# Know Your Rider



## Modern-Day-Slavery (Feb 22, 2016)

All Uber riders think they are unique but really 90% of them fit into one of the following categories:

*The Texter:* This rider has a habit of messaging you within a minute of accepting the trip. They ask things like "where you at!?" Or "Are you close by?!" Or "I see you're going the wrong way" when you're just trying to do a legal U-turn. 
*How to get five stars:* Cancel

*The Ghoster:* This lone rider chooses to lurk directly behind the drivers seat as if to suggest you might be a risk to them. They tend to be socially awkward trips. They just assume that you're a creep. They don't say anything unless they have to. They fold their arms or pretend to text on their phone. They want ride-sharing just without the Uber drivers. *How to get five stars:* Breathe lightly and pretend you don't exist.

*The Elitist*:
This person expects luxury service but they are too cheap-ass too pay for it. They will rate you down for not driving the latest Aston Martin. You can spot them easily bevayse they will be looking down at you. 
*How to get five stars:* Feed their ego and you'll get five stars. Apologize for everything. Bow your head with respect when they leave and thank them for the opportunity to transport them.

*The DJ*
Pause your self-help audiobook. This person can't live without listening to Skrillex for 3 minutes. You'll be asked for an Aux cable and to turn it up. Louder please.
*How to get five stars: *bop your head up and down with your pax. Pretend you're having fun. Try to forget how silly you look.

*The Uber fanboy/ The Ubeliever*
These people rant about how great Uber is. They are very ignorant. They think you make good money. They will tell you about the free market and how bad taxis are. They usually work in IT and talk about user experience. *How to get five stars: *They know more about Uber than you ever will, just go along with it. Unless they are paying for surge pricing it's not worth the argument.

*The blackmailer:*
These people say they will give you five stars for *insert stupid reason*. They think the fate of your driving career is in their hands. They will make a point of telling you they'll give you 5 stars as if you should be grateful to them for letting you drive another day.
*How to get five stars:* Thank them and tell them you'll give them 5 stars too. When they leave, give them a 3 for being idiots.

*The Cartographer:*
They don't enter a destination yet they are they expect you to know where they're going. Surely you know every nook and cranny in this city! You want to put the address into the GPS but they say they'll direct you- until they get distracted on their phone and suddenly it's your fault they're late and Uber lowers your fare without telling you. *How to get five stars:* You just can't please them. Let them know you're mother just died from prostate cancer and they might let you off the hook with 3 stars instead of a 1.

*The Biographer:*
Your with them for 7 minutes but this person wants to know your life story. What did have for breakfast? Do you do this full time? What do when you don't do Uber? These people are always sit next to you.
*How to get five stars:* Make your life sound interesting but not more interesting than theirs otherwise you could lose a star out of spite. You want them to feel some sympathy for you but not too much or you could lose a star got bad attitude.

*The Where's Wally*
You'll arrive at their driveway and nobody is there. Or you'll pull into a precarious spot on a one way street with traffic banking up behind you. Do you drive around the block again and waste more time and fuel or do you keep obstructing traffic until this rider gets off the toilet or casually finishes their conversation? *How to get five stars:* Cancel and cut your losses.

Did I miss any? What ones do you agree/disagree with? Post below!


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## Beur (Apr 14, 2015)

Modern-Day-Slavery said:


> All Uber riders think they are unique but really 90% of them fit into one of the following categories:
> 
> *The Cartographer:*
> They don't enter a destination yet they are they expect you to know where they're going. Surely you know every nook and cranny in this city! You want to put the address into the GPS but they say they'll direct you- until they get distracted on their phone and suddenly it's your fault they're late and Uber lowers your fare without telling you. *How to get five stars:* You just can't please them. *Let them know you're mother just died from prostate cancer* and they might let you off the hook with 3 stars instead of a 1.


Women don't have prostates, therefore it's impossible for your mother to have died from prostate cancer.


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## GGDaddy (Feb 27, 2016)

Well no sh** Sherlock. 

Great post MDS.


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## james2ko (Apr 14, 2016)

*The Seductress:* Usually a lonely out-of-towner in town for a couple days, looking for a native to add to her trophy collection. They make awkward statements like, "I'll be leaving town tomorrow and I'm going to spend my last night at the hotel all by myself". *How To get 5 stars: *Accept request and complete the "ride".


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## Another Uber Driver (May 27, 2015)

Modern-Day-Slavery said:


> *The Cartographer:*
> Surely you know every nook and cranny in this city!
> *
> How to get five stars:*


How to get five stars?

Be a hacker. We DO know every nook and cranny in our Cities.

This is one reason, among several, why I like Uber Taxi.


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## UTX1 (Dec 7, 2015)

Modern-Day-Slavery said:


> Did I miss any? What ones do you agree/disagree with? Post below!


Those are all very good examples of the Uber gene pool.

I've had the experience of the "whispering pair". Maybe they're an intimate couple, 
maybe they're just two good friends, whatever. It has to be two of them back there.
They sit in the back seat, fairly close to one another and whisper stuff back and forth.
Must be very important, private information being shared in the back of your car.

How to get 5 stars: you must somehow make it appear that no matter how awesome
and interesting the conversation they are having must be, you are far beneath this
high-level intellectual exchange taking place and that you certainly would be unable
to comprehend such advanced and sophisticated concepts. Things like voicemail
and credit cards with a security chip in them. Don't ever let on that you might be
at least as knowledgeable as they think they are, lest you appear to be untrustworthy.


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## Ms.Doe (Apr 15, 2016)

Another Uber Driver said:


> How to get five stars?
> 
> Be a hacker. We DO know every nook and cranny in our Cities.
> 
> This is one reason, among several, why I like Uber Taxi.


What is Uber taxi?


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## Another Uber Driver (May 27, 2015)

Ms.Doe said:


> What is Uber taxi?


Uber offers regular, licenced taxicabs in certain markets. They are the same taxis that you would hail on the street or for which you would call a cab company. The fares are the regular taxi rates as determined by local regulators. Uber Taxi does not have surges. You summon and pay for your Uber Taxi just as you would any other Uber. There is one exception in New York City, but that applies to New York City, only.

Uber offers taxis in:

U.S. of A.: Boston, New York, Washington, Chicago, San Francisco, Honolulu. In Seattle, Uber offers "For Hire" (It appears that there are two kinds of taxis in Seattle: taxis and "for hire".)

Canada: Montreal, Toronto

Australia: Sydney

Germany: Berlin

In New York City, _*only*_, you use the UberT (that is what they call it in New York City, only) to summon your taxi, only. You must pay the driver. In all other cities where Uber offers taxis, you summon and pay for the taxi through the Uber application.

Uber does not offer taxis anywhere in Indiana.


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## lyft_audi (Mar 3, 2016)

Great post, definitely pretty accurate!


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## python134r (Jul 24, 2015)

Good post


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## FAC (Mar 27, 2016)

james2ko said:


> *The Seductress:* Usually a lonely out-of-towner in town for a couple days, looking for a native to add to her trophy collection. They make awkward statements like, "I'll be leaving town tomorrow and I'm going to spend my last night at the hotel all by myself". *How To get 5 stars: *Accept request and do not cancel.


Similar to james2ko....But this is only for women drivers.
 The Drunk Horny Pax or Paxs . Typically guys mid 20s - late 30s (in my experience). They stare at drivers chest (I dare not say the word that got another topic off subject). Comment how beautiful you are. Then they ask if you want to go make out with him (them). Sometimes repeatedly. In my experience they are harmless just drunk and horny. If your driving one male pax, typically don't get a tip; if driving a car full drunk horny paxs, typically there is one in the bunch embarrassed about their friends actions and tip between $10-25. * how to get 5 stars *: they usually always give 5 stars. If for no other reason they like looking at me

Then there is the drunk pax...no advice there it's a crap shoot.


