# Conversation starters



## denverxdriver (Sep 26, 2015)

I have been driving for about two years off and on and am sick of the same ol conversations with pax.

Any good conversation starter tips out there? Would like to have a chat with the PAX without seeming too pushy.


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## Cableguynoe (Feb 14, 2017)

Trump is really doing some great things huh? I'm excited about our country's future. What are your thoughts? 

Or 

I can't wait until they build that wall. They should put one on the Canadian border also.

These 2 have been successful for me. But you're mileage (and tips) may vary


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## MadTownUberD (Mar 11, 2017)

Cableguynoe said:


> Trump is really doing some great things huh? I'm excited about our country's future. What are your thoughts?
> 
> Or
> 
> ...


ROFL

That's a sure way to get one starred in Madison Wisconsin


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## PrestonT (Feb 15, 2017)

denverxdriver said:


> I have been driving for about two years off and on and am sick of the same ol conversations with pax.
> 
> Any good conversation starter tips out there? Would like to have a chat with the PAX without seeming too pushy.


"Hey, honey, are those real or augmented?"


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## MadTownUberD (Mar 11, 2017)

denverxdriver said:


> I have been driving for about two years off and on and am sick of the same ol conversations with pax.
> 
> Any good conversation starter tips out there? Would like to have a chat with the PAX without seeming too pushy.


"Your eyes look so beautiful in the soft glow of your smartphone screen."

Okay time to get serious. I like to ask people from out of town if they like beer and then I suggest all the local breweries in/near Madison, and what styles each one specializes in. Then if they show interest I tell them about batches of beer I've made and the Hops I grow in my backyard. Talking about yummy beer often puts people, at least guys, in a good mood. 1 passenger actually gave me a Homebrew as a tip after we had a conversation about home brewing techniques.


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## Kodyhead (May 26, 2015)

Have you ever heard of the bangbus?


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## JimKE (Oct 28, 2016)

Kodyhead said:


> Have you ever heard of the bangbus?


Is that sort of a PoolXL?

On a more serious note...

I like to ask riders how long they've been riding with Uber. And how they like it. And also whether they ride Uber exclusively or if they have other transportation sources like trains, buses, camel caravans, etc. And I ask why they don't just buy a car to use as regular full-time transportation.

I sometimes ask if they like Lyft better because of the tipping option in the app.

If they are traveling alone on X or regular Lyft, I ask it they've ever had any life-threatening experiences as a Pool/Line rider.


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## MadTownUberD (Mar 11, 2017)

Straight down the gutter. 

Hey this thread should be Featured (despite not being OP'd by CableGuyNoe).


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## Grahamcracker (Nov 2, 2016)

denverxdriver said:


> I have been driving for about two years off and on and am sick of the same ol conversations with pax.
> 
> Any good conversation starter tips out there? Would like to have a chat with the PAX without seeming too pushy.


Did you hear about that 16 year old girl with a machete?

Oh, too soon?


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## Cableguynoe (Feb 14, 2017)

MadTownUberD said:


> Straight down the gutter.
> 
> Hey this thread should be Featured (despite not being OP'd by CableGuyNoe).


You mean being post #2 doesn't count?

I wonder if there's a way to bump the op?


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## MadTownUberD (Mar 11, 2017)

Grahamcracker said:


> Did you hear about that 16 year old girl with a machete?
> 
> Oh, too soon?


That belongs on the Dank Uber Memes Facebook page (if one exists). Travis and Zuckerberg, sittin' in a tree...


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## Cableguynoe (Feb 14, 2017)

Grahamcracker said:


> Did you hear about that 16 year old girl with a machete?
> 
> Oh, too soon?


Ha!
I'm driving tonight for first time since this happened. Are pax bringing it up?


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## MadTownUberD (Mar 11, 2017)

Cableguynoe said:


> Ha!
> I'm driving tonight for first time since this happened. Are pax bringing it up?


Dunno but I am re evaluating my CCW driving policy. Then again I'm probably worth more to my family dead than in prison.

Edit for Uber management trolls:. "CCW" means "counterclockwise", as in making only left turns.


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## Kodyhead (May 26, 2015)

JimKE said:


> Is that sort of a PoolXL?


