# I got laid...



## JediPaladin

Saturday night

3 PAX: This dude, his girlfriend, and their 3rd-wheeling female friend

I start driving them to the bar they're headed to and I'm getting along great with the non-single girl. We are getting along so well that she even takes my email and wants me to send her my resume this week for a job interview...

We continue to get along well and they invite me to come to the bar with them. "Why not?"

We play pool, I partner up with the single girl, and we flirt all night. She sucked at pool. Horrible.

Anyways, I played it cool and she invited me back to her place and we got a little PG-13.

I made $100 and then got laid. It was a pretty good Saturday night

My only regret is that I missed out on some nice surges...


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## DocT

Too many things have gone wrong in similar situations with other drivers. I would not take that chance, married or not.


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## EX_

Pics or it didn't happen.


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## ColdRider

Ok.


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## Blackout 702

JediPaladin said:


> she invited me back to her place and we got a little PG-13... I made $100 and then got laid...


If that's what you call PG-13, I wonder what you consider NC-17? Donkeys? Midgets? Marie Osmond?


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## MSUGrad9902

You can't spend the "getting laid" on penicillin shots later. But you can spend an extra $200 later and you probably won't need penicillin shots, so you got that going for ya, which is nice.


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## Jimmy Bernat

I have had a girl ask me to come upstairs with her but she was drunk and I'm happily married . If I was single I probably would have been dumb enough to go , my southern head is not very intelligent 
So much can go wrong in these scenarios these days it's ridiculous but if you hung out for a while before I think it's safe . 

Nice work


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## steveK2016

Blackout 702 said:


> If that's what you call PG-13, I wonder what you consider NC-17? Donkeys? Midgets? Marie Osmond?


I was thinking the same thing. PG-13 is like... heavy petting through the clothes. Lol.

So which is it OP, did you get laid or did you just have a solid make out session?

Personally, I'll take the money... there's just too many possible issues that come up with sexual harassment and rape accusations out there with Uber drivers.


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## tohunt4me

Blackout 702 said:


> If that's what you call PG-13, I wonder what you consider NC-17? Donkeys? Midgets? Marie Osmond?


Kind of like the sound of Marie Osmond . . . hmmmmm


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## Blackout 702

tohunt4me said:


> Kind of like the sound of Marie Osmond . . . hmmmmm


I feel guilty even mentioning her name. You'll never meet a nicer person than her. But, yeah, she's hot.


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## tohunt4me

Blackout 702 said:


> I feel guilty even mentioning her name. You'll never meet a nicer person than her. But, yeah, she's hot.


Yes she is.


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## DriverX

JediPaladin said:


> My only regret is that I missed out on some nice surges...


Except that last surge right!

I had one of these once. Didn't need to waste a lot of time playing pool first. Couple glasses of wine that she bought and wham bam thank you ma'am and I was back on the road an hour-ish later in time for bar surge. She left me with a full bottle of Chardo as my tip.

Women can be such dirt bags its funny. They call us dogs, but as soon as they get horny they just go to bar or call an uber.


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## DriverX

MSUGrad9902 said:


> You can't spend the "getting laid" on penicillin shots later. But you can spend an extra $200 later and you probably won't need penicillin shots, so you got that going for ya, which is nice.


Jealous much?


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## MSUGrad9902

DriverX said:


> Jealous much?


Been married way too long to be jealous lolz.


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## DriverX

MSUGrad9902 said:


> Been married way too long to be jealous lolz.


I see, getting laid is a distant memory.


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## tohunt4me

DriverX said:


> Except that last surge right!
> 
> I had one of these once. Didn't need to waste a lot of time playing pool first. Couple glasses of wine that she bought and wham bam thank you ma'am and I was back on the road an hour-ish later in time for bar surge. She left me with a full bottle of Chardo as my tip.
> 
> Women can be such dirt bags its funny. They call us dogs, but as soon as they get horny they just go to bar or call an uber.





DriverX said:


> Except that last surge right!
> 
> I had one of these once. Didn't need to waste a lot of time playing pool first. Couple glasses of wine that she bought and wham bam thank you ma'am and I was back on the road an hour-ish later in time for bar surge. She left me with a full bottle of Chardo as my tip.
> 
> Women can be such dirt bags its funny. They call us dogs, but as soon as they get horny they just go to bar or call an uber.


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## tohunt4me

MSUGrad9902 said:


> Been married way too long to be jealous lolz.


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## Shangsta

MSUGrad9902 said:


> Been married way too long to be jealous lolz.


Assuming this story isnt another driver trying to seem cool.

If my Pax was willing to sleep with me the night I met her. I would wonder how many other drivers she has gotten with. Lose lose situation.


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## Red Leader

Know what happened in SF last night? A bunch of people got drunk and screwed. Know what didn't happen this morning?

Not nearly the amount of drama and sour grapes that is occurring on this board.


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## JediPaladin

Lol, there sure are some sour grapes in this thread


Shangsta said:


> Assuming this story isnt another driver trying to seem cool.
> 
> If my Pax was willing to sleep with me the night I met her. I would wonder how many other drivers she has gotten with. Lose lose situation.


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## DriverX

Some of these guys just never got laid until they got married so they are confused. THey probably also watch a lot of Disney movies and think all women are princesses. LOL if they only knew what their GFs and wives had been doing before them. Most women have a pretty big bag of images in their spank bank to draw from. They talk about it all the time when I'm driving them around, horrifying how promiscuous they can sound if you just act uninterested


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## TwoFiddyMile

I'm more interested in the $300.

Married.


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## Blackout 702

^
^
^
Paragon of virtue, and he can't wait to tell you all about it.


