# Uber Drivers are so Poor...



## Papa Sarducci (Jun 20, 2016)

They can't even pay attention.


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## IERide (Jul 1, 2016)

I see what you did there Guido !


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## tohunt4me (Nov 23, 2015)

I'm so poor,I'm thinking about getting married for the rice.


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## Papa Sarducci (Jun 20, 2016)

tohunt4me said:


> I'm so poor,I'm thinking about getting married for the rice.


Beware the three rings of marriage, engagement, wedding, suffering.


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## tohunt4me (Nov 23, 2015)

Papa Sarducci is so poor,I saw him kicking a can down the road yesterday.

So I ask him ," Guido,what you doing"?

He says " moving".


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## UberReallySucks (Jul 17, 2015)

And the reason why:

Travis Kalanick/Net worth
6 billion USD
2015


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## Taxi Driver in Arizona (Mar 18, 2015)




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## tohunt4me (Nov 23, 2015)

Papa Sarducci said:


> They can't even pay attention.


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## tohunt4me (Nov 23, 2015)

Taxi Driver in Arizona said:


>


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## backstreets-trans (Aug 16, 2015)

Papa Sarducci is so poor, on Sundays they pass a collection plate just for him.


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## backstreets-trans (Aug 16, 2015)

Uber drivers are so poor, that after they drop you off at home they ask if they can siphon gas out of your car as a tip.


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## tohunt4me (Nov 23, 2015)

Backstreets so poor ,a Tornado hit his house and did $10,000.00 worth of improvements !


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## tohunt4me (Nov 23, 2015)

backstreets-trans said:


> Papa Sarducci is so poor, on Sundays they pass a collection plate just for him.


And he licks the gravy off the collection plate.


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## Papa Sarducci (Jun 20, 2016)

tohunt4me said:


> And he licks the gravy off the collection plate.


Hope that ain't baby gravy.


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## tohunt4me (Nov 23, 2015)

Taxi Arizona so poor,he hangs the toilet paper out to dry.


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## tohunt4me (Nov 23, 2015)

IERide is so poor,
Saw him walking down the street with 1 shoe last week.

I asked him " You lost a shoe ?"

He looks up,smiles,and says " Nope. Found one !"


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## BaitNSwitch (May 12, 2015)

This is a great meme. Like "Yo mama so _____"

Uber drivers are so poor they pan handle on the streets between pings.

Lets keep em coming.


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## tohunt4me (Nov 23, 2015)

Met a rich family of Uber drivers a while back.

They had a " Time Share" together.

One would share the teeth for a time . 
. . . then the other one would get them.


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## Papa Sarducci (Jun 20, 2016)

Kids in Africa send them money.


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## tohunt4me (Nov 23, 2015)

Bait, where were you for surge last night ?
Had a 5-7 Uber Driver surge at the Burger King dumpster.

Baits so poor,when he goes to K.F.C.,He has to lick other people's fingers.


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## Papa Sarducci (Jun 20, 2016)

Even their welfare checks bounce.


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## Papa Sarducci (Jun 20, 2016)

Ramen noodles are a delicacy.


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## Papa Sarducci (Jun 20, 2016)

Red Roof Inn seems like a 5 star hotel.


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## Papa Sarducci (Jun 20, 2016)

They need to take out a loan to buy from the McDonalds value menu.


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## tohunt4me (Nov 23, 2015)

Papa Sarducci is so poor,
He can't afford to " Fly off the Handle"

He got to " Uber off the Handle "!!!


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## Papa Sarducci (Jun 20, 2016)

They go to a check cashing place and come out with less money than they went in with.


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## Papa Sarducci (Jun 20, 2016)

The only way they make rent is to service their land lady. (See Munsoned)


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## tohunt4me (Nov 23, 2015)

Baits so poor,he found a 50% off coupon ,and spent the rest of the night looking for the other half.


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## tohunt4me (Nov 23, 2015)

Whats the difference between an Uber Driver and a large Pizza ?

