# I’m actively looking for pukers now



## Cableguynoe (Feb 14, 2017)

Just when I thought I would never have a great ride again now that Uber has killed surge, I was blessed with a puker. 
My second ever. 
That's pretty low considering I have over 1500 late night trips. 
But it made me realize that there is still good money to be made out there.

Puke isn't that bad guys. 
Let's go make that money!

Pictures can be provided upon request.


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## AzAppDriver (Feb 27, 2017)

Cableguynoe said:


> Just when I thought I would never have a great ride again now that Uber has killed surge, I was blessed with a puker.
> My second ever.
> That's pretty low considering I have over 1500 late night trips.
> But it made me realize that there is still good money to be made out there.
> ...


Pictures???


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## HotUberMess (Feb 25, 2018)

I have considered purchasing a late night puke-mobile for this purpose. With rubber floor mats and vinyl seats, etc


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## 1.5xorbust (Nov 22, 2017)

Cableguynoe said:


> Just when I thought I would never have a great ride again now that Uber has killed surge, I was blessed with a puker.
> My second ever.
> That's pretty low considering I have over 1500 late night trips.
> But it made me realize that there is still good money to be made out there.
> ...


What was the puck payoff?


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## New2This (Dec 27, 2015)

I thought you were looking for scary stories that made your ass pucker.










Agreed pukers can be profitable. Had a shitty night on Lyft one night. Picked chick up around 1:00 A.M. Literally 3 blocks from her place she pukes. Most of it was on her. Enough to make good pics. The $150 put me over $200 for the night.

Am I bad for submitting it, quick vacuum and Febreze, then doing bar close on Uber?


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## Cableguynoe (Feb 14, 2017)

Cleanup really wasn't that bad.
Most of it easy wipe.


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## Pax Collector (Feb 18, 2018)

Cableguynoe said:


> Cleanup really wasn't that bad.
> Most up it easy wipe.
> 
> View attachment 281998
> ...


That does not look like puke....more like a number 11 at my favorite fast food joint.


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## New2This (Dec 27, 2015)

Cableguynoe said:


> Cleanup really wasn't that bad.
> Most up it easy wipe.
> 
> View attachment 281998
> ...


Shit in my area as is it gets a clean car badge


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## pizzaladee (May 23, 2018)

I had my first puker last night after 11 months of late night driving. He held out until we were pulling into his driveway. He leaned so far out the window that I thought he was going to fall out. Unfortunately for him he still managed to get some on the outside of the door. Had his friends offered $10 for a car wash I would have been good with it. Instead they just pulled him out of the car so he could collapse in the grass and vomit some more. No apology, no offer to clean it. So I snapped some pics and got $40.


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## tohunt4me (Nov 23, 2015)

I have a NICE 08 chevy Impalla.
Blue & silver. Previous cop car.
Under $2,500.00 and 90,000 miles.
3.9 v 6. Shuts off 3 cylinders and gets 30 m.p.g. cruising at 80 m.p.h.

Rubber floors.

Vinyl back seat.
Fleet maintained.

ULTIMATE PUKE MOBILE !

Top End 140 m.p.h.

( just need to remove aluminum shelf in trunk that held radio equipment.)


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## Cableguynoe (Feb 14, 2017)

tohunt4me said:


> I have a NICE 08 chevy Impalla.
> Blue & silver. Previous cop car.
> Under $2,500.00 and 90,000 miles.
> 3.9 v 6. Shuts off 3 cylinders and gets 30 m.p.g. cruising at 80 m.p.h.
> ...


Perfect for New Orleans girls gone wild


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## tohunt4me (Nov 23, 2015)

Cableguynoe said:


> Perfect for New Orleans girls gone wild


Cant use 08 model in NEW ORLEANS !
Cars must be 8 years old or younger.

But i CAN put it out with local taxi company 
Outside of New Orleans.
Make 25% of fares even with someone else driving it.


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## jgiun1 (Oct 16, 2017)

You should put an ad on Craigslist!!!

Nice hit for $100 Noe... looks like a can of spilled baked beans... haven't had one in awhile, I'm due also.