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## FAC (Mar 27, 2016)

Love the post btw. You hit it right out of the park.


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## stemor (May 15, 2016)

Not sure if this is an expansion of "*Where's Wally*", or a new one ... "Hide & Seek". I've had several Uber riders hail me to an apartment complex with a vague range as an address. There is usually a security gate, for which they haven't bothered to communicate the access code. Once I get inside (drafting behind somebody else), I get in to try to find the vague address. Eventually I'll get the PAX on the phone, and they'll say "you should have turned left back there, not right. No, not there. I'm back at nnnn", which of course wasn't within the address range given by the pin drop.

I've lost patience for this type. I can't make money when I'm being paid for my services, I'm certainly not making money trying to find the clueless, hidden pax.


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## GGDaddy (Feb 27, 2016)

I haven't met a *Hide & Seek* pax since my very first week driving.

Since then I've only encountered the *Go to Pin, Wait 5 Minutes, Collect Cancel Fee* pax.


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## villetta (Feb 11, 2016)

Another Uber Driver said:


> Uber offers regular, licenced taxicabs in certain markets. They are the same taxis that you would hail on the street or for which you would call a cab company. The fares are the regular taxi rates as determined by local regulators. Uber Taxi does not have surges. You summon and pay for your Uber Taxi just as you would any other Uber. There is one exception in New York City, but that applies to New York City, only.
> 
> Uber offers taxis in:
> 
> ...


I'm curious how does Uber take its cut from those that pay through the app, and in NYC were they don't pay through the app? How much is its cut for taxi?


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## UTX1 (Dec 7, 2015)

GGDaddy said:


> I haven't met a *Hide & Seek* pax since my very first week driving.
> 
> Since then I've only encountered the *Go to Pin, Wait 5 Minutes, Collect Cancel Fee* pax.


How about the *Peek-A-Boo* pax who pops out of the pick up location, 
runs up to the car and says, "i'll be right back. can you wait just a minute ?" 
and then pops back out of sight until you get tired of waiting ?

*Peek-A-Boo !*

Thank your lucky stars she didn't leave anything in the back seat.


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## GGDaddy (Feb 27, 2016)

UTX1 said:


> *Peek-A-Boo !*
> 
> Thank your lucky stars she didn't leave anything in the back seat.


Great add!

For newbies: NEVER let pax leave anything in your car. (1) you are hostage and might be stuck there for 30 minutes, (2) no recourse when they tell Uber you took something out of their bag. When someone wants to leave something, I tell them not to "in case I get an emergency call"

p.s. UTX1 you're a handsome man!


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## UTX1 (Dec 7, 2015)

GGDaddy said:


> p.s. UTX1 you're a handsome man!


Yes I am ! , but not half as handsome as you GGDaddy 

If we were both walking the same way, they'd have to close down the street.
It would shut down traffic for miles. Call me before you go anywhere, please.


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## Another Uber Driver (May 27, 2015)

villetta said:


> I'm curious how does Uber take its cut from those that pay through the app, and in NYC were they don't pay through the app? How much is its cut for taxi?


In Washington, they charge a two dollar user fee. That is not a big deal, here. It has cost extra to call a cab in Washington since the 1920s. The curret charge for calling a cab in Washington is two dollars. Thus, there is no difference in what you pay for a called cab be it Uber or someone else. The customers prefer Uber Taxi over some of the others for several reasons.

The difference to the driver is that Uber keeps the two dollars when he accepts a call from Uber Taxi. If the driver accepts a call from his own company (for the cab drivers that do accept some form of "dispatch"), he receives the two dollars. Yes, I could cry about the two dollars, but:

1. If I consider the volume of business that Uber sends my way versus that of my own company, I would be cutting off my nose to spite my face in refusing Uber's customers.

2. I must be aware that somebody has to pay for the service. My own company charges me a fee to accept calls from it. This is one reason why drivers get to charge customers extra who call a cab, here. The driver pays extra to subscribe to the "dispatch" service, so he passes on the cost of doing business to his customer. That is covered in Capitalism 101.

In New York City they charge the user a fee. That prompted some complaint from the users there when Uber started it.


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## Fuzzyelvis (Dec 7, 2014)

Modern-Day-Slavery said:


> All Uber riders think they are unique but really 90% of them fit into one of the following categories:
> 
> *The Texter:* This rider has a habit of messaging you within a minute of accepting the trip. They ask things like "where you at!?" Or "Are you close by?!" Or "I see you're going the wrong way" when you're just trying to do a legal U-turn.
> *How to get five stars:* Cancel
> ...


I don't think my mother has a prostate...


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## OdyUber (Mar 11, 2016)

GGDaddy said:


> I haven't met a *Hide & Seek* pax since my very first week driving.
> 
> Since then I've only encountered the *Go to Pin, Wait 5 Minutes, Collect Cancel Fee* pax.


^^This.


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## Thelma & Louise (T&L) (Jul 27, 2015)

Well played Modern-Day-Slavery


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## Thelma & Louise (T&L) (Jul 27, 2015)

Fuzzyelvis said:


> I don't think my mother has a prostate...


The Pax does not know that his Mum is a _hermaphrodite_. Baffled pax can be such fun.


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## villetta (Feb 11, 2016)

FAC said:


> Similar to james2ko....But this is only for women drivers.
> The Drunk Horny Pax or Paxs . Typically guys mid 20s - late 30s (in my experience). They stare at drivers chest (I dare not say the word that got another topic off subject). Comment how beautiful you are. Then they ask if you want to go make out with him (them). Sometimes repeatedly. In my experience they are harmless just drunk and horny. If your driving one male pax, typically don't get a tip; if driving a car full drunk horny paxs, typically there is one in the bunch embarrassed about their friends actions and tip between $10-25. * how to get 5 stars *: they usually always give 5 stars. If for no other reason they like looking at me.
> 
> Then there is the drunk pax...no advice there it's a crap shoot.


Worse is the 55 and older drunk male,who may or may not be homeless, who thinks he still has IT like a 20s - late 30s guy. Far worse. "You're not wearing a wedding ring?" No, I do not wear irreplaceable jewelry while driving


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## UTX1 (Dec 7, 2015)

Fuzzyelvis said:


> I don't think my mother has a prostate...


I am a bit confused about Bruce Jenner.
He's still father to several children, I was thinking that
he no longer has a prostate, maybe but I dunno.
The mom does not have a prostate and neither does the dad ?
Is this what's going on now ? I'm having trouble keeping up.

How can you keep a family together without at least one good prostate ?


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## Dback2004 (Nov 7, 2015)

*The "Can we run through Taco Bell on the way"*:
This person expects you to go through Taco Bell 5 minutes after Bar-close and during surge rates because "my last driver said it was OK." If you're stupid enough to comply they will then make an ass out of themselves trying to order through the backseat window and probably grind taco drippings into your floor mats in ways you didn't previously think possible. 
*How to get five stars:* Feed their ego (and booze-filled stomachs) and you'll get five stars. Say "no" (in such a way their mommy apparently never did) and you'll get a 1* rating, but alas, clean floor mats... assuming you make it to their destination before that liquor comes back up


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## Another Uber Driver (May 27, 2015)

UTX1 said:


> I am a bit confused about Bruce Jenner. I was thinking that
> he no longer has a prostate, maybe but I dunno


Bruce, Caitlyn or whatever-the-name-is has not had the surgery, Y-E-T.


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## FAC (Mar 27, 2016)

villetta said:


> Worse is the 55 and older drunk male,who may or may not be homeless, who thinks he still has IT like a 20s - late 30s guy. Far worse. "You're not wearing a wedding ring?" No, I do not wear irreplaceable jewelry while driving


How awful! Just had that visual! At least my drunk paxs are 10-20 yrs younger than me. Guess it's the cougar thing. They are harmless but can be annoying.


