# Sexual harassment from an UBER DRIVER on my birthday



## Kevin ko (Sep 20, 2016)

I don't care about the lousy $4.00. I want and am entitled to:
-the driver being accountable in a court of law for his disturbing sexual advances and unsolicited actions towards me.
-an apology from the two reprehensible representatives that laughed and did not escalate or handle the situation as they should have.
-an apology from Uber and unlimited rides until my next birthday provided by Uber with drivers who are not perverted and who do not have deviant, abnormal and smutty minds. Background check your drivers and screen them. They have a huge responsibility and should be screened and thoroughly checked:

1) I was sexually advanced and forced without consent by the Uber driver to touch his erect genitalia. He grabbed my wrists with physical force and placed my hands on his genitals- not once, but TWICE. The first time I yelled, "what the ****!" in a disgusted and blatant tone. I was scared, I didn't know who he was or what he was capable of. Afterwards, just a short moment after, for the second time he has the audacity to grab my wrist again to bring my hands near his genitalia. I yelled stop the car now in both English and in Spanish: "parando aqui ahorra." He responds, I can't make a right onto the street. I freak out not knowing what he will do AND I YELL AT HIM TO STOP IMMEDIATELY. I was thinking the worse case scenario with this horrible human being and morally corrupt Uber employee.

2) He's sick and a sexual offender. I was unlawfully harassed by this sick man who is under contract with Uber. I would like to note that he has most likely done this before. I am confident that I am not the first. 

3) HE ASKED ME IF I LIVE ALONE prior to his unlawful sexual advances during the ride.

4) HE HAS MY ADDRESS IN HIS CELL PHONES GPS SYSTEM, *NOT* Uber's platform. I cannot sleep tonight and am having horrible and ruminating thoughts. I will most likely suffer from PTSD and will definitely seek a psychologist after this traumatizing experience. Uber should and will be responsible and foot those costs.

5) The first female I spoke with on Uber's emergency line laughed 3 times and did not take the situation seriously when I explicitly explained what had happened during the ride. She hung the phone up on me at the end. She said I was not being professional. I responded that the Uber driver was not professional and that I do not have to be after what I had gone through. The number I dialed provided on the Uber App is a safe line, like that of 911 for emergencies, but for Uber, where people call if horrendous and traumatizing incidents happen. Or if they feel others are in danger. I did not feel respected, listened to or safe during both calls.

6) With absolute no luck, solution, social care I call again the number provided on the Uber App. The second operator I called, a man, on Uber's emergency line hangs up because I did not provide a number although I explicitly stated I was sexually assualted by an Uber employee and that I need to immediately speak with a manager. 

7) I am scared for my life should the driver decide to retaliate after me shaming him for his inexcusable and deplorable actions. 

8) EVERY birthday I have from now on, I will have and carry this disgusting and vivid memory ingrained and embedded in my mind. 

9) No company should hire employees that act in this manner since it's a huge liability. It's called background checks and ensuring you provide a safe ride for your customer base by providing responsible drivers. Shame on Uber for hiring this employee, mishandling the situation completely and scarring my future birthdays. You are taking something very special away from me on every September 19th.

I will pick up the police report on Wednesday, first thing. Show my parents who are cognizant of the situation. I have no hesitations to exploit Uber and publicize even further what had happened if those aforementioned & reasonable requests are not met. I do not fear taking further action against Uber.


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## SEAL Team 5 (Dec 19, 2015)

Kevin ko said:


> I don't care about the lousy $4.00. I want and am entitled to:
> -the driver being accountable in a court of law for his disturbing sexual advances and unsolicited actions towards me.
> -an apology from the two reprehensible representatives that laughed and did not escalate or handle the situation as they should have.
> -an apology from Uber and unlimited rides until my next birthday provided by Uber with drivers who are not perverted and who do not have deviant, abnormal and smutty minds. Background check your drivers and screen them. They have a huge responsibility and should be screened and thoroughly checked:
> ...


3 questions; 
1) Why did you sit in the front seat? I assume this because "He grabbed my wrist with physical force and placed my hands on his genitals- not once but TWICE."
2) Why didn't you call 911?
3) forgive this question, but are you male or female? Your name Kevin ko suggests a male name.


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## tohunt4me (Nov 23, 2015)

Kevin ko said:


> I don't care about the lousy $4.00. I want and am entitled to:
> -the driver being accountable in a court of law for his disturbing sexual advances and unsolicited actions towards me.
> -an apology from the two reprehensible representatives that laughed and did not escalate or handle the situation as they should have.
> -an apology from Uber and unlimited rides until my next birthday provided by Uber with drivers who are not perverted and who do not have deviant, abnormal and smutty minds. Background check your drivers and screen them. They have a huge responsibility and should be screened and thoroughly checked:
> ...


TWIST & SNAP
When you twist & snap the " snap bean" it " grows" no more.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY !


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## Kevin ko (Sep 20, 2016)

SEAL Team 5 said:


> 3 questions;
> 1) Why did you sit in the front seat? I assume this because "He grabbed my wrist with physical force and placed my hands on his genitals- not once but TWICE."
> 2) Why didn't you call 911?
> 3) forgive this question, but are you male or female? Your name Kevin ko suggests a male name.