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## naplestom75

JediPaladin said:


> Saturday night
> 
> 3 PAX: This dude, his girlfriend, and their 3rd-wheeling female friend
> 
> I start driving them to the bar they're headed to and I'm getting along great with the non-single girl. We are getting along so well that she even takes my email and wants me to send her my resume this week for a job interview...
> 
> We continue to get along well and they invite me to come to the bar with them. "Why not?"
> 
> We play pool, I partner up with the single girl, and we flirt all night. She sucked at pool. Horrible.
> 
> Anyways, I played it cool and she invited me back to her place and we got a little PG-13.
> 
> I made $100 and then got laid. It was a pretty good Saturday night
> 
> My only regret is that I missed out on some nice surges...


Tell us about your girlfriend who lives in Canada too


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## DriverX

TwoFiddyMile said:


> I'm more interested in the $300.
> 
> Married.


It get more pricey when you marry them. Supply and demand and all.


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## TwoFiddyMile

DriverX said:


> It get more pricey when you marry them. Supply and demand and all.


This is all true.
Even more expensive to get rid of them.


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## Shangsta

JediPaladin said:


> Lol, there sure are some sour grapes in this thread


Lets see, I have a wife, beautiful children, a good job.

Why would I trade that to sleep with skanky pax? I guess to top it off I could make insults to everyone not giving me a pat on the back by calling them virgins who cant get any, yeah that will show them!


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## WeirdBob

Blackout 702 said:


> Donkeys? Midgets? Marie Osmond?


Or, as I call it, "Just another average Tuesday night".


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## TwoFiddyMile

Shangsta said:


> Lets see, I have a wife, beautiful children, a good job.
> 
> Why would I trade that to sleep with skanky pax? I guess to top it off I could make insults to everyone not giving me a pat on the back by calling them virgins who cant get any, yeah that will show them!


Another vote for $300.
We have a winnah!


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## Blackout 702

TwoFiddyMile said:


> Another vote for $300.
> We have a winnah!


Ok, ok, I agree. But you have to understand, this is very reluctantly.


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## MSUGrad9902

When you have daughters you may understand.


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## Blackout 702

MSUGrad9902 said:


> When you have daughters you may understand.


I might have many daughters. But I hope not.


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## JediPaladin

Blackout 702 said:


> I might have many daughters. But I hope not.


I might after this weekend


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## Lowestformofwit

Blackout 702 said:


> I feel guilty even mentioning her name. You'll never meet a nicer person than her. But, yeah, she's hot.


Well, if you feel that guilty about Marie, you still have your donkeys and midgets options open.


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## Gung-Ho

I love chicks with high standards. I mean you paid for a couple of drinks and a little pool and thats all it took for her to jump into bed with an uber driver.


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## Lowestformofwit

Gung-Ho said:


> I love chicks with high standards. I mean you paid for a couple of drinks and a little pool and thats all it took for her to jump into bed with an uber driver.


On that "bang for bucks" basis, then, the 300 bucks option would give you a hundred cash and at least six of those chicks.


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## BEXi

Yeeesh. Time for a q-tip down the peepee hole test. Whether you wrapped up, or not- better to be safe than sorry.


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## TwoFiddyMile

BEXi said:


> Yeeesh. Time for a q-tip down the peepee hole test. Whether you wrapped up, or not- better to be safe than sorry.


Again, a plus for marriage.
I never have to get another STD test.


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## Blackout 702

BEXi said:


> Yeeesh. Time for a q-tip down the peepee hole test. Whether you wrapped up, or not- better to be safe than sorry.


Nah. Russian roulette is a fun game.


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## Blackout 702

TwoFiddyMile said:


> Again, a plus for marriage.
> I never have to get another STD test.


Just keep telling yourself that.


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## TwoFiddyMile

Blackout 702 said:


> Just keep telling yourself that.


You remind me of a song by the band War.
You figure out which one.
Whatever it is you are opposed to in me actually has nothing to do with me


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## wk1102

BEXi said:


> Yeeesh. Time for a q-tip down the peepee hole


I usually have to pay extra for this... a lot extra!


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## Tr4vis Ka1anick

Blackout 702 said:


> If that's what you call PG-13, I wonder what you consider NC-17? Donkeys? Midgets? Marie Osmond?


All three playing twister on a leaking water bed.


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## Lost in the Ozone

All we have is your word. And as a college student, I hear the same brag almost daily.

"Wow man ~ I got laid last night!"


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## Lowestformofwit

Tr4vis Ka1anick said:


> All three playing twister on a leaking water bed.


If the bed's leaking, someone needs to improve their farrier's technique on that donkey's feet.
Or are we talking spurs here?


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## Lowestformofwit

Lost in the Ozone said:


> All we have is your word. And as a college student, I hear the same brag almost daily.
> 
> "Wow man ~ I got laid last night!"


Probably happened.
You can feel his genuine remorse about the "nice surges" he missed out on. (Well, he did get one, as DriverX pointed out).
Incidentally, DriverX seems to have his "procurement strategy" worked out well - he doesn't waste time "chalking his cue" upfront, and he takes payment in alcohol after.


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## Tr4vis Ka1anick

We are coming out with a brand cologne called Uber! "when you are done with the goober, come ride the Uber". We have already started with a leather, burnt cedar smell with a hint of vanilla, citrus and wolf pheromones. Incidentally, my hormones and wolf pheromones almost smell the same except mine are more animalistic and barbaric. Imagine Thor in a wolf pelt with fuzzy bunny slippers.


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## CrazyT

Tr4vis Ka1anick said:


> We are coming out with a brand cologne called Uber! "when you are done with the goober, come ride the Uber". We have already started with a leather, burnt cedar smell with a hint of vanilla, citrus and wolf pheromones. Incidentally, my hormones and wolf pheromones almost smell the same except mine are more animalistic and barbaric. Imagine Thor in a wolf pelt with fuzzy bunny slippers.