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## x100 (Dec 7, 2015)

pizzaladee said:


> I had my first puker last night after 11 months of late night driving. He held out until we were pulling into his driveway. He leaned so far out the window that I thought he was going to fall out. Unfortunately for him he still managed to get some on the outside of the door. Had his friends offered $10 for a car wash I would have been good with it. Instead they just pulled him out of the car so he could collapse in the grass and vomit some more. No apology, no offer to clean it. So I snapped some pics and got $40.


Uber should sell puke bags for like $8.99 with the openning as big as Kim Kardashian's ass so they stick their head in it and can still breathe and don't mess with ur car; believe me the smell is long lasting.


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## HotUberMess (Feb 25, 2018)

New2This said:


> I thought you were looking for scary stories that made your ass pucker.
> 
> View attachment 281992
> 
> ...


With any luck the smell will push another drinker over the edge into puking


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## New2This (Dec 27, 2015)

HotUberMess said:


> With any luck the smell will push another drinker over the edge into puking


I had considered that. I'm not above double-dipping.


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## Jay Dean (Apr 3, 2015)

I guess I am on the tail end of self respect, not far behind though to defeat, I too will be looking for the same come 2019 or 20 lol


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## Juggalo9er (Dec 7, 2017)

Cableguynoe said:


> Just when I thought I would never have a great ride again now that Uber has killed surge, I was blessed with a puker.
> My second ever.
> That's pretty low considering I have over 1500 late night trips.
> But it made me realize that there is still good money to be made out there.
> ...


Staging a pee accident?


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## New2This (Dec 27, 2015)

Juggalo9er said:


> Staging a pee accident?


Pee's no good. You need visuals for maximum payout.

They don't pay for smell.


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## Juggalo9er (Dec 7, 2017)

New2This said:


> Pee's no good. You need visuals for maximum payout.
> 
> They don't pay for smell.


Really?


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## The-one-with-tundra (May 19, 2017)

Juggalo9er said:


> Really?


Yes


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## Juggalo9er (Dec 7, 2017)

The-one-with-tundra said:


> Yes


Will pee get me anything


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## Cableguynoe (Feb 14, 2017)

Juggalo9er said:


> Will pee get me anything


Could get you a date with certain girls


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## Juggalo9er (Dec 7, 2017)

Cableguynoe said:


> Could get you a date with certain girls


In good conscious, I can not honestly reply to this


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## Cableguynoe (Feb 14, 2017)

Juggalo9er said:


> In good conscious, I can not honestly reply to this


Understood


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## evad77 (Oct 15, 2016)

I only work at night, I’ve done 20150 rides, only 1 puker so far


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## New2This (Dec 27, 2015)

Cableguynoe said:


> Could get you a date with certain girls


They charge extra for that.

So I have read


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## Cableguynoe (Feb 14, 2017)

evad77 said:


> I only work at night, I've done 20150 rides, only 1 puker so far


Holy crap!

That's impressive.
Or maybe I should be saying I'm sorry


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## Zebonkey (Feb 2, 2016)

I haven't had a puker in three years, and this week two in a row. Outside the doors pukers. Both on my last ride of the night, thanks dog. 
Warned them, that I would murder them, if there is a single drop on the inside. By the time I managed to pull over, it was too late.


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## Cableguynoe (Feb 14, 2017)

Zebonkey said:


> Warned them, that I would murder them, if there is a single drop on the inside. By the time I managed to pull over, it was too late.


So they're dead?


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## kc ub'ing! (May 27, 2016)

Juggalo9er said:


> Will pee get me anything


I've had one puker. No chunks. Just a clear wet spot. Got 80 bucks! Your peepee dreams can come true!


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## GreenSubaru (Oct 31, 2018)

Everyone has always puked outside. But for $150, I wouldn't mind a puker at all. Puke is relatively easy to clean up in comparison to the messes I actively combat.

You get these high-as-hell ****ers who wear metal in their pants and cleats I assume. They cut the upholstery and damage the door plastic. Then you have the people who are simply exhuming filthy oil and staining the seats. At least I can clean a vomit in under an hour. One bad customer and I spend 2 hours cleaning then give the girlfriend the keys and a gas mask.


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## Rakos (Sep 2, 2014)

The puking is not scary...

It's when their head...

Starts spinning around...