I like your style!!

What you mean xl car or xl girls, either way i am in


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## Grahamcracker (Nov 2, 2016)

Cableguynoe said:


> Ha!
> I'm driving tonight for first time since this happened. Are pax bringing it up?


No, no one has brought it up to me. I didn't see it on any national news, just Uber news. Did you see it on anything national? I think it ahould have.


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## cdm813 (Jan 9, 2017)

If someone brings up the constant string of people attacking Uber drivers I think I'm going to say "Yeah, it's time for drivers to start attacking passengers for once. You with me?"


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## Cableguynoe (Feb 14, 2017)

cdm813 said:


> If someone brings up the constant string of people attacking Uber drivers I think I'm going to say "Yeah, it's time for drivers to start attacking passengers for once. You with me?"


Bahahahaha. Now that's funny!!!


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## Jagent (Jan 29, 2017)

"You know, there's this new reality TV show coming out. It's all about Uber rides and wild riders."

....then, kind of point to the dashcam....

"Only the craziest rides make the cut."

...


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## Spotscat (May 8, 2017)

MadTownUberD said:


> Dunno but I am re evaluating my CCW driving policy. Then again I'm probably worth more to my family dead than in prison.
> 
> Edit for Uber management trolls:. "CCW" means "counterclockwise", as in making only left turns.












Rims. CCW makes rims. He is reevaluating his policy about driving on stock wheels or CCW rims.

Some people like the 45-style rims, I personally prefer the 357-style rims.


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## MadTownUberD (Mar 11, 2017)

Spotscat said:


> View attachment 125857
> 
> 
> Rims. CCW makes rims. He is reevaluating his policy about driving on stock wheels or CCW rims.
> ...


The styles that are available to me are 380's, 9's, and 40's. And I like the HP variant of each...you know, "high polish".


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## RideshareSpectrum (May 12, 2017)

My day has been good, thanks. Ive been driving for like 19 hours straight without a break and was omw to the fwy home when you pinged. I figured 'F#@k it. Whats one more ride?'.


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## Stripzip (Mar 16, 2017)

Jagent said:


> "You know, there's this new reality TV show coming out. It's all about Uber rides and wild riders."
> 
> ....then, kind of point to the dashcam....
> 
> ...


My drunkest riders would take that as a challenge! Nope... Not on graveyards in Vegas! (but I do like your style!)


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## Coachman (Sep 22, 2015)

I usually talk about my 88 y/o mother and all her health problems.


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## DocT (Jul 16, 2015)

MadTownUberD said:


> The styles that are available to me are 380's, 9's, and 40's. And I like the HP variant of each...you know, "high polish".


My style is more German... S. Sauer.
Also, 1911 was a good year.


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## Elmo Burrito (Feb 3, 2017)

Sorry I'm supposed to have my glasses on when I drive. 

How many tats do you have? Can I see them when we get to your destination?

Is that a cop car behind me?

What the he'll is that smell? Dam catalytic converter is acting up again!

I hope that was a dog I just ran over!


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## DocT (Jul 16, 2015)

"Good Day/Evening.... _MY PRECIOUS_!"


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## xlr8ed (Apr 11, 2016)

I usually wear a surgical mask and tell pax I do it to protect them.


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## UsedToBeAPartner (Sep 19, 2016)

1) The app says I am picking up Heidi but you look like a guy!
2) Did you vote for this moron Trump?
3) Is that thing on your face normal?
4) Wow, I really didn't think you would even fit in my car!
5) That's a very short dress and it really makes me hot!
6) Would you consider inviting me in for a nightcap when I get you home?
7) That's a lot of groceries. There must be a dozen folks living with you.
8) My favorite passengers are blonds. Do you keep yourself shaved?
9) Is your boyfriend treating you well?
10) OK, I think you get the idea!


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## vegetto (Dec 21, 2015)

I have a sign up , saying please no questions about uber ATALL. Tired of them really. Anything else on your mind please fire away ( lol happy face) it works , get some laughs


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## dirtylee (Sep 2, 2015)

UsedToBeAPartner said:


> 9) Is your boyfriend treating you well?


