# Uber for pooping is here, and we can never go back



## Taxi Driver in Arizona (Mar 18, 2015)

New York City has a big problem: there aren't many clean, reliable bathrooms available. If you need to pop off the busy streets for a pitstop, you probably won't find a free toilet - and even the ones you pay for are more than likely gonna be icky.

But we live in a time when we can instantly summon just about anything with our smartphones. Surely some enterprising innovator will soon introduce an on-demand, clean bathroom service to disrupt the Big Toilet industry.

Enter Charmin. The toilet paper company is giving NYC a taste of toilet freedom with a two-day promotion for Van-_GO_, its new mobile-ordering bathroom experience, this week. The press-to-order service will send on-demand bathroom service to fulfill the dreams of germophobic pedestrians with overfilled bladders everywhere - or, at least the select neighborhoods the van will hit during its run.

More at link:
http://mashable.com/2017/06/20/charmin-van-go-mobile-order-toilet/#SZEyCgZrfSq2


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## Uberdriver2710 (Jul 15, 2015)

call a commode?


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## Ivanz (Mar 26, 2017)

Uberdriver2710 said:


> call a commode?


Carmode x surely.

I wonder if carmodes black have to have solid gold shitters and you can use your own 20$ bills to wipe with that the driver gets to keep.


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## aeiou_- (Jul 5, 2015)

This is genius..


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## Uberdriver2710 (Jul 15, 2015)

What if I have to go #3?


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## aeiou_- (Jul 5, 2015)

Uberdriver2710 said:


> What if I have to go #3?


Surge pricing


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## AllenChicago (Nov 19, 2015)

NYC is full of Starbucks, McDonalds, etc.. Those establishments don't have bathrooms?

How much would you charge to drive a porta-potty, hooked to the back of your car? Mileage, of course. But what about the usage of the Porta Potty? I'd say $3 per minute would be good. A moderately constipated customer could generate a quick $60 bucks.

Also, no way would I want to perform any potty maintenance. It would have to dropped-off/picked-up at a porta-potty cleanup site. (Mileage for that too!)


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## Uberyouber (Jan 16, 2017)

yea I'm in.


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## Mr. G (Sep 4, 2016)

Can I share the toilet with up to 3 people? ToiletPool?


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## 7Miles (Dec 17, 2014)

Don't be pissed if they arrive late !

Just threaten them to take your shit elsewhere


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## Danny3xd (Nov 7, 2016)

Ya know, might work outside concerts, festiviles, etc. Just a flatbed with some porta potties. A buck a pop. Or some thing like that. 

Dropped off at a concert last night. # teen girls want to be let off at Micky D's and there was already a line for the woman's toydi.


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## Adieu (Feb 21, 2016)

Danny3xd said:


> Ya know, might work outside concerts, festiviles, etc. Just a flatbed with some porta potties. A buck a pop. Or some thing like that.
> 
> Dropped off at a concert last night. # teen girls want to be let off at Micky D's and there was already a line for the woman's toydi.


Like any other Uber-type "disruptive innovation", it's been going on for decades in Eastern Europe:


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## Danny3xd (Nov 7, 2016)

"Wait for the shake"


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## GT500KR (Jan 30, 2017)

Uberdriver2710 said:


> call a commode?


PooPoo2Go, Mello-Yello Quickdrain.


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## tohunt4me (Nov 23, 2015)

Taxi Driver in Arizona said:


> New York City has a big problem: there aren't many clean, reliable bathrooms available. If you need to pop off the busy streets for a pitstop, you probably won't find a free toilet - and even the ones you pay for are more than likely gonna be icky.
> 
> But we live in a time when we can instantly summon just about anything with our smartphones. Surely some enterprising innovator will soon introduce an on-demand, clean bathroom service to disrupt the Big Toilet industry.
> 
> ...


Toilets will be rated.



Mr. G said:


> Can I share the toilet with up to 3 people? ToiletPool?


Try to cram 6 in ?
Claim the last toilet let you do it.



Uberdriver2710 said:


> What if I have to go #3?


Dont be pissed
But youre sh*t out of luck.


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## ganerbangla (Mar 4, 2017)

Uber should provide uber bathroom


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## Bpr2 (Feb 21, 2017)

ganerbangla said:


> Uber should provide uber bathroom


They already do for chickens.


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## SurgeMachine (Mar 15, 2016)

Nah its all about Uber Pooper.


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## Tr4vis Ka1anick (Oct 2, 2016)

Danny3xd said:


> A buck a pop. Or some thing like that.


*FTFW. A buck a plop.
*
Maybe even sell burritos or eggrolls at the same time. After your squat a mechanized microwave, plops out a hot steamy morsel for you to recycle back into the porta plopper.


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## UberLaLa (Sep 6, 2015)

aeiou_- said:


> Surge pricing


Didn't you mean _Purge Pricing_


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## Tr4vis Ka1anick (Oct 2, 2016)




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## The Gift of Fish (Mar 17, 2017)

Uberdriver2710 said:


> call a commode?