Back seat was taken and I chose to sit in the front 
I did call 911 right after 
Male


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## Fuzzyelvis (Dec 7, 2014)

Kevin ko said:


> Back seat was taken and I chose to sit in the front
> I did call 911 right after
> Male


Pool ride? Or with you? Either way you had a witness. What did the police say?

You do know we are just drivers and this site is not run by Uber?


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## Kevin ko (Sep 20, 2016)

Uber pool. It happened after the woman in the back was dropped off. The police took a report and said a detective will investigate. I'm picking up the report on Wednesday.


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## Gung-Ho (Jun 2, 2015)

Sorry about the creepy situation.

But..."drivers who are not perverted,who do not have deviant, abnormal or smutty minds"

That's a BIG ASK for uber.

Good luck. Hope they get the freak.


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## SEAL Team 5 (Dec 19, 2015)

Kevin ko said:


> Back seat was taken and I chose to sit in the front
> I did call 911 right after
> Male


So you gave the police the scenario. What you described is felony sexual assault. Did the police go through your phone and get name, vehicle description and license plate of the driver? A felony arrest warrant should be extremely easy to secure. Don't worry about contacting Uber yourself. I'm sure a sex crimes detective will have a subpoena by morning for Uber. This is even teetering on a hate crime. If the driver was the same gender as you and was forcing you to behave like a homosexual against your will even after you yelled "STOP IMMEDIATELY", then the driver could of been hateful because you are straight. Hate crimes work both ways. If I were you I would secure a high profile lawyer. Not only does the driver carry a million dollar insurance policy through Uber, but I'm sure Uber has an additional $10 million liability policy. That kind of money can get you the best psychiatric help for your PTSD. It might take a while and much therapy, but I'm convinced that September 19th won't be a continuous Friday the 13th for you much longer. On a side note, with all the hate and violence in the world today I highly suggest that you enroll in a personal defense course and GROW A PAIR. I must state that I don't believe your story at all. If you called 911 right after a felony sexual assault was committed against you then the police would of told you exactly what to do and you would not be on this forum asking for help.


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## Kevin ko (Sep 20, 2016)

I'm on this forum to make it aware how horrible of a company uber is. You don't have to believe my story. I lived it and how dare you tell me to grow a pair. I didn't ask for it.


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## TwoFiddyMile (Mar 13, 2015)

Let me take this opportunity to introduce you to medallion taxis kevin ko.
Vetted, fingerprinted, far less ratio of perverts overall.


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## SEAL Team 5 (Dec 19, 2015)

Kevin ko said:


> Uber pool. It happened after the woman in the back was dropped off. The police took a report and said a detective will investigate. I'm picking up the report on Wednesday.


That's incredible!! A detective can start a felony investigation in the early morning hours of Tuesday and know to have a completed report ready for public viewing on Wednesday. That must be one of the best police departments in the country.


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## shiftydrake (Dec 12, 2015)

TwoFiddyMile said:


> Let me take this opportunity to introduce you to medallion taxis kevin ko.
> Vetted, fingerprinted, far less ratio of perverts overall.


Well I agree with TwoFiddyMile I'm the regards of taking an actual taxi instead of taking the cheap..unlicensed..unregulated..new toy in the world..Uber if you would have taken a taxi You would have been driven by a properly vetted (background thoroughly checked through fingerprints) and properly insured driver that possess a chauffeurs driver license....
But alas you wanted to save a buck or two and I can say you actually "paid for what you got".......meaning cheap ride to be taken "for a ride"........welcome to Uber


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## Fuzzyelvis (Dec 7, 2014)

Kevin ko said:


> I'm on this forum to make it aware how horrible of a company uber is. You don't have to believe my story. I lived it and how dare you tell me to grow a pair. I didn't ask for it.


Most of us here are quite aware of what Uber is.

How old are you?


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## TwoFiddyMile (Mar 13, 2015)

And I AM sorry the OP got an impromptu skiing lesson.
Totally unacceptable.
I hope the perp does jail time.


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## Gung-Ho (Jun 2, 2015)

BTW OP.

Happy Birthday!


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## Fireguy50 (Nov 23, 2015)

*Happy Birthday! *


Kevin ko said:


> The first female I spoke with on Uber's emergency line laughed 3 times and did not take the situation seriously when I explicitly explained what had happened during the ride. She hung the phone up on me at the end. She said I was not being professional. I responded that the Uber driver was not professional and that I do not have to be after what I had gone through. The number I dialed provided on the Uber App is a safe line, like that of 911 for emergencies, but for Uber, where people call if horrendous and traumatizing incidents happen. Or if they feel others are in danger. I did not feel respected, listened to or safe during both calls.


I'm not trying to blame you. But society needs to realize customer service call lines are NOT 911.You *call 911*, Law Enforcement will deal with the driver and Uber. Take the earliest opportunity to dial 911 if you're in danger, don't wait to make a complaint later. Police will contact the Uber Law Enforcement Response Team [email protected]

Unless you wanted to tell internet stories, which my spider senses are tingling that this is a pre lawsuit post to get media attention.

However I will agree Uber background check is worthless if they actually are doing them, no vehicle inspection, safety is an illusion of Uber propaganda.


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## Fireguy50 (Nov 23, 2015)

SEAL Team 5 said:


> That's incredible!! A detective can start a felony investigation in the early morning hours of Tuesday and know to have a completed report ready for public viewing on Wednesday. That must be one of the best police departments in the country.