A large Pizza can FEED A FAMILY !


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## Papa Sarducci (Jun 20, 2016)

They invest their lifes savings in a 9 year old Prius with 150K miles.


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## Papa Sarducci (Jun 20, 2016)

Their 401K plan is a tip jar.


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## tohunt4me (Nov 23, 2015)

Papa Sarducci said:


> Their 401K plan is a tip jar.


Oh no man !

You getting WAY TOO REAL NOW !


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## tohunt4me (Nov 23, 2015)

I saw you under the overpass holding that " NEED GAS MONEY FOR UBER " SIGN !

YOU WERE right next to the guy with the sign " WILL DRIVE FOR FOOD "

That lady told you she would have gave you money for drugs,alchohol,but not Uber.


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## Papa Sarducci (Jun 20, 2016)

Bill collectors feel sorry for them.


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## Papa Sarducci (Jun 20, 2016)

Police don't even bother reading the part of the Miranda rights about "if you cannot afford an attorney".


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## tohunt4me (Nov 23, 2015)

The Repo man Left a car in my driveway . . .


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## Papa Sarducci (Jun 20, 2016)

They only use the toilet at Target because they can't afford toilet paper at home.


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## Papa Sarducci (Jun 20, 2016)

They use actual pine cones as air fresheners.


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## Papa Sarducci (Jun 20, 2016)

By the time they save enough for a family vacation their kids will have families of their own.


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## Papa Sarducci (Jun 20, 2016)

Getting a ping on a 2.0 Surge is like hitting the jackpot.


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## Papa Sarducci (Jun 20, 2016)

They buy their used tires from taxi drivers.


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## Papa Sarducci (Jun 20, 2016)

A speeding ticket wipes out their kids college fund.


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## renbutler (Jul 25, 2015)

UberReallySucks said:


> And the reason why:
> 
> Travis Kalanick/Net worth
> 6 billion USD
> 2015


Uber drivers are so poor...

that they blame everybody else for their terrible life choices that led them to have to drive for Uber!


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## Lyle (Nov 11, 2015)

UberReallySucks said:


> And the reason why:
> 
> Travis Kalanick/Net worth
> 6 billion USD
> 2015


Maybe through Karmic retribution he









will be reincarnated as a Rickshaw puller in India


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## backstreets-trans (Aug 16, 2015)

Tohunt is so poor that he always picks up the road kill. He has perfected his road kill stew. I hear it's quite delicious.


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## Papa Sarducci (Jun 20, 2016)

Dog food actually means dog=food.


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## Papa Sarducci (Jun 20, 2016)

They can't even afford Uber rides, not even pool.


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## Papa Sarducci (Jun 20, 2016)

They have to drive for Lyft to supplement their supplemental income.


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## Papa Sarducci (Jun 20, 2016)

The credit reporting industry had to come up with a new scoring system, the current ones didn't go below 0.


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## Papa Sarducci (Jun 20, 2016)

They qualify for free Obamacare, on Platinum plans.


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## Papa Sarducci (Jun 20, 2016)

Aloe Blacc wrote I need Dollar just for them.


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## Papa Sarducci (Jun 20, 2016)

They cut a $5 foot long into 5 pieces and have lunch for a week.


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## 5StarPartner (Apr 4, 2015)

This is the only factual thread in the history of UP.


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## Papa Sarducci (Jun 20, 2016)

If they get a flat tire they will have to file for bankruptcy.


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## Papa Sarducci (Jun 20, 2016)

They have to live in a VAN down by the RIVER.

R.I.P. Chris Farley :-(


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## backstreets-trans (Aug 16, 2015)

Papa Sarducci said:


> They have to live in a VAN down by the RIVER.
> 
> R.I.P. Chris Farley :-(


With uber drivers it's now a prius down by the river.


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## Papa Sarducci (Jun 20, 2016)

They have VIP status at the local wellfare office.


