# Customer is not the enemy , I'm trying to figure out why so many problems it's NOT the norm



## 20yearsdriving (Dec 14, 2014)

I know for a fact the problem rate is less than 1% yes less than 1% in this bussiness why is UBER problem rate so high please be constructive


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## UberHammer (Dec 5, 2014)

You are in more desperate need of a period than any woman in history.


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## 20yearsdriving (Dec 14, 2014)

20yearsdriving said:


> I know for a fact the problem rate is less than 1% yes less than 1% why is UBER problem rate so high please be constructive





UberHammer said:


> You are in more desperate need of a period than any woman in history.


interesting point I guess ?


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## Simon (Jan 4, 2015)

I it's not the customer's fault that the system is flawed. Unfortunately we have no other choice but the service the way we are servicing now, by not taking pick ups more than five or ten minutes away, just working during certain times or just taking the guarantees. The customer is the one that's going to suffer and its really not their fault.


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## Fuzzyelvis (Dec 7, 2014)

UberHammer said:


> You are in more desperate need of a period than any woman in history.


happens to me too its called voice recognition it doesn't have any idea about punctuation


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## Showa50 (Nov 30, 2014)

Fuzzyelvis said:


> happens to me too its called voice recognition it doesn't have any idea about punctuation


I always thought you could say they punctuation and it can insert it. Don't blame the tech


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## Fuzzyelvis (Dec 7, 2014)

Showa50 said:


> I always thought you could say they punctuation and it can insert it. Don't blame the tech


oh you mean like say they punctuation


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## Showa50 (Nov 30, 2014)

Fuzzyelvis said:


> oh you mean like say they punctuation


Lol, Are u guys on this forum while driving?


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## Simon (Jan 4, 2015)

They are grammer jacking the thread. Lol


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## 20yearsdriving (Dec 14, 2014)

Simon said:


> I it's not the customer's fault that the system is flawed. Unfortunately we have no other choice but the service the way we are servicing now, by not taking pick ups more than five or ten minutes away, just working during certain times or just taking the guarantees. The customer is the one that's going to suffer and its really not their fault.





Simon said:


> I it's not the customer's fault that the system is flawed. Unfortunately we have no other choice but the service the way we are servicing now, by not taking pick ups more than five or ten minutes away, just working during certain times or just taking the guarantees. The customer is the one that's going to suffer and its really not their fault.


i think uber is the only bussiness where this is possible, there in no other bussiness I can think if where this happens yet uber is expanding ?? Uber had taken most of the small competitors in my area out of bussiness a year ago , I suspect the Last 2 rate cuts where no longer aimed at competitors they where aimed at customer retention ( I will take uber because it's cheap ) uber already had the market ?? This just created a war betewen customers & drivers


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## Fuzzyelvis (Dec 7, 2014)

Showa50 said:


> Lol, Are u guys on this forum while driving?


I'm not. Was just pointing out that if you use voice recognition it does make you look illiterate even if you're not.


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## AltaClip (Feb 12, 2015)

Spit out my coffee and had to read this a few times! Best post of the week lol



UberHammer said:


> You are in more desperate need of a period than any woman in history.


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## Kalee (Feb 18, 2015)

UberHammer said:


> You are in more desperate need of a period than any woman in history.


LOL! I nominate you for the funniest comment of the year!


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## 20yearsdriving (Dec 14, 2014)

It's a simple yes or no answer 
Most people can't answer it why?
Think about it


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## Lidman (Nov 13, 2014)

What was the question that is limited to a yes or no answer?


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## 20yearsdriving (Dec 14, 2014)

Lidman said:


> What was the question that is limited to a yes or no answer?


You can answer in any way you like


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## 20yearsdriving (Dec 14, 2014)

It's a simple question 
A 5 year old can make a call on it


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## 20yearsdriving (Dec 14, 2014)

Anyone?


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## 20yearsdriving (Dec 14, 2014)

The reason most people will not answer is because

To answer it you must first accept to your self how contradicted you are

It fixes stupid !!!!!!