Doubtful, detectives don't work the night shift unless there is a murder. They'll pickup the rape kit from the hospital in a week. Official report would take weeks, unless it's a simple traffic moving infraction.


TwoFiddyMile said:


> Let me take this opportunity to introduce you to medallion taxis kevin ko.
> Vetted, fingerprinted, far less ratio of perverts overall.


Oh government regulations and accountability? Some people like to take risks!


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## SEAL Team 5 (Dec 19, 2015)

Fireguy50 said:


> Unless you wanted to tell internet stories, which my spider senses are tingling that this is a pre lawsuit post to get media attention.


I'm not a detective, but from OP's own original post. I hope your tingling spider senses can pick up on these clues.
1) Wants free Uber rides until next birthday (one year away).
2) He grabbed both my hands and put them on his genitals twice as I'm yelling at him to stop the car. (It takes two hands to grab both hands of an unwanted person. I'm 6'2" and would have trouble grabbing two arms of a child while driving.) Vehicle must of been at a complete stop.
3) OP has already determined self mental anguish and PTSD. 
4) ask OP to post copy of the report he is getting on Wednesday.


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## Fireguy50 (Nov 23, 2015)

SEAL Team 5 said:


> I'm not a detective, but from OP's own original post. I hope your tingling spider senses can pick up on these clues.
> 1) Wants free Uber rides until next birthday (one year away).
> 2) He grabbed both my hands and put them on his genitals twice as I'm yelling at him to stop the car. (It takes two hands to grab both hands of an unwanted person. I'm 6'2" and would have trouble grabbing two arms of a child while driving.) Vehicle must of been at a complete stop.
> 3) OP has already determined self mental anguish and PTSD.
> 4) ask OP to post copy of the report he is getting on Wednesday.


I have (some) training in detective work (lots of exposure & experience), but this isn't worth my time. Learned early you cannot understand illogical thinking or lies. And the internet is a waste of time, Not my problem.
Somebody with time and a disposable vehicle should try fighting an adult woman with both hands while driving, would be entertaining watching the car crash into a tree.

But
*Happy Birthday! *


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## wk1102 (Dec 25, 2015)

Call your local news station... uber hates bad press... 

Just be aware of defamation laws/ reproductions...


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## MSUGrad9902 (Jun 8, 2016)

Don't take this the wrong way, but if you were legitimately the victim of a felony sexual assault, then part of your "entitlements" as you call them would not include unlimited free uber rides for one year. If you are sure that this is uber's fault and their background checks are not adequate, why would you return to the service (even if it was free) and put yourself at risk like that? Why not demand cab-fare for a year plus money for therapy and grief counseling?

I'm not taking shots and I'm not saying that it's your fault, but something about this story just doesn't sit right.


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## the rebel (Jun 12, 2016)

SEAL Team 5 said:


> I'm not a detective, but from OP's own original post. I hope your tingling spider senses can pick up on these clues.
> 1) Wants free Uber rides until next birthday (one year away).
> 2) He grabbed both my hands and put them on his genitals twice as I'm yelling at him to stop the car. (It takes two hands to grab both hands of an unwanted person. I'm 6'2" and would have trouble grabbing two arms of a child while driving.) Vehicle must of been at a complete stop.
> 3) OP has already determined self mental anguish and PTSD.
> 4) ask OP to post copy of the report he is getting on Wednesday.


Agree, sorry but this whole post does not sound plausible, too many things wrong with the story.


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## UTX1 (Dec 7, 2015)

Happy Birthday Kevin.

Sorry to hear you didn't like your present.
Here at Uber we try to provide thoughtful and meaningful gifts
as a show of rider appreciation. Next time, we'll just send a card.


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## tohunt4me (Nov 23, 2015)

​


SEAL Team 5 said:


> I'm not a detective, but from OP's own original post. I hope your tingling spider senses can pick up on these clues.
> 1) Wants free Uber rides until next birthday (one year away).
> 2) He grabbed both my hands and put them on his genitals twice as I'm yelling at him to stop the car. (It takes two hands to grab both hands of an unwanted person. I'm 6'2" and would have trouble grabbing two arms of a child while driving.) Vehicle must of been at a complete stop.
> 3) OP has already determined self mental anguish and PTSD.
> 4) ask OP to post copy of the report he is getting on Wednesday.


Must have been a self driving car.


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## Tenzo (Jan 25, 2016)

Kevin ko said:


> I don't care about the lousy $4.00. *I want and am entitled to*:


No, no you are not.

Nice try to get free rides.


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## renbutler (Jul 25, 2015)

Without any evidence, it sounds like a case of he-said, he-said.

The only red flag for me is the admission that kevin is trying to expose Uber and get free stuff more than just seeking basic justice against an alleged perp.


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## Beur (Apr 14, 2015)

Free rides for a year or 6 figures in hush money from uber? Yeah I'll take free rides for a year.


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## Tenzo (Jan 25, 2016)

Reason I think this is made up.

1) Passenger had a horrible experience while riding in an Uber
2) As restitution, passenger wants to have more experiences in an Uber

Does not make sense.