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## kent kent (Jul 29, 2016)

UberReallySucks said:


> And the reason why:
> 
> Travis Kalanick/Net worth
> 6 billion USD
> 2015


Is uber a usa company?


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## UberReallySucks (Jul 17, 2015)

kent kent said:


> Is uber a usa company?


Born in Silicon Valley.... Considered a Multinational now


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## kent kent (Jul 29, 2016)

Thank you for quick respond, is the company (uber) a USA company or Holland's company or UK company?


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## UberReallySucks (Jul 17, 2015)

USA


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## Papa Sarducci (Jun 20, 2016)

The only land they ever owned was the dirt under their finger nails.


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## shiftydrake (Dec 12, 2015)

Uber drivers are so poor they have to put penny candy on layaway....


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## BaitNSwitch (May 12, 2015)

Papa Sarducci pretty much wins the thread.

Uber drivers are so poor they put a McDonalds McChicken sandwich on layaway


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## BaitNSwitch (May 12, 2015)

Uber drivers so poor burglars break into their houses to leave money


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## kent kent (Jul 29, 2016)

Uber driver are so poor, working so hard and subsidies the rich


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## tohunt4me (Nov 23, 2015)

backstreets-trans said:


> Tohunt is so poor that he always picks up the road kill. He has perfected his road kill stew. I hear it's quite delicious.


It is !


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## tohunt4me (Nov 23, 2015)

kent kent said:


> Thank you for quick respond, is the company (uber) a USA company or Holland's company or UK company?


USA.
With customer driver service team out of India


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## tohunt4me (Nov 23, 2015)

Papa Sarducci said:


> They cut a $5 foot long into 5 pieces and have lunch for a week.


I cut mine into 4


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## kent kent (Jul 29, 2016)

tohunt4me said:


> USA.
> With customer driver service team out of India


Thanks for the info


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## tohunt4me (Nov 23, 2015)

backstreets-trans said:


> Tohunt is so poor that he always picks up the road kill. He has perfected his road kill stew. I hear it's quite delicious.


Had to pawn stove for gas for Uber.


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## backstreets-trans (Aug 16, 2015)

uber drivers are so poor that they always dig a used cup out of the trash at gas stations so they can get the refill prices


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## tohunt4me (Nov 23, 2015)

backstreets-trans said:


> uber drivers are so poor that they always dig a used cup out of the trash at gas stations so they can get the refill prices


Shhhhhhh . . . .


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## kent kent (Jul 29, 2016)

tohunt4me said:


> Had to pawn stove for gas for Uber.


I pawn my underwear for gas for uber


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## Papa Sarducci (Jun 20, 2016)

tohunt4me said:


>


This is so true, the gig economy is great news for labor unions, they will regain their popularity among independent contractors since there really are no labor laws to protect them.


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## tohunt4me (Nov 23, 2015)

Papa Sarducci said:


> This is so true, the gig economy is great news for labor unions, they will regain their popularity among independent contractors since there really are no labor laws to protect them.


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## BaitNSwitch (May 12, 2015)

Uber drivers so poor Nigerian scammers wire money to them.


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## Papa Sarducci (Jun 20, 2016)

BaitNSwitch said:


> Uber drivers so poor Nigerian scammers wire money to them.


Most of them ARE Nigerian scammers at their day jobs.


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## Cocobird (Dec 9, 2015)

Uber drivers are so poor, they have to cut holes in their pockets so they can have something to play with.


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## Papa Sarducci (Jun 20, 2016)

They get their trade dress at a thrift store.


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## oregonuberduber (Jul 8, 2016)

Taxi Driver in Arizona said:


>


How's your buddy Landreas doing? Did he move to Atlanta?


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## Papa Sarducci (Jun 20, 2016)

They have to use their own e-mail servers to send top secret messages


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## gw03081958 (Jun 28, 2016)

Papa Sarducci said:


> They can't even pay attention.


Uber drivers are so poor they grow their own penicillin from moldy bread so they won't have to pay Walmart 4.00 a month when they get sick.


