# My best tip generation strategy



## UberBastid (Oct 1, 2016)

Lie.

I had a pix of my niece, a 15 y.o. high school student stuck in the dash board. 
I never brought her up, but would often get a question.
My pitch was like this.

"Yea, that is Sharon. My grand-daughter.
She has kidney failure from an EColi infection a couple years ago. Almost killed her, but she survived and lost the use of her kidneys. She's on dialysis. It's so hard on her. She used to be very active in sports and stuff, and now she's just sick all the time. She's a good student and wants to study medicine.
She is on the list for a new kidney.
Her folks have good insurance ... but, ya know, 20% of a lot IS a lot.
So, I drive when I get the chance and everything that i make goes into her folks bank account to help with the bills.
I put that picture up there to remind me why I do this; it helps when I get tired or discouraged.
The way Uber has been cutting our pay - I haven't been able to give as much as I used to."

I've been blessed and hugged ... and tipped. Big time.
"Here's a 20 for Sharon's kidney fund."
"Here's some gas money for ya - your a good grandpa."

The women fall for the sad story more than the men.
The men are like "Meh, yea, good for you buddy."
The women dig in their purse. 

Yea, I know ... I'm gunna burn in Hell.
But ... a guy's gotta eat.

And it made the giver feel good.


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## mbd (Aug 27, 2018)

Don't use the kidney excuse... make something else up.


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## Declineathon (Feb 12, 2019)

Wow. You would be deadly on the felt. I assume you play poker?


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## UberBastid (Oct 1, 2016)

Declineathon said:


> Wow. You would be deadly on the felt. I assume you play poker?


How in the world could you know that? Yes.
You a rounder too.
I bet you can read a tell ... 
Heads up No Limit Hold 'em would be a fun game.

I practice on-line. replaypoker dot com
Look for HashBucket
It's free play, but we play like it isn't.


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## Michael1230nj (Jun 23, 2017)

You appear to be the right man in the right job. You are truly an Uber man.


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## Invisible (Jun 15, 2018)

If you’re that desperate for tips, you may need to do another job. Making up a story like this to get tips is disgraceful.


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## UberBastid (Oct 1, 2016)

Invisible said:


> If you're that desperate for tips, you may need to do another job. Making up a story like this to get tips is disgraceful.


Yea, I know. 
Like I said, I'm gunna burn in Hell.
On the grand scale of things, this sin is one of the lesser ones ... 
Five minutes after I'm dead I'm going to have a LOT of explaining to do.

BUT, IT WORKED. 
Sometimes I could get em almost crying. 
LoL


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## Declineathon (Feb 12, 2019)

Incorrigible. 

Do you well up on the River, before you Shove, you 7 2 off bluffer.


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## Invisible (Jun 15, 2018)

UberBastid said:


> Like I said, I'm gunna burn in Hell.
> On the grand scale of things, this sin is one of the lesser ones ...
> Five minutes after I'm dead I'm going to have a LOT of explaining to do.


I think you'll have a lot of company, like Travis, Dara and all the Uber exec's. It'll be an Uber reunion. ?


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## RideshareUSA (Feb 7, 2019)

UberBastid said:


> Lie.
> 
> I had a pix of my niece, a 15 y.o. high school student stuck in the dash board.
> I never brought her up, but would often get a question.
> ...


You Sir, are my Hero!
Bless you?



Invisible said:


> If you're that desperate for tips, you may need to do another job. Making up a story like this to get tips is disgraceful.


Wrong! The only disgraceful aspect is me not thinking of this strategy first!



UberBastid said:


> Yea, I know.
> Like I said, I'm gunna burn in Hell.
> On the grand scale of things, this sin is one of the lesser ones ...
> Five minutes after I'm dead I'm going to have a LOT of explaining to do.
> ...


???

W


Invisible said:


> I think you'll have a lot of company, like Travis, Dara and all the Uber exec's. It'll be an Uber reunion. ?


Wrong! OP is upfront and honest about his intent, unlike any scum at Uber.


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## Michael1230nj (Jun 23, 2017)

Playing on the Sympathy or Empathy of others is probably a way to gain revenue. Most People are Decent and trusting. And then there’s You.


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## RideshareUSA (Feb 7, 2019)

Michael1230nj said:


> Playing on the Sympathy or Empathy of others is probably a way to gain revenue. Most People are Decent and trusting. And then there's You.


Let me correct your statement: "Most people are decent and trusting, and then there's Uber corporate."
Your welcome!


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## Ping.Me.More (Oct 27, 2018)

mbd said:


> Don't use the kidney excuse... make something else up.