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## Russ Reed (Mar 30, 2016)

Beur said:


> Women don't have prostates, therefore it's impossible for your mother to have died from prostate cancer.


How dare you have you not seen Transparent lol jk jk jk I agree! I read that 10x


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## Another Uber Driver (May 27, 2015)

FAC said:


> Guess it's the cougar thing.


I learned very early as a young man that never should you turn up your nose at an older woman simply because she is older.

As for the much older guys hitting on the young chicks, I hear that lament frequently in both the cab and the UberX car. These rather nice looking young ladies complain about Uber and Lyft drivers who are old enough to be their grandfathers who are hitting on them. I do not know what it is about me that makes them comfortable telling me about it, but tell me about it they do.

I did have a much younger chick try to hit on me at my regular job. I have a GF (and had one at the time, as well; same one that I have now, in fact). Still, I could not help but wonder what I was supposed to do with a woman over thirty years younger than I. I would be afraid of falling asleep prematurely, never mind anything else.


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## bossdriver (Apr 25, 2016)

The Double Agent - This pax hates his life and occupation. So, not only does this pax tell others not to use uber but secretly uses Uber as his sole means of transportation. Not only is he a loser, but he/she wants to make your life miserable as well. Pax acts friendly but will only give you 4 stars max.! Pax enters your vehicle and secretly takes pics of your tip sign to send to uber. If you have a Juno phone with 35% off they take pic of that as well and send to uber. Uber puts u on a wait list (deactivation) and then uber sends you emails to refer your friends as drivers. How to get 5 stars: you can't. Don't drive for Uber.


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## Force of Nature (Feb 16, 2016)

*The Millennial ******bag(s):*

They will come into your car, slam the doors with their buddies, act like your music is shit & immediately ask for the aux cable, ask you if they can smoke in your car, if you have any phone chargers for their iPhone 5+, and if you have any packs of gum.

*How to get five stars:* Give them the aux cable, let them smoke in your car, give them your multi-input phone charger, give them an entire pack of juicy fruit gum, suck up your dignity and chuck it out the window.


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## El Janitor (Feb 22, 2016)

I had almost all of them but I do have one for you, not sure where it fits in.

I picked up a guy, he instantly started trying to be my best friend. Then he asks, "Is it ok to smoke a joint in here?" I said no. Anhow he needs to go 2 blocks away, and its a round trip back. Gets better, we start talking and he tells me about his lady and how," he traveled from out of town to see her." From the city to the valley next door all of maybe 20 miles one way. 

So the world traveler continues to tell me about his long journey, "because ya know." I do? Know what exactly? Then as I'm waiting on him to come out from the pharmacy he asks ,"Where can we find food, ya know a good burger?" Um big red letters across the street says;" Wendys"? Anyhow on the 2 block trip back he starts with his woes and how do you mange all these "female dogs yo?" To which I reply, "Maybe have one relationship at a time ?" IDK better then trying to hide 5 but what do I know? According to him not much at all because he doesn't know how to manage 5 at once. I have enough trouble at times with one at a time, if you don't like my answer then don't ask me, but don't call me names because I'm not all stressed out traveling the world 20 miles at time like you trying to manage all my ladies.


 had to share


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## FAC (Mar 27, 2016)

Another Uber Driver said:


> I have a GF (and had one at the time, as well; same one that I have now, in fact).


 isn't it time to make an honest woman out of your GF? I know it's none of my business. Just a bit out spoken as usual.


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## Adbam (Jun 25, 2015)

How about.

Clown car pax...self explanatory 6 people in ur compact. They say "they are not going far". As if that makes it better.

Long distance 10 min before bar surge pax.. they know the system and when to get out of town on the cheap and screw you at the same time.

Desperate on the outside of town 15 min ping pax.... they won't give up when you ignore the ping the 1st time. Even when you turn off your app for a few min. Right when you turn the app back on there's the ping again.
....this one is closely related to the....
Far away ping short trip pax....when the night is slow and u accept a far p/u and u drive 10 min to make 2$.

And don't forget the

"Don't worry I'll give u a tip pax".. for what ever reason, ur nice, do them a favor, deal with friends stupidity, stop somewhere, ect...They say they will tip u and then get out at the end of ride quickly and walk off.


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## uber strike (Jan 10, 2016)

the cheapster: orders uber pool and still expects good service. oh and does not even tip.


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## uberdrivermensch (Aug 26, 2015)

The biographer a.k.a the Askhole.


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## UberAnt39 (Jun 1, 2016)

The seriously snooty Stanford student: Put up with his disdain & arrogance till you get him to his dorm, then 3* his ass.


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## Thehulk (Jul 23, 2015)

Another Uber Driver said:


> Uber offers regular, licenced taxicabs in certain markets. They are the same taxis that you would hail on the street or for which you would call a cab company. The fares are the regular taxi rates as determined by local regulators. Uber Taxi does not have surges. You summon and pay for your Uber Taxi just as you would any other Uber. There is one exception in New York City, but that applies to New York City, only.
> 
> Uber offers taxis in:
> 
> ...


In nyc it's the regular yellow cabs and customers can't pay through the Uber app. It's cash only...


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## FAC (Mar 27, 2016)

Do I even dare bring up this pax... *Fake* *Service Dog Pax*  there are enough threads on this forum that discusses this pax. How to get 5*: suck it up and take them or they will call ADA on you. Never had one of these but appears many other drivers have. But I'm a driver who drives with her REAL service dog.

The other one:
 *Pax with dog or other animal*  Not required to take these pax. Never had one of these either but been a pax with my dog. Most respectful pax like myself contact driver ahead of time and ask if they can bring their dog. Personally I don't say it's a service dog. I get there are many drivers who don't like dogs and want to give them option to opt out. Don't want my disability to be a burden on another. 
*How to get 5 stars*
Most (not all) appreciate the fact you will take them and their furry friend. So it's almost like an automatic 5* and tip.


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## UTX1 (Dec 7, 2015)

*KNOW YOUR RIDER*

You nor I will likely ever have a pax like this, but somewhere out there.....
roams the *Sunflower Cat Pax *. Wish the door would magically open
and enter such a passenger. Sure Jerry, where ever you want to go.....

( this one's from waaay back, before most of us could rock n' roll with effect)


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## JulieM678 (May 3, 2016)

I'm pretty sure judging by the extent of this post and the multiple personalities of the people, that I haven't been driving Uber nearly long enough to meet any of them! I have met some that had some shadows or attributes of these sorts of people, but I have not met the extreme versions. It must be where I'm driving. I have the best customers, no complaining, no drunk pukers, no demands for aux cables, music, mints, water, gum. 
I'm rather glad when a customer directs my car for me, they're usually doing a better job than Uber can. By that point we've agreed it's not me, it's the navigation.
For that pleasurable bumpy ride that makes you feel you're with a student driver, there's the city streets of Worcester to completely destroy your reputation AND your confidence. Still no complaints because that's Worcester!! 
I do my best to judge whether or not the customer wants to be engaged, my personality tends to draw them in. They generally leave my car happy we met, with A smile, and a better understanding of the rating system.
I don't worry about what "type" they are. Every customer is a blank page to write on.


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## JulieM678 (May 3, 2016)

FAC said:


> Do I even dare bring up this pax... *Fake* *Service Dog Pax*  there are enough threads on this forum that discusses this pax. How to get 5*: suck it up and take them or they will call ADA on you. Never had one of these but appears many other drivers have. But I'm a driver who drives with her REAL service dog.
> 
> The other one:
> *Pax with dog or other animal*  Not required to take these pax. Never had one of these either but been a pax with my dog. Most respectful pax like myself contact driver ahead of time and ask if they can bring their dog. Personally I don't say it's a service dog. I get there are many drivers who don't like dogs and want to give them option to opt out. Don't want my disability to be a burden on another.
> ...


you RocK ;@ ~~~<@. & I would love animal passengers!! A little bit of dog hair would definitely be worth the cleanup to have that as a passenger !!