Never ask this. The answer is always he could be doing better. You will however hear about everything he has or hasn't done.


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## darkshy77 (Sep 28, 2015)

denverxdriver said:


> I have been driving for about two years off and on and am sick of the same ol conversations with pax.
> 
> Any good conversation starter tips out there? Would like to have a chat with the PAX without seeming too pushy.


Have I told you about my Lord and savior.... Quite rid the rest of the trip


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## Cableguynoe (Feb 14, 2017)

darkshy77 said:


> Have I told you about my Lord and savior....


HAHA!
How about "Do you mind if we pray together before I start the trip?"


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## darkshy77 (Sep 28, 2015)

Cableguynoe said:


> HAHA!
> How about "Do you mind if we pray together before I start the trip?"


Dear Jepus thanks for helping avoid my 3 DUI this month. You are right pills are better to use when driving.


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## GaryWinFlorida (Jan 3, 2016)

I have my canned lines ...

If it's their first Uber ride:

_Don't worry, I sometimes go four or five rides without a fatality.
_​If they say they took an Uber because they don't like to drive at night:

_Sure, make me drive!
_​If it's a very, very old lady:

_Watch your hands! No funny business!
_​In response to "how long have you been driving for Uber":

_(thick, bassy ******* accent) Since I got out ...
_​Each one gets a laugh every time and breaks the ice.


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## Certain Judgment (Dec 2, 2016)

Hey there. Hey. Hello! HEY, PHONE FACE!!! I am trying to talk to you! Stupid millenials...

This car is not a safe space.

I have a Square credit card reader now, so not carrying cash is no longer an acceptable excuse for being a cheap bastard.


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## Steveyoungerthanmontana (Nov 19, 2016)

denverxdriver said:


> I have been driving for about two years off and on and am sick of the same ol conversations with pax.
> 
> Any good conversation starter tips out there? Would like to have a chat with the PAX without seeming too pushy.


I feel exactly the same way. I try to end conversations as quickly as possible so that I don't have the same conversation I've already had a hundred times. The good thing about it, is that customers don't want to talk that much as they use to anyways. Customers and drivers are both over it. They hate us, we hate them, and we tolerate each other for as long as the ride lasts.


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## tohunt4me (Nov 23, 2015)

Cableguynoe said:


> Ha!
> I'm driving tonight for first time since this happened. Are pax bringing it up?


Most Pax never heard about it.
Or the 17 shootings this weekend in my city.
13 shootings in one day.
Including 2 armored car employees during a daylight robbery attempt.

I keep wondering if it was the guy i gave a ride to work to 2 weeks ago.
He got in my car carrying his bullet proof vest.

Often riders are totaly unaware of issues or even their own surroundings.
Especially tourists. Tourists are over 60% of My rides.

They are killing armed guards in my city.
Yet Uber wont allow drivers protection ?

Hell the Hoodlums stabbed one to death then THREW HIM AWAY the other day !
Only reason he was discovered was because the garbage can was so heavy.

90 cents a mile
18 cents a minute
MINUS 25%
NO NEED TO TIP !


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## dirtylee (Sep 2, 2015)

darkshy77 said:


> Have I told you about my Lord and savior.... Quite rid the rest of the trip





Cableguynoe said:


> HAHA!
> How about "Do you mind if we pray together before I start the trip?"


That's how I get tips in TX. Also faux news on radio all the time. I'm starting to believe the "facts"


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## 7Miles (Dec 17, 2014)

Put sign up in your car "I go the extra mile".
That will start them talking.


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## tohunt4me (Nov 23, 2015)

Cableguynoe said:


> HAHA!
> How about "Do you mind if we pray together before I start the trip?"


What language do you pray in when you say that ?


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## elelegido (Sep 24, 2014)

"So... have you ever been locked up in a secure unit?"


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## joffie (Jan 31, 2016)

"been with your boyfriend long?"


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## UberEricLong (Oct 28, 2015)

Lol, conversation starters... who says I want a conversation with pax. Get in the back, shut up and dont puke.


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## TheRealGnash (Jan 6, 2017)

Grahamcracker said:


> No, no one has brought it up to me. I didn't see it on any national news, just Uber news. Did you see it on anything national? I think it ahould have.


