# Bear gotted a job!



## Jon Stoppable

Bear! Bear! Bear!

If you recall, bear is self-trained in accountancy but has been unable to work because the mean people at the state society said that bears aren't allowed to be CPAs. But bear found a place that didn't care about credentials. So bear put on bear's best shirt and went for an interview, and bear remembered not to carry bear's resume in bear's mouth, and bear got hired!

They didn't say if bear would get any ear scratches, but those are rare from rideshare pax anyway. And bear will have to bath more than once a week, and not in a roadside ditch. So that is a downside. But otherwise, bear has a reliable source of food now!

Bear is uncertain whether bear will drive again, unless the office people notice that bear is a bear. But maybe by then they won't mind?


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## Johnny Mnemonic

You da Man, Bear. I mean...you da Bear, Man. I mean you...I mean you da...

Ah, you know what I mean. Way to go, Bear.


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## MHR




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## TCar

Way to go. 
Nice Job Bear!


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## Jon Stoppable

Thanks! Also, bear has purchased a sailboat. The nice man who sold it to bear said the purchase will pay for itself in fish, and bear can sleep below deck. Bear hopes so! Bear also hopes that the humans at the marina don't look askance at bear when bear sticks bear's head over the side of the boat into the water to catch the fish.


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## Stevie The magic Unicorn

Congratulations bear...

PS, i'm pretty sure HR would have strong words if you ate any of the Hoo-man co-workers so that's probably not a great idea.


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## Uber's Guber

Jon Stoppable said:


> But maybe by then they won't mind?


Of course not. We have ways of dealing with bears in the workforce.


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## ParkingPermit

Bear needs some serious mental help 

But great entertainment!


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## SHalester

I wonder, do they know you are a bear¿


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## Diamondraider

Jon Stoppable said:


> Bear! Bear! Bear!
> 
> If you recall, bear is self-trained in accountancy but has been unable to work because the mean people at the state society said that bears aren't allowed to be CPAs. But bear found a place that didn't care about credentials. So bear put on bear's best shirt and went for an interview, and bear remembered not to carry bear's resume in bear's mouth, and bear got hired!
> 
> They didn't say if bear would get any ear scratches, but those are rare from rideshare pax anyway. And bear will have to bath more than once a week, and not in a roadside ditch. So that is a downside. But otherwise, bear has a reliable source of food now!
> 
> Bear is uncertain whether bear will drive again, unless the office people notice that bear is a bear. But maybe by then they won't mind?


Congrats!
Make sure to use employer approved facilities to relieve yourself, no matter how tempting the woods look.


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## Jon Stoppable

Stevie The magic Unicorn said:


> Congratulations bear...
> 
> PS, i'm pretty sure HR would have strong words if you ate any of the Hoo-man co-workers so that's probably not a great idea.


There is no HR at this place, so nobody to check bear's terrible credit (bear did not understand how credit cards work until long after the offers came in the mail), and nobody to put bear on a Performance Improvement Plan for masticating fellow employees!


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## Amos69

Congratulations!

Do you start in may?

Dont cut your hibernation to short


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## Guido-TheKillerPimp

Jon Stoppable said:


> Bear! Bear! Bear!
> 
> If you recall, bear is self-trained in accountancy but has been unable to work because the mean people at the state society said that bears aren't allowed to be CPAs. But bear found a place that didn't care about credentials. So bear put on bear's best shirt and went for an interview, and bear remembered not to carry bear's resume in bear's mouth, and bear got hired!
> 
> They didn't say if bear would get any ear scratches, but those are rare from rideshare pax anyway. And bear will have to bath more than once a week, and not in a roadside ditch. So that is a downside. But otherwise, bear has a reliable source of food now!
> 
> Bear is uncertain whether bear will drive again, unless the office people notice that bear is a bear. But maybe by then they won't mind?