UberHammer could not handle the stop making excuses for you self 
Tread he had a come to Jesus moment

This question has the same efect


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## AltaClip (Feb 12, 2015)

Uber eventually drives everyone to a "come to Jesus" moment


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## Older Chauffeur (Oct 16, 2014)

Fuzzyelvis said:


> happens to me too its called voice recognition it doesn't have any idea about punctuation


I don't use voice-to-text, but shouldn't it know how to spell?  And how did the parentheses get in there? Nope, I think it was plain old finger-to-keyboard action.


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## Backdash (Jan 28, 2015)

20yearsdriving said:


> You can answer in any way you like


My answer is maybe, or not


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## Sydney Uber (Apr 15, 2014)

UberHammer said:


> You are in more desperate need of a period than any woman in history.


It was 1030pm at Night over here. Waiting for clients returning on a ferry at Kangaroo Pt Wharf on the Hawkesbury River, about 40 miles north of Sydney.

UberHammer (alias the frustrated Grammar Professor), made this bumpkin think twice as to what the hell he was on about. The best laughs are the ones that nearly fly over the top of my head and are found after a second read.

Post of the day award goes to UberHammer!

PS. I hope you've taken note of my periods, pass me a sanitary napkin!


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## 20yearsdriving (Dec 14, 2014)

Sydney Uber said:


> It was 1030pm at Night over here. Waiting for clients returning on a ferry at Kangaroo Pt Wharf on the Hawkesbury River, about 40 miles north of Sydney.
> 
> UberHammer (alias the frustrated Grammar Professor), made this bumpkin think twice as to what the hell he was on about. The best laughs are the ones that nearly fly over the top of my head and are found after a second read.
> 
> ...


That is very nice

But avoids the question


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## 20yearsdriving (Dec 14, 2014)

20yearsdriving said:


> That is very nice
> 
> But avoids the question


People some times corner them self

Amazing one simple question turns a grown man in to a clown 
And clowns need reinforcemment from other clown

Can anyone answer the question

Probably not you have to discard everything to tought you stander for


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## Older Chauffeur (Oct 16, 2014)




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## Casandria (Dec 20, 2014)

I think it's the law of averages. Before Uber, the number of "taxis" on the road was limited. Now that number had increased so rapidly that it only makes sense that the number of issues would increase as well. Statistically speaking, the more for hire rides on the road would equate to a higher percentage of issues from those rides. For example, let's say that 1% of all fares result in an issue (car accident, bad pax, bad driver, etc). Just for this example, let's say there were 1,000 taxis or limos in a city at any given time before Uber. That would mean that out of those 1,000 cars, only 10 would experience an issue. Now you have 3,000 cars for hire (figuring 2,000 for Uber) so now that number goes from 10 to 30.

That being said, I don't think that statistics alone can account for the increase. I think the influx of pax who could never afford to take a taxi before coupled with drivers who are not experienced and don't know how to deescalate a situation is also a factor.


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## Tx rides (Sep 15, 2014)

20yearsdriving said:


> The reason most people will not answer is because
> 
> To answer it you must first accept to your self how contradicted you are
> 
> ...


I do you not think we can state the number of problems is higher or lower. I would have to see data to that effect.

I do know that Uber deliberately created unrealistic expectations for passengers and drivers. That will guarantee a spike in complaints.

Better, faster, cheaper than a taxi: not possible. You can combine one or two, but there is no way to provide all three. Efforts to temporarily provide all three results in a vicious cycle:

over saturated driver pool ->cheap rates->starving drivers->happy pax ->driver drop out->high surge -> well paid drivers ->angry pax

The cycle continues.....


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## stuber (Jun 30, 2014)

What was the question? Sorry, I'm old and dumb. Problem rate? Is that a voice to text thing?


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## elelegido (Sep 24, 2014)

20yearsdriving said:


> It fixes stupid !!!!!