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## Squirming Like A Toad (Apr 7, 2016)

Kevin ko said:


> I don't care about the lousy $4.00. I want and am entitled to:
> -the driver being accountable in a court of law for his disturbing sexual advances and unsolicited actions towards me.
> -an apology from the two reprehensible representatives that laughed and did not escalate or handle the situation as they should have.
> -an apology from Uber and unlimited rides until my next birthday provided by Uber with drivers who are not perverted and who do not have deviant, abnormal and smutty minds. Background check your drivers and screen them. They have a huge responsibility and should be screened and thoroughly checked:
> ...


You say "wrists," as in plural. And you also say he was driving. He could have been driving with one hand, but he was able to grab both wrists with the other hand and place them on his genitals? How do you know his genitals were erect, was he also exposing himself?

I've known some really big and strong guys but never one who was able to overpower another guy's wrists like this with one hand. Unless, of course, your wrists are very limp. Are you a homosexual? Why did he think that you would be willing to touch his genitals, rather than punch him in the parts and jump out of the car?

Can you tell by my tone that I don't believe your story? Make up a better one, if you are planning on suing Uber.


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## MrPincushion (Nov 2, 2015)

Priceless


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## chitownXdriver (Dec 24, 2014)

Squirming Like A Toad said:


> You say "wrists," as in plural. And you also say he was driving. He could have been driving with one hand, but he was able to grab both wrists with the other hand and place them on his genitals? How do you know his genitals were erect, was he also exposing himself?
> 
> I've known some really big and strong guys but never one who was able to overpower another guy's wrists like this with one hand. Unless, of course, your wrists are very limp. Are you a homosexual? Why did he think that you would be willing to touch his genitals, rather than punch him in the parts and jump out of the car?
> 
> Can you tell by my tone that I don't believe your story? Make up a better one, if you are planning on suing Uber.


Maybe the guy had multiple arms like goro from mortal Kombat


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## 58756 (May 30, 2016)

Guys, Now you know why i keep a hidden cam around.


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## Who35 (Nov 19, 2015)

Kevin ko said:


> Back seat was taken and I chose to sit in the front
> I did call 911 right after
> Male


So what happened after the police report was made? Man that is crazy! The sexual harassment thing is getting crazy. Women do it more but men are the most aggressive!


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## Who35 (Nov 19, 2015)

wk1102 said:


> Call your local news station... uber hates bad press...
> 
> Just be aware of defamation laws/ reproductions...


This is a great idea! They will probably do an interview with you. The police and Uber can ignore that.


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## ChortlingCrison (Mar 30, 2016)

Kevin ko said:


> I'm on this forum to make it aware how horrible of a company uber is. You don't have to believe my story. I lived it and how dare you tell me to grow a pair. I didn't ask for it.


I dare!!


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## Red Leader (Sep 4, 2016)

Well let's see......

How bout you post up the report? Redact your personal info. What jurisdiction was this in? I'm sure it was listed on a press release.

Or don't. It's ok.


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## SEAL Team 5 (Dec 19, 2015)

SamanthaJ said:


> Kevin, if you're not already off of this forum, do yourself a favor and get off NOW, don't turn back and seek proper help. All this forum will do is victimize you over and over again either intentional or out of plain ignorance.


That's because the intelligence within this forum can easily depict false statements. For proper compassion with people of his own liking may I suggest you tell the OP to be a guest on the Maury or Jerry Springer shows. I'm sure the audiences there will show much empathy and sensitivity. Must ask you a question. Please carefully read OP's original post again and then post if you believe his story.


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## Strange Fruit (Aug 10, 2016)

_Normal_ males have smutty minds. That's not perverted. It's nature. If you wear a short skirt and you get out of the car head first, I'm looking, just hoping. It's not my whole life, but in the moment, I'm hoping to see some panties, or even better, none. Why does Kevin sound like such a whiny *****? Seriously, I'm like the 10th person to notice, he grabbed both yr wrists while driving?! And if he was stopped, get out of the car if you're so scared. And what was happening in the back seat, which was occupied (Kevin said she* sat up front because the back seat was taken)? My female friend in SF, who is always afraid of stuff that could happen to women, takes Uber instead of taxis because she's had much better experiences (this is a city to city thing, and not relevant outside SF). She says she's had way too many intoxicated taxi drivers. My experience is too much crazy driving, and I'm terrified. Life is not safe. If Uber doesn't care this happened, then Kevin should just know that about Uber now, and move on with her life. I've had my crotch grabbed by a man in public. It was annoying but funny. I'm okay now. His hand isn't stuck there. Though to serious people it's _sexual_ _assault_. The thing is: I'm fine. My birthdays weren't ruined (well, I was too old to care about my birthday years ago, but whiny narcci *****es like Kevin, you know). 
And please, female pax, grab my crotch any time. It's ok. I won't tell. 
I seriously had a female pax tell me she got warned for sexual harassment because she propositioned a driver. What the hell is wrong with people? Not that that is the same as forcing a hand to a crotch, but god, just take your hand back and get out of the car the next time it stops. He may be a ****ed up person to act that way, but you weren't hurt. If _that_ traumatizes you, you already have problems. To have such an easy life, that _that_ is what you deem traumatic, is something to be grateful for.

*I just can't say 'he', despite the name Kevin


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## Strange Fruit (Aug 10, 2016)

*On my birthday *


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## Beretic (Jun 18, 2016)

Story is falsified. And if there is a lawsuit going on, and you try telling that to a judge you might get slammed with perjury.