Just be honest. Refer people to your Uber-Driver-GoFundMe page link.
The fact that you've stooped so low as to grovel for rideshare crumbs,
is a testimony to your extreme financial need. :roflmao:


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## Tom Oldman (Feb 2, 2019)

UberBastid said:


> Lie.
> 
> I had a pix of my niece, a 15 y.o. high school student stuck in the dash board.
> I never brought her up, but would often get a question.
> ...


This is turning into a freak show.


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## UberBastid (Oct 1, 2016)

Michael1230nj said:


> Playing on the Sympathy or Empathy of others is probably a way to gain revenue. Most People are Decent and trusting. And then there's You.


You believe that people are mostly decent and trusting. And we're talking decent with a capital D? 
LMAO
"Playing on the sympathy or empathy of others" is called marketing. Or politics. Or religion. Or seduction.
EVERYBODY does it.
I'm honest about my dishonesty.

Is Donald Trump? Hillary (or Bill) Clinton? Bernie Sanders?
Is Pope Francis? Jesse Jackson? 
Is Mark Zuckerberg? Jeff Bezos?

Or, as Popeye was known to say: "I am what I am, and that's all what I am."
Olive Oyl loved him anyway.


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## RideshareUSA (Feb 7, 2019)

UberBastid said:


> You believe that people are mostly decent and trusting. And we're talking decent with a capital D?
> LMAO
> "Playing on the sympathy or empathy of others" is called marketing. Or politics. Or religion. Or seduction.
> EVERYBODY does it.
> ...


I'm only going to say this once people, so listen, and listen well.
For all that is true and good, look no further than our Supreme Leader, Dara.
Thank you!


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## UberBastid (Oct 1, 2016)

RideshareUSA said:


> I'm only going to say this once people, so listen, and listen well.
> For all that is true and good, look no further than our Supreme Leader, Dara.
> Thank you!


He really IS the Supreme Leader, isn't he?


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## RideshareUSA (Feb 7, 2019)

UberBastid said:


> He really IS the Supreme Leader, isn't he?


Sure, but only if you ignore The Illuminati.


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## Matt Uterak (Jul 28, 2015)

Is she hot?


Also putting a gun in their face or In our mouth gets the wallet out.


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## itendstonight (Feb 10, 2019)

Tom Oldman said:


> This is turning into a freak show.


George Carlin said it best!

"When you are born, you get a ticket to the Freakshow. When you're born in America, you get front row seats!"


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## Tom Oldman (Feb 2, 2019)

itendstonight said:


> George Carlin said it best!
> 
> "When you are born, you get a ticket to the Freakshow. When you're born in America, you get front row seats!"


Bravo, couldn't be any better. Thank you

I truly miss George Carlin, it was a very sad ending, he passed in a Santa Monica hotel about.a decade ago. I still you tube some of his shows. They don't make them like that anymore, he was just genius and spoke mostly from my heart. Great response


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## Matt Uterak (Jul 28, 2015)

Tom Oldman said:


> Bravo, couldn't be any better. Thank you
> 
> I truly miss George Carlin, it was a very sad ending, he passed in a Santa Monica hotel about.a decade ago. I still you tube some of his shows. They don't make them like that anymore, he was just genius and spoke mostly from my heart. Great response


If you can find it, his last show is pretty wacky. Lots of 911 stuff and more angry than usual.


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## Seamus (Jun 21, 2018)

Tom Oldman said:


> Bravo, couldn't be any better. Thank you
> 
> I truly miss George Carlin, it was a very sad ending, he passed in a Santa Monica hotel about.a decade ago. I still you tube some of his shows. They don't make them like that anymore, he was just genius and spoke mostly from my heart. Great response :smiles:


Went to one of his shows about a year before he died and he was killing it that night. Great show .


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## Tom Oldman (Feb 2, 2019)

Matt Uterak said:


> If you can find it, his last show is pretty wacky. Lots of 911 stuff and more angry than usual.


True, i think he knew the end is near and i remember the last show I watched when he was still alive had a cemetery setting and was kind of sad and not funny anymore. But I don't remember him by that, he had many other great shows before and that's how I remember him.



Seamus said:


> Went to one of his shows about a year before he died and he was killing it that night. Great show .


I never got to see one of his live shows. I do regret that.


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## Clothahump (Mar 31, 2018)

If I have a group of folks and they are in a good mood (ie, slightly snockered already), I'll sometimes pull the great Uber challenge on them.