Spell check fixes 'stupid'? That would be a truly useful technological advancement.


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## Casandria (Dec 20, 2014)

Nothing fixes stupid; stupid is as stupid does.


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## 20yearsdriving (Dec 14, 2014)

elelegido I said many times my grammar sucks

I'm clearly not well educated or overqualified like you
But your high education does not help you driving
I know you are a far superior person than me
You are more: educated , intelligent , faster , stronger, better looking Etc

But I'm sure with all that you should be able to answer my stupid question

Let's see Google translate = I got nothing


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## 20yearsdriving (Dec 14, 2014)

elelegido said:


> Spell check fixes 'stupid'? That would be a truly useful technological advancement.


anything else son


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## Casandria (Dec 20, 2014)

Level of education isn't a factor here; actually, I'm not sure it's factor in any career because I was the youngest VP at Bank of America and the only one without a college degree while my husband has a Masters in Archaeology that he never uses.

Driving takes people skills, the ability to drive well and navigate well and the ability to adapt to changing circumstances as well as common sense. Some people have more of it than others. I don't think I was all that good of a driver. I think there are many better than me. Having a degree doesn't automatically make you a better driver nor does being able to use punctuation correctly. The question was posed and understood by all and if all anyone can do is nitpick about grammar, then they should move on to a different thread.


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## elelegido (Sep 24, 2014)

20yearsdriving said:


> anything else son


I'd like spell check to also be able to fix bullshit, i.e.:

- Demand will be off the charts tonight; get out on the roads to make incredible earnings!! = _You ain't gonna make jack tonight, sucka_

- Your earnings are our highest priority = _Our earnings are our highest priority
_


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## 20yearsdriving (Dec 14, 2014)

elelegido said:


> Spell check fixes 'stupid'? That would be a truly useful technological advancement.





elelegido said:


> I'd like spell check to also be able to fix bullshit, i.e.:
> 
> - Demand will be off the charts tonight; get out on the roads to make incredible earnings!! = _You ain't gonna make jack tonight, sucka_
> 
> - Your earnings are our highest priority = _Our earnings are our highest priority_


its not personal you can say nothing to offend me

First I'm not a fan of UBER

The question is hard for you to answer because you own desitions make no sense to your self

it churns you guts to answer

I'm just the messenger

See the light


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## elelegido (Sep 24, 2014)

20yearsdriving said:


> elelegido I said many times my grammar sucks
> 
> I'm clearly not well educated or overqualified like you
> But your high education does not help you driving
> ...


Who cares about grammar or education; it's not relevant in this line of work. I gave a ride a couple of nights ago to a guy who boasted that he was a professor at a top 3 institution. Then he says, "where are the refreshments?", making a point of examining the empty cup holder in his door. So smart but unable to figure out why he wasn't going to get a free bottle of water on a $5 ride. I gave him a free crash course on economics.


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## 20yearsdriving (Dec 14, 2014)

elelegido said:


> Who cares about grammar or education; it's not relevant in this line of work. I gave a ride a couple of nights ago to a guy who boasted that he was a professor at a top 3 institution. Then he says, "where are the refreshments?", making a point of examining the empty cup holder in his door. So smart but unable to figure out why he wasn't going to get a free bottle of water on a $5 ride. I gave him a free crash course on economics.


I only applie my pride in extreme situations ( it's like a nuclear option )

There is nothing in this forum or in the job that will offend me

I'm not trying to offend anyone read back on this tread I did not initiate bull

At end of day all this is really not a big deal


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## elelegido (Sep 24, 2014)

20yearsdriving said:


> I only applie my pride in extreme situations ( it's like a nuclear option )
> 
> There is nothing in this forum or in the job that will offend me
> 
> ...


None of my comments were directed at you; my mind just went off on an unrelated tangent about how good it would be if the clever people at Google could make spell check into a thing that filters out stupidity and BS from emails. That would be helpful for Uber communications, for example.