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## SEAL Team 5 (Dec 19, 2015)

SamanthaJ said:


> Just ask yourself "what if this person is telling the truth?"
> The best thing is to let this thread die.


Then God help us!!!!
Threads like this bring out the humor in driving. Am I going to post that I have a charter to the Def Leopard concert tonight and that traffic is going to be miserable after the show. Am I going to post how cheap the fares are becoming only so we can have our driving abolished once self driving vehicles overtake the streets. Am I going to post how horrible the surge has become because of the over saturation of drivers. Those threads have been constantly running for over a year now. I've been in the fare for hire business a very long time and this forum allows for some humor and relaxation in a very competitive industry.


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## ChortlingCrison (Mar 30, 2016)

All kidding aside it looks like another noob (or perhaps a former member) just wanting TLC from this forum.


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## wk1102 (Dec 25, 2015)

Kevin ko said:


> I have no hesitations to exploit Uber


Yeah, that is obvious...


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## TwoFiddyMile (Mar 13, 2015)

I hope the OP is successful in his plan to rid the world of Uber, or at least get a year of free rides.


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## Fireguy50 (Nov 23, 2015)

Strange Fruit said:


> *On my birthday *


*Birthday handshake! LOL*


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## SEAL Team 5 (Dec 19, 2015)

[QUOTE="ChortlingCrison, post: 1500694, member: 50943just wanting TLC from this forum.[/QUOTE]
"Don't Go Chasing Waterfalls" they're just like rainbows. You'll never catch em. Especially in this forum.


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## SEAL Team 5 (Dec 19, 2015)

Fireguy50 said:


> *Birthday handshake! LOL*


I think it's more the double doozy "not once, but TWICE" Birthday handshake. Wasn't it only a few years ago a double back pat bro hug was the acceptable greeting for two males? Man, how things have changed.


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## Steven T. (Apr 28, 2016)

if u are suffering from ptsd why would you want free unlimited rides for a year from uber? u had a crazy life altering experience, and want better background checks for drivers... this won't change anytime soon... so you would still want free rides for a year from Uber.. ok...

if you have a problem with Uber, stop using it.

oh and sorry that he grabbed your wrist and tried putting it near his genitals. I guess u didn't have enough strength to not let him do that.. I would have at least defended myself, or punch him in face or something

nice story btw


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## SEAL Team 5 (Dec 19, 2015)

Fireguy50 said:


>


9800 Degree Fahrenheit. The album that started Bon Jovi. Old John did pretty good with his career. I think he owns or has ownership in a few professional sports teams in Colorado. And Ritchie Sambora was married to Heather Locklear. I know that Tommy Lee almost ruined her, but she was still one of the hottest women of the 80's. Thanks for video. It made me feel young for awhile.


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## UberHoax (Dec 9, 2015)

Kevin ko said:


> I don't care about the lousy $4.00. I want and am entitled to:
> -the driver being accountable in a court of law for his disturbing sexual advances and unsolicited actions towards me.
> -an apology from the two reprehensible representatives that laughed and did not escalate or handle the situation as they should have.
> -an apology from Uber and unlimited rides until my next birthday provided by Uber with drivers who are not perverted and who do not have deviant, abnormal and smutty minds. Background check your drivers and screen them. They have a huge responsibility and should be screened and thoroughly checked:
> ...


Are u gay? If not male on male as u describe is so rare. once they investigate, if this driver has a history of this you have a case. if there is no history they will just put it in both of your records for future incidents.

there are a lot of odd uber drivers out there.

there are also a lot of pax just trying to make a quick buck from Uber thru a lawsuit


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## Tenderloin (Sep 5, 2016)

SEAL Team 5 said:


> That's incredible!! A detective can start a felony investigation in the early morning hours of Tuesday and know to have a completed report ready for public viewing on Wednesday. That must be one of the best police departments in the country.


Good point. Once i had to wait for police report for car accident it took them 2 weeks


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## UTX1 (Dec 7, 2015)

Has anyone seen Kevin ? I have something I want to show him 

Yeeeeeeeee !


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## SEAL Team 5 (Dec 19, 2015)

Tenderloin said:


> Good point. Once i had to wait for police report for car accident it took them 2 weeks


Remember that game show from the 70's called "To Tell the Truth". I think this forum would have made a great panel for questioning.


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## UTX1 (Dec 7, 2015)

SEAL Team 5 said:


> Remember that game show from the 70's called "To Tell the Truth". I think this forum would have made a great panel for questioning.


Panelist: '...okay are you in the transportation industry ?"
Contestant:" yes"
Panelist: "...can you drive with one hand ?"
Contestant: "yes"
Panelist:" ...can you drive with NO hands ? I mean, without either hand touching the steering wheel ?"
Contestant: "yes I can. I do this frequently when I'm grabbing someone's wrists.."
Panelist: "...hmmmmm ? You got me. What the hell do you do ?"


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## Stray cat (May 28, 2016)

SEAL Team 5 said:


> Remember that game show from the 70's called "To Tell the Truth". I think this forum would have made a great panel for questioning.


"That's one down and we move onto Peggy Cass..."