"Okay, guys, when I say go, let's see who can stuff the most money in the tip box in one minute. Ready....set...." They'll get a big laugh out of it and I'll get extra tips. 

Best ride yet - four ladies out on the town. As they were getting out, one said, "I won the challenge!" After I dropped them off, I looked at the top box. Two 5s and a 10, and the one in the front seat tipped me 5 on the app. 25 clams in tips on a $7 ride.


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## Gtown Driver (Aug 26, 2018)

I thought it was just make sure to drive to a US or Euro luxury and provide water and mints.


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## Mainah (Jun 22, 2018)

This idea is genius. Anyone on the fence should use a pic of a random person


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## Drive QCA (Jul 13, 2019)

mbd said:


> Don't use the kidney excuse... make something else up.


last thing you need is to jinx yourself or your family member. bad juju imo


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## tohunt4me (Nov 23, 2015)

UberBastid said:


> Lie.
> 
> I had a pix of my niece, a 15 y.o. high school student stuck in the dash board.
> I never brought her up, but would often get a question.
> ...


The Devil will stab you in the kidneys with a pitchfork.



Invisible said:


> If you're that desperate for tips, you may need to do another job. Making up a story like this to get tips is disgraceful.


he should donate 20% to a Dialysis fund.

Then he would have 2. Half truths.

And a softer spot in hell.


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## SideHustle UberAnnie (Jul 5, 2018)

I have used dead husband, cheating boyfriend, single mother of college student, and pretty much everything else that is not true, simply to see if I could get more tips. Based on OP's idea, I will be using a visual aid in the future. In order to make this gig successful, you have to take advantage of all tools offered to you. The ability to earn a tip is one of those tools.

When I do arrive in hell, I will be amongst great company.


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## doyousensehumor (Apr 13, 2015)

UberBastid said:


> Lie.
> 
> I had a pix of my niece, a 15 y.o. high school student stuck in the dash board.
> I never brought her up, but would often get a question.
> ...


With the average rates at 60 cents per mile, I ain't judging.


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## BigSlick (Apr 15, 2015)

UberBastid said:


> How in the world could you know that? Yes.
> You a rounder too.
> I bet you can read a tell ...


The tell is that only a sick person would come up with that story and poker players are sick people.

If you think that's an insult, check my name and avatar again.


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## Mikeoftulsa (Dec 10, 2018)

I typically leave a pink power ranger toy on my dash. When people ask about it i tell them that my daughter asked me to keep it in the car where I can see it so I think about her every so often since I dont get to see her too much since I drive so much. Sad thing is, this is true.


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## CarpeNoctem (Sep 12, 2018)

I can see how the sob story would work on women.

Guys might be more moved with the story about how the ex topped out all the credit cards, emptied the bank account, filed for divorce, got the house you are still paying for and is suing for alimony and child support. This one is more likely to be true too.


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## Tom Oldman (Feb 2, 2019)

Mikeoftulsa said:


> I typically leave a pink power ranger toy on my dash. When people ask about it i tell them that my daughter asked me to keep it in the car where I can see it so I think about her every so often since I dont get to see her too much since I drive so much. Sad thing is, this is true.


I raised two of my own, boy and a girl and they both have their own families now. Boys usually go about their own lives and business but most girls, daughters, stay attached, remotely or directly, they tend to be more caring. I see in your heartwarming avatar, a beautiful family, loving father and daughter, sadly connected by a plastic toy. I do not judge neither I blame you and certainly I'm not trying to give you live lessons, it just breaks my heart to witness the unfair and unethical corporate treatment of the drivers, kept away from their loved ones. Every day, every moment you spend with your precious daughter is priceless and building blocks shaping her future. I just hope somehow you get more time to enjoy your loving family. Dive Safe.


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## Fl*C (Mar 13, 2019)

UberBastid said:


> You believe that people are mostly decent and trusting. And we're talking decent with a capital D?
> LMAO
> "Playing on the sympathy or empathy of others" is called marketing. Or politics. Or religion. Or seduction.
> EVERYBODY does it.
> ...


Karma doesnt discriminate.


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## goneubering (Aug 17, 2017)

UberBastid said:


> Lie.
> 
> I had a pix of my niece, a 15 y.o. high school student stuck in the dash board.
> I never brought her up, but would often get a question.
> ...


You've made some excellent posts over the months I've been here but this one is very disappointing. It reminds me of when a homeless person tells me a big story but then I discover they scammed me. It leaves a bad taste in my mouth and it makes me less likely to help the next homeless person I meet even when their need is legit.