I'd never call anyone on here stupid, BTW.

Back to your original question, I think the Uber system creates problems for drivers because not everything can be automated by an app.


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## SgtMurphy (Apr 28, 2014)

God Bless You and Greetings Sah!
Nobody understand your question because you're reading (sounding) like a Nigerian check fraud scammer on his 2nd week. I'm sorry to break it down "Barney style," but just slow down and think of what you're really asking.
Peace and Love 
PEACE AND LOVE


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## 20yearsdriving (Dec 14, 2014)

SgtMurphy said:


> God Bless You and Greetings Sah!
> Nobody understand your question because you're reading (sounding) like a Nigerian check fraud scammer on his 2nd week. I'm sorry to break it down "Barney style," but just slow down and think of what you're really asking.
> Peace and Love
> PEACE AND LOVE


It's a simple question 
I know you are smart enough to compensate for my Nigerian accent
Now do you have the guts to answer ?


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## Lidman (Nov 13, 2014)

Good battle between 20 and elegondo.. I'm sure they've kissed and made up.


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## 20yearsdriving (Dec 14, 2014)

"Barney"


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## SgtMurphy (Apr 28, 2014)

Seriously, I cannot and do not understand the question. No jokes. 
Also, did I seriously just guess correctly that you're Nigerian?! That's amazing.


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## 20yearsdriving (Dec 14, 2014)

SgtMurphy said:


> Seriously, I cannot and do not understand the question. No jokes.
> Also, did I seriously just guess correctly that you're Nigerian?! That's amazing.


Is this all you got ?


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## 20yearsdriving (Dec 14, 2014)

This question is near breaking a record 
The most feared!!


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## Backdash (Jan 28, 2015)

20yearsdriving said:


> The most feared!!


FUGGIN AAY BUBBA!


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## SgtMurphy (Apr 28, 2014)

I'm gonna go back and read the question again. You think I'm joking that I don't understand.


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## 20yearsdriving (Dec 14, 2014)

SgtMurphy said:


> I'm gonna go back and read the question again. You think I'm joking that I don't understand.


So be it


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## SgtMurphy (Apr 28, 2014)

Ok I think I've got it. Sorry for the earlier confusion. If you haven't seen that full skit, it's from Dave Chapelle's show. He plays a white supremacist who doesn't know that he's actually black, because he's blind. Now, the answer:

I don't have many problems with uber, other than the system being slanted toward the riders' advantage, at a cost to the driver. I play it cool, de-escalate, and think long-term. If there's another pay cut, I can't afford to stay in business. I think also my problems are cut in half because I put my uber picture as myself when I was in the Armed Forces, so shit talkers become seldom. 
Have a good night 20, I'm gonna go on a joggie


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## 20yearsdriving (Dec 14, 2014)

SgtMurphy said:


> Ok I think I've got it. Sorry for the earlier confusion. If you haven't seen that full skit, it's from Dave Chapelle's show. He plays a white supremacist who doesn't know that he's actually black, because he's blind. Now, the answer:
> 
> I don't have many problems with uber, other than the system being slanted toward the riders' advantage, at a cost to the driver. I play it cool, de-escalate, and think long-term. If there's another pay cut, I can't afford to stay in business. I think also my problems are cut in half because I put my uber picture as myself when I was in the Armed Forces, so shit talkers become seldom.
> Have a good night 20, I'm gonna go on a joggie


Cool 
I'll be sending 2000 emails while you jog


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## SgtMurphy (Apr 28, 2014)

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA


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## Lidman (Nov 13, 2014)

20yearsdriving said:


> You can answer in any way you like


Ok. The answer is Cleveland , OH!


