those nights.


I had a neighbor who was a stripper once. She showed me her new crystal pendants for her newly pierced nipples. With the utmost sincerity,she told me she would now hypnotize them into giving her all their money with them.
True story.


----------



## JanuaryStone (Oct 29, 2016)

hamzawesome said:


> Yes, you read that correctly. About a year ago I picked up a drunk married couple from a bar one night in Ann Arbor, MI and drove them to Northville, which was about 25 minutes away. The husband was a little tipsy but the wife was pretty hammered. Anyway, while we were on the freeway, I heard moaning and when I looked back, I saw the husband giving his wife oral sex. It went on for a few minutes and she was very loud. I glanced back and forth from the backseat to the road probably about 13 times, but I didn't say a word to them during it. It was the most uncomfortable moment of my life. It was also only my first or second week as an Uber driver.
> 
> Did anyone have anything crazier than that happen in their car while Uber driving? Somehow I kind of doubt it but if one of your passengers did anything that can top that I'd really like to hear it.


That's gross. Get the Febreeze!


----------



## UTX1 (Dec 7, 2015)

A man and his wife went down on my car.

This was beyond anything I've eve seen.


----------



## jeep45238 (Oct 6, 2016)

Slam breaks, pull over, eject from car, drive away/cancel/report/write to never be paired with again. Commence cleaning and purge the memory banks (booze helps).


----------



## Gekko1 (Oct 31, 2016)

Hey this is a big reason why I joined Uber!!! My car has easy to clean upholstery so some armor all, febreze; good as new. Not like they're using it as a toilet. I'm definitely hoping for some X rated entertainment driving.. tonight will be my very first night on the road with Uber!


----------



## the rebel (Jun 12, 2016)

Back when I drove a cab I had a guy pay me an extra $100 in cash to take the long route to his house outside of town, his girl had a fantasy and they cleaned up the mess off the pleather seats with armorall when they got out. I did not care as it was a cab, but you can bet they would have been walking if it was in my personal car.


----------



## UTX1 (Dec 7, 2015)

Gekko1 said:


> Hey this is a big reason why I joined Uber!!!
> My car has easy to clean upholstery so some armor all, febreze; good as new.
> Not like they're using it as a toilet. I'm definitely hoping for some X rated entertainment driving..
> tonight will be my very first night on the road with Uber!


See, you're sick like me . I like you already.


----------



## Peanut hello (Sep 19, 2016)

Most married couples behave ,sometimes they argue, even if they are drunk,if somebody acting silly in your back seat means it is their first date.


----------



## Oscar Levant (Aug 15, 2014)

hamzawesome said:


> Yes, you read that correctly. About a year ago I picked up a drunk married couple from a bar one night in Ann Arbor, MI and drove them to Northville, which was about 25 minutes away. The husband was a little tipsy but the wife was pretty hammered. Anyway, while we were on the freeway, I heard moaning and when I looked back, I saw the husband giving his wife oral sex. It went on for a few minutes and she was very loud. I glanced back and forth from the backseat to the road probably about 13 times, but I didn't say a word to them during it. It was the most uncomfortable moment of my life. It was also only my first or second week as an Uber driver.
> 
> Did anyone have anything crazier than that happen in their car while Uber driving? Somehow I kind of doubt it but if one of your passengers did anything that can top that I'd really like to hear it.


It's happened a couple of times in my life, but it rarely happens. It's your call as to what to do.


----------



## Freddie Blimeau (Oct 10, 2016)

It's alot better to go down on a woman on a couch, a bed or a comfy chair. If a pax asked me to go down on her in the car, I'd tell her there isn't enough room in the car.


----------



## dirtylee (Sep 2, 2015)

Freddie Blimeau said:


> It's alot better to go down on a woman on a couch, a bed or a comfy chair. If a pax asked me to go down on her in the car, I'd tell her there isn't enough room in the car.



Pull the drivers seat up all the way. 
Remove head rest.
Recline seat all the way & prop up the head rest on back seat.
She gets into position, she has enough room to straddle your face & her head should be clear of the steering wheel.


----------



## Lowestformofwit (Sep 2, 2016)

Thanks for the detailed "heads-up" on the methodology.


----------



## Lowestformofwit (Sep 2, 2016)

Gekko1 said:


> I'm definitely hoping for some X rated entertainment driving.. tonight will be my very first night on the road with Uber!


New lyrics for that Van Morrison classic "It''s a marvellous night for a muffdive..."


----------



## Lionslover (Nov 2, 2016)

hamzawesome said:


> I didn't know what to say to them once I saw what they were doing. So I just said nothing.


I would of stopped car and let them out at gas station.


----------



## EX_ (Jan 31, 2016)

Request a cleaning fee?