I saw it on yahoo and MSN.


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## Brannens (Feb 8, 2016)

MadTownUberD said:


> ROFL
> 
> That's a sure way to get one starred in Madison Wisconsin


Try it in Miami, you will get shit lmao


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## Wardell Curry (Jul 9, 2016)

"I've only been driving for 3 days so I may or may not miss a few turns but please don't downrate me,bro." And it's all downhill from there.


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## Mike Flynn (Feb 16, 2017)

denverxdriver said:


> I have been driving for about two years off and on and am sick of the same ol conversations with pax.
> 
> Any good conversation starter tips out there? Would like to have a chat with the PAX without seeming too pushy.


last passenger partied like it was nineteen ninety nine, is the weed smell too much? 
what about this smell..................


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## LVC (Jun 28, 2016)

Keep a shovel, pick axe, rope and duct tape in the trunk and stage at the airport. Always get passengers with luggage, when they see those items in the trunk it is a great convertsation starter.



Spotscat said:


> View attachment 125857
> 
> 
> Rims. CCW makes rims. He is reevaluating his policy about driving on stock wheels or CCW rims.
> ...





MadTownUberD said:


> The styles that are available to me are 380's, 9's, and 40's. And I like the HP variant of each...you know, "high polish".


My 45-style rims.


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## Snowblind (Apr 14, 2017)




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## Charismatic Megafauna (Apr 3, 2017)

denverxdriver said:


> I have been driving for about two years off and on and am sick of the same ol conversations with pax.
> 
> Any good conversation starter tips out there? Would like to have a chat with the PAX without seeming too pushy.


How 'bout them Dodgers?


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## avega2792 (May 29, 2017)

This one always works "your hair smells different when you're awake."

But seriously, I have tons of crap to talk about. Usually me being in nursing school, or my other part time job as at a boxing gym are good ones that come up. When people learn that I'm in nursing they just light up and practically do all the talking, which is great because I'm a textbook introvert and hate small talk.


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## Uberdriver2710 (Jul 15, 2015)

Politics and religion are always a good idea! Lolz!


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## TwoFiddyMile (Mar 13, 2015)

Weather. Music. Non political current events.

Now, understand I'm a master cabbie
So occasionally it's "do you know, this morning I had to stop in the MIDDLE OF THE STREET for a herd of armadillos who were jaywalking ™?".


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## lesh11 (Jan 4, 2017)

My favorite:

What would be the first thing you would do, if tomorrow morning, you woke up and discovered you were a panda.


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## uber fool (Feb 3, 2016)

denverxdriver said:


> I have been driving for about two years off and on and am sick of the same ol conversations with pax.
> 
> Any good conversation starter tips out there? Would like to have a chat with the PAX without seeming too pushy.


Yup,do you mind if i turn up the radio


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## TwoFiddyMile (Mar 13, 2015)

lesh11 said:


> My favorite:
> 
> What would be the first thing you would do, if tomorrow morning, you woke up and discovered you were a panda.


Make a bamboo omlette.


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## CBear (Apr 17, 2017)

GaryWinFlorida said:


> I have my canned lines ...
> 
> If it's their first Uber ride:
> 
> ...


These are awesome. I want you as my uber driver. I don't think I could pull these off though.


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## Professor (May 30, 2017)

If ever asked how I am doing I always reply, "Fine, but it's not the age it's the millage, honey."

At the start, "Where are we going this evening? " Whatever they say I say excitedly, "Excellent!" Or "Do you have enough bail money for that place?" Or "Does your mother know you are going there?" Once a young girl replied that the lady beside her WAS her mother. LOL. "I thought you two were sisters" was my best reply.

At the end of the trip, as they exit I say " watch your head, be sure to gather all your belongings, thanks for not shooting me."
Once I drove a trucker to the airport and when he learned I teach we discussed William Blake and other English poets. Very high level discussion.

When the passenger tells me what they are doing I mess up what I hear them say for fun. I took a young lady to a wedding. She said I am going to a wedding when getting in. I then proceeded to congratulate her as if it was her wedding, told her I would not make her late, ask if she was with child, ask why marry the guy, and other hilarious responses until she realized I was having fun.