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## Modern-Day-Slavery (Feb 22, 2016)

JulieM678 said:


> They generally leave my car happy we met, with A smile,


That's great, happy endings are always desirable.


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## FAC (Mar 27, 2016)

This is for Colrado, Portland, Washington state and DC...

* Dispensary Tour for the Visiting Pax* I think the title seals for itself. Paxs visiting from states that recreational marijuana isn't legal so they want to visit a dispensary.

*How to get 5* * know the dispensaries. Although I don't partake I do know the better dispensary around. Remind your pax the must pay cash. Also remind them to follow the recommended serving amount for edibles and they must consume their purchases before returning home.

then there are the 
*The native stoner pax* I love these guys as long as I get the destination first thing. If they're laughing stoners I can't help but laugh with them. Mostly I get the chill out type. Really laid back. Trips out on your music regardless what you're playing. Easiest of all the pax if the don't fall asleep. Very low maintenance. Sometimes really funny.Always laid back

*How to get 5 stars...*
You don't get any rating. The forget to rate you.


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## Another Uber Driver (May 27, 2015)

Thehulk said:


> In nyc it's the regular yellow cabs and customers can't pay through the Uber app. It's cash only...


Correct; that is for New York City, _*ONLY*_. In all other markets where Uber offers taxis, you summon _*and pay*_ for your Uber Taxi _*through the application*_.


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## Another Uber Driver (May 27, 2015)

UTX1 said:


> *KNOW YOUR RIDER
> Sunflower Cat Pax *. Sure Jerry, where ever you want to go.....


I knew that at some point, someone would make this reference. _*I Know You , Rider*_ really is a traditional, but the Grateful Dead did make it more widely known than it used to be. Ahhhhhhhhhh, yes, those were the days..................then Jerry died and all of us had to get jobs. I do wonder how many became Uber drivers.



JulieM678 said:


> For that pleasurable bumpy ride, there's the city streets of Worcester to completely destroy your reputation AND your confidence. Still no complaints because that's Worcester!!


Ahhhhhhhh, yes, The Cahhhs..................that one is Candy-O, correct? I knew that you had to be from Massachusetts without even looking in your ID box or reading your post.


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## GambitFW (Mar 14, 2016)

*Drunk Sorority Chick(s)* As a group, you get to hear the best gossip about how hot Evan and Blaine are at the Kappa house and the secret confessional that one of the girls spent the night there. You also find out that Becky is anorexic and has been since high school and is about to go into treatment because her parents just found out. And she's a *****. Also, you learn that they can't even. They can't even, a lot. Then they tell how much they can't even on their Snapchat Story. The solo sorority chick just wants to bash Evan because he wanted to go out with Blaine and the other Kappas instead of her and there is nothing wrong with her, it's his fault, and maybe he's cheating on her because she heard that one of her sister's spent the night in the Kappa house and what is she doing with her life she doesn't even want to graduate and get a real job.
5 stars: Offer no advice, have a tissue and give mints because they haven't eaten in, like, forever.


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## GambitFW (Mar 14, 2016)

Oh and FAC, besides your other assets, the drunk guys hit on you because they also just spent 3 hours at the club with Drunk Sorority Chicks and think every female is that easy.


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## FAC (Mar 27, 2016)

GambitFW said:


> Oh and FAC, besides your other assets, the drunk guys hit on you because they also just spent 3 hours at the club with Drunk Sorority Chicks and think every female is that easy.


I too was a sorority chick. Long before uber. You described one of the houses on my campus perfectly. At my school there were the girls you wanted to be seen with, the girls you wanted to party with (my house), the girls you wanted to marry; and the easy sleazy delta house, and there was the house of brains and geeks.


----------



## Body Politic (Jan 1, 2016)

Beur said:


> Women don't have prostates, therefore it's impossible for your mother to have died from prostate cancer.


Don't anyone ever try to put anything past this here super-sleuth...



Fuzzyelvis said:


> I don't think my mother has a prostate...


Given the current-day transgender fetish, I wouldn't take anything for granted any more.


----------



## UberLaLa (Sep 6, 2015)

Another Uber Driver said:


> Uber offers regular, licenced taxicabs in certain markets. They are the same taxis that you would hail on the street or for which you would call a cab company. The fares are the regular taxi rates as determined by local regulators. Uber Taxi does not have surges. You summon and pay for your Uber Taxi just as you would any other Uber. There is one exception in New York City, but that applies to New York City, only.
> 
> Uber offers taxis in:
> 
> ...


And South Korea. I was shocked a year ago when I got off the plane and jabbed my Uber App and the only selection was UberTaxi. I was fairly new to driving then and thought, _Isn't that an oxymoron?! _lol


----------



## Laronda (May 25, 2016)

I think you're missing the sobber. Emotional girls comin in the car tellin me bout life stories n stuff


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## GambitFW (Mar 14, 2016)

FAC said:


> I too was a sorority chick. Long before uber. You described one of the houses on my campus perfectly. At my school there were the girls you wanted to be seen with, the girls you wanted to party with (my house), the girls you wanted to marry; and the easy sleazy delta house, and there was the house of brains and geeks.


Tri-Delts, everyone else has!


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## FAC (Mar 27, 2016)

GambitFW said:


> Tri-Delts, everyone else has!


Took me a second then I got it. Great wit. And you nailed it! At my school those were the girls!

But I got to be honest. The party girls also had a ****ty (easy) reputation but at least we were known as the fun girls you wanted to hang out with!


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## uber fooled (Mar 3, 2016)

I LOOK MEAN LIKE A EX CON(TATTOOS & I TYPE IN CAPS,SO I DONT GET MUCH OF THESE ATTITUDE.


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## UberLaLa (Sep 6, 2015)

FAC said:


> Do I even dare bring up this pax... *Fake* *Service Dog Pax*  there are enough threads on this forum that discusses this pax. How to get 5*: suck it up and take them or they will call ADA on you. Never had one of these but appears many other drivers have. But I'm a driver who drives with her REAL service dog.
> 
> The other one:
> *Pax with dog or other animal*  Not required to take these pax. Never had one of these either but been a pax with my dog. Most respectful pax like myself contact driver ahead of time and ask if they can bring their dog. Personally I don't say it's a service dog. I get there are many drivers who don't like dogs and want to give them option to opt out. Don't want my disability to be a burden on another.
> ...


I never refuse animals, have taken maybe a half dozen. Always friendly with the pet, owners are always respectful of my auto as well....none have ever tipped. : /


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## GambitFW (Mar 14, 2016)

As they were when I went to school. Them and the Chi-O's. Zeta's were fun ones I partied with.


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## FAC (Mar 27, 2016)

UberLaLa said:


> I never refuse animals, have taken maybe a half dozen. Always friendly with the pet, owners are always respectful of my auto as well....none have ever tipped. : /


Most pet owners are very respectful when someone goes out of their way to accommodate them. Surprised about not getting tipped. Personally I never tip less than $10 often more. Other dog owners I know do the same.


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## UberLaLa (Sep 6, 2015)

FAC said:


> Most pet owners are very respectful when someone goes out of their way to accommodate them. Surprised about not getting tipped. Personally I never tip less than $10 often more. Other dog owners I know do the same.


Yes well, I be in L.A.