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## Gung-Ho (Jun 2, 2015)

Back to our scheduled program : Uber drivers are so poor...
The phrase " a penny for your thoughts" seems like a good day's pay.


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## shiftydrake (Dec 12, 2015)

Uber. Drivers are so poor they never comment On anything cuz they can't afford to *put their 2 cents in*


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## shiftydrake (Dec 12, 2015)

Drivers are so poor when they hear "another day..another dollar" they jump for joy cuz they think they got a raise


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## shiftydrake (Dec 12, 2015)

Drivers are so poor they painted "GO" on their driveway thinking they could collect $200 for passing "GO"


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## tohunt4me (Nov 23, 2015)

gw03081958 said:


> Uber drivers are so poor they grow their own penicillin from moldy bread so they won't have to pay Walmart 4.00 a month when they get sick.


But that rye mould can earn extra income . . .


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## ExpendableAsset (Aug 12, 2015)

Uber drivers are so poor, that if it cost a nickel to drive around the world they couldn't afford to get out of sight.


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## ExpendableAsset (Aug 12, 2015)

Also, best thread ever.


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## Gung-Ho (Jun 2, 2015)

Uber drivers don't have enough change in their tip jars to make change for a nickel.


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## Papa Sarducci (Jun 20, 2016)

They buy bottled water and mints with foodstamps.


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## Ca$h4 (Aug 12, 2015)

*YO MAMA SO POOR





*


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## LASAC_BER (May 19, 2016)

uber drivers are so poor we think a tortilla with a food stamp is a fortune cookie.


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## Papa Sarducci (Jun 20, 2016)

They have to sell their organs on the black market to feed their family.


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## JD1278 (Jul 26, 2016)

Robin Hood started stealing from the poor and giving to the uber drivers.

The new drive for uber commercials have Sarah McLaughlin playing in the background.

In third world country's when children don't want to eat their three grains of rice parents tell them there are uber drivers who would be grateful for that food.

People aske uber CEO how he sleeps at night. He answers that he had a warm glass of uber drivers tears before bed.

Uber drivers are so poor they couldn't even afford free health care.

The only thing more negative than an uber drivers attitude is their bank account. 

Going out for an uber driver means going to Costco and eating the condiments.

Uber drivers can only offer water to Pax if it rains. 

Uber drivers pan handle at the line for the homeless shelter.

The homeless tell uber drivers to get a job.


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## Papa Sarducci (Jun 20, 2016)

Three square meals a day means 3 saltines.


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## Ignoranamous (Jun 20, 2016)

Uber drivers are so poor, when they get pissed off they can't afford to fly off handle. They have to take a Greyhound.


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## 5StarPartner (Apr 4, 2015)

Most drivers are pretty ugly too. Some look like a variant of a mentally ill Carl Winslow.


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## Papa Sarducci (Jun 20, 2016)

5StarPartner said:


> Most drivers are pretty ugly too. Some look like a variant of a mentally ill Carl Winslow.


Pro Tip - Try not to be unattractive, good looking drivers get better ratings and more tips.


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## 5StarPartner (Apr 4, 2015)

If we just killed every uber driver; that would solve our poverty/homelessness issue in America. Damn leeches.


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## 14gIV (Dec 12, 2015)

From Uber: "The median pay for uber drivers is $90k/yr..." 

$90k isn't exactly welfare you guys are doing just fine


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## Gung-Ho (Jun 2, 2015)

I cried that I had no shoes. Then I met a man who had no feet. He met an uber driver and thanked God he didn't have feet so that he couldn't be an uber driver.


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## mnorton (Dec 8, 2015)

lol if you ever meet an uber driver making 90k a year I'm driving in their town so let me know


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## JD1278 (Jul 26, 2016)




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## Bill Collector (Dec 17, 2015)

Papa Sarducci said:


> Bill collectors feel sorry for them.