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## DeplorableDonald (Feb 16, 2017)

I have a few questions

*Ever seen a grown man naked?

*You like movies about gladiators?

*You ever been in a Turkish prison?


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## tohunt4me (Nov 23, 2015)

TwoFiddyMile said:


> Weather. Music. Non political current events.
> 
> Now, understand I'm a master cabbie
> So occasionally it's "do you know, this morning I had to stop in the MIDDLE OF THE STREET for a herd of armadillos who were jaywalking ™?".


Armadillo leap up when a car approahes them. Great grill busters.
Had to throw my car sideways at 50 mph tonight to miss a guy in black clothes in my lane in 6 lane road.
Barely missed him.
I have rally good anti lock brakes.


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## UberxGTA (Dec 1, 2015)

Cableguynoe said:


> Trump is really doing some great things huh? I'm excited about our country's future. What are your thoughts?
> 
> Or
> 
> ...


I have yo agree with you on the Canadian wall. Hopefully that would stop America's problems coming across the border.


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## Certain Judgment (Dec 2, 2016)

Care for a road beer with me?



UberxGTA said:


> I have yo agree with you on the Canadian wall. Hopefully that would stop America's problems coming across the border.


I agree. Once these lefty loonie toons cross over into your country like they promised they would when Trump won, we Americans definitely should have a wall preventing them from ever getting back into ours!


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## TwoFiddyMile (Mar 13, 2015)

UberxGTA said:


> I have yo agree with you on the Canadian wall. Hopefully that would stop America's problems coming across the border.


You'd miss our tourist money.


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## MadTownUberD (Mar 11, 2017)

TwoFiddyMile said:


> You'd miss our tourist money.


Ya that makes as much sense as Wisconsin building a wall to keep the FIBs out.


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## Certain Judgment (Dec 2, 2016)

MadTownUberD said:


> Ya that makes as much sense as Wisconsin building a wall to keep the FIBs out.


I had to look up what an FIB was, but now that I know, I could get behind that idea! But I'll have to get my inlaws over from Gurnee first. I can't imagine never having a free babysitter again for the rare times my wife and I actually have a date!


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## MadTownUberD (Mar 11, 2017)

Certain Judgment said:


> I had to look up what an FIB was, but now that I know, I could get behind that idea! But I'll have to get my inlaws over from Gurnee first. I can't imagine never having a free babysitter again for the rare times my wife and I actually have a date!


Our dates are rare too because free babysitters live in Joliet!

Now look up FISHTAB.


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## Certain Judgment (Dec 2, 2016)

MadTownUberD said:


> Our dates are rare too because free babysitters live in Joliet!
> 
> Now look up FISHTAB.


LOL, I just did. That's epic!


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## Cableguynoe (Feb 14, 2017)

DeplorableDonald said:


> I have a few questions
> 
> *Ever seen a grown man naked?


Best movie line ever!


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## R James (Apr 25, 2017)

Have you ever seen a dead body?


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## Paul Vincent (Jan 15, 2016)

Did you just eat a tuna sandwich?


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## Commando (May 16, 2017)

PrestonT said:


> "Hey, honey, are those real or augmented?"


Nice rack!


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## TwoFiddyMile (Mar 13, 2015)

Commando said:


> Nice rack!


Thanks, it's a Thule.


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## MadTownUberD (Mar 11, 2017)

JimKE said:


> I like to ask riders how long they've been riding with Uber. And how they like it. And also whether they ride Uber exclusively or if they have other transportation sources like trains, buses, camel caravans, etc. And I ask why they don't just buy a car to use as regular full-time transportation.


To me this seems risky. What if the rider has to take Ubers because he or she lost his or her license?

One time in the middle of the day I picked up a middle-aged to "older" woman and took her to a convenience store to buy a handful of groceries, then back home, which was a very nice/new apartment or condo complex. I thought I smelled alcohol on her breath and it came up in conversation that her husband had died, and that he had owned a BMW 5 series. She didn't tip but was very nice to me, and I felt sad for her.