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## UberLaLa (Sep 6, 2015)

*The Wrong Pin-Dropper*

They are a few blocks away, usually at bar close, and when you call to find them they don't complain about the difference in locations. BECAUSE THEY DID IT TO HAVE LESS SURGE, HELLO!? 
*
*


----------



## PoorBasterd (Mar 6, 2015)

*The Wait-Here-Till-I-Come-Back Pax.*

These are the ones that assume they have chartered your car for however long it takes for them to go inside a Store or fast-food joint and buy whatever crap they they went for; And you are expected to sit there on the roadside and chill your wheels at their behest. At *18* cents CAD per minute, it is absolutely NOT worth your while. How to get 5 stars? *Forgetaboutit*! These pax are usually the dooshiest ones you'll ever have the misfortune of carrying. If you even so much as appear that you're not happy about being asked to wait on Master/Mistress, that's a guaranteed 1 star right there. *You CANNOT make this person happy*. Insist that you cannot wait and that they should summon another Uber whenever/if ever they are ready. They will usually not take no for an answer to their unreasonable demands and will try to leave something in your car to discourage you from leaving them behind. What should you do? When they are gone, finish the trip anyway and Uber on. If they left something in your car, they can arrange to get back their crap *at your convenience*.


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## M_silicon_valley (May 13, 2015)

*The Hold Your Car Hostage Pax.*

These are the ones that will jump in your car and usually leave the door open for their friends that are 'coming right out', which usually means in 5 - 10 minutes. They will try to chat you up to pass the time thinking you will forget that you are waiting to start the ride. Also, if they get uncomfortable waiting for the rest of their party they will ultimately say, 'let me go check on them'. Which is great because it gives you an out to cancel/no show and move on (oh, after you get out and go close the door they left open yet again).

How to get 5 stars; Act like it's no big deal and just wait it out, or burn rubber when they go check on the rest of the party!


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## stuber (Jun 30, 2014)

Great post. One recent article I read was about a study conducted by the Pew Research Center. The study looks closely at the Uber/Lyft phenomenon and an interesting fact emerges: Only 15% of the population has ever used these TNCs.

Thus, the commonalities between passenger types, is somewhat understandable and even predictable. Uber drivers are serving a relatively small portion of the general public.


----------



## Another Uber Driver (May 27, 2015)

FAC said:


> and the easy sleazy delta house,


A friend of mine went to U North Dakota and belonged to Delta Zeta, which she told me stood for "Dakota Zoo". They called them the "E-Z/D-Zs". they pledged her just to raise the Sorority's GPA.



UberLaLa said:


> And South Korea. I was shocked a year ago when I got off the plane and jabbed my Uber App and the only selection was UberTaxi.


Thank you for the update, I will add Seoul and Inchon to the list. Those are the only two cities in South Korea that Uber's website shows. Both cities show Uber Black and Uber Taxi as the only two levels available.



M_silicon_valley said:


> *The Hold Your Car Hostage Pax.*
> 
> These are the ones that will jump in your car and usually leave the door open for their friends that are 'coming right out', which usually means in 5 - 10 minutes.


That is a variation of an old stunt passengers used to pull when they called a cab. They used to come out, put their small children into the cab, then go back inside and take all day coming back out to the cab. They figured that you could not leave their small children at the kerb unattended. These people would finally come out, see that the meter was on and "OH NO, YOU CAN START THAT METER ALL OVER AGAIN RIGHT NOW, I AIN'T PAYIN' NO............................................." Back in the days of the Zones, as soon as I saw this, I would inform the parent that there would be a charge for me to wait before they had the chance to put the children into the cab. The first flinch and I pulled off. It got to the point, though, that unless it were late July to late August, I was not waiting. It just was not worth it. It got to the point where I would ask if everyone were getting into the cab and we were going, or did someone need to go back into the residence. If I did not hear the answer that I wanted, I pulled away from the address.


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## New2This (Dec 27, 2015)

UTX1 said:


> I am a bit confused about Bruce Jenner.


You think you're confused...


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## FAC (Mar 27, 2016)

UberLaLa said:


> Yes well, I be in L.A.


They don't tip in LA?


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## UTX1 (Dec 7, 2015)

New2This said:


> You think you're confused...


HE'S SO CUTE ! But he seems so sad
Maybe he thinks daddy is gonna remove everyone's nuts before it over.


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## UTX1 (Dec 7, 2015)

PoorBasterd said:


> *You CANNOT make this person happy*.


There are several flavors of this type pax and you are correct, not worth the time.



PoorBasterd said:


> *The Wait-Here-Till-I-Come-Back Pax.*
> They will usually not take no for an answer to their unreasonable demands and will try to leave something
> in your car to discourage you from leaving them behind. *What should you do?*


Don't let them leave crap in you car. Make up something. Tell them it's an insurance thing.
You're in charge....remember ?


----------



## I have nuts (Mar 29, 2015)

Modern-Day-Slavery said:


> All Uber riders think they are unique but really 90% of them fit into one of the following categories:
> 
> *The Texter:* This rider has a habit of messaging you within a minute of accepting the trip. They ask things like "where you at!?" Or "Are you close by?!" Or "I see you're going the wrong way" when you're just trying to do a legal U-turn.
> *How to get five stars:* Cancel
> ...


Lol, sadly very accurate.


----------



## tohunt4me (Nov 23, 2015)

Modern-Day-Slavery said:


> All Uber riders think they are unique but really 90% of them fit into one of the following categories:
> 
> *The Texter:* This rider has a habit of messaging you within a minute of accepting the trip. They ask things like "where you at!?" Or "Are you close by?!" Or "I see you're going the wrong way" when you're just trying to do a legal U-turn.
> *How to get five stars:* Cancel
> ...


THIS WAS GREAT !
( you left out drunks,you must drive days)

Love the Feature Illustration too !
( should have had a cracked egg in the carton!)


----------



## tohunt4me (Nov 23, 2015)

I


Beur said:


> Women don't have prostates, therefore it's impossible for your mother to have died from prostate cancer.


It was a facetious illustrative example of a duck and cover defense for ratings with this type of pax !

Don't be so literal.

Prostate cancer in a woman was deliberately used to illustrate the excuse can be any,but must be as fake as the pax.


----------



## Kembolicous (May 31, 2016)

JulieM678 said:


> you RocK ;@ ~~~<@. & I would love animal passengers!! A little bit of dog hair would definitely be worth the cleanup to have that as a passenger !!


Yes Julie M. I think I would prefer a dog or cat pax, to some of the people.


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## stuber (Jun 30, 2014)

See if you recognize The Grumpy Executive. Yes, he ordered X, but he's not happy about it. His company used to pay for car service, but current company policy requires that "airport transportation for business purposes is capped at $40 per trip, including gratuity." The rider longs for his old driver Fred and remembers with affection Fred's beautiful Lincoln Towncar. The rider is today rolling in a very serviceable Hyundai on his 18.5 mile trip, but he wishes for a return to the past. The UBERX drivers cannot assuage his grief, even with mints and bottled water.


----------



## tohunt4me (Nov 23, 2015)

stuber said:


> See if you recognize The Grumpy Executive. Yes, he ordered X, but he's not happy about it. His company used to pay for car service, but current company policy requires that "airport transportation for business purposes is capped at $40 per trip, including gratuity." The rider longs for his old driver Fred and remembers with affection Fred's beautiful Lincoln Towncar. The rider is today rolling in a very serviceable Hyundai on his 18.5 mile trip, but he wishes for a return to the past. The UBERX drivers cannot assuage his grief, even with mints and bottled water.


I had a surgical director I picked up at his home on the gulf course who runs a large hospital.
He has a personal driver.

Was the kind of guy anyone,everyone would like.
A joy to drive for.
Going to work in a suit with an 80's Addidas gym bag for his surgical scrubs.
Guy is a millionaire,still likes his 36 year old gym bag.
Had 2 top of the line Mercedes parked in his driveway.
Great guy.


----------



## tohunt4me (Nov 23, 2015)

UTX1 said:


> I am a bit confused about Bruce Jenner.
> He's still father to several children, I was thinking that
> he no longer has a prostate, maybe but I dunno.
> The mom does not have a prostate and neither does the dad ?
> ...


Bruce didn't cut nothing off.

Just deflate saline "breasts" with hyperdermic,and it's all Bruce again.