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## UberBastid (Oct 1, 2016)

goneubering said:


> You've made some excellent posts over the months I've been here but this one is very disappointing. It reminds me of when a homeless person tells me a big story but then I discover they scammed me. It leaves a bad taste in my mouth and it makes me less likely to help the next homeless person I meet even when their need is legit.


Sometimes a guy's gotta do what a guy's gotta do.
I could say that I am but a shepherd trying to show the flock the right path to showing gratitude to one who serves them.
But, what I actually said was "I know I'll burn in hell ..."
Five minutes after I'm dead I got a lot of explaining to do.

Sometimes, in the journey we call life, a person has to choose between two evils. He has to decide which evil is the worst, and chose accordingly.
Is it a bigger sin to be righteous to the point that your family goes hungry? or homeless?
Or is it a bigger sin to tell a lie for a dollar?

It's a rhetorical question, in a way, because everyone will have a different answer - and they'll all be wrong.


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## lyft_rat (Jul 1, 2019)

Panhandling (what this is) under false pretenses is just bad karma.


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## UberBastid (Oct 1, 2016)

lyft_rat said:


> Panhandling (what this is) under false pretenses is just bad karma.


So is watching your family go hungry, and living on the street.
Choose your bad karma.


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## goneubering (Aug 17, 2017)

UberBastid said:


> So is watching your family go hungry, and living on the street.
> Choose your bad karma.


You make it sound like those are the only two options.


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## UberBastid (Oct 1, 2016)

goneubering said:


> You make it sound like those are the only two options.


I'm just saying ... that sometimes it IS just that simple.
And, the lesser-of-two-evils option IS the only option.
Sophie's Choice.

But, you are not my judge; so I really don't care if you believe my 'excuses'. 
I will deal with my Judge, when the time comes. And He will deal with me, I'm sure.


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## goneubering (Aug 17, 2017)

UberBastid said:


> I'm just saying ... that sometimes it IS just that simple.
> And, the lesser-of-two-evils option IS the only option.
> Sophie's Choice.
> 
> ...


Very true. Take care.


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## AveragePerson (May 18, 2018)

Manipulation and lacking in moral ethics.


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## UberBastid (Oct 1, 2016)

AveragePerson said:


> Manipulation and lacking in moral ethics.


Results driven and understands familiar responsibilities.


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## Drivincrazy (Feb 14, 2016)

In Vegas one night about 15 years ago, I'm on the Strip walking, just amusing myself...checking things out. I come across a guy selling ice cold beer out of an ice chest...obviously illegal. I ask him, "aren't you afraid of being busted by the cops or ATF?" His reply: "I'm more afraid of not feeding my wife and kid." Maybe we shouldn't be so judgmental.


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## rkozy (Apr 5, 2019)

I'm still using the candy basket to generate higher tips. But, I only offer it at the end of the ride to pax who seem like they might be cool enough to tip a driver. Here's my spiel, as I offer them the candy basket at the end of the ride:

"Thank you for being a six-star passenger. Uber (or Lyft) only allows me to rate you five stars, so consider whatever you want from this basket as your sixth star. I really enjoyed having you in my vehicle today. Thanks again."

Most pax are absolutely flattered by this. The female passengers are especially grateful, but even some of the guys are outwardly excited. I had two totally drunk Dude Bros say I was the coolest driver they ever had. It works. People love free edible items.

I just buy five or six dollars worth of the "fun size" mini candy bars from Dollar Tree. I've also recently added the mini size Slim Jims to the lineup. Pax really love those as well. You'll want to keep it well-stocked and variety of candy is the key. Most people will only take one (which is about 15-20 cents in value) but some greedy pax might grab three. It pays off, though. Today, one gal tipped me $10 in the app right after dropping her off because she was excited to get candy at the end of her ride.

The key is to only offer this to passengers you really like. If they show any attitude or weirdness during the ride, I classify them as entitled non-tipping pax, who are not worthy of six-star treatment. Those who are inclined to tip, will probably give you something decent.


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## StallionMang (Jul 21, 2019)

Confessing your lies here does not make you honest! I know the pay is crap and all but this is a sad way to turn a buck. Get a job and stop scamming people! Get kick backs from dispensaries, liquor stores, strip clubs etc.. Before anyone wants to tell me how Uber scams drivers.. yeah, I know!!! Two wrongs still dont make a right! Old school like that..


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## Cdub2k (Nov 22, 2017)

AveragePerson said:


> Manipulation and lacking in moral ethics.


Sounds like Uber's business model.


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## mbd (Aug 27, 2018)

25 and under stripper ...best tip generating strategy.


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