# Food Delivery Humor!



## Seamus (Jun 21, 2018)

Every once in a while I feel the need to tell a joke or something to make the night a little more enjoyable. Most of them are lame or corny but they usually get a laugh. I'll give you two.

Example 1, A Five Guys delivery:

me: Hey did you order Five Guys?
customer: They always say "yes"
me: I'm very sorry, I know you ordered Five Guys but they only sent one.....me.

Example 2, A Greek restaurant delivery:

me: Greek deliveries always take a little longer.
Restaurant owner: Why?
me: They're delivered to the back door!

Sounds stupid but you'd be surprised how many laughs they get!

Do you have any Food Delivery related jokes you use? I could use some new material!


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## ANThonyBoreDaneCook (Oct 7, 2019)




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## FLKeys (Dec 27, 2018)

I save the jokes for the PAX, I may need to come up with some for Deliveries. I like having fun with people and most appreciate it.


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## Rickos69 (Nov 8, 2018)

Seamus said:


> Every once in a while I feel the need to tell a joke or something to make the night a little more enjoyable. Most of them are lame or corny but they usually get a laugh. I'll give you two.
> 
> Example 2, A Greek restaurant delivery:
> 
> ...


So you had to piss me off on my first day back!!!!


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## kingcorey321 (May 20, 2018)

I am sorry i only know racial jokes.
What does the---------man get after having sex ? Answer 5 to 10 years . HA HA . terrible joke .


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## Driving With A Purpose (Jul 28, 2020)

You said you wanted lots of toppings on my pizza. I hope that included my saliva!

(I wouldn’t ACTUALLY say that or do that, but it is fun to think about…)


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## ColonyMark (Sep 26, 2019)

Seamus said:


> Every once in a while I feel the need to tell a joke or something to make the night a little more enjoyable. Most of them are lame or corny but they usually get a laugh. I'll give you two.
> 
> Example 1, A Five Guys delivery:
> 
> ...


When I go to Five guys I like to say, Hey! I only see 4 guys! They think that’s SO funny!


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## Seamus (Jun 21, 2018)

Rickos69 said:


> So you had to piss me off on my first day back!!!!


Welcome back! How are you and how was your trip? That seemed to go fast!


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## Rickos69 (Nov 8, 2018)

Seamus said:


> Welcome back! How are you and how was your trip? That seemed to go fast!


Thank you!
It was a full month with my family on the beach! Wish it could have been more. 
Of course, the longer you stay, the harder it is to accept that you need to come back!
I'm gearing up to book next year's flight!!


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## Driving With A Purpose (Jul 28, 2020)

When I make an UE delivery, I might start telling certain people that "my wife has told me she thinks I am Uber successful." Of course I run the risk that the customer might say "well she certainly has low standards!"


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## PepeLePiu (Feb 3, 2017)

Real story:
Got a delivery from TakeOut Waiter to a dorm, in the instructions said "Please sent the cutest delivery guy you got"
I saw the tip, it was $ 1.50, so I get there the girl came out and I said "You only get a handsome delivery guy when you tip over 5 bucks, for $ 1.50 you get me..." She laugh so hard that almost dropped her food, and for me a little comeback for her being tight with her tips. And yes, I know most students are broke.


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## Driving With A Purpose (Jul 28, 2020)

And they sent you? (jk)


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## Seamus (Jun 21, 2018)

In full disclosure, I wrote this on another thread but it seems fitting here.

Question: What's the difference between a DD/UE Driver and a Hooker?

Answer: The Hooker won't take $3 offers!


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## FLKeys (Dec 27, 2018)

Seamus said:


> In full disclosure, I wrote this on another thread but it seems fitting here.
> 
> Question: What's the difference between a DD/UE Driver and a Hooker?
> 
> Answer: *The Hooker won't take $3 offers!*


That is market dependent.


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