( a lil fix a flat and he could inflate,deflate them at will ,or whenever their reality t.v. show needs a cheap boost)


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## UTX1 (Dec 7, 2015)

tohunt4me said:


> Bruce didn't cut nothing off.
> 
> Just deflate saline "breasts" with hyperdermic,and it's all Bruce again.


Well thank goodness.  I guess it's safe to eat my Wheaties again.


----------



## tohunt4me (Nov 23, 2015)

Dback2004 said:


> *The "Can we run through Taco Bell on the way"*:
> This person expects you to go through Taco Bell 5 minutes after Bar-close and during surge rates because "my last driver said it was OK." If you're stupid enough to comply they will then make an ass out of themselves trying to order through the backseat window and probably grind taco drippings into your floor mats in ways you didn't previously think possible.
> *How to get five stars:* Feed their ego (and booze-filled stomachs) and you'll get five stars. Say "no" (in such a way their mommy apparently never did) and you'll get a 1* rating, but alas, clean floor mats... assuming you make it to their destination before that liquor comes back up


Feeding drunks is a public service.

Imagine the house fires you prevent by keeping drunks from falling asleep while cooking !

Imagine the livers you save !


----------



## tohunt4me (Nov 23, 2015)

UTX1 said:


> View attachment 42884
> 
> 
> Well thank goodness.  I guess it's safe to eat my Wheaties again.


Did you check bottom of the box for a " prize" ?


----------



## UTX1 (Dec 7, 2015)

tohunt4me said:


> Did you check bottom of the box for a " prize" ?


Yes, now that you mentioned it.....
At first I thought, "cool, what's this ?
a decoder ring, a pair of 3D glasses, what is this ?"
and then I look at it a little closer and
oh, well it's a butt plug. 

I can't save all of these. The dresser drawer is full. 
I hardly have anywhere to put my socks as it is.


----------



## tohunt4me (Nov 23, 2015)

JulieM678 said:


> I'm pretty sure judging by the extent of this post and the multiple personalities of the people, that I haven't been driving Uber nearly long enough to meet any of them! I have met some that had some shadows or attributes of these sorts of people, but I have not met the extreme versions. It must be where I'm driving. I have the best customers, no complaining, no drunk pukers, no demands for aux cables, music, mints, water, gum.
> I'm rather glad when a customer directs my car for me, they're usually doing a better job than Uber can. By that point we've agreed it's not me, it's the navigation.
> For that pleasurable bumpy ride that makes you feel you're with a student driver, there's the city streets of Worcester to completely destroy your reputation AND your confidence. Still no complaints because that's Worcester!!
> I do my best to judge whether or not the customer wants to be engaged, my personality tends to draw them in. They generally leave my car happy we met, with A smile, and a better understanding of the rating system.
> I don't worry about what "type" they are. Every customer is a blank page to write on.


You have not " ubered" until you experience THE list.


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## tohunt4me (Nov 23, 2015)

UTX1 said:


> *KNOW YOUR RIDER*
> 
> You nor I will likely ever have a pax like this, but somewhere out there.....
> roams the *Sunflower Cat Pax *. Wish the door would magically open
> ...


Have you seen the concert in Egypt ?
At the front of the Sphynx.
"Must have been the Roses".or maybe the Rosecrutions(AMORC)
THE OLD SAN FRANCISCO DAYS.
Ahhh the " Weather reports", no more underground weather,those days have passed.
I will play " Wharf Rat"in your honour.
From Tokyo Rose school of broadcasting. . .

(432hz,Pythagoras one of the last students of the Masters at the pyramids knew the architecture of frequency,so did the Masters who played in the Grateful Dead)


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## UTX1 (Dec 7, 2015)

tohunt4me said:


> Have you seen the concert in Egypt ?
> At the front of the Sphynx.
> "Must have been the Roses".or maybe the Rosecrutions(AMORC)
> THE OLD SAN FRANCISCO DAYS.
> Ahhh the " Weather reports", no more underground weather,those days have passed.


I know there were three dates played in Giza sometime in 1978.
There's a compilation album out there with lots of good tracks.


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## UTX1 (Dec 7, 2015)

How's this for a lousy pax to endure:
*
The Egyptian Mummy Pax* - He's 3,000 years old and he even pings you using a flip phone.
How does he even do that ? You get to the pick up and he's waiting there with a sarcophagus
and expects you to somehow get this coffin in your trunk.

Then, he want's to drive thru Whataburger because he hasn't eaten in centuries.
Repeatedly, he tries to steal your life force or suck your soul out while you're driving.
Keeps asking for the Aux cord.

For a 5 * rating: Play ACDC and Guns and Roses at full volume the entire trip.


----------



## tohunt4me (Nov 23, 2015)

Yes ,you must know your rider.
Composition must be known before structure can be perceived.


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## tohunt4me (Nov 23, 2015)

UTX1 said:


> I know there were three dates played in Giza sometime in 1978.
> There's a compilation album out there with lots of good tracks.


I try not to pollute " feature" posts.

Only the dead and buried.

Yet here we are.


----------



## tohunt4me (Nov 23, 2015)

UTX1 said:


> *KNOW YOUR RIDER*
> 
> You nor I will likely ever have a pax like this, but somewhere out there.....
> roams the *Sunflower Cat Pax *. Wish the door would magically open
> ...


That is OLLLLLLD !
PIG PEN IS alive and standing at the back of that picture !


----------



## Fuzzyelvis (Dec 7, 2014)

The disgusting misogynist. Usually travel in pairs.

Men who discuss the women they've f***** recently and what b****** said women are. (Their words, mods, not mine). Complete with details of every sex act and anatomic descriptions of said women. Usually a 1 to 10 scale is involved.

Had 2 guys one night who almost got into a physical fight in the back seat whilst about arguing which one of them was responsible for the ass/p****/c** stains on the couch.

This after 10 minutes about how Dee was a f****** c*** but gave great BJ's so it was ok because she was "just a f***" and Mary was a real nice girl, but her t*** were not up to par.

I was apparently invisible. 

I've had others, too. I wish I could play back the things they say in my car to the women in their life.

Haven't had any of these for a while, but I'm driving a lot less. I'd kick them out now.


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## UTX1 (Dec 7, 2015)

Fuzzyelvis said:


> and Mary was a real nice girl, but her t*** were not up to par.


You know, I always thought Mary was a nice girl too. 

To this day, there are people who won't let Dee in their house,
much less let her drink out of their cups or glasses. Whooooof !


----------



## tohunt4me (Nov 23, 2015)

Fuzzyelvis said:


> The disgusting misogynist. Usually travel in pairs.
> 
> Men who discuss the women they've f***** recently and what b****** said women are. (Their words, mods, not mine). Complete with details of every sex act and anatomic descriptions of said women. Usually a 1 to 10 scale is involved.
> 
> ...


I've had women from the colleges do the exact same thing in my car.

Nothing shocks me.

Perhaps one rider will accomplish it one day.


----------



## tohunt4me (Nov 23, 2015)

UTX1 said:


> You know, I always thought Mary was a nice girl too.
> 
> To this day, there are people who won't let Dee in their house,
> much less let her drink out of their cups or glasses. Whooooof !


Mary is nice.

We must bring her t***s up to par !


----------



## Modern-Day-Slavery (Feb 22, 2016)

tohunt4me said:


> THIS WAS GREAT !
> ( you left out drunks,you must drive days)
> 
> Love the Feature Illustration too !
> ( should have had a cracked egg in the carton!)


tohunt4me Just for you


----------



## SD Momo (Feb 8, 2016)

Beur said:


> Women don't have prostates, therefore it's impossible for your mother to have died from prostate cancer.