Add the scent of weed and you got yourself a winner.

I'll expect my royalty checks for that little product development.


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## wk1102

CrazyT said:


> Add the scent of weed and you got yourself a winner.
> 
> I'll expect my royalty checks for that little product development.


Lol like Uber ever pays for any idea yhey"borrow"...

Good one... funny stuff


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## Stan07

No disrespect to the poster but this story reminded me the diner scene from the Taxi Driver!


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## DriverX

MSUGrad9902 said:


> When you have daughters you may understand.


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## DriverX

Tr4vis Ka1anick said:


> We are coming out with a brand cologne called Uber! "when you are done with the goober, come ride the Uber". We have already started with a leather, burnt cedar smell with a hint of vanilla, citrus and wolf pheromones. Incidentally, my hormones and wolf pheromones almost smell the same except mine are more animalistic and barbaric. Imagine Thor in a wolf pelt with fuzzy bunny slippers.


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## DriverX

TwoFiddyMile said:


> You remind me of a song by the band War.
> You figure out which one.
> Whatever it is you are opposed to in me actually has nothing to do with me


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## TwoFiddyMile

DriverX said:


>


Great song, not the one I was thinking of.


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## PTUber

Shangsta said:


> Lets see, I have a wife, beautiful children, a good job.
> 
> Why would I trade that to sleep with skanky pax? I guess to top it off I could make insults to everyone not giving me a pat on the back by calling them virgins who cant get any, yeah that will show them!


Of course you wouldn't now but this guy is probably young and single. Put yourself in his place not the one your in now. And why is she a "*****"? FYI I am also married with children so I'm out.


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## Blackout 702

TwoFiddyMile said:


> You remind me of a song by the band War.
> You figure out which one.


Awwww... How sweet.


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## Cullen

This thread is diamonds!


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## Shangsta

PTUber said:


> Of course you wouldn't now but this guy is probably young and single. Put yourself in his place not the one your in now. And why is she a "*****"? FYI I am also married with children so I'm out.


I acceot your first point but sleeping with an Uber driver you just met? How many other drivers has she slept with?


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## Blackout 702

Shangsta said:


> I acceot your first point but sleeping with an Uber driver you just met? How many other drivers has she slept with?


I don't understand this attitude. It borders on female shaming. A guy says he has sex with a girl he just met and the only question is how many other guys has she slept with. What about him? Why is the female suddenly the health risk in this situation?

People have one night stands. A lot. It doesn't make anyone promiscuous or a crazy person or a danger to the "innocent" party, as if one is somehow more "guilty" of something than the other.

Also people meet in all kinds of ways. A passenger being interested in a driver, or vice versa, is just two humans making a connection. Would it be better if they met while volunteering at a homeless shelter or sitting next to each other in church?

(edited by mods because I used naughty words)


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## Uberchampion

JediPaladin said:


> Saturday night
> 
> 3 PAX: This dude, his girlfriend, and their 3rd-wheeling female friend
> 
> I start driving them to the bar they're headed to and I'm getting along great with the non-single girl. We are getting along so well that she even takes my email and wants me to send her my resume this week for a job interview...
> 
> We continue to get along well and they invite me to come to the bar with them. "Why not?"
> 
> We play pool, I partner up with the single girl, and we flirt all night. She sucked at pool. Horrible.
> 
> Anyways, I played it cool and she invited me back to her place and we got a little PG-13.
> 
> I made $100 and then got laid. It was a pretty good Saturday night
> 
> My only regret is that I missed out on some nice surges...


Sounds like you had at least one surge


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## TwoFiddyMile

Blackout 702 said:


> Awwww... How sweet.


You get points for knowing the song.
You won't understand the sarcasm.


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## Blackout 702

TwoFiddyMile said:


> You get points for knowing the song.
> You won't understand the sarcasm.


Points from you? My day is complete.


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## Shangsta

Blackout 702 said:


> I don't understand this attitude. It borders on sl-ut shaming. A guy says he has sex with a girl he just met and the only question is how many other guys has she slept with. What about him? Why is the female suddenly the health risk in this situation?
> 
> People have one night stands. A lot. It doesn't make anyone a sl-ut or a crazy person or a danger to the "innocent" party, as if one is somehow more "guilty" of something than the other.
> 
> Also people meet in all kinds of ways. A passenger being interested in a driver, or vice versa, is just two humans making a connection. Would it be better if they met while volunteering at a homeless shelter or sitting next to each other in church?


Different strokes for different folks I suppose. As a driver I think its unprofessional to hook up with your Pax.


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## Blackout 702

Shangsta said:


> As a driver I think its unprofessional to hook up with your Pax.


Super. As a haberdasher I think it's ghastly to wear a porkpie hat with a brim greater than 2 inches.


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## TwoFiddyMile




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## EX_

TwoFiddyMile said:


> Again, a plus for marriage.
> I never have to get another STD test.


I'm wouldn't be so sure. Thots are everywhere these days.


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## tohunt4me

Blackout 702 said:


> Nah. Russian roulette is a fun game.


5 out of 6 people enjoy Russian Roulette.


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## Fishchris

Best possible choice is;

Make $300 driving, then go home and have awesome sex with my GF ☺

No condoms, no worries ☺

I have absolutely zero reason to cheat on my GF. Super lucky to have her ☺


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## Lowestformofwit

Fishchris said:


> Best possible choice is;
> Make $300 driving, then go home and have awesome sex with my GF ☺
> No condoms, no worries ☺
> I have absolutely zero reason to cheat on my GF. Super lucky to have her ☺


Girls always go for the guy with the most money, so you're one up.
Fidelity and freedom from the clap get you bonus points, too.
I'm obviously preaching to the converted though; enjoy!