That you have to worry.. 8>O

Especially if they are puking...

at the same time...8>)

Rakos


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## FormerTaxiDriver♧ (Apr 5, 2018)

How much does diarrhea pay?


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## The Gift of Fish (Mar 17, 2017)

Cableguynoe said:


> Just when I thought I would never have a great ride again now that Uber has killed surge, I was blessed with a puker.
> My second ever.
> That's pretty low considering I have over 1500 late night trips.
> But it made me realize that there is still good money to be made out there.
> ...


When I had an Xchange vehicle I had a couple of pissers in it. GREAT business - people were welcome to come and piss in Uber's car for 150 bucks a pop.


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## Merc7186 (Jul 8, 2017)

Real XL Late Night drivers carry buckets with them....then if you puke, thats on you pax.


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## Cableguynoe (Feb 14, 2017)

Merc7186 said:


> Real XL Late Night drivers carry buckets with them....then if you puke, thats on you pax.


Both my pukers were sleeping right before the puke. 
No way to see it coming.


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## Donshonda (May 3, 2016)

Cableguynoe said:


> Both my pukers were sleeping right before the puke.
> No way to see it coming.


OK I'm ready now too... just got these for the Pilot!!


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## ColumbusRides (Nov 10, 2018)

Donshonda said:


> OK I'm ready now too... just got these for the Pilot!!
> View attachment 282868


Weathertech? I have a Highlander, I was looking last week at getting the set for $99... I didn't buy yet but I will before year end


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## Donshonda (May 3, 2016)

ColumbusRides said:


> Weathertech? I have a Highlander, I was looking last week at getting the set for $99... I didn't buy yet but I will before year end


Yes Weathertech&#8230; They are a lot lighter than I thought they would be. Very good quality. fit like a glove. $120


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## ColumbusRides (Nov 10, 2018)

Donshonda said:


> Yes Weathertech&#8230; They are a lot lighter than I thought they would be. Very good quality. fit like a glove. $120


I just ordered, total came out to 120.70... they charged me $15.00 for shipping. For some reason I was expecting free shipping, lol


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## steveK2016 (Jul 31, 2016)

Lol ive cha ged my strategy too, especially for food. If its one of the last trips of the night, go ahead and eat in my car .9 times out of 10, they'll mmakea mess I can cleanup in 5 mins for $20-40 "tip."

Laster puker puked outside but stepped in it on his way back in. I keep carpet cleaner and disinfectant spray in the trunk. Clean after 10 min and $80 "tip." Previous pukes got every drop outside the car, was my last trip of the night, long haul on 2x surge. Got $100 "tip" and the first gas station i stopped at had a cheap car wash for $4. Only got out of my carto take photos, clean in under 2 minutes.


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## Seamus (Jun 21, 2018)

New2This said:


> Pee's no good. You need visuals for maximum payout.
> 
> They don't pay for smell.


Ok that settles it. Just have to take a dump on your back seat and submit the visual! Just eat a lot of fiber first so it isn't too loose and runny.


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## New2This (Dec 27, 2015)

Seamus said:


> Ok that settles it. Just have to take a dump on your back seat and submit the visual! Just eat a lot of fiber first so it isn't too loose and runny.


Himan shit they might pay for.

Dogshit for a fact they don't pay for. yankdog has firsthand knowledge of this...


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## Dammit Mazzacane (Dec 31, 2015)

Yuck!
Do you have your family ride in your biohazard?


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## kc ub'ing! (May 27, 2016)

FormerTaxiDriver♧ said:


> How much does diarrhea pay?


No effin way! Jeeze you must have PTSD after that! I feel terrible for you. Dear god don't let that happen to me! Bless your heart brother, that's an atrocity.


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## Cableguynoe (Feb 14, 2017)

steveK2016 said:


> Lol ive cha ged my strategy too, especially for food. If its one of the last trips of the night, go ahead and eat in my car .9 times out of 10, they'll mmakea mess I can cleanup in 5 mins for $20-40 "tip."
> .


I'm always disappointed when they're eating in my car and after the ride I go take a look and my car is spotless.
I freakin hate good pax.


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## steveK2016 (Jul 31, 2016)

Cableguynoe said:


> I'm always disappointed when they're eating in my car and after the ride I go take a look and my car is spotless.
> I freakin hate good pax.