Now they can. But no biological mother.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sex_reassignment_surgery_(male-to-female)


----------



## Hunt to Eat (Nov 19, 2015)

_*The Compulsive Complainer:*_ This is the lone rider who starts off by remarking that it took you forever to get to him, even though you arrived in exactly as many minutes as the app said it would take. Apparently you were supposed to be waiting at the end of his driveway when the ride request was issued. Once in the car, he will complain about the size or make of your car. Then he'll complain that he doesn't want to make the trip you're taking him to the airport for. Next he'll sneer and ask why you bought a car in the color you did. Naturally, he'll kvetch about whatever station or music selection is playing. Finally, he'll belittle you for driving a manual transmission car.
*How to get five stars:* You don't. There is no winning with this guy. Instead, pull over on a lonely stretch of road (preferably in north Scottsdale) and inform him that the ride is over. Help him get his luggage out of the trunk, but do not end the ride. Since he's the one being the insufferable boor, leave it up to him to cancel the ride. Besides, what else does he have to do on that dark, lonely stretch of road? And when you force the pax to cancel, he can't rate you.

Yes, this actually happened to me. I don't know if this jackwagon made his flight or not, but I didn't see that as my problem. In the larger perspective, I can't help but feel that I did this poor excuse for a man a favor by clearly illustrating that certain behaviors are not tolerated in polite society.


----------



## SuckA (May 4, 2016)

Love it!


----------



## Another Uber Driver (May 27, 2015)

FAC said:


> They don't tip in LA?


They do not tip too much on UberX here, either. Most of the UberX tips that I have received have come from people who do not live here. Initially, I did not receive too many tips on Lyft, either. It has gotten a little better, though.



stuber said:


> See if you recognize The Grumpy Executive. Yes, he ordered X, but he's not happy about it. His company used to pay for car service, but current company policy requires that "airport transportation for business purposes is capped at $40 per trip, including gratuity." The rider longs for his old driver Fred and remembers with affection Fred's beautiful Lincoln Towncar. The rider is today rolling in a very serviceable Hyundai on his 18.5 mile trip, but he wishes for a return to the past. The UBERX drivers cannot assuage his grief, even with mints and bottled water.


How to get five stars: You can accomplish this only if you are in a market where Uber allows Town Cars for UberX or allows Uber Black drivers to opt in to UberX. Even then, it must just so happen that you are driving a Town Car. All of the above must apply, otherwise you will not get five stars. The only saving thing about this guy is that half the time he will not rate you at all.



tohunt4me said:


> "Must have been the Roses".or maybe the Rosecrutions(AMORC)


Most of what is in that museum in San Jose are mock-ups. I can not believe that we used to go there on school trips.


----------



## Uberweekenddude (Mar 4, 2016)

1000 Questions for 4 minute ride - They want to know all about you in 4 min. What a joke, go to hell PAX
The Pick Up - Their going drinking and invite you. Can't they see I'm working and if I was drinking I wouldn't be driving. Then they get offended because you won't hang with them to cover their large bar bill. 
The pull over I'm going into the supermarket for one item, next 10 minutes later they have 14 bags of shit. Or the please pull over at the bank be fore the club. I get paid by distance, not to sit and wait for you. Got to hell
The 6 people trying to cram into my car of 4 seats. Oh she will sit on my lap, its OK, just drive.


----------



## Another Uber Driver (May 27, 2015)

Uberweekenddude said:


> Oh she will sit on my lap, its OK, just drive.


Wait until you get six chicks and one of them tries to sit on _*your*_ lap.

"Sweetie, the safe operation of this vehicle requires my full time and attention. As long as you are going to sit here, I find it quite impossible to direct my full time and attention to anyone or anything save you."


----------



## PoorBasterd (Mar 6, 2015)

Fuzzyelvis said:


> The disgusting misogynist. Usually travel in pairs. Men who discuss the women they've f***** recently and what b****** said women are.


It's usually men, but once in a long while, you'll get women who do this too. One Saturday night I picked up 3 Jewish young women. One of them blurted out: "I wanna get laid so bad!" They went on to describe the young men they had been screwed by, which one had the biggest shlong and which one did the deed the best. All the while oblivious that there was a man in the car old enough to be their father.


----------



## Trebor (Apr 22, 2015)

Speaking of waiting for a rider to be done on the toilet, I had a guy call me and he was really honest. He was on the toilet, said he was done but needed a few minutes. Since he was nice about it and I was in a good mood that night, I waited. He also asked if I could pull into his driveway. Since it was a main neighborhood street, I gladly obliged.

Turned out he was probably in his mid-20s and already had a walker. I'm glad I waited. He brought me a cold coke without asking, and that gesture was a good one, He had 2 cokes in his hand and had to walk with his walker. I am only assuming that carrying 1 coke, much less 2 is not very fun when you have to push a walker.

This guy, I saw him a few more times throughout my career (he lives close by to me). Anyways, he started to open up about why he was in a walker.. He was the drunk driver. No one else got hurt, but he obviously has remorse (probably since he is crippled). I ended up taking him to a bar one time though.


----------



## Trebor (Apr 22, 2015)

Another Uber Driver said:


> They do not tip too much on UberX here, either. Most of the UberX tips that I have received have come from people who do not live here. Initially, I did not receive too many tips on Lyft, either. It has gotten a little better, though.
> 
> How to get five stars: You can accomplish this only if you are in a market where Uber allows Town Cars for UberX or allows Uber Black drivers to opt in to UberX. Even then, it must just so happen that you are driving a Town Car. All of the above must apply, otherwise you will not get five stars. The only saving thing about this guy is that half the time he will not rate you at all.
> 
> Most of what is in that museum in San Jose are mock-ups. I can not believe that we used to go there on school trips.


My father was excited about taking Uber in d.c. You guys showed up every time within seconds. I asked him if he tipped. He said, he had no cash..

I failed.


----------



## 14gIV (Dec 12, 2015)

Trebor said:


> My father was excited about taking Uber in d.c. You guys showed up every time within seconds. I asked him if he tipped. He said, he had no cash..
> 
> I failed.


ATM machine


----------



## UberLaLa (Sep 6, 2015)

stuber said:


> See if you recognize The Grumpy Executive. Yes, he ordered X, but he's not happy about it. His company used to pay for car service, but current company policy requires that "airport transportation for business purposes is capped at $40 per trip, including gratuity." The rider longs for his old driver Fred and remembers with affection Fred's beautiful Lincoln Towncar. The rider is today rolling in a very serviceable Hyundai on his 18.5 mile trip, but he wishes for a return to the past. The UBERX drivers cannot assuage his grief, even with mints and bottled water.


And giving a 1 Star to these _sub-par poser drivers and their 'commoner' car_ is only right and necessary. If Mr. Grumpy had his way he would that there never were an Uber and his CFO could only choose between the cost of a Taxi or Towncar...


----------



## UTX1 (Dec 7, 2015)

PoorBasterd said:


> It's usually men, but once in a long while, you'll get women who do this too. One Saturday night I picked up 3 Jewish young women. One of them blurted out: "I wanna get laid so bad!" They went on to describe the young men they had been screwed by, which one had the biggest shlong and which one did the deed the best. All the while oblivious that there was a man in the car old enough to be their father.


Oy-vay !

...and maybe Oy Va jay jay too.


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## UberxGTA (Dec 1, 2015)

Beur said:


> Women don't have prostates, therefore it's impossible for your mother to have died from prostate cancer.


Lol...are you a rider in this category?


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## New2This (Dec 27, 2015)

Fuzzyelvis said:


> The disgusting misogynist. Usually travel in pairs.
> 
> Men who discuss the women they've f***** recently and what b****** said women are. (Their words, mods, not mine). Complete with details of every sex act and anatomic descriptions of said women. Usually a 1 to 10 scale is involved.
> 
> ...


I had the opposite of this. I had 4 girls that, while they acknowledged I was there, proceeded to talk about ALL sorts of sexual shit. Seriously it ran the gamut from toys to spanking, various things they liked done with/to various body parts & so on. I wish I had a dashcam for this; it would've been worth every penny.