Who wants to go Bear hunting? &#128040;&#128299;&#128526;



SHalester said:


> I wonder, do they know you are a bear¿


Unlike how everyone knows your a ______!


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## tohunt4me

Jon Stoppable said:


> Bear! Bear! Bear!
> 
> If you recall, bear is self-trained in accountancy but has been unable to work because the mean people at the state society said that bears aren't allowed to be CPAs. But bear found a place that didn't care about credentials. So bear put on bear's best shirt and went for an interview, and bear remembered not to carry bear's resume in bear's mouth, and bear got hired!
> 
> They didn't say if bear would get any ear scratches, but those are rare from rideshare pax anyway. And bear will have to bath more than once a week, and not in a roadside ditch. So that is a downside. But otherwise, bear has a reliable source of food now!
> 
> Bear is uncertain whether bear will drive again, unless the office people notice that bear is a bear. But maybe by then they won't mind?


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## kc ub'ing!

I can’t bare job hunting. Congrats on the new gig!


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## UberBastid

ParkingPermit said:


> Bear needs some serious mental help
> 
> But great entertainment!


Not by bear standards.
He's pretty well adjusted ... again, by bear standards.


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## Seamus




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## 25rides7daysaweek

Jon Stoppable said:


> Bear! Bear! Bear!
> 
> If you recall, bear is self-trained in accountancy but has been unable to work because the mean people at the state society said that bears aren't allowed to be CPAs. But bear found a place that didn't care about credentials. So bear put on bear's best shirt and went for an interview, and bear remembered not to carry bear's resume in bear's mouth, and bear got hired!
> 
> They didn't say if bear would get any ear scratches, but those are rare from rideshare pax anyway. And bear will have to bath more than once a week, and not in a roadside ditch. So that is a downside. But otherwise, bear has a reliable source of food now!
> 
> Bear is uncertain whether bear will drive again, unless the office people notice that bear is a bear. But maybe by then they won't mind?


Thats great if you are happy !!!
One wonders about benefits if you arent actually an accountant though


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## UberBastid

25rides7daysaweek said:


> Thats great if you are happy !!!
> One wonders about benefits if you arent actually an accountant though


It is a foreign thing to almost all RS drivers; so your confusion is understandable.
We just don't get to see it all that much.

It's called .... PAYDAY.
The _first_ benefit I negotiate for.


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## Seamus

25rides7daysaweek said:


> One wonders about benefits if you arent actually an accountant though


Decades ago, businesses used to be filled with "bookkeepers" who had no accounting degrees but where trained to post accounting transactions. Those that excelled could be tasked with report generation or some lower level report analysis. There were hundreds of thousands of them if not millions.

Computers and financial software wiped that out and the "Bookkeeping" trade became extinct. Now, the term "bookkeeper" is not used anymore but for people who understand how to use financial software such as "Quickbooks", recording financial transactions, and running financial reports they can be in demand and decently paid. No degree required. To do public accounting you must be a CPA. To do business and corporate accounting that is not required. Many accounting departments in corporations are filled with people sitting in cubicles who aren't degreed accountants.


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## 25rides7daysaweek

Seamus said:


> Decades ago, businesses used to be filled with "bookkeepers" who had no accounting degrees but where trained to post accounting transactions. Those that excelled could be tasked with report generation or some lower level report analysis. There were hundreds of thousands of them if not millions.
> 
> Computers and financial software wiped that out and the "Bookkeeping" trade became extinct. Now, the term "bookkeeper" is not used anymore but for people who understand how to use financial software such as "Quickbooks", recording financial transactions, and running financial reports they can be in demand and decently paid. No degree required. To do public accounting you must be a CPA. To do business and corporate accounting that is not required. Many accounting departments in corporations are filled with people sitting in cubicles who aren't degreed accountants.


Ok he referred to himself as a 
"self trained accountant" 
was what triggered me
That must be bearspeak for
a double naught cypherer...