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## Tenderloin (Sep 5, 2016)

UberHoax said:


> Are u gay? If not male on male as u describe is so rare. once they investigate, if this driver has a history of this you have a case. if there is no history they will just put it in both of your records for future incidents.
> 
> there are a lot of odd uber drivers out there.
> 
> there are also a lot of pax just trying to make a quick buck from Uber thru a lawsuit


Lmao. What if that driver is married


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## SEAL Team 5 (Dec 19, 2015)

UTX1 said:


> Panelist: "...hmmmmm ? You got me. What the hell do you do ?"


Contestant: "...I'm Kevin Ko's fantasy Uber driver."


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## UTX1 (Dec 7, 2015)

SEAL Team 5 said:


> Contestant: "...I'm Kevin Ko's fantasy Uber driver."


That would play better if it aired on "I've Got A Secret"


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## UTX1 (Dec 7, 2015)

You know what guys ? Don't knock it 'till you try it.

I'm grabbing both of my own wrists right now and I gotta say,
It ain't half bad ! I might just take a ride later on tonight....


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## Red Leader (Sep 4, 2016)

I can't believe this hasn't been posted yet.....


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## Red Leader (Sep 4, 2016)

SamanthaJ said:


> I can now understand why the Uber elite have outsourced their customer service to the poorest parts of India.


You will be assimilated. Resistance is futile.

Besides, we have the best cookies.


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## Red Leader (Sep 4, 2016)

SamanthaJ said:


> People on this forum that I thought were standup men are
> 
> Hey Red, I can appreciate your response. You are obviously a stand up man. Please disregard anything that I might write. Just waiting for the little ***** moderators to cut me off.


I'm on your side. Let's meet up at Disneyland, The happiest place on earth. I will bring a few less than desirables and we can plot their demise at the it's a small world water ride.

Mickey can help out.


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## UTX1 (Dec 7, 2015)

Anyone remember this little ditty from Wang Chung:

Dance Hall Days (1984)
_
Take your baby by the wrist....and in her mouth, an amethyst.._

OMG ! What a bunch of sick perverts !!! This is horrifying !  <---there's 3 of them !


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## UTX1 (Dec 7, 2015)

SamanthaJ said:


> You are the creepiest of them all. I'm so sick of your poorly scripted responses. Do everyone a favor and stay in Texas.


I thought you were gone. Sorry I'll wait for you to leave...


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## UTX1 (Dec 7, 2015)

Are you gone yet ?


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## Fuzzyelvis (Dec 7, 2014)

UTX1 said:


> Panelist: '...okay are you in the transportation industry ?"
> Contestant:" yes"
> Panelist: "...can you drive with one hand ?"
> Contestant: "yes"
> ...


I once rented a room from a friend's mother. She would drive with a cup of coffee in one hand, cigarette in the other, and elbows on the steering wheel.

She'd be about 75 now. I really hope she's alive and an Uber driver. I'd love to read about her on this forum one day.


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## Fuzzyelvis (Dec 7, 2014)

SamanthaJ said:


> OMG!!! I thought I reached the lowest point of my life by becoming an Uber driver. I now realize I was wrong. I reached an all time low by even joining this forum. Not only the mentality of most of the members, but the mentality of the moderators speak volumes!!!


You just joined. You ain't seen nothin' yet!

I'm female, btw.


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## UTX1 (Dec 7, 2015)

What the hell are you two doing over there anyway ? 

I'm trying to listen to see if Samantha is still here and you guys keep making that
squeeky-squeeky noise with that funny looking purple toy. Did you get that on Amazon ?
It looks like some kind of freeky shi.t from Amazon. 

Just hold on a second....I think she's leaving.... Shhhh ! I'm trying to listen...


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## UTX1 (Dec 7, 2015)

Nope, she's still here..... 

I checked under the thread. Sometimes they hide under there.

Well then, I'm going off to do "something creepy", I guess....

BBL


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## SEAL Team 5 (Dec 19, 2015)

SamanthaJ said:


> OMG!!! I thought I reached the lowest point of my life by becoming an Uber driver. I now realize I was wrong. I reached an all time low by even joining this forum. Not only the mentality of most of the members, but the mentality of the moderators speak volumes!!!


I take it that you weren't invited to many birthday parties as a child. Sometimes you have to laugh. You should try it once in a while, it feels terrific. Please don't tell me that you are still naive enough to believe OP's story. On the other hand you were naive enough with Uber's propaganda to become a partner. If we keep coaxing posters on obvious misrepresentations then the next thread we read will be "a dope dealer left 30 kilos in my back seat, what should I do?" or "high profile athlete wants me to lie to his wife" or "I just made $4300 last week with Uber". Get the point. There was a poster on here a few months back doctoring up his screenshots of payouts to claim he was a consistent $2k a week driver. He finally confessed.


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## Red Leader (Sep 4, 2016)

Fuzzyelvis said:


> I once rented a room from a friend's mother. She would drive with a cup of coffee in one hand, cigarette in the other, and elbows on the steering wheel.
> 
> She'd be about 75 now. I really hope she's alive and an Uber driver. I'd love to read about her on this forum one day.


You could always tell my grandfathers silhouette when he was driving or riding in a vehicle. He was the one holding the highball glass just above the seat.