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## CrazyT

Of course there's always my route: Make the $300, go home, soak in a warm bath, make a comment about my back bothering me, get a massage from hubby, release a little tension, nap, go back out driving at 3am.


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## Poopy54

tohunt4me said:


> Kind of like the sound of Marie Osmond . . . hmmmmm


Think she has had some stretchy stretch work done on her face??


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## UTX1

Fishchris said:


> Best possible choice is;
> Make $300 driving, then go home and have awesome sex with my GF ☺


But what if we don't live in Sacramento ?

edit: oh...wait a minute...for a moment I thought we were all invited over. my bad.
sometime people are extremely generous but that'd be a bit over the top.


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## K-pax

Also married. I want that $300. Virtue has nothing to do with it: Just not interested in cruising around for chicks. Happy with the one I've got. To each their own, I guess.


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## I_Like_Spam

JediPaladin said:


> I made $100 and then got laid. It was a pretty good Saturday night
> 
> My only regret is that I missed out on some nice surges...


In the cab driving profession, any sex that went on was done in the cab. One of the advantages of having a full sized car or wagon.

I picked up an ex-driver named Murph over at St. Joe's House of Hospitality in the 90's, and he gave me the whole rundown as to when a driver should accept sex in exchange for a fare. Murph mentored me, advising the variables of the algorithm- the length of the trip, the attractiveness of the dame, and the horniness of the driver.

The algorithm hasn't been reduced to code yet, so just make your best decision and good luck on this


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## Adieu

MSUGrad9902 said:


> You can't spend the "getting laid" on penicillin shots later. But you can spend an extra $200 later and you probably won't need penicillin shots, so you got that going for ya, which is nice.


One word:

VETERINARY SUPPLY

Well okay two words....made in USA by reputable phatmaceutical company, no script, all for pennies vs. $170 scripts for dodgy made in India mess from crooked doctors

Animals get better meds here, since cattle is big busine$$. Also veterinary degrees take more education to get than an MD

welcome to the U$A


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## Adieu

For straight guys (who don't shoot smack with shared needles), the female is THE SOLE HEALTH RISK as far as stds are concerned

-Capt Obvious to the rescue



Blackout 702 said:


> I don't understand this attitude. It borders on female shaming. A guy says he has sex with a girl he just met and the only question is how many other guys has she slept with. What about him? Why is the female suddenly the health risk in this situation?
> 
> People have one night stands. A lot. It doesn't make anyone promiscuous or a crazy person or a danger to the "innocent" party, as if one is somehow more "guilty" of something than the other.
> 
> Also people meet in all kinds of ways. A passenger being interested in a driver, or vice versa, is just two humans making a connection. Would it be better if they met while volunteering at a homeless shelter or sitting next to each other in church?


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## Blackout 702

Adieu said:


> For straight guys (who don't shoot smack with shared needles), the female is THE SOLE HEALTH RISK as far as stds are concerned
> 
> -Capt Obvious to the rescue


Right, and all of those disgusting infected women are catching these diseases from... other women?


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## Adieu

Blackout 702 said:


> Right, and all of those disgusting infected women are catching these diseases from... other women?


Junkies and zoophiles, according to the TV

...anyways, don't ask don't tell


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## play2008

"Shesucked at pool. Horrible" LOL


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## UTX1

play2008 said:


> "She sucked at pool. Horrible" LOL


I think the pool closes at 10pm, so that's a good time to do this....when the life guard's not around.


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## Lowestformofwit

play2008 said:


> "Shesucked at pool. Horrible" LOL


Thought he meant Uber Pool.
It really sucks, and it's horrible.


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## TwoFiddyMile

STD.
I really dug that band.


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## Lowestformofwit

TwoFiddyMile said:


> STD.
> I really dug that band.


Didn't they release "Clap for the milkman" (or some other kind of man)?


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## Uberchampion

Fishchris said:


> Best possible choice is;
> 
> Make $300 driving, then go home and have awesome sex with my GF ☺
> 
> No condoms, no worries ☺
> 
> I have absolutely zero reason to cheat on my GF. Super lucky to have her ☺


Thats sweet. tmi. but sweet.


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## TwoFiddyMile

Lowestformofwit said:


> Didn't they release "Clap for the milkman" (or some other kind of man)?


"Takes time, with an itchy hand, I just copped a feeeeeel".
Wasn't that the lyric?


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## Kalee

JediPaladin said:


> Saturday night
> 
> 3 PAX: This dude, his girlfriend, and their 3rd-wheeling female friend
> 
> I start driving them to the bar they're headed to and I'm getting along great with the non-single girl. We are getting along so well that she even takes my email and wants me to send her my resume this week for a job interview...
> 
> We continue to get along well and they invite me to come to the bar with them. "Why not?"
> 
> We play pool, I partner up with the single girl, and we flirt all night. She sucked at pool. Horrible.
> 
> Anyways, I played it cool and she invited me back to her place and we got a little PG-13.
> 
> I made $100 and then got laid. It was a pretty good Saturday night
> 
> My only regret is that I missed out on some nice surges...


Did you tip her?


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## hangarcat

Jimmy Bernat said:


> I have had a girl ask me to come upstairs with her but she was drunk and I'm happily married . If I was single I probably would have been dumb enough to go , my southern head is not very intelligent
> So much can go wrong in these scenarios these days it's ridiculous but if you hung out for a while before I think it's safe .
> 
> Nice work


Be very careful. Lots of hustlers out there looking for blackmail victims.


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## I_Like_Spam

hangarcat said:


> Be very careful. Lots of hustlers out there looking for blackmail victims.


Always be careful, needless to say.

But a criminal who would target an Uber partner for blackmail is a real loser among losers. It would seem smarter to target a politician, celebrity or wealthy scion.