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## Mash Ghasem

Jon Stoppable said:


> Bear! Bear! Bear!
> 
> If you recall, bear is self-trained in accountancy but has been unable to work because the mean people at the state society said that bears aren't allowed to be CPAs. But bear found a place that didn't care about credentials. So bear put on bear's best shirt and went for an interview, and bear remembered not to carry bear's resume in bear's mouth, and bear got hired!
> 
> They didn't say if bear would get any ear scratches, but those are rare from rideshare pax anyway. And bear will have to bath more than once a week, and not in a roadside ditch. So that is a downside. But otherwise, bear has a reliable source of food now!
> 
> Bear is uncertain whether bear will drive again, unless the office people notice that bear is a bear. But maybe by then they won't mind?


Congrabearlations!


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## tohunt4me

Seamus said:


> View attachment 574193


And i hear Wal Street
Will have a BEAR MARKET
in his Honor !


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## SHalester

Guido-TheKillerPimp said:


> Unlike how everyone knows your a ______!


ok, puppy. Time for your nap. Then you can dream of being a big dog here. That day, is still not today. :roflmao:


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## Jon Stoppable

Seamus said:


> View attachment 574193


Exactly like that, except no tie, no pants, and bear is a black bear.



25rides7daysaweek said:


> Thats great if you are happy !!!
> One wonders about benefits if you arent actually an accountant though


Bear is not getting any benefits but bear is not too concerned. First, care at the vet is much cheaper than human hospitals, and the vet techs will scratch behind bear's ears while they give bear the rabies shot. Second, bear does not need life insurance because bear does not have any dependents, and bear's carcass can simply be tossed in the woods.



25rides7daysaweek said:


> Ok he referred to himself as a
> "self trained accountant"
> was what triggered me
> That must be bearspeak for
> a double naught cypherer...


Bear read the CPA study manuals in the human's van that bear stole (after bear ate said human). Disguised as the human, bear passed the exam, but the mean people at the state society wouldn't let bear get a certification. Something about bears lacking ethics or eating clients or something. Well, bear has showed them now!


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## Guido-TheKillerPimp

SHalester said:


> ok, puppy. Time for your nap. Then you can dream of being a big dog here. That day, is still not today. :roflmao:


Yes, I'm more successful than you!


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## SHalester

Guido-TheKillerPimp said:


> Yes, I'm more successful than you!


In your tiny mind.....maybe. :roflmao:


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## Judge and Jury

Jon Stoppable said:


> Thanks! Also, bear has purchased a sailboat. The nice man who sold it to bear said the purchase will pay for itself in fish, and bear can sleep below deck. Bear hopes so! Bear also hopes that the humans at the marina don't look askance at bear when bear sticks bear's head over the side of the boat into the water to catch the fish.


Bear supposed to be catching salmon in the river.

Bear getting old and lazy.

Guessing Bear gonna be ordering fish through ubereats to the office.

Further, what the office gonna do when Bear hibernates?
Does Bear hibernate during tax season? Bear may have an unforseen problem.



Jon Stoppable said:


> Bear! Bear! Bear!
> 
> If you recall, bear is self-trained in accountancy but has been unable to work because the mean people at the state society said that bears aren't allowed to be CPAs. But bear found a place that didn't care about credentials. So bear put on bear's best shirt and went for an interview, and bear remembered not to carry bear's resume in bear's mouth, and bear got hired!
> 
> They didn't say if bear would get any ear scratches, but those are rare from rideshare pax anyway. And bear will have to bath more than once a week, and not in a roadside ditch. So that is a downside. But otherwise, bear has a reliable source of food now!
> 
> Bear is uncertain whether bear will drive again, unless the office people notice that bear is a bear. But maybe by then they won't mind?


By the way; Congratulations.

Hoping Bear continues to mock humans on this forum. Always entertaining.



Guido-TheKillerPimp said:


> Yes, I'm more successful than you!


At what?