Screw that, they left a smell and what is that spot on the carpet?!


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## New2This (Dec 27, 2015)

steveK2016 said:


> Screw that, they left a smell and what is that spot on the carpet?!


They don't pay for smells.

Ask me how I know.


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## Cableguynoe (Feb 14, 2017)

New2This said:


> They don't pay for smells.
> 
> Ask me how I know.


what was the smell?


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## steveK2016 (Jul 31, 2016)

New2This said:


> They don't pay for smells.
> 
> Ask me how I know.


They do for that spot I found!


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## FormerTaxiDriver♧ (Apr 5, 2018)

Cableguynoe said:


> I'm always disappointed when they're eating in my car and after the ride I go take a look and my car is spotless.
> I freakin hate good pax.


And they don't offer a bite either!


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## Cableguynoe (Feb 14, 2017)

steveK2016 said:


> They do for that spot I found!


"found"


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## New2This (Dec 27, 2015)

Cableguynoe said:


> what was the smell?


Beer (assholes snuck it in) spilled- nope

Weed/cigarette/cigar not smoked in the car but reeked of it and lingered- nope

Body odor; mother****er smelled worse that homeless crackhead- nope

Puke- while I got paid for the mess, not for the smell.


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## steveK2016 (Jul 31, 2016)

Cableguynoe said:


> "found"


Its moist and smells like burgers in the car, could be water but im thinking is burger juice. $20 "tip."


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## UberLaLa (Sep 6, 2015)

That's this guys M.O.


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## 404NofFound (Jun 13, 2018)

Unless you report it too often.


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## Uberfunitis (Oct 21, 2016)

UberLaLa said:


> That's this guys M.O.


That just reaffirmed in my own mind that I will never do late nights.


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## freeFromUber (Mar 1, 2016)

Cableguynoe said:


> Cleanup really wasn't that bad.
> Most of it easy wipe.
> 
> View attachment 281998
> ...


THAT'S puke? Who was your passenger, a sparrow?


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## HotUberMess (Feb 25, 2018)

The one puker I had, his buddies said “how fast does this car go?” And I said “you want to go fast?”

And then I was punished by Karma


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## HotUberMess (Feb 25, 2018)

UberLaLa said:


> That's this guys M.O.


Wtf is that even alcohol??? Seems like hard drugs


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## warrior lady (Jul 11, 2016)

FormerTaxiDriver♧ said:


> How much does diarrhea pay?
> 
> View attachment 282303


 Good God!! I hope thats just chocolate>



steveK2016 said:


> Lol ive cha ged my strategy too, especially for food. If its one of the last trips of the night, go ahead and eat in my car .9 times out of 10, they'll mmakea mess I can cleanup in 5 mins for $20-40 "tip."
> 
> Laster puker puked outside but stepped in it on his way back in. I keep carpet cleaner and disinfectant spray in the trunk. Clean after 10 min and $80 "tip." Previous pukes got every drop outside the car, was my last trip of the night, long haul on 2x surge. Got $100 "tip" and the first gas station i stopped at had a cheap car wash for $4. Only got out of my carto take photos, clean in under 2 minutes.


I had one couple late night taking a 40 minute ride. I heard them open their food container and I told them, "You can eat only if you're careful and clean up after yourself". I heard the girl say to her man, "Ew jalapenos..Its wasnt suppose to have that on it". Didnt think anything of it until I get to their destination. I turn the domelight on and see chunks of rice and jalapenos on the seat and floor. I said, "Hey I have paper towels if you need them, looking at the mess." They said, "Naw we good". My blood boiled but I kept it calm. I got outta there and took some nice photos to get my $60 cleaning fee..And made sure I'm not matched again with them. I think the girl tossed those jalapenos onto the floor on purpose..like a 3 year old would do with food they don't like...Their disrespect greatly angered me..I wouldnt have went for a cleaning fee if they would have at least TRIED to clean up.


