# New Uber Badges



## Uber Crack (Jul 19, 2017)

Hahaha!  
At first I thought this was legit 
Yay! Pick me for the happiness badge


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## NOLA gUber (Sep 1, 2017)

Thought legit, also!! Well done, Mista T!! Smiling and laughing the whole read through. THANK YOU FOR THE LAUGHS!
Truly, one of the best parts of driving is the company of all you strangers on this board who are crazy, fun, and have talents beyond stop and go! Love ya Uber family!!


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## Mista T (Aug 16, 2017)

I'm curious how many people read this and clicked here, over and over, expecting something to happen.


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## NOLA gUber (Sep 1, 2017)

Mista T said:


> I'm curious how many people read this and clicked here, over and over, expecting something to happen.


You got me!


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## Hamilton OC (Aug 1, 2018)

Damn I'm swimming in these "new" badges. I clicked none of your here's. I always sense a ruse afoot when you're involved T.

Just badges, mmmm lots of badges.


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## jgiun1 (Oct 16, 2017)

Mista T said:


> I'm curious how many people read this and clicked here, over and over, expecting something to happen.


Me twice....lol


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## Uber Crack (Jul 19, 2017)

Mista T said:


> I'm curious how many people read this and clicked here, over and over, expecting something to happen.


I did


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## UberAwkwardAcuraGirl (Oct 11, 2018)

As usual, well written Mr. T! Andddd I qualify for several of those badges. I'm waiting. *stomps foot*


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## Pax Collector (Feb 18, 2018)

UberAwkwardAcuraGirl said:


> As usual, well written Mr. T! Andddd I qualify for several of those badges. I'm waiting. *stomps foot*


Hi Fiona! Ubering in your totalled Toyota Rav4?


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## UberAwkwardAcuraGirl (Oct 11, 2018)

Pax Collector said:


> Hi Fiona! Ubering in your totalled Toyota Rav4?


Yes. And that wasn't my fault, although I did total my car.  I blame Ford, that lying #%*#[email protected]


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## Pax Collector (Feb 18, 2018)

UberAwkwardAcuraGirl said:


> Yes. And that wasn't my fault, although I did total my car.  I blame Ford, that lying #%*#[email protected]


Lol touche


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## Kurt Halfyard (Dec 13, 2017)

New UBER slogan: "We're not happy, until you're not happy."


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## Christinebitg (Jun 29, 2018)

Kurt Halfyard said:


> New UBER slogan: "We're not happy, until you're not happy."


Stole that one from Air Canada, did ya? 

Christine


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## Kurt Halfyard (Dec 13, 2017)

Christinebitg said:


> Stole that one from Air Canada, did ya?


Yup. Best 'unofficial' slogan in the history of business!


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## Crosbyandstarsky (Feb 4, 2018)

Mista T said:


> *Breaking news from Uber!!*
> We have been speaking with drivers around the world for many years, and once again Uber, your great non-employer, has decided to give you, our driver-partners, exactly what you have been asking for: new badges!
> 
> These new rewards won't be easy to achieve. Only the bravest and most committed drivers will be able to earn these highly coveted badges. Scroll down or click here for more information.
> ...


This is the stupidest thing I ever heard


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## Mista T (Aug 16, 2017)

Crosbyandstarsky said:


> This is the stupidest thing I ever heard


Well, you are still young. Plenty of time to hear much stupider things. Don't give up hope.


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## Seamus (Jun 21, 2018)

As usual well done! I'll should be getting several of those badges!


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## LABREN (Aug 31, 2016)

I'm so confused. What's with these badges? I don't see anything about earning more money.

"*Everyone knows that money is overrated.* The satisfaction that comes from helping others is much more valuable than mere cash. We at Uber want to recognize you for your contribution to the human race with the No Tips For Me badge."


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## Disgusted Driver (Jan 9, 2015)

Love it and it wasn't even April Fools! Great job!!


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## Mista T (Aug 16, 2017)

Language Barrier badge:










Most 5 Stars Given:


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## Solid 5 (Aug 24, 2018)

Mista T said:


> I'm curious how many people read this and clicked here, over and over, expecting something to happen.


Three times actually LOL.....hey I kept waiting for the ONE time it would Rick Roll me!!!!!!!


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## Mista T (Aug 16, 2017)

Hate My Life badge:










Highest AR badge:










My DUI Prevention badge pic is too large to post


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## AnotherUberGuy (Oct 26, 2018)

Great Stuff.


Mista T said:


> I'm curious how many people read this and clicked here, over and over, expecting something to happen.


I clicked it assuming it would go some elaborately constructed page of real looking but fake data .... or perhaps a rickroll


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## Phatboy (Feb 9, 2017)

What about a politically correct and gender neutral behaviour badge? No idea what it might look like......