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## Guido-TheKillerPimp

Judge and Jury said:


> Bear supposed to be catching salmon in the river.
> 
> Bear getting old and lazy.
> 
> Guessing Bear gonna be ordering fish through ubereats to the office.
> 
> Further, what the office gonna do when Bear hibernates?
> Does Bear hibernate during tax season? Bear may have an unforseen problem.
> 
> 
> By the way; Congratulations.
> 
> Hoping Bear continues to mock humans on this forum. Always entertaining.
> 
> 
> At what?


Everything that matters!


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## Jon Stoppable

Judge and Jury said:


> Further, what the office gonna do when Bear hibernates?
> Does Bear hibernate during tax season? Bear may have an unforseen problem.


Bear hasn't hibernated since joining human society. Bears don't hibernate because of cold (bears don't get cold), they hibernate for lack of food. Bear does not have that problem anymore!


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## Guido-TheKillerPimp

Jon Stoppable said:


> Bear hasn't hibernated since joining human society. Bears don't hibernate because of cold (bears don't get cold), they hibernate for lack of food. Bear does not have that problem anymore!


But where does Bear poop?


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## MHR

Guido-TheKillerPimp said:


> But where does Bear poop?


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## Judge and Jury

Jon Stoppable said:


> Bear hasn't hibernated since joining human society. Bears don't hibernate because of cold (bears don't get cold), they hibernate for lack of food. Bear does not have that problem anymore!


According to Hobbes, humans have only one purpose: Tiger Food.

No respectable Tiger eats fish.


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## cumonohito

Congratulations bear in swapping a 1099 for w2, now start practicing human talk. 
Cheers and good luck.


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## ParkingPermit

Has bear ever found true love yet?


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## TomTheAnt

Good job, Bear! :thumbup:

Just remember: you can take a Bear out of youpeadotnet, but you can’t take youpeadotnet out of a Bear. :whistling: You are hooked for life.


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## cumonohito

Bear, I suggest that you start practicing self control now, meditate, do some yoga. Otherwise at your first encounter of a human eating a bear claw with honey will send you through the roof and you will get in trouble. 

Humans do like bear claws and honey.


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## ashlee2004

@Jon Stoppable I know you are a black bear but I suggest giving this a try if anyone tries to look too closely


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## Taxi2Uber

cumonohito said:


> Congratulations...in swapping a 1099 for w2


Is that really a call for Congratulation?

I would say, Sorry it had to come to that.


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## FLKeys

Jon Stoppable said:


> Thanks! Also, bear has purchased a sailboat. The nice man who sold it to bear said the purchase will pay for itself in fish, and bear can sleep below deck. Bear hopes so! Bear also hopes that the humans at the marina don't look askance at bear when bear sticks bear's *head over the side of the boat into the water to catch the fish.*


*Goonie goo goo!*


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## Lissetti

Jon Stoppable said:


> Bear! Bear! Bear!
> 
> If you recall, bear is self-trained in accountancy but has been unable to work because the mean people at the state society said that bears aren't allowed to be CPAs. But bear found a place that didn't care about credentials. So bear put on bear's best shirt and went for an interview, and bear remembered not to carry bear's resume in bear's mouth, and bear got hired!
> 
> They didn't say if bear would get any ear scratches, but those are rare from rideshare pax anyway. And bear will have to bath more than once a week, and not in a roadside ditch. So that is a downside. But otherwise, bear has a reliable source of food now!
> 
> Bear is uncertain whether bear will drive again, unless the office people notice that bear is a bear. But maybe by then they won't mind?


Congratulations! Never look back. I didn't. Your car will thank you. Dont forget to contact your insurance company and cancel that rideshare coverage. I completely forgot and was paying for rideshare coverage long after I stopped driving. I have a few cars on the policy so I didn't notice. I thought it was my classic car in storage keeping those rates up.