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## Red Leader (Sep 4, 2016)

SEAL Team 5 said:


> I take it that you weren't invited to many birthday parties as a child. Sometimes you have to laugh. You should try it once in a while, it feels terrific. Please don't tell me that you are still naive enough to believe OP's story. On the other hand you were naive enough with Uber's propaganda to become a partner. If we keep coaxing posters on obvious misrepresentations then the next thread we read will be "a dope dealer left 30 kilos in my back seat, what should I do?" or "high profile athlete wants me to lie to his wife" or "I just made $4300 last week with Uber". Get the point. There was a poster on here a few months back doctoring up his screenshots of payouts to claim he was a consistent $2k a week driver. He finally confessed.


Yea...but in his defense he only confess cause you threaten to take him swimming at Disneyworld.


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## SEAL Team 5 (Dec 19, 2015)

Fuzzyelvis said:


> I once rented a room from a friend's mother. She would drive with a cup of coffee in one hand, cigarette in the other, and elbows on the steering wheel.
> 
> She'd be about 75 now. I really hope she's alive and an Uber driver. I'd love to read about her on this forum one day.


That ain't nothin, when I was 14 and stealing the old man's car I could steer with my knee, break up the bud and roll a joint going down the freeway.


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## SEAL Team 5 (Dec 19, 2015)

Red Leader said:


> Yea...but in his defense he only confess cause you threaten to take him swimming at Disneyworld.


**********? I thought only SEC fans like the ones from Bama and Tennessee knew about that one. Gators leave no DNA behind, good call!!!


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## Fireguy50 (Nov 23, 2015)

SEAL Team 5 said:


> I think it's more the double doozy "not once, but TWICE" Birthday handshake. Wasn't it only a few years ago a double back pat bro hug was the acceptable greeting for two males? Man, how things have changed.


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## SEAL Team 5 (Dec 19, 2015)

Fireguy50 said:


>


Damn Bro, thank you. I shamefully admit to breaking some of those rules. BUT NEVER THE URNAL HIGH FIVE. I was afraid of the "turn too much golden shower on the shoe" thing. I can't believe this thread has blossomed into this. I have a charter at a concert and still have about 2 hours before pickup. I love the humor and fun times. You know who liked you a whole lot was FAC. Sorry we don't hear from her as much anymore. Have yourself a great night and always be careful driving out there. Thanks again for your good humor.


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## Fireguy50 (Nov 23, 2015)

UTX1 said:


> ...okay are you in the transportation industry ?"


_Extremely_ part time


UTX1 said:


> ...can you drive with one hand ?"


Easily


UTX1 said:


> ...can you drive with NO hands ? I mean, without either hand touching the steering wheel ?"


Yes, I have extremely long... _legs!  _I can use a knee on the steering wheel for miles on the highway without any distractions or messy fast food.


UTX1 said:


> "...while grabbing someone's wrists..."


*WTF* is with this creepy question, I didn't sign up for funny business! Just simple Uber driver to get rich.  I just said no distractions.  Playing slap hands is going to get us killed while driving , even if I've got my hands on the wheel.
*NO SLAPPING THE DRIVER or touching my pocket monster! *


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## Fireguy50 (Nov 23, 2015)

SEAL Team 5 said:


> Damn Bro, thank you. I shamefully admit to breaking some of those rules. BUT NEVER THE URNAL HIGH FIVE. I was afraid of the "turn too much golden shower on the shoe" thing. I can't believe this thread has blossomed into this. I have a charter at a concert and still have about 2 hours before pickup. I love the humor and fun times. You know who liked you a whole lot was FAC. Sorry we don't hear from her as much anymore. Have yourself a great night and always be careful driving out there. Thanks again for your good humor.


Yeah, FAC was smarter than us and put the Uber app in the trash bin. We're still ÜBER servants


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## Red Leader (Sep 4, 2016)

Fireguy50 said:


> _Extremely_ part time
> 
> Easily
> 
> ...


Pfft....please.....

With all the safety devices built into cars these days you can pretty much walk away from most any accident caused while giving your passenger a a smack bottom.


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## UTX1 (Dec 7, 2015)

Fuzzyelvis said:


> I once rented a room from a friend's mother. She would drive with a cup of coffee in one hand,
> cigarette in the other, and elbows on the steering wheel. She'd be about 75 now.


I knew a lady from Mabank, Texas who fits that description to a T.
This was many moons ago and she and her old man would invite me out
to Cedar Creek Lake to go fishing and skinny dippin'. She smoked one after the other
(winstons) but didn't drink alcohol, only coffee. Hubby drank like a fish though
so, she did the driving. He'd pass out and we would go swimming . Wild days.


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## UTX1 (Dec 7, 2015)

Red Leader said:


> They charge extra for that in SF.
> 
> Except during the Folsom st fair where they Rafael off one of those a day.
> 
> It's coming up. You should fly out.


Perfect ! I was just thinking to myself, " where could I get molested ?"

I'll check Trivago for west coast flights.....



SEAL Team 5 said:


> I heard this driver is so good that you can still get spit on your sack while ordering
> the triple chubby with cheese at your local drive thru.


I've been trying to cut carbs lately....


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## SEAL Team 5 (Dec 19, 2015)

Fireguy50 said:


> Use proper steering wheelLOCK hands a 9 & 3, never move them if your on a race track or serious about driving. Allow your arms to crossover and lock when turning, don't readjust! If you have to steer greater than that, you're OVER driving the car.