Transport-a-Turd


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## Steven Ambrose (Sep 25, 2016)

What happens if you can cancel on UberPitStop


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## aeiou_- (Jul 5, 2015)

The Gift of Fish said:


> Transport-a-Turd


That's our more expensive premium service.


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## Trafficat (Dec 19, 2016)

Tr4vis Ka1anick said:


> Maybe even sell burritos or eggrolls at the same time. After your squat a mechanized microwave, plops out a hot steamy morsel for you to recycle back into the porta plopper.


Laxative infused brownies are where it is at if you really want some repeat business!


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## Danny3xd (Nov 7, 2016)

Did someone already come up with a pooper pool joke?


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## Retired Senior (Sep 12, 2016)

This is funny! I was thinking about writing a post about the best and friendliest bathrooms in Fairfield County (Connecticut). Most of the fast food places have an open door policy. So too does Dunkin Donuts and their competitor in the Nowalk, Stamford are whose name I cannot remember. The rest stops on the Merritt Parkway and I-95 are fine, except that I-95 rest stop toilets are at the far end of the building.... you have to park your car, walk/run past all the food shops, and then get to the toilet area.

Barnes and Noble book stores also have clean latrines with a "don't ask, don't tell" policy.

In downtown Stamford, baring all else, find Landmark Center. #5. Park by a parking meter and donate 3 quarters. Run inside building 5 to where the Crown Marquis movie theaters are. There are public bathrooms right there.

Hey, keep a package of "baby wipes" in your car and bring them into the public bathroom with you. It is the only way to prevent "brown finger"!


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## Coffeekeepsmedriving (Oct 2, 2015)

FREE BATHROOMS IN NYC

http://m3.mappler.net/nyrestroom/


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## Danny3xd (Nov 7, 2016)

It's just cool you were looking out for your fellow drivers, RS. Am gonna work on some sort of coalition of CT drivers and try and do just that.



Retired Senior said:


> This is funny! I was thinking about writing a post about the best and friendliest bathrooms in Fairfield County (Connecticut). Most of the fast food places have an open door policy. So too does Dunkin Donuts and their competitor in the Nowalk, Stamford are whose name I cannot remember. The rest stops on the Merritt Parkway and I-95 are fine, except that I-95 rest stop toilets are at the far end of the building.... you have to park your car, walk/run past all the food shops, and then get to the toilet area.
> 
> Barnes and Noble book stores also have clean latrines with a "don't ask, don't tell" policy.
> 
> ...


-----------------------------------------------------------

Super Uber Pool Pooper (don't "drop the kids off at the pool. The pool comes 2u!")

Quickie peepee .com

Camode2go.com

Potty on the spot

OK, I got nutton....



Tr4vis Ka1anick said:


> *FTFW. A buck a plop.
> *
> Maybe even sell burritos or eggrolls at the same time. After your squat a mechanized microwave, plops out a hot steamy morsel for you to recycle back into the porta plopper.


LoL, Ka1. Thats just wrong.....


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## sellkatsell44 (Oct 25, 2015)

I have a small bladder but no problems in NYC

1) I'm always eating 
2) hotels
3) chase banks


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## Danny3xd (Nov 7, 2016)

Never would have thought of Chase banks, Kate. 

Talk about full service....


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## sellkatsell44 (Oct 25, 2015)

Danny3xd said:


> Never would have thought of Chase banks, Kate.
> 
> Talk about full service....


They're everywhere in NYC, and banks like hotels in general have bathrooms...like Starbucks.


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## Danny3xd (Nov 7, 2016)

Honestly never would have thought of a bank. Up my way, here in CT. Not really a problem. But was in Manhattan recently and ended up at South st seaport doing the dance and running for a dumpster to hide behind.

Great to know and thanks!

Dig the avatar, btw.


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## Nick781 (Dec 7, 2014)

Sheep we are going to be paying more in the end when all these dumb ideas take over


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## tradedate (Nov 30, 2015)

No one has asked the most important question. How much does this service cost?


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## Jim Ng (Aug 16, 2015)

How about some Kleenex?


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## Cableguynoe (Feb 14, 2017)

tradedate said:


> No one has asked the most important question. How much does this service cost?


Or what happened when you don't verify name and wrong person gets in?

They just got to shit for free and your poop pax just shit their pants.
1 star for driver


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## Stripzip (Mar 16, 2017)

AllenChicago said:


> NYC is full of Starbucks, McDonalds, etc.. Those establishments don't have bathrooms?
> 
> How much would you charge to drive a porta-potty, hooked to the back of your car? Mileage, of course. But what about the usage of the Porta Potty? I'd say $3 per minute would be good. A moderately constipated customer could generate a quick $60 bucks.
> 
> Also, no way would I want to perform any potty maintenance. It would have to dropped-off/picked-up at a porta-potty cleanup site. (Mileage for that too!)


You have to find someplace and pay to park, and then order something.... Depends are cheaper!