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## June132017




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## Jon Stoppable

Lissetti said:


> Congratulations! Never look back. I didn't. Your car will thank you. Dont forget to contact your insurance company and cancel that rideshare coverage. I completely forgot and was paying for rideshare coverage long after I stopped driving. I have a few cars on the policy so I didn't notice. I thought it was my classic car in storage keeping those rates up.


Bears are not too fussed about insurance, since bear stole the van and bears are judgment-proof anyway.



FLKeys said:


> *Goonie goo goo!*


*bear wipes butt with rabbit*


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## Amos69

Jon Stoppable said:


> Bears are not too fussed about insurance, since bear stole the van and bears are judgment-proof anyway.
> 
> 
> *bear wipes butt with rabbit*


Rabbit fur is very soft. I make Panties for human females out of it.


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## Lissetti

Make sure to take the time to enjoy the good things now Bear.

You deserve it. &#129392;


__
https://www.reddit.com/r/Damnthatsinteresting/comments/mdctwt


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## The Gift of Fish

Unbearable.


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## Invisible

Congratulations, Bear!! I hope you stay on this forum since many of the members can't bear to be without your humor. May you be able to buy lots of honey for your honey now with a stable income. It's great you found your way out of the trap of full-time gig work. I'm sure you will excel at your new job instead of doing the bear minimum and you will climb your way to the top in no time. 

It can be tough adjusting from self-employment to traditional work, so remind yourself of the bear necessity to take care of yourself. Remember your worth and stay focused on the hunt! Best of luck to you in your new adventure.


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## doyousensehumor

__ https://twitter.com/i/web/status/1378208136285282305


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## goneubering

I can barely stand all the joy in this thread.


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## Mash Ghasem

goneubering said:


> I can barely stand all the joy in this thread. :smiles:


It's unbearable.


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## maxroyalty1

Can I burp inside Bear’s mouth? It’s smells of old salmon that was flavored with seasoning from Flavor Gd.


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## bsliv

maxroyalty1 said:


> Can I burp inside Bear's mouth? It's smells of old salmon that was flavored with seasoning from Flavor Gd.


I would not suggest it. Especially if you've ingested beers and even if bearing arms while the bear has bare arms.

ps
That polite bear is just too much. I must have watched the video 50 times!


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## Invisible

Bear, 

Did you start your new job yet? if so, are you enjoying it or just bearly liking it?


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## maxroyalty1

Bear took a poopie


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## Jon Stoppable

Invisible said:


> Bear,
> 
> Did you start your new job yet? if so, are you enjoying it or just bearly liking it?


Bear has been working for a month now! At first bear was wondering where all the food money was; it turns out that bear gets paid weekly rather than daily. That first week was some hungry times, but when that first paycheck came it took bear a couple of days to recover from the binge! Bear has learned to pace bear's food intake since then, which is a more difficult skill than a human might think.

Bear recently did four years worth of back taxes for a dearly departed fellow driver's former mate. Dude did thousands of rides at $0.51/mile average. Bear poured a 40 on the street in respect to that hard antin' for food and out of empathy for losing a mate :cryin:



maxroyalty1 said:


> Bear took a poopie


Bear likes to take a couple of those every day!


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## Invisible

Jon Stoppable said:


> Bear has been working for a month now! At first bear was wondering where all the food money was; it turns out that bear gets paid weekly rather than daily. That first week was some hungry times, but when that first paycheck came it took bear a couple of days to recover from the binge! Bear has learned to pace bear's food intake since then, which is a more difficult skill than a human might think.
> 
> Bear recently did four years worth of back taxes for a dearly departed fellow driver's former mate. Dude did thousands of rides at $0.51/mile average. Bear poured a 40 on the street in respect to that hard antin' for food and out of empathy for losing a mate :cryin:
> 
> 
> Bear likes to take a couple of those every day!


I'm beary happy it's working out for you! Awesome you get paid weekly. How sweet of you to help your driver's departed mate.


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## maxroyalty1

Bear likes to poopie


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