Extorting $$ from an Uber driver is akin to stealing pens from a bank.


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## jeep45238

The fun can come and go, but herpes is forever.


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## TwoFiddyMile

jeep45238 said:


> The fun can come and go, but herpes is forever.


I'm so happy I was an awkward wallflower.


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## Samuel ad

Stupid, getting sex is easy. But risking a (potential) sexual assault is stupid-especially if there is booze involved.


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## MSUGrad9902

Not for nothing, but I did get this in my fortune cookie today.....


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## TwoFiddyMile

MSUGrad9902 said:


> Not for nothing, but I did get this in my fortune cookie today.....


Translation-"the condom would have been only $1".


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## the rebel

I_Like_Spam said:


> Always be careful, needless to say.
> 
> But a criminal who would target an Uber partner for blackmail is a real loser among losers. It would seem smarter to target a politician, celebrity or wealthy scion.
> 
> Extorting $$ from an Uber driver is akin to stealing pens from a bank.


some may think they will get a quick easy settlement from Uber, if they do not realize that Uber spends more money on Lawyers than they do customer service agents.


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## d0n

Here is what really happened:

OP was made to believe the chick was interested, went with her and the other 2 friends, paid for everyone's drinks/entertainment, they left in a Lyft.


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## stevedmc

Who on earth is making $300 a night?


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## jeep45238

stevedmc said:


> Who on earth is making $300 a night?


I did mid 200s last Saturday night, but only due to a cleanup fee of 150.


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## rleezx

Pics or it didn't happen


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## YorkieLover

EX_ said:


> Pics or it didn't happen.





rleezx said:


> Pics or it didn't happen


I'm in the same squad with these guys, ditto on the pix.


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## Oscar Levant

JediPaladin said:


> Saturday night
> 
> 3 PAX: This dude, his girlfriend, and their 3rd-wheeling female friend
> 
> I start driving them to the bar they're headed to and I'm getting along great with the non-single girl. We are getting along so well that she even takes my email and wants me to send her my resume this week for a job interview...
> 
> We continue to get along well and they invite me to come to the bar with them. "Why not?"
> 
> We play pool, I partner up with the single girl, and we flirt all night. She sucked at pool. Horrible.
> 
> Anyways, I played it cool and she invited me back to her place and we got a little PG-13.
> 
> I made $100 and then got laid. It was a pretty good Saturday night
> 
> My only regret is that I missed out on some nice surges...


You missed some surges due to urges.

Sorry I couldn't resist


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## Dammit Mazzacane

The only safety net here, maybe, is that her friends were part of the group.

Never take a drunk passenger home and have sex with her ... All it takes is a he said/she said and you get the jail time for sexual assault or rape.

Unless you bring the dash cam into her house... But that's too weird.


----------



## ChortlingCrison

This is a wonderful and helpful thread.


----------



## JediPaladin

I'll just clarify that the girl I went home with was not skanky.

We used protection and I spent a good few hours getting to know her at the bar. We clicked pretty well actually.


Also.... Update: This past weekend I actually went inside with a 39 year old woman after just a 10 minute drive... God that was a horrible experience.

She asked me "When can I see you again?"

I responded, "I thought this was just a one time thing. I'm your ****ing Uber driver."

She screamed at me, calling me a d*****bag and an a**hole. "You probably treat all your Uber girls like this!!!!"

What the **** man?... I'm 15 years younger than her. I owe her nothing.


----------



## ChortlingCrison

JediPaladin said:


> I'll just clarify that the girl I went home with was not skanky.
> 
> We used protection and I spent a good few hours getting to know her at the bar. We clicked pretty well actually.
> 
> Also.... Update: This past weekend I actually went inside with a 39 year old woman after just a 10 minute drive... God that was a horrible experience.
> 
> She asked me "When can I see you again?"
> 
> I responded, "I thought this was just a one time thing. I'm your &%[email protected]!*ing Uber driver."
> 
> She screamed at me, calling me a d*****bag and an a**hole. "You probably treat all your Uber girls like this!!!!"
> 
> What the &%[email protected]!* man?... I'm 15 years younger than her. I owe her nothing.


Did she leave a tip?


----------



## JediPaladin

Oh I also have another story.

I drove this family to a restaurant this past weekend around 7:30pm. It was a dad, mom, and two high school daughters.

We get to the restaurant, the dad tips me $10, and then he asks me, "Hey, are you hungry?"

Me: "Y-yeah...."

Dad: "You want to come in with us? I'll buy you dinner"

Me: "Uhh... ok"

And then he bought me a delicious $20 salmon dinner and I talked with the mom and daughters about Jesus

It was a lovely time. I drove them back to their hotel free of charge after that


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## JediPaladin

ChortlingCrison said:


> Did she leave a tip?


No... She didn't. ONE STAR


----------



## ChortlingCrison

Some pax are just tougher to please then others.


----------



## Bwood

JediPaladin said:


> I'll just clarify that the girl I went home with was not skanky.
> 
> We used protection and I spent a good few hours getting to know her at the bar. We clicked pretty well actually.
> 
> Also.... Update: This past weekend I actually went inside with a 39 year old woman after just a 10 minute drive... God that was a horrible experience.
> 
> She asked me "When can I see you again?"
> 
> I responded, "I thought this was just a one time thing. I'm your &%[email protected]!*ing Uber driver."
> 
> She screamed at me, calling me a d*****bag and an a**hole. "You probably treat all your Uber girls like this!!!!"
> 
> What the &%[email protected]!* man?... I'm 15 years younger than her. I owe her nothing.


be honest with the bros here, would you consider yourself a good looking guy in good shape? or are these women really not that great looking or in that great of shape?