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## Casuale Haberdasher (Dec 7, 2014)

SgtMurphy said:


> Ok I think I've got it. Sorry for the earlier confusion. If you haven't seen that full skit, it's from Dave Chapelle's show. He plays a white supremacist who doesn't know that he's actually black, because he's blind. Now, the answer:
> 
> I don't have many problems with uber, other than the system being slanted toward the riders' advantage, at a cost to the driver. I play it cool, de-escalate, and think long-term. If there's another pay cut, I can't afford to stay in business. I think also my problems are cut in half because I put my uber picture as myself when I was in the Armed Forces, so shit talkers become seldom.
> Have a good night 20, I'm gonna go on a joggie


POST #50/SgtMurphy: "Marooned on
Marco" Bison has Missed
Your Acerbic Zing-worthy Content.

Your YouTube inclusion was an Hour
Long documentary on ***********
among the Incarcerated, NOT Dave
Chappel's Blind Black Racist bit.

BTW: Congratulations on Your Vir-
tual Tie for 7th Place with Notable LAuberX at 133.1%"Approval Rat-
ing" (Likes/Msgs.) of all at Well-Known 
Status or above. Well done, Sir!


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## Casuale Haberdasher (Dec 7, 2014)

AltaClip said:


> Spit out my coffee and had to read this a few times! Best post of the week lol


POST # 12 /AltaClip : Please forgive
that this is...uh..
3.5 MONTHS OVERDUE, but, Ahoy and
Welcome to the UP Net Forums from
Marco Island on Florida's SSW Coast!

Always glad to learn ObscureSpeak,
especially the Meteorological. Some
Members have even Chided me for it,
but I feel Beloved just the Same. Is
"AltaClip" used by TV WeatherPersons
there in Edmonton, or is it Your Own
Acronym? Even better!

UberHammer's Humor WAS sorely
missed during a Recent 6 Week Stretch.
It's No Surprise that this has Helped
him Earn his 158.4% Approval Rating,
highest among Notables and 4th on
the Well-Knowns List.

Your "High-Speed Coffee Evacuation"
description added Sight Gag to The
Hammer's "Double-Entendre". 
Thanks for that!


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## Casuale Haberdasher (Dec 7, 2014)

20yearsdriving said:


> I know for a fact the problem rate is less than 1% yes less than 1% in this bussiness why is UBER problem rate so high please be constructive


POST # 1 /20yearsdriving: Bison HAS
carefully Read Your
Thread in its' ENTIRETY. The Answers
of Casandria and Tx rides proved
the Most Satisfactory to This Bison.

Browbeating Your Contributors is Ugly.
Why engage in it? Just my $.02......


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## Lidman (Nov 13, 2014)

20yearsdriving said:


> Cool
> I'll be sending 2000 emails while you jog


Send some my way. I wanna see how well my new spam filter works.


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## 20yearsdriving (Dec 14, 2014)

Lidman said:


> Send some my way. I wanna see how well my new spam filter works.


I did a while ago 
Filter works great


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## SgtMurphy (Apr 28, 2014)

Casuale Haberdasher said:


> POST #50/SgtMurphy: "Marooned on
> Marco" Bison has Missed
> Your Acerbic Zing-worthy Content.
> 
> ...


I don't know what contest I got7th place in (link?) 
But yeah 
I realize I'm a bit late on response but that is definitely from Chapelle.


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## toonces (Apr 16, 2015)

UberHammer said:


> You are in more desperate need of a period than any woman in history.


I realize I'm late to this party, but your post made me remember this best of craigslist post: http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/tul/1611029246.html


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## Casuale Haberdasher (Dec 7, 2014)

SgtMurphy said:


> I don't know what contest I got7th place in (link?)
> But yeah
> I realize I'm a bit late on response but that is definitely from Chapelle.


POST # 59 /SgtMurphy: Bostonian Bison
would first like to
Thank You for Your Service to these
United States.

Sorry to Needlessly Confuse You with the
Approval % (Likes divided by Msgs.) but
I feel that Credit Delayed is Credit Denied.

Additionally, Last Month I was subjected
to an Ad Hominem attack by a Fellow
Notable Member who Excoriated me
for (among other things) "having the
lowest Approval Rating " he had ever
seen. Although this was Hyperbole in
Extremis, at 67% I'm not about to brag.