We come across such debtors while doing Lexis Nexis search.. I just tell them to send the next tip as a good faith payment!


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## Papa Sarducci (Jun 20, 2016)

14gIV said:


> From Uber: "The median pay for uber drivers is $90k/yr..."
> 
> $90k isn't exactly welfare you guys are doing just fine


Those are the numbers from Dubai, they Uber in Ferraris and get tipped with Rolex watches.


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## bingybingyfoo (May 5, 2016)

Lol, these are hilarious, let's sing a song! 
(De Nene duh dun)
I thought my life was going okay,
Til I became an Uber driver...
Now, I just don't know what to say, 
Can't nobody just tip a fiver?


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## Papa Sarducci (Jun 20, 2016)

At night they plug their Prius into their house so they have electricity.


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## bingybingyfoo (May 5, 2016)

~Throw a little bone my way,
'Cause I'm your Uber driver.
No I never seen that stupid intersection by your house,
But I'll pretend it's not f**kd up,
That's what i do, so what you gonna do,
For your Uber driver?

Anyone?


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## JD1278 (Jul 26, 2016)

What do you call a guy sleeping in a card board box under a bridge?

A top partner

What's the difference between an uber x and xl?

Xl has a walk in closet and a more space to entertain guest. By guest I mean other uber drivers or raccoons.


A McDonald's worker was complaining that they get paid peanuts. All of a sudden an uber driver pulls up saying "Good news kids we are eating tonight"

No one ever pays uber drivers in trident layers.

Some people have I cant believe its not butter in their fridge. Uber drivers have I cant believe its not gravel in their glove box.


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## BaitNSwitch (May 12, 2015)

Uber drivers so poor that when I see one walking down the street with one shoe on I ask "I think you lost a shoe" they go "nah I found one"


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## BaitNSwitch (May 12, 2015)

Uber drivers so poor UNICEF is about to start making "Sponsor an Uber Driver" commercials.


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## JD1278 (Jul 26, 2016)

When people are sad they sing the blues.
When the blues gets sad it sings the uber.


Why do uber drivers wear life jackets?
Because they're drowning in debt.


What do you call an uber driver dating a fast food worker?
Gold digger


Why are uber drivers significant others so dissatisfied sexually?
They can never get past the tip.


When uber drivers give prostitutes rides the prostitutes lecture them about their life decisions.


Why can't uber drivers go the extra mile?
Because they can't risk deadheading the mile back.


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## Older Chauffeur (Oct 16, 2014)

14gIV said:


> From Uber: "The median pay for uber drivers is $90k/yr..."
> 
> $90k isn't exactly welfare you guys are doing just fine


If you truly believe this, you need to look up "median." (Half of all Uber drivers make more than $90k?)


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## Adam S (Jan 12, 2016)

Papa Sarducci is so poor he got deactivated and saw a 300% increase in income.


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## tohunt4me (Nov 23, 2015)

5StarPartner said:


> If we just killed every uber driver; that would solve our poverty/homelessness issue in America. Damn leeches.


When the cars drive themselves . . .


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## Adam S (Jan 12, 2016)

Uber drivers are so poor they have to sell their drug stash to support their driving habit.


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## shiftydrake (Dec 12, 2015)

Uber drivers do make 90k per year........ALL of them combined but there are more than 90k ddrivers so each one gets about a dollar


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## shiftydrake (Dec 12, 2015)

The canoe driver across the river Styx down in the underworld was senteced to a lifetime of penance and suffering so he became an Uber driver


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## Papa Sarducci (Jun 20, 2016)

shiftydrake said:


> Uber drivers do make 90k per year........ALL of them combined but there are more than 90k ddrivers so each one gets about a dollar


BEFORE Uber fees.


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## uberist (Jul 14, 2016)

Uber drivers are so poor homeless beggars avoid eye contact with drivers at traffic lights


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## Fuzzyelvis (Dec 7, 2014)

mnorton said:


> lol if you ever meet an uber driver making 90k a year I'm driving in their town so let me know


I'll move cross country for that...