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## Freddie Blimeau

JediPaladin said:


> Also.... Update: This past weekend I actually went inside with a 39 year old woman after just a 10 minute drive... God that was a horrible experience.


I don't know where you're at or what to women are like there but I gotta' tell ya' , they got some SMOKIN' older women here. I didn't even know I liked older women until I started driving for Uber

The 1st 1 was 40 and I still get weak in the knees thinking about her. She wanted to know if. 'it was true what they said about white boys' .

Since then & after a few more experiences, I can't stop singing the praises of older women. My preferred range is 30-43, but I've stretched it on occasion & never been sorry I did.


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## Blackout 702

JediPaladin said:


> What the &%[email protected]!* man?... I'm 15 years younger than her. I owe her nothing.


I want to be you when I grow up.


----------



## TwoFiddyMile

Bwood said:


> be honest with the bros here, would you consider yourself a good looking guy in good shape? or are these women really not that great looking or in that great of shape?


Everyone on the web is a 10 with either a 10 inch unit or boobs of glory.


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## JediPaladin

Bwood said:


> be honest with the bros here, would you consider yourself a good looking guy in good shape? or are these women really not that great looking or in that great of shape?


My honest self-appraisal: Face: 8/10, Body: 5/10

I might be over-critical of my body. I gained 40 pounds 3 years ago and have been struggling to take it off. I lost 23 pounds in the last year and I'm consistantly exercising but still look a little chubby


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## Bwood

JediPaladin said:


> My honest self-appraisal: Face: 8/10, Body: 5/10
> 
> I might be over-critical of my body. I gained 40 pounds 3 years ago and have been struggling to take it off. I lost 23 pounds in the last year and I'm consistantly exercising but still look a little chubby


and the girls?


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## Shangsta

Bwood said:


> and the girls?


....


----------



## JediPaladin

Bwood said:


> and the girls?


The girl from last week was beautiful

The MILF from this weekend was bleh


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## Beachbum in a cornfield

Shangsta said:


> Assuming this story isnt another driver trying to seem cool.
> 
> If my Pax was willing to sleep with me the night I met her. I would wonder how many other drivers she has gotten with. Lose lose situation.


Why would you wonder???....bedding a ride share driver is what most women dream about right???


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## DriverX

Shangsta said:


> Different strokes for different folks I suppose. As a driver I think its unprofessional to hook up with your Pax.


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## wk1102

TwoFiddyMile said:


> Everyone on the web is a 10 with either a 10 inch unit or boobs of glory.


I've got a solid c-cup :/


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## DriverX

hangarcat said:


> Be very careful. Lots of hustlers out there looking for blackmail victims.


Have sex with your Uber driver so you can blackmail them, now that sounds profitable.


Freddie Blimeau said:


> I don't know where you're at or what to women are like there but I gotta' tell ya' , they got some SMOKIN' older women here. I didn't even know I liked older women until I started driving for Uber
> 
> The 1st 1 was 40 and I still get weak in the knees thinking about her. She wanted to know if. 'it was true what they said about white boys' .
> 
> Since then & after a few more experiences, I can't stop singing the praises of older women. My preferred range is 30-43, but I've stretched it on occasion & never been sorry I did.


what do they say about white boys?


----------



## DriverX

I can tell most of the commentators on this thread are products of Nancy Reagan's Just Say NO to everything campaign. We had the AIDS scare of the 80s drilled into us from Jr. High through College. A really terrible time in America for people hitting their sexual prime. And most of it was total religious, racist, and homophobic propaganda, but it worked and created a generation of repressed adults that act out in weird ways because they were too scared to bang it out while they could. Hence, the internet extreme porno fetishism that so many of you indulge in. and drunk women banging their Uber drivers. Porn doesn't really work for women becasue they can just call an uber or go to a bar and get the real thing.

If you guys are so confident in your water tight relationships, just look at the divorce rate for your peer group. Generally these marriages end because of infidelity, and usually one of the parties didn't see it coming. 

The funny thing is your kids are products of the internet and they are having sex younger and freakier than you ever did. AIDS hasn't spiked and STD rates really havent changed much, but new ones like HPV are on the rise, but that's just Globalism exposing us all to a shrinking planet.


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## CrazyT

DriverX said:


> Have sex with your Uber driver so you can blackmail them, now that sounds profitable.
> 
> what do they say about white boys?


The only thing I've heard is there are certain ethnic groups where the men in general do not give oral on their women. White boys tend to be more up for it.

Just what I'm told.


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## DriverX

CrazyT said:


> The only thing I've heard is there are certain ethnic groups where the men in general do not give oral on their women. White boys tend to be more up for it.
> 
> Just what I'm told.


Oh that old wives tale. LOL

I wouldn't go down on a one night stand. hell no. but I've heard some stories.


----------



## CrazyT

DriverX said:


> Oh that old wives tale. LOL
> 
> I wouldn't go down on a one night stand. hell no. but I've heard some stories.


Yep. And from my experience that one ranks up there with the size of a guys hands on the ridiculous scale.


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## JediPaladin

This thread has gotten quite kinky


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## CrazyT

JediPaladin said:


> This thread has gotten quite kinky


I didn't see anyone mention a chicken.


----------



## DriverX

CrazyT said:


> I didn't see anyone mention a chicken.


Using a feather is kinky, using the whole chicken is perverted.


----------



## Freddie Blimeau

CrazyT said:


> . White boys tend to be more up for it.


When the hood women hit on me, the question usually starts. 'Is it true what they say about white boys? ' Of course. I pretend I don't know what they're taking about. What usually happens is they ask if we're naturally born to it & are better at it than any one else. Usually I tell my questioner I've never taken a poll or anything, so I really don't know. Shortly after that comes an invite to help her with her' research' . Of course, I accept.