Conversely, when I encounter a
Rating that is Superior to/in the vicinity
of that of my Detractor, I feel it Incum-
bent Upon me to point it out, Publicly.

Appreciative Bison, over and out.


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## Casuale Haberdasher (Dec 7, 2014)

toonces said:


> I realize I'm late to this party, but your post made me remember this best of craigslist post: http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/tul/1611029246.html


POST # 60 /@toonces:Ahoy and Welcome
to the UP.Net Forums from
Wicked Thunderstormy Marco Island on
Florida's Wild SSW Coast.

Thanks for the "Best of Craigslist" Post.
It was AT LEAST as entertaining as
UberHammer 's One-Liner. Your
interjective Hyperlink was Perfectly
Timed. Thank You.

It IS unfortunate that the Current Staff
@ SNL doesn't rely on More "canned"
material like "Toonces"/"Happy Fun Ball"
"Yardapult" and Previously shown
"Digital Shorts", instead of some of the
TRULY WEAK material they attempt
with the Season 40 Group. Darrell Ham-
mond is there replacing Don Pardo
and He's HYSTERICAL! Maybe with
Whatshername doing Hillary Clinton
we'll see more of D.H.: perfect initials
for a Designated Hitter!

Bison chortling.


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## Casuale Haberdasher (Dec 7, 2014)

SgtMurphy said:


> I don't know what contest I got7th place in (link?)
> But yeah
> I realize I'm a bit late on response but that is definitely from Chapelle.


POST # 59 /SgtMurphy: Bison has Good
News to Report
on Approval Ratings. For the Quartet
under Examination, I'm still in the
Doldrums at 68.3%.

Your Closest Member is the Aforemen-
tioned LAuberX at 136.02% and 
though You've Risen, the 134.2% just
calculated puts You in 8th Place, com-
fortably ahead of My Persecutor,
who at 126.3%, remains in 9th. As soon
as I find a 10th I'll make that known.

"Can't tell the Players Without a Program"
Bison, over and out.


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## toonces (Apr 16, 2015)

Casuale Haberdasher said:


> POST # 60 /@toonces:Ahoy and Welcome
> to the UP.Net Forums from
> Wicked Thunderstormy Marco Island on
> Florida's Wild SSW Coast.
> ...


I'm impressed you know the. Toonces skits. Darrell Hammond is hilarious.


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## UberHammer (Dec 5, 2014)

Lidman said:


> Ok. The answer is Cleveland , OH!


If that's the answer, I don't want to know the question.


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## 20yearsdriving (Dec 14, 2014)

UberHammer said:


> If that's the answer, I don't want to know the question.


Hello Hammer 
I really don't want to prove the point .

You know the ol $$ talks


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## 20yearsdriving (Dec 14, 2014)

UberHammer looks like your inner troll died a little

It's good to know I'm in your dreams


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## Grahamcracker (Nov 2, 2016)

20yearsdriving said:


> UberHammer looks like your inner troll died a little
> 
> It's good to know I'm in your dreams





UberHammer said:


> If that's the answer, I don't want to know the question.


Nice to see you two can carry on about the same convo 2 years later


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## AuxCordBoston (Dec 3, 2016)

Lol


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## MadTownUberD (Mar 11, 2017)

I like this 20 guy! He's got persistence and resilience. And yes I was able to get punctuation using voice recognition.


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## 20yearsdriving (Dec 14, 2014)

MadTownUberD said:


> I like this 20 guy! He's got persistence and resilience. And yes I was able to get punctuation using voice recognition.


You'll be surprised how much I learned here.


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## corniilius (Jan 27, 2017)

This thread is over two years old. Somebody had way too much time on thier hands.


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## 20yearsdriving (Dec 14, 2014)

corniilius said:


> This thread is over two years old. Somebody had way too much time on thier hands.


It's a classic hit & run 
Got to love it.


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