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## scott9002ca (Jan 18, 2018)

Oh damn... I win most of these... "No Tips For Me" (Rarely if ever get tips), "Burning Up My Car" (2017 car), "Language Barrier" (live in quebec and don't really speak french), "Uber Loves You" (we don't have lyft or anything else here), "Most 5 Stars Given" (I suspect this is related to my rating, which is 4.99, so I don't get shitty riders. I also never really take low rated passengers). If the customer is out within 2 minutes, behaves ok, and is otherwise pleasant, I'll give them their 5 star rating.


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## RideshareSpectrum (May 12, 2017)

Mista T said:


> I'm curious how many people read this and clicked here, over and over, expecting something to happen.


Ha ha.. that was funny! Ya got me ya got me.


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## Phatboy (Feb 9, 2017)

I've thought of another two badges......

Master of illegal pick-ups (for pick ups in no stopping zones, bus stops, clearway and the like)

King of traffic violations


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## Mista T (Aug 16, 2017)

Phatboy said:


> I've thought of another two badges......
> 
> Master of illegal pick-ups (for pick ups in no stopping zones, bus stops, clearway and the like)
> 
> King of traffic violations


Those are good.

"Most Minors Driven"

"Most Pax Kicked Out Mid Ride"

"Most Complaints Without Deactivation"


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## Phatboy (Feb 9, 2017)

I'm on fire.....

What about "most hook-ups arranged on pool trips"


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## iDriveuThrive (Sep 2, 2018)

Crosbyandstarsky said:


> This is the stupidest thing I ever heard


Yet so true!


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## LyftNewbie10 (Apr 19, 2018)

My badge:


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## Who is John Galt? (Sep 28, 2016)

Mista T said:


> I'm curious how many people read this and clicked here, over and over, expecting something to happen.


Click *here * where something will happen. Where? Somewhere over the rainbow.

.


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## RIchB_IV (Feb 28, 2017)

Where do I sign up for these *awesome* features 

Hey everybody, just wanted to say happy upcoming holidays to you and your families


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## Ubergirl079 (Nov 7, 2018)

LABREN said:


> I'm so confused. What's with these badges? I don't see anything about earning more money.
> 
> "*Everyone knows that money is overrated.* The satisfaction that comes from helping others is much more valuable than mere cash. We at Uber want to recognize you for your contribution to the human race with the No Tips For Me badge."


WTH??? No Tips For Me Badge? Is this a joke? LMAO


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## Nonya busy (May 18, 2017)

Kurt Halfyard said:


> New UBER slogan: "We're not happy, until you're not happy."


Seriously that's actually true.


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## Nonya busy (May 18, 2017)

Mista T said:


> *Breaking news from Uber!!*
> We have been speaking with drivers around the world for many years, and once again Uber, your great non-employer, has decided to give you, our driver-partners, exactly what you have been asking for: new badges!
> 
> These new rewards won't be easy to achieve. Only the bravest and most committed drivers will be able to earn these highly coveted badges. Scroll down or click here for more information.
> ...


Funny because this sounds real. *Uber says, Congratulations, you requested changes and we listened! Then you see the changes and it's like wtf? *Puccc outta here!


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## JqYork (Jul 4, 2014)

Great piece! I just hope no one from Uber corporate sees it because if they do - they'll immediately recognize that this is the kind of creativity they need! They'll hire you in a minute! And then this won't be a joke no mo'!


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## Unleaded (Feb 16, 2018)

To: Mista T.
I could not respond to your invite (due to a forum restriction) for me to write a sequel to the “Dara Goes Driving” Do I thought to send you my response in this area.

To compose a like minded story or sequel to “Dara Goes Driving” would be baseless and overkill at the same time. The novel article was done well and served a great awareness purpose. Uber Support already knows the age old problems facing drivers because drivers report this issues as they happen while seeking guidance and due compensation. We can only hope that resolutions and damage control are being crafted as promised in the form responses we get when we report and complain. The underage minor account holder and ride requestor issues are supposedly being addressed. Let’s just wait and watch. I will reserve my compsition skills for the future batch of new challenges. Thanks for the invite anyway.


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## iDriveuThrive (Sep 2, 2018)

JqYork said:


> Great piece! I just hope no one from Uber corporate sees it because if they do - they'll immediately recognize that this is the kind of creativity they need! They'll hire you in a minute! And then this won't be a joke no mo'!


Love it! I have to believe they've got someone for that on their team already. They work on commission, the more they rack up for Uber the more they can keep from our share for themselves, they must be good!


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## Multitasker (Sep 10, 2017)

Mista T said:


> *Breaking news from Uber!!*
> We have been speaking with drivers around the world for many years, and once again Uber, your great non-employer, has decided to give you, our driver-partners, exactly what you have been asking for: new badges!
> 
> These new rewards won't be easy to achieve. Only the bravest and most committed drivers will be able to earn these highly coveted badges. Scroll down or click here for more information.
> ...


Buahahahaha uber morons


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