DriverX said:


> Oh that old wives tale. LOL


I don't care if it's an 'old wives' tale' or no, it gets me more action than I, even at my young age, can handle.


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## DriverX

Freddie Blimeau said:


> When the hood women hit on me, the question usually starts. 'Is it true what they say about white boys? ' Of course. I pretend I don't know what they're taking about. What usually happens is they ask if we're naturally born to it & are better at it than any one else. Usually I tell my questioner I've never taken a poll or anything, so I really don't know. Shortly after that comes an invite to help her with her' research' . Of course, I accept.
> 
> I don't care if it's an 'old wives' tale' or no, it gets me more action than I, even at my young age, can handle.


And you follow through? things can get a little funky down there after a long day or a night at the bar. I reserve that action for more intimate encounters and a fresh shower nearby. I actually think oral is much more personal and intimate, cause its your face up in someones crotch. some guys like it raw though.


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## Freddie Blimeau

Funky? Nawwwww. I don't usually work at night so I don't get propositioned by bar pax too much anyhow. Still, the last thing I'd describe it as is 'funky' .

I guess I shouldn't tell you what else I'm not repelled by.


----------



## DriverX

Freddie Blimeau said:


> Funky? Nawwwww. I don't usually work at night so I don't get propositioned by bar pax too much anyhow. Still, the last thing I'd describe it as is 'funky' .
> 
> I guess I shouldn't tell you what else I'm not repelled by.


thanks for sparing us, that definitely requires a shower. lol


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## TwoFiddyMile

DriverX said:


> And you follow through? things can get a little funky down there after a long day or a night at the bar. I reserve that action for more intimate encounters and a fresh shower nearby. I actually think oral is much more personal and intimate, cause its your face up in someones crotch. some guys like it raw though.


Invite them to shower with you.
Are we civilized men, or troglodytes?


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## 60000_TaxiFares

I happen to know thru empirical evidence that when younger , from some bar pickups , probably after the equivalent of 4 vodka's and some beers, to some fares I was one hot piece of tail.

Almost all men.

Stay Safe

CC


----------



## SMOTY

JediPaladin said:


> Saturday night
> 
> 3 PAX: This dude, his girlfriend, and their 3rd-wheeling female friend
> 
> I start driving them to the bar they're headed to and I'm getting along great with the non-single girl. We are getting along so well that she even takes my email and wants me to send her my resume this week for a job interview...
> 
> We continue to get along well and they invite me to come to the bar with them. "Why not?"
> 
> We play pool, I partner up with the single girl, and we flirt all night. She sucked at pool. Horrible.
> 
> Anyways, I played it cool and she invited me back to her place and we got a little PG-13.
> 
> I made $100 and then got laid. It was a pretty good Saturday night
> 
> My only regret is that I missed out on some nice surges...


You say pg 13 then got laid 100$??? That's all fishy. She gave you 100$ to lay her or was it for the ride either I'm calling BS like we drivers say. PIC OR IT DID NOT HAPPEN!!!


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## MonkeyTOES

You are lucky. Never mix business with pleasure. Lol


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## Blackout 702

I once dated a girl I worked with. Got fired. Totally worth it.


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## JediPaladin

Blackout 702 said:


> I once dated a girl I worked with. Got fired. Totally worth it.


I was sleeping with my manager for 2 weeks at my last restaurant job. Got fired a few months later. Totally worth it


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## Bluecrab

JediPaladin said:


> I was sleeping with my manager for 2 weeks at my last restaurant job. Got fired a few months later. Totally worth it


I married a co-worker. When we got divorced it cost me a fortune. Totally worth it!


----------



## Istvan

I own my business don't sleep with any of my employees ...totally worth it


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## K-pax

DriverX said:


> Using a feather is kinky, using the whole chicken is perverted.


Using a mud shark is golden.


----------



## uberdavid

I had a woman once invite me in the house and said she would do anything I wanted ....well I said NO I am a professional Uber driver 
and I can not do that ! I drove off thinking to myself some unlucky guy out there is going to probably get lucky with My EX


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## JimKE

uberdavid said:


> I had a woman once invite me in the house and said she would do anything I wanted ....well I said NO I am a professional Uber driver
> and I can not do that ! I drove off thinking to myself some unlucky guy out there is going to probably get lucky with My EX


Taking morals, professionalism, and all that stuff completely out of the equation -- any pax making that kind of offer after a 15 minute ride is either a) too drunk to be worth the effort, or b) crazy enough to be a real problem in any number of ways.

If you say yes, good luck to you, and I hope you have great health insurance. If you say no, they get insulted and make a complaint. No way to win there -- just one more downside to working the drunk runs.


----------



## Steven Ambrose

Risky, risky, risky, but hey who am I to judge?


----------



## Steven Ambrose

Blackout 702 said:


> If that's what you call PG-13, I wonder what you consider NC-17? Donkeys? Midgets? Marie Osmond?


LMQAO! Funniest post in a while.


----------



## JediPaladin

JimKE said:


> Taking morals, professionalism, and all that stuff completely out of the equation -- any pax making that kind of offer after a 15 minute ride is either a) too drunk to be worth the effort, or b) crazy enough to be a real problem in any number of ways.
> 
> If you say yes, good luck to you, and I hope you have great health insurance. If you say no, they get insulted and make a complaint. No way to win there -- just one more downside to working the drunk runs.