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## New2This (Dec 27, 2015)

warrior lady said:


> I think *YOU KNOW *the girl tossed those jalapenos onto the floor on purpose


FIFY

You've been at this long enough lol


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## steveK2016 (Jul 31, 2016)

warrior lady said:


> Good God!! I hope thats just chocolate>
> 
> I had one couple late night taking a 40 minute ride. I heard them open their food container and I told them, "You can eat only if you're careful and clean up after yourself". I heard the girl say to her man, "Ew jalapenos..Its wasnt suppose to have that on it". Didnt think anything of it until I get to their destination. I turn the domelight on and see chunks of rice and jalapenos on the seat and floor. I said, "Hey I have paper towels if you need them, looking at the mess." They said, "Naw we good". My blood boiled but I kept it calm. I got outta there and took some nice photos to get my $60 cleaning fee..And made sure I'm not matched again with them. I think the girl tossed those jalapenos onto the floor on purpose..like a 3 year old would do with food they don't like...Their disrespect greatly angered me..I wouldnt have went for a cleaning fee if they would have at least TRIED to clean up.


Screw that, why get mad? How long would it take you to have made that $60? 3hours? You made it in 5 minutes to dust off some rice and jalapenos out of your car. I say "thank you!" With a smile when I get an easy to clean mess that pays premium. Their punishment will be that $60 charge for a $10 meal!


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## Cableguynoe (Feb 14, 2017)

warrior lady said:


> .And made sure I'm not matched again with them..


I would love get them them again.

I don't do this gig for respect.
I swallow my pride to make a few bucks.


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## Tdizzle22 (Sep 21, 2016)

New2This said:


> Pee's no good. You need visuals for maximum payout.
> 
> They don't pay for smell.


Pee works...


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## New2This (Dec 27, 2015)

Tdizzle22 said:


> Pee works...
> View attachment 283664
> View attachment 283665


From what I've read darker colored fabrics it doesn't show as easily. Uber/Lyft are all about the visuals.


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## steveK2016 (Jul 31, 2016)

New2This said:


> From what I've read darker colored fabrics it doesn't show as easily. Uber/Lyft are all about the visuals.


Had a girl pee on my black leather back in atlanta .Sent photos uber replied "cant see mess too well" I replied i have dash cam and i literally saw her piss explode out of her vagina!

20 min later I got $150 ..i know she was charged because she called me the next day asking if she puked cuz she had a $167 charge from Uber. Told her she peed in my car and she was So embarassed and apologized .


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## UberLaLa (Sep 6, 2015)

steveK2016 said:


> Had a girl pee on my black leather back in atlanta .Sent photos uber replied "cant see mess too well" I replied i have dash cam and *i literally saw her piss explode out of her vagina! *
> 
> 20 min later I got $150 ..i know she was charged because she called me the next day asking if she puked cuz she had a $167 charge from Uber. Told her she peed in my car and she was So embarassed and apologized .


There's that *visual* New2This was talking about


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## New2This (Dec 27, 2015)

Not gonna lie. Tonight's been dead. 

I'm praying for a (light to moderate) puker


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## Merc7186 (Jul 8, 2017)

Forget pukers, I got $50 cleaning fee tonight for...

Prescription Vagisil.

Because off-the-shelf Vagisil is just not good enough for a stripper. Yes, that actually happened tonight


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## Robertinio123 (Nov 18, 2018)

Hi here, I am new, I want to communicate


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## Cableguynoe (Feb 14, 2017)

New2This said:


> Not gonna lie. Tonight's been dead.
> 
> I'm praying for a (light to moderate) puker


I'm telling you...
looking for pukers is a thing.

Odds aren't terrible.


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## New2This (Dec 27, 2015)

Merc7186 said:


> Forget pukers, I got $50 cleaning fee tonight for...
> 
> Prescription Vagisil.
> 
> Because off-the-shelf Vagisil is just not good enough for a stripper. Yes, that actually happened tonight


yankdog feel free to chime in


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## TwoFiddyMile (Mar 13, 2015)

This guy is into vomit too:


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## Cableguynoe (Feb 14, 2017)

Dammit Mazzacane said:


> Yuck!
> Do you have your family ride in your biohazard?


Funny thing is my car is 10 times cleaner because I uber than if I didn't.

Wife drives SUV to work M-F. 2 kids.
There's crap everywhere until I get my hands on it. Rock hard nuggets under the seats, melted chocolate, etc etc.