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## Wil_Iam_Fuber'd (Aug 17, 2015)

Even the puppies in Sarah's commercial are like, dang bra, you're really gonna let that Uber Driver adopt me? Now ain't that a *****...

You know an Uber Driver is broke when the guy sleeping in the bus stop clutching a forty is like, "get a phucin job you bum!"

An Uber Driver is so broke he can't afford a sharpie to mark his piss bottles...so he just rolls the dice. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger!


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## Wil_Iam_Fuber'd (Aug 17, 2015)

An uber driver is so broke, he offers to trade his Prius to the guy begging change. Coin guy says no thanks Mr. Uber, you trying to put me in the poorhouse?


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## Wil_Iam_Fuber'd (Aug 17, 2015)

Thread of the Year Nomination. Great Job Papa Sarducci !!


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## Gung-Ho (Jun 2, 2015)

The Federal Government raised the poverty line threshold to accommodate a new classification lower than the poverty line...The UberX driver income line.


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## Abraxas79 (Feb 7, 2016)

Papa Sarducci said:


> Beware the three rings of marriage, engagement, wedding, suffering.


It is actually the four horses of the apocalypse. You can add Death or Divorce. Pick your poison.


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## Uber Lyft Dude (Jan 14, 2016)

Uber drivers so poor. You will now have to pay pool passengers $1.50 to drop them off.


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## backstreets-trans (Aug 16, 2015)

Uber drivers are so poor they've come up with some golden rules to survive.

1) Sleep in your car.

2) Bathe at the gas stations.

3) Dine from the dumpsters.


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## Uber Lyft Dude (Jan 14, 2016)

Pings himself a long ride so he can cash out today.


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## Uber Lyft Dude (Jan 14, 2016)

Votes for Trump and blames all his failures to Mexican, muslims, immigrants. This is why he is a uber driver.


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## Uber Lyft Dude (Jan 14, 2016)

This seriously happened! I needed a jump start as I ran the AC on with engine off for a while. Taxi cab driver didn't want my $30 tip...


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## BaitNSwitch (May 12, 2015)

Uber drivers so poor when passengers ask "can I eat in your car?" they say yes, just so they can eat the crumbs that fall after the passenger leaves.


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## Brian G. (Jul 5, 2016)

Thanks to the tax payers I'll be receiving my ebt (free food) from lovely people like youl and my free health care. I only Uber 1 hour per day to live on the dole.


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## Transportador (Sep 15, 2015)

All of this is soooo true! LMAO. Thank you all especially Papa Sarducci!!!


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## Wil_Iam_Fuber'd (Aug 17, 2015)

backstreets-trans said:


> Uber drivers are so poor they've come up with some golden rules to survive.
> 
> 1) Sleep in your car.
> 
> ...


Gotta eat, gotta sleep. But who's got time to bathe. That one seems "optional"?


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## HERR_UBERMENSCH (Jun 3, 2016)

Wil_Iam_Fuber'd said:


> Gotta eat, gotta sleep. But who's got time to bathe. That one seems "optional"?


Way to think like a real taxi driver!


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## Adam S (Jan 12, 2016)

They get nostalgic every time they drive. Reminiscing about the days of old when they used to play penny poaker as kids.


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## Adam S (Jan 12, 2016)

There once was an uber driver who learned how to milk the system for all it was worth. He became a legend in the eyes of many young drivers. After receiving a ping to the local grocery store he pulled up to the front door and spotted his rider. She happily loaded a weeks worth of groceries into his van. When she turned around to bring the cart back to the store he was struck by an idea that would forever change his life. He closed the automatic sliding doors on his van, sped off and cancled as a rider no show. He now had a weeks worth of groceries and a few dollers for gas.