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## senorCRV (Jan 3, 2017)

Is there a van for each of the 28 different genders?


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## Wardell Curry (Jul 9, 2016)

I think Ill just stick with any mcdonalds or burger king outside of manhattan.


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## UberTrader (Dec 7, 2016)

What a disgusting thread, I puke over people's responses.


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## BathoTrask (Dec 27, 2016)

AllenChicago said:


> NYC is full of Starbucks, McDonalds, etc.. Those establishments don't have bathrooms?
> 
> How much would you charge to drive a porta-potty, hooked to the back of your car? Mileage, of course. But what about the usage of the Porta Potty? I'd say $3 per minute would be good. A moderately constipated customer could generate a quick $60 bucks.
> 
> Also, no way would I want to perform any potty maintenance. It would have to dropped-off/picked-up at a porta-potty cleanup site. (Mileage for that too!)


Often there is no where to park near said establishments, and starbucks in the city often perma closes their restrooms since people abuse the crap (pun intended) out of them. Also, many of these establishments are closed after 11PM, and there are MANY drivers who operate at night (I'm one of them).


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## AllenChicago (Nov 19, 2015)

BathoTrask said:


> Often there is no where to park near said establishments, and starbucks in the city often perma closes their restrooms since people abuse the crap (pun intended) out of them. Also, many of these establishments are closed after 11PM, and there are MANY drivers who operate at night (I'm one of them).


Thanks for taking the time to explain that, BathoTrask. I was mistakenly thinking that New York City was similar to Chicago. Obviously Chicago is more "relaxed" when it comes to parking, non-locked restrooms, etc..


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## Skepticaldriver (Mar 5, 2017)

SurgeMachine said:


> Nah its all about Uber Pooper.


Hilarity


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## Dontmakemepullauonyou (Oct 13, 2015)

Taxi Driver in Arizona said:


> New York City has a big problem: there aren't many clean, reliable bathrooms available. If you need to pop off the busy streets for a pitstop, you probably won't find a free toilet - and even the ones you pay for are more than likely gonna be icky.
> 
> But we live in a time when we can instantly summon just about anything with our smartphones. Surely some enterprising innovator will soon introduce an on-demand, clean bathroom service to disrupt the Big Toilet industry.
> 
> ...


I believe I deserve some credit, I came up with a similar thing last year as a joke on here lol. Except my idea was a drive thru.


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## RideShareJUNKIE (Jun 23, 2017)

i guess this is useful to some people/areas. seems like a bit too much but we do live in a single serving, compartmentalized, single serving, on demand society. only if the forefathers could see us now.


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## Veju (Apr 17, 2017)

I like the pop up urinals in the neds.


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## Rakos (Sep 2, 2014)

Sorry ahead of time...

I just couldn't resist...

commenting on this thread...

This is such a GREAT idea...

Just what I need...

For the occasional poo fight...

Lots of poo....8)

Rakos


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## Hawkdallas (Feb 16, 2017)

I would just want to drag one around so i wont have to stop at gross public restrooms to drop some dumpage


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## Rakos (Sep 2, 2014)

Now THAT IS FUNNY!!!

picturing in my little monkey brain...

Grim Reaper dragging around...

A portable potty...hahahaha...

"I've come for you....stop what you're doing...

In the potty"...

Now I'm really LMFAO....8)

Rakos


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## diehard88 (Dec 2, 2016)

Mr. G said:


> Can I share the toilet with up to 3 people? ToiletPool?


ToiletPoop
UberPoop
UberPool....


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## NYCFunDriver (Dec 31, 2016)

Oh for goodness sakes I drive in NYC. Free bathrooms are plentiful. Run into one of the local neighborhood bars. That's what I do. Guaranteed cleanliness. Dunkin Donuts and McDonalds work too. Blow off Starbucks as many don't have them.


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## edcayce (Feb 6, 2016)

By regulating one's eating habits one can regulate one's pooping habits. For peeing carry a big mouth bottle so urine is not spilled all over.


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## SilverToyota (Feb 27, 2017)

Great idea.


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## Travis -k (Sep 11, 2016)

Uberdriver2710 said:


> call a commode?


No it's "TELETERDS"


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## Rakos (Sep 2, 2014)

So...just thinking....do you think...

That they will take...pukers...

For a quarter you can...

Visit the ceramic gods...

And plead your heart right again....8)

Rakos

PS. Just dont forget to leave a tip!


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## llort (Oct 7, 2016)

I recieved what I consider to be an inappropriate PM from LAuberX on August 9, 2017.
Because of that PM, this comment is currently under edit.
The owner of uberpeople.net should be aware of this over-reach from LAuberX,
as this edit of my content contribution is the direct result of the PM I recieved.
Check back soon for edit updates while this content is updated.


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## Rakos (Sep 2, 2014)

llort said:


> Do you pay by the pound?
> Is there a Pooper Pool service?


OMG...dont tell me you have...

Floating logs....8)

I just throw them...I NEVER swim with them...8)

Rakos


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