Friday before I take off she's a beauty.

When my wife goes out to lunch with co workers and she drives, all she gets is compliments. Since they also have kids they don't understand how she keeps the car that clean. (They don't know I uber).


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## Nick781 (Dec 7, 2014)

I will puke in your car if you give me 50% commission


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## Cableguynoe (Feb 14, 2017)

Nick781 said:


> I will puke in your car if you give me 50% commission


You're still down $75 and your dinner.


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## TwoFiddyMile (Mar 13, 2015)

Cableguynoe said:


> You're still down $75 and your dinner.


Kraft Mac and cheese dinner was only $0.99.


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## Nick781 (Dec 7, 2014)

Cableguynoe said:


> You're still down $75 and your dinner.


I will take one for team


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## Juggalo9er (Dec 7, 2017)

Would be nice to find a golden night 
Puker on lyft
Puker on uber
Night compete


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## Merc7186 (Jul 8, 2017)

Merc7186 said:


> Forget pukers, I got $50 cleaning fee tonight for...
> 
> Prescription Vagisil.
> 
> Because off-the-shelf Vagisil is just not good enough for a stripper. Yes, that actually happened tonight


Well Well Well...my stripper has paid off again. On top of the $50 cleaning fee for the half empty container of prescription vagasil, I now got another $250 because she broke my slide out cup holder. Now I have to replace it cheap...

I guess I ended up with the happy ending.


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## Cableguynoe (Feb 14, 2017)

Merc7186 said:


> Well Well Well...my stripper has paid off again. On top of the $50 cleaning fee for the half empty container of prescription vagasil, I now got another $250 because she broke my slide out cup holder. Now I have to replace it cheap...
> 
> I guess I ended up with the happy ending.


Did she brake it with the back of her head?


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## Juggalo9er (Dec 7, 2017)

Merc7186 said:


> Well Well Well...my stripper has paid off again. On top of the $50 cleaning fee for the half empty container of prescription vagasil, I now got another $250 because she broke my slide out cup holder. Now I have to replace it cheap...
> 
> I guess I ended up with the happy ending.


How did you get 250


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## Merc7186 (Jul 8, 2017)

Rider Damaged Vehicle, sent pics, got repair estimate, get reimbursed. 

Dashcam footage of her face planting also helped too.


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## Cableguynoe (Feb 14, 2017)

Merc7186 said:


> Rider Damaged Vehicle, sent pics, got repair estimate, get reimbursed.
> 
> Dashcam footage of her face planting also helped too.


Crazy thing is many would read what she did to your car and say
"See. That's why I don't drive nights."

I'll read the same thing and say
"this is why I drive nights"


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## Juggalo9er (Dec 7, 2017)

Cableguynoe said:


> Crazy thing is many would read what she did to your car and say
> "See. That's why I don't drive nights."
> 
> I'll read the same thing and say
> "this is why I drive nights"


That's the wrong attitude lol


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## Cableguynoe (Feb 14, 2017)

Juggalo9er said:


> That's the wrong attitude lol


Why does everyone keep telling me that?


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## Bpr2 (Feb 21, 2017)

HotUberMess said:


> With any luck the smell will push another drinker over the edge into puking


It is spelled pucking


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## Cableguynoe (Feb 14, 2017)

Bpr2 said:


> It is spelled pucking


No, it's not.


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## Juggalo9er (Dec 7, 2017)

Cableguynoe said:


> No, it's not.


Its spelled uber, they smell as bad as each otherand are just as hard to clean up the after math of


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## TheRealGnash (Jan 6, 2017)

Juggalo9er said:


> Really?


Really. 
I'm always worried about that. Had a couple close calls. I've heard it doesn't photograph too. Uber is a "pics or it didn't happen" joint.


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## Cableguynoe (Feb 14, 2017)

TheRealGnash said:


> Really.
> I'm always worried about that. Had a couple close calls. I've heard it doesn't photograph too. Uber is a "pics or it didn't happen" joint.


Take pictures anyway and make sure you do it right near drop off. 
They can see the picture location and time stamp. Then don't do any more rides. 
This will help your case.


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## Jay Dean (Apr 3, 2015)

and we wonder why aliens turn around mid space lol


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