# Ünited We Stand



## Who is John Galt? (Sep 28, 2016)

.
Well it is a rare opportunity indeed when we are offered such a seat at the table. The head table. Or perhaps even the board table. Yes, unbelievable as it may seem; the world's greatest and most innovative technology corporate - our beloved Über - has invited select drivers, their partners, lovers, mothers and aunties to be involved in, it would seem; to be the most momentous survey since the famous Nielsen Poll ratings for each Prime Minister, which found that Kevin Rudd was Australia's worst Prime Minister by a country mile.

I know.....I know...to this day, Julia Gillard disputes this result and maintains that she is in fact the winner in being Australia's worst Prime Minister. However, the fact remains - Kevin Rudd won it twice!









The 'real Julia' Gillard - pictured after being informed that she was runner-up to Kevin Rudd 
as Australia's worst ever Prime Minister.

The survey is I believe, of far, far greater significance than some meaningless referendum about same sex marriage. I mean seriously; who wouldn't want to have the same amount of sex after marriage as before? It's a no-brainer. I would not be at all surprised if Über has released the survey at this time to derail the government's same sex marriage survey.

Obviously, sly ol' Übers believes the more sex the better; the more little Über ants produced and indoctrinated with the Über ethos the better. I mean, you only have to look at what is going on in Queensland where it seems the drivers are now paid to cross breed with the pax.

Now, the survey to which I refer transcends all other surveys, in that it is non political, non gender, non sexual orientation and nonsense. Make no mistake, this survey gives us all, a unique opportunity. I seriously doubt that there will be anything of this importance and consequence again. Not in our lifetime, that is for sure.

The survey to which I am referring is:
.









*Improve the Momentum experience.*

Just think about that for a minute......pick each of the words and savor them. In your mind, think of them like a sip of the very finest Sth Australian cab sav or shiraz swirled in your mouth with which you linger and luxuriate over and indulge every taste sensation, before finally succumbing to its brilliance and then experiencing its fabulous aftertaste.

The 'Momentum Experience'. The sheer utter panache of those two words co-joined. We are so very, very lucky. To able to open our eyes every morning and to realise that, once again, we are a privileged member, an integral team player in the monumental 'Momentum Experience'. Every morning, I am truly humbled to be a part of this brotherhood.

And, as if that wasn't enough; now I and many other members of the Über elite, are being offered the opportunity to participate in the actual improvement of this drivers' fellowship. To have this honor bestowed upon me - well, I am almost speechless.

I am waiting to receive a response to my email to 'Huffy' (Arianna Huffington) as to whether this is a broad survey or whether it is one where the board is reaching out solely to yours truly. In the meantime let me say this: 
I believe every driver, and I mean every - full time, part time, casual, retired, comatose, drunk, sober, you name it - every driver, who participates in this survey has this one occasion, this tiny window of golden opportunity to improve our lot.

I therefore believe we must speak with one voice. One, and only one!

My proposal and recommendation is that Momentum can, and will only be improved by the introduction of more badgers! As every driver worth camel's spit is aware, the honour and recognition; not to mention the feeling of downright joy and eternal glory; that would come from additional badgers would far, far surpass any financial or other benefit. We need to take a very serious and organised stand on this. The selection of nine badgers is simply not enough!!









*
*
*Badgers, Badgers, Badgers, Oi Oi Oi !!*


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## Cornuto (Aug 2, 2017)

Badges... about as useful as winning the Jackpot on my casino gold app...


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## UberDriverAU (Nov 4, 2015)

A 25% discount on Uber's fees, now that would be useful.


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## prk (Jul 9, 2015)

Who is John Galt? said:


> To have this honor bestowed upon me - *well, I am almost speechless*.


Yeah, like that'll be the day


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## ChortlingCrison (Mar 30, 2016)

prk said:


> Yeah, like that'll be the day


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## Lowestformofwit (Sep 2, 2016)

ChortlingCrison said:


>


Jeez, she was gorgeous in her early years!
Particularly on one backlit album cover photo.


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## Who is John Galt? (Sep 28, 2016)

prk said:


> Yeah, like that'll be the day


Our day will come, Babe 
.


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