The ride was from Rockville to D.C.; I would've driven them for free both for the entertainment value, as well as the tips when it comes to 'intimate times' with a woman.


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## PoorBasterd (Mar 6, 2015)

New2This said:


> I had the opposite of this. I had 4 girls that, while they acknowledged I was there, proceeded to talk about ALL sorts of sexual shit. Seriously it ran the gamut from toys to spanking, various things they liked done with/to various body parts & so on. I wish I had a dashcam for this; it would've been worth every penny.
> 
> The ride was from Rockville to D.C.; I would've driven them for free both for the entertainment value, as well as the tips when it comes to 'intimate times' with a woman.


The upside to this job is that it's rarely ever boring.


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## ubersan (Apr 29, 2016)

The Drunkard, The Cheap ass,


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## Not-waiting-at-Taco-Bell (Dec 4, 2015)

Dback2004 said:


> *The "Can we run through Taco Bell on the way"*:
> This person expects you to go through Taco Bell 5 minutes after Bar-close and during surge rates because "my last driver said it was OK." If you're stupid enough to comply they will then make an ass out of themselves trying to order through the backseat window and probably grind taco drippings into your floor mats in ways you didn't previously think possible.
> *How to get five stars:* Feed their ego (and booze-filled stomachs) and you'll get five stars. Say "no" (in such a way their mommy apparently never did) and you'll get a 1* rating, but alas, clean floor mats... assuming you make it to their destination before that liquor comes back up


Yes, exactly and that's why my screen name is what it is.

Had this the other day with two local spoiled college kids on their way to the expensive hair salon: 
Them: "There's a starbucks up at the corner, we're gonna go in for like 5 minutes."
Me: "The thing is when I am sitting still for 5 minutes at $0.13 a minutes I make 65 cents."
One of them: "I am ok with that." (completely oblivious)
Me: "It's not ok for me. That Starbucks is ridiculously busy and I am not waiting 10 minutes." 
Complete silence for the rest of the ride, until 9 minutes later they change the destination to the Starbucks two blocks from hair salon.
Them: "we changed the destination." 
Me: "Ok."


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## Not-waiting-at-Taco-Bell (Dec 4, 2015)

FAC said:


> This is for Colrado, Portland, Washington state and DC...
> 
> * Dispensary Tour for the Visiting Pax* I think the title seals for itself. Paxs visiting from states that recreational marijuana isn't legal so they want to visit a dispensary.
> 
> ...


Get a lot of the native stoner pax in Fort Lauderdale (it's still illegal here). Almost every server or bartender I take to work reeks, says next to nothing and never complains. A lot of them still get 4 starred because they leave no tip. Make that 3 stars. Service industry people should know better.


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## Squirming Like A Toad (Apr 7, 2016)

UberLaLa said:


> And giving a 1 Star to these _sub-par poser drivers and their 'commoner' car_ is only right and necessary. If Mr. Grumpy had his way he would that there never were an Uber and his CFO could only choose between the cost of a Taxi or Towncar...


Oh those guys are funny. Some people believe that XL is a luxury upgrade from X and of course it's not, it's just a capacity upgrade. I politely remind them that if they prefer Town Car or Escalade service it is available on their app.


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## PoorBasterd (Mar 6, 2015)

The Too-Cheap-To-Rent-A-Moving-Van pax

Those of you on XL have been called by this pax a few times. You roll-up expecting to see a bunch of people; but instead, you're confronted with a whole heap of furniture...and the pax actually expects you to help him get his crap into your minivan. How to get 5 stars? Cancel and tell the cheap-ass pax that you only move people, not goods. Uber on.


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## rocksteady (Mar 19, 2015)

I work weekend bar hours. It's funny how every so often a I have a pax repeatedly apologizing for the group of riders being drunk and acting like it. Of course the pax considerate enough to apologize is never the people who are doing anything that warrants apologizing. Just acting silly or saying dumb shit--typical drunk stuff that I see every night. I tell'em now worries. Stuff is par for the course. Our specialty is drunks.


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## rocksteady (Mar 19, 2015)

Squirming Like A Toad said:


> Oh those guys are funny. Some people believe that XL is a luxury upgrade from X and of course it's not, it's just a capacity upgrade. I politely remind them that if they prefer Town Car or Escalade service it is available on their app.


That is an odd interpretation for a term generally understood to mean "extra large." I'll remember that next time I'm shopping for t-shirts. Why not go with the upgrade when it's the same price?


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## rocksteady (Mar 19, 2015)

Beur said:


> Women don't have prostates, therefore it's impossible for your mother to have died from prostate cancer.


Wow, nothing gets by you. Except jokes, maybe.


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## rocksteady (Mar 19, 2015)

UTX1 said:


> Those are all very good examples of the Uber gene pool.
> 
> I've had the experience of the "whispering pair". Maybe they're an intimate couple,
> maybe they're just two good friends, whatever. It has to be two of them back there.
> ...


I always want to tell these people that I highly doubt whatever it is that's so private is anywhere near as private as some things I've heard from the back seat at full volume. Or tell'em no need to whisper, after thousands of rides it all blends together. Their convo isn't as special as they think.


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## rocksteady (Mar 19, 2015)

Fuzzyelvis said:


> I don't think my mother has a prostate...


Maybe no sense of humor either? Could be nature or nurture.


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## rocksteady (Mar 19, 2015)

PoorBasterd said:


> It's usually men, but once in a long while, you'll get women who do this too. One Saturday night I picked up 3 Jewish young women. One of them blurted out: "I wanna get laid so bad!" They went on to describe the young men they had been screwed by, which one had the biggest shlong and which one did the deed the best. All the while oblivious that there was a man in the car old enough to be their father.


Sounds entertaining


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## ninja warrior (Jan 10, 2016)




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## SomeDrivingGuy (May 10, 2016)

It's becoming a bit too often where a passenger mocks me for no reason. It is usually over petty crap they see. One chick even remarked, "hey guys let's watch tv on our 5 minute trip" as if it is down with anything being viewed. She complained the entire ride about me, in third person of course. 

It is surprising how immature a lot of people are. I guess money and age makes no difference.


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## marketmark (Dec 2, 2014)

Fuzzyelvis said:


> I don't think my mother has a prostate...


Check again. Generally a couple of feet below the adam's apple.
You can never be too sure...


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## classad98 (Dec 17, 2014)

Great post, thanks!


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## SurgeMachine (Mar 15, 2016)

Modern-Day-Slavery said:


> All Uber riders think they are unique but really 90% of them fit into one of the following categories:
> 
> *The Texter:* This rider has a habit of messaging you within a minute of accepting the trip. They ask things like "where you at!?" Or "Are you close by?!" Or "I see you're going the wrong way" when you're just trying to do a legal U-turn.
> *How to get five stars:* Cancel
> ...


You Sir, deserve 5 stars for this post!


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## Jessie31 (May 28, 2016)

So it is possible to cancel a ride how do I do that


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## Force of Nature (Feb 16, 2016)

Jessie31 said:


> So it is possible to cancel a ride how do I do that


Click on the button on the top left corner of the "On Trip" screen. Click on the "Cancel" button on the right. Select "rider no show". Get used to this because you're going to be doing this regularly. Ignore angry texts from the riders.


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## 14gIV (Dec 12, 2015)

haha I'm the Ghoster


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## avguste (Apr 7, 2016)

james2ko said:


> *The Seductress:* Usually a lonely out-of-towner in town for a couple days, looking for a native to add to her trophy collection. They make awkward statements like, "I'll be leaving town tomorrow and I'm going to spend my last night at the hotel all by myself". *How To get 5 stars: *Accept request and complete the "ride".


How to get 5 stars: Accept the request, complete the ride, join them at the hotel LOL


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