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## HERR_UBERMENSCH (Jun 3, 2016)

Adam S said:


> There once was an uber driver who learned how to milk the system for all it was worth. He became a legend in the eyes of many young drivers. After receiving a ping to the local grocery store he pulled up to the front door and spotted his rider. She happily loaded a weeks worth of groceries into his van. When she turned around to bring the cart back to the store he was struck by an idea that would forever change his life. He closed the automatic sliding doors on his van, sped off and cancled as a rider no show. He now had a weeks worth of groceries and a few dollers for gas.


The following day the police came and arrested him, now he has 3 hots and a cot, and a new boyfriend named Bubba.


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## HERR_UBERMENSCH (Jun 3, 2016)

Uber is part of the work release program.


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## Wil_Iam_Fuber'd (Aug 17, 2015)

HERR_UBERMENSCH said:


> Way to think like a real taxi driver!


Hey what can I say...I'm in Chicago, learned from the best!!


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## Louisvilleuberguy (Aug 3, 2016)

If I just drove for the profit I would question myself but I like driving for uber because of the networking. I have so many rest contacts now that I know will pay off in the future. Have been able to send a pax to real estate agent and he got a sale in 2 weeks. And there are several others I've refered all in 2 months.


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## HERR_UBERMENSCH (Jun 3, 2016)

They have to create a GoFundMe page for gas money.


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## BaitNSwitch (May 12, 2015)

Uber drivers so poor they dumpster dive for their kid's Christmas presents.


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## Adam S (Jan 12, 2016)

When asked what they do for a living they say they do contract work for one of the worlds largest nonprofit organizations.


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## HERR_UBERMENSCH (Jun 3, 2016)

When asked, have you ever done any volunteer work, they reply I drive for Uber.


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## Adam S (Jan 12, 2016)

With the last rate cut they had to transform their tip box into a donation box.


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## HERR_UBERMENSCH (Jun 3, 2016)

They are investing in red buckets and bells for the upcoming holiday season.


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## BaitNSwitch (May 12, 2015)

Uber drivers so poor they take customers to McDonalds and Taco Bell drive thrus just to get a sniff of food.


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## shiftydrake (Dec 12, 2015)

They have a reversible sign......side 1 says "Will Uber for Food" ............side 2 says. "Homeless and Uber Driver anything will help God Bless" he chooses which side depending on how "low" he wants to look and how much $$ he thinks each side will get


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## HERR_UBERMENSCH (Jun 3, 2016)

They keep a portable lemonade stand in their trunk and sell it between pings to make gas money.


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## HERR_UBERMENSCH (Jun 3, 2016)

In the winter their primary source of income is from shoveling snow.


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## BaitNSwitch (May 12, 2015)

HERR_UBERMENSCH said:


> In the winter their primary source of income is from shoveling snow.


and in the winter their primary source of nutrition is eating snow.


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## HERR_UBERMENSCH (Jun 3, 2016)

BaitNSwitch said:


> and in the winter their primary source of nutrition is eating snow.


The yellow stuff has much needed salts and electrolytes, like Gatorade.


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## tohunt4me (Nov 23, 2015)

Uber Drivers are so poor they save the chewing gum stuck to the seats for tire repair.


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## tohunt4me (Nov 23, 2015)

backstreets-trans said:


> Uber drivers are so poor they've come up with some golden rules to survive.
> 
> 1) Sleep in your car.
> 
> ...


Shhhhhhh !!!!

Now all the new drivers will over crowd the Dumpsters TOO !


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## tohunt4me (Nov 23, 2015)

uberist said:


> Uber drivers are so poor homeless beggars avoid eye contact with drivers at traffic lights


I had one loan me a dollar and 2 cigarettes last week !


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## tohunt4me (Nov 23, 2015)

Last week I was so broke the bank made me bring back the free pen.


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## backstreets-trans (Aug 16, 2015)

tohunt4me said:


> Last week I was so broke the bank made me bring back the free pen.


And don't even think about asking for the free toaster.


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## backstreets-trans (Aug 16, 2015)

My check deposits are so small the bank teller just shakes her head, laughs and hides the candy dish when I walked in.