----------



## UTX1 (Dec 7, 2015)

dirtylee said:


> Pull the drivers seat up all the way.
> Remove head rest.
> Recline seat all the way & prop up the head rest on back seat.
> She gets into position, she has enough room to straddle your face & her head should be clear of the steering wheel.


Amazing ! Almost word for word, these are the instructions on the pamphlet that
I hand to each pax couple as they enter the car. Sometimes, they need a little assistance.
Most of the time they already know what to do, even if they can't read.

By request, I can play "Poker Face" by Lady Gaga, which does add something to the freak experience.
Either way, I'm just driving. I keep my hands firmly on the wheel...at least one of them. Oh yea, eyes on the road too.


----------



## Suzdog (Nov 26, 2015)

hamzawesome said:


> Yes, you read that correctly. About a year ago I picked up a drunk married couple from a bar one night in Ann Arbor, MI and drove them to Northville, which was about 25 minutes away. The husband was a little tipsy but the wife was pretty hammered. Anyway, while we were on the freeway, I heard moaning and when I looked back, I saw the husband giving his wife oral sex. It went on for a few minutes and she was very loud. I glanced back and forth from the backseat to the road probably about 13 times, but I didn't say a word to them during it. It was the most uncomfortable moment of my life. It was also only my first or second week as an Uber driver.
> 
> Did anyone have anything crazier than that happen in their car while Uber driving? Somehow I kind of doubt it but if one of your passengers did anything that can top that I'd really like to hear it.


Stinky hole on your seat. YUCK. Nothing is worth that encounter.


----------



## Tim In Cleveland (Jul 28, 2014)

I'm sorry some of you are allowing yourself to sink so low as to be the warn out mattress at an hourly motel. That's DISGUSTING. If anyone tries that in my car, I will stop the car and kick their nasty butts to the curb. OH MY GOD! "I let them cuz they might tip me $2". That's pathetic. Yeah, why spring for a motel when dumb drivers will let you ride for $10? STD juice all over your car and you think you can just wipe it off and Febreeze it? Yuck! This has to be a shill conversation from greedy Uber investors looking to grind an extra buck out of drivers.


----------



## Jimmy Bernat (Apr 12, 2016)

A very trashy ex of mine gave me a BJ in a taxi once , good times . I was so messed up I don't think I even pay attention to if the driver noticed or not

When I first started Lyft I had two girls finger each other for a few minutes in the back seat while making out. Thank god for synthetic leather haha


----------



## SibeRescueBrian (May 10, 2015)

Sorry folks. Fun is fun, but we need to keep things PG-13 at the most. Thank you.


----------



## Steven Ambrose (Sep 25, 2016)

Oh my god.... I could have gone without reading any of these stories, but my morbid curiousity could not keep me from not reading. I really do not know how I would react to something like that happening in my car.


----------



## Gekko1 (Oct 31, 2016)

As Jimmy Bernat said - "Thank God for Synthetic Leather". I have to admit if I still had a car with fabric interior - I would be far more like Tim in Cleveland. Having a good quality and hard interior allows me to be far more libertarian.. libertine...


----------



## McGyüber (Jun 27, 2016)

Freddie Blimeau said:


> It's alot better to go down on a woman on a couch, a bed or a comfy chair. If a pax asked me to go down on her in the car, I'd tell her there isn't enough room in the car.


Way before I said something like that I'd at LEAST give the ole college try, you know, one for the Gipper..
giggity


----------



## Gekko1 (Oct 31, 2016)

Giggity Giggity Gi Gi Gooo!!!


----------



## TrappinOutTheUber (Nov 7, 2016)

hamzawesome said:


> Yes, you read that correctly. About a year ago I picked up a drunk married couple from a bar one night in Ann Arbor, MI and drove them to Northville, which was about 25 minutes away. The husband was a little tipsy but the wife was pretty hammered. Anyway, while we were on the freeway, I heard moaning and when I looked back, I saw the husband giving his wife oral sex. It went on for a few minutes and she was very loud. I glanced back and forth from the backseat to the road probably about 13 times, but I didn't say a word to them during it. It was the most uncomfortable moment of my life. It was also only my first or second week as an Uber driver.
> 
> Did anyone have anything crazier than that happen in their car while Uber driving? Somehow I kind of doubt it but if one of your passengers did anything that can top that I'd really like to hear it.


Did he at least give you a "heads" up!? Lol (ok I'll leave now)


----------



## TrappinOutTheUber (Nov 7, 2016)

SibeRescueBrian said:


> A man went down on his wife in my car
> Thank god he didn't have to go far
> The fare was a surge
> I succumbed to the urge
> To go have a drink at the bar


#Barz


----------