Damn, you said it best


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## UberNomad

That doesn't seem smart to me, but hey good for you. lol


----------



## me2

Iv had way to many complantes from female riders or ones that were way to happy to see that I was a women because male drivers have hit on them this is not ok and is creepy even if the women seems like she dose not mind chances are she is scared and creeped out because as the driver you have all the power and she dare not make you upset while she has no way out. Please do not use ubering to get laid. Also as women we are taught not to complains about it because we will not be taken seriously so don't think that just because you did not get flagged for doing so you have done nothing wrong


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## Blackout 702

Has anyone even read the original post? The guy met a girl who invited him to a bar. They spent the whole evening together playing pool and having a good time. She invited him back to her place at the end of the night and they had sex. Suddenly he's a predator, she's Typhoid Mary, and half the people here transform into priests and nuns.


----------



## SurgeorSuckit

Blackout 702 said:


> Marie Osmond?


HAHAHAHAHAHA


----------



## ChortlingCrison

Lady GAGA?


----------



## Crownvic 60

JediPaladin said:


> Lol, there sure are some sour grapes in this thread


Was wondering what sis was doing these days!


----------



## JediPaladin

me2 said:


> Iv had way to many complantes from female riders or ones that were way to happy to see that I was a women because male drivers have hit on them this is not ok and is creepy even if the women seems like she dose not mind chances are she is scared and creeped out because as the driver you have all the power and she dare not make you upset while she has no way out. Please do not use ubering to get laid. Also as women we are taught not to complains about it because we will not be taken seriously so don't think that just because you did not get flagged for doing so you have done nothing wrong


Your female customers who complain to you do not represent the entire female population.

Additionally, being a young male with a sex drive does not make me a reflection of the caricature-like creepy man.

I'll remind you that the two stories I have told you in this thread included the fact that it was the female who initiated onto me and everything that happened was consensual.

I will also reiterate that the second woman I slept with got in my car and was complementing me, rubbing my thigh, and devouring me with her eyes. I did not touch her or kiss her until I had ended the trip and gone "Offline."


----------



## Crownvic 60

Blackout 702 said:


> I don't understand this attitude. It borders on female shaming. A guy says he has sex with a girl he just met and the only question is how many other guys has she slept with. What about him? Why is the female suddenly the health risk in this situation?
> 
> People have one night stands. A lot. It doesn't make anyone promiscuous or a crazy person or a danger to the "innocent" party, as if one is somehow more "guilty" of something than the other.
> 
> Also people meet in all kinds of ways. A passenger being interested in a driver, or vice versa, is just two humans making a connection. Would it be better if they met while volunteering at a homeless shelter or sitting next to each other in church?
> 
> (edited by mods because I used naughty words)


Come on all they did was SLEEP right?


----------



## Blackout 702

Crownvic 60 said:


> Come on all they did was SLEEP right?


No man, they did the nasty.

I heart this thread.


----------



## Crownvic 60

Blackout 702 said:


> No man, they did the nasty.
> 
> I heart this thread.


Oooooohhhhh I'm tellin!!!!LOL


----------



## Mr Luc Ky

here's a tip to avoid all kind of troubles, after you dropped off your willing passenger, end the ride and give your number.. drive off and if they call your cell, you are off the hook cause that's an invitation.. your welcome


----------



## LASAC_BER

Blackout 702 said:


> I once dated a girl I worked with. Got fired. Totally worth it.


Same. Well, sorta. I was encouraged to resign. VERY worth it. I still have photos safe in my email 
I was winding down the job anyway...don't really last long working 70 hour weeks on a 40 hour salary.


----------



## Braden Scott

tohunt4me said:


> Kind of like the sound of Marie Osmond . . . hmmmmm


Me too!


----------



## somedriverguy

TwoFiddyMile said:


> Invite them to shower with you.
> Are we civilized men, or troglodytes?


"Are we not men? We are DEVO."


----------



## Lets_Eat

JediPaladin said:


> Lol, there sure are some sour grapes in this thread


Absolutely, the King of sour grapes are in the Los Angeles Forum. 2nd: rest of the country.


----------



## Grahamcracker

DriverX said:


> Jealous much?


Yes


----------



## DriverX

uberdavid said:


> I had a woman once invite me in the house and said she would do anything I wanted ....well I said NO I am a professional Uber driver
> and I can not do that ! I drove off thinking to myself some unlucky guy out there is going to probably get lucky with My EX


It was me. I had her wash my car!


----------



## DriverX

JimKE said:


> Taking morals, professionalism, and all that stuff completely out of the equation -- any pax making that kind of offer after a 15 minute ride is either a) too drunk to be worth the effort, or b) crazy enough to be a real problem in any number of ways.
> 
> If you say yes, good luck to you, and I hope you have great health insurance. If you say no, they get insulted and make a complaint. No way to win there -- just one more downside to working the drunk runs.


That's an awfully gay logo for such a prude to use as avatar.


----------



## Grahamcracker

My wife would divorce me after she castrated me if I took sex from a stranger over making her $300 for sure.


----------



## uberfraud

Video or it's a total fabrication.


----------



## TimmyWeekend

I can’t get this lucky. i’ll be 52 next week. I’m a fairly attractive guy, from what ladies tell me. every time I get hit on, it’s by a drunk married woman.

you’d be amazed about how many married women are out there looking for a side pieces.


----------



## ColdRider

TimmyWeekend said:


> I can't get this lucky. i'll be 52 next week. I'm a fairly attractive guy, from what ladies tell me. every time I get hit on, it's by a drunk married woman.
> 
> you'd be amazed about how many married women are out there looking for a side pieces.


Bro, this old ass thread. What were you searching to find this dead topic?


----------



## TimmyWeekend

ColdRider said:


> Bro, this old ass thread. What were you searching to find this dead topic?


I get the Uberpeople.net and I was looking at another thread. And this came up. No clue! &#128514;&#128514;


----------



## tohunt4me

Blackout 702 said:


> If that's what you call PG-13, I wonder what you consider NC-17? Donkeys? Midgets? Marie Osmond?


Marie Osmond ????


----------