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## UberXTampa (Nov 20, 2014)

Papa Sarducci said:


> They use actual pine cones as air fresheners.


Actually I did that during Christmas time. I used actual tree branches cut from Christmas trees as air freshener. I put a bunch of them in the trunk... I might have saved a buck or two.


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## HERR_UBERMENSCH (Jun 3, 2016)

UberXTampa said:


> Actually I did that during Christmas time. I used actual tree branches cut from Christmas trees as air freshener. I put a bunch of them in the trunk... I might gave saved a buck or two.


Just get them out before the needles drop, those things end up everywhere.


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## tohunt4me (Nov 23, 2015)

backstreets-trans said:


> And don't even think about asking for the free toaster.


You need bread & electricity to use it !

Maybe I could pawn it.


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## HERR_UBERMENSCH (Jun 3, 2016)

They buy feeder rats at the pet store, for dinner.


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## tohunt4me (Nov 23, 2015)

HERR_UBERMENSCH said:


> They buy feeder rats at the pet store, for dinner.


And take them for walks to the dumpster on leashes to feed them.

( shave a squirrels tail & they're identical to rats.)


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## HERR_UBERMENSCH (Jun 3, 2016)

They run a side business as an exterminator, all the bugs they can eat.


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## tohunt4me (Nov 23, 2015)

HERR_UBERMENSCH said:


> They run a side business as an exterminator, all the bugs they can eat.


A U.N. approved diet !


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## BaitNSwitch (May 12, 2015)

Uber drivers are so poor they wish pax would puke in their vehicles to be able to collect $200 and...lick the puke for dinner?

Did I go too far? oh well.


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## Adam S (Jan 12, 2016)

BaitNSwitch said:


> Uber drivers are so poor they wish pax would puke in their vehicles to be able to collect $200 and...lick the puke for dinner?
> 
> Did I go too far? oh well.


Yes, yes you did. Or you can just puke proof your vehicle like I did and then wait till you have a passenger who is right on the line. Then hit every pothole you can find, stop quick and accelerate fast. It is just a matter of time before, wait, wait, here it comes, jackpot!


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## Gung-Ho (Jun 2, 2015)

On the radio a DJ mention the Talking Heads album Stop Makin' Sense. The uber driver misinterpreted that as "Stop making cents" and quit for the day.


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## Nhotwtr (Aug 26, 2016)

I picked up a panhandeler with a cardboard sign... And rolled Him lmao


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## Xylphan (Aug 26, 2016)

Uber drivers are so poor they can incorporate as a non-profits.


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## tohunt4me (Nov 23, 2015)

Uber drivers are so poor,they can't afford to pay attention.
It takes them 3 hours to watch 60 Minutes !


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## tohunt4me (Nov 23, 2015)

backstreets-trans said:


> My check deposits are so small the bank teller just shakes her head, laughs and hides the candy dish when I walked in.


Probably asks " is it in yet"
Did you deposit yet ? . . . .


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## kent kent (Jul 29, 2016)

tohunt4me said:


> Uber drivers are so poor,they can't afford to pay attention.
> It takes them 3 hours to watch 60 Minutes !


Uber driver are so poor, trying to rescue fellow drivers and get himself into trouble.


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## tohunt4me (Nov 23, 2015)

Uber drivers are so poor,they have to cut holes in their children's pockets for Christmas so they get something to play with !


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## tohunt4me (Nov 23, 2015)

Nhotwtr said:


> I picked up a panhandeler with a cardboard sign... And rolled Him lmao


Here's proof !


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## kent kent (Jul 29, 2016)

tohunt4me said:


> Uber drivers are so poor,they have to cut holes in their children's pockets for Christmas so they get something to play with !


Uber driver are so poor , they earn so little and have to keep their mouth shut.


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## BaitNSwitch (May 12, 2015)

Uber drivers so poor, instead of buying a christmas tree, they just cut down regular trees on the street.


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