I would never disrespect your post but I must disagree with this one. Back in the late 70's we had something called the standing 360. This is when we would power brake to get the RPM's up to actually do a 360 with the vehicle and the front drivers tire could not break the 36" radius. My older brother had a '70 Challenger R/T with a 427 Hemi. After getting the rear tires smoking you would release the brake and hand over hand the steering wheel. I'm sure glad that my parents didn't have Uber's technology with spying back then. Just like Charles Barkley said "I AM NOT A ROLE MODEL".


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## Fireguy50 (Nov 23, 2015)

SEAL Team 5 said:


> I would never disrespect your post but I must disagree with this one. Back in the late 70's we had something called the standing 360. This is when we would power brake to get the RPM's up to actually do a 360 with the vehicle and the front drivers tire could not break the 36" radius. My older brother had a '70 Challenger R/T with a 427 Hemi. After getting the rear tires smoking you would release the brake and hand over hand the steering wheel. I'm sure glad that my parents didn't have Uber's technology with spying back then. Just like Charles Barkley said "I AM NOT A ROLE MODEL".


That sounds more like drifting or Gymkhana, they have special steering racks that can turn tighter and HYDRAULIC hand breaks. I'd love a Hydraulic hand break, oh the naughty things I could do! 
Steering is mostly done with the breaks and accelerator, they let the wheel spin loosely in their hand, oh fun! 
And that's EXTREMELY advanced driving


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## SEAL Team 5 (Dec 19, 2015)

Fireguy50 said:


> That sounds more like drifting or Gymkhana, they have special steering racks that can turn tighter and HYDRAULIC hand breaks. I'd love a Hydraulic hand break, oh the naughty things I could do!
> Steering is mostly done with the breaks and accelerator, they let the wheel spin loosely in their hand, oh fun!
> And that's EXTREMELY advanced driving


Dude, this is over 40 years ago. Girls didn't even know what a Brazilian wax was back then.


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## SEAL Team 5 (Dec 19, 2015)

Fireguy50 said:


> LOL there was nothing sexual or human in that post. LOL it was all modified vehicle equipment and usage. Although I don't doubt your claims of body hair in the 70's, but I hadn't hit puberty then.


I love you my brother. Damn, if only the whole country was as joyful as this. Just think if Travis was more gainful towards customer service than he was towards world domination. Uber would be the best thing since indoor plumbing. Every customer happy and every partner happy.


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## Fireguy50 (Nov 23, 2015)

SEAL Team 5 said:


> I love you my brother. Damn, if only the whole country was as joyful as this. Just think if Travis was more gainful towards customer service than he was towards world domination. Uber would be the best thing since indoor plumbing. Every customer happy and every partner happy.


I love you too, should we go find Kevin for a group hug, and hand sflapping?


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## ptuberx (Jun 28, 2016)

The OP post doesn't pass the smell test. Why not call 911 first before Uber? Requesting free rides for a year... if you were that traumatized by Uber, why would you want free services from them?

I'm not buying it. I say this for a reason: Their are legit cases out there of abuse that occur, and do not get limelight like this. If this isn't real, it is a slap in the face to REAL victims of abuse.


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## SEAL Team 5 (Dec 19, 2015)

Fireguy50 said:


> I love you too, should we go find Kevin for a group hug, and hand sflapping?


When I read your post I was laughing so hard I almost threw up my What A Burger. I'll pass on the hand slapping for tonight. It's close to our 2am bar closing time. I'm sure my bimbos will be out soon.


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## SEAL Team 5 (Dec 19, 2015)

You sensed it and you stated it for real. Some posters just want attention. Just like Mr. Trump.


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## SEAL Team 5 (Dec 19, 2015)

Fireguy50 said:


> Dash camera should always be running for that action!


Sorry brother, with some of the people I drive that would not be good. I'll give you a hint who I have tonight. Two of the girls have husbands that were on the '96 ASU Nat'l Championship team that beat Tiger Woods and Stanford along with UNLV. No more hints.


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## SEAL Team 5 (Dec 19, 2015)

SEAL Team 5 said:


> Sorry brother, with some of the people I drive that would not be good. I'll give you a hint who I have tonight. Two of the girls have husbands that were on the '96 ASU Nat'l Championship team that beat Tiger Woods and Stanford along with UNLV. No more hints.


4 cars deep at Federico's drive thru. The hot blonde looks a little pale. Doors are unlocked, windows are down and already told the girlfriend in the backseat that her friend doesn't look to good.


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## shiftydrake (Dec 12, 2015)

Ok I guess I was sleeping and got to the party late what did I miss? I read hot blonde in her 40s and something about a group hug......wtf did I miss?


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## SEAL Team 5 (Dec 19, 2015)

shiftydrake said:


> Ok I guess I was sleeping and got to the party late what did I miss? I read hot blonde in her 40s and something about a group hug......wtf did I miss?


Not much brother. I just got home but had a group of Pro Golfer's wives at the Def Leopard concert and I thought one of them was going to puke. False alarm, but they did tip decently. This post was awesome. Probably going to fade away by tomorrow.


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## shiftydrake (Dec 12, 2015)

Aww man....oh well hey let's bring up Bubbles. The elephant again I miss him he was a good elephant lol if this thread is dying...


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