Have you had any awkward results after asking why a pax takes Ubers?


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## yankdog (Jul 19, 2016)

I have a horse head under a blanket in the back seat whenever I'm in the mood to pick up pool. Generally conversations start naturally in this situation.


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## TwoFiddyMile (Mar 13, 2015)

yankdog said:


> I have a horse head under a blanket in the back seat whenever I'm in the mood to pick up pool. Generally conversations start naturally in this situation.


I save all my severed horse heads for contract negotiations.


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## mKat (May 19, 2016)

denverxdriver said:


> I have been driving for about two years off and on and am sick of the same ol conversations with pax.
> 
> Any good conversation starter tips out there? Would like to have a chat with the PAX without seeming too pushy.


If anyone says, 'this is my first uber ride', I say, 'you'll be ok - I haven't had a bad crash in almost 3 weeks'. Half of them freeze for a couple seconds, then they get it, and they know I'm not the 'serious type' (which is a good thing). Conversation is easy after that wee ice breaker.


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## Retired Senior (Sep 12, 2016)

RideshareSpectrum said:


> My day has been good, thanks. Ive been driving for like 19 hours straight without a break and was omw to the fwy home when you pinged. I figured 'F#@k it. Whats one more ride?'.


Hahaha! I have actually said that,,, well not 19 hours but 10 hours. I follow it up with: "Actually I AM kind of tired... Would YOU like to drive?
The panic on most Pax's face's is priceless!


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## MadTownUberD (Mar 11, 2017)

I used the line about driving since I got out of prison just now and it worked pretty well to get a laugh.


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## JimKE (Oct 28, 2016)

MadTownUberD said:


> To me this seems risky. What if the rider has to take Ubers because he or she lost his or her license?
> 
> One time in the middle of the day I picked up a middle-aged to "older" woman and took her to a convenience store to buy a handful of groceries, then back home, which was a very nice/new apartment or condo complex. I thought I smelled alcohol on her breath and it came up in conversation that her husband had died, and that he had owned a BMW 5 series. She didn't tip but was very nice to me, and I felt sad for her.
> 
> Have you had any awkward results after asking why a pax takes Ubers?


Um...it was a joke...?


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## wk1102 (Dec 25, 2015)

dirtylee said:


> Never ask this. The answer is always he could be doing better. You will however hear about everything he has or hasn't done.


But the rest on the list are okay?


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## wk1102 (Dec 25, 2015)

JimKE said:


> I ask it they've ever had any life-threatening experiences





Grahamcracker said:


> Did you hear about that 16 year old girl with a machete?


I always bring up all the women that have been assaulted or say Thank God Uber lets me drive for them, I can't get a real job with my record...



MadTownUberD said:


> Dunno but I am re evaluating my CCW driving policy. Then again I'm probably worth more to my family dead than in prison.


Eh, move to Florida, it's practically legal to shoot people here!


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## CenCal559 (Jun 2, 2017)

Cableguynoe said:


> Trump is really doing some great things huh? I'm excited about our country's future. What are your thoughts?
> 
> Or
> 
> ...


Politics and religion, not a good topic 1*


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## DelaK (Dec 17, 2015)

denverxdriver said:


> I have been driving for about two years off and on and am sick of the same ol conversations with pax.
> 
> Any good conversation starter tips out there? Would like to have a chat with the PAX without seeming too pushy.


After the normal hello how are you and confirming the destination I don't say much unless they talk to me. Most people don't want to talk, well at least here in SF they don't. You should be focusing on the road and your surrounding instead of worrying about what to say or feeling awkward. If they do talk just be polite and answer the questions. I wouldn't bring up politics or any subject that they could have a strong opinion about, your just asking for a one star rating.


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## RynoHawk (Mar 15, 2017)

After the usual confirmation questions, I ask how they're doing today. Mostly I may get a curt "fine" (which I take as my cue to STFU for the rest of the ride) or a "Good. Yourself?". After that brief exchange, I concentrate on the trip and leave it up to the rider to initiate any more conversation. Once we arrive at the destination, I''ll confirm where they want me to drop them off and wish them a good night. If they're from out of town I'll tell them to enjoy the rest of their visit.


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